Listen deeply

2. Positive beginnings. A conversation will break down if it starts by confronting with demands, assumptions and complaints. Coming from a place of inquisitiveness will be better received and responded to. Ask open questions instead of questions that can be answered in „Yes or

No‟ .

At the same time, avoid asking too many questions as being too inquisitive can make them feel pried upon. Rather, a spontaneous conversation during an activity such as, a chat while waiting for a meal etc. can make for some meaningful communication.

3. Listen deeply- Listen deeply and genuinely to what teens say, give them full attention and look at their body language too. Even a spontaneous comment about something that happened during the day is her way of reaching out. Communication and cooperation can be easier when they feel that we are listening to their point of view.

“I’m worried that you haven’t been your usual self. Is everything OK?”

4. Make I statements rather than u statements- “I” statements

help to focus on own experience of a situation and so helps to avoid blaming and criticizing other people.

“You” statement:

“Why do you always come late for dinner?

You know I have other things to do.

You make me call and call and you take forever to come.”

“I” statement:

“I feel frustrated when I find you missing from the dinner line.

I don’t like calling you again and again and I begin to think that I will have to leave the other children and climb up the stairs to bring you down”

Response to „I‟ statements are received less defensively than you statements.