2020 Pride Summer Fall Magazine

Page 1

savoirflair NEW ENGLAND’S LGBTQ MAGAZINE

BOOKS

VOL. 13

NO. 1

PTOWN’S

CONFESSIONS OF

GROPIUS HOUSE

A GAY PRIEST

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Celebrating


CONTENTS RAINBOW | OUR NATIONAL TREASURE 10 BYRANDY MARK ADAMS IMPORTANCE OF OUR LGBTQ DOCTORS 22 THE BY CHLOE BELL HOUSE | MODERNIST ARCHITECTURE 28 GROPIUS BY ERIN WEAVER IT | ANTIQUES + ANTIQUE HOME RESTORER 36 FLAUNT BY DICK FLORIENTINO | BY THOMAS TURCKETTA | BUYING TIPS: LGBTQ WEDDING RINGS 40 BYJEWELRY NICHOLAS MCCARTY ATTIRE | WHAT WE WEAR 46 WEDDING BY SHARON LEVINE CAR PICKS | LGBTQ FAVORITES 55 BYCOMMUNITY JOHN AXELROD

BOSTON PROVINCETOWN NORTHAMPTON PROVIDENCE MASSACHUSETTS CONNECTICUT MAINE VERMONT NEW HAMPSHIRE RHODE ISLAND


EVERY ISSUE 10 FILM /TV OF INTEREST RANDY RAINBOW

14 BOOK REVIEWS CONFESSIONS OF A GAY PRIEST UNDER THE RAINBOW HALF BROKE BECOMING EVE 34 HOME MID-CENTURY FURNITURE BUYING ADVICE 61 MARKETPLACE SERVICE DIRECTORY COMMUNITY OWNED AND FRIENDLY SERVICES

PUBLISHER Mary Kennedy EDITOR Sharon Levine EDITORIAL CONSULTANT Nicholas McCarty WRITERS Wendy Mimran | Mark Adams | Jeff Parson | Chloe Belle John Axelrod | Terri Schlichenmeyer | Erin Weaver SALES Rena Berman, Sales Director Wendy Mimran, Sales Development Manager Sharon Levine | Nicholas McCarty | Mark Davis PRODUCTION Louis Chavez | Shorty Kennedy | Bodhi Berman | Orella DeVille | Cleo Marie Kwame Byrd | Pixie Chavez; Proof Reader | Nicholas Beach (volunteer) PHOTOGRAPHY COVER: Alen Dobric, Wedding photography as credited, Doctor photography stock by Nadino DISTRIBUTION Eagle Distribution | Crevier Distribution | CTM Distribution | Breakaway ADVERTISING INFORMATION All inquires may be addressed to KP Media, 333 Washington St. #714 Boston, MA 02108 (617) 423-1515 e-mail: kpmedia@aol.com ©2021 All Rights Reserved. M. Kennedy Publishing, Inc. SavoirFlair Magazine may not be reproduced in part or whole without the written permission of the publisher. Advertising content is the sole responsibility of individual advertisers.

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Our National Treasure By Mark Adams

Randy Rainbow. Just saying his name out loud brings a smile to my face (and a song to my heart). If, by chance, you've never heard of him (and how has life in a cave been for you‌?,) Randy is the young-ish (he's 39, and to me, that's still young) man who has entertained the population and kept most of us sane during the nasty episode I shall only refer to as That President. For those unaware, all you need do is click onto You Tube and search Randy Rainbow and you will be directed to some of the brilliant material this talented guy has put together. Randy, who refers to himself as "Cuomosexual," alluding to his never-ending obsession with the New York Cuomo brothers, is not just another flash-in-the-pan. He has been performing since he was 10, and has pretty much perfected his current art, which consist of scores of videos lampooning the Man in the White House and his cohorts. How he puts this all together, who knows, as he claims to do pretty much everything himself, releasing at the peak, one video every Monday. In the past, he was also making appearances to sold-out crowds nationwide, which slowed down his release schedule somewhat. And his personal appearances only reinforced what a true talent he is. Yes, the "live" events featured a plethora of his videos, which he sang along with and with a lot of help from the audience. His outrageous eyeglasses and outfits are now pretty much trademarked (he even sells them, and other items, online, and you can usually see several on tourists as you stroll down Commercial Street in Provincetown). But nothing slows him down, as he, once again, continued his battle for truth, justice and the American Way (I made that part up, thanks to Superman, but it fits perfectly).

10 savoirflairmagazine


Honestly, I don't know anyone who hasn't laughed out loud

A" features a cameo from a former VP nominee (no spoilers

to his parodies, all set to the music of mostly-Broadway mu-

here); "Randy Dates Mel Gibson," which is, and I don't think

sicals. Who can ever forget any of these priceless gems -

I'm giving anything away, is actually about domestic abuse

"Distraction," set to the song "Tradition" from Fiddler on the

and is not exactly G-Rated. You have to see this, which ap-

Roof; "Cover Your Freakin' Face," actually, "Put On A Happy

plies now as much as it did when Randy released this one

Face," originally (and almost as well-done) sung by Dick Van

in 2017, from the classic Damn Yankees, "Those Were The

Dyke in Bye Bye Birdie; "A Spoonful of Clorox," not to be con-

Good Old Days." These can all be found at his self-named

fused with "A Spoonful of Sugar," from you-know-what (of

website, and on his YouTube channel. Hint: If you subscribe

course you do!); the truly priceless "Gee Anthony Fauci," not

to his feed, you will automatically get the videos sent to your

at all like "Gee Officer Krupke" from West Side Story; and so

email as soon as they're released. I love technology. Randy

many more.

Rainbow is, as many have said, a National Treasure.

A trip back in time to his earlier works will bring you untold merriment, if you have not already checked out these gems

Mark Adams has been a popular contributor to LGBTQ Media for many years, writing extensively on film and

from the "Throwback Videos" section of his website (I have

video of interest to the community. You can email him

to admit...I hadn't checked these out until just minutes ago,

at vidioview@gmail.com with any of your favorites for

and they are priceless). "Randy Rainbow Works at Chick-Fil-

a future scribbling.

savoirflairmagazine 11


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Book Review x 4

Book Review x 4 REVIEWS

BY TERRI SCHLICHENMEYER “CONFESSIONS OF A GAY PRIEST” BY TOM RASTRELLI C.2020, UNIVERSITY OF IOWA PRESS | $19.9 | 328 PAGES You spent days examining your life. Sins: that’s what you were looking for How had you displeased God? How many lies, covets, dishonors? What have you done since – oh, when was your last confession, anyhow? They say the sacrament is good for your soul, and in “Confessions of a Gay Priest” by Tom Rastrelli, there’s a lot to tell. Though he’d always known that he liked boys, little Tommy Rastrelli pretended the opposite when he was in gradeschool because marriage was what good Catholics did. His fam-

14 savoirflairmagazine


ily was devout and Rastrelli never questioned God’s love. Not

“UNDER THE RAINBOW” BY CELIA LASKEY,

even after, he says, he was repeatedly molested by a doctor in

C.2020, RIVERHEAD BOOKS | $27.00 | 288 PAGES

his Iowa hometown.

You never know what’s going to happen when a new endeavor

For several reasons, he never told his parents about the abuse,

begins. You only know what it’ll cost: time, money, effort, and a

enduring it for years until he’d convinced them that he was too old for a pediatrician. That God hadn’t saved him from a predator made Rastrelli slowly lose his faith and his self-respect. He stopped attending Mass and began questioning the Church’s teachings. But then God called a shocked Tom Rastrelli to the priesthood. It happened while he was at college, and the whole idea quickly

lot of patience for a great unknown.This experiment could end well, or it could end very badly but either way, as in the new novel “Under the Rainbow” by Celia Laskey, it’s worth a try. It was a scientific fact: Big Burr, Kansas, was the most homophobic place in. That was the determination made by Acceptance Across America, an LGBTQ nonprofit that needed to know before launching its grand experiment. For two years, AAA hoped to keep a task

consumed him. Gone was the plan to major in theatre; instead,

force in Big Burr to live, work, integrate, and to see if it was

Rastrelli began to explore a world steeped in mystery and ritual,

possible to change bigots into open-minded, rational people.

but overlaid with fear. Always believing that testimony against

Much to her dismay, that’s why Avery was taken from her very

the doctor could save others from the same abuse, Rastrelli

happy California home: one of her moms volunteered to head

took legal action, knowing that scandal could ruin his chance to

the Acceptance Across America experiment. Karen was a les-

attend seminary, but depending on how you look at it,

continues on next page

it didn’t. There were many things undiscussable, in fact, and the court case was only half of it. As he progressed in his journey to ordination, the secrets included priestly kisses, caresses, and soft lies that a “backrub” was just a backrub. At nearly every gathering, Rastrelli was approached for sex or touched inappropriately, led to believe that celibacy had wiggle-room, plied with alcohol or favors, and left to deal with it alone. He fell in misguided love. And then he fell into a deep depression, with only one real way out... Beginning with his ordination (so you know-don’t-know the end of the story), author Tom Rastrelli tells a tale that will further shock main stream Catholics already reeling from churchrelated scandals but not the LGBTQ community. Rastrelli is sometimes extremely graphic, both in the bedroom and in his various emotional states. He doesn’t pull back the curtains on his experiences, he rips them down and burns them. He used pseudonyms, but tells details before softening his harshness with beautiful language, strong faith, and poetic distractions that play with a reader’s sympathy. You can’t beat a book like this. “Confessions of a Gay Priest” is worth deep examination. savoirflairmagazine 15


Book Reviews continued from previous page

bian and a feminist; Avery was straight and she hoped that nobody in her new high school would ever think otherwise. It was bad enough that Billy Cunningham’s hate-fueled gang found out who her mother was. Bible-quoting mom-blogging Christine Petersen tried to have Acceptance Across America’s billboard removed from downtown and when that didn’t happen, she took matters into her own hands. Pastor Jim preached against homosexuality; the police ignored hate crimes; and Arturo, having recently moved to Big Burr from New Mexico because of health issues, struggled to accept his son’s husband. But things weren’t all bad in Big Burr: Linda, who recently lost her son in an accident, was delighted to find friends who didn’t treat her like broken china. Lizzie finally seized the happiness she’d been putting off. Elsie, who hadn’t seen her children in years, found Harley, who was a good substitute and a good friend. And Gabe Cunningham learned that the newcomers to Big Burr would open more than just a few minds… Here’s a bit of advice: just before you start reading “Under the Rainbow,” take a deep breath. It may be the last one you get until you’re finished. That’s because author Celia Laskey will knock the wind out of you with the pearl-clutching folks in the fictitious town of Big Burr, the authenticity of their thoughts and actions, and

thing, some niggling issue, a thorny problem that needed to be

the real-life things they do to deny this (almost implausible)

solved from the back of a saddle? They say that the outside of a

social experiment. Better yet, the haters are only half the story:

horse is good for the inside of a man. In “Half Broke” by Ginger

Laskey’s tale is also told through a series of first-person points-

Gaffney, the same goes for the inside of a woman.

of-view of some of the activists who serve as glue to hold ev-

She knew she wasn’t going to get paid for the job.

erything together.

That was fine. Ginger Gaffney had a calendar full of work that

This all amounts to a bunch of concentric circles that are

paid the bills for the small homestead she and her female part-

tangled like a necklace in a small box: everybody’s tale is tied

ner shared. No, a gig working with a New Mexico ranch that

to half the town through barely-kept confidences and they all

served somewhat as a transitional option for inmates was Gaff-

know it – although, like any good novel, secrets ultimately be-

ney’s way of giving back. Gratis work was gratitude for a good

come not-so-secret.

life.

For lovers of novels with bite, just the first page is this book

It wasn’t always good, though.

will snare you and keep you. Absolutely, “Under the Rainbow”

To say that Gaffney was quiet as a child is putting it mildly: she

is worth a try.

didn’t speak until she was six years old. She felt like a “genderless thing,” she was angry, scared, hurt, mistrustful, had little self-

“HALF BROKE: A MEMOIR”

control, and she sometimes lashed out. Then she got a horse.

BY GINGER GAFFNEY

And now she’d volunteered to work on this “alternative” ranch

C.2020, NORTON $25.95 272 PAGES

with horses that had gone feral because nobody knew how

The last time you went riding, the weather was perfect.

to handle or train them. She knew exactly how those animals

Did you notice that? Or were you thinking about some-

felt because she’d been like them once, as had the ranchers

16 savoirflairmagazine


Book Reviews Gaffney was asked to teach: former addicts, lawbreakers, alco-

founder of Hasidism. In their Brooklyn community, that made

holics who’d been tossed aside, who’d applied for a opportu-

Yisroel a member of royalty.

nity to work with horses, and who were constantly monitored

Almost from the moment of birth, the future was set: Yisroel

and mentored to give them the best chance to avoid being

would follow the same path laid out for the males of the fam-

imprisoned again.

ily, starting with ritual circumcision and religious observances,

Every horse has a story to tell. Every rancher had one, too, but

then yeshiva to study the Torah and Jewish law, marriage at age

the rules were strict about when they could share them so

18, and hope for sons to continue the line. There was no alter-

Gaffney really knew very little about the people she taught:

native. The entire family lived like this, like “eighteenth-century

Eliza, who’d been nearly mute; Flor, an admitted liar; Randy, who

Eastern Europeans,” and had done so for centuries.

dieted to ride; Tony, who had anger issues. Sarah, the biggest

The exception came when then-four-year-old Yisroel insisted

enigma of all. And Marco, who leaves this book with a surprise

on having always been a girl.

ending.

Later, though other childish things were forgotten, those

The first time you were on a horse happened so long ago that

thoughts never were. They were constant, remembered, boxed

it’s like having a finger or a nose: it never wasn’t. You probably

up, ignored, or excused. Even when theological questions

don’t even remember it, but you won’t forget “Half Broke.”

roared, when religious texts seemed to confirm Yisroel’s sus-

Swinging timelines like a lariat, author Ginger Gaffney tells her

picions of girlhood, when sex – a subject no Ultra-Orthodox

own barnboard-rough story, but that absolutely takes a back

Jew was supposed to know about until days before marriage

seat to tales of horses she’s known and people she knew at

– made an all-boy yeshiva more bearable, questions of gen-

the prison ranch near Santa Fe. Her tales are told with delib-

der were suppressed. At 18, “matched” with and married to

erateness, and quietly – even the ones that pulse with anger

continues on next page

or gnashing teeth – but the graciousness and generosity here comes out loud and clear, leaving readers with a sad smile, a good chuckle, a gasp, and the thought that books like this just don’t last long enough. Yes, the skies can be cloudy all day in this memoir, but it’s a wonderful one that horse lovers, armchair cowpokes, and reform workers shouldn’t even try to resist. If that’s you, you should know that “Half Broke” is a heckuva ride. “BECOMING EVE: MY JOURNEY FROM ULTRA-ORTHODOX RABBI TO TRANSGENDER WOMAN” BY ABBY CHAVA STEIN C.2019, SEAL PRESS $28.00 | 272 PAGES Who are you? There are many possibilities. You can answer with ethnicity, gender, social strata, or surname, mention your species, family origins, religion, or hobbies. So many things and yet, as in the new book “Becoming Eve” by Abby Chava Stein, only one answer really matters. Yisroel Avrom Ben Menachem Mendel was born on the 24th of Tishrei in the year 5752 – or, for those who are not UltraOrthodox Jews, the first of October, 1991. The sixth child and firstborn son, Yisroel’s birth was the cause of great jubilation: one main forebear was Baal Shem Tov, a holy leader and the savoirflairmagazine 17


Book Reviews continued from previous page

a woman who was nearly a stranger, Yisroel burned with envy that wearing a bridal gown would forever be denied. Naming their firstborn son was devastating. “Oh, and gender?” says author Abby Chava Stein today. “It started punching me in the face.” Without a doubt, “Becoming Eve” may be one of the most fascinating books you’ll read. Set in a community that is meant only for adherents, author Stein’s story is told in rich detail that lets readers imagine everyday life with restrictions that most of us would chafe under, and without the internet, blue jeans, fast food, or English. These day-to-day details are relayed in a matter-of-fact tone that makes the severity of the “laws” seem even more astounding because of the seeming scarcity of emotion associated in their telling. Stein’s lifelong question of gender almost seems secondary to those astonishments, but as the tale progresses, her demand for answers grows quietly in a way you almost won’t notice until it pounces on you. Whoosh, it’s a relief you never knew you were waiting for. And yet, relief is fleeting: Stein leaves readers hanging by not including an up-to-date which could be frustrating in any other story, but this unusual book’s end still feels just right. For that, “Becoming Eve” is a most satisfyingly unsatisfying book, and you’ll love it no matter who you are.

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Doctors

THE IMPORTANCE OF OUR LGBTQ

By Erin Weaver The world has changed substantially over the past year, and the new heroes are medical workers. In the light of the recent pandemic, no single profession is more revered than these knowledgeable, hard-working, and dedicated professionals. Our LGBTQ community contains many physicians, nurses, and other healthcare workers who make valuable contributions to the field, now more than ever as health is in the forefront of all our minds. Unfortunately, the medical profession doesn’t have an unblem-

in 2019. This is a sheer change from the norm of 4%, which was

ished history. Many early medical trials were highly unethical,

likely even lower in the past. This may be because of Harvard’s

and medical research has traditionally focused on white people

sensible attitude towards recruiting medical students, which in-

and men in a way that excludes knowledge about other eth-

cludes asking incoming class members if they would like to be

nic groups and genders. This treatment also extends to LGBTQ

identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer. Simi-

people, who often face mistrust and discrimination when seek-

larly, they have an active LGBTQ student group and the curricu-

ing medical help. The LGBTQ community are less likely to have

lum includes classes to teach students about LGBTQ medical

access to sensitive health care providers and can have trouble

care. In an AP News article from earlier this year, Jessica Halem,

finding a doctor in rural areas who can treat them appropriately

the LGBTQ Outreach and Engagement Director for the Harvard

regardless of status. This isn’t surprising given that a mere five

Medical School Sexual and Gender Minorities Health Equity Ini-

hours of medical training is generally allocated to LGBTQ health.

tiative, is cited as saying “We know that doctors need to look like

Luckily, LGBTQ-affirming care can often be thoughtfully provided

and be part of the communities they serve.” This is a notable and

by doctors who are themselves part of the community.

centrally important shift from years gone by.

Indeed, the number of queer physicians is on the rise, with a re-

In a 2013 Physicians Practice article, one physician who trained

cord 15% of new Harvard medical students identifying as LGBTQ

in the 1990s suggests that some medical associations might

22 savoirflairmagazine


even have been denying membership to LGBTQ doctors at that time. Indeed, in a 2012 WBUR piece, Dr. Mark Schuster, then-Chief of General Pediatrics at Boston Children’s Hospital, said that during his own medical training at Harvard, he was advised not to form a gay group by a world-renowned physician, who said it was better to stay quiet about being gay. Schuster was similarly later told to remain in the closet until after his first semester grades were released, in case the school used poor grades as an excuse to kick him out of school for being gay. In comparison, these days, a small but notable 15% of medical practices have lists of LGBTQ-competent doctors and 48% offer some form of training related to LGBTQ medicine. This is by no means extensive, but the change does appear to be coming. As Jennifer Brier notes in her book Infectious Ideas: U.S. Political Responses to the AIDS Crisis, Robert K. Bolan, a gay doctor based in San Francisco, wrote in 1981 at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic that “knowledge of specific Gay sexual activities,

who actually are transgender? LGBTQ physicians can under-

and the ability to be supportive of Gay sexual expression while

stand the concerns, the needs, and the appropriate way to treat

discussing health and avoidance of disease is absolutely es-

members of their own community.

sential if individual health education is to be effective”. Indeed,

LGBTQ doctors can be more sensitive to the needs of patients

while the horrors of AIDS were ravaging the gay community, gay

due to their comfort and knowledge, but it may also be related to

physicians provided committed and tireless care to patients in a

their own experiences of medical professionals. Of course, physi-

role that was suddenly personal, professional, and highly politi-

cians get sick too, and most LGBTQ medical professionals have

cized all at once. They were doctors and advocates. Holding the

been treated by heterosexual, cisgender doctors at some point.

dual position of community member and community helper is

Negative experiences with these doctors can propel members

a difficult and important role that LGBTQ doctors vitally fulfill. We

of our community towards medicine in the first place. In the AP

know that medical students report that they are more comfort-

News article, Dr. Carl Streed from the Boston University Medical

able treating transgender patients after they are taught about

School says that he was moved to pursue a career in medicine

transgender health, so who is better placed to help than doctors

after seeing a physician when he fell ill as a student. After Streed told the physician that he was gay, the physician suggested HIV testing and left the room after becoming very unfriendly. Streed did not have the virus, and no tests for more common infections which would afflict college students were suggested. It was this experience of unkindness, bigotry, and poor practice that made him want to become a doctor. Even after qualifying, LGBTQ physicians often experience difficulty in the workplace. A 2016 report from the British Medical Association covering more than 800 lesbian, gay, and bisexual physicians and medical students found that more than one in 10 felt that they had experienced discrimination in their workplace or studies due to their sexuality. Many reported that they had chosen their field of medicine because they felt it was quite friendly to LGBTQ physicians, and some had even changed path continues on next page

savoirflairmagazine 23


THE IMPORTANCE OF OUR LGBTQ DOCTORS continued from previous page because of a bad experience with a doctor in a previous area of medicine. Most never even reported these experiences due to fears that higher-ups wouldn’t do anything about the issue, that they

wouldn’t be taken seriously, that they would be discriminated against in future, or because they didn’t want to out themselves.

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The Gay and Lesbian Medical Association (GLMA), founded in 1981, aims to address some of these issues which face LGBTQ doctors and patients. They have undertaken research into determinants of health which disproportionately affect members of the LGBTQ community and offer a free webinar series to help medical professionals become more competent at providing care for LGBTQ patients. This sort of education is vitally important: It can’t only be non-straight and non-cisgender physicians who are responsible for treating LGBTQ patients and educating their colleagues. There has to be concerted effort to teach all medical professionals to appropriately and respectfully treat any patient they come across. In the WBUR article, Dr. Mark Schuster recounts some truly shocking stories about the treatment of LGBTQ patients: surgeries being canceled, care and comfort being withdrawn, and clear distaste and humor expressed towards lesbian patients, transgender staff, and others. He believes that times have changed in many ways and for many people, al-

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though he notes that more work needs to be done. Sadly, the stresses and strains of handling their identity at work can also cause LGBTQ doctors to struggle with their physical and mental health. In a 2018 blog for the Psychiatry & Behavioral Health Learning Network, Dr. Michael Myers, a professor of Clinical Psychiatry at SUNY-Downstate Medical Center, describes the importance of creating a safe space for LGBTQ physicians seeking mental health treatment. He notes that microinsults and inequities in the workplace may also be related to ethnicity, religion, or other factors, not just sexuality. While some LGBTQ physicians may grapple with internalized homophobia, others are outright subjected to ignorance and bigotry at work. We must remember that while LGBTQ physicians can offer us important, thoughtful help, they may themselves be struggling.

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all around the world benefits the medical profession and patients of all persuasions. Without them, care can be straight and

that mold. In a 2019 Insider article by Caroline Praderio, Ariana, a young lesbian, mentions the exhaustion of being presumed straight by physicians because she is “very femme-looking”. An-


THE IMPORTANCE OF OUR LGBTQ DOCTORS other lesbian, Kassie, was told off by her physician for not using

tance of LGBTQ doctors for not just their patients but also the

birth control because he assumed she was having sex with men.

wider medical community. As well as respecting the scientific

When she mentioned that she was a lesbian, he didn’t offer any

gains won by those before them, physicians also pledge to

relevant health advice. While many LGBTQ patients have expe-

“gladly share such knowledge as is mine with those who are

rienced this form of heteronormative focus, others report outright

to follow”. LGBTQ doctors don’t just serve their patients in an in-

bigotry and insufficient care.

credibly difficult job, just like their straight colleagues do – they

There are ways to get around homophobia and transphobia in

also forge a path of openness and understanding, leading by

medicine. While word of mouth in the local LGBTQ community

example, which is making medicine better for everyone. Having

can be the best way to find a trustworthy, competent doctor,

LGBTQ doctors can make the world of difference for a patient. In

there are formal ways to identify help. GLMA offer a provider di-

a 2019 Medium piece by Lux Alptraum, one trans man named

rectory to assist lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer

Carlin Soos mentions “I only started getting regular STD tests be-

people with finding medical professionals that they can trust

cause [my primary care provider] understands that transgender

and feel comfortable with. Planned Parenthood also offer LGBTQ

men can, in fact, be gay.”

services all across the US and the World Professional Associa-

There is a power, a bravery, and an amazing humanity to practic-

tion for Transgender Health offers a list of transgender-affirming

ing medicine as an LGBTQ physician. These healthcare profes-

healthcare providers.

sionals may battle bigotry in their workplace from colleagues

The Hippocratic oath, which all physicians take and which binds

and patients, and can experience the same treatment when

them to act ethically, offers a beautiful example of the impor-

they find themselves ill. However, they push on, offering lifechanging, lifesaving, and life-affirming care to others.

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GROPIUSHOUSEPROVINCETOWN

above: Circa 1960; Front exterior | source: Provincertown Public Library Achives

By Erin weaver Facing a salt marsh at the far West End of Provincetown on a dune with a spectacular view of Long Point stands a masterwork of 20th century Modernist Architecture known as the Gropius House. This is an anomaly – despite Provincetown’s famous tolerance for progressive thinking, evidenced by its recognition as a thriving LGBTQ community and favorite creative refuge for bohemian artists, writers, and painters, the town has little modern architecture. The Gropius House is one of the few truly contemporary homes in this quaint pocket of the world which was once a fishing village, where Captain’s Houses and Cape Cod cottages still abound. The characteristic Gropius House is a phoenix of sorts, reborn from the ashes of a previous build. When a fire destroyed the home of Dr. Carl Murchison in 1956, burning down the so-called “Castle Murchison”, he vowed to rebuild. At the time, he was quoted in the local newspaper, The Advocate, as saying, “The house will be modernistic, just as different from the old as it can be.” He commissioned the Architects Collaborative of Cambridge, or TAC, for the job. Of the eight founding partners of TAC, three worked primarily on the Gropius House: its namesake, Walter Gropius (1883-1969), Robert S. McMillan (1916-2001), and Benjamin Thompson (1918-2002). It was Gropius, a pioneer of modernism at the Bauhaus, who was largely responsible for creating the house based on a Japanese temple design with minimalist lines and large expanses of glass. For this reason, it is frequently referred to as “the Gropius House”. Gropius would have worked with the Murchisons on concepts and then developed them in collaboration with McMillan and Thompson. One particularly interesting note from the Building Provincetown Website which mirrors the book Building Provincetown indicates that Dr. Murchison and Walter Gropius were close acquaintances, or perhaps even friends. They exchanged a number of letters, including some addressed to Gropius in a familiar but angry tone which complained about the “outrageous costs of his ideas” and “lack of cost control.” However, Gropius was a fair-minded leader – in 2014, Jane Thompson, widow of Benjamin Thompson, wrote that “Gropius was world-famous, but a complete egalitarian. His weight helped TAC in its relationships, but he did not promote himself even as the ‘senior’ of partners. People just assumed it. With his personal participation, it is fair to call it a ‘Gropius House,’ with fair notice to the other talents working with him.”

28 savoirflairmagazine


The Building Provincetown Website suggest that Gropius and Murchison probably did much of the design development together, and although it was Robert McMillan who stamped the final drawing set, it was Gropius and Murchison who provided drawing sketches. In fact, some of Murchison’s early ideas were well established in terms of space and placement. Gropius signed the architect’s contract and later wrote to Murchison’s wife, Dorothea, after her husband’s death, “I enjoyed working with your husband and you.” Completed in 1957, the 2400-square foot beach house is a twostory structure with three bedrooms, loft-like living, dining, and kitchen areas, a large terrace, and covered balcony spaces above.

above: Circa 1960; Exterior entrance | source: Provincertown Public Library Achives

The contours and curvature of the land combined with the city’s

placement on the crest of a hilltop offers direct access to the out-

23-foot height limit were used to develop a snug, intimate relation-

doors from each floor, while principal rooms are situated on the

ship between the architecture and the site. Indeed, the house’s

upper level to take advantage of the seaside views. The lower level

below: Circa 1960; Dorothea and Carl Murchison pose at the cabana pool | source: Provincertown Public Library Achives

continued on next page

savoirflairmagazine 29


GROPIUSHOUSEPROVINCETOWN

continued from previous page

contains guest rooms, as well as functional and service rooms.The house was both cleverly constructed and stylishly decorated, with original furniture designed by the iconic modernist designers Hans Wegner and Kaj Franck from Design Research, which was founded by Benjamin Thompson for TAC clients. Wegner and Franck were leading figures of Danish and Finnish design and applied arts from 1940 to 1980, contributing strongly to the international popularity of Mid-Century Danish design which persists to this day. At the time of the house’s completion, Preview, a national real estate magazine, described the grounds in reverent tones as “scrupulously maintained throughout”, including both the main house and “a modern 4-room year-round Colonial cottage with 4-car ga-

above: circa 1960: dining room with built ins.

rage, a 6-room Gate House with 2-car garage and furnace room, year, Koch noted the sumptuous details featured in the house’s design, from the swimming pool’s water which is maintained at 80 degrees throughout the season, and the cabana “loaded” with furnaces, tanks, pumps, and a chlorination plant. Koch comments on the two dressing rooms and “complete modern laundry”, and mentions specifically that the life preservers by the pool are “as real as they should be in Provincetown and are not painted on the wall as someone thought.” Every aspect of the property is well thought out. There are flood lights beneath the pool water which illuminate the whole area and an Italian pencil fountain to catch the eye. The teakwood and bronze entryway to the house follows the design of a Japanese temple entranceway with a Shinto Shrine cross timber overhead. To Koch, the stairway inside the house is “a work of art in any man’s language” with a walnut handrail and floor trimming and teak treads and stringer. She points out two consis-

The floorplan of the property is seen here.The Murchison home contrasts with earlymodern houses built on Cape Cod during the 1940s and 1950s. The Murchisons spent $300,000 to build their house, an enormous sum in the late 1950s.

and a heated 25’ x 50’ deluxe swimming pool with cabanas.” Additionally, the Gropius House is described as enjoying “welcome privacy” thanks to the four acres of expertly landscaped grounds. According to Preview, “the entire property is superlative in every way, combining enviable seclusion, beautiful location, unexcelled recreational advantages, and a superbly built residence that embodies all the best in modern architecture and appointments.” This praise was echoed by Joyce Koch of the newspaper The Advocate after a private viewing of the property in 1960. In May of that

30 savoirflairmagazine

below: circa 1960: livingroom with marble fireplace


GROPIUSHOUSEPROVINCETOWN Provincetown author and collector Irma Ruckstuhl, a family friend of the Murchisons, is quoted on the Building Provincetown Website as saying “The Murchisons frequently had large cocktail parties, to which we were sometimes invited. When the house was quite new, they would proudly take their guests on a tour. My general impression then was that it was quite impersonal. I was told that Gropius or his associates also designed all the furniture, and that ‘Dot’ Murchison had to fight to keep a velvet-covered Victorian settee, perhaps a family heirloom, in the master bedroom.” continued on next page

tent motifs across the design: the decorative linearity, and the use of brown and white. The chimney and floor in the main gallery are a smooth flow of Italian breccia marble. The floor is a sophisticated bluish-gray Vermont slate. Light diffuses smoothly inside thanks to the unlined draperies of handwoven Isle of Malta cotton. The light fixture above the stairway is a clear example of the careful thought that went into every detail of the house: the six-unit piece was created by an architect who worked tirelessly with toy balloons on strings to find the perfect clustering. below: circa 1960: 80 Foot Gallery along the East side

above: circa 1960: portion of the gallery off the dining room.

savoirflairmagazine 31


GROPIUSHOUSEPROVINCETOWN continued from previous page

Sadly, Carl Murchison had only a short time to reside in the house. He passed away in 1961, not long after a house-warming party that was attended by Frank Sinatra, among others. According to Irma Ruckstuhl, he left behind two children: a daughter, Marjorie, and son, Powell. His wealth derived from his work publishing several lucrative psychology and psychiatry journals, which were stored in the property’s gate house, as far as Ruckstuhl knows. Powell, a ship’s radio operator, went on to marry Mary, an older woman who ran a local clothing store, which apparently caused confusion at times as she was alternatingly identified as his wife and mother. After her death, he remarried another woman, Barbara, a situation which Ruckstuhl described as “another long story in itself”. Carl’s wife, Dorothea “Dot” Murchison, moved to Sun City, Arizona, where she later passed away in the 1980s. After the completion of the Gropius House, Walter Gropius himself wrote a public letter to the advisory commission for the newly designated Cape Cod National Seashore, urging the US government to adopt modernist designs for the park’s visitor centers. “Here is the opportunity to make architectural history for ourselves by designing in unmistakable terms of our own period,” he argued, adding that to keep “reviving revivals” would be to “confuse the art of architecture with archaeology.” Carl Murchison kept a copy of that letter. Later on, the letter passed into the hands of art collector and entrepreneur Clifford Schorer, who purchased the Gropius House

from Barbara Murchison, Powell’s wife, in 2008. Schorer undertook an authentic restoration of the house and grounds in connection with the overall redevelopment of the 3.5-acre site as a nine-unit subdivision which included the original Gropius House, a substantially rebuilt and expanded gatehouse, and seven new houses. In 2011, Schorer wrote that the major structural work on the main house was difficult as the house had been somewhat cast aside for the prior 60 years. While he said that he was “disheartened by the lack of care”, he described himself as very impressed by the quality of the original construction, which had survived “major storm damage, insects, and other serious issues” which had been untreated for 35 years. After restoring the main house, Schorer took on an ambitious project: adding a guest house that would echo the modernistic architecture of the original home. Eventually, he did just that. Schorer commissioned Hariri & Hariri Architecture to build this bold guesthouse for the residence. The most important influence came directly from Gropius’s rectilinear forms and neutral materials, studiously adapted and incorporated into the build. With these faithful additions to the original structure, this impressive building is as striking today as it was upon its original completion in 1957. While the house’s original owners may have passed, the Gropius House lives on as a local landmark with a rich, stylish, and enduring history.

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BUYING ADVICE By Chloe Bell

MID-CENTURY MODERN FURNITURE Mid-century Modern Furniture is currently a staple in many homes. Mainly reproductions, the geometric details, sleek lines, and warm wood finishes create a cool functional originality. If reproductions aren’t for you and you enjoy the thrill of searching for collectible, vintage pieces, Midcentury Modern furniture is always a good excuse to go on a treasure hunt. Finding original pieces isn't always easy. Here are a few tips to find vintage Mid-century Modern furniture for your home.

FIRST, DON’T JUST TRY ANTIQUE STORES Antique stores are terrific for finding vetted Mid-century furniture but the finds tend to lean toward high prices, and rightfully so, since the sellers have done their homework and possess professional knowledge to locate these prized items. If you’re on a budget and don’t minding going the distance for what you’re looking for, you can seek under-the-radar bargains at other places, such as Goodwill, thrift stores, flea markets, garage sales, or estate sales to find items that haven't been snatched up by collectors. Also there are many online websites such as Craigslist, Facebook Marketplace, Etsy, eBay, Chairish, or EBTH to find Mid-century pieces where you can filter the results by location. Many of these are generally priced low compared to the furniture at antique stores because they haven't hit the collectors' market yet. And don't be afraid to negotiate the price. When searching online search the names of recognizable brands, designers, and furniture. Mid-century furniture often carries buzzwords, titles, and names of prestigious designers or brands that resonate with Mid-century enthusiasts. Some names to look for are Ray and Charles Eames, Isamu Noguchi, George Nelson, Eero Saarinen and Harry Bertoia to name a few. Keep the names and some keywords available so when you search a site like Craigs list for Mid-century furniture, you'll know to search for an "Eames chair," a "Knoll sofa," or an "Eero Saarinen Womb chair." Sometimes more general search words are advantageous since the seller will not be well versed in the style such as modern authentic rather than Mid-century. In addition when searching for Mid-century furniture online, it can be helpful to think of terms that were used during the era. Instead of searching for a "cabinet," you might search for a Mid-century "sideboard," "buffet," or "hutch." This will open up your search query to authentic, bona fide Mid-century pieces, like a "secretary" instead of a desk or a "tallboy" for a chest of drawers. MID-CENTURY ELEMENTS TO LOOK FOR Authentic Mid-century pieces tend to be made of woods like teak and walnut (and bamboo and rattan), metal, glass, plastic, and even Lucite.The minimal lines are usu-

34 savoirflairmagazine

ally curved, smooth, and unfussy, projecting an efficient yet attention grabbing look. Review images of Mid-century decor online that highlight this genre, note characteristics and recognizable elements that you like. This will help you narrow your search so you can find exactly what you're looking for faster and easier. Also when inspecting a piece prior to purchase, look inside drawers, under seats, and on the underside of tables for signage from the original manufacturer. Additionally, a piece of furniture made with veneer versus solid wood is also a telltale sign of an inferior reproduction. RESEARCH Do your homework by researching the name and brand of a particular piece and compare it to some of the other prices that you see online. Always get a feel for the cost by online comparison that way, you'll know if something is overpriced. Connect with Mid-century online groups which can assist you with a difficult pricing challenge. Find these groups on Facebook. You'll be surprised to learn that many of these enthusiasts have located their Mid-century pieces through local thrift shops and Craigslist. A LITTLE LOVE Mid-century furniture looks its best when it's clean and free from blemishes. The typical style of pristine woods and plastics can show wear and tear easily. Carefully inspect every angle for defects when searching for furniture online or in person. Always ask an online seller for additional photos. Conversely, you might encounter a piece that has good bones and would look perfect in your home, but its appearance is less than perfect. In that case, factor in the extra cost to rehabilitate the piece which will determine if it's worth the time and money. And if it's just a few small scratches, then it may very well be a find that is easily brought back to its original state without much effort. At the end of the day, it's completely up to you to decide which Mid-century treasure appeals to you. Buy items that speak to you to create a Mid-century mix in your space that feels good and will showcase your style.


T

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Flaunt it...

Thomas L. Turcketta Building

and

Remodeling

SF: Tom You come from a family of carpenters from the Lynn, MA area, why did you relocate to the Cape and what’s the difference between working in the Greater Boston area and the Cape? Tom: That’s a long story! My wife and I lived North of Boston where I had a very good business. My in-laws had moved to Dennis in the 1980s. So we spent a lot more time coming to the Cape. We knew we wanted to sell our house and move. We looked in Ipswich and Essex, there weren’t many homes on the market in either location. We had decided to stay in our antique house and continue to make improvements. The real estate market was in disarray and the value of our house had dropped. But we figured we could always move later if things changed and we would retire to the Cape when the time came. After we thought about it our decision was made to stay, we had come to the Cape for a weekend before starting any more work on the house. We were having breakfast at restaurant in Dennis just looking through real estate magazines when my wife was commenting on the houses for sale with enthusiasm! I asked her in your heart of hearts where would you would you like to live? She said Cape Cod! So we put our house on the market and started looking on the Cape. Our house sold in one week! It all came together smoothly like it was meant to be! We have now been here for 23 years this October. We love it! SF: You specialize in restoration of antique and older homes, do you work on newer homes as well? What are your other services? Tom: Yes we specialize in antique house restoration. However we do build custom homes. We also do many custom kitchens and cabinet making of all sorts. SF: What are some of your favorite jobs and why? Tom: I have a tendency to enjoy a challenge! That’s why I like working on antique houses. There is a lot of problem solving and creativity that is involved with frame repairs and matching the new with the old while recreating a comfortable home with some of today’s comforts and luxuries. SF: What are some of the challenges in working on antique and older homes? Tom: As I stated I really like a challenge and appreciate antique houses. The frames and details in these houses presents both a challenge and problem solving. Matching details allow us the opportunity to do millwork and cabinet making. I’ve been doing this work now for 45 years now. It’s a passion with me! SF: When it comes to antiques/older homes what should never be replaced? Tom: As much of the original details as possible should always remain and be restored or repaired. We have been given the responsibility as the home’s caretaker. Antique House Facade Restoration

36 savoirflairmagazine

Interior Restoration

Custom Kitchen Remodel


SF: What advice/tips would you give to a home owner considering a renovation/restoration? Tom: Think hard about what you are buying and try to see the overall costs and value of each project you are going to approach. Be a realist, it’s going to be expensive, take time and there will be times of frustration while renovating. It’s a challenge for the contractors and the owners. Approach it with your eyes open and lastly do not go with inexperienced people! SF: When renovating an older home what should a home owner stay away from? Tom: That’s a tough question! Most things can be accomplished with the know how and of course the right amount of investment. So far we have a good record of achieving the intended goals! SF: Have you had many LGBTQ clients? Tom: Honestly I can’t say for sure! It’s not even a question that would enter my mind. I find it unimportant someone’s sexuality. I have many LGBTQ friends and acquaintances.

SF: Your company was named Best of Boston Contractor on Cape Cod by Boston Magazine. How did that come about and were you surprised? Tom: I can’t really say how it came about because I don’t know! We have been named a few times over the years with certain achievements. I pay little attention to any hype! I try to remain humble. I have worked hard at being good at what I do, honesty and fairness. I have been blessed with the right clients to allow me some success. SF: If a carpenter was starting out what advice would you give them? Tom: It’s a tough trade! You will never get rich working with your hands. But if you plan on doing it, make it a passion! You will never be disappointed! Get some quality training with hand tools. Study historical architecture at your leisure! Pay strict attention to details. And get dirty!

savoirflairmagazine 37


Flaunt it...

Hobart Village

Antique Mall Chloe Belle with Dick Fiorentino

Hobart Village Antique Mall is located in picturesque North Central Massachusetts. The name of the mall is derived from the historic Inn located on the property. The Inn was built in 1774 on a land grant given to William Hobart. Prior to and during the revolution the tavern in the Inn was a gathering place for the townspeople. An old register, now in the possession of the Fitchburg Historical Society, contains the names of famous people who stayed there, including: General Stonewall Jackson, Ulysses S. Grant, Henry Ward Beecher and Brigham Young. In the late spring of 1994, Dick and Janice Fiorentino, along with their daughter, Robin Silva, and their son-in-law, Tony Silva decided to buy the old Elsa Williams’ buildings in W. Townsend. This large property has been completely transformed and now houses the Hobart Village Antique Mall. The complex measures 16,500 sq. ft. and boasts a wide selection for its customers to explore. The second floor of the old Elsa Williams’ warehouse has become a group shop for antiques and collectables. It has 10 rooms, 85 glass cases, 8 open shelf units and 15 open booths and hosts over 80 dealers. Located on the first floor of

38 savoirflairmagazine

the complex is the West Village Antique Shop. West Village is a large shop filled with estate furniture, glass, china, prints and lots of accessories. Across the hall is the Re-Creation Rooms. This shop has a large selection of reproduction country furniture made in the New England Area including hand crafted farm tables, painted cabinetry, tiger maple furniture and mission oak furniture from the Amish in Pennsylvania. The many accessories include mirrors, prints, yellow ware, candles, country hanging lamps and much more. These rooms give the customer a quality alternative to our fine antiques.


What makes Hobart Village different from other

How would you

collectible stores?

characterize these

The shop is different from others due to the fact that

clients versus non

we carry a wide variety of antiques and collectables. We

LGBTQ community

also carry used furniture, and we also have new furni-

members?

ture made by the Amish and Mennonites which attract-

Gay guys love an-

syounger generations that want better quality furniture.

tiques, such as silver,

An alternative to Ikea, Wayside and Bobs stuff.

high style figurines, doesn’t have to be antique, Just pretty and decent quality. Do you have any LGBTQ staff? Yes I have a friend who comes in on Saturday mornings sits behind the counter and his job is talking to people. We have been friends for about 40 years, he loves antiques, and I guess you could say he is the only person other than mewho can speak about antiques.

What are some of the popular trends in recent years?

The trend is away from brown furniture, and more

What advice would you give someone who wants to

toward painted and colored stains. The trend of the Mil-

purchase an antiques?

lennials is more toward mid century modern.

Buy what you like, if you liked it some one else will like

it also.

What’s the antique market like currently? In todays marketplace its hard to make a mistake in buying things, young people are not interested in antiques so the prices have dropped dramatically. Not to repeat myself young people do not want antiques .

What makes you proud of owning a business like Hobart Antiques? I am not a proud man, my favorite word is reasonable. What is the biggest challenge in the retail and service end of your business? Selling things fast enough, 25 years ago you could sell Do you have many LGBTQ customers?

whatever you bought quickly. Kids don’t want stuff.

Yes a lot of gay guys, I have had many gay people cus-

They have been programed to not have to much clutter,

tomers over the years.

bear walls etc.

savoirflairmagazine 39


10 Tips

Finding the Perfect LGBTQ Wedding/Engagement Rings by N. McCarty Your wedding ring symbolizes the lifelong bond between you and your partner, so choosing the perfect one can take a lot of time and consideration. But you don’t need to worry – we’ve rounded up ten top tips to help you find the band of your dreams.

1. Which Rings Should You Get?

How important is an engagement ring? Should you skip straight to the wedding band? A lot of same-sex couples forgo the engagement and the ring that comes with it, but the engagement period is a truly beautiful time in a relationship. More couples are now choosing engagement rings to wear for a period before the wedding, with a complementary wedding band added on the big day. However, you don’t have to choose an old-fashioned one-stone engagement ring – you can go as traditional or as modern as you want and still create an exquisite set of rings that will stand the test of time.

2. Which Hand Do You Choose?

Of course, the hand you wear your wedding ring on is your choice, but there are plenty of ideas about what’s “right”. Some people say the hand you choose should be based on religion, some say being straight or LGBTQ should dictate your choice, and others have different ideas altogether. Many LGBTQ couples choose to wear their rings on the right hand, while straight couples tend to choose the left. It’s also common for women to wear

781-894-0523 40 savoirflairmagazine


an engagement ring on the left hand until the wedding and then replace it with the wedding band, moving the engagement ring over to the right ring finger. This really is a question of personal preference, but wearing both rings together on the right hand is a lovely choice if you really can’t decide.

3. To Match, Or Not To Match?

Many couples agonize over the idea of matching weddings rings. However, this doesn’t need to be a major consideration: Your rings don’t have to match. You and your partner are two individuals and it’s fine to choose two individualized rings to reflect that. If you’re really committed to the idea of coordinating your rings, you can always opt for similar designs that echo one another without being absolutely identical.

couples, there are no hard and fast rules. What matters is what feels right for your relationship.

6. Should You Go Ring Shopping Together?

A lot of couples shop together to find rings. You can get each other’s input on what looks good or how your rings might coordinate, which can be a lovely experience. On the other hand, lots of people want to “pop the question” and surprise their partner with a ring. In these cases, the other partner will usually go and choose a ring for their now-fiancée or fiancé after accepting the proposal. Of course, you can also go ring shopping together even if you want to surprise your partner with a proposal, but your continues on next page

4. Which Metal Is The Right Choice?

Gold? Silver? Platinum? There’s obviously no right or wrong metal for a wedding ring, but gold tends to be the most popular option, with platinum coming after. Silver is a good budget-friendly metal but its shine often fades, so it isn’t the most long-wearing choice. Given that you’ll hopefully be wearing this ring for the rest of your life, gold and platinum will ensure that you get a longer-lasting band, although you can use metal treatments to prolong the lifespan of a silver ring if you are really set on getting one.

5. Who Should Propose?

Every relationship has a different dynamic and this comes with an endless array of possibilities for who might propose and why. These days, plenty of couples discuss getting engaged before they take the big step and may even discuss who will do the official proposal. However, if you haven’t discussed it beforehand and want to surprise your partner (or be surprised!), there’s no right or wrong answer. For same-sex couples, even more than in straight

savoirflairmagazine 41


10 Tips for the Perfect LGBTQ Wedding Ring continued from previous page

choice will generally depend on the level of surprise or pre-engagement discussion you want to have.

for specifications like ring size and metal, do keep this timeline in mind. If you want to design your ring or create a totally bespoke design, expect to add a couple of weeks to that estimation. The safest way to tackle this question is by approaching a jeweler you’re interested in and asking for an approximate timeframe. This will give you a better idea of what to expect if you already have a specific proposal or wedding date in mind.

8. What If You Don’t Know Your Partner’s Ring Size?

Of course, knowing the finger size for the ring is important. You can always modify ring sizes after making a purchase, but it’s best if you know the specific measurement in advance. It’s a good idea to take a trip to a jeweler and get your fingers measured if you’re talking about marriage so you’ll both have the measurements when the time comes. If you’re abcontinues on page 44

7. How Long Before The Proposal Or Wedding Should You Shop For Rings?

Jewelers will generally take from two weeks to a month to make a ring. If you’re choosing a design that will need to then be created

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508.543.4943 | www.cindisjewelryshop.com savoirflairmagazine 43


10 Tips for the Perfect LGBTQ Wedding Ring continued from page 42

solutely set on the idea of a surprise proposal, you can secretly borrow a ring they often wear and bring it to a jeweler to get an idea of the right size. Alternatively, recruit a willing friend or family member to shop with your partner and have them get their fingers sized. If you have no other option, there are also online ring sizers which can be reasonably accurate. Your jeweler can give you more information if you’re not sure how to handle this one.

9. What’s The Right Budget?

The budget for a ring is totally personal and many factors will play a role in this decision. It’s best if you decide as a couple what is within your means and what feels right for you to spend on rings. Going shopping just to consider price and style is a good idea at this stage. This can give you both a good idea of what sorts of rings are available within different budgets. You can then decide whether you want to adjust your original ideas about budget, but remember that you can always compromise on size or quality to find a ring in the right style that is within your chosen price range. When shopping, make sure that you avoid the temptation to raise your budget without thinking seriously about it. After all, if you both wear an engagement ring and a wedding band, that’s four rings in a relatively short period of time, which can be a big

investment. Once you’re both comfortable with your budget, you should be able to find some beautiful rings to suit it.

10. Do We Have To Get Rings?

Weddings rings are ultimately a matter of tradition. As we all know, over the years, most married couples have chosen to symbolize their love and commitment with rings. However, many couples feel that rings aren’t right for them and there are plenty of other options when this is the case. If you want to choose a different symbol, bracelets and pendants are a great option and make for equally timeless reminders of the special commitment you’ve made to one another. At the end of the day, rings are the classic choice, but whatever feels right for your relationship is really the correct answer. Want a few final words of advice? Make sure the experience is enjoyable for both of you! Considering ring styles, shopping around, and daydreaming about your perfect ring can be great fun whether you’re doing it individually or as a couple. Relax, make the most of the process, and enjoy it!

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What We Wear For Our Weddings by Chloe Belle Wedding attire is as personal and individual as the relationship between the couple getting married. Nonetheless, the range of styles in the LGBT community may be a little more expansive than what you’d see at your average wedding. Here are some examples of formal and not-so-formal wedding attire from some fabulous couples who have shared their wedding stories and photos with us over the years.

Photo by Paul Nash

Two Grooms in Elegant White In dapper white suits and pale blue shirts with coordinating white shoes and ties, Joseph and Efrain (right to left) certainly made these matching outfits work. Although not technically tuxedos, every detail of their attire invokes nuptial formality and style. This delightful Connecticut couple met when Joseph was working in a cell phone store and ended up upgrading Efrain’s cell phone. You never know where you’ll meet the love of your life! So you never know... 46 savoirflairmagazine


Z

Brides in Bright White

Laura and Julie (left to right) met while working on a video research project at Boston Children’s Hospital. Their chosen wedding attire blended tastefully together while offering a distinct style for each bride. Laura’s modified column-style wedding dress was completed by gorgeous jeweled shoulder straps which mirrored the detailing at her waist. Unfortunately, in this photograph you can’t see the sweeping chapel train on Laura’s gown which made for a stunning walk down the aisle. Julie coordinated beautifully in a formal pantsuit over a satin purple scoop-neck blouse. These tasteful outfit choices make this couple’s wedding an elegant sight to always be remembered. continues on next page Photo by Kristen Schuler

Complementary Ivory and White Gowns for the Brides Z The lovely Caryn and Natalie (right to left) first met at an event at the Cambridge Women’s Center. Caryn is an accomplished actor, singer, and dancer, and Natalie is a musician and member of the Cambridge Symphony Orchestra, making them the perfect match. Their graceful wedding gowns reflect their different styles. Caryn modernized her mother’s stunning vintage column wedding dress, while Natalie opted for a form-fitting A-line gown in ivory with a delicate lace overlay to pair with her mother’s cathedral veil. These beautiful brides show that you don’t have to opt for matching outfits to look absolutely perfect together.

Photo by Kristina Gibb Photography

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Z Gray Suits for Two

continued from previous page

Elegant Grooms Seven years after meeting at a house party, Patrick and Douglas (left to right) finally connected, started dating, and tied the knot. Both grooms are pictured in their handsome dark gray tuxedos with elegant silk vests and ties. Their matching dress pants have a traditional satin tuxedo trim down the side of each leg, while corsages on their lapels echo each groom’s vest and tie colors: a purple calla lily for Douglas and a sage mini calla lily for Patrick. As Patrick owns a floral business in Bedford, New Hampshire, these tasteful floral details were an easy choice. The lovely couple live and work in New Hampshire.

Photo by Bob Falco

The Grooms Wore Plaid

Z

Creative couple, architect Dan and lighting designer Sean (right to left) chose the near-mythic landscape of Iceland as the backdrop for their wedding. Both sported suits for the occasion with Dan in a brown plaid wool option with a blue tie and Sean wearing a stylish blue plaid wool look. Dan’s modern black boots with pant cuffs tucked in offered a current style to the grooms’ looks, while pocket squares and smart ties added some classic coordination.

match the natural beauty of the landscape where they were wed. The eye-catching attire charmingly reflect this individual couple’s creativity and fun style. 48 savoirflairmagazine

Photo by Kristin Maria

The couple’s lapel corsages were native Icelandic wildflowers to


The Brides Z Wore White and Black Geraldine (left), a bioinformatics scientist from Belgium, and Jessica, a major in the Air Force Reserve from Nebraska, are a happy couple living and working in Massachusetts. Their wedding showcased a classic choice for lesbian ceremonies with one bride in a suit and the other in a gown. What immediately stands out in their exquisite outfits is the matching turquoise color elements which unify the two looks. Geraldine’s columnstyle gown is complete with a waist-length veil and beautiful chapel train. Meanwhile, Jessica’s smart tuxedo suit is custom fitted with a formal turquoise vest, pocket square folded in a pouf, and Manhattan black and white tuxedo shoes. This attractive couple were married outside on a beauti-

Photo By Mara Brod

ful fall day in Harvard, Massachusetts.

Z Brides in Distinctive White and Gray Christina and Amanda (left to right) live and work in Western Massachusetts. For their wedding, Christina opted for a stunning A-line gown with a long veil and chapel train, while Amanda wore a smart gray tuxedo vest and pants with a crisp white shirt and matching pink silk tie and pocket square. Without a tuxedo jacket, Amanda’s look is fresh, modern, and sophisticated. The bright white color of her shirt mirrors Christina’s gown, bringing their color palette together in perfect har-

Photo by Ryan Williams

mony. In this picture you can see Christina holding a bouquet made from book pages to match Amanda’s paper lapel flower. The pretty literary touch coordinates with the overall white and gray color scheme chosen by this amazing couple. continues on next page

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continued from previous page

Stylish Brides in Pants Erin and L.A. (left to right) first met when they both joined the Freedom Trail Marching Band in the Boston area. This elegant couple knew that the dress /skirt look wasn’t what they wanted for their wedding. Erin realized early on in the planning process that she wanted to sport formal black tails. Her final tuxedo look was complemented by a black bowtie, silk vest, and black patent leather shoes. As she had always been partial to a Mandarin jacket, L.A. sported one in distinctive white with flowing white palazzo pants, white patent leather shoes, and a formal black vest. The charming couple chose styles that beautifully reflected their individuality for a striking and stylish wedding.

Photo: Steve Baty

The couples featured here show just some of the many styles you can choose for your own wedding. The options are endless, but hopefully these happy brides and grooms provide you with some great nuptial inspiration!

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Tips for Coordinating Your Wedding Outfits by Erin Weaver Like any other wedding style, same-sex nuptial fashion is all about wearing whatever makes you feel like the bride or groom of your dreams! If you’re struggling with narrowing down exactly what that is, we’re here to help with six tips for coordinating your same-sex wedding looks to suit the vibe of your wedding, your personal style, and your need for comfort on the big day. Dress for Comfort, Not Just Style Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you both need to wear the same thing. What really matters is that you and your partner feel as comfortable as possible when you get married. If you hate wearing dresses in your everyday life, you don’t have to wear one as a bride – unless you want to! This is your big day, so choose a wedding outfit that makes you feel great, whatever that means for you. When you find yourself daydreaming about your perfect wedding, what do you see yourself wearing? Go with your gut and don’t worry about arbitrary wedding rules.

Figure Out Your Wedding Style The overall look of your wedding will probably influence what you wear, so figuring out your wedding style is a good place to start. What’s the style of your venue? What season are you getting married in? Is it a morning or evening ceremony? Check out Pinterest, Instagram wedding accounts, and wedding magazines if you’re having trouble determining the style you want for your nuptials.

The Berkshires is the perfect destination for your wedding. Crissey Farm is a moderately priced, “green”, banquet facility located in the beautiful Southern Berkshires of Western Massachusetts. Our professional team is fully equipped to host your LGBTQ wedding ceremony, reception, rehearsal dinner or other special event needs. Visit our website for package and pricing information or contact us directly: info@crisseyfarm.com 426 Stockbridge Rd., Rte. 7, Great Barrington, MA (413) 528-4844

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continued on next page


Complement One Another Do you and your partner want to wear the same style but you’re not sure how to make it work? Don’t focus on finding identical wedding dresses. Instead, look for two gowns with features that speak to each other, like coordinating pops of color, fabrics, or beading. Even with different dresses, you can complement one another through accessories like hairpieces or jewelry. Remember that harmonious looks have as much to do with contrast as they do with sameness, so opting for different silhouettes or hairstyles can do a lot to make your looks distinct while still telling the same story.

Or… Choose Matching Outfits There’s nothing wrong with wearing matching wedding looks, especially if you’re suiting up for the big day! Getting the same suit tailored or briadal gown for each of you or choosing matching ties, pocket squares, veils or shoes can let you appear as a single unit at your wedding and situate the contrast between you and your guests instead of you as a couple.

Choosing a wedding outfit can be daunting but following these tips should help you choose the perfect look for your big day! savoirflairmagazine 53


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Are gay guys flashy and materialistic, and do lesbians revere commitment? Are these just stereotypes or is there some foundation in anecdotal evidence that determine our likes that extends to our car preferences? Of course the other possibility is that this all just represents the mean, and in reality, individual LGBTQ people are as driven by their varied needs as any other diverse segment of the population. Most likely both are true to some extent.

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COMMUNITY CAR PICKS continued from previous page Joe LaMuraglia, founder of gaywheels.com, the gay-friendly online automotive resource says,“I’ve always said that cars are like peacock feathers on wheels: men need to have the biggest and brightest to attract their mate.” Joe just finished fielding a 3500-plus person gay and lesbian driver’s survey, and he has some real firm data on what our community want their cars to communicate. “Every car buyer has different sets of needs, or what I call check boxes,” LaMuraglia said. “Gay men say they want their car to tell others that they are successful, sexy and well-off.’” Lesbians on the other hand according to Joe’s gaywheels.com survey reveals something different. “Lesbians indicate that their vehicle choice tells the world that they are practical, environmentally conscious, and partnered’.” In other words, they’re driving a prius. With that survey in mind here are some of our top picks for our community.

BMW SERIES 8 Described as a dynamic, sporty car with a handsome, tech-rich interior this community popular brand is a high profile choice for men who are all flash. Impressive, agile and responsive, this car blends powerful engines, athletic handling, and a well-designed cockpit. Who could want anything more in a driving partner who also boosts a 16-speaker Harman Kardon surround sound audio system? continues on page 58

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COMMUNITY CAR PICKS continued from page 56

Subaru Outback Women in our community love this car but we know several gay men that also own one due to the great safety rating, good MPG and 4 Wheel Drive standard for serious off-road capabilities, not to mention a cargo rack on top. So who needs a UHaul when you own this beauty? Camping, room for kids, dogs or cats, this is a great vehicle, along with a great company that was the first to court the LGBTQ community, bucking the status quo at the time.

Chevy Corvette What says success, sexiness and money more than this iconic American sports car. This is a true dude magnet with a 6.2 liter V-8 making 490 horsepower that endows it with supercar performance. It’s flashy, fun and highly rated. The Corvette is available as either a coupe or a convertible with a folding hard top. We’d pick the convertible so you can be seen in this beauty and hear the roar of the V-8’s engineer unhindered.

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COMMUNITY CAR PICKS Ford F150 RAPTOR This truck goes both ways both for the gay man or lesbian, it’s truly butch in the streets or off road. The description on the Ford’s website is an ‘extreme off road vehicle; it goes from mild to wild. This is a great looking tough, truck with tow capacity for camper towing or moving antique furniture.

Toyota Prius Prime Environmentally friendly with a sporty look, this car marries the hybrid with an electric vehicle, so no range anxiety here. This vehicle is a good fit for environmentally conscious lesbians. A hatch back makes grocery shopping easy for the family or fold back the seats and put mountain bikes in for adventure on the trails.

Tesla Model 3 Tesla has single handily changed the electric-car landscape, now with this affordable ($36200) model, puts this car in reach to many echo savvy women and men who were put off by the high price tag of other Tesla Models. The base model 3 claims a range of 250 miles or upgrade to the Long Range Performance models that increase its estimated range to 322 miles. The Model 3

Ford Mustang An iconic American sports, boy toy car, the newest model is a head turner. For the guys that like to do some designing, there’s a lot of interior and exterior customization available. Some interesting exterior colors are available such as orange and lime green for those men that like to be the trendiest. Get noticed—the roar of the power engine will let them all know that you have arrived. Powerful with the all-new Shelby GT500®, the most powerful street-legal Ford vehicle of all time. It combines a supercharged 5.2-liter V8 engine and a TREMEC 7-speed transmission for aweinspiring power. It’s the fastest Mustang ever on a straight line and around curves. And with a nod to adrenaline junkies everywhere, the GT500 was designed with fighter jets in mind — the result is a precise and aerodynamic exterior and a top speed of 186 mph. Relive your youth or drive to impress with this head turning American car. It ‘s sleek, handsome exterior will effortlessly take on any road challege and you’ll never have hesitation up a hill. Power and looks what else matters? continues on next page

boasts quick acceleration and a future-forward, minimalist interior. It now detects traffic lights (even the colors of the light), traffic signs painted on the road (such as lane arrows, railroad crossings, and bike lanes), cones, trash cans, stop signs, and pedestrians. This combination of radar and camera detection is getting a ton smarter, and Tesla says this visualization is a preview of the promised full self-driving capability that’s still in the works which can be added to the model 3. An option so that your car will get the feature once it launches is available for an additional cost. savoirflairmagazine 59


COMMUNITY CAR PICKS

Aston Martin Valkyri Aston Martin is a British brand that’s synonymous with opulence, but this auto maker has never had a hypercar to call its own. That changes with the launch of the Valkri. This hypercar takes its name from ancient Norse mythology, the Valkyries being the spirits who decided the fates of men in battle. This high performance car is great for the guy who want to display wealth and for a cool 3 million this baby can be yours. If you can’t attract attention in this hypercar, you’re on the wrong planet. Along with its over-the-top styling, the Valkyrie’s hybrid powertrain produces a staggering 1160 horsepower. No problem passing in the left lane, hopefully the radar detector is working.

Honda Odyssey Described as a Swiss Army Knife on wheels, it’s great for women who have children, dogs, go camping or just want to pick up a few friends for softball. And who needs to rent a UHaul for your next relationship. It’s been described as comfortable and roomy with sophisticated styling and upscale materials. The easy-folding third-row seat allows you to quickly switch from passengerto-cargo-carrying duty. Available CabinWatch and CabinTalk tech features let you keep an eye on and talk to rear passengers. Why do people keep buying crossovers? If cargo capacity and seating space are top priorities, a minivan and this one in particular is highly rated.

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