Communication Between Couples

COMMUNICATION BETWEEN COUPLES HOW TO COMMUNICATE IN A RELATIONSHIP

Communication is one of the integral skills that determine the success or failure of any relationship. People are not born with great communication skills, but anyone can master this skill and turn their life into a successful one. For without being able to express oneself and listen to the other, partners can hardly achieve a successful relationship or intimacy. But by developing communication skills, partners can maintain a loving, respectful relationship for life.

The Purpose of Communication in Relationships In any relationship, couples need to feel safe, secure, understood, and cared for. One way to communicate and feel those needs is through a successful two-way communication; meaning that both parties express and listen. Couples who do not practice proper communications skills tend to listen less, fight more, get frustrated, and reach wrong assumptions, which in return deteriorate the relationship. One purpose of communication is to determine what reality is. Communication entails the cooperation of both partners as they share and examine their opinions, feelings, concerns, and thoughts to come to an accurate understanding of their problems. The purpose of communication is not to only express and listen, but also validate. It is mandatory to show that you have listened, understood, and determined reality. Validating does not mean agreeing or compromising. It means that your partner’s opinion is worth listening to and considering, and the other way around.

HOW TO COMMUNICATE: Do Not Criticize

It is an unfortunate reality that couples tend to build walls instead of bridges during conflicts. Instead of expressing contradicting opinions constructively, many partners attack, accuse, criticize, blame, and victimize one another. It is important for each partner to focus on expressing their own opinion and not overshadowing the opinion of the other.

Listening Is Not About You

Listening is entirely about the person you are listening to. Even during a conflict, it is mandatory to put aside your point of view and listen carefully, because your opinions and reactions are likely to be both irrelevant and inappropriate to your partner. The person talking is not looking to you for advice or guidance. They just want to be heard and understood.

Talk About Your Personal Needs

Many couples find it very hard to express personal wishes, such as more intimate time, more quality time, a bigger home, a baby, participation in house chores, etc. Many of us have grown up feeling ashamed of our wants. Some by their parents, others by their partners. But the personal wants that come from our deep nificant. The more that you communicate your wants,

desires, vulnerable places, or great love are not insigthe more you will be in touch with yourself, and the closer the relationship will be.

Practice the Art of Compassion

When we carefully listen to our partner’s feelings and the roots that triggered those feelings, we gain compassion for them. This is the essence of a relationship; is to be able to understand, respect, and offer support and love to one another through the pain and struggles of life. We do not always need to give advice or perspective, but rather listen and gain a new perspective ourselves. Giving advice or being judgmental is condescending and patronizing. It is as if you are dealing with your enemy not your beloved partner.

Communication Should Bring You Closer

One of the most effective techniques that couples use to manipulate, control, and punish each other during a conflict is intimidation. It is very common among our culture to frighten one partner into submission. Some people even practice this on the first day of marriage. Communication should bring a couple closer to one another. It should be used to break down the barriers that keep them apart, not to build up further conflicts and negative feelings between both individuals.