LIVING LA VIDA LOCKDOWN / 10 RULES

LIVING LOCKDOWN La Vida

BY KAY-DEE MASHILE

Don’t eat all the apples, the Doctors are already away! Listen! Do you know how much food you can consume in just one day of sitting at home?! Now, consider that there is you multiplied by the number of people in the house with you. We all need to be considerate in our eating patterns. Especially since you’ve spent your retirement on wiping out the toilet paper isle. It will get ugly too quickly if everyone keeps on “living life as normal” when life clearly isn’t normal. Can I also just say that life must continue after the 21 days? Don’t sell your house Aunty, Jesus has not sent a “Save the Date” for His return yet. Hunger will still be there when The Rona is a goner!

Close your mouth when you chew… While we’re all doing our best to survive this global disaster, I have but one humble plea. Or rather an announcement. Yes, here is:

Kay-Dee’s Public Service Announcement: There is absolutely nothing to gain from doing what you know annoys the people around you.

Okay, that’s rude. Let’s try a more Christian approach… Please try to be a decent person. Flush the toilet (shhh, don’t tell the other Capetonians, let’s all pretend together). Okay, something more environmentally friendly, clean the bathroom after taking a bath/shower (we’ll get to the cleaning part later though, this is one is near and dear to my heart). Let us just try to be decent people in these trying times. We cannot also be trying each other on top of everything that’s happening. So, just a reminder, please close your mouth when you chew…

Take a vacation from your feelings catching ministry Listen! Stop catching feelings, there are germs going around. You is gon get siek! No like, seriously. Being at home comes with too many reasons for you to get deep into your feels, don’t! If you don’t want these 21 days to feel like a lifetime, don’t allow everything to get to you. If you are easily offended by nature, let this be a bootcamp to train you on the art of not catching feelings. But how do you even begin to not get mad, Kuz? I’m glad you asked, just remember that everything is not about you. Not even what people say about you is about you. If you really cannot can, walk away. It is more important to be kind than it is to be right.

Live at peace with all people, as far as it is up to you. You know what neh, you can be chewing with your mouth closed, cleaning up after yourself (hint hint) and just trying your best not to finally break the last nerve your Mom has been warning about all these years. You could legit be like Elijah chilling at the brook after announcing the flood (read the whole Bible, you’ll find it) you know… socially distancing and all. Trying your best not to catch feelings. And theeeeeeen, uit die blou van onse hemel, someone comes and TRICE you (bona, this is beyond trying). You know what Sis? Bro? Do like Jesus said, dust your feet and walk as many meters away as your home permits you. Choose peace. For as long as it is up to you. Let it slide like water off of a duck Kuz. Nothing is worthy enough to disturb your peace!

Find a reason to laugh The seasoned people will find these lyrics familiar, “if you laugh about it, it’s not worth a fight!” I’ll let you “Shazam” them in your memory for a minute (Lol). Anyway, Steve Harvey says in order to ensure that you laugh every day, you must learn to laugh at the things that aren’t that funny. Loosen up a little. Sit with your family and talk about nothing in particular. Watch something you find funny. Draw in as many good vibes as you can. Enjoy this time of rest. If you really can’t find anything to laugh at, then come back and re-read this piece and just laugh for no reason. Lol!

Take every opportunity to be by yourself (for those of us who recharge in solitude). When you do find time (and space) to sit in solitude, reflect on the things that do offend you and do a self-introspection. Why did you find that offensive? Let this time be an opportunity to grow in self-awareness.

And, for some of us, we really just need a moment every now and then because social interaction just costs us way too much energy. If that is you, don’t wait until you are moody to refill your social bundles. Tell your family that you’re going to bed early and just soak up in some worship music before you sleep. Or, if our family is user friendly, be honest with them that you need some time alone… for the married people, use chores like washing dishes or cleaning to spend time by yourself. Grab your earphones and escape to your filling station. If you are kind to yourself, you will have a lot more kindness to give to others.

STEVE HARVEY SAYS IN ORDER TO ENSURE THAT YOU LAUGH EVERY DAY, YOU MUST LEARN TO LAUGH AT THE THINGS THAT AREN’T THAT FUNNY.

Practice kindness and gratitude. Speaking of kindness, please say please and thank you. Thank you. You know? Basic manners! These can go a long way. If you cannot cook, help clear the table and wash the dishes. Go an extra mile and offer to clean your parents’ room. It is the little things that make these 21 days a bit more bearable. However, don’t do anything for recognition or thank yous. What you may deem as going an extra mile may be basic manners to others. But you can best believe that each little act of kindness will go a very long way. 21 days long!

Be resourceful. Make things happen! Things will be great for the first week when you’ve just spent all your money on masks and hand sanitiser. By Week 2, the cupboard is halfway empty, every time a person eats, the breadwinner starts to think maybe the virus wasn’t bad after all. And then suddenly, in week 3, we should all consider fasting!

No Ma’am, the virus is THAT bad but Jesus has it all under control. All you have to do, Sir, is control your meal plan. Perhaps lessen the number of dishes you serve with each meal. Which of the ingredients in your fridge are most likely to spoil? Cook those first. And if it’s a real stretch? Be creative with how you structure your meals. Pasta and mince can be made in many different ways to avoid food boredom. Consider drawing inspiration from YouTube instead of binge watching the news. You can use a break from that sometimes.

Clean up after yourself Yhu, yhu, yhu! I sommer get mad thinking about cleaning up after people! Maybe I should read number 3 again (lol) but for real, you guys, please clean up after yourself. Especially if there’s 3 or more people in the house. You cannot expect one person to do all the cleaning. Take a broom and sweep away the bread crumbs after making yourself a sandwich (although this is only a week 1 struggle hahaha) and tidy up (and disinfect) the counters. Put the milk back in the fridge. And for CRYING OUT LOUD (takes a deep breathe) DO � NOT � DRINK

� ANYTHING � DIRECTLY �

FROM � THE � CONTAINER! (sigh) Remember that it is mainly through bad hygiene that the virus is spread between people. In any case you should always be a decent person.

Start and end each day with a moment of reflection Okay, Selah… let’ calm down. Now that you don’t have a train to catch or traffic to bypass, take a moment before leaving your bed each morning to reflect. Think of all your blessings, think of what you are happy about in your life. Even if you only find one thing that day, think about it and be grateful for it. Keep that thought in your mind all day and draw from that place of gratitude whenever you feel the urge to complain.

When you get to bed in the evening, think about your day and meditate on the things you’re grateful for. Some people ran out of food, yet you have food for tomorrow. Someone just found out that they’ve tested positive, you and your family are healthy. Bring to mind at least 5 things each night before you sleep and thank God for them. In order to survive this lockdown, all the little things have to count!

CONSIDER DRAWING INSPIRATION FROM YOUTUBE INSTEAD OF BINGE WATCHING THE NEWS. YOU CAN USE A BREAK FROM THAT SOMETIMES.