QueenEagleDehFarrin

#SyracusePhDQueen

This title is probably a long time coming. Having relocated, temporarily, to the USA for school, I am now realizing that I haven't documented anything about that journey and what it meant for my transition. If you're a regular reader, you know by now that I identify as non-binary and am Jamaica's self-proclaimed #NonbinarySTEMQueen...the one and only. If not, I recommend Volumes 2 and 3 for tidbits on what that journey to self-actualization was like.

I pretty much uprooted my life to move to #Syracuse, New York to take up a #FulbrightScholarship to pursue a #PhD because I was at a point in my life where I needed a reset. Besides feeling stifled by the lack of freedom to express myself freely, I piqued at my job, there were no interesting opportunities for further studies locally, and I was near struggling financially...I needed a break! You must know I felt like this was the only way out in order to justify relocating at the peak of a pandemic that was just declared a few months prior, and no less in the country with the worst management.

Syracuse is a quaint post-industrial city in central New York that is rich with nature and culture and a history of resistance to slavery. I don't speak the language of architects, but the buildings give the city a very rustic feel, and it's super quiet on a regular day. It's as far from New York City in character as it is in distance, but I love that! There is enough to do for it to not be boring but doesn't suffer from the hustle and bustle of the southern New York metropolis. Plus, there is a very active queer community that's not all the way up their own asses...it's cute; far! but cute!

My time here has been one of the mixed emotions. Aside from the expected nostalgia for my friends, not the country, I've had to navigate culture shocks, acknowledgment of trauma, and of course adjusting to the cold. I've traveled to the states a few times before but never for more than two weeks, so I was never required to assimilate. I'm happy I made the choice to relocate though, I miss the girls back home, but dem have visa, and plane still a fly, we'll figure it out.

#QueenEagleDehFarrin

#SyracusePhDQueen

Since being here I've begun to live my truth openly and unabatedly. Being able to freely (and legally) use my chosen name to conduct business is a blessing I never knew I needed. That alone has boosted my confidence to do so much more and express myself even more freely in spaces that would've normally made me anxious. I mean if you follow my Instagram (@emme _ kristi) or my Twitter (@teralepido) you'll see the transition, lol.

I've also realized how oppressed I was back home. I remember dressing up and going to the store in all my queerness. While there, I overheard the Jamaican accent being spoken by two men and immediately retracted and became alert. That friends...is #trauma.

Don't worry though girls, I'm still queer as fuck! #BeingMeSince'89 #QueenEagle #KrisTI...I've been doing well on all fronts (giggles). I'm moving along nicely in my Ph.D. program with my research proposal drafted and preparing to go for candidacy exams so I can become a #PhDCandidate an bere tings. The GPA is healthy, the bills are being paid, the mental health a gwaan, mi physically healthy, still serving lewks and in my spare time, I do a little #Touring and #Whoring.

As we close out 2021, another issue of Queen Eagle and another pandemic year, I am grateful for all the decisions I made and I am trying hard to be kind(er) to myself. You should too. We don't ever know what the future will hold and where it will take us - plan as we might - but one thing's for certain, if you want something, you have to make space in your life for it!

Editor in Chief and Lead Contributor: Emme Kristi (@emme _ kristi) Cover Page: Photography by La Teka Lynch (@Torri _ tt) Photography Contributions: La Teka Lynch (@Torri _ tt) Queen Eagle Logo Design: Trevmedia (@trevmedia)

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kristi.loeqi@gmail.com emme.kristi@icloud.com

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