SUPER TUBERS

TAMMY LEE - Artist, 3rd Year, Environmental Science

"You know as someone with slight trypophobia, this article wasn’t the brightest idea."

It’s 2020. It’s no secret surprise that everyone should be staying at home. Within the anime manga community, this truly was a “gamers rise up” reddit moment, where it seemed that now staying at home was the cool thing to do… nah… it was still lame to be honest….

But days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months; even weebs are starting to think this lockdown sucks majorass. But lo and behold amongst the world’s concentrated crystallized boredom manifested itself in the explosion of cute 2D anime waifus popping up all over the web, the vtubers. Why just watch videos for 2D anime waifus when you could also simp for 2D anime waifus during an economic recession (not so sure if this is what they meant by stimulating the economy). Although the notion of present day vtubers has always been around even in 2016, it’s very easy to link quarantine for such boom in popularity.

However, what you might not know is that there’s actually a totally real legitimate secret side to the whole “vtuber” business. Even if you don’t know, it’s easy to guess “vtuber” originates from two words “virtual” and “youtuber;” but some cases don’t strictly adhere to this breakup of the word. Most notably, plenty of them stream on Twitch rather than Youtube, but you and I would absolutely still call them “vtubers.” In reality, this would make “-tubers” a blanket term. So let’s introduce the different types of tubers that you might not know....

btuber: more effective in bunches than just a singular, if you don’t want to go through the trouble of building an entire wooden house, you can just grab a bunch of these to put in your yard, hang up in a little box, and then just wait for the bees to buzz in to help with pollination

ctuber: develops from a free-swimming, pelagic, nonsymbiotic trochophore larva, which enters juvenile (meta trochophore) development, becoming sessile, and subsequently acquiring symbiotic bacteria. The symbiotic bacteria are not present in the gametes, but are acquired from the environment through the skin in a process akin to an infection. The digestive tract transiently connects from a mouth at the tip of the ventral medial process to the anus...

dtuber: made out of a striated muscle that allows for voluntary control, dtubers in particular can be split up into 4 different types depending on their location, their length must be adequate enough to connect both the outlets of the renal system and seminal vesicles

[et] t[u] [ber]ute: is it bad I liked her better than to be?

g it sure is boring around here, my boy this peace is what all true warriors strive for, I just wonder what Ganon is up to, your majesty Ganon and his minions have seized the island of Koridai, hmm how can we help, it is written “Onlyfans link can defeat Ganon,” great I’ll grab my stuff, there is no time your sword is enough, how about a kiss for luck, you’ve got to be kidding…tuber

ptuber: probably friends with the dtubers…ttuber:

Ztuber: did you know the letter “z” is actually pronounced “zed” instead of “zee,” heard it from my Canadian friends… they’re definitely right...