January 2017

Black - B r i g h t

News

Creating New Perspectives

Issue 51

What’s the attraction to the Betting Shop?

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS W H A T ’ S YO U R S ?

Relationships - Gut Instinct or

THE MILLENIALS A Cheated Generation?

Later in the evening, I call all my loved ones and close friends or text those I can’t get hold of, and wish them a safe and wonderful New Year.

The Editorial

HAPPY NEW YEAR READERS!

The bed gets fresh sheets, and the mattress gets turned around or over, and then, just before midnight, I hold a coin or a note in my hand as a symbol of prosperity, so that the new year does not see me in without money on me.

As the new year approaches, the majority of us start making plans of what we want to accomplish in the New Year and we tend to call them ‘New Year’s Resolutions’.

I have been following this process for at least five years, but the bed changing and washing of clothes a lot longer.

For some of us the New Year is about what we don’t want to take forward with us, into the New Year, and for others, it is about what we want to achieve in the new year.

Depending on which part of the world we are, we all tend to follow rituals at some point in the year, but on New Year’s Eve in the UK, it is to ensure that we have the best possible start to the days, weeks and months following its entrance. Some spend it at church, some go to Trafalgar Square, a club/pub while some spend it at home with a glass of bubbly, watching the new year in on the big screen.

My new year tends to start the same, i.e. on Christmas Eve. I find a red piece of paper, which is usually an old Christmas Card envelope, I split it open, and start writing down all the things I don’t want to follow me into the New Year. I then find a piece of yellow paper, which, for the last three years, has been the same piece of yellow paper that I have updated, or marked ‘ongoing’ and parked it snugly in my Bible.

On the eve of New Years, the red piece of paper, accompanies me to the kitchen, where I light the stove and ‘bun down Babylon’ In other words, I simply watch the red piece of paper and its contents, burn to smithereens.

can be cleaned up.

The new year, for most of us, heralds a new beginning.

An opportunity to do something different, to be someone better, to create the best version of ourselves; to develop new attitudes, and observe ourselves develop into wiser caring and more conscious human beings.

I am always fascinated at how the red piece of paper burns, because it doesn’t go up in flames at once, it starts burning itself out before time; it misses essential parts of my ‘requests’, so I find myself, manouvering it over the black stove cover so that the flames can disintegrate every section of the paper that

The New Year, is a significant moment, and while I sometimes try to brush it off by saying it’s only a matter of one second, that one second could make all the difference to someone escaping an accident, missing a train, losing a loved one, or bringing life into the world. So every second counts, as does every minute, hour, day, month, year... so let’s celebrate!

Happy New Year everyone! The Editor

I find the process quite liberating, because depending on what I have written, it is like I have burned every negative thought and experience and I am ready to start afresh.

Another thing I do on New Year’s Eve is to make sure I wash all the clothes have been worn – even once.

This is more difficult than it sounds, because, invariably, I find that I have used something and not washed it by the time the New Year comes in.

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which, I learned meant all horses had to come either 1st, 2nd or 3rd, and I remember winning what was then a lot of money, but I can ‘t remember how much I got.

I never looked down on my mum and dad when they put on a bet, so I am not quite sure where my selfrighteousness came from.

Like my mum and dad, I got a surge of excitement when I saw my horse win against all the other horses.

It is that adrenalin addicts strive for - the dopamine chemical was taking effect.

Perception of the Betting Shop

I had a friend who was dating someone who liked to bet, and in the end she ended the relationship with him because she was unhappy that he was happy to be in the betting shop all day, and not help with the housework or cooking.

(A true story by Sadie Foxton)

I used to look down on black men I saw going inside a bookie shop. I used to turn my nose up: “Wockless” I would mutter under my breath, and I would make that judgement based purely on that observation.

I asked her if he had tidied up, gone to the bookies, but had the dinner ready, when she got home and threw in a few bucks from his winnings, if that would have encouraged her to maintain the relationship and she admitted that she wouldn’t have ended the relationship if there had been some balance. It’s a difficult one - because gamblers are hoping that the ‘win’ will make their spouses happy - but the problem with that is that the ‘wins’ are too few and far between - so the focus is on what the gambler is not doing, and not what he is able to do when he wins.

Strange thing is that my mum, who is quite posh and well to do, loved to put on a bet on a Saturday – I am not sure if my mum put a bet on in the week, but every Saturday my dad would trot into the local village and pick up the daily newspaper and my mum and dad would look through the newspapers for a considerable amount of time and pick a horse. Ocasionally, if there was a Grand National race, they would put a bet on that.

Horse Gambling is quite complex and differs slightly from casino gambling, fruit machines because you actually get to see what you are betting on, but different or not, society’s take s a dim view on gambling, especially when it causes mismanagement of funds; the gambler starts borrowing against earnings or

I remember being invited to put on a bet - “you never know your luck, my girl, just pick a couple of names that you like, and I will put the bed on for you.

I remember putting on a bet on a horse called Red Rum and another horse called Black Sabbath, with a couple of other horses - it was a 5p each way accumulator bet,

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what he might get, and it adversely affects the family life and the home. When gambling becomes addictive, gamblers could end up pawning valuables, selling loved one’s possessions; borrowing against the mortgage, taking out loans on credit cards - that’s when you know that it is no longer a past-time but a habit that is spiralling out of control.

Myrna Loy, Founder & Managing Editor

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I gamble sometimes - I put on a 10p e.w. Accumulator bet and 1p Yankee, which costs me 21p for 4 horses.

I was told it was a ‘bookies bet’, which meant that bookies like that bet because it was a difficult bet to win. I did’t care if it was a bookies bet - I could make a few quid, and if it didn’t, I wouldn’t lose much.

I did get disheartened though, because there was always one horse that let me down, sometimes two horses, so I was advised to try Scoop 6, which I discovered later, was just an expensive accumulator bet that required you select horses from specific race tracks, but it relied on the same principle - all horses had to win or place.

I got a kick out of it, and I found myself trying to prove that betting on horses had nothing to do with the form - the trainer, the Jockey, the odds, how old the horse was, how much the horse weighed, which meeting the horse was running at, whether it cold, raining or foggy, or whether the ground was flat, wet or dry - it was the luck of the draw, sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn’t.

I had a penchant for outsiders - I picked a 40/1 outsider and it won, and a couple of other horses won too, but I didn’t get anything because one horse let me down.

Some said: “If you did a Lucky 15, you would have got over £20 for that bet, becuase you would get paid even if one horse won.” It made sense - I then found myself betting £1.50 instead of 20p. Betting on the horses had become an activity that excited me on a Saturday afternoon, I could watch them run on Channel 4 - knowing that if a horse won or placed, I would get something.

I even found myself in the betting shop, but I didn’t like the feeling - there were no women there. I decided to open an online account. Seemed harmless enough – I put my debit card details in, and I would restrict myself to £5 per week – but I found my £5 wasn’t lasting very long and no matter how many times I told myself: “Sadie, you are not winning anything much with the Lucky 15, just revert to your 10p e.w.. Accumulator”. I would have every intention of putting on an Accumulator bet, but then thought: “supposing two them win and the others don’t come anywhere?” so I would put on the Lucky 15 and increased the each way accoumulator.

After a period of 2 months, I realised I had a problem,, because as soon as I got home, I went straight to the PC to put on a bet for the following day. Even though I wasn’t betting high amounts – I noticed the frequency and the desire to place a bet. Rather than deprive myself of the thrill, completely, I decided that I needed to revert to my accumulator and cut my losses. This is what I called responsible gambling.

I no longer put on a bet for more than 50p a day, and sometimes it’s only 20p a day, depending on whether I want to round off the balance, and I do it online. Each night I have the thrill of looking on line to see if I have won anything, and I do not feel angry at myself if I haven’t, because I have only forfeited 20p -50p so I don’t feel guilty either.

I use the knowledge of how addiction happens to be less judgemental of men in the betting shop. This experience has taught me that depending on the company you keep, your circumstances, your emotional needs, or level of willpower, anyone can be drawn into gambling, regardless of race, gender, religion or sexual orientation.

Gambling and addiction, is prevalent in our society whether it is a couple of quid on the lottery; entering competitions on the TV, playing bingo, or addicted to shopping, love, smoking, drinking drugs, sex, many of us gamble in one way or another or are addicted to something.

The urge to get something for nothing, is what drives gamblers; it’s what drives the hackers or anyone chasing a dream. And the yearn for ‘the thrill’ is what causes addiction.

3 I am sure you are familiar with the old adage “What

seems too good to be true, usually is”, well that adage applies to gambling - gamblers always be trying to get that big win, so they ‘re-invest’ small wins. The adrenalin

rush when they win, forces them to try to win again only bigger and better, and that is how they get hooked. The drive to get something for little or nothing, convinces them that it is possible because they have won before.

I am glad I had the self-restraint to curb it, even though I still enjoy the thrill that comes with it. I am lucky that I constantly monitor my behaviour, otherwise, I could have easily allowed it to get out of control, and become like many who gamble, not only their money away, but their families’ lives as well.

By F. Foxton (Sunbury on Thames)

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SOME ICONIC INDIVIDUALS WE LOST IN 2016 The New Year provokes memories of people we have lost, those who we have found, and those who we don’t want in our lives anymore. For now we will focus on some of the icons we have lost in 2016.

Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz (aka Fidel Castro) (13 August 1926 - 25 November 2016,

was a Cuban revolutionary and politician who governed the Republic of Cuba as Prime Minister from 1959 to 1976 and then as President from 1976 to 2008

Muhammad Ali (Jan. 17, 1942 – June 3, 2016)

Champion boxer Muhammad Ali, known as “The Greatest of All Time,” died at age 74 of respiratory complications. Ali achieved success as a heavyweight fighter and Olympic gold medalist, but he continues to be a role model for athletes who protest against Black oppression. The activist boxer refused to fight in the Vietnam War on religious grounds but also declared the Viet Cong were not the true enemies of Black people

Prince (June 7, 1958 – April 21, 2016)

A singer with a decades-long, boundary-defying career, Prince died at 57 of a drug overdose at his Paisley Park estate in Minnesota. Known as “The Purple One,” the singer earned massive success churning out hits like “Purple Rain,” “Kiss,” and “1999,” but Prince also was an activist. He believed Black lives matter and frequently spoke about Egyptian philosophy and historian Dr. John Henrik Clarke.

Prince also supported self-determination.

Billy Paul (Dec. 1, 1934 – April 24, 2016)

Best known for the single “Me and Mrs. Jones,” Billy Paul was 80 years old when he died and had been hospitalized following a recent pancreatic cancer diagnosis.

Maurice White (Dec. 19, 1941 – Feb. 3, 2016)

Maurice White, the founder of Earth, Wind and Fire, died in his sleep at age 74 after suffering from Parkinson’s disease. During his tenure with the funk-soul band, they sold over a 100 million 5

Actor Don Marshall, who played

records and churned out hits like “Reasons,” “September” and “Shining Star.” Aside from his work with the band, White carved out an impressive music career behind the scenes, coproducing and co-writing the hit, “Best of My Love” by The Emotions, a group he discovered.

Dan Erickson in “Land of the Giants” and starred in “Star Trek” died at 80 of natural causes.

Will Smith (July 4, 1981 – April 9, 2016)

Afeni Shakur (January 10, 1947 – May 2,

Retired New Orleans Saints defensive end Will Smith was shot and killed at 34 years old during a road rage incident. Smith spent his entire career with the Louisiana football team and earned a Super Bowl ring with them. In 2006, he became a Pro Bowler and was ranked fourth overall on the team with 67.5 career sacks. One month before his death, a panel elected Smith to the Saints Hall of Fame.

2016) Afeni Shakur, activist and mother of rapper Tupac Shakur, passed away at 69 of a heart attack.

The former Black Panther — who was arrested and charged with conspiracy to bomb New York City landmarks with other members before her charges were dropped in 1971 — continued to serve the Black community even after her time with the Panther Party ended. Shakur worked as a paralegal to save families from eviction. Until her death, Shakur managed her son’s estate after his 1996 murder, giving much of the funds to charity.

Phife Dawg (Nov. 20, 1970 – March 22,

2016) The sudden death of A Tribe Called Quest’s Phife Dawg at age 45 was attributed to complications from Type 2 diabetes. The group’s 1991 album “The Low End Theory” included the hit singles “Check the Rhime,” “Jazz (We’ve Got) Buggin’ Out” and “Scenario.”

Known as the Five-Foot Assassin, Phife Dawg was also known for his unique rhymes. He had such a lasting impact, his fans petitioned to have a New York park named after him.

Bill Nunn (Oct. 20, 1953 – Sept. 24, 2016)

Best known for his role as Radio Raheem in Spike Lee’s 1989 film “Do The Right Thing,” Bill Nunn died at age 62 after a long battle with leukemia. The actor went on to star in other Lee films like “Mo’ Better Blues” and also had notable roles in “New Jack City” and “Sister Act.” But his work wasn’t limited to movies as Nunn also expanded to the theater and opened the Bill Nunn Theatre Outreach Project in 2008 to inspire Black youth to participate in the trade.

Natalie Cole* (Feb. 6, 1950 – Dec. 31,

2015) Although Natalie Cole died on New Year’s Eve in 2015, her family did not disclose the news until January of this year. According to a statement, Cole died at age 65 of “complications from ongoing health issues.” The singer had a successful career after following in the footsteps of her famous father, Nat “King” Cole. A nine-time Grammy winner, Cole won Album and Record of the Year for her 1991 release, “Unforgettable… with Love,” which featured a posthumous duet of “Unforgettable” with her late father. Her other hits include “This Will Be” and “Our Love.”

Tommy Ford

(Sept. 5, 1964 – Oct. 12, 2016) Thomas Mikal Ford was 52 years old when he died after developing a blood clot and being placed on life support. The actor was best known for his work on the hit 1990s sitcom “Martin.” After the show ended, Ford continued acting on shows like “The Jamie Foxx Show” and “The Parkers” but also dove into motivational speaking and filmmaking. He completed work on a documentary called “Through My Lens, Art is Life” about bullying in the Black community and had several films in post-production at the time of his death.

Attrell Cordes

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(May 15, 1970 – June 17, 2016) Attrell Cordes, also known as Prince Be of the R&B group PM Dawn, passed away at age 45 of kidney failure. With his

brother Jarett, Cordes and PM Dawn achieved major success in the early ’90s. The single “Set Adrift on Memory Bliss” went to the top of the charts in 1991 pushing the album, “Of the Heart, of the Soul and of the Cross: The Utopian Experience” to gold status. PM Dawn’s ballad, “I’d Die Without You” from Eddie Murphy’s film “Boomerang” also achieved big success.

Baseball in the 1940s, died of natural causes at age 96.

Source: Extracted from www.atlanticblackstar.com

Dr. Frances Cress Welsing

(March 18, 1935 – Jan. 2, 2016) Psychiatrist and scholar Dr. Frances Cress Welsing died at 80 years old of a reported stroke she had days before. Touted as the Queen Mother of Black Consciousness, the author published major writings on racism, including “The Cress Theory of Color-Confrontation” and “The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors,” the latter of which stirred controversy for its views on whites feeling threatened by Black people. During her time on staff at Howard University, Welsing published “The Cress Theory of Color-Confrontation and Racism (White Supremacy),” which discussed global white supremacy that feeds oppression out of white fear.

Gloria Naylor (Jan. 25, 1950 – Sept. 28,

2016) Author Gloria Naylor, who wrote the critically acclaimed novel “The Women of Brewster Place,” died of heart failure at 66 years old.

George Nauflett (1932 – 2016)

Chemist and inventor George Nauflett, who had two dozen patents to his name, died in a house fire at age 84.

Monte Irvin (Feb. 25, 1919 – Jan. 11,

2016) Known as one of the Negro League’s best players, New York Giants outfielder Monte Irvin, who was on tap to integrate Major League

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Kevin Cruse knows you didn’t achieve your New Year’s resolutions in 2016. He says that confidently, even though he’s never met you, because research shows only 8% of people actually achieve them. So statistically, Kevin believes you didn’t.

He is now asking you if you want to

become one of those elite few, who actually achieve what they set out

to do, and if you need more mo-

tivation; or a special system?

What are the secrets?

Kendra Cherry has 10 tips for you!

TIPS FOR KEEPING YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS The start of a New Year is the perfect time to turn a new page, which is probably why so many people create New Year’s Resolutions. A new year often feels like a fresh start, a great opportunity to eliminate bad habits and establish new routines that will help you grow psychologically, emotion-

ally, socially, physically or intellectually. Of course, resolutions are much easier to make than to keep and by the end of January many of us have abandoned our resolve and settled back into our old patterns Choose a Specific, Realistic Goal Every year, millions of adults resolve to “lose weight” or “get in shape” during the next year. Instead of selecting such an ambiguous goal, focus on something more concrete that you can realistically set your sights on. For example, you might commit to losing 10 pounds or running a mini-marathon. Choosing a concrete, achievable goal also gives you the opportunity to plan exactly how you are going to accomplish your goal over the course of the year.

Pick Just One Resolution While you might have a long list of potential New Year’s Resolutions, Richard Wiseman, a professor of psychology at Hertfordshire University, suggests that you should pick just one and focus your energies on it rather than spreading yourself too thin among a number of different objectives.

Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute Planning is an essential part of achieving any goal. Experts suggest that you should spend some

time planning out how you will tackle a major behaviour change.

You can start by writing down your goal; making a list of things you might do to achieve that goal, and noting any obstacles that might stand in your way.

Start With Small Steps Taking on too much is a common reason why so many New Year’s Resolutions fail. Dramatically slashing calories, over-doing it at the gym, or radically altering your normal behaviour are sure-fire ways to derail your plans. Instead, focus on taking tiny steps that will ultimately help you reach your larger goal.

If you’ve resolved to run a marathon, start out by going for a jog two or three times a week. If you are trying to eat healthier, start by replacing some of your favourite junk foods with more nutritious foods. While it may seem like a slow start, these small changes make it easier to stick to your new habits and increase the likelihood of long-term success.

Avoid Repeating Past Failures Another strategy for keeping your New Year’s Resolution is to not make the exact same resolution year after year. “If people think they can do it they probably can, but if they’ve already tried and failed, their self-belief will be low,” explained Wiseman in an interview with The Guardian.

If you do choose to reach for the same goals you’ve tried for in the past, spend some time evaluating your previous results. Which strategies were the most effective? Which were the least effective? What has prevented you from keeping your resolution in past years? By changing your approach, you will be more likely to see real results this year.

Remember that Change Is a Process Those unhealthy habits that you are trying to change probably took years to develop, so how can you expect to change them in just a matter of days, weeks, or months? It may take longer than you would like to achieve your goals, but remember that this is not a race to the finish. Once you have made the commitment

to changing behaviour, it is something that you will continue to work on for the rest of your life.

Don’t Let Small Stumbles Bring You Down Encountering a setback is one of the most common reasons why people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions. If you suddenly relapse into a bad habit, don’t view it as a failure. The path toward your goal is not a straight one and there are always going to be challenges. Instead, view relapses as learning opportunities.

If you are keeping a resolution journal, write down important information about when the relapse occurred and what might have triggered it. By understanding the challenges you face, you will be better prepared to deal with them in the future.

Get Support from Your Friends and Family Yes, you’ve probably heard this advice a million times, but that is because the buddy system actually works. Having a solid support system can help you stay motivated. Explain what your goals are to your close friends or family and ask them to help you achieve your objectives. Better yet, enlist the help of others by joining a group that shares your goal.

Renew Your Motivation During the first days of a New Year’s Resolution, you will probably feel confident and highly motivated to reach your goal. Because you haven’t really faced any discomfort or temptation associated with changing your behaviour, making this change might seem all too easy.

After dealing with the reality of dragging yourself to the gym at 6 a.m. or gritting your teeth through headaches brought on by nicotine withdrawal, your motivation to keep your New Year’s Resolution will probably start to dwindle. When you face such moments, remind yourself of exactly why you are doing this. What do you have to gain by achieving your goal? Find sources of inspiration that will keep you going when times get tough.

Keep Working on Your Goals

By February, many people have lost that initial spark of motivation that they felt immediately after making their New Year’s Resolution. Keep that inspiration alive by continuing to work on your goals, even after facing setbacks. If your current approach is not working, re-evaluate your strategies and develop a new plan.

Consider keeping a resolution journal, where you can write or type about your successes and struggles. Write down the reasons why you are working toward your goal so that you can refer to them during times when you feel uninspired and unmoti-

vated. By sticking with it and working on your goal all year long, you can be one of the few able to say that you really did keep your New Year’s Resolution.

Source: https://www.verywell.com/how-to-keepyour-new-years-resolutions-2795719

References American Psychological Association. “Making Your New Year’s Resolution Stick.” http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/resolution.aspx The Guardian. http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2006/dec/29/ps ychology.uknews

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THE MILLENNIALS – BORN IN AN ERA OF DISSATISFACTION OR A CHEATED GENERATION? In 1987, even though Nintendo Gameboy was around £129 (equivalent to approximately £500 now), parents bought it for their children, believing that it would keep them occupied and happy. However, after forking out quite a lot of money, the recipients got dissatisfied and soon started speculating about the new and improved version.

While some preferred the Playstation when it came out in 1994 for just under £300, others opted for the Xbox, which had gone down in price in 2001, and retailed for around £250.

Despite how expensive the models were, over 84m Xboxes were sold, and 155m Playstations because consumers were constantly hungering for something more exciting and more powerful.

The developers of the Playstations/Xboxes designed and planned well – and were having a field day.

They allowed just enough time between versions to make consumers hungry for the next edition, thus inciting a thirst for dissatisfaction. The first version came out in 1994, Playstation 2 came out in March 2000, 6 years later Playstation 3 came out in 2006, and 8 years later Playstation 4 was released in 2014. In November 2016 (just two years later Playstation 4.5 was released – so no wonder why young people are not satisfied.

I was watching a video put out by ‘Vine Survivor’ on YouTube entitled ‘What is wrong with this Generation?. It examined 4 main reasons why the Millennials (those born 1984 and after) seemed dissatisfied and unhappy. Tom Bilyeu guest on the Vine Survivor programme, said Millennials are often accused of being narcissistic, lazy, entitled and selfinterested but he blamed it on Failed Parenting strategies (constantly telling the child s/he is special, or the opposite - telling the child s/he is a nuisance or unwanted).

Technology (addictive engagement with social media where they are unable to develop meaningful relationships because friendships were superficial and could not be relied on and Impatience (where society demands instant gratification, e.g. ‘next day delivery;’ buy now pay later) and the Environment (Institutions not teaching young people how to build confidence, learn the skills of cooperation, or the need to overcome the need for instant gratification).

Facebook user, David Brewster writes: My only issue with his [Tom Bilyeu’s] analysis is that he doesn’t mention the effect of the 2008 recession and a 15 year war in the Middle East on this generation’s world outlook. Those events affected the attitude of the millennial generation to a great extent, but he

doesn’t talk about them. Although the economy has recovered for the most part, slow job growth has forced millennials to settle for jobs that they may not be fulfilled by—something they value a great deal—and crippling student debt makes seeking education towards a better paying career impractical for some and even impossible for others. The increasing costs of education, both university and trade schools, can deter the pursuit of gaining skills that would aid in better jobs.

A few days ago I was standing in a queue at my local shop. I noticed an elderly lady glancing at my right hand that I had placed on the conveyor belt to support my weight and to subtlety indicate to the cashier I was getting impatient waiting in the queue.

It’s important not to expect immediate success, and to temper expectations of one’s influence in one’s job, but the recession has also stagnated the promotion process. Because of the recession many older workers are staying longer instead of retiring (because their retirement plans were damaged in the recession), delaying the promotion of millennial workers and thus delaying increases in salary or wages that can ease the burden of student debt and provide for stable families to be created. The general cost of living has increased at a steady rate since the 80’s, but the wage increase has not kept pace—the result is that a job that provided a comfortable living 30 years ago no longer can support such a lifestyle

She knitted her brows as if trying to figure out something. Feeling a bit uncomfortable under her scrutiny I moved my hands and placed them by my side. I could still feel her gaze following my hand. I wanted to escape but I was stuck in the middle of the queue waiting for the cashier to complete a price check on an item. I gently turned to my scrutiniser and smiled. She returned my smile and took it as an invitation to engage in conversation.

Justine Subocan argues that “millennials have lower rates of alcohol and drug use than any other previous generations;, they have the highest rates of secondary school graduation and post secondary graduation than any generation in history, yet they have the highest cost of living and lowest starting income. This guy [Tom Bilyeu} bemoans that a millennial wants to leave a job after 8 months if they’re not making an “impact,” so, he expects people to work as a mindless drone for a large corporation for the rest of their lives like their parents did? I’m sorry that technology brought around so many new and exciting ideas that are making cubicle work a thing of the past. Millennials aren’t entitled; they were born 10 feet in a hole and told to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Yet, they are still managing to find a way to make positive changes in the world despite having the worst job market and most expensive housing market ever to start in.

“Are you married?” she queried. Somewhat puzzled and taken aback, I naturally became defensive and asked her why she had asked.

She smiled and looked at my right hand and explained that the ring I was wearing looked like a wedding band but she also noticed it was on the wrong finger.

I smiled at her then decided to engage her in a bit more conversation. “How do you know it’s the wrong finger” I asked.

“Ask anyone here “she waved her arms to indicate the many choices I could select from, “They will tell you. We always wear wedding bands on the 4th finger of the left hand. Everyone knows that” She made her final statement with such surety, expecting no further disagreement from me.

What this entire “argument” boiled down to was that newer generations have technology that you didn’t have, so you call them lazy? Go back to riding your dinosaur”.

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“Who made that rule?” I continued with a wry smile.

“I don’t know “she replied impatiently. “It is just the rule” she added testily clearly becoming agitated.

GUT

I did not want to cause further distress so I lowered my voice, smiled and gently tried to explained to her that wearing the ring on the fourth finger on the left hand was her custom. In other countries (yes they do exist) such as Germany, the wedding ring is worn on the right hand.

Two very important lessons could be learnt from the simple conversation.

or PARANOIA

Firstly, many times we make the grand assumption that our way of doing things is the right way or the only way, without stopping to consider other options of perspectives. I clearly understand the need for order which is why “When I’m in Rome, I try to do as the Romans do!” but I’m wise enough to know there is always another way of seeing and doing things. Life is all a matter of perspectives and we all see things differently according to culture, background or beliefs.

WHEN YOU MEET SOMEONE?

Whether it’s your partner’s behaviour or a life decision on whether you should live together, if it feels comfortable, you don’t need to consult friends or fight it - just relax and accept it for what it is - you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Your instinct will tell you if what you are doing is not right paranoia will make you question everything.

Secondly, and most importantly, if you’re wrong in one place you can still be right in another.

Have you ever felt as if you could not do anything right?

Have you ever felt like you have never quite mastered the fashion trend or you don’t fit in regardless of how hard you tried? Have you ever felt like you are always wrong?

When it comes to romantic decisions, we can over think and over analyse which may lead to confusing the situation. We can often make poor, fear-based decisions when we don’t follow our initial instinct. We mull things over and often make decisions based out of fear of making the wrong decision, which in fact can lead you to making the wrong decision.

You smile when everyone expected you to cry? Walked when you should have waited? Stood still when you should have left or ran? We have all been there at some time.

I don’t know how many of your saw the video ‘red flag’ where there is a woman (and now a man) highlighting all the things that you should be wary of when entering a new relationship. A lot of the behaviours the person waving the red flag refers to, are things our gut instinct warns us about, but which we tend to ignore.

Don’t be too harsh on yourself. It may simply mean that you need to find the situation, location, occupation or relationship where the same things many thought was wrong was actually considered right. If you’re wrong somewhere, guaranteed you will be right somewhere else.

The world is a jigsaw puzzle with no extra pieces, try and find where you belong.

Vinette Hoffman-Jackson, Motivation Speaker/ Author

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We tend to rationalise it if they are not working with ‘we could be in a relationship for years, and your partner stops working – what is the difference?’ We make excuses for lack of generosity - s/he doesn’t have much money; why they don’t return calls they are probably busy, out with their friends, or fallen asleep; accepting a smoker when you don’t smoke - it’s not fair to change someone - need to accept them as they are; they don’t call you - that they are probably used to their routine, s/he has to get used to having someone in their life, or if they are constantly late - not everyone is punctual, maybe I am being too controlling.

In fact, according to a recent story in New Scientist, “it turns out that because our emotions emerge from our unconscious mind, from our internal supercomputer, they tend to reflect more information than our rational mind.”

What this means is our gut instinct can save us from a lot of grief.

Here are a few tips to help you get better acquainted with your gut:

1. Ask yourself a question and listen for the immediate answer. For example, if you’re debating whether or not to dump your boyfriend, ask yourself: “Should I break up with him?” and listen to what first pops into your head. The real answer will most often come first, then the excuses and justifications will pile on top.

Little is known to modern science of the true nature and origin of, and inter-relationship between, Instinct, Reason and Intuition. Modern psychology describes them to be epiphenomena of neurological functions. Theosophy, however, throws clear light on these three mysteries, and shows that in these three mysteries, and shows that in these are epitomized the whole science of evolution of the universe.

2. Make the decision and then listen to your body. If it’s a bad decision you’ll feel an aversion to it, usually in the pit of your stomach.

Instinct is a direct perception of what is right, within its own realm. Intuition is direct cognition of truth in all things. Reason is the balance between instinct and intuition. (The Friendly Philosopher, p. 263)

3. Check with a friend. It can help to get an outsider’s perspective, sometimes we can mistake wishful thinking for our gut instincts. Talk to a friend you trust for a dose of objectivity.

Instinct is manifested in all the lower kingdoms of nature as also in man; but in man it is more or less obscured by reason. Reason is a faculty exhibited only by human beings by virtue of the development of mind and brain. Intuition is the highest spiritual faculty, far above both reason and instinct, capable of being developed and exhibited by man alone, and which, when fully developed, illuminates reason and makes man perfect.

4. Practice mindfulness. Most people live their lives bouncing from one thing to the nextwork, social commitments, family time. There isn’t that much time to listen to our own thoughts. Try to stay mindful and conscious throughout the day, check in to see what you’re thinking and feeling. It also helps to set aside some reflection time. You can use this time to meditate, do yoga, journal, take a walk around the park–anything that will give you the space to check in with yourself.

Among the people who live close to nature, as the forest dwellers and tribes, instinct is active.

Hippocrates, the father of modern medicine, shows that the instinct of the first early races showed them the natural remedies for ailments.

Thus: We see what indicated the way to man to find relief for all his physical ailing. It is the instinct of the early races, when cold reason had not as yet obscured man’s inner vision....Its indications must never be disdained, for it is to instinct alone that we owe our first remedies. (Isis Unveiled, I, 434)

http://www.anewmode.com/dating-relationships/importance-trusting-gut-tips/

Note from the Editor

We know when something is right - however, because it doesn’t always make sense to us that we can make a judgement without evidence, we tend to refute it - i.e., we don’t trust our gut instinct.

In the tsunami disaster in India and South-East Asia in which thousands perished, most of the animals escaped. Elephants in forests, domestic animals and birds, sensed in advance the coming disaster and moved away to safer places, whereas man, with his superior faculty of reason, was taken unawares.

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http://www.teosofia.com/Mumbai/7509intuition.html

Desire (now known as Des-

Ayah)wants to positively aid in affecting change in his Jamaican society and the world with his music. He became an advocate for his people, writing and singing songs that dealt with current issues in society that he felt wasn’t getting the attention it ought to. He always says that he wants to ‘Build our communities and live positively while impacting change through music’. This soon led to the release of his Debut “5track” EP album under the label ‘Lion Zion Productions’. This album raised issues of poverty and suffering in the world and what we can do as a people to change it. Works were done with a myriad of Producers, from the likes of Frankie Music, Outta Road Records, Bobby Digital, Bonner Cornerstone and Debut Master Mix Productions. The EP singles, ‘Reggae Music will never die’, ‘One Room’, ‘World Peace’, ‘I just call’ and ‘Ananda Alert’ were the finished works of the project. The song ‘Ananda Alert’ has turned heads as it raised awareness of the little girl that was raped and killed in her community. Desire has since heard more about these kinds of crimes against children and felt compelled to share his take on the issue. The song has since been circulating on Social Media with the expectations of a video to debut in the near future.

Email: ladyloy@googlemail.com in mp3 format - stating the name of the reggae artist, the name of the track and country and check out her shows via:

The artiste Desire is a speaker of positivity. He aims to highlight the issues in his country and the world to hopefully impact some positive change. He aspires for his music to live on and become a voice for the people. Unity, Strength, Love and Mission are his passions. Join the Artiste Desire by helping him spread the message.

www.mixcloud.com/lady-loy

@artistedesire

DJ Lady Loy has gone Global Broadcasting out of the East of England on www.loversrockradio.com on Saturdays 12p - 2p (GMT); www.soufrierehillsradio.com on Sundays 5p - 7p (GMT) www.islandahradio.com on Sundays 10p - midnight (GMT)

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Lincoln Jean-Marie @ LincJeanMarie is a singer, songwriter, producer and Artist with Christian beliefs. He has sung and toured with George Michael,Robbie Williams and many others. To find out more, and download EP please visit www.lincolnjeanmarie.com

www.issuu.com/blackbrightnews @BlackbrightNews E: blackbrightnews@gmail.com