pill magazine
th e
n o i t r o b a r u o y t shou is s u e
educate your fucking self!
prescription notes
dear reader, let’s all gather in for a group hug and consensual buttslaps! it’s time for issue #1 of pill! here’s what i hope is a brazen and grimy alternative to the pamphlets kept in lobbies of reproductive health clinics.
pill magazine “educate your fucking self!” issue one ch i c a g o , i l w w w. p i l l m a g . c o m
this whole stinkbomb c r e at e d , r e s e a r c h e d , w r i t t e n , a n d d e s i g n e d by k t h aw b a ke r - k r o h n k h aw b a @ s a i c . e d u
the first round (as the cover tells ya) is the shoutyourabortion issue. a lot of folks like to toss around the “one in three” statistic to normalize this procedure, but abortion is far more complicated than that. it’s crucial that we move past the defintion of abortion as a “women’s issue.” abortion should be available anyone with a uterus. i was fortunate enough to have access to an abortion when i was sixteen. at the time, i found myself between a rock and motherhood. it took a long time to get over the sense of shame that came with it (i’m from a small, catholic town in iowa), but now i realize that the decision instilled me with a sense of power and agency. that’s not true for everyone, and, hey, if you’re reading this as you contemplate your own choices, remember that you know what’s best for yourself. most of all, i hope this magazine gives you a bit of support. wanna write for the next issue? shoot me an email! i am totally willing to publish anonymously and want to extend narrative about reproductive justice beyond the white, cisgender, and straight-as-a-rod crowd. i don’t want to think of pill as “inclusive,” like i am bringing everyone in towards one, big, white middle ground, so i am calling it “connective,” meaning that folks are reaching out to each other across a complicated, often oppressive, terrain that needs to be surveyed. and, on that note, here goes nothing!
p.s. big hugs and sloppy kisses to adrianne behning, for letting me ask tons of questions dr. mary ann rasmussen, for giving me the space and safety to write about my own abortion and, duh, my sweetie kate hawbaker-krohn, whose energy and love keeps my heart pounding
with glitter and gratitude,
kt hawbaker-Krohn founder and editor-in-chief
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shoutforabortion
pro-abortion protest chants to use at your next rally
“shoutyourabortion” is a hashtag created by amelia bonow and lindy west after the former had an abortion at a planned parenthood. according to the new york times, “The effort went viral and drew more than !5O,OOO Twitter posts, showing how volatile and emotional an issue abortion still is four decades after the Supreme Court declared it legal.”
compiled by
kt hawbaker-krohn
in solidarity wit h bonow and west, here’s how to shout about abortion rights in public!
keep you rt off of my heology biology! keep you r rosarie s off of my ovaries!
wh ar en w e our bodies! wh und ome sta at d er a n’s r our lives! o wh nd u we ttack ights our right att en t p! fi do? , r g wh ack, ans ht b to decide! rig ac sta at d ht k! ow n sa d wh re up e d e un ar n q ! fi o? e u ue gh de wh nd er t b r a a r e c i t r sta g k nd do w atta hts ! up e d ck, ! fi o? gh tb ac k !
learn more about shoutyourabortion by
visiting twitter
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pp ii ll ll m m aa gg aa zz ii nn ee
w h a t to ex pe c t w h en you don’t want to expec t a short guide to abortion
now that you’ve made the choice to terminate a pregnancy, you might be wondering what to do next. here’s a straight-from-the-hip, no bullshit
rundown.
first, assess the situation.
check in with yo urself and gaug feelings. e your
it’s okay to fe gross, exha te totally at easeel d, or . whatever yous riencing is valid u’re expesome quiet time,. go for walk or have if you need it.
second, figur e out your supports if you’re under eighte you might need parental consent or a en, getting an abortion.* judicial bypass before
feel unsafe telling a ent? you have the right to a court-appopar inted attorney who can help you get starte d on the bypass. check out positive.org’s sup er old-school website for more info. if you’re of age, you ht be in a much ier position. you donmig ’t have to tell a dameas n person what’s going on, but it might be helpful to lean on a family member, trusted friend, or partner for sup port as you go through the loops.
*make sure you vote the assholes who put up these roadblocks out of their jobs when you’re old enough
third, make friends with a clinic
do a little bit o’ research and find a clinic that provides abortion services. they might be far away, so you might need to plan for travel. beware of ‘crisis pregnancy centers.’ pro-lifers run them and will try to talk you out of your decision by lying to you about your options and offering inaccurate information.
m aa gg aa zz ii nn ee pp ii ll ll m
four! get that money, honey! planned parenthood estimates that abortions cost between $300 and $950 (bye, rent!)
if this isn’t an affordable option for you, check with your clinic to see if they have funds at the ready or offer any sliding-scale options. in many states, there are access funds set up for abortions, too. check out fundabortionnow.org to see what’s up where you get down.
6 ut the gure o fi , e v and, fi ath afterm sure, it sounds a little loaded right now, but abortions are hella-commo you’re going to come out n procedures. on the other side, just like millions of oth er people. your clinic will insist tha t you have a ride home, this is a good tim to rely on that support, but, hey, if youe treat yourself to an uber’re lone-wolfing it, rest. take care of yourse and go get some lf. and, if you need to chat wit h someone, give exhale’s national hot : 1-866-4-EXHALE. They are a ‘pro-voice’line -profit that help folks process their abonon rtions.
doctor’s note
with nurse’s nurse’s assistant assistant with adrianne behning behning adrianne
ten abortion tips
7
In Iow a Cit In Iow a y, Iow City , Iow a, th a,ethe EmEm ma ma Golan Goldm dClinicma isnon e ofictw Clin isoone abor oftio two abo n pr rtio n ov ide rs av ailvid able pro toava ers theilab hoar le ds to the of stu hoa derds nts of at students at the the Uni Unive verrs sity ity of of Iow Iowa. a. AdrianneBehning, Behning,now nowaanursing nursingstudent studentat atthe the Adrianne school’s huge research hospital, “worked as school’s huge research hospital, “worked as aa patient advocateat atthe theEmma EmmaGoldman Goldmanclinic clinicfor, for, patient advocate like, 3 years” and provided support during “hunlike, 3 years” and provided support during “hundreds”of ofabortions. abortions. dreds”
here’s some sage wisdom straight from her brain to yours:
ation.” chin up! ! keep your on’t owe anyone an explan “you d
ists.”
of any “activ
2
ear rs.” ith proteste escorts to help you steer clr from assholes on your w e g a g n e ’t . “don encounte meone olunteer
so might s have v call to see if ssment you some clinic ra a h y ive them a n g a d n ct a e fl e e n d o h to help er in your p their job is yourself, inic’s numb cl r u o y e atened, ask v re th l e fe d way in. sa or having a wn an u. teous jerks h rs on your o e ig st -r lf te se ro can meet yo p se r decisions the to face s in front of sible for you d n if you have n o co sp se re e 0 b 2 ’t g d they won rier: spendin now you, an k “what’s sca f them. ’t o n o y d n a le p to peo talk baby?” these don’t have to stop and you either way. estions you t? st of any qu u li o a b e a k a g m in t, you think ppointmen nt.” 3. what aree days leading up to your a ss during your appointme “in th t to addre gs you wan in th r o , e v a might h lpful to take ol. if not, he n le ty n r o la p n ke ibuprofe in-killing 4. have a pa they give you pain meds litment.” “ask if the appoin re or during fo e b s g in these th
doctor’s note
6. but, hey, be ready for when you’re ‘ready’
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“have a birth control plan in place. you can ovulate at any point after an abortion and become pregnant again. you can even ask about getting birth control at your abortion appointment.”
7. shower regularly
“avoid baths, hot tubs, swimming pools to also reduce your risk of infection.”
8. take another test
“you’ll want to do a repeat pregnancy test a few weeks after your procedure. if you take one immediately after, it will still come up positive because pregnancy hormones decline over time.” YIKES.
9. let your uterus do its thing
“for second trimester procedures, the period of recovery should be a few weeks longer, because the uterus has a bit more shrinking and healing to do.”
!0. trade in your booze for some yummy hot tea
“avoid alcohol, it can thin your blood a bit and increase bleeding, or make it difficult to notice if something is wrong.”
hey! don’t forget that abortion isn’t just a ciswomen’s issue!! 9
coming fall 2016
!O
on the cusp of another presidential election, as oleaginous dudes everywhere leap to podiums and offer their two cents on abortion, movies that enrich this issue, instead of just treating it as some weepy-eyed melodrama or pulpit spectacle, deserve screentime. five films from the past twenty years form a timely constellation around this issue, speaking truth to the experience and its narrative possibilities.
If These Walls Could Ta lk (!996) despite its moments of made-for-TV cheese, “walls” is a refresher cou rse on how women discussed reproductive justice at the end of the millennium. in three par ts, this hbo miniseries scratches at the anti-fe minist leftovers of the reagan era by whisperin g the multiple lives of one house that functioned as a clinic. the episodes move throug h post-war america, making pit stops before and after roe v. wade, and then conclude with a !99O’s pro-life rally. next to other films on thi s list, it feels dated, but that’s precisely why ‘walls’ is worth watching (well, that and badass abortion provider cher).
celluloid celluloid !! 6)
Citizen Ruth (!99
yne uses “ruth” tor alexander pa writer and direc e left and right, th rities between to examine simila ences the very ical piety often sil showing how polit a blend of th wi e.” “the choic women who make tness, payne es d nebraskan earn twisted humor an rn), a pregde a ur (la s op ruth sto de huffing tells the story of clu in n whose hobbies nant white woma around and ed gg tu e’s sh . ng ali spray paint and ste polar causes, mbol for seemingly ashowcased as a sy ch of ristian fund er with a family und, radro first taking shelt rg de un of p ou en, a gr mentalists and, th ndpapery swoosie ich includes a sa ical lesbians, wh kurtz.
Palindromes (2OO4) “palindromes” also problematiz es the unrealistic certainty of dichotic politics, making a statement about how one set of principl es is essentially the same as its opposite, even thou gh it’s spelled backwards. a revolving cast fills the role of aviva, a !3-year-old whose parents forc e her into terminating a pregnancy that she planned on her own. fixated on becoming pregnan t again, aviva runs away and seeks comfort in a variety of sordid situations. another title for this film could be “Except In the Case Of.” director Todd Solo ndz (Happiness), however, offers little opinion on the his subject’s predicament. instead, he allo ws the audience to settle into their judgements conc erning aviva’s situation. he then changes the rule s of the stor y as soon as he’s made ever yone comfort able, infesting the concept of abortion with mor al relativism, a bleak magician’s trick.
celluloid !2 with Obv by n its blith i ous a Chil rrative e attitu Chil d d s d (2 gilli ” is mo like “K e in the re in an r f n O!4) obes com tere ocked ace of p Up” pier sted ro-li butt r the ( f e i e e n 2 r , m fa OO w m sam e tim t, an ex akes ab hat it c 7), “O an-babvio orti plor an k e, co o a us n jenn n t mpl y etel ion tha the sub ock dow y ac gets slate p t fee j n. e c t cept l l p able s braze of romthis regnan ays don n an . na, is a t aft a sta d, at mill cozy er lo e n ful f Brookly nnial fa sing her d-up co r m i n into iends. t apart r ytale; job and edienn m h d b t apat he shap e film f ent and onna’s oyfrien e who eels rock o e of d. b a cr u take w wou ld n a judd a energet ew of le -bottom t, s on ever ic as pato wd, as a i the utte wm insi s a it sq sexbold ghtr “a ovie fort posi ueez ness b t . w stru ith the ive cha of a rio ortion,” but, wh es itself ra tggle e d r in th ecision cter wh grrrl an obespi re er . d is m o ovie there’s ponder writes re on d s to cr eate ly enou her own onna g a pu nch h emot comline iona . l
Grandma (2O!5) rvations, grandma wielding smart, gendered obse to women. in this rent recognizes the agency inhe try to thwart it. who e thos on are s joke the comedy, hup of adrimas a , reid elle as lily tomlin crackles acter ever. char del enne rich and ever y alison bech
ddaughter, sage, the plot takes off when her gran without an entire s. buck 63O for ask to comes over nd, sage reveals grou back the orchestra playing in ded to get an abordeci has and t nan preg s she’ that is also broke, stroking tion. slle then reveals that she e out of her credit mad s the wind chimes that she’ , without much of and car a into hop two cards. the ey from spirits of mon the up e a plan, try to scroung p film, written shar this feminisms past and present. ugh sage’s thro es pars tz, wei l pau by and directed ortive and supp as just s feel decision with a lens that ce isn’t queschoi s ter’ ugh dda gran the . elle calm as wed, but they’re not tioned; complications are allo . aise mal by d jade
!3
been there, done that
folks speak on their abortion experiences
compiled by kt hawbaker-krohn
easier much w o h medwn as. The ch ’d kno w I e h r s u i “I w proced not ver y mu l rgical the su bortion was day. Surgica a e ication ook an entir quicker and t h d c n u a fun en m ave be h d l u wo inful.” less pa “I’ve had an abortion. What no one told me and I never knew before having it is how relieved I would feel today for mak ing the decision I made so many years ago . Although it’s not something I freely toss abo ut in conversation, it remains a fact of my life, a choice I made for myself and for the life of that 7 week old embryo. (Is it still an embryo at that point or just a zygote? Not sure... but it was real little.) I decided that I needed to fulfill the dreams I had set in motion for my life and for the unborn one, that it deserved a bett er life than what I, an unprepared young’u n with a less than ideal partner at the time, could provide for it. I also didn’t know at the time that the experience of having an abo rtion would create a fire in me to be the best mother I can be to my children today. I’ve alw ays known I wanted to be a mother, but it had to be on my terms. Now, I get to be the mom I want to be instead of the mom I wou ld have had to become.”
“Before I got an abortion, I always heard people say, ‘abortion is a private decision between a woman and her doctor.’ So I was completely unprepared for how cold, how un-und erstanding, how callous, unhelpful and rude my doctor’s office was when I said that I wanted one. Save the details, but suffice to say, the nurse said on the phone, “OH, No! The DOCtor won’t have anything to do with tha t. You’ll have to go to the “clinic” on the southside of town!” My abortion experience was rather harrowing, but that was a facet of it that I’m still not sure I’m over. I gue ss I wish I had known that just becaus e you have a right to this medical pro cedure, doesn’t mean that the med ical establishment won’t let you down at a time when you could use some sup port.” “I was fortunate enough to be well informed of the risks (thank you Internet) and confident that it was the best choice at that time in my life.”
!4
abor tion horo scop es aries
gemini
taurus
mar.21–apr.19
apr.20-may20
Fuck anyone who tells you
that you are making the wrong
cancer
may21–june20
decision. You were born capable of
leo
june21-july22
july23-aug.22
choosing your own destiny and taking
control of your well-being. This
virgo
libra
scorpio
aug.23-sept.21
sept.22-oct.23
oct.24-nov.21
might be challenging, but remember
you are not alone in your experiences.
Should someone give you shit as you go
capricorn
sagittarius nov.22-dec.21
dec.22-jan.19
about your journey, take a deep breath,
and remember that you only have to
aquarius
pisces
jan.20-feb.18
feb.19-mar.20
answer to you. Your agency is not up to
the stars; it is not a source of shame.
everyone It’s all going to be okay.