Kilgore Magazine Issue 12

Issue 12

MAGAZINE

Kilgore Bulldogs Coach

MIKE WOOD JackRyan’s

Celebrates 1 yr Anniversary

WHAT'S

WITH

THIS

SIGN WWW.KILGOREMAGAZINE.COM

February Events Black History Month celebrating the

Rose Gallery of Pioneer in Gregg County

February 1st thru 28th

The Gregg County Historical Museum’s Black History Month Exhibit pieces together our local history with the broader history of America. Features include local photographs, artifacts and documents significant to the African Americans within our community.

Opening Day Reception

Saturday February 1st • 6:00pm to 7:30pm

Architectural Lecture Series Building On Tradition

The Work of Curtis & Windham Architects

February 20th

Founded in 1992 in Houston, Texas, Curtis & Windham Architects began as a general practice of architecture evolving to later include landscape architecture and interior design. Since the beginning, principals Bill Curtis and Russell Windham have shared a mutual interest in making buildings that combine a deep respect for architectural history with a well-studied knowledge of traditional and classical principals and detailing.

2:00pm & 7:00pm

Free to the Public

214 N. F re

0 donia St. • www.gregghistorical.org • 903-753-584

C O N T E N TS ON THE COVER MIKE WOOD

KilGogh

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ilgore Magazine is proud of the Kilgore Bulldogs.

With a district championship game behind him we wanted to get to know Coach Wood and his take on the 2013-2014 season and his team.

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KilGogh Festival 2014

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Jack Ryan’s Celebrates 1 year Anniversary

Customer Service:

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Kilgore Football Coach : Mike Wood What’s With This Sign

Creative Director:

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Contributing Writers:

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Mary Ramos Fallon Burns Shonda Thomas Amanda Reel

Fallon Burns Mary Ramos Gerald Rogers Barbara Honea Fallon Burns

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Editor:

Mary Ramos

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Contributing Photographers: Sean Landry

Southwest Studios

By: Fallon Burns By: Fallon Burns By: Mary Ramos

By: Fallon Burns

My Advice After A Divorce

By: Gerald Rogers

Advertise in Kilgore Magazine!

To purchase advertising space or submit editorial stories, call 903-757-4444 or email MaryRamos@msn.com

www.KilgoreMagazine.com

Amanda Reel Mike Simpson Amanda Reel

Mailing Address

421 North Center St. Suite A Longview, Texas 75601

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Read Kilgore Magazine online or order your copy for home delivery

Contact Us

Office : 903-757-4444 Fax: 903-236-7541 MaryRamos@msn.com KilgoreMagazine@gmail.com Shonda Thomas 2014 | www.KILGOREMAGAZINE.com | www.facebook.com/KilgoreMagazine

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2014

Calendar of

Events February 1 1 2 4 4 5-7 14 14 17 20 20 22

KHS A Touch of Fame & Fashion Style Show The Ten Tenors :: Belcher Center Groundhog Day U.S. Marine Corps All-Star Jazz Band :: Dodson Auditorium Kilgore Chamber of Commerce 12 @ 12 Luncheon :: Chamber Office Kilgore College Art Symposium Valentine’s Day Bach to the Future :: Classical Meets Jazz 7pm-9pm President’s Day Kilgore Chamber of Commerce Morning Brew 8:30am The Moscow Festival Ballet :: Belcher Center 7pm Kilgore College Ranger Preview Day

March 2 6 7 7-8 9 10-14 17 20 22 27-28 28 29 29

Kilgore Community Concert :: Dodson Auditorium 2:30pm Kilgore Chamber of Commerce Business After Hours 5pm KilGogh :: VIP Meet the Artists, Meadowbrook Country Club 7pm Peter Lee Jackson Concert ft. KHS Orchestra :: Dodson Auditorium 7pm Daylight Savings Time Begins Kilgore College Campus Closed for Spring Break St. Patrick’s Day Kilgore Chamber of Commerce Morning Brew 8:30am Rhinestone & Wranglers East Texas Treatment Center Dance 7pm-12am KilGogh Golf Tournament :: Meadowbrook Firehouse Cafe KilGogh Art Exhibition & Wine Tasting KilGogh Arts Festival 10am-9pm Lone Star Lug Nuts 9th Annual Car Show

For a complete listing of events please visit www.KilgoreMagazine.com

MAGAZINE

We’re a small part of something BIG...

KILG RE Issue 7

THE MAGAZINE ABOUT LIFE IN KILGORE

MAGAZINE

A Texas Tradition That Still Has Legs

Director Dana Blair & Assistant Director Shelley Wayne

WWW.KILGOREMAGAZINE.COM

Issue 11

MAGAZINE

Living and Leading Kilgore Forward WWW.KILGOREMAGAZINE.COM

www.KilgoreMagazine.com 421 N. Center St. • Longview, TX • 903-757-4444 2014 | www.KILGOREMAGAZINE.com | www.facebook.com/KilgoreMagazine

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KilGogh

By: Fallon Burns

I

n March 2013, the KilGogh Arts Festival held a one-night art exhibition in downtown Kilgore that raised more than $13,000 for local nonprofits and charities. The festival was named in honor of post impressionist artist, Vincent van Gogh and is celebrated in honor of his birthday, March 30. The festival recruited 21 artists, from local painters, photographers, metal sculptors and found-art craftsmen to exhibit their pieces.

Longview High School art teacher Jeffery R. Hull won the first competition and is the featured artist for 2014. Hull explains “the event was electric, energy was just throughout the building people were excited. Any time artists can showcase their works and have a venue it’s a win-win for everybody. Artists love to create and it’s fun to get our artwork out in the public’s eye.” Coming off the success of March’s inaugural event, for the second year the arts committee set out to craft a series of events that truly merit the word “festival”.

KidS

All Day Arts’ Festival and KidsGogh in • Downtown Kilgore •

The all-day KilGogh Arts Festival on South Kilgore Street runs from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Saturday, March 29th.

KilGogh will be featuring artwork for viewing and for sale by East Texas artists and visiting contributors as well as a student art competition, live entertainment and the KidsGogh art activity area. Activities include art lessons and projects like charcoal drawing, clay sculpting, finger painting, sand art, water colors with free face painting and henna tattoos. Pairing with Longview-Kilgore Cable TV, the arts festival will conclude with a Cinema Under the Stars outdoor movie at sunset. Free to the public, attendees are encouraged to bring a nonperishable food item to donate to Kilgore’s Helping Hands food closet. For more information, log on to KilGogh.com or call 903-984-2593.

PETER LEE LOHNSON

Introducing Peter • Lee Johnson •

23 year old YouTube sensation Peter Lee Johnson will give two performances for KilGogh, March 7-8. Peter covers contemporary hits and pop mash-ups, then blendes these genres with classical pieces. Mixing contemporary songs with traditional styles and time-honored

classics, can engage audience members on a level they may not experience. His electrified five-string instrument found its calling in the Los Angeles’ urban music scene and have garnered more than 16.5 million views online. According to Johnson, “A lot of it just makes people feel a certain way, and I think it’s great you can have an effect on someone’s feelings by writing out your own with sound. That’s what I think of as music: just making sound that touches light inside of everyone.” He’ll give his first concert, with the Kilgore High School Orchestra members and other local performers at 7 p.m. Saturday, March 8th at Kilgore Colleges’ Dodson Auditorium.

Tristan Roberts, Kilgore High School Orchestra Director says, “We are KILGORE HIGH SCHOOL enthused to give our students the opportunity to work with an artist outside of public education. It will be the biggest venue for our kids to be part of,” he explained. “This will be an opportunity to show the good things the students do and that’s exciting to me.”

General admission tickets for the weekend concert are $12 for adults and $8 for students, available from Kilgore High School Orchestra members, through the Kilgore News Herald, online at plj.kilgogh.com or by calling 903-984-2593.

ORCHESTRA

Event Information: Friday, March 7th • 7:00pm

Meet the Artist Reception with Peter Lee • $50 Meadowbrook Kilgore & Events Center located at 1306 Houston St. plj.kilgogh.com • 903-984-2593

Saturday, March 8th • 7:00pm

Peter Lee Johnson LIVE in concert with the High School Orchestra Kilgore College, Dodson Auditorium • $12 adult, $8 student plj.kilgogh.com • 903-984-2593

Thursday & Friday, March 27 & 28 • 8:00am

KilGolf Tournament Meadowbrook Kilgore & Events Center located at 1306 Houston St. $150 (individual golfer, one day) or $200 (individual golfer, two day) Two-man team registration receives a discount. $200 (one day, per pair) or $300 (two days, per pair) Meadowbrook 903-984-3155, “Kilgore Fire Department” on Facebook or plj.kilgogh.com

Friday, March 28th • 7:00pm - till

KilGogh Art Exhibition & Wine Tasting • $50 Old Kilgore Post Office located at 224 S. Kilgore St & the Texan Theater, across the street at 225 S. Kilgore plj.kilgogh.com, 903-984-2593 or Kilgore News Herald at 610 E. Main Street

Saturday, March 29th • 11:00am - 7:00pm All Day Art’s Festival Downtown Kilgore • Free plj.kilgogh.com • 903-984-2593

• Meet the Artist Reception •

The VIP Meet the Artist Reception at will be held at 7 p.m. on March 7th at Meadowbrook Golf & Events Center. Reception will include dinner, a private mini-concert by Peter Lee Johnson and a piece of autographed merchandise. The $50 VIP tickets include reserved seating at Peter Lee Johnson’s Saturday’s concert as well. For more information, log on to KilGogh.com or call 903-984-2593.

KilG lf

• KilGolf Tournament •

Among a slate of new events for the KilGogh Arts Festival in 2014, the planning committee has partnered with Kilgore Fire Department for a two-day tournament at Meadowbrook Golf & Events Center. Set March 27-28, the golf outing includes two mini-tournaments on Thursday and Friday morning as well as a disc golf tournament Thursday afternoon at Meadowbrook Park and a concert in the Firehouse Bar & Grill Thursday evening.

Upgrading their registration, each golfer can receive a 20 percent discount on a ticket to KilGogh’s Friday night Art Exhibition and Wine Tasting, beginning at 7 p.m. downtown in the Kilgore History & Arts Center and the Texan Theater.

Registration for KilGolf is $150 per individual golfer for one day or $200 for both tournaments and includes cart rental. Twoman team registration receives a discount – one day, per pair, is $200 or the duos can register for both days for $300. For more information, call Meadowbrook at 903-984-3155, follow “Kilgore Fire Department” on Facebook or log on to KilGogh.com.

• KilGogh Art Exhibition & Wine Tasting •

After sitting all but abandoned for decades, the old Kilgore Post Office was filled with energy and art in March 2013 for the first KilGogh Art Exhibition & Wine Tasting – the event returns March 28, once again featuring local and visiting artists, samples of East Texas wines, catered hor d’oeuvres, live entertainment and more. With more than 150 attendees the first exhibition almost outgrew its venue last year. This spring, the Friday night exhibition will expand into the historic Texan Theater across the street at 225 S. Kilgore. Tickets for the event include admission, wine samples and food provided by Kilgore College’s Culinary Arts Program are $50, available online via KilGogh.com, at the Kilgore News Herald or by calling 903-984-2593.

Photos provided by Kilgore News Herald

Kilgore Chamber of Commerce & Kilgore Magazine

1Proudly Congratulates 1

Ambassador of the Year

Candace Cockerham Express Employment Professionals

Chairman Award Nancy McConnell H & R Block

Citizen of the Year David Hampton Habitat for Humanity

Past Chairman Vic Price Orgill, Inc

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JackRyan’s STEAK & CHOPHOUSE Celebrates 1 Year Anniversary

By: Fallon Burns

S

wimming against the current Brad & Wes Ebey have done what many said was impossible. Opening a fine dining restaurant in a historically “oil filed” town of 12,000 does not work well on paper- unless you’re the Ebey brothers. 2013 has brought success to Jack Ryan’s Steak & Chop House and we could not be more excited to tell you why!

What is it like being back in East Texas?

Brad: “Love it. I enjoy hunting and fishing with what little free time I do have. I could not be happier being in Kilgore. We are right in the middle and can pull guest from all over the area. It seems like we are always giving gift cards to the Kilgore Chamber of Commerce and the Boys and Girls Club and I don’t mind. I enjoy supporting the community.”

Wes: “I love Kilgore. I have always told myself I would never move back to East Texas. At first, I was scared. I was leaving a successful business with great friends. Moving here is honestly the best decision I have ever made. I’m here with my family and get to work with Brad every day which has been better than I have ever imagined.”

What are you most proud of ?

Brad: “Reputation and the food. My mother in-law was traveling in Colorado, stopped somewhere and met someone who had just eaten here. You always here good things and don’t know if people are just being nice, it’s nice to know that people are really enjoying my food.”

Wes: “Kilgore has embraced us and what we do, that has allowed us to grow and become successful. We have a fantastic bar with incredible top shelf options that people are requesting. We have Don Perion on the menu. We sold the only 12 bottles that came to the state of Texas.”

What is the secret to your success?

Wes: “Not being scared and diving in. We could have opened a sandwich shop like everyone else but that’s not who we are. We also don’t cut corners, front or back of the house. We do things the way we were trained to do.”

Brad: “Be different. Everyone wants to follow in someone else footsteps, they say this is what works here so let’s do that. The only reason why we have so many people come back is because we are the only ones who serve what we serve.”

What kind of support do you get from your families?

Brad: “My wife Lindsey is very supportive. We have been together for ten years and have been planning this for a long time. I think she has been preparing herself. It’s tough being away so much but it’s a means to an end. When I get a little older I can take some time off.”

Wes: “We could not have done it without pops and I could not be more proud of the way it turned out. In the beginning he worked day in and day out. We all put our hearts and sole in it. We got our ambition from our dad. He wants to see us succeed and we want to show him we can. We want to take care of our family like we were taken care of.”

What have you learned?

Brad: “The most surprising thing to me is people being more adventures in what they eat. We introduced foie gras (duck liver) onto the menu and we sell a case a week.

We sell a lot of nice things and people are jumping for it. You would think that Kilgore is a burger and fries kind of town but people are trying things they have never had.”

What does the future hold?

Wes: “We would like to open another location” Brad: “I would love to expand into catering” Wes, are you excited for the arrival of your new baby?

Wes: “Absolutely! I have wanted a baby for a long time. I am a big kid fan. It’s going to be fun.”

Brad: “I can’t wait. All I hear is how tired he is. Right now he gets to sleep 8 hours straight… he knows nothing. He doesn’t know what tired is. I can’t wait.”

The Ebey brothers have a certain jene sais quoi about them that reminds me of the original boomers that came to Kilgore looking for prosperity so many years ago. The cards were stacked against them, a near impossible mission, but their ambition and drive served them well.

Brad & Wes took a chance on their dream and the people of East Texas jumped right in.

2014 | www.KILGOREMAGAZINE.com | www.facebook.com/KilgoreMagazine

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Central Title

Company

116 N. Kilgore St. • Kilgore, Tx 903.981.0043

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Kilgore Football Coach Mike Wood By: Mary Ramos

ilgore Magazine is proud of the Kilgore Bulldogs. With a district championship game behind him we wanted to get to know Coach Wood and his take on the season and his team.

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Kilgore Magazine: Coach Wood, tell us a little about yourself.

Coach Wood: I was born in Houston, graduated from Kingwood High School in 1985, graduated from Louisiana Tech in 1989.

Married my beautiful wife Michelle in 1993, have 4 great kids, Caleb-18, Jarod-16, Cole-15, Addison-9 Kilgore Magazine: Tell us a little bit about your background in the game of football?

Coach Wood: I played 11 yrs from Jr. High thru college, coached 5 yrs in Louisiana (Ruston 1990 State Championship, Huntington 9192, Airline 93-94). I’ve been coaching in Kilgore since 95.

Kilgore Magazine: When did you know that you wanted to be a coach?

Coach Wood: Football was something that had always been a big part of my life, coaching it just came natural.

Kilgore Magazine: Who was your mentor and or coach?

Coach Wood: I’ve been fortunate to have played for and coached with some great coaches, I’ve taken something from each one.

Kilgore Magazine: How long have you been a coach at Kilgore?

Coach Wood: I’ve been a coach in Kilgore for 19 years.

Kilgore Magazine: How do you prepare your team for a game?

Coach Wood: It’s a week long process, each day has its components, and hopefully it comes together on game day.

Kilgore Magazine: What do you think is the most important aspect of a championship team?

Coach Wood: Togetherness, you’ve got to have good athletes, but they have to be able to play together.

Kilgore Magazine: What are you most proud of in your coaching career?

Coach Wood: Thru the years watching kids grow and achieve things they never imagined they could.

Kilgore Magazine: What part does football play in the overall picture of the school?

Coach Wood: A football season can set the culture and spirit of your school for the year. The excitement on Friday nights brings many groups and organizations together.

Kilgore Magazine: How do you motivate your athletes?

Coach Wood: Hopefully they’re already motivated, teaching them to invest and prepare is the key.

Kilgore Magazine: Describe your day at the State Championship game?

Coach Wood: It was great right up until the end, still a lot of great memories.

Kilgore Magazine: What will the athletes remember about you at the end of the season?

Coach Wood: Hopefully that we gave them the tools they needed to be successful, they will lean on those experiences the rest of their life.

Kilgore Magazine: What was memorable about this year’s football season?

Coach Wood: The atmosphere around the district championship at RE St John and the State game at AT&T Kilgore Magazine: What would you like to say to your team?

Coach Wood: Thank You…. and let them know how proud we are of the things they accomplished, they were a great team and that did it the right way.

Kilgore Magazine: What would you like the parents and fans to know?

Coach Wood: How much their support meant to these players, at this level it’s still a game played by 16, 17 and 18 yr old kids. We’ve got some great fans.

2013-2014 BULLDOGS RANKING Overall: 14-1 District: 6-0 National Rank: 89 State TX Rank: 14 17

Kilgore Dominates

16-3A All-District Team

A

district championship, five playoff wins and a trip to the Class 3A Division I state championship game were collected by Kilgore High School’s football program in the 2013 season, and now, several Bulldogs and their coaches have been recognized by their peers.

Coach Wood and his Ragin’ Red coaching staff were named the “Coaching staff of the year”, and deservedly so, Kilgore went unbeaten in the regular season, ran through the district, and made it all the way to the 3A DI state title game at AT&T Stadium in Arlington. The Bulldogs finished with a 14-1 record, the second-best record in the history of Kilgore High’s football program (16-0 in 2004 being the best). It was also the second-most games in a single season in KHS history.

“Coaches” in District 16-3A, including Kilgore’s Mike Wood, voted on the all-district team.

“Overall Most Valuable Player” goes to none other than Kevrin Justice, one of Kilgore’s running backs.

“Defensive” side of the ball, several Kilgore candidates alone could have legitimately been named the 16-3A defensive MVP, and one KHS player was senior linebacker/ safety Jake Brantley. Brantley shares the defensive player of the year award with Gilmer senior Josh Walker.

Two of the Ragin’ Red’s most dominant defenders were named as a part of the first team “defensive line”: seniors LaDarrin Anthony and DaQuellan “D.Q.” Scott.

“All-district first team offense”, quarterback Benny Colbert.

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By: Barbara Honea

“First team running back”, Kilgore tailback Davieonta “JuJu” Brown.

“First team receiver” Kilgore senior Aaron Foy. Foy also was a dynamic kick returner/punt returner. Joining Foy at “first team defensive back” was teammate Joseph Shepherd, also a senior.

The only “tight end” on the first team was Kilgore’s tight end Jarod Wood.

Kilgore’s “offensive line” fittingly was honored Seniors Clay Wiley and Nolan Grush were named to the all-district first team, as was junior Blake Guthrie.

Not on that list but also contributing greatly to the Bulldogs’ success on the line this season was Gabriel Gough and Austin Clark, both seniors. “Fullback/linebacker”, Andrew Pinter was named to the first team as a utility player.

“Inside linebacker”, Kilgore’s junior Kris Haynes was first team.

Kilgore’s Jordan Thompson, a junior, was named to the “special teams unit of the first team”.

Kilgore players on the “all-district second team” were fullback Jack Johnston, a senior; wide receiver Nick Orange, a junior; kicker Christian Galvan, a sophomore; senior defensive linemen Caleb Wood and Chad Bornes; and senior defensive back Stefun Tatum.

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WHAT'S

WITH

THIS

rSIGN By: Fallon Burns

O

n May 14, 2011 the citizens of Kilgore passed a 55 million dollar bond that allowed the construction of two new school campuses and the renovation of two more.

An impressive element of that project was the restoration the “old drive in movie sign.” Standing 25ft tall with an18ft long marquee, it has stood so long that most people can’t remember life in Kilgore without it. Several non-profit groups attempted to save the sign but the cost was too high. Now it has been repurposed and serves as the entrance to the new campuses.

Kilgore native, Jim Madewell grew up in the apartment under the movie screen. His father, a former City of Kilgore Firefighter, maintained the theater and sold concessions as a second job.

Jim remembers, “We would wear our pajamas and usually make it through the first movie being shown. My mother would make popcorn and we would bring cokes and watch the movie.” According to Revard Pfeffer, KISD Assistant Superintendent of Finance, “after the bond was passed, we 22

had several people tell us how special the sign was and how they hated to see it go.” It’s art deco glass tile, retro red neon and intricate brick work speak to Kilgore’s “hay-day.” It brings back memories, first dates and first loves for many.

The land on which the new campus stands was previously owned by the historic Laird family. Matriarch, Jeane Laird is most known for her passion for crepe myrtles and daffodils.

Her daughter, Robin Brown, remembers, “mother would tell me about how as a little girl, her family would watch for the local Indians on that land.” When the sale of the land was being negotiated, Mrs. Laird’s son, Brant Laird decided to provide the additional funds that would be needed to restore the sign. According to Revard, “it was a win win situation for everyone.

For years the sign stood abandoned, overgrown with weeds.

Amazingly, the steel beams have held their structural integrity.

The fascia brick was repointed and the paint colors were historically matched. All the neon was replaced and an 8ft electronic sign was added to the marque. In tribute to Mrs. Lairds love of beauty and gardening a plaque was placed above the marquee.

“For Jeane Laird wh o believed in Kilgor e and made it mor e beautiful.”

2014 | www.KILGOREMAGAZINE.com | www.facebook.com/KilgoreMagazine

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Each month hundreds of dogs & cats come to the animal shelter through: owner surrender, public drop off and animal control. They need your help to take care of these family pets until they can find their home or are adopted.

Please drop off the following items to the Humane Society of Northeast Texas Shelter:

• Puppy Food • Dry Dog food • Bleach • Dry Cat Food • Cat Litter • Old Towels • Newspapers • Trash Bags • Printer Paper

Your lost pet may be at the Humane Society of Northeast Texas if you live in the following communities:

• Kilgore • Gregg County Longview • Gladewater • White Oak • Gilmer • Lake Cherokee • Ore City

303 Enterprise Street • Longview, Texas • 903-297-2170 • www.hsntx.org 24

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A Great Gift Idea If you wish to receive a copy of Kilgore Magazine or have an out of town family member that would like to receive a copy, we would be glad to add you to our mailing list for a minimal fee of just $15.00 per year (6 issues). Please fill out the form below and mail with a check to Kilgore Magazine, 421 N. Center St., Suite A, Longview Texas 75601.

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My Advice After

A Divorce By: Tony McCullough

By: Gerald Rogers

1. Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2. Protect your own heart. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3. Fall in love over and over again. You will constantly change.

You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today.

Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4. Always see the best in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5. It’s not your job to change or fix her… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6. Take full accountability for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7. Never blame your wife if you get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed.

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♥

♥

♥

♥

♥

You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

8. Allow your woman to just be. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere.

Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9. Be silly… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10. Fill her soul everyday… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11. Be present. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12. Be willing to take her sexually, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13. Don’t be an idiot…. And don’t be afraid of being one either.

You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14. Give her space… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids.

She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15. Be vulnerable… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

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16. Be fully transparent. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17. Never stop growing together… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18. Don’t worry about money. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight.

Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19. Forgive immediately and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back.

FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20. Always choose love. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end marriage isn’t about happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity.

Through that work, the happiness will come. Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late. But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I loved being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love.

One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE: Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from. Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.

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2014 | www.KILGOREMAGAZINE.com | www.facebook.com/KilgoreMagazine

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