Volume 3, Issue 1
16 October 2018
The Middle School Newspaper at King’s Academy How to Get Over Self-Consciousness by Lara Abuali Self-consciousness is a tough river to cross. It affects almost all of us in the middle school. For most, there is a point where they stop caring what other people think; this usually happens in the ten years between ages 16 and 26; however, the sooner you defeat self-consciousness, the better your life will be. For most of us, self-consciousness is often caring what people think of the way you look, the way you speak, and your general intelligence. It stems out of the fear that others will judge and ridicule you if you do anything awkward or uncool. When you’re purchasing clothing, you may often worry more about whether you’ll be fashionable more than whether you like the clothing. The key to getting over self-consciousness is understanding this: people don’t care about what you look like. The only time someone will judge you for what you wear or how good you look is when you’re a fashion designer, a model, or attending a wedding in a T-shirt and jeans. People won’t judge you for being unintelligent or bad at a certain subject— in fact, more often than not, they’ll help you with it. If you’re having trouble with something— like a stutter, or spelling— people will help, instead of mocking you. If they do mock you, disconnect from them; they’re not worth being in your life. There are certain steps you must take, in no particular order. You must scrutinize yourself in the mirror from head to toe, pinpoint everything you think is wrong, then say to yourself, “I don’t care about these flaws. I’m amazing no matter what.” You must wear that uncool shirt to that popular kid’s birthday party. You must post that picture on Instagram, no matter how much you think that zit on your head stands out. You must wear those glasses to school, even if you feel like a grandma doing it. Finally, you must disregard every standard of ‘awkward’, ‘cringe’, or ‘cool’. Understand that
people, no matter how popular, are just people. Live life for what you enjoy. Remember that you are living your life for yourself, not for other people. Now that you no longer care about what others think, it’s time to start loving yourself. The key to doing so is taking care of yourself and others. Giving to and empathizing with others releases chemicals in the body like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, dubbed the ‘happy trifecta’ by certain psychologists. Taking care of yourself is good for you, too-- exercising produces endorphins in the brain, which reduce pain and make you feel positive. Exercising also reduces cortisol, which is a chemical produced when you are anxious or stressed. Clear away everything that makes you feel bad: that ill-fitting pair of shorts, that friend that makes you feel bad with their snarky comments or that old pair of scissors you still have in your room that irritate you because they’re so blunt. If, for example, your mother keeps on making rude comments about your appearance, tell her how you feel, and she’ll improve. Getting rid of these bothersome parts of your life contribute to your wellbeing. You’ll feel much better. Once you’ve terminated all of the negatives that you can, it’s time to create positives. If you’re bad at science, for example, you can either work to get better at science or understand that it’s not the end of the world if you just don’t understand those pesky Lewis structures. If you hate the way your hair flops over your eyebrows and makes you look like you’re always wearing a brown helmet, ask if you can have a haircut. Chip off the old parts of you that you don’t like and replace them with things you do like. Improving yourself is not the same as completely changing yourself. It may take a few months to make a habit out of being better, but once you have the hang of it, liking yourself will come easy.
Introducing the New Faculty