DOM KING
October
2018
CHRISTIAN MAGAZINE
KEYS TO BEING
SUCCESSFUL
ANGELA
Jeff Brown
WACHSMAN
LONELY
From Grief to Grace to Recovery
BUT NOT ALONE
DON’T WRESTLE
ALIA WORTHY
Anthony Pastor
Mattox Jr. The Empowerment Church
REST Minister
Donna R. Patrick
Fall
ALLERGIES
MINISTER ANGELA MOSELY
LEADERSHIFT Leading Your Organization UP!
CEO Jesus
PUBLISHER
Xcellence Publications
FOUNDERS
Pastor Greg George Pastor Sharina George
CHEIF EDITOR Sharina George
EDITOR
Angela Wachsman
GRAPHIC DESIGNER Xcellence Marketing
COVER PHOTO Chris Harris
Contributing Writers Donna R. Patrick RD Anderson-Bailey Leslie Elia Alia Worthy Angela Mosley Carmella Hill Brianna Triplett Angela Wachsman Jeff Brown Archi Alexander Genesis 1:28 All rights are reserved and no part of publication can be copied or reproduced without permission from Xcellence Publications LLC.
The Founders
Pastor Greg & Sharina George
CONTENTS COVER ARTICLE
ISSUE 34
OCTOBER 2018
14
4 FOUNDERS PAGE
Pastors Greg & Sharina George
6 DON’T WRESTLE, REST Donna Renay Patrick
8 MINISTRY VS. MARRIAGE Eld. R.D. Anderson-Bailey
10 LONELY BUT NOT ALONE
28
Alia Worthy
12 TARGETING SAVINGS Leslie Elia
14 COVER STORY
Pastor Anthony Mattox The Empowerment Church
18 KEYS TO BEING SUCCESSFUL
Angela Wachsman Alia Worthy
Jeff Brown
10
22 OVERCOMING TRAUMA Evang. Carmella Hill
24 REMEMBER BUT NEVER RETURN Brianna Triplett
26 FALL ALLERGIES
Minister Angela Mosley
Leslie Elia
12
28 FROM GRIEF TO GRACE Angela Wachsman
30 WATCH AND PRAY
Let Him Hear Your Cry Like us on Facebook
KingdomChristianMagazine
Don’t Wrestle
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 139:7-8, 12 NIV)
REST
The Lord your God wins victory after victory and is always with you. He celebrates and sings because of you, and he will refresh your life with his love. (Zephaniah 3:17, CEV)
I
am in the richest season of my life. Not because my bank account is “fat” (it is not), but because of how God has revealed Himself in my life over the last couple of years. He has shown me how to move from wrestling with Him, to resting in Him. During her lifetime, my sister Debra often said, “Experience is the best teacher.” She was saying there are some life lessons that you will not understand until you actually live them for yourself. Life moves and changes very quickly, so we get in a hurry to accomplish our goals, whether God has sanctioned them or not. Moreover, when things don’t go as we planned, we might (a) get upset with God, or (b) begin to doubt our abilities. May I share with you three lessons I’ve learned on my way from wrestling with God to resting in Him? Perhaps you will find yourself in one, or all of them.
Lesson One: Your best self will not come from your comfy place. God’s plan included removing me (albeit kicking and screaming) from my comfort zone. You don’t need faith when things make sense, as much as you do when they don’t. The best YOU is hewn from the dark, uncomfortable places. Why would David be anointed king, and then wind up on Saul’s hit list? Divine order was clearing the way for David, just as it is for you. Jesus was fully God and fully man. However, after His baptism in the Jordan, He was led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil prior to beginning His earthly ministry.
Lesson Two:
Is it possible that God has you in a corrective season? What felt like a hellish place was really God’s grace ushering me to a new level in Him. When I rebranded my radio show earlier this year, it was from a dark place that God had produced a new determination and level of boldness for my purpose. He was purifying my motives and cutting away selfreliance. God has a firm grip on our future, even when we don’t. He has a prepared plan for a prepared vessel. When you are resting in God, you allow Him to BE God.
Lesson Three: Don’t quit. God is under no obligation to explain
Himself. However, you and I are under obligation to remain obedient – regardless of how it feels at the time. I have watched God line up the right people, position me in the right places, and bring divine order into my chaos. Like a good soldier, I remained diligent in tithing, writing, serving in my ministry area(s), and seeking Him in prayer and study of the Word. I kept pressing even when it didn’t make sense. My theme for living has become, Get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Your most powerful testimonies come from your worst experiences. I encourage you to stop wrestling, and just rest.
Minister
DONNA RENAY PATRICK
The Balancing Act Let’s explore what it looks like to tend to your marriage as a man and woman of God. I pray that after you read this article, you deepen your understanding and work to create (and maintain) balance in your marriage. My ultimate goal is to spread awareness and provide you with keys that will reduce the likelihood that your marriage will fail because of imbalance. This is a touchy subject for many, but let’s dig in! First, here is a little background about me. I am a fourth-generation reverend. My great grandfather, grandfather and father were and are pastors and/or preachers. My mother is also a licensed and ordained associate pastor. I was ordained prior to marrying, but most of these people I mentioned were ordained post marriage. My grandfather recently married again after about eight years of being a widow. He is a superintendent within The Church of God in Christ. I have watched his balance within marriage change from the prior stance that “church is the most important thing in my life” to “church is important, but my wife is important also. (Thanks Granny Glo.) I have deep roots in the church and have witnessed first-hand the way ministry and marriage duke it out over the priority seat in one’s heart. That being stated, I love that even my 87-year-old grandfather can learn to balance his 8-month-old marriage and his 50-year-old ministry. Divorce is still trending in the church. I have seen pastors, bishops, elders, lay members and the likes plastered all over social media and all, but ran through the rumor mills of churches all over
for having issues within their marriages. For some people the issue is that they feel like their spouses are not committing to them on the same level as they commit to the work of the Lord. But in some more recent cases, both spouses are in ministry and fail to utilize appropriate balance within their marriages. The number one complaint is that “my spouse is not supportive of God’s call on my life.” The number two complaint is “I didn’t sign up for all of this when I married.” May I just offer that if your spouse seems unsupportive of your call from God, it may be because you left them behind. They weren’t there when you heard God calling for you to move. So it is up to you to share what He said and ask Him to guide you through taking (not guilt tripping, manipulating, or dragging) your spouse along for the journey. To address the latter complaint
of “I didn’t sign up for all of this,” if you had known that God was going to shift your marriage at a point to full-time ministry, you wouldn’t be married to your spouse. You made a blind promise to commit to one another through all of life’s turns. In short, you did sign up for “all of this.” Now ask God to help you help your spouse with navigating you through how it looks. Here are 5 Keys to gaining your balance. Key 1: Marriage is ministry. Serve at home first. Key 2: Notice the imbalance and talk about it when things are heavier on one side over the other. Key 3: Remember God called you to marriage and ministry. You are not single in ministry because you chose to marry and that means you chose to serve in both capacities simultaneously. If you neglect one then you will regret both eventually. Key 4: If one or both of you must go for an extended period of time, synchronize your schedules for time to connect. Connecting means you shut everything and everyone else down for the time that belongs to your spouse and not giving them the leftovers! Key 5: Do not force your spouse to conform to your calling. Share the call with them by sharing your plan for each engagement or assignment and how they will be included. The danger in foregoing this step is that the spouse will start to resent what they are excluded from. The Balancing Act By Eld. R.D. Anderson-Bailey, MFT
@RelationshipDecoder
@TheRelationshipDecoder
www.RelationshipDecoder.com
Lonely, But NOT Alo Lonely But NOT A Overcoming Lonliness
Alia Worthy
Loneliness tends to be one of many issues that many struggles with in our singleness. We live in such a time in society in which it’s perceived that if we aren’t in a relationship, we must be lonely, discontent, or just alone. At one point in time we have all experienced the feeling of loneliness. Loneliness is identified as sadness because of lack of having no friends or community. Marriage doesn’t solve our loneliness but reveals it. I believe we confuse loneliness for being alone. It’s far from the truth. Yes, we may be lonely, but if we have a relationship with Christ we are never alone. Despite the reason why we may feel lonely, here’s six ways to overcome
1) Grow in Christ Christ has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. He promises to constantly be with us. What a great reminder to know that when feeling lonely, we have someone who is constantly with us. People may come and go, but we can stand in knowing the truth that God is with us. Proverbs 18:24 shares, “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother. What great reminder to know that Christ is closer than any person. The reality is there is no one other than God that can fill that place. Christ desires to have a lifelong relationship with us. 2) Hold Your Standard We have all desired the need to feel loved and wanting to belong. Loneliness at times can lead us to a place of
one Alone
SINGLE AND SAVED
compromise. More times than not we stay in toxic relationships due to not wanting to be alone. It’s easy at times to compromise our standards just to keep others around. Know that Christ is greater than our feelings. Allow Him to send the right people in your life at the right time. 3) Build Community One of the greatest assets God has staffed us with as believers is the local church. Finding other believers and a local church community that we can join can also assist us in overcoming loneliness. It’s never been God’s will for us to live isolated. Pray and ask God to direct you to a local church with believers in whom you can grow and build Christ centered relationships with. 4) Serve Serving is a powerful way in shifting our focus from ourselves to others. Finding areas in which we are passionate about is vital in learning to serve. Reach out
to a family member or friend who may need help. Learning to be a helping hand at times helps us keep the focus off of our problems and on Christ and loving others. 5) Learning to Love You Sista! Brother! Quality time is some of the best time. Learning to be okay with spending time with our own self can help with being comfortable with who you are and loving your own company. If we can’t value or be okay with our own selves as individuals, it’s hard to expect that from others. Loving yourself comes with being okay with having that time to just relax and learn more about what you like, and who you are. 6) Grow in the Word The Word of God is full of many biblical truths regarding loneliness and being alone. We must know the truth if we are attempting to pull down and confront lies spoken by the enemy. Finding scriptures to meditate on and really speak out loud can help build our faith. The bible says, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. The more we meditate and repeat God’s Word, the more prone we are to believe it.
Targeted Sav Proverbs 13:16 “A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t, and even brags about it!” Everyone knows we should have a savings account for emergencies. It is a basic principle that Granny taught us, our pastors talk about and every finance book you will ever own will harp on. So, here I am impressing its importance too. But, not just emergency savings, but the next steps as well. Once you have $1,000 saved up for the totally unexpected, your next goal would be to have three to six months of your regular income saved in the event of a job loss, lay off or accident that could have you unemployed for some period of time. If you have already taken these steps and have that money set aside, then it is time to have a targeted savings account. This is covered in Principle 22 of the Green Box I am always promoting. For most of us, a targeted savings is for consumer items. We have already learned that we never put items on our credit card that we cannot pay off the entire balance when the bill comes. Many items we may desire exceed that ability to pay the full balance, so we must save, just like your Grandparents had to. Remember, the first credit card did not even exist until 1958. Opening lines of credit and sending unsolicited credit cards to people did not even exist until then, so keep in mind that this idea of keeping up with the Jones’s is relatively new. Don’t buy into the pressure that you “need” this item when it may be considered a “want” more than a true need. Proverbs 24:27 “Prepare your work outside and make it ready for yourself in the field; afterwards, then, build your house.”
vings
Targeted savings is where you start planning for that new mattress or the drapes you have been waiting 12 years to replace. Targeted savings can be for the first car you will ever buy without financing. Targeted savings can be for that vacation you will take without running up the credit card for. It is amazing and fun to have the ability to do these things and you will never regret paying cash for items that used to cost you hundreds more in interest. 1 Corinthians 16:2 “On the first day of every week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with your income, saving it up, so that when I come no collections will have to be made.� Please consider viewing a seven-minute video that completely explains the benefits of owning the Green Box. I can be reached at ironleslie11@ gmail.com and hope to assist in any way I can.
Leslie Elia
Pastor Anthony & Lady Tiffany Mattox
LEADERSHIFT Leading Your Organization UP!
There is nothing more exciting in an organization than accomplishing a goal. Everyone has a vision for their organization or church. Plans to create impact, expand services or simply grow their organization. However, none of these things are possible without strong, healthy leadership. Leadership is the key to unlocking the hidden potential of every organization. The success of any team, company or church rises and falls on the leadership team. There are many characteristics of a good leader. My goal is to give you some areas that every leader must strengthen to be successful. Every effective leader must have a vision. A vision guides everything your organization does. Before you can lead, you must first ask the question, “where are we trying to go?� Do you know what you want to accomplish? Vision fuels your team. In addition, effective leaders are good communicators. Our job as leaders is to take the vision and give it legs through communicating it effectively to our teams. It is our responsibility to ensure that our teams understand our vision and focus. That communication rests solely with the leader. If the team does not understand, it is the leader that must find new ways to clarify and deliver
Everyone has a vision.
the vision. Communication is key. Many leaders are frustrated, and, in many circumstances, it is due to the team not understanding the vision. The team cannot run with a vision they don’t understand. Leaders at every level must also be accountable. Every leader should have a leader, mentor or Pastor. In my case, my Pastor, Dr. RA Vernon of The Word Church in Cleveland, Ohio holds me accountable. He both encourages and corrects. Many people want encouragement, few want correction. A good leader can handle both. My Pastor stretches me, which in turns stretches my team. Leaders are more successful with accountability. We cannot demand that a team be accountable when their leader answers to no one. A good leader always remains teachable and correctable. A large portion of leadership is also developing strategy. Strategy is simply how you will make the vision a reality. It is developing the process your organization will put in place to get the results you want. Leaders
who lack strategy are essentially missing a plan. It has been said, “when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” A leader must sit down with their team and seek knowledge on how to get their organization to the next level. Strategy is the “how” that your team needs to move effectively. Have you laid out a vision and strategy? One cannot survive without the other. Many leaders spend more time on the “what” than the how. But a vision without strategy will remain a distant dream. Lastly, effective leaders understand that sometimes change takes time. We must develop strong healthy teams when we are trying to build. We must find the right people, deal with transition and communicate the vision. This is no easy task. Look back at your vision and create a new strategy. Communicate your plan to your team and celebrate wins both big and small.
The Bible says, “don’t despise small beginnings.” If you have been feeling down about your organization, feeling like things just simply aren’t moving, be encouraged. Leaders are effective because they keep moving, embrace change and they are not afraid to take risks. My prayer is that all organizations embrace leadership development and organizational structure. It will better align your staff with your vision. In doing so, good leaders will become great leaders.
Anthony
PASTOR MATTOX JR.
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Keys TO BEING
Jeff Brown
SUCCESSFUL
There is much success in your failures!
I have learned in my experience that failure has been my best teacher, but in my failures I learned how to accept my purpose, orchestrated a plan, ignored the distractions and use the distractions as my motivation, and executed my plan. I am a firm believer that every entrepreneur has to experience failure in order to reach their destiny and to achieve success. I have experienced failure over and over again and through time, I learned how to turn my failures into opportunities for success. I understood that even though I experienced failure I knew that I had to adapt and make adjustments, and correct what I was doing wrong that was rendering me results that
caused those failures in my life and business. Also I understood that because I failed it did not make me a loser, but it made me realize that I was one failure away from being successful and achieving my goals. Accepting our purpose isn’t as easy as we may think because there is always a battle within yourself to either be great or not be great and simply just quit‌ because most times we do not want to accept the responsibility of what
it takes to go through the process of being successful because in our human nature we want everything NOW!!! I have always battled with my purpose until I understood that I could only be successful by accepting who God created me to be and accepting the gift of God and His purpose for my life, only understanding that my gift and purpose would only make room for me opening doors of opportunities that would change my life and the life of my family and friends. I also learned in accepting my purpose and the gift of God in my life that my connection (my network) can affect my direction and the right connect
is the key to being successful in business because it’s not always what you know, but who you know and I am a living witness that my success has been built upon my relationships and those relationships believe in my gift and my purpose. Every entrepreneur will face distraction, struggles, and obstacles it’s just a part of the process and nothing is given but only earned. I have learned to use my distractions as my motivation to push myself to be a better person and better entrepreneur, because success without sacrifice isn’t success. Distractions are designed to test our mind, spirit, and will, distractions are not designed to overcome us only if we allow them too. I learned a long time ago that my struggles are tools that allowed for me to develop character and confidence within myself to see if I had what it took to be a leader and successful business man.
Another reason why entrepreneurs such as myself are faced with distractions and sometimes need certain distractions to challenge us, because it reveals who is really in our corner whether family or friends my experience has taught me that distractions can be the closest people or things to you, and can prevent us from achieving our goals. So to be successful you have to acknowledge your distractions and know that distractions has no power unless you give them power and distractions are temporary obstacles that can be overcome!
I am reminded often about the butterfly and bamboo tree, these God created creature and plant both have a purpose and plan that has to be executed in order to reach its full and maximized potential. The butterfly must become a cocoon before it evolves into a beautiful colored wing insect that we are blessed to see in the spring and summer, but it is in the cocoon where the development and process of the butterfly’s transformation takes place before it achieves its ultimate purpose and destiny. As entrepreneurs we must work our plan while we’re in our cocoon experience as we are executing our plans and transforming to the butterfly we are destined to be, so we may just have to eat some dirt before we can fly high. The bamboo tree is planted and water for 5 years and in the fifth year it grows to become 80 to 90 feet tall in 6 weeks, but the process that it takes in order for the bamboo tree to reach its full potential must be executed consistently so that the bamboo tree can fulfill its purpose. Simply this is my mindset that my vision and business is already 90 feet tall before it manifest, so I am determined to work my plan and strategy every day until it reaches its full potential and you must do the same for your business. This short article gives you an inside look into why I am a successful radio host, brand builder, and real estate investor and I encourage you to apply these simple principles so your life and business can be successful and also look into business and life coaching experts because regardless of your financial status we all need someone who can mentor us and push us to be better. I pray that God will give you favor and enlarge your territory.
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TheJeffBrownShow
LET Everything that
has breath
PRAISE THE LORD Psalm 150:6
Mental Health
OVERCOMING Trauma Through Healing
Evangelist Carmella Hill, Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor with supervising credentials (P.C.C.-S). & Founder of Empower to H.O.P.E. Services, LLC.
A
ccording to the National Institute on Mental Health, “a traumatic event is a shocking, scary, or dangerous experience that affects someone emotionally� (www.nimh.nih.gov). It is important to understand that everyone responds or reacts to a traumatic event differently. There are factors that help people cope as well as factors that increase risk for future problems. The trauma happened, now what? Although the resiliency of people is astounding, repeated exposure to traumatic events can be devastating. In toddlers, symptoms of trauma can be increased anxiety, fear, and behavioral aggression. In children, reenactments, sleep problems, and behavioral regression can be the result of a trauma. In adolescents, self-injurious behaviors, substance use/abuse, anger and aggression can be symptoms of trauma. In adults, denial, anger, guilt, shame, self-blame, numbness, sleep/appetite problems, and withdrawing from others can be symptoms of trauma. Exploring thoughts, feelings, and behaviors related to a traumatic event will yield greater results than ignoring these things. Yes, it will be challenging and difficult to deal with but it will help to minimize, maybe even alleviate symptoms. Ways to Cope After Trauma Healing after a trauma can take time. Be patient with yourself and others who have experienced a trauma. The experience was real and its effects are, too. People can learn to adjust and live a fulfilled life but some intentionality is needed in
this process. Journaling can help provide a way to release things bottled up. Seeking professional mental health treatment can be helpful in addressing issues that seems to be impacting overall functioning. Having a support system can help restore someone back to health mentally and emotionally. You are not alone! The tendency to isolate oneself because of feeling like you are the only one having experienced a trauma is dangerous. Others may not have experienced the exact same event; however, there could be similar symptoms and reactions that could help provide a sense of validation. Validating what a person has experienced and his/her feelings and thoughts could help jump start the healing process. Empathy and compassion coming from a loved one or supportive person could help reduce the residual impact of the trauma. Mental Health Tips: • Be aware! Be aware of patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that could be residual effects of a trauma. • Be willing to address issues! When red flags are noticed or realized, be willing to address them in healthy ways. Seek professional help and support. • Recovery & healing is possible! Minimize the tendency to believe “once traumatized, always traumatized.” One can recover and live a healthy life but it requires being purposeful in the process. The conclusion of the matter Yes, the trauma happened but it does not have to continue to live on in your mind. Don’t allow it to occupy any more of your emotional and mental space. You deserve better. The trauma may not have been your fault, but the healing is your responsibility! SELAH
Precious Oil
Remember But Never Return
Brianna Triplett
S
ometimes I get spiritual amnesia. I limit God. I fix my eyes on the trial that I am going through and I become so overwhelmed, I can barely find the words to say in prayer. I find myself going in circles as I try to find a way of escape and get weary as I try to do everything in my power to figure out the solution to the problem. I find myself grumbling and complaining to anyone with ears to listen, hoping that someone will take pity on me and what I have discovered is just like the children of Israel, I end up turning what is supposed to be an 11-day journey, into a 40-year journey in the wilderness because I refuse to trust in the Lord and allow him to direct my path. I can become hesitant to commit my plans to him, to allow him to be my strength when I am weak. I become so afraid and so discouraged by the setbacks on my journey that I believe are preventing me from moving forward that I end up stumbling and hurting myself and getting lost and even going backwards. How many of you have ever been in a tunnel so dark and cold, that you couldn’t see the light, couldn’t feel its warmth? How many of us have been so low that we didn’t know if we could ever get back up? I know I have, and sometimes I find myself worrying about going back to that place. When we find ourselves in or close to that dark tunnel, I think it is important to remember. Remember where God has brought you from and know that if he did it for you before, he can do it for you again, and by the strength of God you never have to return to that dark and depressing place again. But if you ever do, you don’t have to go alone and you can trust God to deliver you. In speaking about the
children of Israel, Psalm 78 says in verse 41 “Yea, they turned back and tempted God, and limited the Holy One of Israel.” How did they limit God? Verse 42 says “They remembered not his power, nor the day when he delivered them from the enemy.” We must remember so that we don’t limit God. He is able to do “exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us.” (Ephesians 3:20.) As believers, that power is within us, but how often do we truly tap into that unlimited potential of who we truly are and whose we are? As humans, we have the tendency to look back over our lives and put a magnifying glass on what went wrong. But let me ask you something. What has gone right? When did God make a way for you out of no way? When did he heal you from a sickness in your body? Protect you from dangers seen and unseen? Deliver you from sin that was keeping you down and bound for years? Answer a prayer, you weren’t sure he was listening to? What Egypt has he freed you from? Remember, but never return. Remember your past victories so that you don’t limit God during future.
Brianna Triplett
FALL ALLERGIES
Minister Angela Mosely
It’s that time of the year for fall allergies. The most common allergy symptoms depends on which part of the body is exposed. If it’s the eyes and nose then you will have watery, itchy eyes; clear, runny mucous; and lots of sneezing. If it’s the lungs you will have wheezing and asthma. If the mouth is exposed you will have itching in the back of the throat, upset stomach, diarrhea and, in extreme cases, anaphylaxis (a lifethreating allergic reaction).
If it’s the skin, you will have hives; itchy dry skin and eczema. In this fall season when the temperature drops and we spend a lot of time indoors with the windows closed we expose ourselves to indoor allergens, such as dust mites and indoor mold. However, you can manage your allergies for both inside and outside by following some survival allergy tips. First tip is to know what are your allergies for indoors and outside. Second tip; find out every day what the pollen level is especially during the morning, when the pollen count is the highest. Third tip, be mindful what you wear. If you go outside wear long sleeves, pants, a hat and sunglasses to keep pollen off your skin and out of your hair and eyes. Fourth tip, remove pollen. One of the best ways to minimize your allergen exposure is to wash pollens off your skin and your hair as soon as possible after spending time outside. The fifth tip is buy a dehumidifier. A dehumidifier helps to keep the humidity levels in your home low and that helps to prevent the growth of mold. Dust mites and mold flourish in a humid environment. The sixth tip is to use an air conditioner. This is another way to help remove moisture from the air especially in your bedroom. Remember to change the filters regularly. The seventh tip is to take your medication as directed. This
is one of the easiest and most effective way you can take to get relief. Now there are over-the -counter allergy drugs that are non-drowsy, long-lasting, and effective. The last tip is to see a doctor or allergist if needed. There are allergy tests that can help identify the cause of your suffering and determine the right treatment for you. If you think you might be one of the more than 50 million Americans that suffer from allergies and asthma, use the ACAAI (American College of Allergy, Asthma and Immunology) website to find an allergist in your area. “He that getteth wisdom loveth his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good.� Proverbs 19:8 (KJV)
Angela Wachsman
from grief to grace and recovery The Lord is “stretching me” to trust in and lean on Him through this “transition period.”
B
y experience, I’ve learned that pain is a motivator forcing me to find solutions. It pushes me into purposeful living, mandates prayer, change, and letting go of the past! It is a key to open doors of endless opportunities, requiring faith to walk through, inspiring hopeful expectations for a fruitful future. Thus, it cannot be denied or ignored, but MUST be acknowledged and worked through. Pain isn’t a place to live, but a stepping stone leading to wisdom, joy, healing, wholeness. What do I mean by “pain”? Physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, financial pain. I’m a stenographer. I work long hours in depositions and transcript production, at times totaling 22-hour days. I worked like that for many months this year until two months ago, when one night I went to bed and the next morning couldn’t stand up straight nor fully walk. I went to the ER, then to my doctor and chiropractor. The pain lessened two weeks later. I eased back into work, then went full throttle again, missed a week of chiropractic care, continued working long nights on transcripts. That week I couldn’t walk again. The culprit: A bulging disc and arthritis. I don’t need surgery, but I’m utilizing non-surgical laser and decompression therapy: Stretching my spine, and adjustments. The Lord is “stretching me” to trust in and lean on Him through this “transition period.” I’d been overworking instead of working to confront the grief from major losses to recover from them. My adoptive mother died last year. I put myself in grief recovery counseling then due to grief, complicated grief, unrealized grief from adoption loss
and other relational losses. I’m so glad I did because I’m not where I was, but right where I need to be: Growing in God’s grace, completing the work, and recovering. Society has this stigma of seeking help for mental health. We go to doctors for our physical health. We must get rid of shame that is attached to seeing a doctor for our emotional and relational health. There’s wisdom in getting help when necessary to live IN health and JOY, which is part of our inheritance IN Christ. Grief is about a broken heart, not about a broken brain. But if not dealt with, it can affect our whole being. It involves emotional pain caused by trauma and loss, whether the death of a loved one, a divorce, or any other loss. We tend to stuff it, not talk about it, fake it ‘til we make it, overwork, push through it, tell ourselves or others to “get over it,” or numb it with short-term relief efforts. This results in unfinished emotions and business. There are many kinds of losses causing anxiety, fear, sorrow: Loss of career, health; a wayward child, death of a child, an adult child coming out as gay, losing a child in a custody battle, veterans with PTSD. Everyone experiences grief and loss. “Incomplete recovery can have a lifelong negative impact on a person’s capacity for happiness,” The Grief Recovery Handbook. How to recover? I realized I couldn’t do it alone. I “chose” to move out of pain. I went to the Lord first and He led me to trustworthy, credentialed professionals that helped me break free from shame, fear and talk about the hard issues with a plan of completion, closure and recovery. I’m now loving, learning, leading, laughing, and living on purpose. For anyone challenged with grief and loss, I recommend the Grief Recovery Handbook and, when necessary, braving it and getting help to navigate from grief and loss to grace and recovery. 2 Corinthians 1:1-5. Angela Wachsman
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