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ISSUE 50
April/May 2014 GOLD COAST
Celebrating
LEARNING TO LOSE GRACEFULLY
SOLUTIONS TO A BETTER NIGHT’S SLEEP TESTING TIMES TRICKY FRIENDSHIPS
PLUS WHAT'S ON CALENDAR CONVERSATION + LOTS MORE
Free!
Hits the big screen in QLD
April 7
Disney’s “Muppets Most Wanted” takes the entire Muppets gang on a global tour, selling out grand theaters in some of Europe’s most exciting destinations, including Berlin, Madrid and London. But mayhem follows the Muppets overseas, as they find themselves unwittingly entangled in an international crime caper headed by Constantine— the World’s Number One Criminal and a dead ringer for Kermit—and his dastardly sidekick Dominic, aka Number Two, portrayed by Ricky Gervais. The film stars Tina Fey as Nadya, a feisty prison guard, and Ty Burrell as Interpol agent Jean Pierre Napoleon. Disney’s “Muppets Most Wanted” is directed by James Bobin and produced by David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman. Bobin co-wrote the screenplay with Nicholas Stoller, who is also executive producer with John G. Scotti. Featuring music from Academy Award®-winning songwriter Bret McKenzie, “Muppets Most Wanted” hits the big screen April 7, 2014. © Disney
www.disney.com.au/muppets
SAVE! $
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2 Children OR 1 Adult & 3 Children. Children aged 3-15 years. Maximum 1 adult or 1 child can be added for $10 for 2D or $13 for 3D. Cannot be used in conjunction with any other offer. Not valid at Event Glendale, Greater Union Manuka, Birch Carroll & Coyle Australia Fair & Ipswich or Skyline Blacktown Drive-in. ^A 50% off Family Pass will be set up in your Cine Buzz account once 2 valid family passes have been registered on that account. A 50% off Family Pass is valid between 20.3.14 & 27.4.14. The 50% off family Pass may take up to 24 hours to appear on your account. You must be a registered member to receive this offer. To redeem members must either sign-in to their account online or present their Cine Buzz card at the box office.
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50 Contents ISSUE
April/May 2014
Hat design by Shelley Emia from Whaia Spirit (on Facebook)
4
CELEBRATING 10 YEARS
6
FROM THE PUBLISHER
6
THE SOCIAL GATHERING
8
WHAT’S NEWS
9
CHECK THIS OUT
10
FEATURE: Learning to lose gracefully
14 EDUCATION: Testing times 20 10 DAYS, 10 PRIZES! 22 CALENDAR OF EVENTS: Find out what’s happening on the Coast during April & May 24 THE ‘P’ FILES: Tricky friendships 28 BABIES ON THE COAST: Goodnight, sleep right
Dress from www.etsy.com/shop /LottieDaBaby
32 YOU! Products and ideas just for you – Mother’s Day special 34 GOOD HEALTH: Asthma 40 CONVERSATION: With Assist a Sista
Alle
gra,
4
42 REVIEWS
EDITORIAL CONTRIBUTORS: CASSY SMALL , SANDRA SMITH, MAXINE ARTHUR, JACKIE GOLDSTON, SHARON WITT, ALYSSAH PADGET COVER PHOTOGRAPHY: MICHELLE CRAIK
- on the coast -
PUBLISHED BY: THINGS 4 KIDS PTY LTD. PO Box 491, Eumundi QLD 4562 PHONE: 1300 430 320 FAX: 07 07 5442 7253 WEB: www.kidsonthecoast.com.au ABN: 86 473 357 391. All editorial and advertising in Kids on the Coast is published in good faith based on material, verbal or written, provided by contributors and advertisers. No responsibility is taken for errors or omissions and opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the publisher. All material in Kids on the Coast is subject to copyright provisions. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from the publisher. Feedback/comments/suggestions? Send to: editorial@kidsonthecoast.com.au. We aim to reply to all correspondence but don’t guarantee to do so. Letters to the editor may be edited for length or clarity. DISTRIBUTION: Kids on the Coast (Golc Coast edition) is a free publication circulating over 18,000 copies from Tweed Heads to Coomera, including Hinterland. Separate editions cover Brisbane and the Sunshine Coast. For distribution enquiries please phone: 1300 430 320 or email: admin@kidsonthecoast.com.au
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
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CELEBRATING
First issue March 2004
YEARS WRITER OF MANY WORDS
Maxine 4
PRODUCTION/DESIGN SUPER-COOL FUNKSTER
STORY TELLER
SALES GOLDEN GIRL
Alana
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
Louisa
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CITY SALES CHICK
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EVENT -FULL ORGANISER
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WORD CREATOR
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ONLINE WHIZZ
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KEEPING IT REAL COLUMNIST
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Page 20 ISSU e 30 Jan/F eb 2oo9 IssU e 32 MAY/ JUNe
things to do, to go, every places thing for kids & pare nts the Sunshine on Coast
2oo9
things to free!! everything fordo, places to go, kids on the suns & parents hine Coast www.kids onth
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Keeping the kids active
Celebrat
Our babies have become kids and our kids teenagers
your bab ing y’s arrival CopIng wIt sleep dep h rIvatIon
is oRgAnic thE ExtRA woRth monEy?
KeepIng your bab y safe
are your
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oth
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fun or me nds: nace?
PLUS the Kids on the calendar of Coast events, prod and the lates uct reviews t parenting books
m.au
Avoid chi ldhood dEpREssio n build REs And iliEncE
Is It just or Is eve me, havIng ryone babIes?
Plus thE cAl
speCIal
EndAR oF EvEnts choicE diR, pAREnt’s REviEws EctoRy, And pRizEs !
baby
edItIon
whAt is modern
living doing ouR Kidto s?
10 years, 120 issues, almost 2.5 million magazines, kotc_sc_32
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21/4/09
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5 offices, over 100 Babies!
Friendships, laughter, tears & tantrums!
WOW, have WE grown! LITERARY MASTER DESIGN GEEK
Belinda www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
PUBLISHER AND COMMANDER
Michelle
Toni
DAYS
EDITOR IN CHIEF ADMIN & SUPER PROOFER
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PRIZES Starts April 7 ENTER ONLINE to www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
Memorable Moments "Toni phoning me and asking me what the noise was - 7mth old had just started daycare and I was expressing whilst working on the computer!" -Kellie "When your job interview is at the local aquatic centre, so the kids can entertain themselves while you chat (and eat!), you know you're onto a good thing. Not only a great position, in a fantastic family environment, but friends for life" - Simone, 2005
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Read more about us on our website www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
WELCOME
I’ve never been a writer. It’s a talent I’ve always desired, considering I have so much to say. I’m more the thinker, the ideas woman (much to the torment and suffering of my team). The one who likes a challenge, takes risks. The eternal optimist. I’ve learnt that these qualities have come in very handy when running a magazine. Kids on the Coast is a story of success, strength, passion, inspiration, dedication and friendship. It’s a story of women. When I started this magazine 10 years ago, I was the mum of a 2 year old. I was young and driven and being the ideas woman I am, thought a magazine for mums is just what the Coast needed. How hard could it be? I thought. Well actually, EXTREMELY hard. To keep a very long story short, the journey has taken me from a small desk in my hallway, to what Kids on the Coast is today. Along the way, we have endured life changing loss, taken risks, made some huge sacrifices, learnt many valuable lessons but above all earned a deep respect for what we call a ‘parent’. I can hardly remember my life before Kids on the Coast and 10 years doesn’t actually feel long enough for what we have learnt about being a mum and how much we have achieved. We’ve nearly come full circle and those babies that were the initial inspiration for thousands of articles over the years are now teenagers (a whole other magazine) and ironically I am back where I started. With a 2 year old and a new magazine, Kids in the City…yes we have taken on Brisbane, I feel like I have started the parenting journey for both all over again. This time a little wiser, I hope! Although I have a lot to say, I like to be somewhat anonymous. This magazine is not about me. I read too many success stories that focus on trying to make one person a celebrity for something they have only played a part in. My biggest success is the amazing, brilliant and talented women I call my team, that are behind every issue. For 10 years, 120 issues, and almost 2.5 million magazines, this team (half of which have been with me nearly every step of the way) juggle children, households, husbands, school drop offs/pick ups, after school mayhem…. and still manage to walk into an office and do an incredible job day in day out. They give up a clean house, a good movie on TV, an early night and their calendars revolve around constant deadlines. And now that social media has entered our lives, every waking moment is spent updating you through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and whatever new medium comes along to help get information to you. Kids on the Coast is just part of who we are. When you pick up your next issue of Kids on the Coast, be reminded of the fact that we are women, mums, nurturers, providers, working women and advocates. Thousands of hours have gone into creating this magazine for you. Every issue is filled with our passion and integrity. We are dedicated to providing you with a high quality, free resource so please support our loyal advertisers to continue to make this possible. Kids on the Coast isn’t just a magazine, it’s a family. Toni Eggleston Publisher
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
Connect with our online community
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
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Whatsnews
Stay up to date with your local community news. If you have any unique news that you’d like to share, please contact our editor at editorial@kidsonthecoast.com.au
Community
NEWS
WE PREFER TO PLAY HOST AT HOME THAN EAT OUT
Queenslanders prefer to host a BBQ at home while Sydneysiders would rather dine out, according to a new survey commissioned by RSL Art Union. RSL Art Union General Manger Luke Traini said the survey was designed to uncover some home truths about what the perfect home is, depending on which side of the border you’re on. “More respondents from Brisbane (22.8%) and the Gold Coast (22%) said they preferred to host an outdoor BBQ at home on a weekend, but for people in Sydney (18.9%) they’d rather dine out or go to the pub with friends,” Mr Traini said. “Maybe it’s because Queenslanders have better BBQ weather while Sydney has more pubs but I don’t want to speculate too much,” he said.
CHOICE LUNCHBOX STAR RATINGS A CHOICE calculation using the Health Star Ratings has found that there are significant differences in the nutritional profile of products found in a typical school kid’s lunchbox. The results show how the front-of-pack labelling system would help parents make healthier choices between products that may seem similar and would benefit consumers if it were rolled out. The Health Star Rating scheme was developed by industry, consumer, and public health groups with support from the federal government. CHOICE’s campaigns manager Angela Cartwright said these ratings would help busy parents looking for healthier options for their kids. “It can be really hard for busy mums and dads rushing to get the weekly shop done to cut through the spin and find out which products really are healthy,” Ms Cartwright said, “We know that many consumers no longer trust health marketing claims like "97% fat free" and the Health Star Rating will provide an objective snapshot of products that shoppers can understand, at-a-glance.” Ms Cartwright believes the ratings will act as a cue for parents to consider the nutrient information on-pack, saying “While some of the products we compared may only vary by one star, this can mean a significant difference in fibre or sugar content, so the Health Star Ratings signals that parents might want to look a little closer when deciding what to buy.”
LESS ACTIVE CHILDREN NO LONGER KNOW HOW TO ‘PLAY’ New research related to children’s physical activity levels suggests that less active children are at greater risk of injury during traditional school yard ‘play’. The research coincides with the recent release of new Australian physical activity guidelines which for the first time included a recommendation that children limit screen time for entertainment purposes to no more than two hours per day. The study examines different measures to reduce the injury risk of children during physical education, ‘play’ and commuting activities. Lead author Professor Evert Verhagen said the researchers decided on this study following a marked increase in arm and wrist fractures among primary school aged children. (Read the full news story at kidsonthecoast.com.au)
DUSTY’S ADVENTURELAND NOW AT PARADISE RESORT! Dusty’s Adventureland, which recently opened at Paradise Resort on the Gold Coast, incorporates a 9 metre rock climbing wall, Dusty's Adventure Playground, a new BBQ area and an indoor Jungle Gym. “We’ve based the new attraction around our beloved ‘Dusty’ who hails from the Outback and loves outdoor fun,” explains Resort General Manager David Brook. Once through the front doors, Dusty's Jungle Gym will leave kids wide-eyed and with the feeling of having been transported magically to the land of Madagascar. “Guests first come face-to-face with a giraffe and are then greeted with the awesome sight of the Resort’s impressive new multilevel climbing frame, complete with slides and mazes,” said Mr Brook. “It has that jaw-dropping effect; something we are sure will induce smiles.” Once checked into the hotel, Dusty’s Adventureland provides young explorers more chances for excitement during their stay. “Dusty’s Adventure Playground, includes activities such as a commando course, scavenger hunts and a new self-catering BBQ area.” www.paradiseresort.com.au
DID YOU KNOW? 8
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
Babies are born without kneecaps. (Kneecaps do not appear until a child is 2 years old.) www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
Light up your night in comfort and style!
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1 Make it up, then shake it up.
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3
Check THIS OUT!
Super fun rubber band jewellery.
4 5 Pint sized play tent for the kids 1. BRIGHT LIGHT PILLOW: light up your night in comfort and style, perfect for nap time, gifts, sleep overs or travel. The pillows contain LED lights activated by tapping the pillow for 15 minutes of light. RRP $25.00. Available exclusively at Big W or online at www.brightlightpillow.com.au 2. LOOK AND EXPLORE: This 400x magnification Duo-Scope is simple enough for younger scientists to use, while being powerful enough for high-school Einsteins. RRP: $179 www.entropy.com.au 3. DOBBLE: an addictive, fast paced pattern recognition game in which players try to find an image shown on two cards. Each card in Dobble features eight different symbols, with the symbols varying in size from one card to the next. For ages 6+ RRP $16.99 from leading retailers 4. RAINBOW LOOM®: the original kit for making stretchy and super fun rubber band jewellery. Simply stretch the rubber bands over and around the loom to create a variety of different patterns and effects. RRP $24.05. Available at Spotlight, independent craft shops and online at www.rainbowfun.com.au 5. PLAY TENT: Indoors and outdoors, park-up this VW Combi Campervan play tent and create the perfect backdrop for an imaginative road trip to remember! RRP $149 www.entropy.com.au 6. CREATIVE FUN! Make it up, then shake it up with the Glitzi Globes™ Starter Kit! The Starter Kit includes a range of adorable jewellery for girls to pop, swap, share and wear! RRP$14.99 from leading retailers. Check out more at www.glitziglobes.com www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
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FEATURE
Learning TO LOSE gracefully
GUIDING CHILDREN THROUGH THEIR FIRST EXPERIENCES OF LOSING
By Maxine Arthur
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
FEATURE
Everyone likes to win, but for every winner there is a loser, sometimes several. As much as parents and teachers would like to cushion young children from the disappointment of losing, it is an inescapable part of life. When Melbourne schools banned the schoolyard game of ‘Tiggy’ last year the reason given was that children couldn’t handle losing. How can children learn to deal with emotional pain if they are never allowed to feel it?
L
earning to respond positively to both victories and defeats is an important life lesson. Tantrums, tears and sulking may be understandable, if not acceptable, responses to losing for a four year old. But if an older child cannot learn to lose with dignity he will lose more than the game. He will lose friends who won’t play with a perennial ‘sore loser’.
IT’S A COMPETITIVE WORLD We may sometimes wish that life was less competitive. It can be exhausting to be always chasing a promotion, a sports trophy or even a parking spot. Like it or not though, it’s the world we live in. Have you watched any reality television shows lately? Whether it’s cooking, dancing, singing, losing weight, dating, renovating a house, quiz shows, racing around the world or surviving on an island – winning is the ultimate goal. Some of the contestants are none too gracious and losing is traumatic for others. In real life, competition is constant. If we want our children to enjoy the challenges of life, rather than be stressed and frustrated because they don’t win every time, they must learn the attitudes and behaviours needed to be able to win and lose with equal grace.
EVERYONE’S A WINNER There has been a trend over recent years to take an ‘everyone’s a winner’ approach where parents and teachers try to shield young children from the disappointment of losing and a possible loss of confidence. You know the sort of thing, each layer of ‘Pass the parcel’ unwrapped yields a prize, plus a few spares for anyone who missed out and every child who participates in the running race gets a ribbon. Dr Anne Drabble, Senior Lecturer in Early Childhood Education at the University of the Sunshine Coast, acknowledges the motivation behind this approach: “Every child should feel special and have their uniqueness valued. Competition should have some focus on 'having a go', 'participation' and enjoyment, in addition to winning and not winning.” As Dr Drabble points out, the trick is to balance keeping selfesteem and motivation intact while developing an understanding that you can’t win every time, “the 'everyone's a winner' approach may shield young children from the disappointment of losing but only in the short term. A concern I have is that this approach has an impact on providing children with opportunities to develop resilience, that is, to develop a capacity to keep things in perspective and bounce back when they face challenges.”
HELPING KIDS TO BOUNCE BACK Losing becomes an issue for some children at around three to four years of age. They may cry, kick, punch, bite, or throw the bat because they don’t have the words to express how they feel. They are overwhelmed by the notion of failure. What can parents do when children are frequently upset or aggressive about losing? Dr Drabble says: “Supporting children and encouraging a realistic
www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
sense of self-worth will help children manage the ‘not winning’ scenario. We need to be very kind and understanding because children at this age are learning to manage numerous challenges. I know this is not as easy as it sounds when it is your child throwing an almighty tantrum at a birthday party because they didn't win the prize! However, what parents and carers say and do around the age of three to four years will support the child to manage these challenges and help them to develop resilient capabilities for the future.”
IT’S OKAY NOT TO WIN How a child deals with the disappointment of losing depends partly on personality and partly on the strategies he has learned to cope with disappointment. A child who doesn’t know how to lose may feel a failure and generalise the sense of failure to other situations. The ability to bounce back (resilience) is crucial to surviving in a highly competitive world. You can’t do much to change a child’s basic personality, but you can do a lot to help them learn to deal with life’s ‘curve balls’.
HOW CAN PARENTS HELP? SHIFT THE FOCUS “Not winning will not undermine a child's self-confidence if they feel special and supported. Communication with the child is essential. Reassuring comments that make the child feel special, acknowledging their participation in the game and listening carefully to the child about how they feel and providing strategies to shift the focus from 'winning' to 'doing their best' and 'enjoying participation' can be very helpful”, Dr Drabble says. Beware of a child linking their self-worth or your approval to winning. Stress accomplishment, not winning. Praise the effort, not the result. Instead of asking ‘did you win?’ ask ‘did you have fun?’ Instead of ‘did you get an A?’ ask ‘what did you learn?’. Even when they win ask ‘what did you do to help your team win?’ or ‘why do you think you got an A this time?’. Associate the good result with effort. Stress the value of just enjoying the game, the friendship of team mates and the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. If you are playing family games, let the children know you are playing to have an enjoyable time together. You play because you like spending time with them, not to win. “I have found that games where luck and chance determine success is particularly useful for children in keeping the 'not winning' scenario in perspective. Chance and luck games using dice, cards and technology allow children to participate, enjoy and deflect 'not winning' away from having an impact on their self-confidence and self-worth”, Dr Drabble says. If it is a game of skill make sure the child has a chance of winning by choosing an age-appropriate game. Another useful tip is to play some practice or demonstration games, talking through rules and strategies as you go. Playing in pairs can be more fun and less stressful for the loser.
APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
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FEATURE MODEL GRACIOUS WINNING AND LOSING Set a good example by being a good sport when competing yourself, when watching your child play, or watching sport on television. Shouting abuse at the referee (televised match or live) or gloating to your mates about a win is not demonstrating how to be a good sport. Apart from sport, children observe how parents handle the day-today stresses and frustrations of life. Do you make excuses for your difficulties, blame others, criticise your child’s teachers frequently or lose it when things go wrong? If you can express your frustration calmly, then look for solutions, your children will follow your lead. Saying aloud, ‘I’m going to be late because I can’t find the car keys. Next time I’ll hang them on the key rack’ expresses your frustration but also a positive response. The same applies when dealing with your children’s frustrations – stay calm and discuss solutions.
DISCUSS WHAT SPORTSMANSHIP MEANS Dr Drabble says “Parents can also support children to manage not winning by pointing out and discussing examples of good sportsmanship. Teams who congratulate each other on the field, winners who shake the hands of non-winners and comments by sports stars on doing their best and acknowledging that they were beaten by a better player on the day are wonderful examples for children to experience and adopt.” Speak to your child about good sportsmanship and the value of treating others as you would like to be treated. Teach them to congratulate opponents. Comment on examples of good and bad sportsmanship when watching sport with your child. Praise opposing players if they deserve it. Point out that not everyone can be a top level player but everyone gets better with regular practice. Negative dismissals ‘You’re acting like a baby’ or ‘It’s not a big deal’ are not helpful. It is a big deal to your child. Empathise with the disappointment of not winning (‘It’s hard to lose by one goal. Better luck next time’). Acknowledge your child’s feelings and share your own experience of disappointment. Let your child know we all suffer disappointment sometimes, but we deal with it and move on. It’s equally important to teach your children to be gracious winners. There’s nothing like a gloating sibling to really fire up a child who is already feeling the sting of losing.
USE POSITIVE, PURPOSEFUL PRAISE. Be specific and genuine in your praise. ‘Your defence around the goal circle was much tighter today’ carries more weight than ‘Good job’. Comment on the improvements you see in their skills and strategies and especially about how they behaved towards opponents, team mates, the umpire and coach. If they behaved well they did their part in making it fun for all.
Competition has value in that it makes us try harder to achieve but there are many ways to be a winner.
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OFFER SUPPORT If your child reacts badly to a loss, or feels that he has failed at something, wait until the time is right and offer support. Ask what they think they are doing well and what they would like to improve. Offer to practice a skill or help them in other ways if they think it will help. Helping your child to set realistic goals, breaking the skills needed into manageable chunks, can help a child see that mastery takes time and he will improve with practice. Talk openly about why a team might have lost. Perhaps the skill level of the opposing team was higher, players may have been injured, maybe your child’s team didn’t play their best, or it was simply bad luck that the ball hit the post. Whatever the reason, there’s always next time.
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
KNOWING YOUR CHILD’S TEMPERAMENT CAN HELP YOU IDENTIFY THE MOST EFFECTIVE WAYS TO TEACH HIM HOW TO LOSE WITH DIGNITY. • For an EMOTIONAL child, focus on teaching him how to calm down and lighten up. Help him notice how his body reacts when he's upset (clenched muscles, shallow breathing) and together, brainstorm ways to respond (counting to 10, deep breaths, a brisk walk). • For a CONSCIENTIOUS child, aim to help her differentiate between striving for perfection and perfectionism. Talk about setting positive goals for how to improve, instead of allowing too much focus on the negative. • For an AGGRESSIVE child, make consequences clear. Show him where the line is, and what the response will be if he crosses it (then follow up if he does break a rule). • For a SOCIAL child, use peer pressure to your advantage. Stress the value of cooperating with her teammates, and remind her that they can help her stay positive if she's feeling down. (Source: Joel Fish, PhD, author of 101 Ways to Be a Terrific Sports Parent)
KEEPING COMPETITION IN PERSPECTIVE Help your child to see the bigger picture. Competition has value in that it makes us try harder to achieve but there are many ways to be a winner. Alfie Kohn’s book, No Contest: The Case against Competition, argues that cooperation beats competition every time. The Huffington Post says that Kohn’s data ‘clearly shows that people who collaborate are more productive, learn more, enjoy playing more, and have better character and interpersonal relationships’. It seems like a sound argument for playing team sports or engaging in other collaborative activities. A child who is busy encouraging and supporting team mates is sure to have more fun than the child whose only focus is to win at any cost. Whether you win or lose, or whether you compete at all, there are certainly benefits in working together towards a common goal.
WHAT MAKES A CHILD A WINNER? Dr Drabble sees the challenges of competition as an opportunity for parents to develop resilience in their children. “Life is full of everyday challenges. We can help young children to manage their challenges by making them feel special and well supported. Children should be encouraged to enjoy, participate and do their best. They should also be reassured that in different situations, their participation and doing their best may not achieve a prize. However, it does not detract from how valued they are for having a go and for congratulating the winner. Parents and carers who are supportive and encouraging during situations that allow young children to manage 'not winning' and to bounce back are ensuring that their children are developing resilient capabilities that are essential to effective functioning in the wider community.” If a child can walk away from a game, a school assignment or any other personal challenge and say ‘I did my best’, ‘I had fun’, or ‘I learned something new’. He is a winner, whatever the scoreboard says. RESOURCE: Parents may like to purchase the child’s book Sally Sore Loser by Frank J. Sileo (author) and Cary Pillo (Illustrator)
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
13
EDUCATION
G N I T TES S E T IM COPING WITH EXAM STRESS
By Sandra Smith
Testing begins in the early years of learning and continues right through to Year 12. The stress of frequent tests and exams can be overwhelming for some children, but the good news is that we can help prepare our kids for these testing times. As parents and caregivers, we can support children by modelling good coping skills and ensuring they have a balanced and healthy lifestyle.
S
tress is the body’s natural response to life’s challenges, however, chronic stress can be debilitating, even for children. Research estimates that between two and nine per cent of children and adolescents in Australia have developed anxiety disorders, according to KidsMatter. University of Melbourne associate professor and psychologist Erica Frydenberg says that stress is a normal part of everyday life, but it’s a continuum that can eventually lead to depression and despair if it’s “too long and too strong.”
14
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
Erica says children’s anxiety can depend on how things are presented and what stakes are involved. If children know there are people to help them if they need it, and if they know the teachers and parents are feeling “cool” that they are doing the best they can, they are less likely to feel stressed. Children are sensitive and perceptive to how adults behave around them, and Erica says they tend to adopt some of the ways parents deal with anxiety. If parents or teachers are highly anxious, then children pick up on that signal very quickly from an early age and they often acquire coping strategies through modelling what they see in adults.
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
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EDUCATION
Negative coping strategies which get us into trouble include worrying, self-blame, and ignoring or not disclosing problems, Erica says. Children tend to act up, while adults may rely on drinking and smoking as a means of reducing tension. The good coping strategies focus on building up a range of skills, says Erica. This includes positive self-talk—thinking that everything will be alright; we are doing our best and that’s good enough. Pro-active coping is about anticipating and preparing for something, says Erica. When children feel they’ve got the capacity and the resources to cope, they are less likely to feel anxious, so being wellprepared helps them manage their fears. “One of the things that gives you anxiety is either fear of the unknown or the fear of something where you’ve had a bad experience,” Erica advises. “When it comes to dealing with exams, what teachers will do is give children the opportunity to do rehearsals. The more you rehearse, the more you’re likely to feel that you’ve got the strategies to cope. So, by trying it out, you can usually demonstrate to yourself, ‘Oh, I did alright; I got through that.’”
“One of the things that gives you anxiety is either fear of the unknown or the fear of something where you’ve had a bad experience.” Erica Frydenberg
Erica advises that sharing a problem with others is another important coping strategy. Girls are more likely to turn to others for help than boys, who often keep things to themselves. This can be especially harmful when it is a serious issue. “We know that girls tend to be more anxious, or report being more anxious, than boys. That’s because they might be hypercritical about themselves,” she says. “Boys tend to have more of a bravado.”
When there’s a problem, Erica advises we need to think about “how we can tackle this problem; who can help me tackle this problem; knowing when to go for help and asking for help.” “For older children and adults, it’s about finding a balance without the total focus on the source of the anxiety, so that could be finding physical release, doing relaxation.” she says.
TEACHING FOR THE TEST University of the Sunshine Coast education lecturer Carol Smith says that in some classrooms and schools, the focus has been removed from true learning to “let’s pass the test.” This focus on testing instils a sense of anxiety and stress within both teachers and students, which Carol says can lead to children’s disengagement, disinterest and lack of motivation. “It’s almost as though teachers are feeling very pressured to teach to a set curriculum, to teach to the test, and so the anxieties that are experienced by the teachers, I believe, are transmitted to the students,” she says. “The curriculum has become so prescriptive and
16
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
so non-student-centred that the students can’t help but be stressed by what’s happening.” Carol advises that the principles of good learning are not inherent in testing. She says teachers need an enlightened understanding of the learning process and what their core business is in meeting the needs of the children sitting in their classroom. “In the early years, if you have a creative teacher who models, who demonstrates imaginative thinking, who is individual in the way in which they embrace some of the structure, you’re more likely to have kids who pick up on that and who can produce this in their own way,” she says. A test can be used as a guideline for the child’s strengths and level of achievement, however, Carol says parents should avoid putting too much credence on the outcomes, because children come to school with different abilities and backgrounds. Children may perform differently depending on the time of day, and whether the subject is relevant and meaningful for them. “One test on one day doesn’t suit everybody. It robs the children, in my view, of an opportunity to show us what they can really do,” she says. “And if the results are seen in a very accountable way for teacher performance and student skilling, I think we’ve missed the mark, and we need to be looking at different ways of assessing. High stakes assessment is not the way to go.” Carol recommends a collaborative partnership between parents and teachers, with an emphasis on creative learning and growing children’s strengths and skills, without focusing too much on the tests and exams. In terms of setting children up for success on a test day, Carol advises parents to try not to make a big deal of it and to treat it just like any other day in the school year. “Try to keep things as normal at home as you possibly can, because at school there are probably things going on that children are picking up on in terms of ‘this is an important day in my life’ and all the rest of it, especially when they’re really little,” she says. The testing times begin in the early learning years, as the NAPLAN (National Assessment Program - Literacy and Numeracy) assessment is mandatory for all Australian students in Years 3, 5, 7 and 9. The pressure of exams intensifies through secondary school, with some schools commencing practice tests for QCS (Queensland Core Skills) as early as Year 8. This doesn’t make sense in terms of motivation, engagement and brain function, says Carol. “It’s not educational, it’s not about the learning, it’s not about the journey,” she says. If students are still engaged and motivated at the end of Year 12, Carol believes it’s often due to the home environment and to a few good teachers who continue to provide students with creative ways of learning.
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
17
EDUCATION
ASKING FOR HELP Accessing support is a key strategy for coping with stress, and Kids Helpline is a national service that provides this support to children. In 2013, Kids Helpline received 389,968 phone calls, web and email enquiries from troubled Australian children. There were 3,378 calls about study in 2013, and of these, 1,566 were directly related to exam stress. Symptoms of stress vary according to the child’s age, and parents may not recognise that the child is showing signs of exam stress. In general, if the child’s normal behaviour changes, that is the best signal of stress and the most common way of picking it up. Kids Helpline clinical practice supervisor Deb Morrison says that young children who call the helpline often don’t realise they are under stress, but they frequently have physical symptoms of some sort. “They talk about feeling unwell, being nervous, not wanting to go to school,” she says. Young children may start to act out, wet the bed or have nightmares if they are feeling tense and worried about an upcoming test. They may complain of a tummy ache or a headache, their sleep patterns may change, or they may eat more or less than usual. “When you break it down, they are stressed about exams,” Deb explains. “Stress is going to vary from child to child, depending on the school that they go to, and how much emphasis is put on exams, and on the parents, how much emphasis they’re putting on children succeeding in exams.” Older children’s exam stress tends to manifest in behavioural changes, for example, becoming irritable or rebellious, running away from school or turning to drugs and alcohol. Teens have a higher level of self-awareness, so they can recognise when they are feeling stressed about exams. Parents can help their children cope with exam stress by having realistic expectations of their child’s strengths and potential, and by taking an active part in their children’s lives. However, Deb advises parents to have a balanced view without too much expectation and ambition for their children’s achievements. “It’s really important that parents talk to their children and ask them what’s happening for them, and how they are feeling. This sounds really simple, but it’s often neglected because parents are very busy, kids are busy,” Deb says. “Talk to the teachers, monitor how the child is responding, provide a lot of positive encouragement, and make sure the emphasis is not just on academic performance, so that the child thinks that their only worth is related to how well they perform academically.” If parents are kind and reasonable, Deb says, this can help protect children from stress and anxiety, “It’s about loving children just because they are there, rather than because they have achieved this or that,” she says. One of the protective strategies against stress is allowing children just to be children, Deb explains. This means ensuring children have time out to relax, with plenty of sleep, good eating habits and a reasonable amount of sport. Young children may unwind by riding a bike, jumping on a trampoline or simply playing with friends. Parents need to provide positive encouragement for other skills, not just for academic success. So if the child struggles with maths, but is good at music or art, parents need to support that. Pursuing extracurricular interests, for example, surfing, archery or dance, can help
18
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
“It’s really important that parents talk to their children and ask them what’s happening for them, and how they are feeling. This sounds really simple, but it’s often neglected because parents are very busy, kids are busy.” Deb Morrison:
RESOURCES Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800 (free call from a land line) www.kidshelp.com.au Parentline: 1300 301 300 APS Find a Psychologist Service: 1800 333 497 www.f indapsychologist.org.au
children feel successful in other ways, however, Deb warns parents to avoid overloading children with too many activities. Kids Helpline encourages children to connect with the people in their life who will be able to support them. This means finding a way to talk about stress with their parents and teachers, in order to overcome any feelings of isolation and to normalise what is a common experience. Children are also encouraged to tell their parents what activities actually help them relax and feel good. “A big part of our job is to help young people to connect with the people in their environment who will be able to talk to them and help them,” Deb says. “Often times when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, you don’t share that with other people, you try to mask that. It’s really good to normalise that.” When children feel supported and develop good coping skills, their confidence grows, so they can manage exam stress in a healthy and balanced way.
RECOMMENDED READING: Think Positively: A course for developing coping skills in adolescents, Erica Frydenberg, Bloomsbury, 2010.
www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
21
Stick this calendar on your fridge!
Gold Coast
CALENDAR
- on the coast
APRIL 7 TO 12 APRIL 6
SUPANOVA COSPLAY PARADE
APRIL
DAYS PRIZES
Starts April 7
ENTER ONLINE to www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
Where: Commences in Pratten Park, Broadbeach and continues throughout Broadbeach Mall before arriving at the bastion gates of the Supanova exhibition. When: 9am The Supanova Cosplay Parade will be led by the 501st Legion from Star Wars and features Peter Mayhew, Chewbacca from the legendary franchise. There will be host a great vantage points to see the spectacular parade. Details: www.broadbeachgc.com/events.html APRIL 6
KOKODA BUSH WALKING ADVENTURE AT SPRINGBROOK Where: Springbrook National Park, Springbrook Road, Springbrook (Meet at Tallabana Picnic Area) When: 6:15am to 11am, 16km over 4.5 hours Join in and meet like-minded people, enjoy the exercise, connect with others and experience Gold Coast’s tranquil bushland. Bring morning tea. Details: Gold coin donation. Bookings appreciated 0412 579 064. Facebook: Club Kokoda - Gold Coast. www.gcparks.com.au
BUZZ LIGHTYEAR'S SPACE STATION Where: Australia Fair Shopping Centre, Outside Toyworld, Level 1, 42 Marine Parade, Southport When: 10am to 1pm daily Experience the Ultimate Toy Story Interactive Zone.... Buzz Lightyear's Star Command Space Station! Details: Free. www.australiafair.com.au APRIL 8, 9, 14, 16 & JULY 2
iSELECT GOLD COAST TITANS AND NRL SCHOOL HOLIDAY CLINICS 8th April - NRL Holiday Clinic - Coomera 9th April - Titans Holiday Clinic - Logan 14th April - NRL Holiday Clinic Murwillumbah 16th April - Titans Beach Clinic - TBC 2nd July - Titans Open Training Session & NRL Holiday Clinic - Burleigh Heads Learn rugby league skills and games while playing with new friends. There will also be the opportunity to meet some of your favourite iSelect Gold Coast Titans players! Details: All abilities welcome. www.titans.com.au
12
APRIL 12
SUSTAINABLE GARDENING AT SOUTHPORT Where: Southport When: 10am to 12noon Learn all about sustainable gardening, how to recycle your waste through composting, worm farming and bokashi bins. Discover techniques to save water and create the ideal conditions in your garden for your plants to thrive. Details: Children 8 years plus. Free. Bookings required on 1300 69 4222 or namu@goldcoast.qld.gov.au www.gcparks.com.au APRIL 13
HAVE A GO CIRCUS AT MUDGEERABA Where: Hinterland Regional Park, Hardys Rd, Mudgeeraba When: 10am to 12noon Would your family like to run away and join the circus? If so come along to learn juggling, poi, flower sticks, hula hoops, spinning plates and clowning around. Lots of fun to be had! Details: Free. No bookings required. 0417 830 040. www.gcparks.com.au
APRIL 15
EASTER BUNNY SHOW Where: Pacific Fair Shopping Centre, Hooker Boulevard, Broadbeach When: 9:30am & 11:30am Meet and Greet: 10:30am Join the Easter Bunny as he celebrates the magic of Easter in this all singing, all dancing, fun filled show. Details: www.pacificfair.com.au/clubs/littlepaccas-kids-club APRIL 15
EASTER CRAFT VILLAGE Where: Pacific Fair Shopping Centre, Hooker Boulevard, Broadbeach When: 9:30am to 12:30pm Kids can design their very own Easter Basket to take home. Details: www.pacificfair.com.au/clubs/littlepaccas-kids-club
18to21
APRIL 2 TO 26
APRIL 6
APRIL 11 TO 14
APRIL 13
APRIL 18 TO 21
SURFERS PARADISE FESTIVAL
SITE NAVIGATION AND ARCHERY AT CURRUMBIN VALLEY
LIFELINE BOOKFEST - SECOND HAND BOOK SALE
MUDGEERABA STREET PARTY
AUSTRALIAN STREET ENTERTAINMENT CHAMPIONSHIPS
Where: Currumbin Farm Campus, 1226 Currumbin Creek Road, Currumbin Valley When: 10am to 12noon Site Navigation requires teams to find as many checkpoints around the farm within a time period. Archery includes a lesson, practice rounds and a chance to compete against your family and friends. Details: Free. Bookings required. 5533 0312, info@currumbinfarmschool.eq.edu.au www.currumbinfarmschool.eq.edu.au
Where: Gold Coast Convention and Exhibition Centre, 2684-2690 Gold Coast Hwy, Broadbeach When: 8am to 5pm Come along and lose yourself in 10,000 donated books! Details: Free entry. www.lifelinebookfest.com
Where: Various locations & times The Surfers Paradise Festival is a month-long celebration of Gold Coast art, culture, music and food designed to entertain, intrigue, dazzle and delight. Details: www.surfersparadisefestival.com APRIL 4 TO 6
SUPANOVA POP CULTURE EXPO Where: Gold Coast Convention and Exhibition Centre, 2684 -2690 Gold Coast Highway, Broadbeach When: Opening Night, April 4: 6pm to 10pm; April 5 & 6: 10am to 6pm Come face to face with Supa-Star celebrities and the creative talent that inspire imaginary worlds under one roof! Whether you’re seven or seven, Supernova will be a blast! Details: www.supanova.com.au APRIL 5
SAILING AND KAYAKING AT PARADISE POINT Where: Paradise Point Parklands, The Esplanade, Paradise Point (Meet next to the boat ramp and swimming enclosure) When: 10am to 1pm Activities offered include kayaking, sailing, inflatable power boats, beach volleyball and sand art. Equipment provided. Bring bathers, sunhat, sun cream and water and food. Youngsters with disabilities welcome. Details: $10. Bookings required. Contact SAILS 0405 468 344 or 0420 811 080. www.gcparks.com.au
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APRIL 6
CREATIVE CAPERS AT BURLEIGH Where: Justins Park The Esplanade Burleigh Heads When: 10am to 1pm Activities include creating a spiral rainbow tie-dye masterpiece, your own take home wooden craft item and free games and music. Details: Rainbow tie-dye $3 - $6 per item. Wooden craft activity $3 per item. Games and music free. 0411 699 928. www.sparkydodah.com.au
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
APRIL 12
GLOW - LIGHTING UP THE GOLD COAST'S CULTURAL HEART Where: Evandale Lake (behind The Arts Centre Gold Coast), 135 Bundall Road, Surfers Paradise When: 5pm - 10pm Experience the spectrum of digital arts from animation and lighting shows, to glow yoga and interactive gaming. Immerse yourself in the future of the Gold Coast's Cultural Precinct - it's time to GLOW. Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au, www.theartscentregc.com.au
Find us on
Where: Swan Lane, Mudgeeraba Celebrate the history and heritage of Mudgeeraba and explore its township - the gateway to the Hinterland. There will be loads of free entertainment including a Senior's Spot, Kids' Zone with jumping castles, inflatable obstacle course, Old McDonald's Farm, Sunny Ray from the Gold Coast Suns, Wild Rangers and loads of other family entertainment. Details: www.cityofgoldcoast.com.au APRIL 14 TO 17
PEPPA PIG & GEORGE LIVE STAGE SHOW! Where: Australia Fair Shopping Centre, Figtree Food Court, Ground Floor, 4 2 Marine Parade, Southport When: 10am, 11am, 12 noon Peppa Pig & George will be performing LIVE stage shows this Easter School Holidays! Details: Free. www.australiafair.com.au
Where: Surfers Paradise Foreshore When: 10am to 7pm Held over four days, clowns, mimes, jugglers and dancers will take to stages across Surfers Paradise in a carnival of light and laughter. Vote with your feet – or a coin in the hat – as the title of Australia's Street Entertainment Champion goes up for grabs. Details: 07 5584 3700, www.surfersparadisefestival.com APRIL 20
EASTER EGGSTRAVAGANZA Where: The Marine Village, Sanctuary Cove When: 10am to 4pm Come and meet the Easter Bunny and celebrate the spirit of Easter with a fun-filled program of activities for all ages. Details: www.sanctuarycove.com/events/ easter-eggstravaganza APRIL 25
ANZAC DAY COMMEMORATION SERVICES The following locations will be holding Anzac Day Services. Ashmore, Burleigh, Coolangatta/Tweed Heads, Currumbin, Mudgeeraba, Nerang, North Gold Coast, Pimpama/Ormeau, Robina, Runaway Bay, Southport, Springbrook, Surfers Paradise, Upper Coomera/Maudsland Details: www.goldcoast.qld.gov.au/ community/anzac-day-7448.html
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www.kidsonthecoast.com.au APRIL 25
MAY
SEAFIRE FIREWORKS CHALLENGE Where: Surfers Paradise Beach, Hanlan Street, Surfers Paradise When: 7pm to 8:30pm Watch three teams of Queensland’s greatest pyros go head-to-head in the skies above the foreshore, lighting up Surfers Paradise with cutting-edge fireworks timed to a thumping musical beat. Details: Free. 07 5584 3700, www.surfersparadisefestival.com APRIL 26
ONE WAY STREET PARTY Where: Alison Street & Appel Street, Surfers Paradise When: 12noon to 9pm With market stalls, art installations, performance art, interactive art and roving performers – there’s plenty to see! Details: Free, 07 5584 3700 www.surfersparadisefestival.com APRIL 26
SELF DEFENCE SUPER SESSION AT BURLEIGH HEADS Where: Justins Park, The Esplanade, Burleigh Heads When: 10am Discover the secrets of martial arts training and learn how to improve your core fitness, flexibility and strength in this fun and energetic hour of training. Separate session for adults and children. Details: $12. Bookings required on 0430 695 550, info@defensivetactics.biz
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MAY 11
DANCE AND CIRCUS PARTY IN THE PARK AT BENOWA Where: Gold Coast Regional Botanic Gardens, 258 Ashmore Road, Benowa When: 10am to 1pm Learn new dance moves and groove to old favourites, then have a go at the circus workshop and try your hand at hula hooping, spinning plates and much more. All ages. Details: Free. No bookings required. 07 5559 0318. www.totaltalent.com.au MAY 11
MOTHER’S DAY CLASSIC Where: Pratten Park, Broadbeach When: From 7:30am Whether you walk, run, cheer, fundraise or volunteer you’re helping to fund essential research into breast cancer. Details: www.mothersdayclassic.com.au
MAY 15 TO 18
SAILING AND KAYAKING AT PARADISE POINT
WOMEN’S HEALTH AND WELLBEING EXPO PRESENTED BY GOLD COAST CITY COUNCIL
MAY 4
FARM YARD FRIENDS AT CURRUMBIN VALLEY Where: Currumbin Farm Campus, 1226 Currumbin Creek Road, Currumbin Valley When: 10am to 12noon Get up close and personal with our farm yard friends. Assist our farmer with daily chores and feeding duties, herd the sheep into their grazing paddock and feed the miniature horse, cow, pigs, chickens and more! Details: Free. Bookings required 5533 0312, www.currumbinfarmschool.eq.edu.au MAY 10
PHOTOGRAPHY AT BUNDALL Where: Evandale Park, Ouyan Street, Bundall (Meet near the volley ball courts) When: 2pm to 3:45pm Get out with your kids and cameras and have fun with photography. Details: $10. Bookings required on 0407 222 543 or callanlewis@gmail.com www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
MIFFY LEARNS TO COUNT Where: Pacific Fair Shopping Centre, Hooker Boulevard, Broadbeach When: 9:30am & 11:30am Watch and learn as Miffy tries to work out how many carrots her mother wanted her to buy from the vegetable stall for dinner. 9:30am to 12:30pm - Visit the ABC Craft Village where kids can create their own crazy rabbit mask. Details: www.pacificfair.com.au/clubs/littlepaccas-kids-club MAY 24
SELF DEFENCE SUPER SESSION AT PALM BEACH Where: Palm Beach Parklands, Gold Coast Highway, Palm Beach When: 10am to 11am Discover the secrets of martial arts training and learn how to improve your core fitness, flexibility and strength in this fun and energetic hour of training. Separate session for adults and children. Details: $12. Bookings required on 0430 695 550 or info@defensivetactics.biz www.gcparks.com.au
Regular weekly events, playgroups, library activities, weekly sporting events, craft classes, Australian Breastfeeding Association meeting times and much more…
TICKETS MAY 15
THE WIGGLES' APPLES & BANANAS SHOW The Arts Centre Gold Coast www.theartscentregc.com.au/whats-on/ whats-on-items/the-wiggles www.thewiggles.com/tours/6/the-wiggles'apples-and-bananas-tour
APRIL 11
BARBIE LIVE! THE MUSICAL Brisbane Convention & Exhibition Centre www.premier.ticketek.com.au/shows/show. aspx?sh=BARBIE14 APRIL 11 & 12
MAY 25
RAINBOW TIE-DYE SPIRAL WORKSHOP AT REEDY CREEK Where: Southern Skies Park "The Observatory" Southern Skies Avenue, Reedy Creek When: 10am to 12noon Learn an exciting new super easy paintbrush method! Bring your own pre-loved white/ washed item eg T-shirt, shorts or a pillow case will be supplied. Details: Own garment $6 or pillow case supplied for $9. No bookings required. 0402 616 204. www.gcparks.com.au
DON QUIXOTE - IMPERIAL RUSSIAN BALLET COMPANY
Where: 196 Robina Town Centre Drive, Robina When: See website The Expo promises to provide expert tips, advice, and a wide range of educational and informative products and services on how to get the most out of life for women of all ages. Details: Free. www.womenshealthand wellbeingexpo.com.au MAY 18
SPARKY'S CARNIVAL - PIRATES AND PRINCESSES Where: Upper Coomera Community Centre, 90 Reserve Rd (Corner Abraham Rd), Upper Coomera When: 10am to 1pm Enjoy a variety of performers, games, music and interactive arts based activity stations for the whole family. Details: $15. Adults and babies free. www.sparkydodah.com.au MAY 18
MILLION PAWS WALK Where: The Great Lawn, The Broadwater Parklands Marine Parade, Southport When: On the day registration 8:30am, Walk commences. 10:30am, Walk length 1.5 and 3km options, Event concludes 1pm. Funds raised will help to provide essential care, veterinary treatment, food and shelter for more than 18,000 dogs that RSPCA Qld cares for each year. Details: www.millionpawswalk.com.au
MAY 20 & 21
THE DEEP The Arts Centre Gold Coast www.theartscentregc.com.au/whats-on/ whats-on-items/the-deep AUGUST 6
WOMBAT STEW
The Arts Centre, Gold Coast www.theartscentregc.com.au
The Arts Centre Gold Coast www.theartscentregc.com.au/whats-on/ whats-on-items/wombat-stew
MAY 14
THE WIGGLES' APPLES & BANANAS SHOW
SEPTEMBER 20
Coolangatta, Seagulls Club www.seagullsclub.com.au/ www.thewiggles.com/tours/6/the-wiggles'apples-and-bananas-tour
Mother's Day Classic
MAY 3
Where: Paradise Point Parklands The Esplanade Paradise Point When: 10am to 1pm Activities offered include kayaking, sailing, inflatable power boats, beach volleyball, sand art. All necessary equipment is provided. Bring personal gear such as bathers, sunhat, sun cream and water and food. Youngsters with disabilities welcome. Details: $10. Bookings required on 0405 468 344 or 0420 811 080
To see more events visit www.kidsonthecoast.com.au/events
MAY 20
CINDERELLA The Arts Centre Gold Coast www.theartscentregc.com.au/whats-on/ whats-on-items/cinderella
The Deep
18
Wombat Stew
MARKETS EVERY WEDNESDAY, FRIDAY AND SUNDAY NIGHT
APRIL 13 & MAY 11
BEACHFRONT MARKETS Where: The Esplanade, Surfers Paradise When: 5pm to 10pm If you're looking for an unusual gift or one-off piece, the beachfront Night Markets are your one-stop-shop. Details: www.surfersparadise.com
Where: Westfield Helensvale When: 9am to 1pm This ‘Family Boutique’ market provides beautiful high quality, unique products and services which are not mass produced or easily found in shops. Details: www.themummytreemarkets.com.au
APRIL 5
APRIL 27 & MAY 25
THE MUMMY TREE MARKETS
THE VILLAGE MARKET
Where: Masthead Way, Sanctuary Cove When: 9am to 1pm This ‘Family Boutique’ market provides beautiful high quality, unique products and services which are not mass produced or easily found in shops. Details: www.themummytreemarkets. com.au
Where: Paradise Point Parklands When: 8am to 1pm Showcases up to 100 fashion, arts and creative stalls as well as live local music and delicious gourmet food. Details: www.thevillagemarketsgc.com.au
APRIL 6 & 20, MAY 4 & 18
Where: 110 Monaco Street, Broadbeach Waters When: 8am to noon Stalls offer premium products specialising in high end, new and preloved fashion, accessories, crafts, coffee and food. Details: www.monacomarkets.com
THE VILLAGE MARKET Where: Burleigh Heads State School When: 8am to 1pm Showcases up to 100 fashion, arts and creative stalls as well as live local music and delicious gourmet food. Details: thevillagemarketsgc.com.au
MAY 4 & 18
THE MUMMY TREE MARKETS
ZERO 2 FIVE MARKET Where: May 4 - Brisbane, May 18 - Upper Coomera Quality pre-loved and new children's products. Buy or sell. Details: www.zero2five.com.au JUNE 1
BABY & KIDS MARKET
APRIL 27 & MAY 25
Where: The Carrara Indoor Stadium, Nerang-Broadbeach Road, Entrance Gate 2, Carrara. Inside the Sport Hall. When: 9am to 12noon This Baby & Kids Market is for preloved goods for boys & girls from birth to 7 yrs. Details: $4 (kids free).There is plenty of free parking around the Centre.No EFTPOS, cash only. www.babykidsmarket.com.au
MONACO MARKETS
* We publish information based on what is supplied to us - to the best of our knowlege all details are correct at the time of printing, however we do recommend you check event details with the organisers
APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
23
THE P FILES As our daughters grow and develop, so do their friendships.
Helping your daughter navigate Tricky Friendships By Sharon Witt
Author, Educator and Parenting Expert
Friendships are an important aspect of all of our lives- perhaps even more so for our daughters as they navigate the often complex years of growing up, discovering their place in the world and navigating the myriad of friendships they will develop over these developmental years.
A
s our daughters grow and develop, so do their friendships. In the early years, many friendships are developed through manufactured situations and groups we are involved in as parents. First time mother’s groups, ante natal birthing classes, playgroup, church groups and other friendship groups for mothers, often become the first opportunities that our children have to play and develop these early skills of relating to their peers. It is during these early toddler years that we can safely observe and guide our children’s play time. We can help them deal with minor disputes over whose turn it is to play with the truck, use the dress up cape or the blocks. We teach our child to play fairly, share and take turns. As our daughters enter their early Primary School years, these friendships develop more out of our earshot. Some parents may even feel a little concerned that they will not know each of your daughter’s friends at school and whom they choose to be influenced by. However, there is a lot we can do as mums to help guide our daughters through these years of critical relationship building. Indeed there will be days and weeks fraught with angst as our daughters encounter the reality of having numerous friends, differing personalities and misunderstandings. Developing the strategies to deal with friendship conflicts, tricky situations and issues of bullying are lifelong skills that will stand them in good stead for the years ahead.
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
LEAD BY EXAMPLE Whether we like it or not, our children are observing us all the time. They watch how we speak, act and conduct our own friendships. A few days ago, I was astounded by an exchange I observed on social networking site Facebook between two grown women - mothers, right in front of their children’s watchful gaze. The two women had experienced a falling out and there was obviously a great deal of jealousy involved regarding the home situation of one woman and that of the other. What was most distressing was how this ‘mean girls’ exchange was played out in a very public forum. The online conversation was quickly reduced to nasty one lined comments, foul language and hurtful accusations. However, what was perhaps the most distressing for those observing, was a few comments posted intermittently by the young children of these women- and yes I said CHILDREN! (both had Facebook accounts, clearly okayed by their parents) - who were observing every hurtful missile fired between the two! One child simply wrote: ‘Please! will you stop calling my mum names!”, “Please will you stop speaking to my mum that way, she doesn’t deserve it!’. And my heart broke! These parents were clearly having a very heated falling out - but to play this out in a very public way and under the ever-watchful eyes of their children was just so sad. How on earth do these two women then
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25
What makes a good friend?
THE P FILES teach their children to model respectful and positive conflict resolution with peers and friends? To these children, the modelling is already occurring before their eyes- and it is not healthy.
MODEL YOUR OWN POSITIVE FRIENDSHIPS As parents, we can do a lot to teach our daughters about navigating friendships by modelling our own in a positive way. Demonstrate that a friendship is a two way street by phoning your friend occasionally, sending an encouraging note or card or making a meal for them if they are unwell. When we do these things naturally in our own relationships, we are teaching our children how supportive real friendships can be.
DEALING WITH TRICKY FRIENDS We will always encounter friendships that can become a little complex or tricky at times. Our daughters will find this very difficult when it occurs but we can teach them how to handle this effectively. I had a friend a few years ago who was dealing with a bad case of postnatal depression but refused to seek help. I helped out as much as I could and would often offer to babysit, along with my own older children, so she could run small errands. However, as she became more unwell, she began to lash out at me in front of my children, would often use bad language and basically tried to drive away all those friends who tried to help her out. On more than one occasion, I left with my children, feeling totally deflated and beaten down by her harsh and angry words. Even though I knew she was acting out because of her illness, her words and actions cut deep- and my children could see this! I would discuss with my children what they had observed (my children are now adolescents) and they could see that she was not behaving in a place of wellness. However, I also had to model to my children key strategies to cope with a friend who was being unkind and difficult to spend time with. So I began to limit the time I spent with her. Whilst still visiting her to offer support, I would set a time limit that I could stay. That would give me a clear reason to go home after an hour - yet I had still reinforced her value as a friend of mine. I also chose to go home immediately if she was not in a good frame of mind, or speaking negatively. This also modelled to my children that it is okay to set our own boundaries and enforce these when necessary.
HURT FEELINGS Feelings will often be hurt during our friendships - that is the nature of living in a relationship and part of a community. However it is how we deal with hurt feelings that is most important. When your daughter experiences hurt feelings, try and use this as a teachable moment!
Girlwise is the new series of books from educator and best-selling author Sharon Witt, written especially for young girls aged 7-12 to help them through the good and bad times. Girlwise: A Guide to being YOU! and Girlwise: A guide to FRIENDS! (RRP $12.95 each) are now available from all good book stores. For more information visit www.sharonwitt.com.au
26
Recently my daughter came home from school feeling down. A girl in her class had distributed her birthday party invitations in front of a gathered group of friends- however she did not invite my daughter. She even went so far as to say: “Um…I have ONE extra invitation. Who should I invite….WHO SHOULD I INVITE?? Let’s see….’ My daughter was clearly stunned as she relayed the story to me. ‘Why would someone DO THAT?!’ she questioned, ‘It is just SO cruel!’ It became a great teachable moment for my own daughter. We talked about how this girl must be feeling about her self and her position amongst the girls if she has to noticeably, in front of everyone, NOT invite a well liked, popular girl in the group. It was all about this girl’s feelings of power, or lack thereof. I talked to my daughter about how she was feeling at that moment, and explained to her that there will always be people who deliberately (in this case) or accidentally hurt our feelings. What my daughter could learn from this is how NOT to treat others- whether they are your closest friend or just a part of your social group at school. Be mindful of other’s feelings.
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
From an early age, we can have conversations with our daughters about what makes a good, healthy friendship. What are the qualities we look for in a friend? I have asked this very question of hundreds of girls over the past two decades and the same qualities are mentioned time and time again:
HONEST Trustworthy Friendly Dependable KIND HEARTED
Humorous Forgiving
These qualities are probably the same for many of us mums too. However we need to remember that we should also display these qualities if we are seeking positive and healthy friendships. We will actually attract these same qualities in the friendships we make when we model these ourselves.
When it came time for my daughter to plan her own birthday party, and she had a limited number of guests allowed, she made it a point to hand out her invitations in private and at a time that would not cause upset to others. We cannot possibly protect our daughters from having their feelings hurt or having to deal with difficult people- but we can teach them how to respond and learn valuable life skills about navigating tricky friendships.
MOST FRIENDSHIPS WON’T LAST FOREVER If you had have told me at age 8 that my best friend in the entire world, Karen, would not have been my lifelong friend forever, I would simply not have believed you! But to our daughters, their friendships do seem ‘lifelong’ and permanent. They cannot imagine these relationships ever drifting apart. However the reality is, most of our early friendships don’t continue on forever and this is a good point to teach our daughters. Some friends are with us for a reason, and some for just a season. But each will bring something unique to our lives and perhaps teach us a lesson- even if that lesson is what we don’t want or need in a friend.
BE FRIENDLY! As much as this may seem like such a simple point to make, it is important that our daughters learn to be friendly- even to those who are unkind or cause conflict in our lives. There will always be people who annoy us, or speak rudely to us for no apparent reason. But we are not always privy to what is going on in their lives. If someone is mean or nasty to your daughter, explain to her that we don’t always understand why people choose to be rude to us or react in certain ways. What we can do is demonstrate some grace and act with kindness. A classic situation occurred just yesterday in front of my two children as we paid for our ticket at the parking station of a large shopping centre. As I waited to collect my ticket, an elderly lady behind me snapped ‘Hurry up!”. It took us all by surprise, and I turned to her and just smiled as I grabbed my ticket. It was a perfect teaching opportunity for my children as I explained to them that the lady must be having a tough day to feel the need to snap at perfect strangers and be in such a rush. Rather than snap back at the lady to wait her turn, smiling back at her gently reminded my children that it takes the same amount of energy to smile back, than it would have taken to take a swipe at this woman with my words.
ELBERT HUBBARD SAID: ‘IN ORDER TO HAVE FRIENDS, YOU MUST FIRST BE ONE.’ This is a good mantra to teach our daughters. So often our children complain that they have no real friends, or they are not popular at school. But this quote is a timely reminder that our girls need to practice being a friend. The more you practice being friendly and being interested in others, the more people will be drawn to you. Friendships will always be a lifelong learning opportunity. Hopefully, as we navigate and manage our own friendships as women, we can model to our own daughters how to best take this journey through life. www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
27
BABIES
When getting a good night’s sleep doesn’t go to plan there are a number of common solutions that can be called upon.
Goodnight, Sleep Right by Cassy Small
HAS THERE EVER BEEN A LESS ACCURATE SAYING THAN THE COMMONLY QUOTED ‘SLEEPING LIKE A BABY’. UNDOUBTEDLY THERE’S NOTHING MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN WATCHING THE SOFT EBB AND FLOW OF BREATH FROM A PEACEFULLY SLEEPING BABE. BUT THE JOURNEY TO THAT POINT OF REST CAN OFTEN BE FRAUGHT WITH PROBLEMS AND RESULT IN TEARS FROM BOTH MOTHER AND BABY.
Understanding Sleep
Many of the problems associated with sleep and settling begin with a lack of understanding of what is normal baby behaviour. A series of myths and old wives tales perpetuate the problem and add overwhelm to the long list of emotions felt by an overtired mum. While there’s a wide variety in sleep requirements between individual babies, most under the age of one will require 13 to 15 hours sleep in a 24 hour period. “Newborns will sleep much more than a six month old and the requirement will gradually decrease from there,” explains Clinical Nurse Rosemary Gore of Ellen Barron Family Centre. All babies follow a regular pattern of feed, awake and sleep time, the duration of each stage will change as the baby gets older. “We talk about newborns having a 24 hour clock, they don’t generally develop day night sleep patterns until eight weeks of age,” explains Gore. Until three months babies may only have one hour of awake time, inclusive of a feed, before they go back to sleep. By the time he reaches three months, this awake period can stretch to 90 minutes before having a sleep of between one to one and a half hours. “Overnight you would expect babies of this age to still require a couple of feeds well spaced overnight,” Gore adds. By six months, most babies will still need three daytime sleeps and can be awake for a couple of hours before exhibiting tired signs such as yawning and rubbing eyes. “Breastfed babies may still need a feed overnight at this age. It’s important to find that balance between nutrition and sleep as they both impact each other,” says Gore. Like all of us, babies follow patterns of light and deep sleep. Older
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
children and adults will transition easily between sleep cycles, but unless a baby is an independent sleeper they will need assistance to go back to sleep, and this is where most common problems begin. Problems with sleep commonly begin when babies start to rely on things like a dummy, bottle, breastfeed, patting or rocking to help them drift off. These sleep associations then need to be repeated at regular intervals during the night as the baby transitions back into deep sleep.
IT’S GENERALLY AT THIS POINT ONE OF THE FOLLOWING THREE SLEEP SOLUTIONS IS SOUGHT FROM OVERTIRED PARENTS.
The Private Sleep Consultant
As a qualified midwife and child health nurse, Jan Murray has the depth of experience to solve a wide range of problems. Private sleep consultants such as Jan operate independently and may work with parents via online forums, email, phone calls or in-home visits. Often it’s this outsider’s perspective which proves to be the secret ingredient to a good night’s sleep. While all consultants differ slightly with their approach to in-home visits, Murray sees it as an opportunity to assess how the family is doing as a unit. “I’ll have a good conversation with the parents about the issues they’re having, what they’ve tried to do and how they are coping themselves. We’ll also measure and weigh the baby. Any possible health issue needs to be ruled out before we look at solving sleep,” she says.
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BABIES For new mum Fran, an in-home visit was exactly what she needed. With a partner who worked away, she was left alone to cope with a baby suffering from colic. Sleep deprived and depressed, Fran says her first visit from Jan was an eye opening and life changing experience. “She sat down with me and talked about what a normal day was like for me and then offered a routine that suited me and my situation. We talked through meal ideas and health advice and she gave me some pointers on how to correctly swaddle. After two weeks things had changed completely,” she says. If required, Murray, and most other private sleep consultants, can do overnight visits, but this is mostly in a supporting role to parents. She says many parents feel anxious about hearing their babies cry and extra professional support is helpful. “Controlled crying is a term that has a huge stigma behind it. A little bit of monitored crying with reassurance from the parent is fine, it works. We’re certainly not leaving a baby to cry it out on their own for hours and hours,” she says. Having an in-home visit was the solution to Fran’s problems, and she’s since called on Jan again with her second baby. “I need to sit and talk to someone regarding advice. One on one is more personal and has helped me the best,” she says.
The Book
Nine out of 10 Australian homes with children under the age of two have one of Tizzie Hall’s books on their bookshelf, making her Australia’s biggest selling parenting author. Hall refers to her book Save Our Sleep and subsequent Feeding, Toddler and My Very First Diary companion books as ‘instruction manuals’ and says that any baby can learn to sleep if they are well-fed and warm. Hall’s routines are considered controversial by some in the industry, but she hears from happy mums on a daily basis who swear by her feed sleep routines. “If you follow a routine you know your baby won’t be hungry and you know your breast milk will be its best quality. If you don’t follow a routine you can end up with watery breast milk and a very hungry baby,” she says. Visit www.kidsonthecoast.com.au to join in a conversation on this topic. Carly Morrisby is one such happy mum, and bought her copy of Save Our Sleep when son Max was six months old. Desperate for answers, and a good night’s sleep, she read the book from cover to cover, twice, to familiarise herself with the routines and philosophy. “I started the routine on a Monday and followed it pretty much to the letter. By the Friday he was sleeping through,” she says. However, implementing Tizzie’s routine with her second child Hudson wasn’t quite as easy. Disruptions to his routine at four months of age combined with a clingy toddler meant the strict structure was difficult to adhere to. “When Hudson was 10 months I tried to go back to the routine but it was certainly more challenging than with Max. In hindsight I think I could have been more organised, but when you’re in the moment, feeling tired and your patience has all but gone, it was too tempting to take the easy option,” Carly says. It’s easy for sleep deprived mums to misinterpret information or feel overwhelmed by the process. Hall recognised this and credits her success to the support network which is also associated with the Save Our Sleep franchise. “Parents can join our online support network for a $64.95 annual fee and have access to our team who are available around the clock to answer those simple questions or point parents in the right direction.
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
Finding the solution to settling your unique little cherub in a book may seem too good to be true, but Hall says her routines have been formulated through years of observing what babies do naturally. “Many people who prefer to demand feed find their timings to be similar to the routines in my book, even though they’re not on a routine.” Hall says she has never had a baby her routines don’t work for. “There are some parents that routines don’t work for,” she says. “You have to be organised, and that isn’t always for everyone.” Carly says that before having children she never knew sleep was so difficult. “I still tell anyone that is expecting their first child to read up on sleep issues and I suggest Tizzie’s book. I believe it takes dedication from the mother as it was one of the hardest weeks of my life when I did it with Max,” she says.
The Sleep School
Ellen Barron Family Centre (EBFC) located in the Brisbane suburb of Chermside is often the end of a very long road for many weary parents. The government funded centre accepts up to 20 families a week for a five night stay on a priority basis. It’s a free service and the only one of its kind to cater for families across Queensland, Northern Territory and Northern New South Wales. The centre works with children aged zero to three and provides education and support in the areas of sleep and settling, feeding, development and behaviour and general parenting. Families can be referred to EBFC from their GP, paediatrician or child health nurse after the traditional path of community support hasn’t worked. Clinical Nurse Rosemary Gore says that the most commonly presented issue is problems with sleep and babies, in the 6 to 12 month age range, make up the majority of those that attend. While the age and issues can be narrowed down to a core group, Gore says they work with each family on an individual basis as there is no one size fits all solution. “We spend a lot of time initially getting to know the parents and the problems they’ve been experiencing. Depending on the age of the baby, and the parent’s preferences, we’ll then use one of four techniques,” she says. • ‘Settling in Arms’ refers to calming, or putting the baby to sleep before being placed in the cot. • In ‘Hands on Settling’ the baby will be placed in the cot awake, but the parent will stay with the baby and settle them in the cot. • ‘Comfort Settling’ is teaching the baby to put themselves to sleep without any assistance. • For older children, the ‘Toddler in Bed’ approach encourages toddlers to sleep in their own bed without a parent being with them. While at EBFC with her five month old son Daniel, Sara used the Comfort Settling technique to teach him to self-settle and cure him of a dummy addiction which saw him waking almost hourly at home. “On our first day I stayed with him and patted him to sleep, but after that we left him on his own. It was difficult at times to listen to him cry, but having the staff there to support you was such a big help. It got easier as you started seeing some results,” says Sara. “By the second night, we had gone from getting up to him every one to two hours to only getting up once. He still woke up and cried out a little a few times, but most of the time he would put himself back to sleep,” she adds. Being a parent can be one of the hardest jobs anyone can do, and having a baby that won’t sleep can make a hard job feel impossible. Don’t be afraid to ask for help or share your experiences with other parents. There are many different approaches, theories and thoughts on the best way to assist your baby to sleep better and we have only covered a few in this article. We are not giving breastfeeding advice in this article and if you have any concerns it is best to seek medical advice. You can also join us on Facebook or our website; become part of our community.
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YOU
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
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GOOD HEALTH
YOUR CHILD’S ASTHMA IN SOMEONE ELSE’S HANDS! By Alyssah Padget, Asthma Queensland
I
t’s hard enough to send your child off to day care, kindy or school knowing that someone else becomes responsible for their care – let alone dealing with the frightening possibility of that care involving an escalation in their asthma away from home. Parents are charged with implementing whatever strategies that they can to reduce anxiety for both themselves and their child. Alison is one such parent. Her daughter Emily is soon to turn four. She has moderate asthma and is at day-care two days a week. Emily’s asthma is at its worst when she is suffering a viral respiratory infection. Until recently every cold sent Alison and husband Brett into a state of high alert. “I felt like we were regulars at the Mater kid’s hospital there for a while” says Alison. Emily would have to stay home from day-care while her cold and asthma were at their worst. Even when she was back to complete health after a cold, the family were concerned about an attack away from home. They asked the day-care centre to use Emily’s blue reliever inhaler regularly. “We’d get them to give her two puffs to try and stop the asthma coming on and I’d always give them a call,” says Alison.
PLANNING
In consultation with their physician, the family has chosen to place Emily onto a daily preventer. Alison says “It’s a chewable tablet so it’s very easy for Emily to take”. The whole family is now breathing easier.
Parents of children with asthma should prepare ahead
The centre that Emily attends has a current Asthma Action Plan and there have been no late night trips to the hospital and no unscheduled days at home. Alison commented that “Brett got a call from the centre last week and was asked to come get Emily. Despite my first thoughts, it’s no longer asthma but just all the other stuff that happens to three year olds that we have to worry about!” Emily had hurt her neck but was breathing just fine! Although she was highly complementary of the staff at Emily’s day-care centre and their level of care and attention, what Alison didn’t know was whether the staff had undergone Asthma First Aid training. After learning about the work that Asthma Foundation Queensland does in this area, she is heading off to day-care this week to ask them!
EDUCATION
In 2013, Asthma Foundation Queensland trained 10,876 staff in schools and preschools across the State. In 2014, we are committed to continuing this training in schools and prep, along with adding childcare and sporting clubs to our priorities. Is your child’s school, child care centre or sporting club asthma friendly? You can help every child with asthma to breathe easy by asking this simple question. Asthma continues to take the life of more than one Queenslander each week and one Australian dies every day due to the condition. This is despite the fact that asthma attacks are very preventable and treatable. By providing education, we are helping people to breathe better – giving those with asthma, and their caregivers the confidence to manage asthma. Your support can help to keep kids in school and potentially save a life. Asthma currently affects one in eight Queensland children and is the leading cause of disease burden in those under 14 years of age. It is also the number one reason for hospital emergency room visits by children, and the number one condition for avoidable hospital admissions for kids under 14.
AN ASTHMA RESOLUTION
Parents of children with asthma should prepare ahead of the anticipated ‘back to school’ spike in asthma cases at the start of the year. There is often an increase in asthma cases when children return to school or child care, particularly after the summer holidays for a couple of reasons. Firstly, when we relax on holidays, often so does our medication regime and we become less vigilant in taking our asthma preventer medication. Combine this with the increased number of viruses children encounter when they return to school, and this can be a risky time for some children with asthma. However, parents can be prepared by having their child’s asthma action plan updated by their GP. It is also important for parents to inform the school their child has asthma and provide teaching staff with an asthma action plan, clearly labelled medications and any medication devices (spacers) used by the child.
Take control of your child’s asthma today! Register for Asthma Assist – a free asthma information and support service that offers regular updates on the management of asthma, latest research, new treatments and medications and much more. Visit asthmaaustralia.org.au to register today or call 1800 ASTHMA and speak to one of our friendly Asthma Educators.
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
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Straight teeth the natural way It does not require an exhaustive study to conclude the majority of 21st century children have incorrectly developing jaws and crowded teeth. Any cursory examination will highlight this and although indications of incorrect development can be obvious from as young as five years old, almost universally the professional recommendation is to delay orthodontic treatment until the child is older. This traditional orthodontic treatment often involves extracting teeth to create more room in underdeveloped jaws, mechanically forcing teeth into an aesthetic position with braces or when all else fails, for the most severe cases, surgically breaking then realigning the jaws. While these treatment techniques are, in the short term at least, the most effective means of patching up juvenile orthodontic problems they do not encourage correct natural facial development and they are subject to limitations as well as health risks. Unless the patient commits to lifelong maintenance with permanent retainers the teeth will inevitably return to their previous crowded position. With shortcomings like these, the long-term benefit and viability of these 20th century treatments must be questioned. Unfortunately, even if they do question long-term benefits of traditional orthodontic methods, most parents will not be offered or even informed of any alternative treatment options. Alternative options do exist though and they are becoming increasingly popular with parents who, often because of their own traditional orthodontic treatment experience, are looking for a more natural treatment option for their children with more permanent results. With the backing of 25 years of research and the satisfaction of countless
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast 19/03/2014 4:53 pm
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Do I need a hysterectomy? In Australia 1 in 10 women still require a hysterectomy. The procedure remains the standard treatment for many gynaecological cancers such as ovarian, uterine and cervical malignancies but may also be necessary for other benign conditions where less invasive treatments are not successful. Heavy periods and flooding, painful intercourse and prolapse have a significant impact on the quality of life for many women. Surprisingly a large amount of women accept their symptoms and struggle through hoping that menopause will bring them some relief from their condition. This process may take years to come to fruition and may not fully resolve their issues. Women are exceptionally good at coping and adjusting their lifestyles in order to exist in the modern day. This need not be the case and a visit to the gynaecologist may offer a way to improve lifestyles and free women of significant burden allowing them to lead a more normal life. There are a variety of conditions that are seen in the late 30s and during the 40s leading up to menopause. The main ones are dysfunctional uterine bleeding, adenomyosis, endometriosis and fibroids. Treatment options may be simple including the use of tablets such as Ponstan and Cyklokapron which reduce pain and bleeding, the Mirena IUD, endometrial ablation and finally hysterectomy. Treatment - The Mirena IUD has been available in Australia for the last 14 years and has reduced the number of hysterectomies required by half. It is successful in 80% of women and has a low side effect profile. Endometrial Ablation is a non-hormonal treatment with equal efficacy. The most common type is the Novasure ablation. This procedure takes under 10 minutes and is performed under general anaesthesia. Good for bleeding problems it has an excellent recovery with instantaneous results but may make pain worse.
Hysterectomy: compared to other treatments it is a major procedure but offers a 100% cure of bleeding and a 60-70% reduction in any pain associated with periods. Hysterectomy may be performed with or without removal of ovaries. Most gynaecologists aim to conserve ovaries as it is these organs that produce oestrogen and maintain a woman’s wellbeing. Removal of the womb and cervix will not change the hormonal balance or change intercourse. A recent study has suggested the removal of Fallopian tubes as this reduces the risk of ovarian cancer by 25%. There are different types of hysterectomy offered and this depends on the individual circumstance. Vaginal hysterectomy is by far the best type of procedure in terms of recovery. It requires only a short 1-2 day stay in hospital and shorter recovery. Laparoscopic and laproscope-assisted hysterectomy also have a shorter stay and allow the surgeon to remove the Fallopian tubes with greater ease and visualise the pelvis in case endometriosis requires treating or ovaries require removal. Recovery is slightly longer than vaginal hysterectomy alone. The newest form of hysterectomy is robotic hysterectomy. This procedure has less blood loss and better dissection than traditional laparoscopic procedures and improved recovery. The first robot-assisted hysterectomy in Queensland was performed at John Flynn Private Hospital at the end of last year with the patient discharged in under 20 hours post-surgery and returning to work 1 week later. This technique allows hysterectomies for more complex patients and may make large abdominal cuts obsolete in the future. If you are experiencing problems a gynaecologist may be able to offer treatments that are suitable for you. Do not suffer in silence, maintaining a good quality of life is essential for all women. Hysterectomy is not always required and emotionally undergoing a hysterectomy can be difficult but offers a possible solution. If you are experiencing problems make time for yourself and discuss the possible options with your GP.
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
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APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
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CONVERSATION
WITH ASSIST A SISTA
REPAIR. REBUILD. RESTORE. S
Interview by Jackie Goldston
ometimes it feels easier to bury your head in the ground when it comes to tackling tough topics. Domestic violence is one of those topics that often is discussed in hushed tones.
In South East Queensland, Assist A Sista empowers victims, with the aim of breaking the cycle and enabling them, and their children, to have a fresh start; a comfortable home with all the basics, whilst they continue to heal. Nicolle & Manuela founded Assist A Sista on September 1st 2012. They explain that they are “two working mums with a passion to make a difference in the lives of others.”
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly. Proverb
Until I spoke with them I didn’t know that one in three Australian women are affected by domestic violence. That each night one out of every two women are turned away from emergency accommodation due to lack of beds or that domestic violence is the leading cause of homelessness for women and children in Australia. Every week in Australia, a woman is killed by her partner or a previous partner. In fact, intimate partner violence is the top ranking cause of preventable and premature death among women aged 15 to 44. Domestic violence affects nearly 500,000 Australian women per year. Women are the majority, but men can also be subjected. It affects every community regardless of class, culture or background, young or old. Domestic violence is the misuse of power to gain control over another person. No one deserves to live in fear of domestic violence, especially not children.
MAKING A DIFFERENCE Assist A Sista is a Gold Coast founded community based volunteer organization that helps survivors of domestic violence. Nicolle explains, “We work together to help survivors of domestic violence to rebuild and repair by bringing hope and restoring faith. Through our Facebook page, we facilitate donations of clothing, furniture, non-perishable food items, toys and other essential and non-essential comfort items. We supply these items on a needs basis, to families (who always remain anonymous), via our contacts at Refuges from Northern NSW to Brisbane.” “Our vision is to see Assist A Sista Australia become a household name and be present and active in every city and region across Australia. We currently support Northern New South Wales, Gold Coast, Brisbane, Sunshine Coast and we are on the move!”
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Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
Since they started their work they have assisted more than 70 mums and 150 children by setting up their new homes. Nicolle shares, “We are currently in the process of helping another 5 Mums and 9 children and the number is growing each day as more and more organisations become aware of our service. These figures do not include the countless families that we have assisted through crisis calls of clothing, new underwear, pyjamas and shoes.” “Assist A Sista Australia stands against violence of all kinds against all people – Men, Women and Children should not be subjected to violence. We do not solely assist women and children – in fact, in the time we have been going we have assisted 2 men who have also been subjected to domestic violence and we will continue to do so should men too require our assistance. The reality is, however, women make up the highest percentage of victims of domestic violence.”
SPREADING THE WORD Women (and men) can find Assist a Sista through word of mouth, Facebook and their website. A woman in a refuge may have been referred directly. Manuela explains, “We hope to provide the light at the end of the daunting tunnel for the ladies embarking on their journey of escape and recovery. They are not alone and there is lots of amazing help ready to assist them on their journey forward. Once upon a time a lady might have felt that she would need to return to her previous situation in order to provide her children with the resources and familiar “comforts” of home.” With Assist A Sista on their side there is no need to jeopardize their safety or the safety of their children just for a few things. There is amazing support and encouragement waiting to cheer her forward and commend her for the safe choices she is making for herself and her children. They share, “We currently have 11 000 Likes on our page. Can you imagine the power of what that symbolizes? That means that 11 000 people are encouraging you, wishing you well and commending you for the safe choices that you have made for yourself and your children.” “The most important message we need to get across is that the lady being affected by domestic violence need not feel ashamed or isolated anymore. This is not her shame to be felt. The shame
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CONVERSATION
Words to live by sits solely with the perpetrator. Violence is a choice.” “Together we are breaking down the stigma attached to domestic violence. The time is here to speak out against this repugnant epidemic. With one in three Australian women being affected we need to stop and have a look around. We need to listen when our friends, mothers, sisters or even brothers talk to us and most importantly we need to believe them.”
MAKING IT WORK It seems hard to imagine how the founders of Assist A Sista manage their work and their personal lives as mothers. For Nicolle, life is about finding that perfect balance between work and play. “Just like other working Mums, we are constantly a work in progress to ensure that everything is covered to the best of our ability. Assist A Sista is an organic creature that demands so much of our time just as our families also need us. However, we’ve made a commitment to make them both work - We work hard at making them work. I am lucky in the sense that Manuela and I have a strong partnership and we are both mothers and wives so equally busy, but we share the load of Assist A Sista. Where one needs time with the family, the other jumps in to make sure everything is covered. We’ve got this!” For Manuela, knowing that their families are very supportive of what we are doing makes a huge difference. “They get involved with us and know how passionate we both are so we are very blessed that our families share our vision. Working full time can also be challenging but it’s being aware of having a balance in your life. People have different hobbies that help them relax; this is my hobby and I am very passionate of the cause.”
HOW DOES IT WORK?
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Assist a Sista bridge the gap where support falls short. They meet immediate Crisis Needs by assisting with emergency “Comfort packs” and other emergency supplies, they are relieving some of the immeasurable stress and duress felt by the family when they enter Refuge. They create “Assista Havens” for the family, once they exit a refuge and are commencing their journey towards a safe new life in a new home. There is little or no government support available for these brave families and the women and their children usually arrive to completely bare housing, without the basic necessities and financial security. Assista Havens are completed by teams of passionate volunteer Assistas who create a comfortable home environment for the family using items donated by members of the “Assistahood”, following a specific, tailored call-out on their Facebook page. They then completely transform each house for the family by fitting it with enough beds, furniture, linen, kitchenware, toiletries, curtains, locks, appliances, etc., so it is ready for the family to move in and immediately start focusing upon their healing journey.
www.kidsonthecoast.com.au
Nicolle: “Carpe Diem…Seize the day! My dream is to see apathy and inequality stamped out of our society, so each day I strive to live by what I believe in. I choose to surround myself with colourful, passionate human beings who care. This is Australia, the country where dreams flourish and simple folk can rise up and make a difference in society. Women and Men everywhere can choose to RISE UP AND JOIN THE MOVEMENT to break the cycle of domestic violence. Let’s unite against injustice; speak out for the voices struggling to be heard. Let’s look outwards and see what is happening around us. Let’s SPEAK UP and RISE UP. It’s time to make a difference – because we can! Manuela: “Live Life, give graciously and be kind to yourself. A big influence in my life was my maternal grandmother, who, not only being the Matriarch in the family, was always hardworking and an amazing role model to us as children right through to adulthood. Another was Princess Diana, her unselfishness, courage and hard work, facing many challenges, she continued to inspire everyone around her, a true role model to everyone young and old.”
HOW CAN YOU HELP? Assist a Sista team see the clear need to expand nationwide in order to continue to make a difference and break the cycle of domestic violence. If they have already helped 75 mums just here in southeast Queensland, can you imagine how many women and families across Australia are also in need of assistance? Nicolle believes the Refuges and support organisations “are truly amazing and do tirelessly unrecognized work; however they are feeling the pressure at the coal face of being underfunded, and under staffed to be able to adequately assist the women as they transition onto independent living from Refuge. As one lady exits refuge after 12 weeks another enters straight away from one of many motels where there are more ladies awaiting entry into Refuge having been evacuated from the violence. We are extremely proud to be able to support the support organisations to lessen the burden they feel to adequately support their clients as they transition.” Assist A Sista is a solely volunteer based organization and there are a few ways people can help: • Everybody has a particular strength – be it coordinating, organising, fundraising or even simply being able to utilise their networks to spread the word about Assist A Sista to grow awareness of the organization and the epidemic. • Donations: If you would like to donate items (aka Assistas) “Like” their Facebook page to follow their daily newsfeeds. They post every time items are needed, either for immediate crisis needs, or for specific “wish list”: items requested by those we help via the refuges, or in preparation for the “Haven”. • Spread the Word: As well as “Liking” the Assist A Sista Facebook page, talk about them to your friends, family and work colleagues. The more people that they have involved the more survivors they are able to assist.
NEED HELP? Emergency - 000. If you are in danger right now, call the police or ambulance service. DV Connect Womensline 1800 811 811. Assists women to obtain refuge accommodation, counselling and referral to other services. Kids Helpline - 1800 551 800. A free confidential telephone counselling service for five to 25 year olds Immigrant women’s support service - 07 3846 3490 Domestic Violence Prevention Centre Gold Coast Inc. www.domesticviolence.com.au
If you are a volunteer wanting to join the Assistahood you can make contact with them via their Facebook page Assist A Sista or via their website www.assistasista.com.au. Alternatively you can email them at info@assistasista.com.au. Assist A Sista is a fantastic community driven organization that is looking for more volunteers from all over Australia. This is a community of passionate, change driven individuals who are banding together to make a difference. If you are currently in a violent relationship, we urge you to act and make the call for help when you are in a safe environment to do so. DV Connect 1800 811 811.
APRIL / MAY 2014 – Kids on the Coast
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BOOKS, MOVIES, APPS, GAMES
REVIEWS
BOOKS
MOVIES
APPS
EJ SPY SCHOOL: THE TEST
DISNEY’S MUPPETS MOST WANTED
MATH EVOLVE
Susannah McFarlane, Scholastic Australia, RRP $3.99
In Cinemas April 7. Rated: CTC
Emma Jack loves being at school, but she doesn’t like tests. Sometimes good things come from bad. Join Emma as she starts Spy School. A great start to the exciting new EJ series for girls who are just starting to read chapter books.
The Muppets...Most Wanted finds Kermit and the gang wrapped up in an international crime caper involving the world’s most notorious thieves, a case of mistaken identity, unrequited love, and as always, a great deal of Muppet mayhem. The Muppets will set-off from their home base in Los Angeles on a world tour to amazing locations including Berlin, Madrid, Dublin, and London.
(iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, Android, Kindle Fire). Price: Free-$1.99
TIMMY FAILURE: NOW LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE
Math Evolve is a fabulous combination of arcade and math practice. To be successful in reaching the next level, kids will need to know their addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division facts. As they solve each problem, they also fend off alien attackers. A fun learning app for ages 6 – 9 years.
Stephan Pastis, Walker Books, RRP $17.95
THE LEGO MOVIE
BECK AND BO
"When you lose hope, find it." - Timmy Failure. He doesn t like to pull rank. To reveal that he is founder, president, and CEO of the greatest detective agency in town, perhaps the nation. But he is. And he’s about to crack the biggest case of his generation: a school competition to find a stolen globe. If he can only get his entry form in on time. Ages 7 – 10 years.
In Cinemas April 3. Rated: CTC
(iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, Android). Price: $1.99
An ordinary LEGO minifigure, mistakenly thought to be the extraordinary MasterBuilder, is recruited to join a quest to stop an evil LEGO tyrant from gluing the universe together. The voice cast includes Morgan Freeman, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett and Chris Pratt.
Beck and Bo is a beautiful and creative adventure designed specifically for toddlers and preschoolers. The drag-and-drop interface is easy to use, and the objects easily fall into place when guided. Kids build beautiful, animated scenes by identifying characters, objects and animals and matching them to the environment; and while they do that, they listen to their names and sounds! For ages 3+
To see more visit www.kidsonthecoast.com.au 42
Kids on the Coast – APRIL / MAY 2014
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