An anthology of animal jokes
Hilarious Rabbit Editor Branko Vasi
Illustrated by Dobrosav "Bob" ivkovi
Papa Bear was fed up with the little bears sitting in front of the computer screen all day, so he decided to tell them how he and his friend Rabbit had once had lots of fun although computers had not even been invented. So he sat each on one of his knees and opened a photo album. "Each of these photographs represents a story. For example "
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Mr and Mrs Crow are sitting on a branch and chatting. On the ground below is a small tortoise. After a while, the tortoise begins laboriously climbing up the tree. Finally reaching the top, the tortoise jumps off, flailing its arms and legs in the air‌ and hits the ground with a thump. Mrs Crow turns to her husband and says: "Should I tell the little one or will you?" The tortoise again labours its way up the tree, dives and crashes. "Please tell him, darling," says Mrs Crow, but her husband remains silent. Once again, the little tortoise climbs up, takes off, waves its arms and legs in the air, and connects with solid ground. Mrs Crow looks at Mr Crow sternly: "I think it is finally time to tell him that he was adopted!"
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Rabbit enters Bear's new shop on its opening day. "Do you have any strawberries?" he asks. "No, I don't,' replies Bear. The next day Rabbit is back. "Do you have any strawberries?" "If you ask me one more time, I'll beat the living daylight out of you," says a visibly angry Bear. The next day, Rabbit is back. "Do you have one-inch nails?" he asks. "No, I don't,' replies Bear. "Then can I please have a pound of strawberries?"
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As he is walking through the forest and smoking a cigarette, Rabbit runs into Daisy the cow. "You should be ashamed of yourself," says Daisy. "You're so small and already a smoker!" "Who are you to tell me!" replies Rabbit. "You're not acting your own age, either!" "What do you mean?" asks a puzzled Daisy. "Look how old you are and you're not even wearing a bra!"
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Rabbit asked Bear to take him across the border without a passport. "Please, Bear, smuggle me across the border!" "I can't," said Bear. "How do you think I can do something like that?" "Please, please! I will just hide in your pocket and stay quiet!" "Oh, all right!" said Bear grudgingly. At the border, the policeman peered at Bear suspiciously. "What's that in your pocket, Mr Bear?" he asked. Bear quickly slapped his pocket hard and pulled out a flattened Rabbit. "Oh this? It's just a picture of Rabbit!"
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A gang of snails attacked Mrs Tortoise, who barely escaped with her life. When the police came on the scene, they asked the tortoise to describe the event. "I don't know - it all happened so fast!" she replied.
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