Spokane CDA Woman Issue 25

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January/February 2016 | Issue 25

Wintery Fashion

Layers of Adorableness

the

year of the

woman

Standing Together, Expecting More, Rising Strong

compassionate women's healthcare

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AWARDS CEREMONY

MARCH 222016 nd

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DAY IN THE LIFE: Music is not a hobby for Christy Lee Comrie, it's a career—filling the days in her life—and a family affair that began at the urging of her beloved father and continues with the support from her mother, Trish; brother, Austin; and boyfriend, country music artist Luke Yates (and sweet baby Greyson).

FEMINISTA: Recent events in the City of Spokane involving our former chief of police and his communications director have sparked many conversations in our community about sexual harassment and assault. The vast majority of women under 35—81 percent—has been sexually harassed at work, according to a recent poll. And it’s up to women to force a shift once and for all.

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CLOSING THE GAP: After a string of interesting life moments, Jennifer Evans and her children realize the importance of finding joy no matter which circumstances may arise, and that waiting for conditions to be perfect, is, in essence, simply waiting to live.

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TAKING ACTION IN TOUGH TIMES: When things go awry for someone you love, it can be hard to know just how to help. Don’t let fear of saying or doing the wrong thing prevent you from taking action. It’s important to remember that some gesture, whether big or small, is better than doing nothing at all.

on the

cover

Model: Demri

January/February 2016

contents

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Inside

Magda

Demri was born and raised in Spokane and is in school pursuing a career in pediatric occupational therapy, while working as a preschool teacher. As for her fashion sense, affordability--and her mood--are the determining factors.

Photography: Michele

Martin

Find Spokane CDA Woman magazine on Facebook at www.facebook.com/SpokaneCDAWoman

January_February 2016

5

Vol. 5 Issue 1

January/February 2016

EDITORIAL

Editor | Stephanie Regalado

Nurture Body, Mind & Spirit through Healing Arts

editor@spokanecdawoman.com

ART DIRECTION | GRAPHICS Art Director/Lead Graphic Designer Kristi Somday | kristi@spokanecda.com Traffic Manager/Graphic Designer Monica Hoblin | ads@bozzimedia.com

CONTRIBUTORS

Kate Armstrong, Lori Eastep, Jennifer Evans, Sandra Gorman-Brown, Tiffany Harms, Dennis Held, Sherry Jones, Holly Lytle, Jennifer LaRue, Judith Spitzer

St. Joseph Family Center is an outpatient counseling, spirituality and healing arts center located near the U District.

SALES | MARKETING Business Development Emily Guevarra Bozzi | emily@spokanecda.com Vice President of Sales Cindy Guthrie | cindy@spokanecda.com

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Senior Account Manager Jeff Richardson | jrichardson@spokanecda.com Account Managers Erin Meenach | erin@bozzimedia.com Christine King | christine@bozzimedia.com

OPERATIONS Accounts Receivable denise@spokanecda.com

EVENTS Hot Summer Nights, Best of the City, B2B Jennifer Evans | j@allfortheencore.com Release Parties Erin Meenach | erin@bozzimedia.com

Publisher & CEO | Vincent Bozzi vince@spokanecda.com

Co-Publisher/Co-Founder | Emily Guevarra Bozzi emily@spokanecda.com

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104 S Freya | Ste 209 | Spokane WA 99202-4866 Phone: 509.533.5350 | Fax: 509.535.3542 All contents Š 2016. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without the written consent of the publisher. Neither Bozzi Media nor Spokane CDA Woman assumes responsibility for errors in content, photos or advertisements.

Editor's letter

The Beauty of Being Fashionably Late

T

he kids and I shared our usual school commute banter as I secretly hoped there wouldn’t be any glitches: no flat tires or car crashes. I don’t usually practice catastrophizing, but this morning was different. I had burned the midnight oil and continued on “into the next day” working into the wee hours of the morning and had overslept my alarm. We left the house late, but breakfast had been accomplished and lunches were in their backpacks. Focus on the positives, I told myself as I examined my reflection in the review mirror. I hadn’t even brushed my hair, not even with my fingers. I glanced down at the far too tight “rejected by the middle schooler several years back” cross-design leggings I was wearing. Sure, they were fine to sleep in, tucked under the covers of my bed, but I obviously hadn’t taken into account the risk of rushing out the door into the wide open public air in them.

I was my best driver as I navigated the rushing vehicles, although I kept my foot firmly on the gas pedal: there was no way we could arrive late to my youngest’s school. I would have to walk her in and I was committed to staying in the car until I was safely back to my driveway, and even then, I would need to slyly head check for neighbors and dart into the house like a ninja after confirming the coast was clear.

Like magic, we made it to school on time. London was just as relieved as I was. I had told her there was no way I could be seen in public, so she would have to venture in without me if we were late. “It’s not fair to me, Mom,” she said. “That you overslept and didn’t brush your hair. Don’t make me go to the office alone, please. I’ve seen other moms in their pajamas and slippers and they go in.”

Yeah, about those moms, I thought. I’ve seen them, too. I couldn’t imagine going into public in loungewear or, worse yet, clothes that were obviously pajamas. And slippers. At least I had boots on. Although there isn’t a fashionista out there who would recommend coupling western-flair grey boots with the juvenile-print leggings I was wearing. The boots had been by the front door though, and I had been in a panic of a hurry. I had also managed to throw on a scarf to combat the chilly air.

A scarf fancifies any outfit. And, if draped appropriately, covers up the fact that you aren’t wearing a bra. I looked down to make sure my scarf was draped appropriately. Yes, indeed it was. Although I wouldn’t normally combine brown and tan leopard print with black and white cross print.

London rushed from the car as my customary “I love you! Make today amazing!” sentiment chased after her. At least I didn’t end up being one of the moms who had to leave their car in questionable garb for the whole world of other parents to see. I turned up the tunes as I drove back home and sighed as the anxiety left my body. Still a clean record of awesomeness, I smirked.

I turned the corner and heard something slide across the backseat. As I glanced over my shoulder, a game changer caught my eyes: London had forgotten her violin, and strings class was the first class of the day.

“Well, that’s just too bad,” I thought. “She’ll just have to suffer the consequences.”

I could see the disappointing realization wash over her face. I could see her uncomfortably and self-consciously sitting among the other students, eyes flickering about in shame. She was such a responsible kid, and my morning chaos had thrown her off. But I had to put my heart strings aside, because I was not in a position to rectify the situation. It was one day out of her life. And, really, only about an hour of discomfort.

But I couldn’t get those sweet eyes of hers looking sad and ashamed out of my line of vision, no matter how I blinked, no matter how loud I turned up the music, no matter how much I told myself to get on with my day. I cursed the world and turned back toward the school. “This is going to burn,” I whispered. “Let it burn, dammit.”

I pulled the violin from the back seat, stood up tall, adjusted my scarf “just so” and walked into the school with my head held high as though I were dressed to the nines and ready to walk out on stage. I heard the strings class off to the right as I entered the school. As I peeked around the corner, hoping to catch London’s eye, I spotted her back: she was the only one sitting motionless in a sea of swaying violin players. I swallowed the lump building in my throat, assuming what was swirling through her mind, and building courage to walk into the class to get her attention.

As I took my first step, the boy sitting next to her made eye contact with me and gave London a little nudge, pointing back toward me. She sprang out of her seat, eyes lighting up. “Thank you so much, Mama Bear,” she said grabbing the instrument and giving me a swift side hug. “I love you so much!”

I teared up as I walked back to the car. I thought of my sweet girl. Of how humbling being a mom continues to force me to be. I thought of all the other mamas, doing the best they can at any given moment, showing up for their kiddos in ways they never would have guessed they would be able to do before becoming a parent. That’s what women do, whether or not they are mothers: we push through fear and discomfort, we make magic happen for those around us, and we carry on with our day.

Cheers to Womanhood (and all those jammy-clad mamas!),

Stephane Regalado stephanie@spokanecda.com

January_February 2016

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Up Front

Spokane Women | Art | Media

S

pokane Women, Art, Media (WAM) is a community of women working in art and media, providing a medium to offer inspiration and post opportunities.

Spokane WAM meets twice a year to visit, socialize, indulge in delicious food and beverages, and to share projects. The group consists of filmmakers, photographers, designers, writers, techs, stylists, performers and others in the creative fields.

They welcome all female creative professionals who have lived or worked in the region, and are interested in strengthening the creative side of life and resulting community.

Spokane WAM is accepting works of art for juried display, installation, and screening at their 2016 expo on January 28 at The Richmond Gallery and The Bartlett on 228 West Sprague. Submit up to three images of work, works in progress, or installation proposals by emailing SpokaneWAM@ gmail.com by January 17.

January_February 2016

9

Up Front TAKING RISKS has always been a rush for Bonnie Larson Melcher. In her more mature years, though, she has learned to make them calculated, but risky all the same. This has been particularly true in her career path. She has been in advertising and marketing for many years; dabbled in construction as a laborer; worked as an EMT; and even owned a sandwich shop once upon a time.

"I have been established in my current career for almost 10 years now.

I am confident in my abilities and I travel all over the U.S. What better time is there to start something new?"

Bonnilicious Bling started “by accident,” she says. “I was in Las Vegas, attending a market for my current job when I noticed a woman brushing her teeth in the restroom. She had the most beautiful necklace.” Bonnie admired the necklace so much, the woman took it off and handed it to her. The woman explained that she was the designer and encouraged Bonnie to look at her other pieces. “Two months later, I had a beautiful website and a houseful of high-end costume jewelry,” Bonnie has always felt that a mood should reflect the jewelry, whether it be bold or subtle. “Bold has always been my style; I like to make a statement; or more like a “shout.” Bling is bold, feminine and beautiful, what all women secretly want whether it be minimal or over the top,” she says.

Bonnie packages her pieces beautifully, and tries to ship the same or next day. Customer service is a high priority. “My goal is to build an online presence with a strong brand; affordable, high-end costume jewelry and handbags. Jewelry every woman feels she needs, not just desires.” BonniliciousBling.com

! a t s i n i Fem e xpose th E o t e k It’s Tim " at Wor t e r c e S "Dirty

By Sherry Jones

Have you ever been sexually harassed on the job? Unfortunately, your answer is probably “yes.”

Did you report the incident? Almost certainly, you did not.

Nearly every woman I know has experienced the degrading, even traumatic experience of workplace sexual harassment. Just ask any of your friends, and the stories begin: The manager who put his arm around her shoulders while going over an invoice, letting his hand casually drop onto her breast. The co-worker who, within earshot, described her outfit in detail on the telephone. The boss who made a suggestive comment. >>

Out With the Stock Photos,

In With Your Own

T

anya Goodall Smith graduated with a degree in graphic design from The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in 2004. After a decade-long career as a graphic designer and art director, Tanya walked away from it all to pursue her lifelong love of photography by opening WorkStory Corporate Photography.

In addition to her past work as a designer for brands like HP, GUESS and Universal Studios Hollywood, Tanya is a talented writer and educator at slrlounge.com and layersmagazine.com, the official magazine for Adobe software. She has spent the last 15 years perfecting her digital photography skills and style through workshops, college courses and hours of experience.

She’s coming back to her creative agency roots, offering what she wished she had at her disposal for clients as an alternative to generic stock photography.

WorkStory Corporate Photography works exclusively with creative agencies and marketing firms to provide custom photography for businesses so they never have to use a cheesy, boring, cliché stock photo again. Their photo sessions are on location, and capture candid moments throughout a day (or days) in the life of local businesses. workstoryphotography.com

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woman | spokanecdawoman.com

>> The vast majority of women under 35—81 percent—has been sexually harassed at work, according to a recent poll. Forms of harassment include sexually explicit comments or jokes, unwanted touching, and lewd texts or emails. (And yes, men are sexually harassed, too—as many as 1 in 3, Psychology Today reports.)

Recent events in the City of Spokane involving our former chief of police and his communications director have sparked many conversations in our community about sexual harassment and assault. Predictably, some blame the victim, saying she lied in order to get a pay raise. If she were telling the truth, she’d have filed an official complaint, right?

But most sexual harassment and assault victims do not complain. In a survey last year by the Angus Reid Institute in Toronto, four of five respondents who were sexually harassed at work did not report the incidents to their employer— often because they felt ashamed.

You know this feeling, right? Is this my fault? Did I lead him on? Was I too nice?

While we congratulate ourselves about how far we’ve traveled on the road to gender equality, sexual harassment remains our dirty little secret.

Women who speak out often lose their jobs, or get blamed, shamed, scrutinized, and even sued.

A system that silences sexual harassment victims only protects the perpetrators, who are overwhelmingly male. Patriarchy wins, and those of us who dream of equality for ourselves and our daughters are the losers.

We need a revolution—one that starts with us. Women are the only ones who can change our culture that says sexual harassment is “no big deal,” and that stigmatizes women who complain. How do we do it? By telling our stories of sexual harassment and discrimination to one another, showing our sisters that they are not alone. By encouraging other women to speak out, and supporting those who do. By striking back at the victim-blamers, telling them that misogyny is not OK. Standing together, in solidarity, we must not only demand, but also provide, the safe work environment we all deserve.

Sherry Jones is a Spokane author and founding member of Spokane Area National Organization for Woman (NOW).

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January_February 2016

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EVERY JANUARY, my contribution to this magazine deals with New Year’s Health and Wellness Resolutions, or the new fitness trends projected for the upcoming year. For 2016, Spokane CDA Woman is allowing me to deviate for just a bit. This past fall, I kept hearing people talk about “living consciously,” “living purposefully,” “living intentionally” . . . and the more I heard, the more I was intrigued.

From what I understand, living an intentional life involves you carrying out each day with consciousness. When you’re living with intention, you do everything with a specific intent, which aligns with your core values.

This involves clarifying your dreams, setting defined intentions, and crafting a lifestyle that aligns with your desires on a daily basis. Part of reconnecting with a life you love involves choosing an existence that aligns with your vision and desires. And since I want to love life, I said “sign me up.”

Here are 7 suggestions if you would like to test the “intentional waters” in 2016: 1. Know your priorities

Make space for the things that truly add value to your life. If attending a weekly group fitness class adds value to your life, in the sense that it helps you maintain your health, then make it a priority, and don’t deviate from it. The act of carving out the time, but moreover cementing it in your calendar, is an example of making an intentional decision.

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6. Track your time

This is the hard part. If you’ve ever been on a diet, you’ve probably tracked your calories.

If you’re hip, you probably have a Fitbit that tracks your activities. But, we must start viewing our days, and the hours, minutes and seconds that are inside of them, like the precious commodities that they are. Adopt the repetitive motion of which lawyers make an art form and . . . track!

2. Don’t aim for productivity 24/7

Stop trying to fill every waking minute of your day with something productive. We have a tendency to feel lazy, even guilty, if we aren’t busy “doing.” Assign some time (and stick to it) every day for being still—use it for prayer, meditation, journaling, listening to music, whatever you’d like. Just make sure while you’re in that time, that your cell phone and text/message notifications are “off.”

3. Single task

Although women pride themselves on being good multi-taskers, it is a huge energy zapper and not very efficient. Charles Dickens once wrote, “He did each single thing as if he did nothing else.” This is a life lived fully in the moment, with a dedication to doing the best you can in anything you do—whether that’s a work project or making a sandwich.

4. Become a noticer

Don’t live life with blinders on, moving so quickly that you miss the life happening around you.

Too often we get caught up in our to-do lists, moving at the speed of light, that we also miss opportunities that are right in front of us. Try to incorporate this skill into your life in baby steps—next time you’re at a stoplight, instead of flipping through the radio stations or checking your phone, try turning to look at the car to the right and to the left of you, and then across the street, and then the pedestrians.

5. Plan your week

Plan a weekly meeting with just one attendee: you, where you assess what you accomplished from the past week, and plan for the next one. It’s important that you have a set time frame for tasks like going to the grocery store or getting something done for work. We tend to get distracted, so having a set time frame for each will help you stay focused.

Also, consider creating fulfilling routines. This may be walking in the morning, talking with your spouse at the dinner table with the television off, working out, reading, meditating, etc.

7. Define your vision

It’s really hard to live intentionally if you haven’t given any thought into what your mission, or vision, is. Write a mission statement.

Make a vision board. Set some goals. Get super specific on what the heck you want to do with this year.

“But, Kate,” you ask, “what is your vision for 2016? How are you going to live intentionally?”

I’m glad you asked. I’ve decided to commit myself to a subject matter that has always been near and dear to my heart. It is going to require a lot of planning, but I am interested to see what affect being hyper-focused on this project will have on other aspects of my life.

Starting January, I am committing myself to only buy products and services from womenowned businesses for the entire year. I am doing this for several reasons—to highlight some of the great women-owned businesses out there, to do my small part in helping to grow these businesses, and to show that anyone can do this, as long as you just “shift your shopping.”

My future articles for this magazine in 2016 will revolve around this “social experiment,” if you will, and I plan to share some of the great women-owned business “finds” I will discover along the way. I hope that you will consider making your own mission for living an intentional life and follow me on my journey, as well.

Kate Armstrong’s great grandmother was an entrepreneur during the 30s, a time when women rarely owned businesses. Kate’s heritage, plus her former career as a Corporate Diversity Manager, has led her to make 2016 the year she will live intentionally by supporting women business owners. Follow her on various social media platforms and her blog: @ IntentionalKate.

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Free Parking January_February 2016

13

A Day in the life

SINGER,

Christy Lee Comrie

photos courtesy of Austin Comrie

By Jennifer LaRue

As a writer,

I sometimes procrastinate, knowing that I work well under pressure. The holidays can get hectic which is a bit of a contradiction; they should be a time of rest and joy. I failed to find a subject for “A Day in the Life” and had to do a last minute dance. The name Christy Lee Comrie was given to me and so, without much knowledge of my subject, I braved the icy roads and headed out to her mother’s apartment in Colbert, grumbling at the distance I had to travel and hoping that her story would capture my attention. Upon arrival, I saddled up to the kitchen counter, pulled out two newly sharpened pencils, and began the conversation.

Christy is 25. Is she too young to have a story? I didn’t think so. Her younger brother, Austin, sat at the kitchen table and her mother, Trish, held Christy’s baby boy, Greyson Steele Yates. It is a family affair; Austin snaps photos and Trish acts like a manager. They are very close and a tear almost escaped its duct at the joy of a truly supportive family. Instead, I scrawled in my notebook.

Christy grew up in Southern California where she played basketball in high school and considered being a marine biologist but, nah (something she expressed a few times and I dubbed her “nah” girl), something bigger was in the cards. After graduating from high school, the family moved to the Spokane area where Christy’s grandmother was living and where the school system was more accommodating and sensitive to Austin’s high-functioning autism. They moved here on August 8, 2008. Christy threw out dates so quickly, I asked her if she had a slight case of autism

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and she laughed. “I’ve been asked that before but no, important dates just stand out to me.”

One date is actually tattooed onto her forearm but I’ll get to that in a second. Upon arriving in Spokane, Christy enrolled at Spokane Community College where she studied for a year and then, nah. She then got her cosmetology license and worked in a salon for a while and then, nah. Still waiting for a purpose, “nah girl” took it one day at a time.

The date she has on her arm is in Roman numerals–November 18, 2011. That is the day she went to Big Al’s Country Club, got on stage at the urging of her father, and sang a song "Gun Powder and Lead" with the Coyote Rose Band and she hasn’t looked back. Her father passed away June 6, 2012 and on November 27, 2012, Christy set off for Nashville with her father’s dog, Abby. “Abby was able to recognize when my father was going into a diabetic coma. She’s my best friend and a connection to my father,” Christy says.

She stayed in Nashville for a year, recording and performing regularly in music venues and on Broadway.

Christy moved back to Spokane on September 4, 2013 after returning to headline at a local festival and her mother said that it was time for her to come home. “I was living off of Pabst Blue Ribbon and crackers,” Christy says. “I had gained some weight and I never mourned my father’s death. My mom was right; it was time to come home.”

Saying “nah” to Nashville, Christy dove into her passion with the support of her family, filling her days with rehearsals, performances, and song writing sessions with a team of others. She met country music artist Luke Yates when they both opened for Keith Anderson (they will be doing it again on January 31) and baby Greyson was born on August 18. “I was performing up until two days of his birth,” Christy says, “and I went to rehearsal two days after. He goes to gigs and rehearsals with me, sporting ear protection. He hums along too.”

Music is not a hobby for Christy, it a career (filling the days in her life) and a family affair that began at the urging of her beloved father.

With my deadline looming, I forgot to ask her the advice that she would give others.

I’ll take liberties here and guess that she would suggest that others not be afraid to say “nah” and to seek out a life of awe with determination. Still young, her story can only get better.

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January_February 2016

15

Closing the gap

The Magic

in Everyday

Moments

By Jennifer Evans

Co visitme ne our expawly n storeded !

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woman | spokanecdawoman.com

I LIKE TO PROVIDE magical moments for my children: small moments, on ordinary days, where I break my own rules, say “yes” when they are expecting a “no,” or do something out of my norm. These bits of variety break life’s monotony and help bring us an extra dose of joy. At least, that is the goal.

We were running errands one afternoon and everyone was hungry. I pulled over to a popular Mexican restaurant and decided to treat them to an early dinner. We were instantly elated. Local Mexican restaurants tend to be “proud” of their food and I knew we’d be paying top dollar. The kids placed their orders and I could tell they were concerned about the prices. I told them not to worry. This was a “treat” and we should enjoy every moment of it without hesitation.

I’m a bit of a “foodie” and when my mushroom dish was delivered, I felt deflated. It looked as though they had poured a can of sliced mushrooms on the plate, added two spoonfuls of minced garlic from a jar and poured oil over the top. There was no way I would be eating this food. Cue up disappointment. My youngest daughter was two bites into her meal and decided she was no longer hungry. How could that be? Just moments before she was “starving.” Cue up frustration.

My son gazed out the window as he, too, was suddenly uninterested in his meal and pointed out several bullet holes in the glass. Which, naturally, inspired a conversation about driveby shootings. Cue up guilt over my choice of restaurants. My oldest daughter began pushing her food around her plate, inspecting it closely. Her sister realized what was going on and said, “Ew!” as my oldest pulled a long strand of hair from the middle of her burrito.

“It’s okay, I’ll just eat from the other end. It’s not a big deal,” she said. “No. You won’t!” I said.

I called the waiter over so I could point out the hair. He suggested the hair was my daughter’s because no one in the kitchen had long hair. He offered to take 50 percent off of her burrito to apologize. I asked for our check; we were ready to leave. While he drew up the check, my emotional shame storm continued.

I shared my frustration with the kids: “Do you realize how many hours of work I’m throwing away right now for a meal no one ate? What a waste of time and money.” By the time I paid the bill and we walked out, I was on the verge of tears.

This “magical moment” had not gone according to plan, ended up being a waste of hard earned money, and now everyone was upset: the opposite of what I had hoped to accomplish. Tearing up, I said, “This was supposed to be a treat!” My oldest said, “Oh, it was a “‘treat.’” We broke into laughter. One wise remark led to another and within minutes we were laughing so hard, we had tears in our eyes and I struggled to catch my breath. The overpriced, failed feast fiasco turned out to be a magical moment after all.

Not long after, the girls and I found ourselves in an awkward situation at an event with countless “surprises.” I looked at their faces and could see they were experiencing the same thoughts and feelings I was. We maintained eye contact until we all started to smile. There was instant comfort in our connection. I broke the silence and said out loud, “What a ‘treat’ this is.” We couldn’t help but laugh.

During Christmas Eve service at our church, our pastor recited a quote which I wrote down in my notes: “One test of authentic joy is it’s compatibility with pain.” He talked to us about finding joy in life no matter what the circumstances because if we wait for conditions to be perfect, we are simply waiting to live. As I processed this, my oldest pointed to my notes and leaned over to say, “This reminds me of the Mexican restaurant.” I couldn’t help but smile. We are indeed learning the art of finding joy in all circumstances and living life fully, versus waiting to live. I don’t know what life will bring us next, but I know that on any given day, we have enough magical moments to draw on to help us find a spot of joy in any of them.

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Finding

Health & Happiness

in 2016

By Mercedes Montoya, CPT Reliant LifeWorks Pharmacy and Wellness Clinic

L

ast week one of my older brothers came to me for advice about how to lose weight. He was fed up with the aches and pains that he blamed upon his extra weight and he was ready to make a change. My family is my top priority and as a personal trainer and nutrition guru they are some of my most important clients.

My siblings and I grew up playing outside, competing in sports and with each other at all other times.

Our parents fed us our veggies, packed our lunches and as runners they both set excellent examples of regular activity. However, as we finished college and graduated to full time desk jobs our lives became our own responsibility, as did our health.

Despite being older—and of course much wiser— my brother often asks my advice surrounding nutrition and exercise. We work on cooking whole foods, mix-

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ing up workouts and adding extra steps to his Fitbit whenever possible. I emphasize the importance of making changes that he can fit into his life as well as finding ways to include his family in his journey.

Losing weight is not an easy venture.

It is not just about calories in and calories out, but also staying hydrated, sleeping for recovery, limiting stress and having an optimistic mindset. This becomes overwhelming for many and when the weight does not fall off fast enough, we fill our minds with negative thoughts and self doubt. Knowing this can be a vicious cycle, the most important message I wanted my brother to remember was: be good to your body and to your mind.

As 2016 begins, this is exactly what I would tell anyone who asks me about food or fitness. Here is what I mean: Be patient: The weight you are trying to lose did not come on overnight, so it is not going to disappear instantly. Expect three months to really see changes in your body and if you do not think you can last that long with your current strategy, consider re-evaluating your plan.

Be forgiving: Forgive yourself for a less than ideal choice and give yourself credit for all the other healthy ones you did make.

Be proud: You are putting in the effort to make more educated decisions about your health, so kudos to you. Every day puts you one step closer to finding your healthiest self.

Remember that maintaining a healthy weight is a lifelong journey. It may take more time for the results of small habit changes to appear, but these are sustainable and your healthy transformation will still be moving forward by the end of the year. Celebrate each and every step that along the way and stay focused on where you are headed, not concerned with where you have been.

Happy New Year and Positive Vibes for 2016!

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Doing

What Comes

Naturally

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By Judith Spitzer

bout the only thing Tirza Wibel knew for sure about Spokane was that most every year in June she and her mother shopped at the annual Farm Chicks Antique Show.

Still, a little over two years ago, Tirza, with her husband and five children, moved from Silverton, Oregon, to the Spokane area, where her husband had been offered a position teaching and training athletes for Whitworth University.

One year later Tirza, who previously owned a small public relations firm in Oregon, launched her own small business called Winterwoods Tea Company, specializing in gourmet looseleaf tea blends using local, organic ingredients.

Today, Tirza is one of 10 million women across the country who are innovating, starting new businesses, creating jobs, and impacting the economy while creating social value.

To say the tea company has taken off is an understatement.

Tirza’s entry into the Northwest business community was her first booth at Taste of Coeur d’Alene in August 2014, and the response was positive-plus, she says.

“That first show we did, we sold out of tea and beat out all of our expectations,” she adds.

Since then the reception and sales of the company’s artisan tea blends have been astounding, she says.

Tirza says the first year was a whirlwind of creating seven flavors of tea, blending the tea at a commercial kitchen at the Greenbluff Grange, and schlepping her products to farmer’s markets like the one at Kendall Yards in Spokane.

Tirza added more markets as she went, including several wholesale accounts and several local hot spots like Atticus, Indaba Coffee, Brain Freeze Creamery and Main Market Co-op, among others.

“We began by sourcing our ingredients from small, sustainable farms and companies who support our values and we hand-mix all of our original tea blends in the heart of the Pacific Northwest and Spokane’s farm country, on beautiful Green Bluff,” she says.

Oh yes, and then there is the homeschooling of the kids ages, 13, 10, 5, 4, 3—two girls and three boys—which takes an enormous part of

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The Difference

180 S. Howard

509.468.2929 22

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the day. She says she and her husband share those duties and the family belongs to a home school co-op.

Funding Comes Quickly A Kickstarter campaign Tirza launched in August raised morre than $30,000, to pay for a new commercial kitchen and equipment needed to produce the teas.

The success of the campaign took everyone in her world by surprise.

Tirza reached her goal of $13,450 during the first two weeks of the online campaign. By the end of the campaign the donated funds totaled about $16,500 over the initial goal.

“Our sales are projected to more than quadruple this year and we’ve added a dozen wholesale accounts on top of selling at local farmer’s markets, art festivals and various events around town,” she adds.

She already has added eight more teas to the Wintergreen Tea menu.

Customers can now choose from 15 different blends of tea that come in resealable pouches.

Tirza says starting her company in Spokane also has given her a way to connect with a community where she didn’t know anyone.

“Being at farmer’s markets and art shows has made me feel like this is my home because I’m part of the community, and I’ve invested in meeting people and working with local businesses,” she says. “I love entrepreneurship and I want to encourage other moms to blend their passions with being a mom. It’s not one or the other.”

The Kickstarter campaign has connected

her with even more local people who are starting businesses, especially women business owners.

“I find I’m giving advice to other fledgling small business owners. I’ve met a lot of women business owners who are doing what I do at the markets, and it’s really neat networking with other women,” she says. “We support and encourage each other.”

Tirza says her success is partly due to her affliction—that of being a workaholic. That and divine providence. She says she prayed about owning a business in which she could involve her family and not feel isolated like she did when she ran her public relations firm in Oregon.

“I wanted something where I could teach my daughters about business and teach them these kinds of entrepreneurial skills so they could make their own money. And I feel like I was in the right place at the right time,” she says.

“In every aspect of the business I haven’t gotten too caught up in the details and I’ve let my faith guide me,” she adds. “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.”

Leaving a Legacy These days, Tirza is busy fulfilling Kickstarter reward backorders and says she’s excited about designing the commercial kitchen space in her home for her thriving business. The space is actually the basement of her home, which has a separate entrance and its own driveway.

She is moving into the 1,100 square feet of space this month.

“I am moving in and hopefully launch our

own website and start doing wholesale orders,” she says. “I’ve made lots of contacts and requests and I haven’t had time to pursue those things. We also plan to do the Seattle Gift Show next summer.”

She says the company will soon be expanding into health food stores throughout the region, and she is in negotiations with a couple of major grocers, and working with a natural foods broker.

“We anticipate expanding our retail gift accounts in 2016. We’ve been featured on KYLY Saturday Morning News, on AM 790 KJRB Business Talk Radio and we were featured in the Spokesman Review as well,” she reports.

Tirza will have help creating the company’s infrastructure via Gonzaga University’s New Venture Labs, which provides business consulting to chosen entrepreneurs. The Lab provided Tirza a student project manager, who typically has four to five students who work with new business owners.

Each project provides students with real world experience working with both start-ups and seasoned entrepreneurs, allowing students to learn business skills in an experiential manner.

Could life be any better?

Tirza says it will be. When the new kitchen is complete, she plans to rent space out to other entrepreneurs who need a commercial kitchen, and she’s looking forward to paying it forward to other entrepreneurs.

“We’re passionate about helping other small businesses in the Spokane area start up and thrive,” she says. “There is a lack of affordable commercial kitchens to rent in the Spokane area. We seek to create an incubator type of environment that will allow for collaboration, encouragement and mentorship for emerging businesses here in the Inland Northwest.”

January_February 2015

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Upp i n g

the

Adorable

Style

Factor

Photographed by: Michele Martin Photography Model: Demri Magda

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in

Winte r

We a t he r

Fa shion

:

Laye r

it

Up !

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S t a n d i n g To g e t h e r : Te e n s a n d C e l l P h o n e s : S o c k p a n t s & S u p e r H e r o e s

Family

I

By Tiffany Harms

n my last column, I wrote about the acts of violence being leveraged against abortion and women’s healthcare providers across the country. I penned it just weeks after the September firebombing of our Pullman health center.

It was clear to us that things were escalating. Others thought so too, including David S. Cohen, an anti-abortion terrorism expert I quoted in that piece.

“It’s scary to contemplate what might happen next,” the quote from Cohen read. In the context of what has occurred since then—a man going into a Planned Parenthood health center in Colorado Springs, holding staff and patients hostage and murdering three people—it’s chilling to read Cohen’s words again.

When horrific acts of violence such as this are expected, there is a problem. And since the shooting, it’s become clear that it’s not just Planned Parenthood that faces predictable attacks.

Hateful rhetoric and the violence it inspires targets many groups. It’s time to stand together.

Fear as a Tool

It’s scary to contemplate what might happen next

People respond to fear. Peer-reviewed research published December 2015 in Psychological Science points to how fear influences political affiliation, specifically in regard to perceived threats of terrorism.

“Our findings show that terrorism shifts public attitudes towards greater loyalty to the in-group, less concern with fairness, and greater prejudice against Muslims and immigrants, but it seems that this effect is stronger on those who are politically left-leaning than those who are right-leaning,” explain the study’s scientists.

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In short, creating terror can get you more votes, even from those who don’t typically agree with you.

This tactic isn’t new. While on trial for the horrific war crimes he perpetuated as a Nazi leader, Hermann Goering laid it out in blunt detail: “It’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”

This is routine. In his 2009 book, Tom Ridge, former Secretary of Homeland Security, revealed that on the eve of George W. Bush’s 2004 re-election, he was pushed to raise the national security terrorism alert without actual cause. The move was a political tactic, Ridge explained. He resigned because of it.

The Pattern

Stoking fear has become a pattern used against entire groups. Politicians have recently said that transgendered people are pedophiles, abortion providers are murderers, immigrants are rapists and drug lords, people of color are criminals, and Muslims and refugees are terrorists.

Following hateful rhetoric, countless acts of violence have been leveraged against these groups—in 2015 murders of transgendered people reached an all-time high in the US, a Muslim center in Spokane was vandalized with the words “Death to Islam” while prayer was in session, instances of unarmed black men being killed continue to multiply, and women who have contributed their stories to the #ShoutYourAbortion movement have received death threats, to name just a few examples.

“Sticks and stones can break our bones, but

we are seeing words actually hurt people,” said Jackie Vaughn, Planned Parenthood community organizer in response to the escalation in violence.

These generalizations and hate speech are put out by politicians for a reason— they take away an individual’s humanity, shut down progressive movements, silence activists, and foster a culture of fear that ensures they remain in control. And when you start a conversation with the most false and inflammatory rhetoric you can muster, it’s impossible to respond. There’s no negotiating, progress, or resolution with the playground bully.

We Stand Together

On a rainy, cold Saturday night, dozens of people filtered into the darkened sanctuary of the Unitarian Universalist Church of Spokane for a vigil called We Stand Together. Each person cupped a little candle in their hands, softly illuminating their faces. The room was quiet, save for the voice of Reverend Todd Eklof and his bell.

At first a warm quiet sound, the sound of the bell grew louder in the room. It was struck each time Eklof read the names of victims of violence that was motivated by hate speech. By the end of the list, the bell’s sound filled every inch of the room.

“Let’s remain awake in our culture of violence and remember those we’ve lost, stand in solidarity with those who must now live in fear, and commit to taking action to make our world a more peaceful and just place for everyone,” Eklof said, with the bell still sounding in the background.

Like Eklof, we at Planned Parenthood, along with many other community partners and targeted groups, are calling for an end to this violence. We commit to being awake and aware, and to fostering productive and accepting conversations that reach real solutions.

We stand together to ensure the bell never grows loud again.

January_February 2015

31

Family Social Connection

Teens and the

Cell Phone: The Social Connection

By Kimberly Blaker

IF ANYTHING IS synonymous with

adolescence, the phone certainly tops the list. Of course, this phenomenon isn’t unique to today’s teens. Think back to your own teen years. Remember the carefree days of lingering on the phone with your friends discussing such important matters as what to wear to your brother’s (and his cute teammates’) baseball game, your secret crush on the new boy next door, and the oppressive rules your parents have laid down for the school year?

In many respects, today’s teens are no different. A study conducted by the University of Illinois found that the average teen spends two to three hours a day on the telephone (although only about half of that time is actually spent in conversation). While these statistics may seem excessive when considering how unhealthy such amounts of time spent plopped in front of the TV set or playing video games can be, there are significant differences in the effects.

Psychologists say that teens need such opportunities for socializing to broaden and strengthen their social networks, according to the May 1999 issue of Globe Magazine.

“Teens have a developmental need to check in with each other, to reaffirm their place in the group,” explains Sharon Gordetsky, President of the Massachusetts Psychological Association. “They get panicky at the prospect of being left out.”

During the teen years this need for constant socializing, that sometimes appears a lack of responsibility and a shortage of other interests, is actually crucial to your teen’s social development and sense of identity.

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K IDS STUFF W ITH PR EV IOUS EXPE R IENCE

Nancy Cobb in Adolescence: Continuity, Change, and Diversity explains that adolescents’ friendships define “who they are and what they are going to be in life.”

With modern technology, teen phone issues have become more complex, however.

Seventy-eight percent of all teens own cell phones, according to a 2013 study conducted

by Pew Research. More than half of these teen owned cell phones have been purchased by, and to alleviate, worried parents, as revealed by the Detroit News.

Whatever the reason for teen cell phone use, some additional concerns that have arisen include high cell phone bills and safety issues that are posed when less experienced drivers are talking on the phone.

Regardless of teens’ high phone use, another related issue has evolved. According to twenty percent of teens surveyed by the Pew Internet & American Life Project, the use of online correspondence has become teens’ main means of communication with their peers.

Unless phone use is interfering with homework or chores, is substantially replacing physical activity and family time, or is tying up the phone line preventing others from its use, there’s no harm in lengthy phone conversations.

However, while parents need to make allowances for their teen’s growing need to socialize, teens must also earn that privilege by adhering to general household courtesies.

These courtesies are best learned, not only by the establishment of rules, but by the examples that parents set. Courtesies should be extended both ways.

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Family Mental Health

ACCEPTING YOURSELF,

Mess & All

By Sandra Gormon-Brown & Lori Eastep

WITH THE HUSTLE and bustle of the holiday season, getting caught up in the gifts, the parties, and the consumption of sugar cookies is often far too common. Some people inhale the excitement of decorating, shopping, gift giving and baking while others exhale the fear of not having enough time, money or energy to make it through.

And then, in the blink of an eye, it’s over, leaving in its wake the residue of feeling bloated and broke, short on time and reflecting on the “would have, could have, should haves” of the year.

We vow that this year will be different. We resolve anew to work out regularly, eat healthy, read more, work less, and so on. The cycle continues.

But what if we change it up? Instead of making resolutions that will almost invariably lead to more disappointment, let’s become more intentional in simply accepting who we are and loving our messy selves. Intentionality is something of a buzzword these days, often used to scaffold motivation for doing. The old, you can if you will adage. But what if we create intentionality about being? About choosing? About empowerment?

Setting intentions is simple, realistic and completely doable. You can create your intentions each and every day, changing them as you see fit. What would it feel like to choose joy, to choose self-esteem, to choose to trust yourself, to choose to love yourself for everything you are and everything you are not?

Research shows that when we change our thoughts, we change our feelings. Setting an intention requires us to choose our thoughts. It’s simple, yet complex. In our practice, we often see women who have carried the burden of terribly unhelpful, distorted thoughts for years. They live with these thoughts as though they were the truth. Invariably, these

negative, distorted thoughts pave the way for negative feelings which lead to unhealthy behaviors which lead to more negative thoughts. It’s a vicious cycle of self-destruction. The voice inside our head crescendos to a dull roar, urging us to give up or not bother. It drowns out the soft voice that whispers, “Yes, you can.”

The reality is that change, whether planned and welcomed, forced or unexpected, is challenging but not impossible. Most of spend our lives on autopilot, allowing distorted thought patterns to dominate our thinking, leading to mixed up or hard feelings and sometimes unhealthy patterns of behavior. The good news is you are in complete control of your thoughts and have the ability to change them with daily intention and practice.

So let’s start 2016 by embracing the idea of intention rather than resolution, starting with selflove, self-acceptance and self-care. Choose your thoughts with care for yourself and the others in your life. Intend kindness, humor, compassion and humility. Choose yourself.

Sandra Gormon-Brown and Lori Eastep are licensed clinical social workers and partners at Grassroots Therapy Group. They are committed to supporting children and families in the surrounding areas who are impacted by grief, loss and trauma, or simply this so called thing “Life.”

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Lend a Hand

Family

How to Take Action in

Tough Times

WHEN THINGS GO AWRY

for someone you love, it can be hard to know just how to help. Don’t let fear of saying or doing the wrong thing prevent you from taking action. It’s important to remember that some gesture, whether big or small, is better than doing nothing at all.

If you find yourself unsure of how you can lend a hand in a time of need, start by envisioning what you might find helpful if you ever found yourself in the same situation.

Also take into account special circumstances that may hinder delivering on that need and seek alternatives. For example, a child fighting a severe illness may be desperately missing friends from school, but visitors are limited due to his compromised immune system. Your answer for taking action: work with the child’s teacher and have classmates make cards or funny videos you can share.

Overcoming emotion and channeling that energy into action can be a challenge when times are tough, but these ideas will help give you the inspiration to get started:

Acknowledgement. Sometimes the greatest help can be hearing that you’re not alone. A simple call or a card letting your loved one know that you’re thinking of them is a small but important gesture in a time of need. Not knowing what to say or fear that talking about it will bring more pain keeps many people quiet in the face of tragedy. A support system that helps chase away a sense of isolation is important.

Crowdsourcing. Relying on the vastness of social media is a smart strategy for gaining financial support, whether it’s helping defray expenses or raising funds in honor of a special person or cause. For example, iPads from Isaac, a crowdsourcing campaign through Move Your Mountain, has raised more than $10,000 in a little over six months to fund iPads for non-verbal children like Isaac, who

passed away at the age of 7. Choosing the right platform can help ensure the success of your campaign. Move Your Mountain offers mentors to support new users via email and live chat, helping tell a compelling story and even select impactful photos and videos. The service also offers the lowest fees currently available with no campaign time limits. Learn more at moveyourmountain.org.

Donations. When casseroles have been delivered, cards sent and other immediate needs seen to, you may find yourself asking what next. That’s when a thoughtful gesture such as donating your time, money or things to a related charity is sure to be appreciated. Your contributions may or may not directly affect the individual you’re acting on behalf of, but the show of support sends a strong message.

Gifting differently.

If you have a gifting occasion on the horizon, take advantage of the opportunity.

Ask others to forego the gifts they may have sent you, and instead direct those resources to your loved one in need, whether in the form of money or items they need, such as books, new pajamas or a cozy blanket. On the flip side, if you’re the one giving, let your recipient know a contribution has been made in his or her name and share some information about the cause in a thoughtful card.

Stress relief. When crises occur, day-to-day concerns get pushed aside. But over time, worries such as lawn care and household chores can wear on caregivers and injured or ill individuals alike. Work together to create a task list, then enlist help from others to tackle the list and eliminate unnecessary stress.

When bad things happen, it’s natural to feel helpless. Taking charge and taking action can help you constructively manage through a time of need, encourage others to do the same and make a meaningful difference in your community.

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I’VE ALWAYS LIVED by the philosophy that “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” But unless life also hands you sugar and water, your lemonade will taste extremely bitter. That’s why I like to subscribe to my other favorite belief that “Humor is the shock absorber of life.” Humor, with a light dash of sarcasm, becomes the sugar and water that keeps my “life lemonade” properly balanced between bitter and sweet.

While sarcasm comes to me rather naturally, humor can take years for me to find, especially when it’s served with some of life’s bigger lemons. When my youngest son Caleb began showing signs of autism, I didn’t find anything funny about it. I was extremely bitter that autism affected yet another one of my children.

But as I have watched Caleb grow over the past seven years, I have enjoyed dozens of humorous autism idiosyncrasies that make him the spectacular, sweet, lovable, and kind-hearted boy that brightens my life. For each laugh he brings me, a spoonful of sugar is added to my cup of “life lemonade.”

Without actually realizing it, my older son Tyler was quietly learning to make his own version of “life lemonade.” By the second grade, the subtle facial twitches of his nose and mouth began to change into a full sideways head jerk. He made lemonade out of his lemons by growing his hair a little longer and calling it his “Justin Bieber move.” But as Tyler got older, the body movements grew beyond the sideways head jerk and nose wrinkle. He developed more complex, repetitive and involuntary body movements that included uncontrollable verbal utterances that most people know as Tourette’s syndrome.

Yet again I watched my son make a new batch of “life lemonade” out of a growing pile of lemons. His teacher and I agreed to help him keep his diagnosis a secret from his classmates. Surprisingly, he made it work for a while. Tyler, an outgoing and likable kid, had just the right amount of charm, wit and sarcasm to work into just about any situation. When he would blurt out, “What’s two plus two?

MOOOOOOO!!!” his classmates would think it was a joke with a zany punchline. When he’d say various forms of, “My grandma farted and the house blew up,” I’m pretty sure his classmates thought he

Making special the new normal

was on his way to becoming the next Last Comic Standing.

But the situation got real for me the day Tyler got into an altercation during a PE class. Another student mistook his facial tics as a mocking, insulting smirk. That was the day I came to realize that his safety could be at risk, especially if there was no parent or teacher present to intervene on his behalf. After much persuasion, Tyler agreed to tell his classmates, and to his relief, they were accepting of his condition. He explained to his class that fighting a tic is like trying to not scratch a really bad mosquito bite. It eventually itches so bad, it hurts.

This summer, as we got ready to walk into Avista Stadium to watch a Spokane Indians baseball game, he said shaking his head, “Wow, Mom. I have a new tic and this one’s annoying. I can’t stop making this kissy, smooching sound.” My heart started pounding in my chest as I explained to Tyler, “You have to try hard to fight that tic. Someone might get really offended if they think you’re making kissy noises at them.” Tyler just smiled and said, “I already thought of that. If the girl’s cute, I’ll give her my best smolder look and give her a wink. Maybe I’ll even get her digits.

But if someone gets bent out of shape, I’ll just pretend I’m calling my lost dog. You don’t have to worry, Mom. I’ve got this.”

Tyler continues to amaze me with his persistent ability to make cup after cup of delicious “life lemonade.” With the help of a local provider and a lot of practice and patience, Tyler has learned strategies to help him control the tic impulses. It takes a lot of concentration and his mastery is still ongoing because many of his tics and utterances appear and disappear without a clear understanding as to why. But selfishly, there is one utterance I hope he never loses. I’ll never get tired of hearing him tic, “Mom, I love you! Mom, I love you!” I’d be okay if that particular tic stays around forever.

Holly Lytle is the mother of three and is the founder of The ISAAC Foundation, a local nonprofit organization.

In her free time, Holly enjoys chronicling her many adventures of motherhood for this column.

Health symposium

Q+A WITH A PANEL OF FIVE PRACTITIONERS

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Wednesday FEB 24th, 2016 5:00p.m.– 8:00p.m.

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January_February 2015

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If they only knew

I TRIPLE CHECKED the pregnancy test box to make sure that two parallel lines meant a negative result. What a relief. I had been terrified for days as I processed the possibility of a pregnancy from a reckless one-night stand. I was the mother of four small children, and had been struggling for quite some time with an unraveling marriage. I couldn’t think of a worse scenario to get myself into. Facing the magnitude of my actions stunned me back on track to fully face the situation with my husband. I wasn’t the kind of woman to do the very thing I suspected my husband of doing: cheating on the person I swore I loved, the other parent of my darling children, cheating on our family.

As relief washed over me, I sank down deep into the sofa. I pulled in the air of the room and forced it back out again as I expressed gratitude for escaping a game changing bullet. I began rebuilding the view of myself, and of my marriage. I thought deep into my core as to how to best navigate the marital storms to turn back toward my husband and rebuild our connection, our family. I was grateful for what felt like a second chance when the haunt of what could have been rose up inside of me again.

I dug through the trash to find the pregnancy test and check it against the instruction booklet. I had been feeling overly emotional and was a couple of days late on my period, which was odd for me. It was as though I was reading the instructions with new eyes: the line configuration on mine wasn’t negative after all. I hadn’t felt nauseous before, but barely made it to the toilet before losing my lunch. My worst fear was my reality: I was pregnant with another man’s baby and I knew I couldn’t stay that way.

The morning of my termination appointment, I took my children to school to help their teacher set up their classrooms. As the other moms worked alongside the teachers, busily organizing the room, and the children giggled while sharing stories of summertime adventures, I couldn’t help but wonder . . . If They Only Knew. If they only knew my situation and what I was scheduled to go through in a couple of hours.

Would they still think of me as an amazing mom, someone everyone could always count on, all things to all people? Would it please them to learn I was far from perfect and pulled together? Would they offer me a hug and empathetically say they couldn’t imagine facing my kind of scenario? Would they judge and avoid me, whisper together in ways that delightfully fed their drama demons?

I dropped off the kids to a play date, hugged them longer than they liked, and told them I would see them in a few hours. Refusing medication so I could drive myself, I was fully present to the choice I was making, to the depths of interpersonal destruction I had allowed myself to fall into. As I lay back on the examining table and felt the nurses moving around me, searing tears raced down my cheeks. I was mad at my husband, and at myself. I was sad about choosing to take away the beginning of life inside of me, and I was relieved to have the choice. I prayed and apologized and promised my way through the afternoon.

As the medical professionals handed me the discharge papers and explained that I should go straight home and rest for the next couple of days, I smiled and wondered . . . If They Only Knew. I walked out into the sunshine, climbed into my car, pulled on my sunglasses, turned up the music, and drove to pick up my children. It was almost dinnertime, my husband would be home soon, and I still needed to make a quick stop at the grocery store. If They Only Knew . . .

“If They Only Knew” is an anonymous guest column featuring essays from the “snapshot” life moments of courage and perseverance in Spokane/Coeur d’Alene women. If you would like to share a moment of your life when you thought, “If They Only Knew,” please send an email to editor@spokanecdawoman.com or mail a hard copy to our editor, Stephanie Regalado, at 104 S. Freya, Ste. 209, Spokane, WA 99202.

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