HOW TO THRIVE IN LAW AND LIFE By: Emily Hierd, LPC, MHSP Vantage View Coaching
HOW TO MASTER YOUR MINDSET Welcome back to the How to Thrive in Law and Life column. The article from February covered treating yourself as your most important asset, the need to release stress daily, and developing healthy habits. A more crucial component to reducing stress and thriving is mastering your mindset. What is mindset? It is a set of beliefs that you carry around in your subconscious mind and the framework we use to make sense of the world. Mindset is the way you think about events and the assumptions you make. Your brain creates shortcuts and automatic thought patterns to increase its efficiency. Most of the time, you are not aware of these patterns. Why is this important? Your mindset plays a critical role in how you cope with life’s challenges. Our thoughts create our emotions, which lead to our actions. Simply put, you feel what you think. This is directly tied to your quality of life and well-being. You can probably identify people in your life that are generally negative and miserable. And others who are smiley and upbeat. The difference? Their mindset. Lawyers are trained in law school to “think like a lawyer.” I call this the Lawyer Brain. It includes: • spotting issues and looking for problems •
figuring out what is wrong or could go wrong
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thinking in binary terms of winning or losing
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using imperatives such as should, must, and shall in legal writing and persuasion focusing on the 5% that may be faulty, mistaken, risky, or problematic and dismissing the 95% that may be fine scrutinizing others’ motives and intentions challenging arguments by others
maximizing control over aspects of a case.
In psychology, these thought patterns are called Cognitive Distortions: unhelpful and irrational ways of thinking. They lead to feelings of anxiety, anger, disappointment, shame, guilt, and depression. Many of these distortions lead to a person adopting a pessimistic mindset and a negative view of the world. The Lawyer Brain is necessary for legal strategy, but it hinders managing stress and thriving in your career and life. The culture and environment of the firm depend on the mindset of the individual lawyers. These thought patterns are not beneficial for other roles a lawyer may have to fulfill: mentor, colleague, supervisor, committee member, marketer, and firm leader. Your mindset also affects your relationships with friends and family. Being cross-examined by a lawyer spouse in an argument is not a pleasant experience nor an effective way to resolve interpersonal conflict. Mastering your mindset and harnessing the power of an optimistic mindset vs. a pessimistic mindset will unleash your potential and transform your overall state of well-being. Optimistic does not mean always being positive and ignoring reality. Cultivating a positive mindset includes: • focusing on what you can control and what is working •
expecting the future to hold good things
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focusing on the strengths of yourself and others
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being kind
trusting others
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giving others the benefit of the doubt
generally focusing on the good in any situation.
A positive mindset helps build mental toughness and resiliency (adapting well in the face of adversity). Athletes routinely discuss the importance of their mindset training; many say it is more important than their physical training. Navy Seals and NASA astronauts are selected based on their ability to master their minds over their physical capabilities. They must push beyond their perceived limits and emotionally regulate in stressful situations. Both of these require mastery over their thoughts. You, and only you, have the power to decide how you will think about events. It usually does not feel this way to clients when I first start working with them. Thoughts are fast and automatic, and most people believe whatever they think. But those thoughts may not be true or accurate. However, we can rewire neural pathways and create new automatic thought patterns through brain plasticity. It takes self-awareness and lots of practice to retrain your brain, but it is possible! You can not control what comes into your mind, but you can choose what you do with your thoughts. World-renowned psychologist Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, famously said, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response.” How you perceive demands and stressors impacts your emotional experience. Stress is the perception we don’t have enough of a resource (e.g., time, energy, knowledge, money, help) to complete a task. In her book, The Upside of Stress, Dr. Kelly McGonigal discusses how her research at Stanford showed that viewing stress as a helpful part of life, rather than as harmful, is associated with better health, emotional well-being, and productivity at work – even during periods of high stress. It is not the stressor itself but how you think about it that matters. The physical benefits of adopting a positive mindset include a longer life span, lower chance of heart attack, better physical health, improved immunity, lower blood pressure, and better pain tolerance. The mental benefits include more creativity, better problem-solving skills, clearer thinking, better mood, better coping skills, and less depression. Cultivating a work environment with positive mindsets leads to greater well-being of employees, greater productivity, increased earnings, more creativity, higher employee retention, and better employee engagement. Your mindset impacts every aspect of your life – and others around you. 5 ways you can start to improve your mindset: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Become aware of your thoughts. Create space between your thoughts and reactions. Reframe your situation and look for alternative interpretations. Focus on what you can control in any situation. Accept the circumstances you can’t control. Create quiet time daily for reflection.
Focus on your strengths and adopt a growth mindset. (Read Growth Mindset by Carol Dwek.) Practice gratitude.
People often look for external circumstances to change to make them feel better - a move, a new job, a fresh start - but long-lasting change starts with the 6 inches between your ears.
DICTA
April 2022
