Winter 2012

Happy Holidays WINTER 2012 $5.00

For the Informed Family

Dreaming of a

FAMILY

Sexting

what you should know!

When DISCIPLINE Goes too Far

Immune Boosters for Cold & Flu

www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

Thinking

OUTSIDE the

Gift Box HOME for the

Holiday

Photo by Zeudi Hinds

H Contents H Pregnancy

8

32 Make The Most Of Your Holidays

Dreaming of a Family Follow this couple’s journey from two to three

Birth

10

Tips for this Christmas season

The Waiting Game When it comes to choosing a birth date, baby knows best

Health & Wellness

34 Upgrade The Sandwich Becoming creative with your kids lunch box.

36 Boosting your Immune System An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure especially during cold and flu season.

Baby

13 Welcome to the World Matayah Lee.

Little Ones

38 A Green Christmas

Be more environmentally conscious this Christmas.

18 The Original Freedom Fighter Defining the two year old.

20 We Can Go Back Bringing manners back to the table

ON THE COVER Micah Simmons Photography – Sabrina wilkinson www.sabrinawilkinson.com

Photo by Zeudi Hinds

Giving more of oneself to your family during this holiday season.

22 May I Sit In The Front Seat

Car seats are just as important for the older child

Going beyond the presents under the tree to teach the meaning of giving

Tweens & Teens

28 Sexting What You Should Know The dangers that lie behind today’s essential tool - the cellphone.

30 When Discipline Goes To Far When a community has to grapple with how far is to far

Photo by Jessica Terra

45 Home for the Holidays

Big Kids

24 Thinking Outside The Gift Box

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Dads Corner

H H H H H H H H

Bermuda Parent Families

. . . . . . . . . 6

Adventures of a New Dad. .

. . . . . . . 14

Journey of a Single Parent.

. . . . . . . 43

Godpa Speaks. .

Rising Stars.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46

Finds & Favourites .

BPM Kids.

. . . . . . . . . . . . 48

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

Parent Directory. .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

Contents

Photo by Zeudi Hinds

6 4

3 0 6 8

0 0

ds

Editor’s Note |||

Publisher & Editor Katrina Ball Business Consultant Vic Ball Advertising Sales Shawnette Smith, Katrina Ball Website Advanced Services Creative Services Total Marketing & Communications Ltd. Writers and Contributors Henry Adderley, Peter Backeberg, Dr. Kuni Frith-Black, Catherine Burns, Lt.Col. Edward Lamb, Mikaela Ian Pearman, Nevillene Ball-Wachter, Carla Zuill, Family Centre and Godpa

It’s that time of year again. Lots of parties, family traditions and wonderful new memories are just on the horizon. The key is to not get overwhelmed by it all – put your expectations to the side, and live in the moment. I am sure this is all easier said than done, especially when you think that Bermuda Families have had a challenging year. What comes to mind is family values and returning to a simpler life. All the bells and whistles that one would normally have may need to be scaled back the article ‘A Green Christmas’ may be the change you put in place. Put on your thinking caps, get creative and engage in the whole family to create something unique but memorable as in our article ‘Think Outside the Gift Box’.

Plan to go into 2013 as a family unit, when things get tight take it as a great time to build everyone’s character including your own (as you are a model before your children) and live a simpler, happier life.

We look forward to 2013 and everything that it has in store for our family and yours.

May God be with each of you.

Contributing Photographers Sacha Blackburne, Lana Bull, Zeudi Hinds, Theresa Millet, Becky Spencer, Jessica Terra, Sharon Wilson, and Sabrina Wilkinson.

Katrina Ball, Editor and mom to Elijah three, and Enoch 10 months

Wishes to say

Bermuda Parent Magazine is published four times a year. Reader correspondence, photo submissions and editorial submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment editorially on all material contributed. No portion of this magazine maybe reproduced without express written consent of the publisher. The opinions expressed by contributors or writers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this magazine. Distribution of this product does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services herein.

Thank You

Lt Col David Burch - Prisons

The Green Family – Somerset Primary Bermuda Security Group – West End Primary Tinee Furbert – Lyceum Preschool Bermuda Pest Control - 200 magazines

Contact us Email: info@bermudaparentmagazine.com Tel: 504-2937 Printed by Martin Printing Co. Inc.

For sponsoring magazines to the above for recognizing the importance of Parenting within our community.

If you would like to sponsor a school to receive Bermuda Parent Magazines email us at subscribe@ bermudaparentmagazine.com Advertise your camp, business, product or service with

WWW.

Magazine.com

View our: Articles • Calendar Events • Directory 4 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

SUGAR RUSH CAKES

Happy Holidays

SUGAR RUSH CAKES

Happy Birthday to...

Meera Darrell

M’Rickal

(pronounced miracle)

Celebrate your child’s birthday!

Tiana Tucker She is my heartbeat, my EVERYTHING! M’Rickal her name speaks for itself. Her existence gives me meaningful purpose! Happy Birthday Baby Girl, may God continue to bless you!

I love you with my entire being....Love Mommy

December 31 Do you have an March, April or May baby?

Email us at:

Happy 3rd Birthday to our beautiful daughter Meera.

You have been counting down to this day for months now and it’s finally here! Today we are celebrating you.

Your smile, your laughter, your hugs, your enthusiasm, your energy, your endless questions, and most of all your precious love.

You are the light of our lives.

We love you very much!

Mommy, Daddy, your new Baby Sister and all your loved ones in Bermuda & Canada.

January 17

Samaiya

Milan Russell

Happy 8th birthday to my little ROCKSTAR! Samaiya, we are so proud of you. Keep being the sweet, intelligent and fun person you are – we love you so very much!

Hugs and kisses from Mommy, Daddy, Italyaa, Ziza and “Cupcake” November 23

submitphotos@bermudaparentmagazine.com with a photo and details.

Kiara Cheeseman

Happy 8th Birthday Kiara, Love Mommy, Daddy, Tyrese and Jayden December 19

Alexa

Kristie Brianna Matthie.

Everyone should be told, You will be 7 years old.

Happy Birthday to YOU! You are our big Birthday Girl, So do a big birthday twirl ... and smile and enjoy your day!

Happy Birthday Alexa!

Love Mommy, Daddy and Tarryn.

January 28th

Nadia

Kayla Rose

Helena Sousa

Calveley

Happy 4th birthday to our beautiful girl!

Wish you nothing but happiness on your special day.

Siniah Lambe

Lots of love, Daddy, Mommy & Charlie xxxx

Happy 7th birthday to our little princess we love you from mommy, daddy, and entire family

December 27

December 22

A-zjonte Williams

James Caulder

Happy 6th Birthday Azjonte. May your love for God increase day by day.

December 19

Keep up the good work and positive attitude.

We are so proud of you.Love your family.

December 14th

“Happy 2nd Birthday James!

Wishing you another year full of spashes and bubbles!”

Happy 3rd Birthday Nadia!!!!! Love, Daddy, Mommy and Tyler February 22nd

Jeremiah Grant Happy birthday to our little prince, we love you rom mommy, daddy, and entire family January 20th

P

Bemuda Parent Families SEE YOUR FAMILY HERE!

Show off your fabulous family! Send in your photo and name

of your family to submitphotos@bermudaparentmagazine.com

6  |||   www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

Phot

Pregnancy

Photo by Zeudi Hinds

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 7

Pregnancy |||

Dreaming of a Family

By Pamela Fraser

Before we got married we dreamed of having a large family together, but we put our dreams on hold as we decided to move to Bermuda and enjoy time together while building some financial stability for our future family. We felt like we were being responsible, ensuring we could give our children a good life.

After we turned 31, we decided it was time. We started trying to conceive. After the first few months of nothing happening, I felt, deep down that something was wrong. I started extra vitamins and supplements I’d read could help. I was taking my basal body temperature every morning and using ovulation predictor kits. Nothing seemed to work.

My doctor ordered several tests and my husband’s sperm analysis was excellent. I had unexplained infertility. I was put on Clomid and got pregnant after two months! We felt our prayers had been answered. We told our entire families and close friends after the seven week ultrasound when we saw a little heartbeat. Little did we know our dreams would be dashed. When we went for a follow-up two weeks later, we learned there was no longer a heartbeat. We fell into a downward spiral of grief and only pulled out of it when we decided we needed to keep going. We were determined to have a baby and wouldn’t let this terrible sadness stop us. I still have the picture of that first little baby.

After several more months of Clomid, and nearing the two year mark in our journey, we decided to try Intra-Uterine Insemination cycles. They failed so we finally booked a consult to do In Vitro Fertilization. Over the next year we did four IVF cycles abroad. Two resulted in pregnancies that only lasted about seven weeks, and the next two were negative. IVF was a difficult process. I went into it thinking it was the last resort and would definitely work. Even the shots were worth it knowing they would finally make our dreams come true. The cost was considerable. It was physically and emotionally draining. Still, we were determined not to give up. We decided to change clinics and try again.

By this time, I was well into trying anything else I could to help our chances. I’d taken countless other tests, got second and third opinions, started acupuncture, massage, yoga, herbs, meditation, cleanses… If there was any chance it could help, I did it.

We had a great feeling about our new clinic and loved our doctors. Our first cycle at this clinic worked, however I 8 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

miscarried at 12 weeks. At this point I decided to give my body and spirit a break. One can only handle so much heartache. I remember reading that the level of depression of someone struggling with infertility is similar to that of someone suffering from a terminal illness. I was happy for my fertile friends, but I was so very sad for us. Every day we felt like we were constantly under a black cloud. We were starting to imagine life without ever having children. I turned to the Paperwhites support group (www. paperwhitesbermuda.com) here in Bermuda. It helped a lot. I quit work for a year so we could look back on this journey without any regrets. We went back for our sixth cycle of IVF. This last cycle was the one! Every ultrasound was perfect. After four miscarriages, we were excited but afraid to celebrate so we kept the news to ourselves. But with every passing appointment we started to realize we might actually be taking home a baby!

On August 15th, 2012, our little boy was born. There are no words to describe the feeling. Five years of heartache vanished at the sight of our perfect angel. We searched and searched for positive stories to give us hope throughout our journey, so I hope this can inspire someone out there.

Paperwhites is Bermuda’s only peer-led infertility support group. It was created to share knowledge, feelings and hope for those trying to conceive or expand their family. Meetings are free and take place at Spirit House from 6-7:30 on the first Tuesday of each month. Please see the website for more information: http://www.paperwhitesbermuda.com/.

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 9

Photograph by Sacha Blackburne

Birth |||

The Waiting Game: Why Baby Knows Best

By Debby Amis, RN, BSN, CD(DONA), LCCE, FACCE

Patience is truly a virtue after 9 long months, especially when you’re a few weeks or days from your due date. The swollen feet, extra pounds and late-night bathroom trips can take their toll.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just schedule your baby’s birth and get the show on the road?

Elective induction offers the satisfaction of knowing your baby’s birth date in advance, but it might not go as planned. Sometimes women scheduled for induction are bumped from the hospital agenda because the staff is busy. Plus, induction doubles your risk of cesarean birth. The major risk of elective induction is that your baby may not be ready to be born. Experts agree that a normal pregnancy lasts between 38 and 42 weeks, and research indicates that the baby actually initiates the labor process. Once his lungs are fully mature, he releases a protein that tells his mother’s body that it’s time. A baby born even a few weeks early is at an increased risk for breathing problems, admission to special-care nurseries and breastfeeding difficulties.

Inductions & Interventions An induction usually requires more interventions than a naturally starting birth. You will need IV fluids and continuous electronic fetal monitoring, making you less mobile. Also,

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artificial contractions may peak sooner and be more intense than natural ones. You are therefore more likely to request an epidural, which increases your chances of needing forceps or vacuum assistance, developing a fever and/or requiring a cesarean section. Plus, the most common medication used for induction (Pitocin) interferes with the release of hormones that promote birth happening normally and breastfeeding.

Because of these risks, some hospitals do not offer or limit elective inductions. “It seems that, if we are too cavalier about inducing labor for the convenience of either the mother or the provider, we are ignoring the baby’s essential contribution and asking him to participate even when he is not ready,” says Biddy Fein, CNM, who attends births at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston. “We accept this as necessary when the risks of continuing pregnancy outweigh the benefits.

But in all other circumstances, we should be respectful of nature’s plan for the initiation of labor and the exquisite interplay between mother and baby.”

Baby Makes the Date If there are valid medical reasons for labor induction, your health-care provider will weigh the benefits of immediate delivery versus continuing the pregnancy for the health of

Photograph by Sacha Blackburne

your baby. But if you are like the majority of women who have a healthy pregnancy, the safest option for you and your baby is to wait for labor to begin on its own. Your baby may decide to come on his due date (although less than 10 percent of babies do), but you may want to plan for a later date in case your pregnancy does extend to 42 weeks.

If your pregnancy lasts longer than expected, try not to worry. Continue normal activities and remember that you are giving your baby the best start by allowing him to decide when he is ready to make his grand entrance into the world.

This article was reprinted with permission from Lamaze International and is available on the Lamaze parent resource Web site along with many more helpful tips and advice for pregnancy, birth and parenting.

Bermuda’s Breast Specialists Dr. David Green, our onsite radiologist breast specialist and overseas specialist breast pathologists will ensure you receive the best possible expert and specialist care available in Bermuda.

Early morning, late day and Saturdays (2nd & 4th) appointments, central Paget location

236-1001

46 Point Finger Rd.

www.chc.bm BERMUDA PARENT ||| 11

Baby |||

Photograph by Lana Bull

Welcome to the world‌

Matayah

Gavin Recalls Matayah’s Birth The nine month journey had come to its wonderful conclusion on 15th August 2012 at 6:08pm for Monique and I. We had been at the hospital from the day prior; as our little Matayah was still enjoying the comfort of her mother’s womb. I had reluctantly left them in the care of KEMH and returned the following morning for what was to be an absolute miracle unfolding before our eyes. Monique had decided upon her pain relief months before this day, and the NO2 gas had served its purpose. It was now time for the epidural to be administered.

Having spent the last thirty-six hours waiting for the arrival of our daughter, I had decided to take a nap. Unbeknownst to me, Dr. Wendy Woods was conducting a dilation check and she suggested to Monique, “Let’s give it a try”. I woke up thinking that I missed the whole miracle unfold. Fortunately, I had not missed it and Matayah Makere Madelyn Sarah Lee was on her way.

As a father, I did feel helpless as I wanted to help more; but what could I do? Monique was pushing extremely hard and with Dr. Woods’ expert coaching, the actual delivery took approximately 45 minutes before she handed me the scissors and I was able to cut the umbilical cord. It was the next best feeling to holding Monique’s hand and then seeing a full head of black hair coming out of the birth canal and a close second to that of being the first person to hold her – Monique has that honour of course.

Our daughter, who had been kicking my hand from inside her Mother’s womb for the past few months, was finally here! Those helpless feelings were replaced with pride, humbleness and the biggest smile that you can imagine. We are truly Blessed.

Monique’s View of Matayah’s Birth On August 15th at 6:08pm, Gavin and I became the proud parents of a beautiful 6.68 pound baby girl named Matayah. The process of welcoming our wonderful daughter started much earlier, the day before. I was a week overdue and my Doctor recommended that Matayah needed a little encouragement to join us, so the decision was made to induce my labor. Unknown to Gavin and I, the process would take all day and night to move the labor along. My daughter was not budging. I finally started to feel labor movements around 8 am, so they decided to move me into the labor delivery room. My birth plan for pain management was to start with the gas and determine if I need stronger pain medications after that. I was able to use the gas and manage the pain up until about 3pm.

At this time, we decided to go to the next level of pain medication. By 4pm I still was not fully dilated and my patience had left me due to the pain now being too uncomfortable to manage. Therefore, we decided to bring on the epidural. Once I received the epidural, I fell asleep to wake a couple hours later by my doctor asking me if I was ready. The Doctor decided to check the cervix to see how I was dilating, and that’s when I realized I didn’t see Gavin anywhere. I later learned he was curled up in a corner chair sleeping. Before I could look around to find him the Doctor said, “look likes it’s time” Within a blink of an eye, Gavin was standing next to me rubbing my back as I started to push. I swear only 20 minutes of pushing and Matayah was here. I didn’t feel any pain due to the epidural, but I was aware of the whole experience of giving birth to our daughter.

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 13

Photo by Jessica Terra

Daddy Faux Pas Preparing to be a Dad is a lot of responsibility, so it was particularly discouraging to blunder two weeks before the baby even arrived.

It was all part of building a new awareness, but still, you want to at least start off on the right foot: I was sitting in the cinema at the end a movie, by myself, because my pregnant wife didn’t want to watch violence or squeeze into a theatre seat for three hours. When children appeared on the screen, I smiled thinking, ‘Ah babies, I’m going to have one of those very soon..., Oh (expletive).’

By Peter Backeberg

notice that. So to distract her, and turn things back in my favor, I proceeded to explain my knowledge of the labour cycle, to which she responded, “Unless my water broke.”

I suck as a father, already!

It was then that I realized I’d taken the car and left my due-in-twoweeks wife alone at home, and I’d left my cell phone behind.

Turns out a friend had called, felt sorry for her being left at home and invited her out to dinner. Not wanting to be a pain, Deb said she would go next door and borrow her mom’s car and meet her at the restaurant. Only to find that her mom had gone out as well. So my pretty-much-due wife was left at home, alone, with no transportation and with no way to reach me.

I suck as a father, already.

Oops.

Then the important information I had gleaned from our baby classes kicked in: Even if she had gone into labor when I walked out the door she would still be hours from needing to go to the hospital.

But she did get a free dinner, which is nice, and I got left over pizza after the movie. Her mom also promised to let us know her plans from there on in. I took a lot of stick for that one. Imagine if I had arrived home to a note that read, “I’ve gone to the hospital, see you when you get there... Dad!”

Confident in my education I drove home calmly and was happy to find Deb sitting watching TV. When I walked in she says, “Guess what, you forgot your phone.” I had hoped she wouldn’t 14 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

Photo by Jessica Terra

Purchasing Second-hand Children’s Products Buying second-hand children’s products is an affordable way to equip a nursery. But it can also be dangerous as some items can be out of date and no longer safe.

Some children’s products, especially cribs and bassinets have caused deaths and have been the subject of numerous recalls.

Check our website, www.ca.gov.bm before you purchase any children’s products second-hand.

Tel. 441-297-7627 • E-mail: consumers@gov.bm • Web: www.ca.gov.bm

“News Flash”

Pure water

costs less thaN gas & you caN driNk it!

Did you know Pure Water costs even less when collected at our plant!

Happy Faces, Happy Learning, Happy Future…

Where your child’s day begins with God’s blessings!

Bermuda’s premier early childhood educational center, ‘Where quality education remains affordable.’

Accepting applications for school year 2012-2013, Ages 2-4.

b e r m u d a w at e r w o r k s l i m i t e d tel . 236-1288 fax . 236-7784 e - m a i l : p u r e w at e r @ b w l . b m

Academics places an emphasis on language, computer and music program(s).

EmAil: hAppymomEnts123@yAhoo.com

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 15

Working together to develop the whole child.

Mount Saint Agnes Academy offers a safe and caring environment where students are nurtured at every level. Our smaller class sizes encourage interactive learning with teachers focusing on individual learning needs and promoting critical thinking and problem solving. The Mount Saint Agnes Academy Through Faith and Learning

combination of MSA’s world class curriculum, daily infusion of Catholic values and the expertise of our dedicated Faculty and Staff ensures that your child receives the most complete education available in Bermuda.

We invite parents or guardians who are interested in enrolling their child in MSA, to submit applications for the 2013/14 School Year. Potential students will be academically screened and interviewed by the Principal, together with his or her parent(s) or guardian(s). Application forms can be obtained from the MSA website at www.msa.bm or contact the School Office.

19 Dundonald Street West Hamilton HM 09, Bermuda Telephone: 441-292-4134 Email: msaoffice@msa.bm

www.msa.bm

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Little Ones

Photo by Zeudi Hinds

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 17

Little Ones|||

By Skye Thomas We call him the Buddha Napoleon. Anyone who’s ever lived with a two year old knows exactly what I’m talking about. He’s this amazing blend of cosmic beauty, love, and peace while simultaneously making it crystal clear that he’s the grand dictator of the known universe. His little size never deters him from anything he sets his mind to. I’d forgotten so much since raising my first two children. The ten and twelve year age difference allows for that. Lucky for the Buddha Napoleon, I’ve had practice and am therefore a lot more knowledgeable and patient this time around.

Two-Year Olds:

The Original Freedom Fighters

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Photograph by Sacha Blackburne

I believe this is probably the most important year for his social development. During the first year of a baby’s life, we’re supposed to set a solid foundation of love and trust. That first year puts in place a basic belief that the world is a wonderful place full of love and light, or it’s not. The second year, we teach them to believe in themselves. Get up and walk, learn to speak, learn to manipulate toys, learn that ever important can-do attitude. After the second birthday, it’s all about personal power and boundaries. How do we get what we want from others? How do we stay out of trouble? Why do all of these stupid rules exist anyway? Do I have a right to tell you “No” since you say it to me all of the time? What are the consequences if I give in all of the time? And if I don’t give in, then what? Am I in charge of my life or are you? I think it’s a miniature version of the same dynamics we go through with our teenagers. They’re just revisiting these same questions from a taller and more hormonal perspective. Handle the two year old stage well, and I think you’ll find the teenage years aren’t nearly so difficult.

Remember back to when you were thirteen… did your folks answer your questions with, “Because I said so” or did they actually give you real reasons for their decisions? Which had a bigger impact on your ability to honor and respect their view point? It’s no different with two year olds. Find the vocabulary that they understand and explain to them why they can’t scream at the top of their lungs just to hear the echo throughout the grocery store. It hurts my ears. It hurts everyone in the stores ears, and that’s not okay. Explain why they can’t kick and pound on you while you are buckling them into the car seat. That hurts me, and I don’t like it.

Quite often they’ll quit. You’ll still have days when they’ll do it anyway, but they’ll completely

Little Ones|||

understand why they’re getting busted. They’ll know that it’s because they made a choice not because you’re just being mean for the heck of it. Over and over, you have to keep telling them why. They also need to see you enforce the rules on others too.

Role model for them that everyone in the house is being held by the same standards of behavior. Conduct yourself accordingly.

Eventually, they’ll come to agree with the rules if they understand the reasoning behind them. “Because I said so” isn’t a reason that any self-respecting two year old will ever embrace.

Self-respect is a very important aspect that I think too many parents downplay in raising their children. How is someone supposed to come away with any kind of self-respect if they’ve been raised to never ever disagree or question authority? My favorite is when I hear people say, “Don’t say no to me, I’m your mother!” The fact that people are capable of breeding doesn’t make them right! If you want your child to respect you and to speak to you with respect, then earn it. Children are very observant. Do you practice what you preach? Do you scream and yell at them and then bust them for doing the same thing back to you? They mimic your behaviors because you represent what it is to be a grown up in society. Do you spank first and ask questions second? Then they will too. Do you want a child who grows up to be a follower or a leader? If you punish them every time they try to take the lead, then they will either avoid leadership, or they will punish anyone who gets in their way.

Give your child the right to say “No.” Tell your two year old it’s okay to say “No, I don’t want Uncle Johnny to pick me up and tickle me right now.” Then, make Uncle Johnny respect your toddler’s personal space. Later, when the child is in someone else’s space, you can remind them of how it feels as you explain why they need to back off.

The key to this is to teach your child about presentation and about listening skills. Its okay to disagree with me, but you can’t scream and yell and kick. Its okay to tell me no, but you also have to listen to my side of the argument too. You then have to role model what it is you want from them. You have to listen to their reasons and then they have to listen to yours. Teach them negotiation skills. Teach them how to say no so that it’s not offensive. Sure it’s a lot easier to just deny them the right to disagree, but it’ll come back on you when they’re teenagers. Almost everyone disagreed with me when I gave my older two kids permission to question authority and to openly argue their point. I just made sure they were polite and respectful while doing so. Their teachers and babysitters weren’t always thrilled, but communications were always open and honest and understandings were always reached. My older two have a solid belief in setting personal boundaries and not allowing others to take advantage. And so does the Buddha Napoleon.

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 19

Little Ones|||

We Can Go Back!

By Trudy Snaith, Etiquette Consultant

When people discover I am an etiquette consultant, the most common sentiment expressed to me is nostalgia for the way things ‘used to be’ in Bermuda. Part of Bermudas charm was always its people and how they interacted with others. I wouldn’t say that we were unique but we did make the kind of favorable impression that Bermuda became renowned for. I am the type of person who sees a glass as half full, not half empty and I am convinced that it is possible to go back and draw upon the positive things in our past that enriched our lives. The evidence is all around us and I invite you to join me on the journey to rediscover Bermuda as the enriching experience it ‘should’ be and ‘can’ become again.

I’ll look for examples in our daily lives where attention to etiquette, good manners and civility can make a difference and comment on them. I welcome feedback from readers with examples of their own and offer my advice.

Children in restaurants Everyone enjoys going out to eat and children are no different. I cannot recall ever seeing a child being reluctantly dragged into a restaurant. Like everyone else, they are excited about going and look forward to new experiences. Last week, I took my class of seven, 6 ½ year olds to a well known 5 star restaurant for dinner.

One parent’s comment to me was that I was brave to do it. But it is a learning experience for the children and I never hesitate to include it in my program. There is no magic formula to making this work for children. It’s just simple preparation and realistic expectations. If you tell them ahead of time what they can expect and what is expected of them, you have a much better chance of compliance. A basic rule of good manners is to consider the feelings of others in whatever we do. Dining out should be a pleasant experience and everyone must do their best to make certain they are not responsible for making it otherwise. So here are a few pointers for all ages that set the stage for getting us back to our etiquette roots:

There is not a doubt in my mind of the positive impact adherence to these pointers can have.

The restaurant proprietor becomes open to accepting reservations that include children because he knows it is possible for them to behave in a manner that will not disturb others. Diners noticing well behaved children will be inclined to consider including their own children the next time they dine out. Doing things as a family enriches our lives. Children gain from the experience of meeting expectations set for them and learn how behavior influences others view of a person.

I see restaurant behavior that is less than ideal all the time but I know it is good manners not to comment on it.

moments t ogether

so good

• Be on time • Remember what you’ve been told about ‘restaurant voices’ • Do not make unreasonable demands of wait staff • A nd for children, know the child you are offering this experience to well enough to recognize their limit. When they’ve reached it – it’s time to go. There will always be another time 20 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

21 Queen Street | 296-4532 |

www.kfc.bm

Big Kids Photo by inHarmony

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 21

Big Kids|||

“May I Sit In the Front Seat?”

A few months ago I honored my nine year-old cousin’s request to accompany me on an errand. Instinctively he opened the front door and hopped into the front passenger seat. He wasn’t thrilled when I “reminded” him that he could not ride in the front seat. He even referenced his custom of sitting in the front seat with other people. Recognizing my lack of empathy he reluctantly climbed over to the backseat. I heard the click of his seatbelt then started the ignition.

It is still illegal in Bermuda for children to ride in the front passenger seat or unrestrained in the back seat of vehicles. But from Dockyard to Clearwater, seat belt laws are broken every day. This lack of understanding and acceptance of vehicle safety is nothing new on the island. I can vividly recall traveling with friends, in the trunk of hatchbacks, with the backdoor open as a child. If we think about the evolution of our vehicles, their volume and driver impoliteness we can understand why the 2003 Seatbelt Regulations are necessary—especially for our children.

If our maximum speed limit of 35 km/h sounds like a cause for a lack of attention to vehicle safety, consider that in a frontal collision an unrestrained person continues moving forward at the speed prior to the crash. They will then hit the inside of the vehicle at a slightly reduced speed. A collision at 35 km/h is like a 1-story fall onto concrete. The faster a vehicle is driven, the harder it hits on impact. (A 40 km/h crash is like a 2-story fall.) In the event of a collision a car safety seat will significantly reduce the injury or death of an infant or child.

Photo by Tinee Furbert

Restraints are the most important safety feature in a vehicle; however they must be used correctly to be effective. A child has to be at least 80lbs before they are legally allowed in the front seat. Seatbelts are designed for adult use and a smaller child is at a greater risk of injury or death from the belt itself and the font airbag. Though Bermuda does not have safety check stations or certified car restraint installers we can still keep our children safe. We must be mindful that road safety data from the United States, United Kingdom and European Union reveal that most child car restraint systems are incorrectly installed.

Let us remember to do the following: • Lead by example and buckle up.

• B uy a new car restraint system and register with the manufacturer for recall notices.

• R ead the manual of the car seat AND your vehicle before installing—check the weight and height limitations.

• S ecure the car seat tightly so that it does not move more than an inch forward or sideways.

• C heck that a child in a booster seat is using a 3-point adult belt with the lap strap on their pelvis (not stomach) and the diagonal strap on their shoulder (not neck).

• S tart the ignition only after all passengers are restrained in their belts. Drivers are accountable for children under 14 years.

• C onsider exchanging/selling your vehicle or using other modes of transportation if it does not have rear seat belts.

• Contact

the Road Safety Officer in the Transport Control Department for requirement clarification 292-1271.

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Our children are treasures and the future of our country. Teaching them these healthy habits will save lives.

Rear Facing Car Seat

Forward Facing Car Seat

Quick Tips for Children in Car Seats Make sure, if you are using a pumpkin seat/infant car seat externally outside of the car with infant contained, make sure the harness is buckled snugly around your child when transferring from house to car

Infant (up to 1 year and 19 lbs)

Small Child (20lb-39lbs)

REAR SEAT OF CAR

REAR SEAT OF CAR

It is best to keep a child in rear facing car restraints as long as possible and to use a 3-point adult strap.

Best if secured with a 3-point adult strap in the back slots.

The harness is included in the seat.

The harness between the legs prevents sliding.

The head should not be above the back of the seat

The harness between the legs prevents sliding.

The head should not be above the back of the seat

Booster Seat

Large Child (81lbs and up) FRONT SEAT OF CAR The diagonal strap should be on the shoulder and chest while the lap belt should be on the pelvis.

Small Child (40lbs – 80lbs) REAR SEAT OF CAR Booster seats are used with adult seat belts and 3-point straps are best. The diagonal strap should be on the shoulder and chest while the lap belt should be on the pelvis.

Do put an infant (up to 1 year or 20 pounds in weight) in rear-facing car seat at a 45 degree angle. If it is too flat, your baby could slip down; if it is too upright, the infants head could fall forward and limit air way Make sure to put a rolled positioner alongside your baby body if he is small, to provide optimal head, body and airway support (that could be a rolled towel, or support positioner Make sure your child rides in the backseat. The back seat of a vehicle is generally the safest place in an accident. If your vehicle has air bags, it is important for children 12 and under to ride in the back A child who is older than 1 year old and weighs between 20 and 40lbs should be restrained in a forward facing child safety seat Have children over 40 lbs use a booster seat with a full harness as long as possible, until he is at least 40lbs. Then a belt positioning booster seat can be used as it helps the adult lap and shoulder belt fit better. A new study found that high back boosters are safer in side impact crashes than backless ones For the most protection, place the harness straps in the slots below your baby’s shoulders when his seat is rear facing and above your child shoulders when his seat is forward facing References: Transport Control Department, Bermuda, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Tinee Furbert - Occupational Therapist (Medical House)

The high back is designed for use in vehicles that have no head restraints.

Graduation out of a booster seat is determined by a proper fit in the adult belt.

Lynniece Nisbett Garnett MPH has been in the environmental health and safety field for more than 10 years. Her daughters Lynnae (8) and Kya Lynn (6) ride in their booster seats daily.

Email her at lynns.ehs@gmail.com.

Useful Resources for Parents http://www.gov.bm TCD/Transport Control Department/Road Safety http://www.bermudalaws.com Motor Car Act 1951 http://euroncap.com Comparable Car Safety Ratings http://www.childcarseats.org.uk Child Car Seat Facts http://www.nhtsa.gov/ Child Car Seat Facts

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 23

Big Kids|||

This Year…

Think Outside the Gift Box!

By Nevillene D. Ball-Wachter, M.Ed. With the holidays here, all of a sudden our weekends are filled with hustle and bustle...whether its parties, seeing Santa at the Christmas parade, school pageants, etc. And don’t forget all the visits to the mall (or trips overseas) for gift buying. It’s a busy time for the entire family, but what I have found are the most special holiday moments, are those spent at home, during “family time.”

It’s important to build in some opportunities for relaxation and family togetherness during these hectic days. It’s also important to recognize that we can create meaning and memories at Christmas time that go beyond giving (and setting the expectations for) our kids the latest and greatest gifts.

So this year, why not think outside of the box? Find gifts that will make memories and bring some meaning to the holiday! Here are some ideas to get your family thinking outside the gift box:

Charitable Giving Now, we know that Christmas isn’t always about those directly around us - though it can be hard to remember that in the hurricane of wrapping, baking and decorating leading up to the big day!

Living here in Bermuda, we have so much while millions around the world go without food, clothes, a safe place to live and so much more. In the spirit of giving, we can model compassion for others during this Christmas season, and spark your child’s sense of obligation to help those in need. ADRA’s Really Useful Gift Catalogue (http://giftcatalog.adra.org) provides dozens of practical ideas to help the vulnerable, hungry, or impoverished. For instance, a $40 gift brings clean water and sanitation to students in Togo, while $67 pays for training of teachers of special needs students, and ensures these children receive physiotherapy. Worldvision (http://donate.worldvision.org) also has a popular catalog that features gifts like a goat and two chickens for $100 to provide the nourishment of milk, cheese, and eggs for hungry children in Uganda. Consider sitting down with your children, and allow them to connect with those across the globe in need.

Experience Gifts Sometimes it seems like we can’t fit one more toy into our children’s bedroom/playroom, but every holiday season we give them more and more stuff. And while a new toy is always fun to open and 24 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

enjoy, an “experience gift” will leave them with memories that can never be lost, broken or even outgrown. Whether you take a child to a play or concert, enrol them in a class or give a family a membership to a favourite local attraction, you’ll be extending the holiday season throughout the year and—very possibly—sparking their passions for years to come.

H Spark your child’s passion by enrolling her in a class in the coming year, with everything from dance to music, swimming, art or acting lessons and much more.

H A ny family would be thrilled to receive a membership to BAZM, BUEI, Sandys 360, etc—an entire year’s worth of experiences all wrapped into one gift.

The Gift of Time If you truly want to make your child feel special, spend some quality one-on-one time together! Dinner and a movie, a day at the aquarium, a walk together around Spittal Pond, or a special sleepover at Grandpa and Grandma’s house could be the experience your child treasures more than any other gift this holiday season. Parents appreciate the gift of time too, so why not offer to babysit while friends enjoy a rare evening out or take the kids for an afternoon while Mom soaks in the tub with a good book?

All in all, holidays can certainly be stressful, but only as hectic as we allow them to be. Instead of following the rut, think about ways to give the season more meaning. Helping others, having family experiences together and giving the simple, yet invaluable gift of quality time will make this Christmas a season of memories your child won’t soon forget!

Nevillene Ball-Wachter holds a Masters degree in education with a special emphasis on instructive technology. She is a special education specialist for the Ministry of Education, is leading a camp for special needs children at WindReach this summer, and is a devoted mother of four children.

Presents

The Annual

St ory

LIVE

Come join us

Sunday December 16th 5pm -7pm.

Nativity starts at 5pm until 6pm .

Light refreshments will be served 6pm until 7pm.

GIVE GIFTS THAT GIVE BACK TO YOUR COMMUNITY This Christmas, give a gift that will last a lifetime ...

... help us make a difference, all year long.

Give a charitable gift and spread holiday cheer!

Donate online at

www.windreachbermuda.bm Or mail a cheque to WindReach, P.O. Box WK654, Warwick WKBX For more information call 238-2469 or visit our website www.windreachbermuda.bm

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 25

The Onionpatch Academy Ages 3 months – 5 years • Open 7:30AM – 6PM Tel. 441.29-ONION (296-6466) • Fax. 441.236.5912 www.opacademy.bm • info@opacademy.bm

26 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

Photograph by Sabrina Wilkinson

Tweens & Teens

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 27

Tweens & Teens |||

Sexting: What you should know!

By Carla Zuill Remember the old days when you were a teenager? If you met someone new and wanted to talk to them outside of school you would most likely tear out a page from your exercise book and hand them your phone number. Your parents had rules—no calls after a certain time and when you did use the phone it was for a limited time as call waiting wasn’t even heard of (remember the notorious busy signal?).

Fast forward to 2012. Everywhere you turn, youngsters are walking around with hunched necks, fingers moving a mile a minute as they tell their friends who they just left ten minutes ago the recent happenings. Why? Because they most likely have some sort of smartphone device. If you stop and ask a young person why they need a smartphone, the answer, to them, is simple: “Everybody has one!”

While there are many positives of having a phone in an era when everyone is constantly on the move, there is a dark side to instant messaging that some parents may not be aware of.

And its irresponsible usage can wreak total havoc in a young person’s life.

Meet Kayla. Kayla is a 16-year-old student who has owned a Blackberry® (most commonly known as a ‘BB’) since she was in middle school.

“I didn’t want one but my mom gave me one so that I can

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connect with her at all times. She gave me a Blackberry ® so that if I couldn’t talk then at least I could bb her.”

And Kayla has been hooked ever since. While she says having her phone comes with rules (“I can’t make phone calls after 11; can’t bb after 2 a.m.”), Kayla admits that her mother does not diligently check her phone at all times.

“She takes it from me randomly to see what I am up to. I remember when she found out that I had a boyfriend by looking at my phone. She was upset to have found out that way. I should have told her but that’s just the way she found out.”

When asked what she primarily uses her phone for outside of communicating with loved ones, she responds: “To talk to my boyfriend when I have one. Although I may see him at school, we can’t talk much or hold hands so we catch up in the evenings on bb. Sometimes we prefer bb-ing to talking. It depends on the mood we are in.”

Although she says that she does not use her phone to share pictures of her private parts, an action that is prevalent amongst her peers, Kayla recalls one incident which had devastating effects: “A friend of mine went to a party and got really drunk. Not fully aware of her actions, she did some things that she should not have done and a bunch of guys recorded it. This happened on a Saturday. By the first period of school on Monday, everybody

who had a bb received the video of her. She was humiliated but the guys thought it was funny.”

Kayla continues: “The main reason why I don’t do stuff like that is because guys are cold. They do not care if they are hurting someone by spreading a video or pictures around. And the scary part is they will do to it anyone. The girls who do this are either posing for the pictures willingly or send them to the guys. They think it’s in confidence and the next thing you know everything is on bb.

I’ve asked some guys how could they do that to females and some reply that they have to because of peer pressure. They may show one of their friends, who will tell their friends and then next thing you know everybody has the pictures.”

Kayla issues this warning to her female peers: “Don’t send out pictures of private parts or sexual acts to these guys…because in the click of a button, everybody will see it…both in Bermuda and overseas.”

CALL US TODAY FOR A FREE SECURITY ASSESSMENT

protecting families for over 40yrs 292.8181 | www.bsg.bm BERMUDA PARENT ||| 29

Tweens & Teens |||

When Discipline Goes Too Far

By A Concerned Parent Most of us have memories of being disciplined as a child.

Whether it was a smack on the hand, a time out or a beating with a belt, it wasn’t anything pleasant. We live in a society where corporal punishment is acceptable and pretty much the norm.

Getting a whopping or a cut tail is common in Bermuda and is rarely seen as a negative. As adults, we often swap stories of how our parents would beat us with a belt or tell us to go outside and get a switch. But when does discipline turn into assault? At what point has a parent used excessive force?

A week later, the boy’s mother was also acquitted even though she admitted she hit her son with a belt.

In the courts recently, a woman and her husband were on trial for assaulting her seven-year-old son and causing him bodily harm. The boy testified and told the court his step-father beat him on one occasion with a golden brown belt with metal holes in it. He said his mother beat him on a different day with a smaller black belt with metal holes in it. According to reports, pictures were shown of the boy with bruises on his leg and backside. But Senior Magistrate Archibald Warner ruled that the step-father, a police officer had no case to answer. He had denied ever hitting the boy with a belt.

Sheelagh Cooper, founder and chair of the Coalition for the Protection of Children said parents must determine the line between corporal punishment and abuse and society must reexamine the right of parents to implement corporal punishment.

“At a minimum Bermuda needs a clear definition between what constitutes acceptable physical punishment for children and what is child abuse. “The recent case involving the acquittal of a woman who admittedly belted and beat her seven year old son has underscored the need to clarify this distinction. “Currently, corporal punishment is within the parent’s rights to discipline their children. “Regarding child abuse, the legislation in the Children Act leaves the door open for a broad interpretation of what can be judged in court to be abuse.”

The Bermuda Sun reported that Mr Warner said: “I have carefully considered the extensive and forceful submissions supported by the authorities led by Ms Mulligan for the crown. “I have carefully considered the meaning of corroboration and it’s application in these type of cases. “It’s the duty of the trial judge, in this case me, to carefully identify what pieces of evidence, if any that are capable of corroborating the evidence of a child such as (the victim). “In all the circumstances, I find that there is no evidence in this case that is capable of corroborating the victim’s case that it was the defendant who struck him with a belt causing the injuries as shown in the exhibits in the case. “I rule that there is not case for him to answer. There is a case for (the boy’s mother) to answer.”

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The Royal Gazette reported Mr Warner ruled that the woman did not use unreasonable force when she hit the child with a belt.

“What I do find is a mother with strong views on discipline but there is nothing to indicate she went overboard, and the use of a belt was not unreasonable,” said Mr Warner. “I’m not satisfied that the force used was unreasonable. I therefore find you not guilty and discharge you.”

Mrs Cooper said there is no clear definition.

“The only time the Act comes close to a definition is in discussion of who can be entered into a child abuse register, ‘The minister shall enter the name of a person and such information as the Minister may determine in the Register where… the court finds that a child has suffered significant harm at the hand of that person.’ “In an earlier section, ‘significant harm’ in relation to a child is defined as ‘ill-treatment or impairment of heath or development of a child.’ But ill-treatment is still vague and open

Tweens & Teens |||

to interpretation.” Mrs Cooper continued: “Distinctions should be drawn between an act of physical punishment such spanking that causes pain but does not leave a mark and more forceful interventions that result in injury, leaving bruises or welts or those that break the skin. “This is done in adult assault cases with the distinction between common assault, actual bodily harm and grievous bodily harm.” She said in the United States, the Department of Health clearly distinguishes between physical punishment which intentionally causes ‘bodily pain’ and physical abuse which is ‘the infliction of physical injury.’ “In the above-mentioned case the young boy who was repeatedly belted by his parent, photographic evidence illustrated that there was clearly serious physical injury. “Despite this, the senior magistrate stated ‘I am not satisfied that the force used was unreasonable.’ “Such a conclusion, though hard to believe, is entirely within the Magistrates remit because the law is so vague on the subject.

“Surely there is no justification for punishment that is so harsh that it leaves marks, bruises or breaks the skin. “This must be considered unreasonable and excessive.”

Mrs Cooper said in the UK, spanking a child is legal but it must not leave in a mark. In Canada, spanking is also allowed but only with a bare hand. Nicola Feldman, Executive Director of the CPC spoke on the negative effects of corporal punishment on children. “There is ample research to prove corporal punishment is not an effective method for discipline and has both short and long term detrimental effects on children. “Research indicates that physical punishment does not promote long-term, internalized compliance in children and is actually associated with less internalization of norms for appropriate behavior and compliance. “Furthermore, the mental health impact of corporal punishment results in children feeling distress, anger, fear, shame and disgust.

“It is associated with higher levels of child aggression and antisocial behavior including fighting, bullying and general behavioral problems as well as decreased capacity for children to internalize socially acceptable behavior. “Physical punishment is also proven to put children at increased risk for mental health problems including anxiety, depression, addiction and general psychological maladjustment. “This is also proven to persist into adulthood. “Research proves that children who are subject to corporal punishment are more likely to be adult abusers and engage in criminal and violent behavior as a way to handle conflict.” Mrs Cooper said there is also a link between corporal punishment and aggressive, violent behaviour as an adult as most violent offenders had been victims of child abuse. “Research elsewhere hears out this connection making it all that much more important to be very clear in the legislation of what constitutes abuse.”

Editor’s Note: Ms Feldman’s Research data was obtained from the American Psychoanalytic Association and is corroborated by research published from the Centre for Effective Disciple in Ohio.

Quotes on the court case were from The Royal Gazette and Bermuda Sun.

441 737 5077 info@zeudihindsphotography.com www.facebook.com/zeudihindsphotography www.zeudihindsphotography.com

Tweens & Teens |||

Make the MOST of Your Holidays

The holiday season is upon us and parents deserve a bit of support as they endeavor to make it a special time for the family. Whatever your family situation may be - the holidays are likely to magnify your feelings about it. Every family is unique so any discussion about the holidays has to start with embracing your personal reality. Therefore, our holiday message is a list of things to consider.

Hopefully, there is a little something for everyone.

1. C hildren thrive when they are cared for and nurtured by a

community or extended family. The holidays are a good time to honor that community. Making efforts to ensure that both parents, grandparents, cousins, dear friends, mentors and others are included, reminds children that they are part of a network of people who care about them.

Each community member offers different strengths and no single person is enough to teach a child all they need to know about themselves or the world they live in.

2. B uild traditions that are rooted in caring. Material things

come and go so costly traditions are hard to preserve.

Perfection is hard to achieve so precise traditions can lead to anxiety. Simple traditions like building things out of materials at hand or cooking something creative together make memories that are fun to pass down to the next generation.

3. T he holidays are a perfect time to teach compassion.

Whatever your beliefs may be, compassion and care for others is a message that reaches kids. They are new explorers in this world and they want to believe that it is a safe place for them and others. Being thoughtful and caring in your holiday traditions can include patience, consideration and charity.

4. S peaking of patience, it helps to remember that children are surrounded by holiday activities, sugary snacks and disrupted routines. Kids get exhausted and confused.

Remembering this can help you on one of those days when your child is either too tired or too excited to be at their best. Try to keep your cool and guide them rather than losing your temper.

5. Y ou may also find yourself exhausted if your not careful.

The holidays add a lot of extra duties while we continue to work, grocery shop, drive to appointments, help with homework and generally function. It can become a marathon event and that may lead to too much stress.

Holiday stress management is about small bites. Find time for a quiet bath, some exercise, read a book or go for a walk. You can turn the music up and dance your socks off in the living room if that does it for you but find a little space each day to recharge.

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6. M aintain routines as much as possible. The holidays come with a big school break. There are parties and shopping and get-togethers galore. You have to pick and choose the activities that offer quality without losing track of your responsibilities and peace of mind. Children need normal bedtimes, healthy food and some regular caring attention in order to be at their best. These things often get compromised during the busy holiday season. Families can’t avoid that completely without missing out on the fun but try to maintain a goal of healthy routines.

7. M any families are made up of more than one home. Moms

and dads who co-parent but live separate lives have to make tough decisions during the holidays. The top priority has to be the wellbeing of the children. Be careful to not compete or compare. Even parents who live together were raised in different homes with different traditions and expectations. Your child is made up of both of you and always will be, so making room for diversity and acceptance at the holidays can be a lesson that will help them throughout their lifetime.

8. W atch your budget. Normal holiday stress can become a

family crisis if we let the pressure of holiday marketing and good intentions lead us to overspend. One thing that can help is to keep a list of the things that you see your child enjoys or wants. You may not be able to buy a lot or their favorite thing but a list may help you find something nice that you can afford. Cooking, arts and crafts and playtime together go a long way toward happiness. Maintain your financial stability and model good habits for your children by keeping the holiday spending from getting out of control.

9. B e careful to not set yourself or others up with inflated

relationship expectations. The holidays tend to come with a lot of memories and many families find that they somehow unpack their unresolved hurts and resentments during the holiday season. It may be that you are ready to resolve an old heartache or it may be time to be forgiving. It is worth exploring and finding the answers that will set you and others free but the holiday dinner table is probably not going to be the most therapeutic environment for achieving progress.

10. Finally, what would the holidays be without gratitude and

appreciation? That tends to be the message of the holiday season but the holidays can easily bring out the best and worst of us. One thing is for sure. You wont teach those qualities by demanding them. Parents teach gratitude and appreciation over a lifetime and not through gift giving.

The example we set is our greatest teaching. Children are a gift and we can show them and tell them about our gratitude for their love and trust.

The holidays are a time for peace and good will. Children are innocent and deserve that from us all year round. The holidays are also a time of demanding schedules and high expectations from friends, family and society. Give yourself and your children the gift of a clear head and remember that family togetherness and the wholesome messages of the holidays are to be lived and not crammed into two weeks or wrapped with a bow. Make the holidays about love in your home first and add extras as your budget and situation allow.

If you would like more information on this topic you can contact Family Centre and ask to speak with the Community Support Worker at 232-1116

CALLING ALL VOLUNTEERS More parents are having the courage to raise their hands and ask for our help, yet Family Centre won’t have the capacity to meet these needs without you. We need you to step up and help out by volunteering at our fundraising activities and events so we can ensure we’re able to keep providing these much needed services.

Bermudian families need your help.

Please register to become a volunteer today.

To volunTeer, Call 232–1116 or visiT www.tfc.Bm FC03-0979_PARENT_MAG_FIN.indd 1

1/13/12 2:39 BERMUDA PARENT |||PM 33

Health & Wellness|||

Pictured – top to bottom

apricot jam and chia seed on wholewheat, Applegate ham on a wholegrain round flatbread, hummus on Rudi’s organic oat bread and banana and almond butter on multigrain gluten-free.

Nutrition for Natural Kids Lunch box tip: Upgrade your sandwiches!

Lunch boxes. They should be so simple and yet, by the time you’ve navigated your way round the school’s policies and your kids’ preferences, it can be tricky. So, you need a peanut-free, trashfree, egg-free, anything-with-a-slippery-consistency-free lunch?

What’s the problem? Inspiration at an all-time low? Believe me, I’ve had moments when I would rather stick my head in the microwave than conjure up another lunch. However, they do tend to be the moments when I have fallen foul of my golden rule – planning.

Generally I find that if I’ve shopped well, packing lunches can be easy. It’s when I’m staring at an empty fridge, faced with three eggs and a zucchini that I really have a problem. There have been many occasions when I’ve sent the girls off to school with a frittata because I have run out of bread. I am sure it makes me look like Martha Stewart when the reality is very different!

Sandwiches are a great go-to for the main or snack part of a lunch box – especially if you can follow these little tricks for making them healthy. Here are some tips to help you maximize the nutrition: Bread Wholewheat is always better than white bread. It tends to have four times the fibre, three times the zinc and twice the iron of the refined version. However, I also think it’s a great idea to dilute the wheat – so try buying rye, spelt and oat breads too to see if your children like them. Gluten-free breads tend to be terrible fresh (and much better toasted) but if you can buy the brown Genius gluten-free bread, do. It’s just about soft enough!

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By Catherine Burns

Deli meat Deli meats like ham and turkey are such a popular filling – largely because they are a kid-friendly, quick and easy form of savory protein. However, they are also a concentrated source of nitrates which the American Cancer Society has identified as a major preventable risk factor for the disease. You can go nitrate-free by avoiding the processed, pre-packaged products and roasting/slicing your own. Try cooking a roast on Sundays so that you have leftovers to use during the week. However, the exceptions are the Applegate Farms or Niman Ranch nitrate-free deli products. They are stocked at Lindos and some of the other major grocery stores and it does make life easier!

Widen your protein options It doesn’t always have to be ham, cheese, tuna or turkey. Other great protein options include almond butter (so long as your school is just peanut free) which is great paired with slices of banana or a little fruitonly jam. You can also try hummus for kids that are familiar with the dip. The combination of the chick peas and the sesame seeds come together for some solid staying power. Finally, if you have a child who likes jam and jam only, try including a sprinkling of ground Chia seeds. They will never know and you will feel better knowing they got an extra dose of fiber and good brain-boosting fats!

Catherine Burns BA Hons, Dip ION is a fully qualified Nutritional Therapist trained by the Institute for Optimum Nutrition in the U.K. and is the Managing Director of Natural Ltd. www.natural.bm / 236-7511. Follow Catherine on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/nutrifitandnaturalnutritionbermuda

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They love it because they’re willing to try, and because they feel confident in their ability to learn. All kids can love school. It just takes Oxford Learning to show them how.

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Call today, or visit oxfordlearning.com Bermuda 441.296.6060 66 King Street Hamilton, Bermuda, HM12 bermuda@oxfordlearning.com

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Health & Wellness|||

Boosting Your Immune System

Naturally

During Cold And Flu Season

There are a number of foreign invaders out there lurking around waiting to attack you at any given time. They hide out in your office, home, car, on public transportation, in air craft, restaurants and the list goes on. That’s why it is important to keep your immune system healthy particularly during cold and flu season.

Boosting your immune system naturally could be the answer to protecting you and your family from viruses and bacteria. Prior to cold and flu season, say around the month of September, start taking vitamin C along with a good multi vitamin on a daily basis until around February or March. When travelling, introduce an immune booster about 1 week to 10 days prior to your trip and continue taking the immune booster until you return home for added protection. Immune boosters are found in health food stores and come in capsule or liquid form. Homeopathic immune boosters are also available for adults and children.

Here are some helpful and important tips to protect your immune system for the coming cold and flu season. The key to maintaining optimal health is eating lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, along with getting adequate sleep. Keep hydrated by drinking lots of herbal, green and black teas. Herbal teas contain antioxidants and phytochemicals to increase T-cell production and strengthen the body against chronic illness.

Fresh fruit and vegetable juices are also a great immune booster.

They are high in vitamins and minerals which help to build the body’s resistance to foreign invaders and purge the body of harmful toxins. And let’s not forget water. Wash your hands often, exercise regularly and avoid stress as much as possible.

Avoid foods that are nutritionally dead such as highly processed foods with additives, preservatives and chemically processed sugars like high fructose corn syrup. Limit your consumption of fast foods, alcohol, tobacco and risky lifestyle practices. If you are unwell and are coughing, sneezing and having joint pains, stay at home to avoid passing the virus onto others.

The immune system is made up of a complex team of glands and organs that include the thymus gland, lymph glands, spleen, bone marrow and white blood cells. The immune system is

36 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

By Dr. Kuni Frith-Black

designed to function 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Like a highly intelligent computer, the immune system works to fight imbalances in the body caused by free radicals.

Many people would like to have options when it comes to cold and flu season and avoid getting a flu shot. For persons with an already compromised immune system the flu shot becomes more of a health hazard and can cause serious side effects.

Most people are not aware of the fact that flu shots contain harmful neurotoxins. Guillaian Barre Syndrome is not a contagious disease. Guillaian Barre Syndrome is caused by the body’s inability to cope with an influenza vaccine. Guillaian Barre Syndrome attacks the myelin sheath of the body’s nerves which can result in muscle weakness or even paralysis. An estimated 3,000 to 6,000 people in the USA develop Guillaian Barre Syndrome annually from having a flu shot.

Have you ever wondered what is in a flu shot? Many drug companies use ingredients such as mercury, formaldehyde, ethylene glycol (aka antifreeze), aluminum, MSG, egg proteins, antibiotics, gelatin and sucrose. There are serious side effects for many people who subscribe to flu vaccines and you should be aware of what the health risks are for you and your family.

Whatever you decide to do, be sure to arm your immune system before the dreaded cold and flu season arrives. Talk to your health care professional about options for you and your family and stay healthy!!

About the Practitioner Kuni Frith-Black has been an advocate for holistic approaches to health and wellbeing for almost three decades.

Kuni earned her Doctor of Naturopathy Degree for Health Care Professionals through Clayton College of Natural Health and her B.A. degree in Counselling Psychology and Holistic Studies from Vermont College. She is a Clinically Certified Hypnotherapist, a certified Auricular Therapist and a Master Reiki Practitioner with 15 years experience as a holistic health practitioner.

In August 2008, Kuni joined the practice of Dr. Femi Bada as a naturopathic consultant where traditional allopathic medicine was combined with complimentary/alternative medicine to create the ultimate healing experience. From August 2010 through to February 2012 Kuni worked as the Executive Director for the Bermuda Diabetes Association.

She is currently the host of the popular radio show “Health Corner” every Tuesday from 11:00am – 12:00 noon on FM 89. Kuni is a prolific educator and conducts health presentations and talks throughout the island.

Kuni has been working with the Department of Community and Cultural Affairs for the last three years during Rendezvous Season. She organizes talks and tours on medicinal plants and Bermudian Folk Remedies along the railway trail in Paget.

Kuni teaches herb classes and traditional Bermudian folk remedies, along with operating an herbal apothecary. Her favorite pastimes are cooking, gardening, nature walks and writing health articles. She also enjoys meeting like minded people who are committed to educating communities on living well and staying healthy.

You can contact Dr. Kuni Frith-Black at 238-1227

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Health & Wellness|||

A Green Christmas

By Henry Adderley

Bring a little green into your Christmas this year with a nod toward nature friendly products and help alleviate an environmentalist’s holiday nightmare.

Each year following the visit from the man in the red suit, dutiful parents begin the process of pulling the mountains of extra garbage to the curb, disposing of millions of chopped down trees and discarding megawatts of flashing lights. Actually you can argue that the lights get thrown out before the holiday when last year’s strands are pulled from storage and are found to not be working, but you get my drift.

Yet there are a multitude of ideas that can be utilized to cover everything from light stringing to gift giving and celebrate the environment, noted local photographer Sacha Blackburne.

“I try to teach my friends and children that the season is about giving and it does not have to be material things and things don’t only have to be given to each other, they can be given back to the planet too.

“The greatest Christmas gifts can be activity-based gifts like planting a garden or getting a goat for a family in Rwanda rather than something else to go in your house and eventually end up in the incinerator.

“Avoid plastics and items with too much packaging, avoid the hype and marketing surrounding the season and make Christmas about family and what should be important to everyone _ saving our earth and our future.”

She recalled a story from when her son Oslo was five-years-old. “Our family has always had a medium sized Bermuda cedar tree in a pot so that we could plant it in the garden after the holidays. They are great as they are about 4 feet tall and still have that slight prickle to their needles that still hold decorations.

“When Oslo was 5, I thought he may start noticing that our tree was always 38 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

a bit smaller and sparser looking than other peoples’ trees I asked him if we should get a real Christmas tree. I fully expected him to be thrilled at the possibility and drag me out right then to get the biggest one he could find.

But instead, he surprised me.

“He told me, ‘We already have a Christmas tree Mummy’. ‘Do we?’ I asked, not sure what on earth he could be speaking about. ‘Yes!’ he told me.

‘In the garden.’ I dreaded to think which tree he hoped to dig up and drag with its muddy roots into our home, but then he led me outside and showed me the Christmas tree he meant.

“We had planted baby cedar trees for my daughter Indigo’s and Oslo’s birthdays and gave potted cedars for all the children to take home as their party goody bag. Oslo dragged me outside and showed me this left over tree sitting alone on the wall. It was very clear to me why nobody had chosen this one when they selected their trees at the end of the birthday parties. It was really rather sad looking. It had few branches, and they were mostly turning brown. It was a bit lopsided and rather stunted looking. But there Oslo was, pulling it down from the wall and bringing it inside. “’Here is a perfect tree!’ he announced and my heart just melted.

“So we decorated this tree and he loved every moment. Bits kept falling off as the dead branches were knocked as he struggled to slip the loops on to hang the balls. We made candy canes out of pipe cleaners and I even found an angel that wouldn’t weigh the whole thing over, but Oslo wanted a heavy star so now it has both. Lights are obviously not an option, nor is the idea of actually putting presents under the tree, but he loves it and is proud of it and that is what is most important.”

Getting practical, the proud mum continued: “You can replace imported

Christmas trees with potted cedar trees. That way you can have them in more rooms and you don’t have to move your furniture around. You can use natural decorations from your garden or beach _ like driftwood _ and spray paint them or arrange l.e.d. lights on the wall using hooks to make a tree shape.

“You could even break up a wooden pallet and hammer the pieces together in the shape of a tree. Paint it green and tap in nails for hanging decorations. I haven’t tried that one myself yet but is something to think about.

“You can decorate the ‘trees’ with all sorts of things. A couple of ideas would be to make your own ornaments using recycled paper, salt dough or even toilet rolls. These ‘loo’ rolls can also be used to make your own Christmas crackers.

Homemade Christmas Crackers First of all, we cut up cardboard rolls. You can gather ‘loo’ rolls but we just used the rolls after the wrapping paper was finished.

We cut two smaller ones that we used for all the crackers, and then slightly longer ones that remained inside the crackers.

Ms Blackburne continued: “Instead of buying stockings you can make them. Burlap bags like Rock Island Coffee use would be suitable and old sweaters would work great.

“Charity shops like The Barn and the Bargain Box always have great sweaters to choose from and they have loads of other items that can be used for different things like homemade Advent calendars.

“You can collect little bits and pieces from the charity shops and make the Advent calendars out of used books or ‘loo’ rolls folded to make a box.

You could also write love notes on recycled paper and pin them to a board each day.”

Instead of spending a fortune on wrapping paper and gift tags, said Ms Blackburne, “you can use fabric or newspaper to wrap presents or even kids’ artwork. Instead of gift tags you could use pages from an old book or even old sheet music.

“An idea to replace store-brought wreaths,” continued Ms Blackburne, “is to take oleander or Mexican pepper branches and twist them into a circle and then add other items from the garden or throw away pieces of fabric and give it a touch of color from paint.

“Paints like aerosol glitter sprays and colors such as gold and silver work great to brighten up old decorations as well and can even be utilized to revitalize a child’s old toy.”

To continue the theme, bring what you have learned to the Christmas feast as well. Ms Blackburne said: “A great way to do this is to base your menu on what is available locally and in season.”

We cut some wrapping paper just long enough to cover the main middle roll with the two end bits and wide enough to go all the way around.

We folded one edge so that it was neat and tidy. We taped the unfolded edge to the middle roll, then as tightly as we could, wrapped the paper around the rolls. We taped the folded edge down so it was a neat tube.

The kids looked around the house for toys that were in good condition that they didn’t mind giving away. Indigo was not keen on giving up her hair tooties and bracelets, but it was the perfect opportunity to talk more about the spirit of Christmas and in the end, she was happy to share. The kids and I, Googled some holiday jokes and wrote down our favorites on pieces of paper. We wanted to make hats but had no tissue paper, nor enough time, so decided those could be for the next batch.

We slightly pulled out each end bit and as we did, gently and evenly squeezed in the paper until it was gathered enough for us to tie the ribbon around it. There will be a slight hole, but it needs to be small enough that nothing is going to fall out. We filled the middle tube with the joke rolled up and the toys, and then did the same paper gathering on the other side. You can buy those little popper sound things to glue in so they make a bang when they rip but we decided not to bother.

We curled the ribbons and voila - beautiful homemade holiday crackers!

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 39

William D. Tammeus

The simple merry-go-round and the pure joy on the face of a child as they spin around and around while we parents stand and watch nearby; what does this happy vision teach us about human nature and parenthood?

Our vital obligation is to ensure our children are equipped for life; a duty that necessarily means that we expose them to controlled risks so they may experience a full life. It is not our job to envelope our jewels in bubble wrap to shield them from the world; for that approach would not meet with any more success than legendary King Canute of Sweden who arrogantly stood by the shore and commanded the incoming tides not to wet his robes and feet. Even if you have never heard of Canute, I am certain you correctly guessed that he failed to protect the royal toe-toes from the ocean.

Many Bermudians learned to swim ‘the Bermudian way’. The lesson involves being picked up and flung off of a dock into the ocean, and nobody in the water is allowed to help; the learner had to make his way back to the dock unaided. For most children they scream, seem to fight the very sea, and cry out for anybody around them to help...normally not a man moves.

This traumatic introduction to the ocean is a rite of passage and at the end, when the child is back on dry land and not hating their parents any more, they will find that they had fun, had learned something new, and are alive and happy because of their unknown ability.

There is an African proverb that states: “Smooth seas do not make skilful sailors”. This quotation shows that it is in the test, in the struggle that we really excel and grow. There is no challenge in living a protected life; there is no gain from completing an easy voyage. We cannot send our children out in only safe, protected harbours; nor can we send our little captains out in the tsunamis of life unprotected and unprepared. Instead we must, little by little, expose them to risk that is controlled that they may find themselves, learn about their own abilities, and trust God as the anchor on which to hold when the storms are truly epic.

Avoiding the struggles and overprotecting our children would not be ‘raising’ them. We may be cherishing them, we would definitely be shielding them, and we may even be guilty of loving them too much, but none of that would be raising them.

When we decide to place our child on the merry-go-round, although the child has no idea what it is, we know they will love it.

We persist even though our child tenses up and begins to fear... but we also know that we have to completely let go in order to be 40 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

GODPA

able to spin the wheel to bring them joy.

When we begin to spin the wheel, we are in our child’s sight and reach and their fear diminishes; little by little though, we will speed up the spin and become farther out of reach. When left alone, our child at first begins to grin, then smile, then laugh at the movement and their giddiness. It is at this point that the child owns the experience, and the essence of the quote above begins.

The child will wave every time once they own the experience because at this stage they are proud. That wave is saying: “Look at me! Look at what I am doing!”

And this is why our response is so important. Our child’s wave is a longing, a plea to acknowledge both them and what they are doing. They want us to acknowledge them and their new found ability so we do...we wave back.

Once our spinning children know we will be there, their wave becomes less of ‘look at me’, and more of an ‘I see you’. Our child now knows they will see us; they have expectation. So now they look for our wave back and are looking for reassurance; we reassure them when we wave.

But why every time? Why do we continuously wave back? It is the same reason we did it the first time. If we resolve to ‘be there’ for our children, and make that promise deeply before God, we have to acknowledge our children...each and every time.

The journey from exploration to reassurance happens quite quickly on the merry-go-round, and the lesson of the merry-goround can either stay behind at playgrounds when we leave, or that journey can be the hallmark of our relationship with our children.

We build trust and assure them by our actions long before we get to the playground, which allows us to expose them to controlled risk. Our child battles through their fears knowing that we are here; and then they overcome, excel, and grow, mastering the very thing they did not even know existed. And of course, once they are captains, they leave us to conquer their own storms and place their own children in their merry-go-rounds; surely that is the essence of human nature and parenthood.

Take Care, Godpa

Artwork by Sharon Wilson

“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time aroundand why his parents will always wave back.”

Artwork by Sharon Wilson

S P E C I A L H O L I DAY O F F E R

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BERMUDA PARENT ||| 41

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Easy way to subscribe go to www.bermudaparentmagazine.com click on the subscribe link.

42 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

What makes a family?

For as long as I can remember I envisioned what my family would look like. I had it all planned out. I would be married by 23, have five kids, have a loving partner and we would all live happily ever after.

We would even have a dog, although it would be my husband’s sole responsibility to care for it as I don’t do pets.

Insert record screeching here.

I knew my plan was definitely off course when I was partying hard in university at 23 with a year left before graduation. I had worries. I figured I would catch up. After all, I was three years into what I thought was a ‘great relationship’. For sure, I thought, HE was the one so what was a couple of years off schedule? Gosh we are so stupid when we are young!

Fast forward to 2001. My daughter was born. Then my first son five years later. And in 2009 the stork blessed me with my third bundle of joy. And still no husband. And sadly, no further onto wifedom than I was 15 years ago. I think at one point I was devastated to say the very least.

By Carla Zuill

Although they all take turns fighting with each other, it is evident that they have a deep love for one another that can’t be touched. Sakile is the nurturing, protective big sister while Ajani shows Na’im all the ropes, good and devious. While they all vie for my attention, I make sure that I spend one on one time with each of them. I love them all, each in a way unique to only them.

I stress to them that WE are a family. We even have a chant.

“Who are we?” I shout when they need a reminder.

“Team Zuill!” all three reply in unison.

“Who?” “Team Zuill!”

“And don’t you ever forget it!”

Carla Zuill is a happy mom of three and the co-owner of GoSocial and blogs on www.carlazuill.com.

I remember saying to a few close confidants tearfully, “I will never have a family!”

I was so mad at myself. How did I get here? What did I do to deserve this? And one day someone said to me: “Stop! Why do you keep saying that? Stop living with regret and take a moment to look around and be thankful for your blessings.”

She pointed to a picture of my children and said: “Your family is right there. Don’t you realize how many people wish they could have what you have? You have three beautiful children who love you dearly and know how much you do for them so how dare you say you don’t have a family. All the rest will fall into place when the time’s right.”

I felt so guilty that I cried harder. Although there was a hole in my heart, I knew she was right. I reflected on the many times a friend or family member told me how lucky I was to have three children when they had none. Every day I get to hear them laugh together, fuss with each other and most importantly, love one another.

I love waking up with one wedged under me while another somehow nestled on top of me as I slept. I love the hugs, the kisses. The loving words and the looks of adoration--always when I need them the most.

I remember driving in to work one day, frustrated about whatever, Ajani leans over and kisses me on the side of the neck. “What’s that for?” I asked. “Because you are the best mommy,” he replied.

I melted. It is moments like these when I love and appreciate them more.

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 43

44 ||| www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

Dad’s Corner |||

Home for the Holidays

By Lt.Col. Edward Lamb As the end of the year draws nigh, it is always a good time for fathers to ponder the things that make the holidays so special. This time of year offers a wonderful opportunity for fathers to give their children one of the most precious gifts he could ever provide them: memories.

The Christmas holidays ought to be less about the presents, and more about the presence. The presence of family and friends: where we gather with those we cherish to enjoy each other’s company and fellowship. The presence of genuine love: love for not only those in our immediate family but, to everyone around us. The presence of kindness to others: unbridled and sincere benevolence to all and sundry.

These are the simple things that will leave profound memories in the minds and hearts of our children.

Fathers play a tremendous role in creating these memories for their children; memories that will greatly shape their characters and outlook on life. Of course, our children will be excited about the presents they receive but, the euphoria of receiving a man-made present will diminish; whereas, the gifts of love, warmth, kindness and peace will linger forever.

As a role model to his children, a father can demonstrate the importance of giving of oneself to others during the holidays, rather than expecting to receive so many material things. Imagine how different this world would be if more fathers showed their children that it is more important to give than receive, especially at this time of year. We could revolutionize the world! Unfortunately, we have created an environment wherein a significant amount of emphasis is placed on material things. This concept of giving rather than receiving might be a hard pill to swallow for our children, especially when their peers are getting all kinds of gadgets for Christmas. It is however, possible to instill in our children the importance of close relationships with family and friends, rather than “things.”

The holidays should also be filled with memories of family being together and sharing traditions. I have lasting memories from my childhood at Christmas.

I scarcely remember what toys I got but, I will never forget the aromas emanating from my mother’s kitchen. Nor will I forget all the accoutrements to Christmas: the mixed cases of bottled “mineral”; tree decorations and more. Now, as a father myself, I have tried to create similar traditions and memories for my sons.

Even when there are circumstances wherein fathers do not live with their children, there is still scope to create memories during the holiday. This is obviously easier said than done but, with effort, co-operation and creativity, fathers can make the time to create memories with their children that will last forever.

Finally, the holidays should be a period when we fathers take time to relax, slow down, and cherish the most important things in our lives: our families.

In this frenetic, fast-paced world in which we live, we spend most of the year racing at break-neck speed on our journey of life. If ever there is a time when we should pause in order to gather our thoughts and enjoy the significant people in our lives, it is during the holidays. The key though, is not to make the holidays so frantic and stressful that we do not make time to relax, unwind and de-stress. Don’t get caught up in all the madness that can come with the holidays such that you are robbed of your joy or worse, precious time with your families.

Peace and blessings to you and yours.

BERMUDA PARENT ||| 45

Rising Stars |||

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Some little girls’ dream of being princesses.

Some dream of being actresses or singers.

Two young Bermudian girls are living their dreams by being local models.

By Mikaela Ian Pearman Gabriella Madeiros, 9, and Sedona-Sky Duffy, 9, are learning all about etiquette and poise thanks to local modelling agency International Model Agency, which is run by Diane Whittaker.

“She loved it so much that she is now in EnVogue 2.

Both girls love modelling but fill their lives with plenty activities to stay busy.

Outside of modeling, Gabriella enjoys dancing, going to the movies, reading and cycling.

Gabriella attends Bermuda High School and Sedona-Sky is enrolled in Saltus Grammar School.

“Her biggest passion is butterflies.

Gabriella’s mother Ana Madeiros said her daughter fell in love with modeling by accident.

“Two years ago I enrolled her in a Fashion Camp which was run by Francesca from the Mambo stores.

“It is her dream to be more involved and learn about all aspects of modeling – photography, makeup, hair, runway walking.”

“She knows more about butterflies than anyone else I’ve ever met.

“She has a huge butterfly garden and this year we rescued 29 cocoons.

“During camp, the girls designed colorful skirts.

“We had heavy rains in the early summer and when we came home we noticed that so many cocoons were on the ground soaking wet.

“They also ‘designed’ funky shirts for Custo Growing competition – the Designer selected one of the shirts to produce into print.

“She carefully picked each one up and ‘hung’ them up in our porch.

“Although Gabriella’s shirt was not chosen, she enjoyed learning about the art of design.

“It was quite an adventure waking up and seeing how many monarch butterflies would be born each morning.

“At the end of camp the girls were asked to join in a fashion show held at Newstead.

“There is something magical for a child, to watch a caterpillar turn into a cocoon and then emerge into a beautiful butterfly.”

“It was a fantastic evening and Gabriella loved all the hair, makeup, lights, camera and walking the runway.”

Gabriella also has a soft spot in her heart for the disabled community of Bermuda.

Mrs Madeiros said the hustle and bustle of the fashion show drew her daughter in.

“Every year for her birthday she requests no presents, but asks for funds in memory of her brother Jeffrey who passed away almost five years ago at age 16.

“She was hooked.

“She has since participated in another fashion show this summer for AS Coopers which was put on by the Mount St. Agnes Academy called ‘Dazzle’.

“She is a natural on the runway and just loves it so much.

“When I saw an advert for the International Modeling Agency run

by Diane Whittaker, I knew I had to sign her up.

“Our plan was to enroll in EnVogue 1.

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“She has raised funds for The Friends of Hope Academy as well as the Committee 25.

“She also loves getting involved in community fundraising activities.”

Meanwhile, the modeling bug has also bitten Sedona-Sky. She said: “I decided to become a model after doing a fun runway show at Daisy and Mac and was selected as one of the top 10

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to model with one of Bermuda’s top models.

“I love photo shoots because I love having my photograph taken and I like getting made up and dressing up.”

Her mother Cathy was initially against her modeling because she didn’t want Sedona-Sky to be focused on her looks.

“We (her and her husband) wanted her to have the chance to develop her whole self before focusing on her physical self.

“But she is persistent and displayed that she is capable of balancing all aspects of herself.

“So we decided to let her explore her passion and be there to guide her.”

Mrs Duffy said Ms Whittaker has been very helpful with Sedona-Sky’s career.

“She is instrumental in helping her to develop all aspects of herself including how to audition, how to present herself, dress appropriately, and she is learning grace and poise.

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“For other parents who would like their children to learn about etiquette, poise and grace in a nonthreatening fun environment, I would strongly suggest enrolling their children in environments they really want to be in.

“This way they can have fun while learning skill sets that will benefit them for the rest of their lives.

“We are very pleased with how Sedona is developing and we are now happy that we allowed her to pursue one of her passions with our guidance and support.

“We see her blossoming before our eyes and we couldn’t be more proud.

“She also has to make sure she keeps up with her reading on a daily basis to enable her mind to expand as well.”

IMA is looking for more corporate sponsors to help Bermuda’s youth.

For more information, contact Ms Whittaker on dianew0123@yahoo.com.

“I believe this is a wonderful rounding experience for young ladies particularly at our daughter’s impressionable age.”

Mrs Duffy said she would encourage other parents to get their children into modeling.

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Kids

Got a great picture of your child? Send it and it may appear in our next issue.

Send it in by email to submitphotos@bermudaparentmagazine.com 50  |||   www.bermudaparentmagazine.com

Parent Directory Education

Adventureland Nursery & Preschool 45 Middle Rd. Warwick WK 05 Tel: 238-8032 or 238-0208 Email: ros.nursery@ibl.bm BSmart Development Center RamRe House, 46 Reid St. Hamilton HM 12 Tel: 295-6909 Email: bsmartbermuda@gmail.com Web: www.bsmartbermuda.com

Bermuda Oxford Learning Centre 66 King St. Hamilton Tel: 296-6060 Email: bermuda@oxfordlearning.com Bermuda School of Music 23 Berkeley Rd. Pembroke HM 11 Tel: 296-5100 Email: musicschool@northrock.bm Web: www.musicschool.bm Bermuda Underwater Exploration Institute (BUEI) 40 Crow Lane, East Broadway, Pembroke HM 19 Tel: 292-7219 Email: info@buei.org Web: www.buei.org Happy Moments Nursery & Preschool 69 North Shore Rd. Hamilton Parish Tel: 737-8385 In Motion School of Dance Tel: 292-7615 Mount Saint Agnes Academy 19 Dundonald St. West Hamilton HM 09 Tel: 292-4134 or 292-1291 Email: msaoffice@msa.bm Web: www.msa.bm Onion Patch Academy 59 Court St. Hamilton HM 12 Tel: 296-6466 Email: info@opacademy.bm Web: www.opacademy.bm Tomorrow’s Voices 155 South Rd. Smith’s HS 01 Tel: 297-4342 Email: tomorrowsvoices@northrock.bm Windreach 57 Spice Hill Rd. Warwick WK 03 Tel: 238-2469 Email: windreach@windreach.bm Web: www.windreachbermuda.bm

Enrichment/Sports

Bermuda Cricket Board Charities House, 25 Point Finger Rd. Paget DV04 Tel: 292-8958 Email: info@cricket.bm Web: www.bermudacricketboard.com Bermuda School of Russian Ballet P.O. Box HM 661, Hamilton HM CX Tel: 293-4147 / 295-8621 or Studio 292-2192 Email: info@balletbermuda.bm Web: www.balletbermuda.bm Big Brothers Big Sisters 25 Point Finger Rd. Paget DV 04 Tel: 232-2802 Spicelands Equestrian Centre 50 Middle Rd. Warwick WK 03 Tel: 238-8212 Email: spicelands@logic.bm Warwick Lanes 47 Middle Rd. Warwick WK 05 Tel: 236-5290

Camps please visit www. bermudaparentmagazine.com for a complete listing.

Healthcare

Bermuda Cancer & Health Centre 46 Point Finger Rd. Paget DV 04 Tel: 236-1001 Web: www.chc.bm King Edward VII Memorial Hospital 7 Point Finger Rd., Paget DV 04 Tel: 236-2345 Maternity Ward: 239-2016 Nursery SCBU: 239-2017 Gosling Ward: 239-2014 Web: www.bermudahospitals.bm

Nutrifit Tel: 236-7511 / 505-4725 Email: catherine@natural.bm Web: www.natural.bm People’s Pharmacy 62 Victoria St. Hamilton HM 12 Tel: 292-7527 Email: info@peoplespharmacy.bm Web: www.peoplespharmacy.bm Ultimate Imaging International Centre, Suite 401 26 Bermudiana Rd. Hamilton HM 11 Tel: 297-5960 Email: info@uiltd.bm Web: www.uiltd.bm

Just for Moms

Becky Spencer Photography Tel: 238-5236 Email: becky@beckyspencer.com Web: www.beckyspencer.com Lana Bull Tel: 504-9133 Email: svitlanabull@gmail.com www.lanabull-photoblog.blogspot.com In Harmony Portrait Studio 11 Curving Avenue., Hamilton, HM17 Tel: 541-5412 Email: inharmony@northrock.bm Web: www.inharmonyportraits.com La Leche League Tel: 236-1120 Email: islandgirl@northrock.bm Sabrina Wilkinson Photography

Tel: 704-6611 Email: info@sabrinawilkinson.com Web: www.sabrinawilkinson.com Sacha Blackburne Photography Tel: 293-5088 Email: sacha@sachablackburne.com Web: www.sachablackburne.com

Surprise 123 North Shore Rd. Hamilton Parish CR 01 Tel: 293-3208 Surprise Scrapbook Boutique 8 Kings Square, St. George’s Tel: 292-2638 Email: info@surprise.bm Web: www.surprise.bm

Retail

Baby Shower World Gallery 61 Middle Rd, Warwick Tel: 732-7921 Email: babyshowerworld@hotmail.com Bermuda Linens & Gifts 16 Somers Wharf, St. Georges Tel: 296-0189 Web: www.bermudalinens.com Brown n Co 3 Reid St. Hamilton HM 11 Tel: 295-3838 The Bookmart: 279-5443 Web: www.bookmart.bm Heaven Sent Baby Boutique 5 Elliott St. Hamilton HM 09 Tel: 295-2229 Funkins Web:www.myfunkins.com Phoenix Kidz 3 Reid St. 2nd Fl. Phoenix Centre, Hamilton HM 11 Tel: 279-5450

Family Centre Tel: 232-1116 Web: www.tfc.bm KFC 21 Queen St. Hamilton HM 11 Tel: 296-4532 Web: www.kfc.bm Mirrors Programme of Bermuda

Global House 43 Church St, Hamilton Tel: 294-9295 Email: clzuill@gov.bm

Lindo’s Family Foods 128 Middle Road, Warwick/ Tel: 236-1344 Pharmacy: Tel: 236-0100

Devonshire /Tel: 236-5623 Pharmacy- Tel: 236-7732 Norwex Enviro Products Tel: 296-6833 / 336-6833 The West End Development

Royal Naval Dockyard Web: www.thewestend.bm

Adventist Book Center 41 King St. Hamilton Tel: 292-4110

Bermuda Pest Control PO Box WK2342, Warwick WK BX, Tel: 232-7378 Email: bpest@northrock.bm Web: www.pestcontrol.bm

Bermuda Sports Network Cable Channel 82 Tel: 734-4042 E: lwoods@bermudasportsnetwork.com Bermuda Waterworks Ltd 32 Parsons Lane, Devonshire DV 06 Tel: 299-7873 Email: purewater@bwl.bm Butterfield & Vallis 12 Orange Valley, Devonshire DV 06 Tel: 236-6688 Child Day Care Allowance Programme

Department of Financial Assistance Global House, 43 Church St. Hamilton Club Minaj 50 Water Street, St. Georges Tel: 595-0692 Email: clubminaj50@gmail.com

Party Planning

ClearWater Systems 10 Harvey Road, Paget PG04 Web: www.coffeeshop.bm

Sugar Rush Cakes Tel: 337-6171 Email: sugarrushbda@yahoo.com Web: sugarrushbermuda.com

Easy Park Tel: 542-7000 Web: www.easypark.bm

BDA Parent Resource

Zeudi Hinds Photography Tel: 737-5077 Email: zkhphotography@yahoo.com Web:www.zeudihindsphotography.com

Funtyme Entertainment Tel: 535-0815 or 535-3837 Web: www.funtymeent.com

Consumer Affairs 129 Front St. Hamilton HM 12 Tel: 297-7627 Email: consumers@gov.bm Web: www.ca.gov.bm

Conspec Imports 12 Cemetery Rd. Pembroke HM 07 Tel: 296-5775 or 705-4721 Email: info@conspecimports.com Web: www.conspecimports.com

Sponsor a Charity If you don’t have the time to Volunteer then offer a charity the opportunity to advertise with Bermuda Parent Magazine. Promote your favorite charity so that parents are informed of the quality resources available! Provide a 1/4, 1/2 or full page advert for the charity of your choice (charity rates available).

Your name or company name will be displayed with the charity of your choosing!

Contact us at advertising@ bermudaparentmagazine.com or call 504-2937

25 g Celebratin Years

25 g Celebratin Years

La Leche League of Bermuda is pleased to celebrate 25 years of providing information, support and encouragement to breastfeeding women and their families.

Attend Our Free Series Meetings Second Saturday of each month at 10:30am First Floor Conference Room King Edward VII Memorial Hospital

La

We look forward to many more years of promoting and protecting good health and well-being in Bermuda.

League che Le

For breastfeeding assistance, call 541-6455 Or email islandgirl@northrock.bm or visit us on Facebook at La Leche League of Bermuda

If you would like to support a young person in achieving and sustaining their goals, can commit to supporting a young person as they develop a future beyond their present expectations and are open to empower yourself to produce a new set of behaviors, actions and results in your life, then MIRRORS is looking for you.

ARE YOU A COMMITTED PARTNER? • Are you willing to work with young people?

•

Are you willing to empower our youth to increase positive attitudes?

• Are you willing to build relationships with our young people?

• Are you willing to make a stand in our community?

“Having a committed partner helped me to see things from a different perspective. Being able to do so enabled me to think first before reacting negatively to different situations.”

– Michéla Outerbridge, 2010 participant

BECOME A MIRRORS VOLUNTEER TODAY! Contact Carla Zuill, Volunteer Enrollment Manager at 294-9295 or email clzuill@gov.bm for more information on becoming a volunteer.

Mirrors Programme of Bermuda Global House 1st Floor 43 Church Street Hamilton HM 12 Transforming our community, one person at a time

Mirrors Volunteer flyer 2012.indd 1

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