Tranquil symphony of confinement

2018

I’ve always wondered what happened to the rocks I threw into the water at the beach.”

This thought ran through my mind as I buried my hand in the sand to retrieve a smooth stone carved with the letters: SOS.

“Sauce? What a strange thing to write,” I murmured. Kneeling in the sand, I forced myself to stand straight up as my feet dug into the damp ground. I laughed as I threw the stone and counted to set my new record. I scanned the horizon, keeping an eye on the stone skidding above water. I closed my eyes and channeled the motions of the waters, each splash of the sea resonates the moment it goes farther.

“Woah! That’s a new record!” I squealed. As the rays of the summer sun basked my skin, I hummed to the beat of the waves hitting the hulls of the rickety broken down boat by the shore.

HONK! I shifted my gaze toward the approaching tinted sedan. Along the asphalt, a colony of black antique ants was marching. The rubber tires of the sedan hit a stone and launched it to the line, ants scurried aside. The vehicle came to a halt. Its window rolled down, revealing my parents.

“Are you ready to go?” My mother asked as I cast a sidelong glance.

“How about an ice cream when we get home?” My father lowered his gaze to check the rearview mirror, raising his eyebrows at me.

Quickly, I sat behind the passenger’s seat. Suddenly, I felt at ease as if the tranquil sea waves were lulling me to sleep. As my train of thought faded into the terrain of slumber, I only remembered the radio playing a classical song. It was either Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata or Bach’s Prelude in C major. Every minute or so, the fragrance of Mom’s aura lingered as a sweet scent you can almost taste. A whiff of the scent caused me to glance at her, yet I could only see blurry white light from her phone.

“Just close your eyes, honey. We’ll be home soon,” she promised. The coalescence of

Words by Bianca Jan Sibayan

cascading lights and rapid ambiance fills the voids left by the languor. Warm air embraces me, almost as if I’m at home.

Drifting to sleep, I entered into a state of dream. Waves carry me afloat in this seamless ocean under a thousand skies. From afar, a tune formed a recurrent rhythm. The strident tone came from behind me, making me lose my balance and sink into the fathomless waters. All at once, my eyes shot open to the ringing sirens outside. At the corner of my eye, I saw flashing crimson lights.

Oh no

I toppled over the matting and knocked over the kitchen chairs as I ran through the darkness to find my parents, which were illuminated by maroon lights. Tiny rocks thrown by neighbors shattered the windows. Adrenaline flushed over me as I dodged each rock that perforated the walls. When I arrived at the back door, my parents were packing our belongings and preparing to leave.

Dad carefully swung open the door, revealing blinding flashing lights. Our neighbors were dressed in royal blue clothing. Mom looked into my eyes and kneeled. With her left arm, she locked me into an embrace.

“Honey, I’m doing this because I love you.” She cradled the words in a honeyed tone.

“Drop your weapons!” Dad gestured and groaned at the neighbors belligerently. After the neighbors quietly laid down their weapons on the concrete floor, they slowly raised their hands to the sky. Mom dragged me out to the car while Dad followed us, carrying our luggage.

Suddenly, I heard an ear-splitting sound. A tiny rock pierced my mom’s shoulder, leaking scarlet liquid on my shirt. Mom prostrated on the frigid concrete. As I held her, crystal-clear liquid trickled down my face from the horror I had just seen. Dad’s eyes were clouded with despair. He, too, was struck on the shoulder and collapsed to the ground.

I wanted to flee from the scene but my knees seemed to be trembling, and my feet couldn’t move almost as if they were glued to the concrete floor. The neighbors, on the other hand, shackled them. As they were still bleeding, two neighbors picked them up and placed them inside the car. Two of our other neighbors held me captive while I couldn’t do anything else other than lash in anguish and grind my teeth.

2019, present

Within this enclosed chamber furnished with a hanging light bulb, two chairs, and a desk, I remain in solitude. Taking out my earphones, drowning out the white noise outside the enclosed space. I choose a tropical tune that always puts me at ease. As I close my eyes, I see the soothing waves of the sea palpitating at a steady and calm pace. A cool breeze sweeps, hushing the turmoil outdoors.

The creak of the door startles me. A lady in blue slacks and a white-cuffed shirt enters the quiet room. A silver badge adorns her right collar. She grins at me and motions for me to remove my earphones.

“Hello, Elysion. I hope you’re well. I’m Agatha from the Child Protection Center,” she said and extended her hand which I only looked at like it was a foreign thing. She withdraws her hand and begins to write notes, clearing her throat.

“Could you tell us what happened that night?” She queries in a concerted manner. It then becomes evident that this conversation is happening for the sake of tarnishing their reputation again. I need to brace myself. This is going to take a while.

“They took my family, knocked them to the ground, and seized them,” I stated as my eyes pierces through the notebook coldly. Such people like Agatha would be seeking my vulnerability to take advantage of it. I just need to keep up this act. At this point, I don’t know who to trust anymore.

“Did they ever hurt you?” She asks warmly. Her gaze softens as she places the pen at the side of her blue notebook. Momentarily, her palm hovers on top of my hand resting on the hardwood table. Although, I retreated my hand away from hers.

“No, they never did.” I winced, massaging my head. Like shattered glass fragments, events of that night flooded ever so suddenly.

Instantaneously, a metallic scent fills the cramped room. Cemented tiles lifted across the room, and they all began to spin in unison. From a confined interview room, my surroundings suddenly changed as if I had teleported. The ground is damp and trampled grass envelopes the soil, the splashes of crimson paint covering my hands. A chill went down my spine as the wind lifted the blanket of fog. Two bodies lie on the loam, one face upward and the other face down. Despite my efforts, they seem to move further away. A throbbing pain engulfs the entirety of my head and my vision began to double as a voice called out my name in the distance.

“Elysion! Elysion! Are you alright?”

Simultaneously, the silhouette of a woman forms in front of me. It was Agatha that caught me before I reached the cemented floor.

“Do you want to go to the clinic?” Agatha tried to assist me in gaining my balance, but I shoved her away. Gripping the hardwood table, I gather the strength to stand up.

Briefly, I recall the last time I visited the beach. I wonder what became of the rocks I’d thrown into the water. I just want to sit by the beach where serene sea waves would tickle my feet. I want to escape this trap.

“It was a difficult experience, but we’ll be here to support you,” she said, taking my hand in hers, which I tried to shake. I withdrew my hand and turned my back against her. It was a fleeting moment in time, and echoes of that one night linger in a separate corner of my mind, by which a box lies unopened.

Akin to the rocks I threw, I sit at the bottom of the water remaining in the sand where I am. Eventually, I’d be free like the waves in a symphony of tranquility.