kidsinthecity ISSUE 16 March/April 2016 BRISBANE
www.kidsinthecity.com.au
FREE TAKE ME HOME
Birthday issue
The ultimate party planner • Changing role of grandparents • Responding to angry children Life on the autism spectrum • Kids in the garden
Discover
a Catholic school for your child
[CONTENTS]
Cake by Cake Alchemy
Edward, 12mths
[WELCOME] We’re back into the swing of a new school year and new routines … and hold on, can it be almost Easter and school holidays again?! Time really does fly, and it’s just as hard to believe that it’s also our 12th birthday in March! To celebrate we’ve found some great products that you can win to help spread the birthday cheer. Check these out on pages 18 and 19, then head to our website for a chance to WIN! My family is still getting used to our new after-school routine with some new activities for my 9-year-old daughter and more of the same (much more of the same…) for my little dancer and her dance mum! Our afternoons and weekends may be a little hectic – there’s much to be said for not overscheduling, a topic I’m keen to explore in the future – but all that my girls love to do is made a little easier with the help of two very special people, my partner and my mum. We are so blessed to have Mum close to us and she is a wonderful support to me and my siblings, our partners and her six grandchildren. Many grandparents are now more involved with their grandkids than ever before, and our feature article explores how this is not only great for the grandchild but for the grandparent as well. My kids cherish the time they spend with Grandma and it’s a special part of her life as well. One of the reasons grandparents are often involved in informal child care for their grandkids is the discrepancy between the working day and the school day, and our education article takes a look at the challenges this creates. When you are ready to slow the pace a little, take the opportunity to connect with nature by involving the whole family in some gardening. Check out our wellbeing section for some great ideas on how to get kids into the garden and growing their very own plants. Finally, if you’re ready to start planning some fun activities for the school holidays keep an eye out in mid-March for our Easter school holiday guide. With so many great things going on in our sunny corner of Queensland you and your kids will have a hard time choosing just what to do. As always, please feel free to contact our team via our website or email, and don’t forget to sign up for our What’s On eNews that comes out weekly at www.kidsonthecoast.com.au or www.kidsinthecity.com.au
Natasha Higgins, Editor
3 FROM THE EDITOR
22 BABIES: “Dear Baby, it’s me, Mum”
4 WHAT’S ON: Find out what’s happening during March & April
26 PARENTING FILES: STOP IT!
6 SOCIAL 8 WHAT’S NEWS 10 FEATURE: The changing role of grandparents
Angry and aggressive children 29 EDUCATION: Modernising school hours 34 WELLBEING: Kids in the garden 38 FAMILY HEALTH: Life on the autism spectrum
16 SPECIAL FEATURE: The ultimate kids’ party planner
41 WEB WRAP UP
18 CHECK THIS OUT: Let’s party!
42 BOOKS – APPS – MOVIES
EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS: Kerryn Anker, Christine Humphreys, Megan Blandford, James McManis, Jessica Jane Sammut, Cath Manuel, Dr Marnie Cumner COVER PHOTOGRAPHY: Verve Portraits Printed with vegetable/soy based inks on paper supplied using pulp sourced from sustainable forests and manufactured to environmentally accredited systems. WE ENCOURAGE RECYCLING. Please keep this issue for future reference, pass onto your friends and family, use for craft projects or place into the recycling bin.
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WHAT'S ON Visit ou r website to see more events!
DON'T MISS OUT ON ANY EVENTS! Sign up at www.kidsonthecoast.com.au or www.kidsonthecity.com.au for our weekly What’s On guide.
MARCH 9 TO 13 WORLD SCIENCE FESTIVAL BRISBANE
Across three huge weekends of Bleach*, hundreds of Gold Coast artists, along with a formidable team of renowned Australian and international artists, will present eight world premieres and a blockbuster line-up of easily accessible and mostly free events for children and adults. bleachfestival.com.au
EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY MIAMI MARKETTA Marketta street food market with authentic, traditional, global foods. Don’t miss the dessert hall, boutique beer plus wine and cocktail bar. You can also find fashion, arts, design and homewares. miamimarketta.com
MARCH 26 PURPLE DAY IN SUPPORT OF EPILEPSY purpleday.org
With a huge program of free and ticketed events, science is coming out of the lab and onto the streets with topics ranging from deep space to deep oceans, the search for alien life, madness and creativity, sports science and ethics, engineering, design, maths, physics, dinosaurs, robots, comets, genetics, science fiction, reality, and technologies of the future. worldsciencefestival.com.au
EVERY DAY Except Christmas Day and Anzac Day
BLINKY BILL & FRIENDS Join Blinky Bill for daily shows and enjoy amazing viewing experiences available at the wildlife hospital and hundreds of native Australian animals on display in natural bushland and rainforest settings. cws.org.au
This Earth Hour, s witch on your social powerto shine a light on climate action. earthhour.org Photo by © WWF Australia
MARCH 25 TO 28 AUSTRALIAN STREET ENTERTAINMENT CHAMPIONSHIPS
Step right up and experience the best the country has to offer with bull rides, saddle rides, bareback rides, whip cracking, kids entertainment, cattleman’s bar, live entertainment, food court and much more. eatonshillhotel.com.au/event/the-hills-annual-rodeo
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April is Autism Awareness month goblueforautism.com.au
MARCH 25 TO 28 HAPPY EASTER!
MARCH 29 TO APRIL 2 CONCERTO FOR HARMONY AND PRESTO
See both amateur and professional performers take to stages across Surfers Paradise, all vying for the crowd's attention. You can even join in the fun and vote for your favourite amateur act in the People's Choice Award. surfersparadise.com
APRIL 2 ‘GO BLUE FOR AUTISM’
Check out the hottest thing in kids’ parties. Celebrate a birthday or just come for fun! See live rock music, special effects, comedy, puppetry, dancing, interactive games and an amazing aerial circus! draculas.com.au
MARCH 19 EARTH HOUR
This is a story of two unlikely friends. One day Presto arrives, bringing with him an astonishing array of bits and bobs that threaten Harmony’s neat and ordered existence. Harmony sees a cart full of junk. Presto sees infinite possibilities – precious things that when put together just the right way can create extraordinary music! qpac.com.au
TOP 5: BEACHES APRIL 2 THE HILLS ANNUAL RODEO
EVERY SATURDAY DRAX 4 KIDS
Main Beach Surfers Paradise Mermaid Beach Currumbin Tweed Heads
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APRIL 17 SUNDAY SOUNDS AT SANCTUARY COVE Come and enjoy the laidback live music in a relaxed atmosphere under the marquee. While parents relax and enjoy the live entertainment, kids can enjoy an afternoon of free activities including face painting and the interactive jumping castle. www.sanctuarycove.com
* We publish information based on what is supplied to us - to the best of our knowledge all details are correct at the time of printing, however we do recommend you check event details with the organisers
MARCH 4 TO 20 BLEACH FESTIVAL FOR KIDS
Offering professional healthcare services for Women and Children in all stages of life and health
For bookings call 5568 6000 - Open 7 Days Located in the Eastbrooke Family Clinic 8/1 Santa Maria Court, Burleigh Waters E. gcwcc@eastbrookemedical.com.au www.goldcoastwcc.com
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2965 RBAY Safari School Holidays KOTC HP Ad.indd 2
26/02/16 12:02 PM
For Health Tips & Updates
#Gold Coast Women and Children’s Clinic
MAR/APR 2016
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SOCIAL
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Join us ... for daily conversation, insp iration and information. IT’S BEEN GIGGLES WHAT YOU'VE LOVED ON FACEBOOK AND TRUTH OVER It seems there were some posts we shared on ON INSTAGRAM! Facebook that you simply couldn’t get enough of!
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If you haven’t checked them out yet, do yourself a favour and get online now!
ON PINTEREST!
Party time Planning a party but wouldn’t have a clue where to start, what theme to go for, what party food to have or what games to play? We have plenty of #inspo on our Pinterest pages! www.pinterest.com/kidsonthecoast/ kids-birthday-parties
Oh, and we have loads of
How to make pineapple favour bags Source: thehousethatlarsbuilt.com
MAR/APR 2016
How to make pretzel bunnies and ducks Source: onelittleproject.com
How to make Easter carrot treat boxes Source: ellaclaireinspired.com
Easter ideas too! Check them out here: www.pinterest.com/kidsonthecoast/easter
JOIN US! 6
Lego party ideas Source: catchmyparty.com
Here are a few of our favs:
We want you to be part of our sisterhood! If you’re not part of our tribe of awesome mamas yet, make sure you come and say hello soon at www.facebook.com/kidsonthecoast or www.facebook.com/kidsinthecitymagazinebrisbane. We’d love you to be part of our community! #kotcsisterhood #kitcsisterhood kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
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MAR/APR 2016
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Stay up to date with your local community news. If you have any unique news that you’d like to share, please contact our editor at publications@mothergoosemedia.com.au
Whats news » Visit our website for more news
MUSIC TO THEIR EARS!
A host of local children have landed their dream roles in the upcoming production of The Sound of Music. A total of 18 rising stars from Brisbane, the Gold Coast and Sunshine Coast have been selected to appear as the six youngest von Trapp children when the hit musical comes to Brisbane’s QPAC Lyric theatre from March 11 to April 24. Three different casts for the roles of the children will alternate for the duration of the production’s run in Brisbane. Among those chosen to star in the musical include Stella Charrington (8) from Mount Gravatt, Nina Le Vesconte (11) from Brighton and Alyssa Myers (11) from Acacia Ridge. To book tickets visit www.qpac.com.au.
PAP SMEARS NO LONGER FREE Pap smears – they’re not the most enjoyable of examinations and now you will have to pay for them too. The government is set to cut its bulk-billing incentive payment scheme in July. This means patients will pay at least $30 for pap smears, along with other pathology tests such as urine tests, and diagnostic imaging services like ultrasounds. These tests help to detect cervical cancer and, as chief executive of Sonic Healthcare Dr Colin Goldschmidt points out, the costs may deter some women from having the test. “It creates a financial barrier to receiving medical services and it discriminates against those who can’t afford services,” he told the Sydney Morning Herald. “It creates an incentive for patients to miss important tests or scans that can lead to a misdiagnosis or a delayed diagnosis.”
DID YOU
KNOW MOST PEOPLE TAKE AN AVERAGE OF
7 MINUTES TO FALL ASLEEP
The Workshops Rail Museum will once again be offering one-hour trips through Brisbane, heritage style, with its Steam Train Sundays. Now in its seventh year, the steam train will depart from Roma Station on selected Sundays from early March to December. For more information visit theworkshops.qm.qld.gov.au.
TWO SETS OF TIGER CUBS FOR DREAMWORLD
Two female white tiger cubs have arrived safe and sound in their new home at Dreamworld from Japan’s Hirakawa Zoo. They join the zoo’s own two female tiger twins, also both girls, who were born at the theme park in November.
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The Eastbrooke Family Clinic in Burleigh Waters has a brand new women’s and children’s clinic. It offers services such as pregnancy planning and fertility assessments, antenatal and postnatal care and works closely with the Gold Coast University Hospital and Tweed Hospital. Its services for children includes newborn checks, assessing feeding concerns, allergies and food intolerances, and the management of chronic childhood illnesses and mental health concerns. The centre’s practice manager Ann Gray said, “Our staff understand the needs of mothers and children. We want them to feel comfortable in an inviting and friendly environment.” The clinic opens on March 7. For more information call 07 5568 6000, or see www.goldcoastwcc.com
READY STEADY GO KIDS COMES TO THE GOLD COAST
The cat is the only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible
ALL ABOARD FOR STEAM TRAIN SUNDAYS
NEW WOMEN’S AND CHILDREN’S CLINIC IN BURLEIGH WATERS
IT IS ILLEGAL TO SWEAR IN FRONT OF A DEAD PERSON IN UTAH THE GOLD COAST IS HOME TO AUSTRALIA’S LARGEST PROFESSIONAL LIFE GUARD SERVICE
THE GOLD COAST HAS
AROUND 12 MILLION
VISITORS A YEAR
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Ready Steady Go Kids, a children’s fitness program that helps promote a lifelong passion for sports and exercise, is now running on the Gold Coast. The program is designed by physios and each class introduces children to the fundamentals of 10 different sports and allows them to develop age-appropriate skills, while building key social skills such as sportsmanship and teamwork. The classes are designed for children from two-and-a-half to six years old and take place at Palm Beach and Tweed Heads from Tuesday through to Thursday and on Saturdays. For further information call 1300 766 892 or visit www.readysteadygokids.com.au
BID TO CONTROL SPREAD OF ZIKA VIRUS IN QUEENSLAND
Queensland Health authorities have begun spraying areas in a bid to control the spread of the Zika virus. As of February 29, nine cases of the Zika virus had been confirmed among people living in Queensland, one of whom is pregnant. Spraying has been carried out in Townsville and Rockhampton. The virus is spread by mosquitoes and has been linked to microcephaly, where babies are born with underdeveloped brains. Queensland Health says the disease is not known to be present in local mosquitoes. Queensland Health warns women who are pregnant or trying for a baby to consider avoiding travel to areas with current outbreaks of the disease. For more information see www.health.qld.gov.au
Kids Promotions and the Australian Broadcasting Corporation Present
www.abc.net.au/playschool
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WHERE THE CITY ENDS & a new country lifestyle begins
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Oakland Estate Features • Spanning 339 hectares and over 2000 home sites • Large blocks ranging from 595sqm to 1109sqm • Dedicated parklands with paths and bikeways • Shopping centre precinct • Family friendly Tavern with conference centre • Early learning care centre KIN G•S Independent aged care living facility LEY DR IVE • Catholic high school (opening 2017)
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Oakland Estate Location • Located in the heart of Beaudesert with existing community services • Located half way between Brisbane & Gold Coast • 35 minutes from the Gold Coast • 45 minutes from Brisbane • 6Km from the new Bromelton inland freight port
FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT US AT WWW.OAKLANDESTATE.COM.AU | 1300 625 526
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completeness of the information herein contained. Interested parties should satisfy themselves as to the accuracy, reliability, currency, or completeness of each description or reference. All information herein is subject to change without notice. © Robinson Projects 2014. Oakland Estate. Correct as at August 30 2014.
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[FEATURE]
From retirement to running after toddlers THE CHANGING ROLE OF GRANDPARENTS by KERRYN ANKER
IN THE EVOLVING PARENTAL LANDSCAPE OF THE 21ST CENTURY, THE SAYING THAT IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD COULDN’T BE MORE ACCURATE. Once seen as the storytellers of our family history and the open door lolly store meeting the needs of every grandchild’s sweet tooth, the traditional role of a grandparent has been redefined over the last 20 years, with Grandma and Grandad becoming the most popular form of informal care for children aged 12 years and under. According to the 2014 Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS) Childhood Education and Care Australia report, 836,000 Australian children aged 0–12 years were cared for by a grandparent for an average of 10 hours per week. A myriad of financial challenges, inflexibility of formal child care and societal expectations on parents are not the only driving factors pushing grandparents into the role of surrogate parent. Many grandparents also place a high importance on wanting to develop and nurture their relationship with their grandchildren. In the 20th century, the younger generation tended to undervalue the older generation, with grandparents typically not seen to be active contributors to everyday society. In the present day, research shows that grandparents are not only providing quality child care, but by providing free child care, they are reducing the everyday financial burden on their children who are saving on average $400 a month in child care costs. Griffith University School of Human Services and Social Work lecturer Dr Sandra Woodbridge says many Australian grandparents have a deep desire to form a close bond with their grandchildren, while at the same time providing a helping hand to their own children. With the change in family dynamics and the involvement grandparents now have in their grandchildren’s everyday lives, they have transitioned from observers to active participants in the development and growth of the younger generation.
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“Early literature from the 1960s states that a grandparent’s role was seen as being more symbolic – being kept at an arm’s length from their grandchildren. They were there to share the family history, be part of social activities and the fun times,” Dr Woodbridge says. “These days, in western culture, grandparents play a more instrumental role, providing support with the household budget, paying school fees and helping out with a grandchild’s daily activities. “With an ageing population in Australia, grandparents are also looking after their own parents, as well as helping their children and grandchildren.” Dr Woodbridge says her research shows that although there can be added pressure, expectations and stress on grandparents when taking on the child care duties of their grandchildren, there are many positives for all parties involved. After looking after children of their own, grandparents have confidence in their parenting ability and a clear understanding of what worked and didn’t work during their own parenting journey. Dr Woodbridge’s research also found that grandparents get a high level of satisfaction from spending quality time with their grandchildren. “Having another person playing an active role in a child’s life can be a very positive thing. They do become another role model for a child,” Dr Woodbridge says. She says for this type of arrangement to work there needs to be realistic expectations on both sides – from the grandparents and their children – on what their roles are, as well as what their involvement with the grandchildren will be.
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[FEATURE]
kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
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[FEATURE]
The role of a grandfather has also changed dramatically over the years. While grandmothers have always been seen as the cornerstone to a family, in the past, grandfathers were less involved than they are today. It’s not uncommon for grandfathers today to have a hands-on approach with their grandchildren, from taking them to swimming lessons to changing dirty nappies.
Valerie says grandparents can pass on a sense of wisdom and an unconditional love, playing a vital and influential role in a child’s life. On a personal level, Valerie’s own father played an active role in her daughter’s life. More than just a grandfather, he became a father figure and a role model, taking his granddaughter to swimming lessons as well as teaching her how to drive.
The child-rearing environment has dramatically changed over the years, causing some challenges and confusion for grandparents. Terms like ‘tiger mum’, ‘helicopter parent’ and ‘free-range parenting’ are foreign concepts to the older generation. Gone are the days of cloth nappies, sugar is now a big no-no and many childhood activities children participate in are now designed with a set curriculum that nurtures their individual skill set while contributing to their growth and development.
Gold Coast mum Shannan Walker says even before she had given birth to her son, Archer (2), her mother Missy Van Roon had offered to help out when needed. From the very early discussions, Shannan says she made sure her mother still had time to enjoy her retirement and that there was open and honest communication.
Relationships Australia relationship and family counsellor Valerie Holden says at a time when many retirees could be slowing down, they are instead accelerating at full speed, trying to keep up with their grandchildren. She says the old saying ‘I love being a grandparent – you can hand them back when you want’ may no longer be relevant. The traditional role of a stay-at-home mum is no longer the norm and in many relationships both parents have to work in order to pay the mortgage, household expenses and bills. “As grandparents, it is a good idea to sit down with your children and talk about what and how you are prepared to help them when they become parents. Look at your own needs and boundaries. What do you both think is a fair and manageable in your lifestyle?” Valerie says. “When children have loving, understanding grandparents, this adds a great dimension to their lives. But when these grandparents are also taking on a parental role, some of this can be lost. We move from the space of now and again fun and time at Grandma and Grandad’s to more structured and consistent time with more responsibility.” Valerie says the positives of children spending quality time with their grandparents are that they develop a deep respect for the older generation, as well as an appreciation for their family history. Who better to play the storyteller than the people who have lived through the tales that have shaped the foundations that the family unit is built upon.
Having another person playingan active role in a child's life can be a very positive thing. They do become another role model for a child. ~ Dr Woodbridge 12
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“I was on maternity leave for a year and always planned on going back to work fulltime. When I fell pregnant, mum had already retired and said she was happy to look after Archer two days a week so that I could return to work,” she says. “Archer has formed a great relationship with my mum and he just loves his time with nanny. Mum and I really work well together – she’s never pushed her thoughts onto me on how I should raise Archer. I think that is why it works so well.” Shannan says her arrangement with her mum is great because both parties are respectful of each other’s needs, in an endeavour to avoid any stress or tension. Missy says she cherishes the time she spends with her grandson and although some days are more exhausting than others, she wouldn’t have it any other way. “My kids didn’t have that close a relationship with my parents as we lived so far away from them. Because of this, I wanted to have a close relationship with my grandson,” she says. “I love the quality time I have with him and as much as I fit into his life, he also fits into my life. He’s very adaptable and comes along when I catch up with my friends and he enjoys playing with my friend’s children.” Missy says it’s a great arrangement for all involved, with Archer spending two days with her, one day with a family friend and two days in formal day care. Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) senior researcher Jennifer Baxter has conducted considerable research analysing the trends of child care and the role grandparents play in the upbringing of a child. Around three in ten Australian parents find it difficult to find care for a child at short notice as well as feel the financial pinch due to the cost of formal care. Jennifer’s research shows that the reason families call upon grandparents to help with their children varies from household to household, however noticeably, a common theme among grandparents is that they enjoyed building a relationship with their grandchildren as well as being actively involved in their lives. “Statistics show that younger children are more commonly looked after by a grandparent. This is mainly due to the flexibility that grandparent care provides a parent, and families really like the relationship side of it,” says Jennifer.
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[FEATURE]
I love the quality time I have with my grandson and the close relationship that we have. ~ Missy Van Roon
“It’s a special type of care for a child as it builds a strong bond between both grandparent and grandchild. This provision of care however is not always set in stone and there can be a flow-on effect to the parents if a grandparent falls ill and is unable to care for the children.” The AIFS Child care and early childhood education in Australia research findings show that grandparents are more likely to provide care for children under the age of two. During the 2011 survey period, around 63% of children aged 0–12 years of age spent one or two weekdays in the care of a grandparent. Jennifer says formal education becomes more important to parents as children get older. For some parents, grandparents continue to be the glue around other care arrangements, with them helping with school drop-off and after school care. “People these days are working all different hours and not working the typical 9–5,” she says. “It is common for grandparents to be called upon in this situation, as they provide the flexibility that formal day care may not.” Many grandparents who provide informal care for their grandchildren do so with no financial assistance. The Department of Education and Training state that the financial assistance provided to grandparents depends on the individual care situation. Under the government’s Jobs for Families Child Care Package currently being considered by parliament, grandparents who are primary carers of their grandchildren will have greater access to government subsidised child care benefits. Grandparents on income support who are primary carers of their grandchildren will receive a subsidy equal to 100% of their child care fees (up to 120% of the Child Care Subsidy hourly cap). These grandparents will not have to meet the Child Care Subsidy activity test and will be able to access up to 100 hours of subsidised approved child care per fortnight. Grandparent primary carers who are not on income support will also be exempt from the Child Care Subsidy activity test and will be eligible for up to 100 hours of subsidised approved child care each fortnight with the subsidy rate based on their family income. Whether being full-time carers or providing informal care, spending time with grandchildren is not only fulfilling for a grandparent, it is also believed to boost brainpower as well as help to prevent feelings of isolation, which can lead to depression. The Women’s Healthy Ageing Project carried out by the The University of Melbourne Department of Medicine found that grandparents who cared for their grandchildren one day a week may have a lower risk of developing Alzheimer’s. After observing the cognitive function of more than 186 women, researchers found that the grandmothers who care for a grandchild for at least one
GRANDPARENT SUPPORT GROUPS AND PLAYGROUPS 14
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day a week scored the highest on the tests, with faster cognitive speed and better memory. Researchers believe the regular social interaction had a positive effect on the senior’s mental health. However, they also found that grandparents who spent five or more days caring for grandchildren had lower cognitive performance. In 2011–2012, the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program (www.triplep-parenting.net.au) ran a controlled trial with 54 grandparents who provided regular care for their grandchildren. The program involved the refreshment of parenting strategies, tools on how to work together as a team as well as coping strategies for stress and other unhelpful emotions. University of Queensland Parenting and Family Support Centre clinical psychologist Dr James Kirby found that after the completion of the nine-week program, the 54 grandparents had more confidence in their ability to look after their grandchildren, had decreased levels of stress and had built a stronger relationship not only with their grandchildren, but also with their own children. Although the trial has been completed, grandparents are still encouraged to take part in the Australia-wide Triple P program, which is said to benefit all three generations involved – grandparents, their children and grandchildren. Playgroup Queensland has also recognised the valuable work of grandparents, recently opening their first playgroup for grandparents in Ascot, Brisbane. Already proving extremely popular, the playgroup was established to provide a welcoming place where grandparents could socialise with other grandparents and feel supported, while at the same time providing a safe and fun environment for their grandchildren to play with other children. Grandparents across the country play different and varied roles in their grandchildren’s lives. Although some grandparents are unable to participate actively in their grandchildren’s everyday lives due to location or family circumstances, research shows any involvement is influential and has long-term positive effects. For Missy Van Roon, retirement has been made that much sweeter by spending her free time with her grandson. “I always wanted to be a grandma and be a part of my grandchildren’s lives,” Missy says. “I love the quality time I have with my grandson and the close relationship that we have.”
For information on grandparent support groups in Queensland, visit Grandparents Information www.grandparentsqld.com.au/program/grandparent-support-groups To find out if there is a playgroup for grandparents in your area, visit Playgroup Queensland www.playgroupqueensland.com.au
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15
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12
IT'S OUR
TH
BIRTHDAY!
To celebrate we’ve found some great products that you can win to help spread the birthday cheer. Check these out over the page and visit our website to enter.
16
MAR/APR 2016
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[SPECIAL FEATURE]
THE ULTIMATE
KIDS’ PARTY PLANNER by CHRISTINE HUMPHREYS
PARTY DAY IS GREAT FUN FOR THE PARTY KIDS…BUT PARTY PLANNING CAN BE A WHOLE LOT OF FUN DAYS FOR YOU. WHETHER YOU ARE AN EVENT PLANNING GODDESS OR WOULD PREFER TO RUN A MARATHON THAN A PARTY, OUR COMPLETE PARTY COUNTDOWN TIMELINE AND CHECKLIST IS FOR YOU.
Let the countdown begin! 4 TO 8
WEEKS OUT
PICK A DATE AND TIME Younger kids often handle a morning party better and this tires them out for an afternoon nap! School-age children can power through afternoon parties, which leaves the morning free for last-minute party planning or regular weekend sporting events. Consider a midweek party if you don’t want to impede on family time.
DECIDE ON THE VENUE If you choose a dedicated children’s party venue select and reserve this now as they do book up fast. If you are hosting an outdoor party, have a back-up plan in case of bad weather.
BOOK THE ENTERTAINMENT Face painters, clowns, party planners, photographer; the choices are endless – book early to avoid disappointment. If you have a talented friend, enlist their help now!
CREATE THE GUEST LIST
DECIDE ON INVITATIONS
Deciding who to invite can be fraught with difficulties. Will you invite both family and friends or just school/daycare friends? To keep it simple, a great idea is to invite one friend per year of age, e.g. 6 kids to a 6th birthday party.
Decide whether to make your own invitations, buy printed invitations or order personalised invitations. See www.etsy.com for great digital options.
CHOOSE A THEME If you are partying at home your theme options are endless so let your child’s imagination do the work for you. If you are partying at a venue, most will have a range of themes for you to consider.
kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
MAR/APR 2016
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DONUT PARTY
These fun donut party plates, cups and napkins by We Love Sundays will brighten up any party table. Complete your party theme with matching treat bags to fill with colourful goodies for your guests to take home. Pick up a few of these yummy, high quality sets from online stockists including www.larkstore.com.au and www.hipandhooray.com.au or at Mama’s Home in Brisbane (www.mamashome.com.au).
2 TO 3 WEEKS OUT SEND INVITATIONS Whether you e-invite guests or send out handwritten invitations do this now. Ensure you have a RSVP date on there around four days prior to the party. This gives you enough time to chase up any guests who haven’t RSVP’d. Keep a guest list near the phone to track the RSVPs as they come in.
SELECT ACTIVITIES/ GAMES AND ASSEMBLE PRIZES This can be so much fun! Enlist your child’s help and do practice runs of the games. Decide on the order of activities and make a timeline for the day. Enlist the assistance of a reliable adult to help run the games.
DECIDE ON PARTY FAVOURS AND DECORATIONS Party bags, a specific gift to suit the theme or a lolly bag to fill under the piñata? Decide and start preparing these now. Decorations can be as simple as a string of balloons or you can go all out to match in with the theme.
PLAN THE CAKE It is time to place your order or if you are baking the birthday cake yourself start planning the ingredients and decorations you will need. You may want to follow your party theme here or just bake your child’s favourite flavour.
PLAN THE FOOD The type of party food will depend on the guest numbers and time of day your party is held. For an after school party, a selection or fruit, popcorn and small cakes is all you need. For a lunchtime party, you will need something more substantial. Also consider some options for common food intolerances and an adult’s only platter.
18
MAR/APR 2016
PIRATE
1 WEEK OUT WRITE YOUR SHOPPING LIST
BALLERINA
Make a list and check it twice! Include food, party favours, cutlery, decorations, candles for the cake and something to light it with! Of course, in all this planning, don’t forget a present for your child if it is a birthday party.
ASSEMBLE PARTY BAGS/FAVOURS
PRINCESS
This can be done at any time but you can finalise the number once you have your RSVPs. Always make a couple extra for those who just turn up on the day!
PARTY PREP Tidy and prepare the party area. If you are outside, ensure you have a shaded area and chairs set up. You might want to ask parents to BYO chairs.
SUPERHERO
GET COOKING Collect your cake if you have ordered it or start baking! Start preparing your party food or order takeaway (such as pizza or sushi) if necessary.
MANNERS Discuss party expectations with your child and practice saying ‘thank you’ with younger kids.
kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
THEMED CRAFT PARTY PACKS
Don’t be daunted by the thought of entertaining all the kids when hosting your next birthday party. PeekyMe has come up with some fabulous themed craft activities to keep those little creative minds ticking for hours. Best of all, you can mix and match between the themes – ballerina, princess, pirate and superhero – to suit everyone’s tastes. Select a minimum of 8 packs for $9 each from www.peekyme.com.au.
VINTAGE PAPERBOY 1ST BIRTHDAY OUTFIT
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Is there a little man in your life with a dose of old-time charm? This super soft authentic wool look set in grey and mint is the perfect way to showcase your little guy at his 1st birthday party or an upcoming cake smash photo shoot. The four-piece set created from high-quality fabrics includes a lined newsboy style hat with hidden elastic in the back for a snug fit (and allows for growth), a bow tie with adjustable neck strap for ease of use, adjustable elastic suspenders and a nappy cover with elastic at the waist and thighs. You’ll find this cute set and many others made by Sonia at BuBBling Boutique at www.etsy.com/au/shop/ BuBBlingBoutique or www.bubblingboutique.com.au.
DOWNLOAD OUR
PARTY GUIDE & CHECKLIST www.kidsonthecoast.com.au www.kidsinthecity.com.au
- on the coast
- in the city
THE ULTIMATENER KIDS’ PARTY PLAN
by Christine Humphreys OF FUN DAYS FOR BE A WHOLE LOT A PLANNING CAN A MARATHON THAN KIDS…BUT PARTY PREFER TO RUN YOU. FUN FOR THE PARTY GODDESS OR WOULD CHECKLIST IS FOR PARTY DAY IS GREAT ARE AN EVENT PLANNING WN TIMELINE AND YOU E PARTY COUNTDO YOU. WHETHER PARTY, OUR COMPLET
4 TO 8 WEEKS OUT
Let the countdown begin
1 DAY AHEAD
to the around four days prior a RSVP date on there up any enough time to chase party. This gives you list near RSVP’d. Keep a guest guests who haven’t come in. the RSVPs as they the phone to track
TIME PICK A DATE AND better handle a morning party Younger kids often nap! Schoolout for an afternoon and this tires them parties, through afternoon age children can power party free for last-minute which leaves the morning events. weekend sporting planning or regular to party if you don’t want Consider a midweek impede on family time. VENUE DECIDE ON THE children’s party venue If you choose a dedicated book up fast. this now as they do select and reserve a back-up outdoor party, have If you are hosting an weather. plan in case of bad LIST CREATE THE GUEST can be fraught with Deciding who to invite friends invite both family and difficulties. Will you simple, friends? To keep it or just school/daycare year of age, per friend one a great idea is to invite birthday party. e.g. 6 kids to a 6th
PARTY CH ECKLIST - on the coast
- in the city
PARTY PREP outside, party area. If you are Tidy and prepare the set up. shaded area and chairs ensure you have a parents to BYO chairs. You might want to ask
/GAMES SELECT ACTIVITIES PRIZES AND ASSEMBLE help and fun! Enlist your child’s This can be so much on the order the games. Decide do practice runs of Enlist the a timeline for the day. of activities and make games. adult to help run the assistance of a reliable
GET COOKING or start you have ordered it Collect your cake if order your party food or baking! Start preparing pizza or sushi) if necessary. takeaway (such as
FAVOURS AND DECIDE ON PARTY DECORATIONS or a gift to suit the theme MANNERS Party bags, a specific and start with your child and the piñata? Decide 4 – Discuss party expectations 8 weeks lolly bag to fill under as simple out with younger kids. Decorations can be saying ‘thank you’ o Pick a preparing these now. to match practice date or you can go all out as a string of balloons
WHEN
TASK
and time o Decide on the o Wet weathe venue r alternative o Guest list o Theme o Book ARRIVE GUESTS entertainment 4–5 HOURS BEFORE and put out the activities/crafts o Order Set the table, lay out your to your mailboxorsomake Invitati ons decorations. Tie balloons 2 lighter PLAN THE FOOD guest– 3 weeks out Have the candle and will depend on the home is easy to find. a large garbage The type of party food to have held. For forgeto Send invitations of day your party is ready to go. Don’t CHOOSE A THEME options are numbers and time paper. popcorn wrapping at home your theme o Decide a selection or fruit, bag on hand for the If you are partying do the work an after school party, on party games lunchtime child’s imagination all you need. For a endless so let your /activities o Assem and small cakes is at a venue, most will 1 HOUR TO GO place safeprizes something more substantial. for you. If you are partying them to a quiet,ble and prepar party, you will need food If you have a pet take o Decide for you to consider. e the games options for common have a range of themes so your furry friend ondoesn’t party favour Also consider some until the party is over s and decora adult’s only platter. o MENT intolerances and an tions become overwhelmed. Order or start plannin BOOK THE ENTERTAIN party planners, g clowns, the on! o painters, cake Face Prepare food – book early Get your party gear PARTY BAG choices are endless cake. menu photographer; the 1 week out Put the food out and candles on the IDEAS t. If you have a talented 1 to avoid disappointmen • pencils now! o Write shopp WEEK TIME TO PARTY friend, enlist their help • mini notepa ing list OUT with your child. ds S Greet each guest o Assem and • matchb time pick-up DECIDE ON INVITATION own invitations, buy ble off, confirm party bags/f ox cars make your If parents are dropping avours/decor o Collate • mini puzzles Decide whether to contact numbers. invitations. ations LIST order personalised ensure you have emergency RSVPs printed invitations or to get WRITE YOUR SHOPPING Include • stickers party remember options. food, 1 and day digital take photos out for great it twice! Enlist another adult to See www.etsy.com cake. Make a list and check • colourin candles for the cake party child and their special otheTidy g book a family photo with house favours, cutlery, decorations, Of course, in all this to plan, and goset • don’t with! playdou it things light if to up gh day! Even and something if it is Enjoy this fun o Get cookin your children party area • toothbr a present for your child 2 TO 3 thing is that you andg and finish ush planning, don’t forget the importanto or collect the Prepare your • hair clips WEEKS cake a birthday party. have a good day. child & bands OUT The URS • paint set day of! BAGS/FAVO write ASSEMBLE PARTY finalise the THE up! Help your child any time but you can o Tidy Decora AFTER This can be done at notes to party guests. make a MATH thank you te and set your RSVPs. Always up activities S number once you have o Lay out SEND INVITATION just turn up on the day! the food and guests or send out extra for those who Whether you e-invite put candles you have couple o Take your do this now. Ensure on the cake pet to a safe city.com.au handwritten invitations OR www.kidsinthe place o Get your @ www.kidsonthecoast.com.au party PRINTABLES AND clothes on FIND ACTIVITES During the party o Be the ‘Hostess with the Mostes o Tick off s’! your checkl ist o Get emerg ency contac t numbers o Take photos for parents if they are droppi o Enjoy! ng off o Hand out party bags Afterwards o Help your child write thank you notes to party guests in with the theme.
PLAN THE CAKE baking the order or if you are It is time to place your start planning the ingredients birthday cake yourself want to will need. You may and decorations you here or just bake your follow your party theme child’s favourite flavour.
DAY OF THE PARTY
10
LOLLY-FREE
CRAFT SUBSCRIPTION BOXES
Children will love receiving their very own PeekyMe box each month delivered to their door containing craft activities that cultivate creativity and encourage wonder through learning and curiosity. Each box contains four unique craft activities with child friendly instructions and all the materials required to complete each craft activity. The end result will be hours of entertainment while learning, assembling and designing a mini masterpiece to be used however their imagination chooses. Choose from monthly subscriptions for only $24.95 per month including delivery (billed monthly, cancel anytime) or annual subscriptions for $275 which includes one month free. Gift subscriptions are also available for one, three, six or 12 months, which can be sent directly to the recipient or via an e-gift card. Make your selection at www.peekyme.com.au.
FIND ACTIVI
TES AND
PRINTABLES
@ www.kid sonthecoast.com .au
OR www.kid sinthecity.com.a u
PARTY FOOD Fairy bread Sausage rolls Vanilla cupcakes Mini hot dogs Rumballs Caramel fudge Chocolate crackles Pizza scrolls Chocolate freckles Chicken drumsticks Mini pizzas Banana pikelets Honey joys Tic Toc teacups Chocolate mousse cups Mars Bar slice Frog in a pond Cake pops Coconut ice Teddy bear race cars Scones with jam & cream
healthier ideas
PIÑATAS & PAPIER-MÂCHÉ FIGURES
Add an extra special touch to your child’s next birthday party with an original piñata or papiermâché figure handcrafted by Lyn and Jan from The Paper Tarts on the Sunshine Coast since 2000. See the range currently available at facebook.com/ thepapertarts. Place an order for your very own custom-made piñata or papier-mâché figure by email at thepapertarts@gmail.com.
kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
Bliss balls Veggie sticks with dip Vegemite and cheese scrolls Chicken, zucchini and quinoa nuggets Pita bread chips Brown rice sushi rolls Corn, tomato and spinach muffins Fruit kebabs with yoghurt dip Zucchini slice Chicken salad rice paper rolls Fruit salad with passionfruit syrup Homemade pita chips Beetroot dip Carrot and quinoa cake Three ingredient muesli balls Wholemeal egg and lettuce sandwiches Apple cars Yoghurt cups Celery sticks with peanut butter dip Chicken and vegetable sausage rolls Pita bread pizzas
MAR/APR 2016
19
[SPECIAL FEATURE]
LOLLY-FREE
PARTY
BAG
Enjoy this day with your child.
DAY OF THE PARTY 4–5 HOURS BEFORE GUESTS ARRIVE Set the table, lay out activities/crafts and put out the decorations. Tie balloons to your mailbox so your home is easy to find. Have the candles and lighter ready to go. Don’t forget to have a large garbage bag on hand for the wrapping paper.
1 HOUR TO GO If you have a pet take them to a quiet, safe place until the party is over so your furry friend doesn’t become overwhelmed. Get your party gear on! Put the food out and candles on the cake.
IDEAS FROM MUMS AROUND THE WEB...
TIME TO PARTY Greet each guest with your child. If parents are dropping off, confirm pickup time and ensure you have emergency contact numbers. Enlist another adult to take photos and remember to get a family photo with the party child and their special cake. Enjoy this fun day! Even if things don’t go to plan, the important thing is that you and your children have a good day.
THE AFTER MATH
• Pencils • Mini notepads • Matchbox cars • Mini puzzles • Stickers • Colouring book • Playdough • Toothbrush • Hair clips & bands • Paint set
TRY THESE
PARTY GAMES
• Dog and bone • Who am i? • Sleeping lions, or tigers, rabbits, elephants, etc • Sticky monkey • Balloon rockets • Round the broomstick • 'Magic' photographer
TIDY UP! Help your child write thank you notes to party guests.
- on the coast
- in the city
kids
VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR THE CHANCE TO WIN GREAT PRIZES!
www.kidsonthecoast.com.au or www.kidsinthecity.com.au 20
MAR/APR 2016
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DOWNLOAD OUR PARTY GUIDE for party game instructions www.kidsonthecoast.com.au www.kidsinthecity.com.au
* MARCH 2015 *
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ALL THE DELICIOUS DISCOUNTS. Save 15% on food and drinks.
Entry to 2 Screamworld night events Food and beverage discounts 10% Off Wildlife Experiences
At Dreamworld, you can get all the splashes, screams, scoops, and super-cute tiger cubs, all in one place. And with a new Dreamworld Membership from just $10* a month, you can get all this plus heaps of member-only benefits! Enjoy entry to 2 x Screamworld night events, discounts on food and drinks, savings on over 30 retail shops and much much more. And of course you get unlimited entry to Dreamworld, WhiteWater World and SkyPoint Observation Deck.
With 15% off at a huge range of food and drink outlets at Dreamworld, WhiteWater World and SkyPoint, you can enjoy a park full of yummy options. • Make a pit stop and save on burgers at Grid Burgers & Sports Bar. • Chill out with a great coffee at Green Bean Coffee Co. • Design your own deliciously discounted sandwich at the Sandwich Shop. And that’s just a taste, with heaps of other outlets offering 15% off!
50% off entry for friends on your birthday Retail discounts Free Ice cream on your birthday Skypoint Climb discounts And heaps more!
ALL THE SCREAMS AFTER DARK. Entry to 2 Screamworld night events. With a Dreamworld Membership, there’s more fun to be had when the sun goes down! Become a member and you can get entry to 2 x Screamworld night events.
BECOME A DREAMWORLD MEMBER TODAY. With a full range of ticket and membership options to choose from, there’s something for everyone and heaps of fun to be had! With great value for the whole family, you can get all the happiness, all in one place, all from just $10* a month.
JOIN AT DREAMWORLD.COM.AU kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
*Child price, Happiness Member. Min Cost $120 on a 12-month plan. Memberships available for purchase online only. Booking fee applies. Terms and conditions apply visit www.Dreamworld.com.au/memberships
MAR/APR 2016
21
[BABIES]
“Dear Baby, it’s me, Mum”
by MEGAN BLANDFORD
THE CHILDHOOD YEARS OF OUR OFFSPRING GO FAST – REALLY FAST. AND, AS WE GET CAUGHT UP IN THE DAY-TO-DAY HAMSTER WHEEL OF NECESSARY TASKS, IT’S EASY FOR THAT TIME TO WHIZ BY IN A BLUR. Ask any parent of older or grown-up children what life was like when their kids were little and you’ll usually get a vague response. It might be a feeling – “Those were the happiest days of my life” they’ll recall, as those who have just had ten sleepless nights in a row begin to understand just how much those parents have forgotten – or a series of big events that are easily recalled, like a baby who suffered colic or a family holiday that was taken. To help jog their memory, the parent in question might pull out a baby book. While baby books have been around forever, marking the dates of the milestones such as your little one’s first steps, first word and first tooth, parents are now finding new ways to record memories. This is, perhaps, due to a realisation that the big things are great, but the little moments that fade away into oblivion are really some of the best treasures. And so, creative ideas are emerging for ways to record those little things – the way your little one says a word, how they need to cuddle a specific toy to fall asleep every night or the way you feel at a certain point in their life. Some of these methods are simple ways of recording the memories, while others are more of a communication tool to speak with your child in their future years. Then, when they’re older and ask what life was like when they were little, they receive more than a vague reply; they receive a sort of letter to themselves in some form or other. As though you’ve been saying to them since the early days: “Dear baby, it's me, Mum.” …
22
MAR/APR 2016
BIRTHDAY LETTERS While it can be hard to keep up with the idea of writing down memories or letters to your child’s future self all the time, doing so once a year is really achievable. And what better time to reflect on your child than on their birthday? With another year of life behind them and a new stage ahead, it’s possible that you already feel a little reflective and perhaps a mixture of sad and excited at the things that have passed and the things that are to come, so why not put pen to paper. Each year, mum of two Danielle writes a letter to each of her children on their birthday. “It’s a chance to look back over the year and reflect on how far they’ve come,” she says. “And when they’re older they’ll get a really good idea of what they were like as children.” This is, perhaps, the ultimate way to speak to your child’s future self, and could result in some very powerful memories being recorded. If you’re considering this idea but you’re not sure where to start with your letters, ask yourself these questions: What is your favourite memory of your child over the last year? What does your child love doing? What do they dislike? How are you feeling about the person they are becoming? Think back to last year and write about the differences that a year has made to them. What are you excited about for your child over the coming year?
kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
[BABIES]
ALL THAT ARTWORK Kids love creating new things, and as parents we love seeing their creations. The things your child is drawing, painting, writing or making give you little insights into what is going through their minds, how they interpret the world and the things they are experiencing at that stage of their life. The only problem is, there’s so much of it! And where on earth can you possibly store it all?
WHILE BABY BOOKS HAVE BEEN AROUND FOREVER, MARKING THE DATES OF THE MILESTONES SUCH AS YOUR LITTLE ONE’S FIRST STEPS, FIRST WORD AND FIRST TOOTH, PARENTS ARE NOW FINDING NEW WAYS TO RECORD MEMORIES.
Kelly says she’s come up with a solution that works for her, which saves space while also allowing her to keep those memories alive. “I struggle to keep up with all the precious artworks, awards, stories and creations from kindy and school, because every week we seemed to have another piece of something come home that I need to store for each of the kids,” she says. “I have folders and boxes overflowing with 'stuff'. So I began taking photos of each piece individually and compiling them into photo books, one for each child for each year of school. It’s kind of like a virtual scrapbook.” This is another way to keep hold of those important memories, and you needn’t throw out everything, but instead choose some of your favourites or things that are special to your child to keep forever.
QUESTION TIME Your child probably asks lots and lots of questions of you, and it could be time for a little revenge. This is your chance to flip the roles of questioner and replier on their heads and be the quiz master yourself, if only for a short period of time. Mum of three Amy says she asks each of her children an annual series of questions on their birthday. “I ask them the same 20 questions each year,” she says, “which include things like their favourite food, best friend and favourite sport.” Comparing the answers each year will not only give you a little more knowledge of just how much your child has grown up, but it will also give them a snapshot of their lives to look back on. If this idea appeals to you, consider the questions you’d like to ask that will be meaningful as your child grows older. These can range from big things like their favourite hobby to questions that might gather some funny or insightful responses, such as how they would describe themselves at this moment.
KEEP A RECIPE BOOK There’s nothing that triggers memories quite like food, and mum of one Linda has a great idea for helping her daughter one day recall the tastes of her childhood. “I keep a recipe book of all my daughter’s favourite foods at different ages,” she says. “I think there’ll be something comforting about cooking her favourite childhood dishes when she’s older, and it might take her back in time a bit.” To recreate this idea, use either a folder with plastic sleeves to put in printed out recipes or a dedicated book to write them in – after all, seeing your handwritten details of the foods they loved during childhood could be special to your child one day, too. Then set a reminder for yourself to add to the book every so often: adding to the book even three or four times a year will give them a great collection of favourites to look back on.
kidsonthecoast.com.au | kidsinthecity.com.au
MAR/APR 2016
23
[BABIES]
THE POWER OF SOCIAL MEDIA
BLOGS AND EMAILS
Some parents use their Facebook accounts to help remember the little things their children are doing or saying. Mum of three Kelly explains, “My kids are always saying funny things and then when I’d go to recount the story to my husband, I would always forget something or lose something in translation. So I started recording the comments as Facebook statuses, so I could remember them later on.”
Blogging is a current big thing when we think of ways to record memories and tell stories, and there are thousands of parents doing just that. Some keep their blogs open for anyone to read and others set them to private for just their family, and this simply comes down to what details you’re sharing and what you feel comfortable with.
This idea has grown as Kelly realised she could utilise this record even further. “I can download the log from Facebook and record these quirky comments in a book that I bought called My Quotable Kid. I can now easily keep track of what the kids said and when they said it, working out how old they were based on the date I posted it on Facebook.” Mum of three Lucy has taken the idea of utilising social media for memories to a whole other level. She has started an account for each of her children and writes status updates based on the things her kids are doing. “I’ve tagged a gazillion photos of them, with status updates of stuff we've done or that they've enjoyed,” she says, adding that she likes how Facebook helps her record these moments chronologically. The kids will be given the passwords for their Facebook accounts when they are old enough, and it’s safe to say they’ll receive the surprise of their life when that time comes. Pages upon pages of memories, as well as details of their lives that they won’t even remember, will come flooding back to them. If you like the idea of recording your child’s life on social media, consider privacy as a priority. Set the privacy settings to high, and remember that technology like Facebook won’t be around forever so think about having a back up for all those special moments as well.
If you want to keep a blog of your child’s life or of your life as a parent, you can start with a free platform like blogger.com or wordpress.com. From there, it’s as easy as just starting to write stories or details of moments that you want to remember or would like your child to read one day. Other bloggers incorporate photos and sometimes use a challenge such as ‘Photo A Day’ (fatmumslim.com.au) or taking one photo a week of your child. Another way to use technology to communicate with your child’s future self is via email: a creative way to have one-sided conversations that they might just reply to one day. Amy has set up an email address for each of her children and sends them regular correspondence as she feels drawn to speaking with them. “I sporadically send them emails,” she says, adding that she does this both at times that are significant in their lives and times that are more ordinary. “One day they’ll open their inbox and see a lot of love and memories from their mum.”
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STOP IT! RESPONDING TO ANGRY AND AGGRESSIVE CHILDREN by JAMES MCMANIS BA PSYCH. (HONS). ASSOC. MAPS
RESPONDING TO A CHILD’S EMOTIONS IS STANDARD FARE FOR PARENTS, HOWEVER, ANGER IS THE ONE THAT POSES THE GREATEST CHALLENGE. MOSTLY, A CHILD’S ANGER IS PRETTY TYPICAL FRUSTRATION AND HANDLED WITH LITTLE DISRUPTION TO A FAMILY. TYPICAL ANGER IS A NATURAL AND HEALTHY ASPECT OF THE HUMAN CONDITION. TYPICAL ANGER HELPS US ASSERT OURSELVES, CHALLENGE OURSELVES AND PROTECT THOSE WE CARE ABOUT. TYPICAL ANGER DROVE THE CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT AND WOMEN’S SUFFRAGE. WHEN ANGER BECOMES A PROBLEM
MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT ANGER
Anger is a basic human emotion that ranges from mild annoyance through to intense rage. Anger is culturally universal in presentation, resulting in an increase in heart rate and blood pressure as a biological means to respond quickly to a threat. Today, anger remains common to the human race and is thought to have a genetic basis.
It is important to identify a number of common misconceptions about problem anger.
Problems arise when anger and tantrums interfere with daily life on a regular basis. This can be because the anger is very frequent or the anger is severe and harmful. These interferences may be minor or they may be major; either way, the regular interference is a sign that something requires addressing.
WHEN ANGER BECOMES PROBLEMATIC IS THE TIME WHEN MOST PARENTS FEEL THE NEED TO SEEK HELP.
• All anger is bad The emotion of anger drives many great human feats. Only 10% of typical anger leads to problem anger/aggression. • Aggressive children are just naughty and need to be punished Boundaries are essential, as are rules and consequences, but punishment is not effective for long-term behaviour change. • Anger is inherited There is considered to be a genetic component to anger, however family environment and modelling from adults and media has a significant effect on problem anger/aggression. • Angry children turn into angry adults This is not true. Most problem anger is a cover up for a skills deficiency in an effort to meet a need. Address the skill deficiency/need and the problem anger will dissipate. • Angry children just want attention Problem anger is a child’s solution to a problem they don’t have a better solution for. Attention and social interaction is one need we have as human beings, but there are others. We will discuss the functional approach to behaviour change when we talk about the ‘function’ of a behaviour.
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THE EFFECT OF PROBLEM ANGER ON A FAMILY Misconceptions get in the way of clear solutions, as does the effect of stress and guilt that comes over a household when a child has a problem anger issue. It is common for parents of a child with problem anger to feel frustration, even resentment, guilt, sadness, stress, anxiety and even have panic attacks. A family starts to revolve around the person with the anger problem, which can lead the whole family toward isolation, fear and resentment.
CAUSES OF PROBLEM ANGER AT THE CORE OF BEHAVIOURAL PSYCHOLOGY IS THE NOTION THAT ALL HUMAN BEHAVIOUR HAS A HUMAN NEED DRIVING IT. IN OTHER WORDS, EVERY BEHAVIOUR MEETS A NEED, EVEN PROBLEM ANGER. Here is a brief dialogue as an example: Teacher: Okay, class, books out. Today we are going to do algebra. I have on the board a range of questions for you to complete before you go out to lunch. I need you to tell me what X equals in each case. Note: Little Johnny has a bit of a processing delay, not a big one, and is in all other respects quite smart. This just means it takes him a little longer to process instructions and what is said to him, but no one has picked this up yet. Little Johnny: I’m not doing it. This is rubbish! Note: Little Johnny finds it easier to get into trouble and get sent out of class than reveal to the class that he actually missed the teacher’s instructions due to his processing delay. He thinks it is better to look ‘cool’ than to look ‘dumb’. Teacher: Johnny, this is your first warning. Little Johnny: No way! (and Little Johnny storms out of class) Note: Little Johnny’s anxiety drops now as he has avoided the situation that would leave him looking dumb in front of the whole class. Now, everyone still tells him he is smart and has a lot of potential if only he would behave. Much better than everyone knowing he is dumb … at least that is what Little Johnny thinks. All everyone sees is Little Johnny’s anger. This is why we need to investigate what the function of the behaviour is, but how is this done? Basically, we are looking for patterns in behaviour.
If the behaviour we are trying to understand is problem anger, we need to do the following: • Define the behaviour – What does problem anger look like? We need to come up with a description of problem anger such that someone straight off the street could identify the behaviour if they saw it using only our description. This is important for parents, because it means everyone is looking at the same behaviour. • Measure the behaviour – How often does it happen? Where? When? Who is there? And what was occurring immediately before the problem anger and how was it responded to? Every time problem anger occurs, all of this information needs to be recorded. This is because you are looking for patterns. Is it a time of day? A task? A location? Or a person that sets off the problem anger. This process is beginning to give us hints about the function the behaviour serves. • Have a conversation with your child – Seek to understand what is going on for them. This is not giving a lecture; this is about listening. We want to invite the child to identify ‘why’ they escalate to problem anger, to share what goes on for them. This can expedite much of this process and can go a long way to calming things down.
FUNCTIONS OF BEHAVIOUR FOR A CHILD ARE MUCH THE SAME AS FOR AN ADULT. THEY HAVE NEEDS, WANTS AND DRIVES: HUNGER, THIRST, FATIGUE, FEAR, DESIRE FOR THINGS, AND THE TENDENCY TO AVOID THINGS THAT ARE SCARY OR AT WHICH WE FEAR FAILURE. As we saw with Little Johnny, getting into trouble can be preferable to failure. So, to change the problem anger that Little Johnny acts out in class we need to address his processing delay so that he understands the teacher's instructions and has a chance at being successful in class.
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STRATEGIES TO MANAGE PROBLEM ANGER Once we have an idea of what need/function is driving the problem anger, we then need to implement some strategies to make a change. There are many strategies available to address problem anger.
THE RIGHT STRATEGY IS THE ONE THAT ADDRESSES THE UNDERLYING NEED/FUNCTION THAT IS DRIVING THE BEHAVIOUR. Sometimes identifying this strategy is straightforward and sometimes parents will require support and professional assistance to identify and implement the strategy. Nevertheless, we will go through a few basic strategies, and finish with some counterintuitive approaches. House Rules • It is important to clarify expectations. Have clear house rules that focus on the primary behaviours you want to change. • Have no more than three house rules, otherwise people won’t remember them. • Write the rules in the positive. ‘No running in the house’ does not tell someone what they are supposed to do. ‘We walk through the house’ makes it very clear what the expectation is. • Write up what occurs if the rules are broken, for example: If someone runs in the house, there will be one warning. If the running continues then they will have to sit out (time out) for five minutes to calm everything down. Once they are calm, we will have a chat about expectations, work out how to ‘fix’ or ‘make amends’ for a situation, and move on. Once we move on this incident won’t be raised again. • The purpose of house rules is the notion that nothing happens until everyone is calm. Then issues can be dealt with, fixed and let go. This is a teaching exercise primarily. Reward Strategies • Ensure you reward positive behaviours. It is almost impossible to effectively reward behaviour that results in a ‘do not’ or ‘no’ statement. It is much easier and much more effective to reward success. For example, receive a tick each time you use please or thank you, and 10 ticks equals… • Reward the strategies that develop the skills that will assist the child to meet the function/need under the problem anger, but in a healthier way that reduces the child’s need to use problem anger. • Remember to engineer success. Reward strategies have to be achievable. In the beginning, a reward should be able to be achieved with little effort from a child so they experience the joy of the success. From here, achieving the reward can be made progressively more challenging.
GETTING HELP For long-term help, talk to your GP and discuss a referral to a paediatrician, psychologist or child psychiatrist. It is important to understand that if you are afraid or being assaulted – even if it is your own child – you need to seek help. Help for children: Kids Helpline Contact: 1800 55 1800 (24hrs) Help for parents in crisis: Lifeline Contact: 13 11 14 (24hrs) Parentline Contact: 1300 30 1300 (8am–10pm)
Punishment • This is ineffective in the long term. In society we are taught punishment is the right way to respond to ‘bad behaviour’. Yet punishment of a child is more likely to be a product of a parent expressing their own frustration on a child, not trying to teach them a different way of handling a particular situation. • For children with problem anger, punishment generally results in greater anger. • When you smack a child you’re showing them that it’s okay to hit someone who isn’t doing what you want them to be doing. Be aware of what you are teaching with your actions. Relationship • The second goal, aside from managing problem anger, is to repair family discord with conversation and connection. Talk to each other – as a family and as a parent team.
REGULAR DISRUPTION TO DAY-TO-DAY LIFE MEANS IT IS TIME TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO MANAGE THE ANGER.
James McManis is a volunteer lifesaver, pilot and psychologist at All Abilities Child & Family Therapy Centre in Noosa and Gympie. All Abilities is a multidisciplinary clinic offering in-house psychology and occupational therapy, working with children and adolescents as well as their families/ carers to develop skills and facilitate positive change. All Abilities believes that all clients' needs are unique and individually important, and is committed to meeting those needs by offering individual programs tailored to individual needs. For more information visit www.allabilities.com.au
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[EDUCATION]
MODERNISING SCHOOL HOURS the great debate by JESSICA JANE SAMMUT
THE SCHOOL DAY IS INCONGRUENT TO THE TRADITIONAL WORKING DAY, BUT WHAT CAN BE DONE? SHOULD THE SCHOOL DAY BE LENGTHENED AND IS IT TIME THE SCHOOL SYSTEM WAS DRAGGED INTO THE 21ST CENTURY? You work. Your partner works. Your little one starts school. Suddenly, there is a problem. Who is going to take your child to school and who is going to collect them? You and your partner both need to be at work before the school day begins, and your workdays end after the school day finishes. It’s a conundrum that many of us go through, and it’s one that not only causes a complete re-jiggle of work commitments/the disposal of a career/the use of extra people in raising your child/the callingupon of after-school care facilities (if your school has them), but it’s also the cause of an immense amount of family stress. And for what? And why? Surely, in today’s modern society there is a better way? Or is there? “There really are no easy answers,” says Dr Justin Coulson, one of Australia’s leading parenting experts and author of 21 Days to a Happier Family. “Can young children cope with a longer day at school? Maybe. In relation to the number of hours a child should be learning… it depends. Is the learning stimulating? Or is it learning by rote? Are the children playing and excited? Or are they being controlled and drilled? If the learning is play-based and if the experience is developmentally appropriate, then of course they can cope. But there are costs to extending the school day without massively changing the way we think about education.” “Expanding the school day can however, in and of itself, potentially increase stress for children,” warns leading clinical
neuropsychologist Dr Ash Nayate who has been working with families for over 15 years. “It can reduce the opportunity they have to be at home with their family, reduce their motivation for learning and tire them out (bringing with it the associated behavioural issues that come from being fatigued). We see this happening in the US and in many Asian countries where the school day is extended. Children face increased performance pressure, and as a result, experience wellbeing difficulties.”
WHAT OTHER COUNTRIES DO So what do other countries do? With Finland possessing one of the most progressive and successful education systems in the world that values play, curiousity, autonomy and a well-funded egalitarian model (including an absence of standardised testing), do they experience a longer school day? Interestingly, no. In fact, you’ll find the average school day in Finland is only five hours long, with very little homework to complete at the end of the day. Conversely, Korean students are typically in school from 9am to 5pm (or 7:30am to 6pm for some adolescents), with huge amounts of study to be done afterwards and often additional classes to attend at night.
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HOW CHILDREN LEARN To determine whether it might be possible to extend the school day therefore, the most important question of all has to be whether young children are actually able to cope with a longer day. “Young children learn through play, movement and human interaction,” explains Clare Crew, child development consultant and founder of Thrive Education and Wellness (www.thriveeducationandwellness.com.au). “Six hours a day in the classroom where the emphasis is on academics is plenty. If a mix of learning was available, there might be more scope for an extended day, but this would require an approach to teaching not often modelled or supported by our system. As it is, such little brains and bodies are not yet ready for the equivalent of an office working day, and we need to focus on what is best for children, not what is best for the workplace.” “The younger the child, the more play-based learning is crucial,” adds Dr Ash. “Kids need to be in unstructured environments so that they can learn creativity, problem solving skills and social skills amongst other things. A classroom setting is highly structured (lots of rules and regulations) and therefore doesn't confer the same benefits as outdoor unstructured play. In my opinion, therefore, a longer school day should be avoided. The issue isn't so much whether kids can ‘cope’ (humans are pretty resilient!) – it's about what's best for their learning. Spending almost their entire waking hours in school, largely in structured settings, is NOT an optimal learning environment for kids. In many cases, children need to do LESS in order to enjoy more ... and ironically, they end up learning more in the long run – because whatever they are learning tends to stick around. We want to educate children to be great thinkers (rather than simply great test-takers). As Albert Einstein said, ‘Play is the highest form of study’.”
“THE MIND IS NOT A VESSEL TO BE FILLED, BUT A FIRE TO BE KINDLED.” ~ PLUTARCH THE EFFECT OF STRESS So, if we are ensuring that our children are looked after from a learning and development standpoint, what about the effect of the long-term stress on families who find it tough to adhere to school commitments, struggling consistently to meet the conflicting demands of their child’s day and their working day? Surely this has a knock-on effect on children, not to mention parents? “Yes. Chronic stress impacts on our immune system and makes us more susceptible to illness (there is a whole field of study called psychoneuroimmunology dedicated to this),” cautions Dr Ash. “It can also leave adults and children more susceptible to anxiety, depression, substance abuse (eg. alcohol), disordered eating and sleep disturbances, and we're more likely to perceive the world as negative or hostile. In addition to this, our brains often don't function as well when we're stressed, we have trouble thinking clearly and we're more impulsive in words and actions. We can also be irritable or grumpy, which can affect the way we relate and respond to others.” The importance of dealing with this issue and finding that balance between the needs of the school/work day cannot be underestimated therefore.
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EXTENDING THE SCHOOL DAY
THE PROS 1. Increased education enrichment: “Many young children are currently attending after-school care several days a week already,” says Jenny Atkinson, primary school teacher of 30 years experience and an education transition specialist and founder of Sparks Education Australia (www.sparkseducation.com.au). “Whilst they are well taken care of, extended hours in school would give them opportunity for more educational instruction.” 2. Short-term parental/work benefits: By extending the school day, parents can meet the demands of their work, confining their jobs to their workplace, not having to bring work home and squeeze it around family life which can be very stressful. The home also becomes a ‘sacred’ place of family engagement. 3. Happier parents who are able to fulfil their career potential: A longer school day will allow parents to continue on their chosen career path without the frustration of trying to fit it around the school day, modelling fulfilment and ambition to their children. Happier parents = a happier family unit".
THE CONS 1. Strain on teachers: If teachers do not get time to adequately prepare for lessons, then any gains achieved as the result of extended time in school can be lost through an overworked, stressed or less-prepared teaching body. 2. Less play: If young children lose their free time after school, where will they have time in the day to explore, play or be creative in ways that they choose? “Not enough ‘downtime’ can lead to overstressed children, which is counterproductive to learning,” warns Jenny. 3. More stress: “Children who are overworked and overtired (and overstressed) are more prone to illness, irritability and mood swings,” reveals Dr Ash. “They are also more likely to engage in conflict (eg. with parents and siblings) and may be more likely to experience chronic feelings of anxiety or sadness. These long-term effects of stress can affect the entire family unit." 4. Less downtime/balance: A child who is at school for long periods of time is out of the family home and is not with his parent for the majority of the day. He therefore has less time to connect with his loved ones and less time to recharge for the next day of learning. 5. Greater fatigue: A child who is at school for too long can become worn out, and a worn-out child can regress academically. This is particularly prevalent for children in the younger years of school or for whom learning is challenging.
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WHAT YOU CAN YOU DO TO MAKE THE SCHOOL DAY EASIER ON YOURSELF Here are some ways you can make the school system work a little better for yourself: Collaborate with another family: Make an arrangement with another family to share school pick-ups/drop-offs – on one day one parent does school pick-up/homework time/dinner, and on another day the other parent returns the favour. Sign up to after-school activities: See what after-school classes are available at school that your little one might like to attend. Is there an art class or gym class that takes place at school which does not require your presence so you can collect your child later?
THE MIDDLE ROAD So where might the balance be? “Keeping the day as it is, to be in line with meeting children’s holistic development, ensuring ample places are available in quality before- and after-school care, and securing a greater flexibility from workplaces with regard to our most precious resource of the future, our children, is the way forward,” says Clare. “Let’s not replace wellbeing with convenience. In my mind, the crux of the issue is the workplace. We need more employers and companies to come on board, offering flexible working hours to parents. When there’s less of a work-life divide, most employees will feel supported and bring their best version of themselves to a job, which can only be better for all concerned in any event.”
Share the drop-offs/pick-ups with your partner: By doing this, you have automatically halved your ‘school hours vs. work hours’ issue. Consult with your employer: See if you can go flexi-time so that you can arrive/leave your job later, and perhaps make up for it once your kids have gone to sleep or your partner has arrived home to take over the child wrangling. Investigate any after-school care options: Many schools offer this service which allows children to play in a relaxed environment with their peers while you finish work. Many of these services are also subsidised by the government, making them often reasonably affordable.
WORD FROM A HEAD TEACHER “Society’s priorities should be focused on providing the best opportunities for our children, not on working. So, perhaps we would do well to ask: what’s best for children rather than what’s best for the workplace? Children could cope with a longer day, but what’s most important in a child’s development is forming a strong, positive relationship with an adult – ideally their parent.
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“In addition, many people don’t fully appreciate the amount of hours a good teacher puts into their day outside the classroom. Whilst most teach approximately 20 hours face-to-face, this doesn’t include at least another 30 hours preparation, marking, planning, extra-curricular activities and professional development. A good teacher’s workload is far bigger than what many people realise. “And finally, too often the question is phrased as ‘care’ vs. ‘work’, rather than pondering what is in the best educational interests of a child. At the end of the day, schools aren’t child-minding services. They exist to help educate young people in partnership with their family.” - Dr Paul Browning, Headmaster of St Paul’s School, North Brisbane
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[WELLBEING]
KIDS in the
GARDEN by CATH MANUEL
MOST CHILDREN ARE NATURALLY DRAWN TO NATURE FROM AN EARLY AGE. THEY LOVE LOOKING AT BUGS, PICKING FLOWERS AND PLAYING IN THE DIRT. THIS IS DUE TO OUR CONNECTION WITH NATURE AND LIVING THINGS, AND IT MUST BE NURTURED AS CHILDREN GROW OLDER TO DEVELOP RESPECT AND CONNECTION FOR THE EARTH AND OTHERS. One of the best ways to connect with nature is through gardening. Gardening provides opportunities to learn, explore, stimulate senses and experience many of life’s lessons, which is perfect for children.
wonderful things that stimulate your child’s senses and have fun doing it, and you’ll create memories and an interest that will stay with them for years to come.
Encouraging an interest in gardening from a young age will instil a love for nature in children and develop an interest in how food is grown.
Another thing to consider is to not overwhelm children with too many rules or things for them to do, so my tip for gardening with kids is to keep it simple. Start with small, simple and fun activities that create interest without being a chore. Also ensure that there are positive outcomes in everything you do. Don’t set your kids up for failure or they are likely to not try it again.
The key to developing an interest is firstly to let children explore nature without too many boundaries – obviously considering safety at all times – allowing them to explore, touch, feel, smell, hear and even taste the delights found throughout the garden. Find
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[WELLBEING]
HERE ARE A FEW IDEAS FOR GETTING YOUR KIDS INTO THE GARDEN Start with something that already interests them. This could be picking pretty flowers, making mud pies, or picking food and eating it in the garden.
Keep in mind that kids have a short attention span, so give them up to 15 minutes doing an activity (depending on age) and when they start to wander off to something else let them go. They’ll usually find something else in the garden that grabs their attention – butterflies and other bugs usually do this!
Don’t freak out if they get dirty. Everything can be washed off and the experience is so much better when kids get their hands and feet in the dirt or on the grass (and they’ll actually build up their immune system by connecting with the earth). Always wash hands when you are finished. This sets up good hygiene habits with kids.
When planting into your garden try methods of sowing seeds into small pots or directly into the ground, and also planting seedlings (baby plants). This give your kids something to watch sprout from seed, but also gives them instant results when planting seedlings. Flowers, herbs and veggies can be grown in your garden from seeds and seedlings, so start to grow by both methods. Pick suitable weather to spend time outdoors. In the heat of summer, the late afternoon either just before or after dinner is a nice time for a garden wander. Overcast days are lovely in the garden, as are the cooler days to enjoy warm sunshine.
I f you’re planting seedlings or small plants during the warm months it’s best to do this late afternoon. In cooler months, the morning is fine for planting. Overcast or light rainy days are also good for planting.
Try sprouts or micro-greens for quick crops. Both methods can be grown indoors, or outside in morning sunshine for micro-greens. You eat the very small leaves once they have sprouted. As they’re packed with nutrients and flavour, you can add a small amount to lunches, salads and as a garnish on meals. Kids love to sprinkle little leaves around!
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[WELLBEING]
or older children, try setting up F a compost or worm system in the garden. This shows kids how to reduce waste, reuse food scraps to make healthy dirt and also simple ways for recycling. Growing a garden is also about learning to care for our world, and composting and worm systems are an easy way to get kids to consider ways to reduce our impact on the world.
I nclude activities that help your kids to learn new words and to read information about the plants. When planting seeds use small plastic labels as they’re perfect for writing plant names on. This encourages kids to read labels and seed packets and write down the names of the plants. Also include counting seeds and talking about different seed types and sizes. This creates great interest in all ages … including adults! Have a few gardening tools ready for them to use. Find lightweight tools for smaller children and regular tools for teenagers. Safety is super important when gardening with kids so always wear gloves, hats and enclosed shoes.
I f you’re growing food, make a list of five foods your family loves. I grow foods that I know my boys will pick and eat fresh or to put into lunchboxes. These are beans, strawberries, passionfruit, celery and blueberries. These are all easy to grow foods that most kids enjoy.
Try growing in creative containers – recycle old items to grow plants in such as old boots, buckets, wheelbarrows and bathtubs. Also recycle old toys like tip trucks, diggers or tubs and grow something bright in these – they’re perfect for succulents.
Think more about the experience and worry less about the outcome. As the old saying goes, ‘It’s all about the journey, not the destination’. This is so relevant when gardening with children. The gardening activity is of most benefit when the experience is enjoyed, not when worrying about the end result. You can always go back afterwards and fix things if needed. There are many ways of introducing your kids to gardening and once an interest in nature is ignited, it will last throughout their life. What an amazing gift to give our kids.
Cath Manuel is an organic gardening expert, lifestyle mentor, horticulturist and educator based on the Sunshine Coast. She has many years’ experience in the gardening industry and has a great passion for growing fresh, organic food and living a sustainable lifestyle. Find more information on Cath’s programs and services at www.soiltosupper.com and www.facebook.com/SoiltoSupper
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[FAMILY HEALTH]
LIFE ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM by DR MARNIE CUMNER B.A.(PSYCH.), P.GRAD.DIP.PSYCH., D.PSYCH. (CLINICAL NEUROPSYCHOLOGY), MAPS, CCN
WHAT IS AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER? Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a developmental disorder, emerging during a child’s early development. Children with ASD experience difficulty with social communication and show repetitive behaviours and fixated interests. Often parents notice their children are developing differently by the age of two or three years. However, some milder cases of ASD do not become clear until primary school, when the expectations for social interaction and communication increase. In 2013, the criteria for diagnosing ASD were changed. Previously there were separate diagnoses, such as Asperger’s Disorder and Autistic Disorder. Now, these diagnoses are captured under the umbrella term Autism Spectrum Disorder. The spectrum concept reflects how symptoms vary in intensity and frequency from one child to the next. When diagnosing ASD, health professionals rate the severity of symptoms based on how much they interfere with the child’s everyday life and how much support they need. Research into the cause of ASD has found that genetics and brain development play a role, though the exact answer remains a mystery. We do know that the brain of a child with ASD develops differently than a neurotypical child’s brain. We also know that ASD is not caused by something that a child’s parent does or does not do.
WHAT DOES ASD LOOK LIKE IN EVERYDAY LIFE? Although no two children with ASD are the same, they do share certain challenges. All children with ASD have difficulty with social interaction and using language to communicate with others. For example, a child with ASD may not be interested in chatting or playing with other children. They may not take turns in conversation, but instead talk at length about their own interests. They may have trouble both understanding and using nonverbal communication, such as eye contact, tone of voice, gestures and facial expressions. They may take comments literally and
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have trouble understanding puns or sarcasm. Although social communication may not come naturally to children with ASD, they can learn the ‘rules’ of social interaction with appropriate education and support. Children with ASD tend to have very particular and intense special interests. For example, some children love train statistics or geology, while others may collect certain things, like toy cars or bottle caps. These areas of special interest bring the child great joy and focus, and they tend to engage in and talk about them whenever possible. Children with ASD generally like to follow a set routine and can become upset when someone tidies their room, rearranges the furniture or takes a different route to the shops. They can become very distressed by change, particularly if it is unexpected. Repetitive behaviours are common, such as flapping arms, flicking light switches or lining up favourite toys, and a child may use these behaviours to calm themselves down when feeling stressed or overwhelmed by things in their environment. For example, children with ASD can be very sensitive to sensory stimuli, such as loud noise, bright lights, food textures or the way things feel to touch.
STRENGTHS AND CHALLENGES IN THINKING SKILLS Children and young people with ASD often have particular patterns of strengths and difficulties in their thinking skills. They can have difficulty putting themselves in someone else’s shoes in order to understand how that person feels. This does not mean they lack empathy, which is a common misunderstanding about ASD. In fact, children with ASD are often extremely sensitive to others’ emotions. However, they can find it hard to understand the impact of their own comments on another person’s feelings. Children with ASD tend to focus on details, rather than looking at the big picture. This can make generalising learned skills to
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[FAMILY HEALTH]
new situations difficult. However, this can also be a valuable skill – attending to the details that most of us overlook can lead to new innovations and understanding. People with ASD are often drawn to professions that require high levels of precision and may become engineers, scientists and technology experts.
WHEN TO SEEK HELP
Although the difficulties associated with ASD receive a lot of attention, it is also important to investigate a child’s personal strengths and areas of interest. For example, children with ASD are often very good at learning information and may have encyclopaedic knowledge and incredible memory for certain topics. When focused on their area of special interest, children with ASD can show exceptional attention and motivation. School education programs can be tailored around these special interests to increase attention and motivation.
• does not respond to their name
The preference of children with ASD for routine and predictability may lead to an aptitude for mathematics and science, which rely on well-established rules and formulas. Visual skills are often an area of strength and can be used to help children with ASD to understand new information and follow classroom routines. Children with ASD also tend to be direct communicators and independent thinkers.
Behaviour amber lights include when a child:
WHY DIAGNOSE ASD?
• is sensitive to sensory stimulation, e.g. loud noise, food textures, clothing
A correct diagnosis of ASD provides a context for understanding a child’s particular challenges. A thorough assessment by a psychologist or paediatrician will also highlight a child’s unique strengths and interests. This information can then be used to provide intervention and support that uses a child’s strengths to help ease their difficulties.
SOMETHING TO REMEMBER…
Children with ASD have a different way of thinking and this can be wonderful, stressful, powerful and exhausting for them and their caregivers … sometimes all at once. A diagnosis of ASD does not change who a child is, but is instead a starting point for understanding more about a child and obtaining appropriate support and intervention.
The following communication and behaviour ‘amber lights’ are often seen in children with ASD. Social communication amber lights include when a child: • does not smile spontaneously at loved ones • does not point out or show you things • does not use gesture and/or has reduced eye contact • has delayed language development • is not interested in other children • does not play pretend • does not understand one-step instructions, e.g. give me the ball. • strictly follows daily routines and is easily upset by change • focuses on parts of objects • h as intense areas of interest, e.g. biology, geology, space, statistics • displays unusual body movements, e.g. flapping, back-arching
• performs repetitive activities, e.g. flicking switches, folding paper. If you are concerned about your child, speak with your GP about obtaining a developmental assessment. You can also find an experienced psychologist in your local area on the ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder Practitioner List’ on the Australian Psychological Society website (www.psychology.org.au). Medicare rebates are available in some instances and your GP can help you negotiate the referral pathways. Funding may be available for early intervention services once a diagnosis of ASD has been made. The Raising Children Network website (www.raisingchildren.net.au) is an excellent source of information about ASD.
Marnie Cumner is a clinical neuropsychologist with specialised training in understanding how our brain function affects our everyday thinking and behaviour. Marnie sees children and adolescents with a wide range of presentations, including learning difficulties, ASD, ADHD, brain injury, social skill difficulties and anxiety. Marnie’s practice is located at Noosa Heads and she can be contacted by phone on (07) 5447 2144 and by email at marnie.cumner@gmail.com. For more details visit www.sunshinecoastneuropsychology.com
AUTISM QUALITY
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GUIDE ULTIMATE EASTER SCHOOL HOLIDAY GUIDE
Message from your digital editor
Hello, and what an amazing couple of months it has been online! We’ve had some incredible chats with you, and are thrilled to be building such a close-knit tribe of KOTC and KITC sisters in the digital space as we revel in the wild ride that is motherhood together! From simple and easy recipes, to parenting hacks, to breaking news, we’ve had it all going on at kidsinthecity.com.au and kidsonthecoast.com.au over the past few weeks. And we can’t wait to keep talking with you, offering you the best advice, inspiration, reviews, family health tips, wellness updates and competitions, as well as our recommendations on where to go and what to do in South East Queensland. And don’t miss our new book review section, with recommendations for gorgeous kids’ stories now being added to our site twice a week. In fact, some of the books are so cute, we want to keep them for ourselves! In addition, we are also excited to announce we are now running a KOTC/KITC Sisterhood SHOUTOUT system, whereby if you would like to ask other mums a question or are wanting some advice, let us know and we will post your question on our Facebook pages. United we stand! And as always, if there is anything you would like to see on our digital space that you feel is missing, drop me a line at editor@mothergoosemedia.com.au. I would love to hear from you.
EDUCATION 25 WAYS TO ASK YOUR KIDS HOW SCHOOL WAS TODAY
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RECIPE COCONUT & LEMON BLISS BALLS
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Books
For our personal reviews of these titles and many others we are sure you will love, head to www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
apps
Fiction book reviews by Rebecca Teaupa from The Little Reading Room www.thelittlereadingroom.com.au
A BEGINNER’S GUIDE TO BEAR SPOTTING
Michelle Robinson and David Roberts. Bloomsbury. RRP $22.99 The essential guide for any would-be bearspotter, this hilarious book is an entertaining look at the dangerous and baffling world of bearspotting. A Beginner’s Guide to Bear Spotting is recommended for readers aged 3 to 6 years who will undoubtedly enjoy this laugh-out-loud adventure, with a hilariously uncertain ending.
HATTIE HELPS OUT
Jane Godwin, Davina Bell and Freya Blackwood. Allen & Unwin. RRP $24.99 Hattie Helps Out is a delightful story of the antics of a little girl ‘helping’ prepare a party. The book begins when Hattie’s mum, who is so exhausted from preparing for Hattie’s Dad’s birthday party, falls asleep. Being helpful, Hattie decides to step in and complete the necessary tasks before the guests arrive. Recommended for readers aged 3 to 5 years Hattie Helps Out is a heartwarming story that will leave children laughing and adults smiling at the all too familiar ‘helpful’ antics of a child.
PARENTING FOR A HAPPIER HOME
Stuart Passmore. Exisle Publishing. RRP $29.99 (April 2016) Parenting can be one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but it can also be one of the toughest. There are times where you’ll likely have to deal with conflict, behavioural issues, heightened stress and discipline that seems to go nowhere. In Parenting for a Happier Home, renowned Australian psychologist Stuart Passmore provides a research-driven practical parenting guide to getting your kids back on track and creating a happier home.
Movies
EPIC! - UNLIMITED BOOKS FOR KIDS
(Android, iOS) $4.99 per month (30 day free trial) Epic! is the world’s leading online children’s subscription book service, offering unlimited access to over 10,000 children’s books for kids 12 years and under. Books on Epic! can be instantly discovered, read and shared with friends. Personalised for each individual reader, Epic! is the only place to access thousands of high quality, curated children’s books without the need to purchase or download them one by one. Beautifully designed for mobile and featuring fun, game-like elements, Epic! provides kids with a personal library they can take anywhere. In a world of unlimited screen time, Epic! is a smart alternative to games and videos.
READ MORE reviews www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
KUNG FU PANDA 3
In cinemas March 24. Rating: TBC In 2016, one of the most successful animated franchises in the world returns with its biggest comedy adventure yet, Kung Fu Panda 3. When Po's long-lost panda father suddenly reappears, the reunited duo travels to a secret panda paradise to meet scores of hilarious new panda characters. But when the supernatural villain Kai begins to sweep across China defeating all the kung fu masters, Po must do the impossible – learn to train a village full of his fun-loving, clumsy brethren to become the ultimate band of Kung Fu Pandas!
See a Cine Buzz Crew advance screening of Kung Fu Panda 3 on Sunday March 20 at 10.30am at BCC and Event Cinemas. Tickets are on sale now at eventcinemas.com.au
ALSO CHECK OUT…
Disney’s Zootopia In cinemas March 17 42
MAR/APR 2016
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DISNEY’S THE JUNGLE BOOK
In cinemas April 7. Rating: TBC Based on Rudyard Kipling’s timeless stories and inspired by Disney’s classic animated film, The Jungle Book is an all-new live-action epic adventure about Mowgli, a man-cub who’s been raised by a family of wolves. But Mowgli finds he is no longer welcome in the jungle when fearsome tiger Shere Khan, who bears the scars of Man, promises to eliminate what he sees as a threat. Urged to abandon the only home he’s ever known, Mowgli embarks on a captivating journey of self-discovery, guided by pantherturned-stern mentor Bagheera and the free-spirited bear Baloo.