Kréhon Magazine Issue 3

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THE AUGMENTED EDITION

ISSUE 3 ● 2018

kréhon Johnny Nel + TARRYN JEFTHA + JESMÉ SWARTZ + KELLY MORKEL + TAMRIN CALVERT

THE MOST INKREDIBLE

Team!

kréhon Liam BARNWELL

Lee-Ann KLEINSMITH

Tamrin CALVERT

Lizel MAASDORP

Tarryn JEFTHA

Rishon NAPHTALI

Demi Jade JOHNSON

Melanie PIETERSEN

Sibahle KHUZWAYO

Shaan WOCKER

a beautiful family of feature based writers and contributors

editor’s note

Welcome to More W

eaving together issue 2 & 3 has been quite an interesting process. It prepared me for the future editions, which will be released on a monthly basis as of January 2019.

I thank God for the great opportunity to assemble this ensemble of colourful personalities and diverse stories. Life is meant to be celebrated. Especially with the dear people around us. We continue to do just that in this issue, following part A of the Augmented Edition.

Coffee with Johnny Nel (p28) lead me to really think about how much attention God pays to us, daily. I am truly energised by Johnny’s relentless expression of his gift and how he strives to build others by simply being him.

Much like Tarryn Jeftha, a passionate

physiotherapist who talks to us about the Benefits of Exercise (p8) and Kelly Morkel’s first book release ‘Time In (p46), for the pure love of families enhancing the growth in their connection with one another and their Maker.

The Realities of Femicide by Sibahle Khuzwayo (p40) is a must-read. We cannot place enough emphasis on how we must destroy the target of destruction on our women. They face this horror on an hourly basis - year after year. It is time to put the devourer in its place!

Let’s not neglect, but protect our women.

Here’s to more. More edification. More celebration. More attention to the things that matter.

You matter and you are blessed,

EDITOR: Mark Zion PHOTO BY: Brent October

#LifeEdified

kréhon

Johnny Nel

KONTENTS

THE AUGMENTED EDITION

BODY

THE PASSIONATE HEARTBEAT OF JOHNNY NEL

28

014 CHEF MELO COOKS A DELICIOUS CHICKEN CORN CHOWDER RECIPE

016 PEPPERMINT CRISP WHIP SMART FRIDGE TART

BY LEE-ANN KLEINSMITH

08

Benefitness

40

Realities of Femicide

58

Wine or the Wineskin

SOUL 038 THE JESMÉ CHRONICLES THE FACE OF DIKBEK CHRONICLES SHARES HER LIFE JOURNEY THUS FAR

34

S P IR IT 060 CHRIST THE HEALER

BY SHAAN WOCKER

062 WHO IS GOD TO ME? POEM BY TAMRIN CALVERT

066 ROCK-ART ROCK-ART + MISSION ON WHEELS

BY MARIUS VISAGIE

066 LYRICS + MUSIC LAUREN DAIGLE, MAKE ROOM TOUR, SONGS TO LIVE BY

RELAT IO NS HIP

070 WEAR YOUR VERSE PASSIONATE PROJECT BY MAGASELA SAYS

50 DATING AND COURTSHIP RANDOLPH BARNWELL PRESENTS BIBLICAL DATING AND COURTSHIP

54 INBETWEENERS TIPS FOR A DREAMY MARRIAGE

BY LIZEL MAASDORP

51 FOOD & BLANKET DRIVE THE AJ FOUNDATION IN THE COMMUNITY OF MACASSAR

46 TIME IN WITH KELLY MORKEL

25

FINANCE 072 PROFESSIONAL GROWTH LESSONS FROM DUMISANI NCUKANA’S EXPERIENCES

p p p p

r r r r

o o o o

k k k k

l l l l

a a a a

i i i i

m m m m

e e e e

r r r r

kréhon

DISCLAIMER

PROKLAIMER THE VIEWS EXPRESSED I N T H I S P U B L I C AT I O N ARE STRAIGHT FROM THE HEART

LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE

EDIFIED EDIFIED EDIFIED EDIFIED

A N D B O L D LY B O X - L E S S

kréhon

BODY

Bo

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Bo ⏐ FITNESS

BENEFITNESS & Tarryn Jeftha D

Neil Esau + Leandrie Kotze

“Everything is connected and everything matters,” was one of the realities that has definitely spurred me on to lead a physically healthier life.

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efore my pursuit of studying physiotherapy, I spent most of my free time with my glutes on a saddle and a helmet on my head. This then progressed into venturing into triathlons’. My main passion is bicycling of any sort-mountain biking, road cycling and BMXing.

During my undergraduate career I filtered all of time into finishing my studies successfully within the prescribed time frame. However, neglecting to take care of my physical being compromised my emotional being. The World Health Organisation (1998), mentions that the determinants of health are a range of behavioural, biological, socio-economic and environmental factors that influence the health status of individuals or populations. The fact that I was focusing all of my

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time and energy on my studies was significantly comprising my health without me realising it completely.

I was having monthly visits to my doctor for a B12 injection and daily doses of vitamins and iron supplements to try and make up for my poor emotional eating habits, and sedentary lifestyle.

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BENEFITNESS

I’ve gone from being toned, fit, focused; balancing both leadership at high school and academics to becoming plumpy, grumpy and hibernating with my nose in my books.

This was my new reality. I didn’t like my new reality, I hated the fact that everything was so linked- everything mattered and everything was connected. It took weeks for me to get my mindset right about changing my eating habits and starting to exercise again postgrad. This shift, for me, did not happen overnight. It took much longer than what it should have, as I was not internally motivated and I did not have good enough reason at the time to make this change.

With the demand of life increasing at a steady pace, my lethargy increased and health decreased. This was not the version of Tarryn that I wanted. 2018 started, and I now had a motive to “optimise while cultivating,” this however demanded of me to change the way I valued myself. I wanted an optimal Tarryn, utilising her potential optimally. As I was now pursuing post graduate studies, working and wanting to maintain relationships and friendships.

The shift in my mind, manifested effortlessly into everything else. I now don’t have to fight to get up for gym at 5;30am for gym, head off to work commitments, get home early evening, spend time with my family and friends and spend hours reading and writing

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for my studies till after midnight. This has become easy, a sweet pleasure to look forward to, only because I’ve got a new vision for myself. I envision an optimal version of myself. My journey to leading a holistically healthier life, was not spurred on by the sensation of having a figure like a trigger, but it’s to assist me in achieving my goals in life.

THE SHIFT IN MY MIND, MANIFESTED EFFORTLESSLY INTO EVERYTHING ELSE I found that whenever I tried to exercise or eat healthier with the aim of loosing weight, it never lasted because I was not getting objective results, soon enough, to prove that my efforts were worthwhile.

Whenever you want to make a change in your life, always make sure that your reason for wanting to do it is important enough for you. It is imperative to be mindful of your vision for yourself too. As your vision will define your “what to do” in life factor.

Your vision for yourself will also control your power of choice.

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BENEFITS OF EXERCISE

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YOU WILL BE HAPPIER, decreasing depression and your perception of pain. This will take place regardless of the intensity or duration of your exercise. Exercising releases endorphins that promotes this.

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PROMOTES WEIGHT LOSS: Increasing physical activity will increase your metabolic rate, thus allowing your body to burn more calories.

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#

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INCREASES YOUR ENERGY LEVEL; even those struggling with chronic fatigue and chronic illnesses.

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BENEFITNESS

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GOOD FOR MUSCLE AND BONE GROWTH: Exercise helps release hormones that promote the ability of your muscles to absorb amino acids.

Amino acids help them grow and reduces their breakdown. It also prevents osteoporosis as one age.

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DECREASES THE OCCURRENCE OF CHRONIC ILLNESSES: Regular exercise has been shown to improve insulin sensitivity, cardiovascular fitness and body composition, yet decrease blood pressure and blood fat levels.

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NEGLECTING TO TAKE CARE OF MY PHYSICAL BEING, COMPROMISED MY EMOTIONAL BEING

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IMPROVEMENT IN MEMORY AND BRAIN CAPACITY: Exercising promotes blood flow and oxygen to the brain. It also promotes positive changes in the structure and function of the brain. These changes prevent the onset of Alzheimer’s and schizophrenia later on in life. The hippocampus (a part of the brain that's vital for memory and learning) also grows in size as one exercises.

DECREASES INSOMNIA AND PROMOTES BETTER SLEEP: The energy depletion that occurs during exercise stimulates recuperative processes during sleep. The increase in body temperature that occurs during exercise is thought to improve sleep quality by helping it drop during sleep.

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In conclusion, engaging in exercise promotes optimal well-being, positively affecting all the determinants of health. Ensure that your motive for engaging in exercise, is important enough to you, to keep you going beyond your emotions. Never abort the mission of becoming the best version of yourself, you are worth the end result. â“š

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Chef Melo’s Chicken Corn Chowder & Melanie Pietersen

YOU WILL NEED:

x3 fillets KRÉHON

x1 Large !1 4

1tbsp, crushed

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Bo ⏐ FOOD

FOLLOW THESE QUICK & EASY STEPS: 1. Place your dry chicken cube stock in 2 litres of water. Bring to boil and add the chicken fillets. Allow that to boil for 15 minutes until cooked through. Remove the chicken once cooked and allow to cool off in order to shred the chicken by hand.

4. In a separate shaker, add your flour and a cup of milk and shake it up until smooth and thick. Add this to your saucepan to create a thickened mixture.

5. Add more milk depending on how thin you want your chowder. Alternatively add some more chicken stock to make it a runnier soup.

2. In a large separate saucepan, on medium heat add a tablespoon butter, add the garlic and onion, sauté until translucent and soft. Add your canned sweet corn and whole kernel - be mindful to continue stirring this mixture as you proceed.

6. Once done, add salt and pepper to taste and I add a hint of paprika for a spicy kick, which is optional.

7. This chowder is best served warm with a freshly baked bread or just as is.

3. Add the shredded chicken together with two cups of the cooled chicken stock which was used to boil the chicken fillets.

chicken stock

cake flour

1 tin sweet corn + 1 tin whole kernel

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x1 cube !1 5

½ cup

½ litre ISSUE 3 / 2018

Bo ⏐ FOOD

4h

Prep Time

+ 30m

Set in Fridge

Serves: 6-8

WHIP-SMART FRIDGE TART PEPPERMINT CRISP

INGREDIENTS: 250ml OR FRESH CREAM

& Lee-Ann Kleinsmith KRÉHON

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INSTRUCTIONS:

A

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Whip the Orley Whip and then add the caramel treat, one grated Peppermint Crisp chocolate bar. Beat until it gets really slow and fluffy.

Pack a layer of whole tennis biscuits in the bottom of a rectangular flat glass dish.

Scoop the caramel mix over the biscuits and layer evenly.

C

D Cover with cling wrap and refrigerate. Let the dessert set in fridge for at least four hours or make it the night before.

Place the second bowl of grated peppermint Crisp chocolate bar or the peppermint caramel mix.

x2 Bars 1 Tin 1 Packet

be extra crispy KRÉHON

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& Demi Jade Johnson

&

TRENDS FOR GENTS KEY ITEMS

The Short Sleeve Button up Shirt This classic is back in bold colours and prints from tropical blooms to clean cut stripes.

Wear it buttoned up for a minimal look or open for something more laid back.

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Bo ⏐ FASHION

short sleeve https://www.businessoffashion.com/ fashion-week/menswear-spring-2019/fendi/ collection/look/14

TROPICAL https://superbalist.com/men/ tops/shirts/resort-ss-shirtblack/178032

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http://lookbook.nu/look/8379141

AROUND THE BLOCK

https://superbalist.com/men/ tops/shirts/91-ss-shirt-vertstripe-print/185354

STRAW STRIPE KRÉHON

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Only&Sons at Superbalist.com

Give your denims a reboot with these fresh new looks.

Keep it simple in double denim or have fun with a jumpsuit.

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NEW

DEN

IM

https://superbalist.com/men/jeans-pants-shorts/ jeans/john-denim-overalls-blue/167798

Louis Vuitton SS19 https://www.vogue.co.uk/shows/springsummer-2019-menswear/louis-vuitton/collection

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E E E E

F B F B

R E S H O O T R E S H O O T

fresh

Off-White SS19 https://www.vogue.com/fashion-shows/ spring-2019-menswear/off-white/slideshow/collection

R R R R

JUMP https://www.pinterest.com.au/ pin/492159065507436241/

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https:// za.pinterest. com/pin/ 135389532 531347613/

Only & Sons at Superbalist.com https://superbalist.com/ men/jeans-pants-shorts/ jeans/onsstripe-carrotjeans-light-blue/167799

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A KIND OF CAMO KRÉHON

DSQUARED

Traditional camouflage gets an update with different shades and patterns.

CAMOFLAVA CAMOFLAIR !2 4

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Only&Sons https:// superbalist.com/men/tops/tshirts-vests/van-camo-teegrey/141278

White Mountaineering SS19 https://www.businessoffashion.com/fashionweek/menswear-spring-2019/whitemountaineering/collection/look/18

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LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT FIT?

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KRÉHON

kréhon

SOUL

So

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So ⏐ COVER

Johnny Nel Drumming is not the only sound thing at the heartbeat of Johnny’s life. He truly values people, especially the ones who motivates him to be his very best.

This is the story of a young man with a zest for life and the backbone to remain standing while lifting others to see their potential grow taller than what they could’ve imagined.

& D

Mark Zion meneervandeventer

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J

ohnny Nel (born John Geldenhuizen Nel) is a passionate drummer and musician. Johnny was born in Pretoria to his father Johnny Nel Senior who is a drummer as well, and his mother Ingeborg van Eijk, a housewife.

Johnny’s interest in music grew as he became more inspired by his dad who is also a Radio Broadcaster. At age 3, Johnny heard his dad play drums for the first time. He then started tackling the drums himself at age 5. From age 7 to 13, Johnny already started playing songs in their home studio in Modimolle, Nylstroom (Limpopo, South Africa). He practiced 1 to 3 hours daily, depending on how long it took the neighbours to complain about the noise. On the other hand, Johnny’s parents were concerned about his academics due to his mind being solely set on drums as opposed to school and other activities.

“Learn from your mistakes. Don’t run away from your problems. Accept what you faced, push through and grow. See your potential shining through” the time, he was part of a Blues/Swing band called Recorder whilst being a full time student. On weekends, he worked at Audiotorch which allowed him to get a better view of the Gauteng music scene. He then had the opportunity to interact with some of South Africa’s top Rock/Blues Bands such as Dan Patlansky, Black Cat Bones, Jack Stone, Saarkie and so many other distinguished local artists.

Eventually, Johnny (an only child), decided to leave school at the unconventional age of 14.

He then got the opportunity to audition for Copa (College of Performing Arts) in Pretoria.

He may have been too young to attend college at that age, but it was a relentless pursuit. His tenacity opened the door at Copa who accepted his application regardless of his young age.

Although this was not on his parents’ agenda, they welcomed his decision and gave him their full support. Not only did he become a college student at age 15, he also moved out of his parents’ home - all for the undeniable love of music.

Johnny’s life revolved around the exploration of the music industry. He obtained an honours degree (diploma) in music and acknowledges his dad as his first role model. He later began playing drums at church, which he considers to be quite challenging yet rewarding, seeing that the best musicians in general are mostly church musicians. Being a hardworking drummer, it is great to know that Johnny also enjoys fitness and makes it a priority to exercise regularly.

At age 16 Johnny started auditioning for Rock, Blues and Metal bands all over South Africa. At

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Now at age 22, Nel defines Mentorship as very important. “It’s vital for your development as a person and as an artist,” he says. He also recognises the importance of submitting to accountability. He sees the benefit in being mentored by someone who helps push his potential. “It’s not to break you down, but it’s to build you in various ways. To help you set great goals which you can tick off as you achieve them.” Having the support of his parents as well as a life coach motivates Johnny to keep pushing for greatness.

focus on helping others, which is something I always strive to do.” Being competitive is good, but Johnny advises that one should never aim to shove other people down. “See competition as something you can learn from. Perhaps a goal you can attain. I struggled with competitiveness, always trying so hard and putting pressure on myself. But playing in church helped me to shake that off.”

“If something doesn’t draw me closer to God, I know it’s not from God.”

“Learn from your mistakes. Don’t run away from your problems. Accept what you faced, push through and grow. See your potential shining through,” Johnny answered when asked about the greatest lesson he learned before turning 18.

Johnny’s blueprint for life is found in none other than God, who is the ultimate source of his existence. When it comes to decision making, Johnny relies on God’s wisdom and timing. “God is proactive. God does not sit still.

He has always been there for me. My decisions are always based on what God tells me and how He guides me. I can only move forward if I stick with God,” he says with a thankful heart. “If something doesn’t draw me closer to God, I know it’s not from God.” Transparency and vulnerability plays and important role in Johnny’s day-to-day connections with whomever he engages with.

He encourages other young musicians to be strong and bold in their craft. “There may be people that want to break you down, but you shouldn’t focus your attention on that. Rather

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Johnny Nel “I PLAY WITH PURPOSE, WHICH IS BACKED BY YEARS OF PRACTICE AND EDUCATION IN MUSIC. I TAKE PRIDE BEING A DRUMMER” KRÉHON

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Johnny also discloses that qualifications doesn’t matter much when you allow God to do things through you, with the talent He has blessed you with. “Stay away from being prideful. Pride is a prison. Be humble on whichever platform you’re on. Don’t block yourself from learning from someone younger than you, who may be more advanced in your field.”

about moving forward,” he says. Johnny makes it his task to go back to the drawing board when necessary.

Johnny has had many highlights this year, including participating in the Nando’s Music Exchange in London where he worked with artists from around the world. His 2018-list also feature touring with Jack Stone and building his brand solidly. “I realised playing drums and performing live was the perfect way for me to blend my passion for music with my amplified interest in being a musician. Now I play with purpose, which is backed by years of practice and education in music. I take pride being a drummer”.

Having lacked exposure as an artist for quite some time in his life, Johnny encourages artists with hidden talent to network, network, network. “Praying, networking and building relationships got me to where I am today. It’s tough, but if you do the last mentioned, you will surely reach great heights.” As a drummer, Johnny advises young drummers to attend drum clinics and to never stop learning. “At the end of the day, you’ll meet the people you need to meet. It’s hard work and it’s all about process.

It is evident that Johnny Nel is a refreshing conversationalist with the intention of making one believe in your potential, whatever your interests may be. As a musician, Johnny has great skill and great taste in a feast of flavours (genres) of music. With his methodical work ethic, nothing can stop this diligent drummer from making his mark in the music industry.

For Johnny, his processing starts with God, who he acknowledges to be everywhere. “God is peace and I experience His peace by meditating on His Word. I’ve accepted that things can get really tough sometimes, which is why I make sure that I surround myself with key people. My pack are people I esteem higher than myself.” Whether you’re in a fortunate state or not, Johnny emphasises the importance of having a plan, setting short-term goals and making sure you reach those goals.

“You will and need to be challenged. But remember that the trials that build your character. The storm may be tough, but God is in there with you. Your attitude determines how long you remain on a level. Be intentional

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Thank you for being so bold and courages, Johnny. I salute you and I celebrate your contribution to music and life! ⓚ

Facebook: johnny.nel Twitter: J0hnnyVEVO Instagram: @johnnynelofficial LinkedIn: johnny-nel

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So • PERSONALITY

THE CHRONICLES OF JESMÉ & D

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Mark Zion Sass Perfection

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B

orn in Upington on a very hot summer’s day, Jesmé Swartz graced her mother’s arms after 6 years of struggling to fall pregnant again. During this time Jesmé’s mom Esmerelda, pictured what her daughter could look like, seeing that she already had a son. “My mom says that when I was born, my features met all her expectations. All the things she prayed for, like my big curly hair and beautiful brown eyes,” Jesmé says cheerfully.

and later on she involuntarily straightened her big curly hair just so they could stop putting her in a dark spotlight. “I tried my best to appear less than over-confident and things became so toxic, I just wanted to impress everybody.”

She then asked herself “is my life worth it?”

She questioned her existence as the bullying seemed to have tarnished her soul. In 2013, Jesmé and her family moved to Kuilsriver where she started attending De Kuilen High School during the 3rd term that year. Hoping that her new school would offer a different experience, she quickly grew accustom to negative comments like “who does she think she is?” instead - when she was simply being friendly and respectful towards teachers, effortlessly making conversation with them as opposed to kissing up to them.

At the age of 4, Jesmé’s personality already sparkled her passionate and spontaneous nature. Her creative imagination ran wild and she quickly made 5 imaginary friends whose names she doesn’t remember, except for one Jamie. “Jamie had “gladde hare” (straight hair). I think she may have been Australianwhite,” Jesmé says giggly. During those primitive years, her small eyes already took note of the big needs all around her especially when she saw homeless people on the streets. She always wanted to help by giving bread or at least a R1 to someone, which was a lot for her as a child. “I always wanted to bring comfort to sad people.”

“My female peers would isolate themselves during break and make plans to fight with me.

It took a lot out of me. I kept reminding myself not to fight fire with fire. I kept thinking what would I achieve had I fought back...”

“I always wanted to bring comfort to sad people”

Despite her kindhearted nature, young Jesmé was often picked on at school. “We all experience some form of bullying at some stage in our lives, which I believe stems from jealousy and numerous other factors,” she says. Her physical features and bubbly personality was always on the radar of her peers who falsely accused her of seeking attention. She mentions how as a junior she had to sit with seniors during school breaks

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possible psychological error, communication is key in order to make a change. “Once I got to know the people who picked on me, I learned that most of them come from broken homes, where they’re not being valued nor getting the necessary attention etc.”

“Let me your friend, don’t make a victim. I’m here for you...” These are the words Jesmé often thought to tell her bullies. Even today, she would want to build and encourage them to persevere, endure, learn to be secure in themselves even though they may have been victims of their household situations or circumstances. “I am so thankful that God was there for me when I was at my worst.”

Forgiving others and herself became a regular practice for Jesmé, as she refrained from entertaining the harsh darts thrown at her.

Surprisingly, she became friends with her “enemies” and still has a close bond with them today. “I just let it go. I was at peace. I can tell that it wasn’t me, but that God was working in me. He was whispering to me, telling me to endure as He helped me get through these things.”

Really getting to know yourself whilst being exposed to so many different people form part of Jesmé’s highlights growing up. My grandmother always says; “Once you’re out there, you really need to know who you are.

Know who God is and know who He is in your life.”

“Love thy neighbour, love your enemy” became Jesmé’s mantra. Although she was often excluded from circles during group work in class. After sharing her hurtful experience in full detail on Facebook, Jesmé realised that what she went through was tougher than what it may look or sound like to others. “My experience is not your experience. Bullying is bullying and I went through hell because of it.”

Jesmé always maintained a high standard in her academics, working hard and finishing what she started. Her main goal though, was and is to appreciate the people around her.

Especially after losing so many loved ones. She has learned to appreciate people the material value they may bring, as she esteem the love they surround her with much higher and the small gestures to show that they care.

During our conversation, both Jesmé and I agreed that we (everybody in society) aren’t doing enough. It seems as though it would take someone special to change a bully’s life. “I feel sorry for bullies. I cannot help but wonder about the things they may be going through in their private lives. What makes a bully decide to become one?” In pursuit of correcting

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“I had such good role models. Their guidelines helped me with my life’s blueprint regardless of the many mistakes I made. There were so many rocky moments, but they all came with a valuable lesson.” !3 6

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“You really need to know who you are, know who God is”

honest, thought-provoking entertainment with an informative edge to it. “It’s about transforming and renewing minds which can lead to greater things,” she says.

STUDENT LIFE Jesmé had always wanted to become a Psychologist, but soon realised that she’d rather pursue a career as an Anthropologist instead. With a wide interest in various other cultures, she wishes to embark on a journey of open-mindedness without forgetting or neglecting her roots as a woman of faith and her relationship with God. “I want to be tested, challenged and learn to overcome whatever may come my way in this adventure, which I know forms part of my purpose,” she says.

“It’s actually funny how your disappointments can be turned into something really hilarious.

As soon as I saw how angry the SnapChat filter made me look, I liked it and decided to record my ranting very spontaneously.” Labeled a Drama Queen, Jesmé couldn’t resist exposing the situation she was dealing with at the time.

“I realised people were following me, repeating my punchlines and so I decided to create a Facebook page, which my friends also encouraged me to do.”

DIKBEK CHRONICLES I have always admired Jesmé’s fluency in what I call organic Afrikaans. She takes immense pride in her home language which became an unexpected phenomenon simply because she has a natural drive to communicate truth, substance and good old advice. By now, Dikbek Chronicles and the name Dikbekkie is a household name all over.

Around 93 000 likes (on Facebook and Instagram collectively). Jesmé couldn’t have imagined that her first rant via a social media video would create such an hilarious stir which would multiply into a respected series of

“I am basically voicing my opinion. As noticed by my mom as well, I realised that I’m simply saying what other people (sometimes choose to) keep quiet about. I’m not saying every other person is the same. There are certain topics that most can relate to. Some normalised things which has to be unlearned or undone in a sense. If a young person listens, they could perhaps change their mind about certain things and have some dignity and respect. For instance, one is not supposed to be courted via the inboxes on social media. I have heard testimonies of people letting go of toxic relationships. That’s enough to make me continue addressing situations like these.”

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“Growing up, my mother would always say “is jy weer dikbek?” when it looked as though I was throwing silent tantrums. That is how the name of this character (which is me) came to be. I always have an attitude in my videos.” (giggles)

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when asked how she would encourage her peers to be bold and confident in making a name for themselves as hopeful artists/ entertainers. Her advice is to “know what you want to do and just starting somewhere.

Anywhere. It’s never easy and we all know that great things do not happen overnight. But we can all learn to be patient, which is not easy, but definitely worth it.”

She kindly reminds every young person to not try too hard, to refrain from doing it for fam and to just be themselves. “Don’t overthink everything and don’t be too analytical.

Surprise yourself and allow yourself to be the best you can be. Don’t stop. Keep moving.”

EXTERNAL VISION Hosting a soup kitchen, helping women in poverty and the youth of South Africa form part of Jesmé’s external passions. “Nelson Mandela said; “the youth of today are the leaders of tomorrow” and I believe that where you are is not your final destination,” she says.

“People always think a leader is a big shot. But remember that you are a leader in your house and your community.” Miss Swartz is adamant about motivating young people to come out of the dark wholes they may find themselves in by focusing on various issues such as teenage pregnancy, drug abuse and gangsterism. She urges youngsters to find a way to escape, whilst encouraging people in general to take someone’s hand in support of their restoration.

“A young child can have ambition, but it’s tough when no one takes your hand,” she says.

Jesmé simply loves what she does, whether she got to 2 like or 20 000. “I don’t care about the like. I simply keep moving with the purpose in mind,” she says.

FIVE YEARS FROM NOW In the next 5 years, Jesmé envisions completing her Masters, being all over the place regarding her various endeavours. She hopes to be a stronger person who can achieve more than what she has done thus far.

“Hopefully I’ll be settled with my significant other, being independent and perhaps starting a family. I would want to learn lessons which I could pass on to others and hopefully be wiser than what I ever thought I could be.”

Here’s to endless possibilities of a young woman with vision that includes her fellow human beings.

STARTING A BRAND “The industry can be really vicious and platforms are seldom friendly,” Jesmé says

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Thank you for being an ambassador for truth, Jesmé. We are cheering you on! ⓚ

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R E L AT I O N S H I P

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kréhon

Re • CONCERN

f f f f e e e e m m m m i i i i c c c c i i i i d d d d e e e e KRÉHON

the realities of

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CIDE & Sibahle Khuzwayo

When you turn on the news, you hear about the horrific stories of women being belittled, abused or murdered by their significant others. Women all over the world are taking to social media to voice their anger and to encourage those who are directly affected by abuse to find the courage to leave their abusive partners. Some women are living in hellish situations, alongside those they fear and finding ways to survive every day. They walk around with heavy hearts, annihilated dreams, bruised self-confidence and courage to face a new dawn in situations of hopelessness.

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series of shocking events have rocked mainstream media.

Women from all over the globe are taking to social media to raise awareness. The media is also reporting on the high number of female deaths at the hands of their loved ones. Femicide - that is the term used to describe the phenomenon that is ripping society to threads.

Anni Dewani was killed on 13th of November 2010, while on honeymoon.

It was later discovered that her death was not from a random hijacking but her husband had allegedly orchestrated her death. The news of Reeva Steenkamp’s death rocked the nation after her boyfriend Oscar Pistorius shot her to death on Valentine’s Day in 2013.

Karabo Mokeona died under dubious circumstances and subsequently burnt to ashes. Her boyfriend Sandile Monstoe was recently convicted for her murder. Zolile Khumalo, a first year student at Mongosuthu University was gunned down by her boyfriend and he admitted to the murder on social media.

A woman from Mofolo in Soweto was gunned to death by her live-in partner during an altercation on 31 May. Maletsatsi Kutumane was murdered by her husband in front of her young children on 27 May this year.

These are a few incidents that have been reported on in the media and have rippled through social media. If one pays enough attention, you will realise !4 2

that the numbers are increasing at an alarming rate. Almost on a daily basis, the female population is rocked by the news of yet another death and their anger is palpable. It’s scary to know that it is not strangers that are killing these women. What is scary is that any woman who is breathing lives either in fear that she might be next, by her lover’s hand or by a stranger’s hand.

This has many petrifying implications for single women who have dreamt of marrying since a very young age.

Women who watched their mothers being beaten by their husbands but stayed. This has crippling implications for women who are in abusive relationships, covering up their emotional and physical bruises because they have been taught to persevere in their relationships. It is unclear as to why the burden of perseverance lies on the backs of women while men are not held to the same standard.

This has terrifying implications for the young girls we are raising to be “strong young women” who will be the pillars of homes while we refuse to mould young boys into honourable men. Men who should be empathetic to what women experience from time to time they step outside of their homes every morning.

Men who should be standing in defence of every woman, regardless of her past or her present. Men who should be actively ensuring that they do not play a role in victimising women. The very men who should not be degrading ISSUE 3 / 2018

women because their position of power comes from female subordination. What this requires is a generation of men who understand what inspires submission from a woman. Males who understand what circumstances must be fulfilled in order to be considered a real man. What is often missing is the layer of understanding that men have enjoyed the privilege of patriarchy and have been placed a head above the rest for the simple fact that they were born male. I can just imagine the men rolling their eyes and labelling this as a feminist piece that seeks to elevate women at their expense.

Before you choose to take a stand on what this article seeks to achieve, listen to what the female population is saying. Listen to what the women are trying to tell the world.

The women who want to be seen as more than homemakers, wives, mothers - whose role is only important in the household. A household headed up by a man, who is king and makes all the decisions. Men who get the opportunity to wake up to go to work every morning alongside with their significant others. When they come home, they get to watch TV and relax because he has had a long day while he expects his significant other to cook and clean.

If you struggle to understand what women are grappling with right now, all you have to do is watch what happens. A young girl cannot wear whatever she wants because she will be catcalled to kingdom come while walking down the street. By the man standing on the street corner, the man who hoots at her while he drives past and the men gathered at the taxi rank. A woman is KRÉHON

verbally violated often and society has turned a blind eye. There are woman who stand in support of this, through their actions of policing what women wear and justifying why men deem it necessary to comment on a woman’s physique without consequence. These women stand in support of patriarchy, their inaction speaks volumes about their complacency about the makeup of society.

It is unclear as to why the burden of perseverance lies on the backs of women while men are not held to the same standard.

The very same women who have been through the same hardships become desensitised to the plight of their own. Men enjoy the unaltered privilege that is born of patriarchy while the older women have earned their stripes because of their age.

They policy the patriarchal society and stand in a position of power, to advise the younger women on how to conduct themselves in relation to the existing apple cart. They turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to pleas of the women who have been beaten, raped physically and emotionally.

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“WE ARE TIRED OF NO ONE BEING WILLING TO LISTEN TO US AND DEFENDING US.”

The cry is somewhat universal: “We do not feel safe. We feel victimised by the injustice of society’s double standards and lack of regard for our value. We do not feel like we matter much beyond our wombs, looks and homemaking skills. We are tired of being deprived opportunities to raise our concerns about the rape and murder statics rising while it seems like society is watching like spectators at a soccer game. We are tired of no one being willing to listen to us and defending us.”

One can imagine what implications this has to the current generation of abusive men, their accomplices through inaction and the young men learning at the hands of the current tormentors. The cycle is not being broken. The habits that are being observed and enacted remain abusive. It is scary how many young boys grew up watching their mothers being beaten by their fathers, hated their fathers for inflicting pain onto their beloved mothers yet have somehow ended up doing the very same thing. Somehow, the suffering of what they witnessed doesn’t resonate and inspire them to be instigators of change but have propelled them into the role of perpetrators.

exist, there are injustices that are done against women by men that need to be highlighted and stopped. Through attacking those who stood in defence of “the few good men”, an opportunity to educate was amiss. People will rarely understand what is not defined sufficiently.

The movement #totalshutdown is a campaign that is similar to the #menaretrash movement.

There are many ways to skin a cat, but what must always be understood is which cat we’re skinning and why the cat must be skinned. The purpose to any movement is crucial and shared understanding sits at the centre of the success of activism.

The issue is that men are not listening to the frustrations brought to the table. All they hear is the “attack” that has been waged against them. The men are trash hashtag was a confusing movement for those who did not have context. Those who stood in defence of the good men they knew were attacked. We cannot deny that there are good men who exist; men we need to continue being good men. What the movement was trying to highlight was that despite the good men who KRÉHON

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The society structures that should exist to promote equity and justice fail many. A woman goes into the police station to report that she was raped? The police ask what she was wearing, whether she was drinking or if she was with her significant other. If the answer is yes... you’re ridiculed and this deters women from reporting crimes done against them. A woman goes to get a protection order against her significant other? The police scoff at being embroiled in domestic issues when they could be fighting crime. This is why some men are bold enough to beat their “women” in public because there are no real repercussions. Those who persevere because the option of not fighting back could have life threatening consequences, face additional struggles in their quest for justice. Firstly, women have to jump through hoops to get a protection order that isn’t worth the piece of paper it is written on. Secondly, when the protection order is delivered...some police try to play marriage counsellors, playing cupid and forcing people to make up. Where is the protection that is a consequence of the oath taken to protect and to serve? This creates a situation where women have to fight back by any means necessary because justice seems to lie outside the law. This cannot be the conditions under which women are forced to live their lives.

abused. Hold the law enforcers and the abusers accountable. Empower the abused in order for them to stand as conquerors one day. Let’s teach our future generation of women and men to be kind, respectful and considerate of one another. This is not a silver bullet solution but a place to start.

Society needs to try and find ways to heal the scars that keep festering. ⓚ

WE CANNOT DENY THAT THERE ARE GOOD MEN WHO EXIST; MEN WE NEED TO CONTINUE BEING GOOD MEN.

Every individual has the ability to do something to make a difference. It has to start with us. Don’t stand aside and be an accomplice through inaction. Isolate the abusers, make them carry the shame that is sitting unjustly on the shoulders of the

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Re • FAMILY

TAKING SOME TIME OUT FOR TIME IN & Mark Zion ⏐ D

Keziah Petersen

S

tart children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6). These words define Kelly Morkel’s unceasing passion for children and the nurturing of their souls. Her natural touch produced the release of her self-published book titled Time In, earlier this year.

impact in the minds and hearts of children.

That they may never forget the roots in which their foundations were firmly set. So that they can keep building their houses on the Rock that is everlasting.

This family project stems from a lesson prep Kelly was preparing for one particular Sunday school service. It was about teaching young ones how to pray and being comfortable to pray. “Oh my word, I just kept on writing, which surprisingly built the framework for this book which took about a year to complete.”

A refreshing writer, director and conversationalist of note, Kelly’s unique, friendly and familiar approach in children’s ministry excites one when picturing future projects being manufactured in the colourful rooms of her heart. In grade 9, a frisky 14-year old Kelly began her journey in children’s ministry. She has written 6 plays, which often revolved around Christmas and Easter. Love and forgiveness were the central concepts presented in simple ways by which children could understand the story. Kelly’s vision has always been to create a positive and lasting

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Time In comprise of 5 interactive chapters, filled with various elements that allow parents to go on a journey of intricate discovery with their young children who are still in the process of learning and gaining basic knowledge and understanding. Throughout the book, there are 3 constant icons indicating a complementary activity, portion of scripture and prayer. As well as a recap section to go back to and replay the fun-filled interactivity.

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KELLY MORKEL with her self-published book, TIME IN at the interactive launch she hosted proudly earlier this year

Chapter One - Your Senses encourages children to explore various things by using their senses. They learn countless things by smelling, seeing, tasting and feeling with the guide of their parents who can ask them various questions in pursuit of teaching their children about this God-given ability.

This is really rewarding regarding the improvement of their memory and driving their imagination.

Chapter Two - Prayer answer questions children may have regarding prayer. They can learn things like what prayer is, how to pray, where to pray and why we pray. This is vital, as prayer is the speed dial to heaven.

The way we communicate with God, which is the channel through which we build relationship with Him. This chapter is a great blueprint (much like the entire book) for the moulding of a child’s discipline as a young disciple.

Chapter Three - Fruit of the Spirit Part One is so fundamental in the pruning of a child’s character. This chapter gives an introduction to the Fruit of the Spirit, which is a key factor in our expression of Who God

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is and how we maintain relationships and general standards wherever we may find ourselves and whoever we may engage with.

Chapter Four - Fruit of the Spirit Part Two continues to explore the heart of God’s love for us. Knowing that your child can learn about this from a young age, should bring a lot of comfort to a parent’s heart when imagining how their children, when older, would address them and others in various seasons of their lives.

That they may never forget the roots in which their foundations were firmly set.

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Kelly and her brother JARROD MORKEL who made the book come alive with vivid design.

“Why should we wait until our kids are a certain age to encounter God? Why can’t kids pray for their parents?”

Lastly, Chapter Five - Holy Trinity. Once children know and believe the incorruptible truth about who their Maker really is, they would surely be raised in the Fear of the Lord, which can build their strength and affirm their identity in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Being aware of the Holy Trinity’s presence in their lives, children will know what to do whenever they may feel lost or alone.

With God’s direction, this easy-flowing project was made possible by the wonderful support Kelly received throughout the process of making this dream a reality.

Along with various loved ones who helped with literature and editing, Kelly’s brother Jarrod helped knit the book together with his detailed design skills in the lay-out. He was also one of Kelly’s greatest motivations in activating this project.

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The main purpose of Time In is for parents to take time out of their busy schedules and spend it with their children as they learn more about the word of God and about each other.

In the past, parents weren’t really much involved in their children’s spiritual journey. This book creates an atmosphere of togetherness and the intentional interactivity through which parents and children can learn together. “Why should we wait until our kids are a certain age to encounter God? Why can’t kids pray for their parents?” Kelly asks with the same passion she uses to write and teach. It’s about a journey of vulnerability where parents can fill the gap with fresh engagement as opposed to just asking their children about how their day was.

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Ultimately, the determination of good communication is what brings people together. This book is another way for families to fellowship together. The parent leads but everyone partakes in the journey. As parents, you can have as much fun with this book by shuffling the activities as time goes by. Know where you child is at and accommodate them right there. At the end of the day, Time In is one of the companions that will certainly help children feel more comfortable to share the contents of their hearts with their parents, without feeling weird or shy. It’s all about establishing a relationship of safety and trust.

Time In is currently stocked at Glenview Bookstore in Houtbay, as well as Focus On The Family Africa, based in Durban. Kelly’s heartwarming effort to produce a costeffective product keeps the price at just R70 per copy. With the festive season approaching, Time In is undoubtedly a perfect gift to bless a family with.

Thank you, Kelly, for playing such a crucial role in building a steadfast foundation for children. God knows they need it. The future cannot be but bright with precious people like you who keep their ear on God’s chest. ⓚ

THE EDITORS WHO MADE SURE TIME IN WOULD COME OUT JUST IN TIME From left: Stephen Howard Nicholson, Tim Smith, Kelly Morkel and René van Niekerk.

ONE OF THE MANY FAMILIES WHO ENJOY TIME IN WITH THEIR FAMILIES Jerome and Adele Rex with their lovely daughters and Kelly.

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Re • PRACTICE

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his 4-part series (as divided by me) will take us on a journey of highlighting the cruciality of our decision making when choosing the best-suited companion whom we want to build the rest of our lives with. We take a look at what the majority of young people overlook and what older people fail to realise throughout their timeline of intimate relationship. Marriage is no joke. But according to the masses, dating or courting seem to have been the biggest “joke” of all.

Well, joke’s over - IF you are willing to receive wisdom with an open heart which would allow you to celebrate life with the love of your life, without dramatic life-threatening explosions.

counting) filled with ever-increasing love, which produced four well-balanced children and a successful walk in ministry, embodied with significant relevance.

Earlier this year, Randolph presented a seminar on Dating and Courtship (from a Biblical perspective) to hundreds of young people at the Lighthouse Christian Centre in Cape Town. He firmly believes “how you start will determine how you finish. A Godhonouring courtship is a solid foundation for a God-honouring marriage.”

In the beginning, Randolph addressed the numerous casualties he has seen over the years within the area of dating and courtship.

Things like unnecessary mistakes, which could have been avoided and prevented had the people involved been armed with specific principles, by which if they observed, they could have gone on to live very successful lives.

Randolph Barnwell is a devoted husband, steadfast father and Senior Elder at Gate Ministries Durban Central. Leading a life of absolute obedience in faith, he has been blessed with a fruitful marriage (28 years and KRÉHON

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R AN DO LP H BA RNW ELL PRE SEN TS

BIBL I C A L D AT I NG AN D C O URTS H IP PART 1 / 4

& Mark Zion (Notes) ⏐ D

Liam Barnwell

In reference to your choice in a life partner, Randolph believes that “this knowledge could be defining and set you off on a path of tremendous blessing in your life in Christ.”

attraction or chemistry which means that they just wanna hang out, by going on an innocent coffee date, lunch or dinner. Where there is no physical contact, chemistry, sparks or stars.”

“It is my view that dating should prepare one for courtship, which should then prepare you for marriage,” he stated boldly. “When I say dating, I have to be clear on terms. Because that term means different things to different people. Depending on your culture, certain terms can mean something vastly different as opposed to another. In some cultures, a date simply means an outing.” He listed some examples like being invited to the movies or the theatre, which could imply “let’s go on a date.”

How you start will determine how you finish. A God-honouring courtship is a solid foundation for a Godhonouring marriage “In other cultures, the word dating carries some form of formality, using terms like boyfriend or girlfriend - hence “we are dating.” Regarding the popular term “we are going out”, Randolph stated how “some go right out - never to come back again, but rebelliously or unknowingly step out of God’s Will. “They go off the radar - so to speak.

There’s a detraction, a detour in terms of what God may have wanted from their lives.”

“It is simply an outing with someone to a specific place to spend some time together.

Usually with the desire to get to know the person of interest a bit more seriously.

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“The boyfriend and girlfriend status is usually linked with some form of interest. There’s a level of attraction between the two parties.

Usually in some cultures you have no intention of marrying the person. Yet you date the person without any long term goal to spend the rest of your life with that person. Dating in that scenario is totally unbiblical.”

acceptable to you. The bible must be the basis of appeal for us.”

“If you look at movies or series for example, they present a particular culture in reference to dating, courtship and even marriage. I want to encourage you - DO NOT take those standards for how you live your life. The standard for life, for the son of God, is the word of God. Period. If God’s word does not permit it, I will not practice it. If the word of God encourages it, I am free and liberated to engage in it.”

“For young people it is very easy to swop dates.

Because how you date is only based on the level of attraction to the physicality of the person - what you see externally before you.

When that tires you out, you drop the date only to pick up a new date.” Following this statement, Randolph underlined how these kind of young people seemingly don’t want to be “outdated”, but rather stay “up-to-date” in their counterfeit pursuits. “So you change your dates routinely or predictively. Because you want to satisfy the cravings of your flesh.”

“We want to redeem dating. We want to redeem the term for Kingdom Culture. Strictly speaking, the term DATING is unbiblical - it is nowhere to be found in the Bible. If you’re seeking, you can now stop because the Bible doesn’t speak of dating, but the Bible does speak of betrothal. For instance, Mary was betrothed to Joseph to be married. So the Bible does speak of a premarital state that is very serious - with marriage in view. Marriage being the end goal. I would say most people define courtship in that fashion. Where two people that are very serious and mutually attracted - one to the other - see a future with the other for the long term as they engage in a relationship/courtship with the view to marry.”

“Particularly in the West, people literally imply some form of sexual activity when it comes to dating. Believing that if we’re not sexually active, we are not dating. At this point, Randolph strictly emphasised that “if you are not married, you should not be sexually active.

That is the bedrock principle. The word of God forbids sexual activity before marriage. Listen carefully and save yourself a whole lot of trouble, heartache and pain.”

“When I asked the mother of my children for permission to court me, I didn’t even use the word date. I remember the first incident, it took a lot of courage, given my nature. I saw this red-headed beauty when I was in grade 9.

I was at a Sunday School Teachers Training Camp. I was newly saved (for about 3 months

“No matter what your concept of dating is, never allow someone else’s definition of a thing to define you, specifically when you claim to be God’s son, with God as your Father and the Bible as your GPS / standard for life.

Never allow the world to define what is

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at the time). A combination of various churches gathered. My present wife came from her church.” Seeing this young lady for the first time, Randolph inwardly knew something instinctively and at that moment told himself “that’s gonna be my wife.” I did not ask her out until I was in 2nd year university. All that while, I prayed very hard for God to keep her for me. I was convinced to a significant degree.”

you with the view to marry you later.” She said; “Okay, I would need some time to think and pray about it.” Randolph says it took about 6 to 8 months before receiving an answer from his future wife. He would phone almost every month to ask if she made a decision. Eventually, being as serious as he was, she informed him that she had come to a final decision.

“Now, my initial attraction was physical. But I want to state the following; don’t be so spiritual that you feel nothing physically.

Don’t marry a person for their spiritual strength, whilst feeling nothing physical for them. The opposite is also true. Don’t only marry because of physical attraction whilst there is nothing attractive about the person’s spirit posture.

In our friendship and courtship, I found a quality of spiritual stature and caliber within her (my present wife). Even today she is a pillar of strength to me in reference to what God has called me to do in my ministry and in my personal destiny in Christ.”

“This matter is so serious. I think, next to giving your heart to the Lord, this decision is the most important. Given much thought and much prayer. I planned to ask her out after my last matric paper, but had cold feet. We had developed a close friendship in the meantime.”

At this point of the story, Randolph advised the following; “submit what you are feeling to Godly council. It will save you a whole lot of trouble. I went to my Youth Leader, told him what I’m feeling and said “I think this is the one.” Following the guidance given by his Youth Leader, Randolph eventually mustered enough courage to take the next step.

“The person you court with the view to marry, can either rob you of your destiny in God or they can be one of the greatest facilitators of your destiny in God. It’s either going to retrogress you so far back or propel you forward into all that the Lord has got in store for you. So I want to encourage you to give this matter some serious attention.” ⓚ

“I knocked on her door, she was wearing a red dress which matched her red hair. I was so obsessed, I bought a maroon pants. We spoke.

She asked why I’m there. I said; “I would like to court you with the view to marry you.”

She’s had many boys make overtures to her to start relationships, but she did not agree to any of them. She was bowled over by my seriousness. But I said to her “I don’t want to start something casual. I am convinced that this is the Lord’s will and I would like to court

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With that said, be sure to read Part 2 in our next issue, as we continue to practice teachability in the redemption of dating. !5 3

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Re • MARRIAGE

CALLING US INBETWEENERS &

Lizel Maasdorp

I

am calling us the inbetweeners! We are somehow in-between. We are passed the honeymoon, googly eyes, goose bumps, can’t-wait-to-see-each-other, and can’tkeep-our-hands-off-one-another phase. Yet, we are not at the married-for-25-years, renewingour-vows, super-in-tune, reading one another’s minds and anticipating unspoken needs. We are somewhere in between.

We are starting a business, while employed by soul-crushing, unreasonable dictators. We are changing nappies, fighting about who’s going to wash the dishes, arguing about who is the worse driver, and whose mother we owe an overdue visit. We are struggling to make ends meet, juggling multiple commitments. Most days the romance is faded. It’s “take your kids and leave me alone” moments more often than I would like to admit. Some days you want to run away. Fortunately these days are scarce.

But the truth is, these days exist. And they can feel really bad.

For some reason I have this expectation that marriage could be heaven on earth. In the back

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of my mind this is a thought that is just stuck there. I heard it somewhere and I believe it.

This is ordained by God. Marriage is His idea after all. Yet all around us, couples are battling to “leave and cleave”. All the outside influences and inside pressures can take a toll. It can take away from the joy filled, hopeful, power-couple you start off as.

I have come up with five things that you can do today to create the married life you dream of; 1. Call him what you want him to be At a point when I had a hard time finding anything sweet or lovely about the man I married, I started calling him these two very intentional names; “honey and sweetie”. At the time, this seemed counterintuitive. It felt downright odd. However, over the course of a few weeks, he started acting strangely sweet.

He became oddly thoughtful. He began to anticipate what I needed in order to get a smile out of me. He was determined to live up to the name, “sweetie”.

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a good “better half” if you have nothing going for you. The reason this is so important to me is because I was literally the most boring person I knew. In case you didn’t know, if you have nothing to do and nowhere to go, you are tremendously draining and needy. As the saying goes, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

2. Make your needs known As obvious as you might think it is that you need help. That you need to take a bath or even a nap, that you cannot get to all the cooking, cleaning, work, ministry, studying, household chores, after-school activities and homework in the 24 hours you’ve been given, you will still have to “spell-it-out”. Tell your husband exactly what you need him to do. Be it do the dishes, bath the kids, check homework, buy take-aways, or read bedtime stories so that you can answer emails. Be specific. Verbalise it.

You cannot be a good “better half” if you have nothing going for you (individually)

3. Support his vision and dreams As wives we are called helpers. That’s what the Bible calls us. If you have a “strong personality” or low tolerance for the “work in progress”, it’s easier said than done. But having your husband’s back is an awesome principle to start implementing immediately.

Whether he dreams of playing music full time, starting his own business, preaching or writing a book. Be his cheerleader. Be his safe place. Work together towards making these things a reality.

5. Prayer, prayer and more prayer Soak your husband in prayer. Pray for your kids. Pray for your marriage. Bring your marriage before God daily. In fact, do it more than twice a day. Do it as often as it comes to mind. This way, you invite God into your marriage. Allow Him to be a part of what you are building and give Him unrestricted access.

Complain about your husband to God. Instead of talking about the problem to outsiders, talk to God, who is the only one with the power to change your husband and even your own heart and broken places, from the inside out.

Remember, you are not alone. Being a wife or husband and a parent is not as easy as it looks from the outside looking in.

I hope these five tips help you on your journey to creating the marriage of your dreams. ⓚ

Allow God to be a part of what you are building and give Him unrestricted access.

4. Get a life Literally, please, get a life. Find what interests you. What is your purpose. What makes you feel fulfilled and pursue it. What excites you to get out of bed and do every day. You cannot be

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Re • COMMUNITY

THE AJ FOUNDATION BLANKET DRIVE

& Mark Zion D Brent October

f The AJ Foundation l @accordingtotheajfoundation G admin@ajfoundation.co.za

The AJ Foundation hosted a couple of defining and impactful events throughout 2018 and the Food & Blanket Drive was certainly a highlight. Teamed up and ready to serve wholeheartedly, the crew chose the community of Macassar for this year’s Food and Blanket Drive.

Various contributions, such as warm home cooked food, loaves of bread, clothing items and beautiful blankets were collected to donate to multiple parents and children who gathered around the AJF gazebo where they not only came to receive, but also to engage with the organisers who really enjoy chatting, playing and paying heartfelt attention to everyone they meet.

It was evident how appreciative the various recipients were as they expressed so much gratitude with gleaming smiles all around. Together with their Ambassador Cassidy Williams and Bursary Recipient Simanathia Hendricks, Team AJ graced the streets of Macassar with the aim of making a difference that would soothe families, feed their souls and fill their hearts.

You are more than welcome to contact The AJ Foundation and be a part of the next Drive. You won't leave untouched once you’ve witnessed the great impact your small contribution can make. ⓚ

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SPIRIT

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Sp • KINGDOM HEART

THE WINE OR THE WINESKIN? &

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Rishon Naphtali

s it about the wine or the wineskin?

As we all only know in part, may God’s Spirit increase our understanding and insight.

The Father the Vinedresser. Jesus Christ the Vine.

We the branches produce grapes. The Vinedresser prunes us.

The grapes become ripe. They’re picked.

They’re crushed. Out of it comes juice, then wine.

A process of cultivation, maturing.

Increasing the quality, the higher its value The wine is bottled.

An appreciative wine drinker has acquired the taste.

He’s willing to pay the price.

Stop and think about this…

Why can’t we pour new wine into old wineskins? (Mt 9 v 17). Old skins become thin with age. They’ve been stretched to the limit and become brittle. The old skin will burst and not only is the wineskin ruined, the wine will be lost too (Mark 2 v 22). New wineskins are able to stretch (flexible) but old ones can’t anymore. My point being, the wine and wineskin must work together effectively.

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The purpose of the wineskin is to hold the wine inside. Without the wine the wineskin will have no purpose.

The one can’t be without the other.

I ask God, “Is the real focus on the wineskins or on the wine?”

We are the wine carriers. Within us is the wine.

The wine and wineskin go together. They are one.

What is this wine inside of us?

God is indirectly saying to us, “be ready to receive new knowledge and revelation to a far greater extent than before.” If we’re not ready to receive a greater amount of wisdom and revelation from God, we won’t be able to be effective wine carriers. The question is, are we ready to carry the weightier things in life?

The things of substance received from God? Is my mind open to say,” God, fill me with fresh wine (revelation, understanding and Your character)?”

Am I open to new word, direction and instructions from God? Am I flexible when God changes the game plan?

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Many are still functioning with old messages from God, but what is He saying to you TODAY? New means, never heard before.

Wine is not only stored in the skin, it’s also poured from it.

Pouring from ourselves for others to drink requires a continuous filling of new wine.

If it’s fresh coming in it’ll be fresh going out.

Are you filling your wineskin with fresh wine?

The wine is the reason for the need of a wineskin The Source within me. Him within me, not me within Him.

Have you told God that you allow Him to work supernaturally in and through you?

If your answer is “yes”, then you’ve got to start telling God that He may do what He wants to do through you and not what you’d like Him to do. Let us get ourselves out of the way!

Wine is cultivated behind closed doors. Want to receive the best wine within your wineskin?

Go set yourself apart! Go into your most private room for it is there where you will find the best wine. Don’t let us find ourselves to be old or even empty wineskins...

Meditate on this. ⓚ

What is pouring out of us?

Acts 2 v 17 – “And it shall come to pass in the last days, God declares, that I will pour out of My Spirit upon all mankind, and your sons and daughter shall prophesy and your men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream.”

Why did the wedding guests at Canaan say to Jesus, the wine poured last was the best?

(John 2 v 10). Now more than ever, we live in a time where God wants to give His best.

Divine secrets, power and gifts. The wine at the wedding was super-naturally provided by Jesus. Unless you have positioned yourself within your own heart to receive fresh anointing, revelation and direction from God, you’ll stand the change of losing this most valuable treasure. You’d be like an old wineskin that has burst.

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Sp • BOOK REPORT

CHRIST THE HEALER &

Shaan Wocker (Report)

This report concerns an individual I know who was healed by the Lord Jesus Christ. There are three main points, taken from “Christ the Healer” by F.F. Bosworth, that form the outline of the text; these three points teach us how it was possible for this individual to receive healing from the Lord.

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he individual was my brother in the Lord’s daughter. She had stepped in something the previous day that had caused her to fall ill and was told to stay at home with Ma; she refused and ended up coming to church that Sunday morning. Her desire to be in the house of the Lord lead to her healing after the elders and leaders in the church prayed and asked God to heal her.

Furthermore it was her faith in God, and the body of Christ moving according to the Word of God that produced the healing.

WE ALSO KNOW THAT “FROM THE OVERFLOW OF THE HEART THE MOUTH SPEAKS” “keep them in the midst of thine heart”. Luke 8:11 says that Jesus said “The seed is the word of God”. If this seed is in your heart it will grow and produce much fruit. We also know that “from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks”.

This little girl was in church listening to the word, looking at the scriptures of truth being preached and filling her heart with it. As she remained faithful to the word, God remained faithful to His word.

Proverbs 4:20-22 “Attend to my Words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart.

For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh” Firstly we must have an attentive ear, as the teacher says “incline thine ear unto my sayings”. This means we ought to hear the word preached and taught. Paul tells us in Romans 10:17 that “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God”.

Secondly we must have a steadfast look toward the Word of God, “let them not depart from thine eyes”. David said in Psalm 119:18 “Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law”.

Thirdly we must have the enshrining heart that helps us to take the words of God and

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Jeremiah 1:12 “I am watching over my Word to perform it” In conclusion we can now see that having an attentive ear, steadfast look and an enshrining heart toward the Word of God will lead to “life” and “health to all [our] flesh”. ⓚ

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Sp • POETRY

WHO IS GOD TO ME? &+D

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Tamrin Calvert

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My Guide, my Teacher: Through His Word He tells me what to do and why I should do it. He doesn’t just reveal Himself to me but He also reveals my identity.

He tells me who I am in Him. He shows me the path of righteousness (Psalm 23:3); He warns me about the dangers and I listen for my benefit. He allows me to understand Him and real life by speaking in parables, giving me a revelation of His teaching and at the same time allowing me to figure it out ‘on my own’. I sit in His class, be it alone or with the rest, and He teaches me so much. Then He gives me homework. I only ever pass His tests when I apply what He has taught me. I’m aiming for that 100%. Just saying.

ha. There are times when I ask and He just refuses to give it, but I remain content because He makes me understand that it’s possibly not a good thing to ask for.

He’s my Poet, my Romantic: He says the most beautiful things to me. He tells me how fearfully and wonderfully I’m made. He tells me that I’m the radiance of His glory. He tells me that I’m His best creation and that He will always be by my side. He always reminds me about how much He loves me and that as long as He’s in my life no harm will touch me. He’s so protective. He died just so that He could be with me forever. He gave me His Spirit so that I may always operate in love, authority and power and so that I would remain sane. He said that He will never leave me and I believe Him. When I’m faithless He remains faithful. He loves me unconditionally despite my flaws in life. He said that before I could make my decision He already chose me to be His holy one.

He gave me purpose.

He gave me a future hope and said that it will never be cut off (Proverbs 23:18). He said I’m His love letter, the epistle of Christ, and it’s true. He writes on my heart all the time. He disciplines me because He loves me (Hebrews 12:6, Revelation 3:19…). He says that if I follow any other God He’ll be so jealous. So I stay because I love Him, and just as He wants me to be happy I want to please Him too.

He’s my Healer: He is excellent in healing and restoring my withered soul. He is my remedy, my doctor, my surgeon, my bed that I recover in, my food I eat to strengthen my immune system, my nebuliser when the air fails to open up my lungs…He’s my everything. He diagnosed me and gave me medication that cured everything (Proverbs 3:8, Exodus 15:26…). The instruction was to declare healing over my infirmities and believe in the finished work of Jesus Christ. All I need to do is thank God for my deliverance. He’s just always available and able.

He’s my Provider: And because I know that every good and perfect thing comes from Him (James 1:7) I always find myself asking him for things, ha-

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He’s my Redeemer, my Saviour: He forgives me and remembers my sins no more so that I don’t have to walk around with a guilty conscience and feel condemned all the time (Hebrews 8:12).

Isn’t that amazing? He killed off all iniquities that stained my white garment and called me His righteousness through His Son; I’m good and acceptable to Him. He suffered for me so that I don’t have to endure pain. He left heaven for me. Not to force me to be with Him, but to show me what I’ll be missing if I don’t accept Him. Boy am I glad He did that.

He saved my whole life and I’m forever indebted to Him. He’s my eyes and my ears, My laughter and my tears.

He’s my bow and my arrow, He’s my bulletproof vest.

I know that doesn’t rhyme But I’m doing my best.

He’s my anchor in the storm He keeps me stable and warm.

He’s my medulla oblongata; He takes care of things I cannot control He feeds my spirit and fills my soul He completes me, He makes me whole.

He’s the heat that causes my veins to pop up at the surface of my skin.

And He’s the cool breeze that sends it back in.

He’s the beauty around me, And my eyes to help me see it.

He’s the sweet music that plays, And my ears to help me hear it.

He’s the voice inside my head telling me I can do all things through Him And my cardiac muscle that believes from within.

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HE LEFT HEAVEN FOR ME. NOT TO FORCE ME TO BE WITH HIM, BUT TO SHOW ME WHAT I’LL BE MISSING IF I DON’T ACCEPT HIM He’s the fresh water that quenches my thirst, He gives me the best always, forget about the worst.

He’s the ray of sunshine illuminating through my window, In my life He’s above always, and never below.

Just as He’s been around forever, He reigns forever, It might take me forever To describe who He is to me.

So that’s exactly what I’ll do.

I’ll go on living and proclaiming His Word for the rest of my life Because God is His Word And He is my endless love.

This is God to me. ⓚ

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P rovider

fresh water Healer

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Sp • ART & MINISTRY

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M

y "Creative Art" is an outflow of the creative ideas of my mind and heart, carrying the message of "I can do all things through Christ Jesus my Lord, Master, Saviour and King! “We Were Born To Serve” Let the Encouragement Flow as you serve people and become a giver. When you see someone who is struggling, a co-worker who is discouraged, a friend who is not up to par, how do you respond?

Our words can be what keep a person going; our compliments can put a spring back into their steps. Now more than ever, we need to automatically let the encouragement flow. We need to tell others how much we love them; KRÉHON

Marius Visagie

how we value them, and tell them that they are talented and creative. Always remember, with your words you carry life-giving water. You carry hope, healing, encouragement and new beginnings, and you can pour it out everywhere you go.

Today, choose to speak encouragement. Choose to speak victory and faith. Instead of telling people what they’re doing wrong, instead of pointing out all their faults, find what they are doing right. Focus on the good. There are already enough critical, judgmental people in the world. Let’s be people who lift up others and restore them. Let’s be the light in this sometimes dark world" !6 6

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rock-art

MISSION ON WHEELS Mission on Wheels “Is here to be light, bringing out the God-colours in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand - shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven” - Matthew 5:14-1

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Contact Marius Visagie on 081 333 5939 or visit the Mission On Wheels and RockArt groups on Facebook.

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Sp • SONG

You Say Lauren Daigle Songwriters: Paul Mabury / Lauren Daigle / Jason Ingram © Capitol Christian Music Group

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?

Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know (ooh oh)

And You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say of me (I) Oh, I believe Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory, (ooh oh)

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say of me (I) I believe

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak You say I am held when I am falling short When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours And I believe (I), oh I believe (I) What You say of me (I) I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, (ooh oh)

Oh I believe (I), yes I believe (I) What You say of me (I) Oh I believe (oh)

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing You say I am strong when I think I am weak KRÉHON

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IMAGES SOURCED FROM: AMAZON.COM / TICKETFLY / NEVILLE D / TORI KELLY

Show Your Support FOR A MAKE ROOM AFRICA TOUR 2019!

Make room on your desktop for jonathanmcreynolds.com/africa TO SHOW SOME LOVE AND INDICATE THAT YOU WOULD BUY A TICKET! :)

SONGS TO LIVE BY taste and see the goodness of heaven

THE ELEMENTS TOBYMAC

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HIDING PLACE TORI KELLY

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BURN THE SHIPS FOR KING & COUNTRY ISSUE 3 / 2018

Sp • CAMPAIGN

Wear Your Verse (WYV) is a Gospel initiative established by a group of young people who are faithful witnesses of Christ and personally involved in making disciples to reach the lost and perform good works for the glory of God. WYV exists to further this mission by establishing a teaching ministry for young adults by creating a platform for sound Biblical teachers to proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ through teaching and careful handling of the Word of God.

understanding of His precepts and rejoice in them.

We pray for an outpouring of devotion for the glory of God. We desire that they may strive to present their bodies as living sacrifices, holy and acceptable to God. To be proud and unashamed is the reason our mission is rooted in Romans 1:16.

WYV understands that the fruition of any vision takes time. So in order to shape, make noise and promote this campaign WYV has stated off with the printing of scripture. The tshirt is not used to accumulate funds (no added costs - only suppliers cost). The t-shirt is only produced / used for promotional purposes. WYV rely heavily on the support of sponsors and prayers of the saints.

Please support this cause through prayer and in any other form which is beneficial to the cause of Christ for the glory of God. ⓚ

The WYV campaign is aimed at developing a ministry to teach young adults from all over South Africa and to bring them under one roof uniting them in worship and in prayer exalting the name of the Lord. We desire that God may transform these young lives for his glory and bring healing symphony of hope, that they may view God as sovereign and glorious hence the inclusion of Soli Deo Gloria on the logo. We desire that they may have a sound

Contact Magasela Says at 061 629 6264 or via wearyourverse@gmail.com or Facebook: Wear Your Verse + Instagram @wearyourverse

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FINANCE

Fi

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Fi • GROWTH

JOURNEY TO PROFESSIONAL MATURITY LESSONS FROM DUMISANI NCUKANA’S EXPERIENCES

& Sibahle Khuzwayo

A

s children, we grow up dreaming of the awesome lives we’ll lead when we get older. Every second we’re fantasising about how we’ll have high powered careers, financial success and fabulous traveling experiences. The beautiful thing about dreaming as a child is that you believe you’re capable.. of achieving that goal to become a doctor, teacher, social worker, model, musician or a presidential candidate. We invest our time and energy simulating these dreams when we engage with other children and we write these “when I grow up” essays.

The most amazing thing is having someone who believes in your dream as much as you do and encourages you to dream beyond your

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current circumstances. Sometimes there are people who try to dissuade your dreaming because they think that they are saving you a world of heartache.

Regardless of who is in your corner or on the opposing end, it doesn't change the fact that there will come a time when you have to decide what to do with the hand that life has dealt you. Like a child often learns how to crawl before they walk and to scribble before they write, every budding professional has things he will have to learn that will set him up to be successful in his professional career.

Understanding that every journey has a different progression path, we sought to engage with people who have started from the bottom and worked their way up the corporate ladder.

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He shares his journey with us and we drew some important life lessons that we think many young professionals could relate to.

want them to. When things don’t pan out as we dream we get discouraged because it feels like the world is conspiring against us.

The question you probably have in the back of your mind is “How did Dumisani manage to rise above being a runner to senior management?”

Like any young man, Dumisani wanted to pursue his tertiary education after finishing high school, however couldn’t afford the tuition. To find means to save money and attend tertiary, he got a job as a runner at Capitec Bank. He worked full-time and studied part-time, juggling his budding career with his studies. He was realistic about his circumstances and he chose to start somewhere, in order to build the future he envisioned for himself. Often as young people we tend to think that things will happen as we

The lesson that we often forget to learn is that in order to get where you want to go, you’ve got to start where you are. Your current situation doesn’t determine where you will end up in the future, if you’re committed to your dream. The dream could change or mature, the important part is that there must be a vision so you know whether you’re heading in the right direction or not. Dumisani knew that he didn’t want to be a runner all his life. He had big dreams. He was going to be a big shot lawyer. The dream changed when he realised that he loved working with people and he found himself studying for his bachelor’s degree in Human Resources.

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JOURNEY TO PROFESSIONAL MATURITY As a young adult, you will find that the path you desire might not be the right one for you, it is important to recognise when something is not for you and find what is. You’ll need to refocus your energy into the new dream that makes it easier to wake up in the morning and face the new day head on.

predicament to do some soul searching and if the values are irreconcilable, that you move on.

Planning is essential in your life because this will help you to find out if you’re on the right track and if you’re not, how to reassess to ensure you get back on the right journey.

Dumisani believes planning for the short-term and the long-term is crucial. His progression from becoming a runner to Head of Operations Business Support Unit was no accident. It took hard work and dedication to ensure that his vision didn’t stay a dream but was a goal that was measurable. He studied further, attended life coaching sessions and cultivated his learning spirit. At the centre of his journey has always been to equip himself to understand what the problem that needs to be solved and how best he could solve the problem. This does not happen in a vacuum, you have to be able to be still and listen. You must be able to engage constructively with others who are trying to understand the problem alongside with you.

You must be willing to admit that you do not know but take on the responsibility to find out in order to empower yourself and those around you. As you embark on this journey, you will get things wrong but it is important that you be concerned about the issue at hand more than your ego. Dumisani’s advice to all young professionals is to continuously self-reflect throughout your professional journey and consciously be introspective regarding the part you play within your organisation.

This is not to say that you should be fickle and change your mind every five minutes. You cannot be the individual who has no focus or vision as you pursue your passion. Dumisani slowly worked his way through the ranks until he became the Business Manager of Operations at Capitec. He was dedicated to his professional growth and everything he did was geared towards helping him achieve his goal. He attributes this to his meticulous planning, finding an incredible mentor, continuous investment in his self-development and being dedicated to adding value wherever he goes.

While you’re studying and eyeing your potential employer, you search for an organisation that you feel will invest in your career growth. The criteria we use to measure this potential investment can either be based on monetary terms or identifying with the organisation’s values. Dumisani believes that young professionals might struggle in some organisations because your personal values clash with the organisation’s values. His advice to anyone who finds themselves in this

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Focus on building your brand, because that is what you are… a unique brand There is no doubt that when you’re starting out in your career, you will need guidance to structure your career. Dumisani was fortunate to have found a mentor who was invested in his career, one who challenged him to think beyond his current circumstances and motivated him. It is not easy to find a mentor and often the people that you would want to mentor you, have hectic schedules. This was the case with Dumisani but his mentor found him as a result of his passion while fulfilling his duties. Your attitude, dedication and character is important. These three elements determine your altitude and your aptitude in many situations. In times of strife and hurdles, remember that tough times are fleeting and character building. Focus on how you show up because that contributes to how a situation unravels. Respect people and what it is they have to offer. Never belittle someone’s contribution, no matter how small.

innovative in their thinking. Young adults who had limited opportunities growing and under “authoritarian” homes up tend to be more shy and are reluctant to question traditions.

Dumisani’s advice to both camps of individuals is to probe into why traditions exist and always seek to bring efficiency within their organisations. For those shy, he encourages you to build your confidence and learn how to speak up. For those whose confidence is not fragile, he urges them to be constructive in their engagement and patient with those who are different. Dumisani advises young professionals to remain humble through their triumphs.

You don’t need to boast about how good you are because people will know. Before you ask yourself how people will know about you if you don’t let them know, remember this: no one advertises a Rolex, Maserati, Rolls-Royce and Krispy Kreme yet these companies are still in business today. Why? Experience counts for something, what is it that your bring to the table that no one else does? The quality of your work will spread the news about your dedication to your craft. Never stop learning.

This will position you as a thought leader in your role. You’re not an island. Build relationships that are based on trust and educate where you can. People will speak highly of you because of your attitude and the quality of your work.

Dumisani acknowledges that the corporate landscape is uneven and that the privilege, in terms of exposure, contributes to the level of comfort or discomfort that young professionals experience within the workplace. He believes that your background can influence how you conduct yourself within the workplace. Often young adults who grew up with the privilege of exposure to great schools, extra-curricula activities and liberal parenting homes tend to be more confident. These individuals are not afraid to question traditions and can be KRÉHON

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your attitude, dedication and character is important JOURNEY TO PROFESSIONAL MATURITY While talking to Dumisani, it is clear that he is at peace with the decisions he has made regarding his career. Having met him and seen how he conducts himself in the presence of those he leads, you glean some lessons from every interaction.

Dumisani has a quiet confidence and during tough situations, you would want him in your corner. He has the ability to make you feel at ease and never like a “subordinate”. Whether you aspire to become a manager or an influential individual within the workplace, you must know what your strengths and weaknesses are. That helps build your confidence and influences how you conduct yourself

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within the workplace. Dumisani encourages people to be forward thinking, be cognisant of your reality and how you can foster change in a positive manner.

He does not achieve this through his words but rather through his actions. One day, when you’re a leader, you will wish that your actions reflect your values and your intention to contribute to moving your organisation forward. You want to be known as a competent, compassionate and inspirational individual. Your work will speak volumes on your behalf and the rest will follow. Focus on building your brand because that is what you are… a unique brand. ⓚ

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READ MORE ABOUT DUMISANI NCUKANA’S STORY IN ISSUE 2

Dumi acknowledges that corporate South Africa still has a long way to go. Diversity within the workplace is one of the biggest challenges we face as a nation.

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