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July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE MAGAZINE • JULY 18, 2013 • VOLUME 31 NUMBER 14

Photo By Lindsey Janies

contents

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50 28 WEEKEND ESCAPES: LAKE ARTHUR • Lake Arthur may be a small town. But there’s plenty to see and do there. Brad Goins reports. 35 MOST WANTED BURGERS • When you see one of these legendary burgers, reach out and dig in ... before some other burger hunter beats you to the draw. 47 READY FOR NEW CHALLENGES • Softball superstar Jenny Finch has conquered a host of athletic challenges. She was ready to conquer a few more as she prepared for the Aquafor Triathlon in New York. Lagniappe fills you in on how she got ready amnd how she did. 50 BUSINESS AND INDUSTRY • A special report looks at the ways in which the Port of Lake Charles is accommodating the business boom to come. Also, enjoy reports on the status of Wilkerson Tree Farm and a project to produce hand-crafted decorative tiles. 56 DOWNTOWN UPDATE • Lagniappe’s annual report on downtown development reveals a boom in new dining venues. Specialty hot dogs, New Orleans snow cones and cracklin’ tacos are just some of the draws.

Lagniappe Magazine Serving SWLA Since 1983

Publishers Bob Hartnett Greg Pavlovich Editor Brad Goins Associate Editor Karla Wall Assistant Laura Landry Layout & Design Mike Manis Advertising Sales Tanya Alsobrook Patty Hebert Chester Rogers Classified Manager Kenny Pierce Distribution Manager Edward Frazer Contributing Writers Jeremy Alford Dr. Dale Archer Duane Bergeron Angie Dilmore Todd Elliott Rocke Fournet Arthur Hebert John Maginnis Nola Mae Ross Rick Sarro Chuck Shepherd Vic Wukovits Office Phone (337) 433-8502 Office Fax (337) 433-8964 Mailing Address PO Box 3292 Lake Charles, LA 70602 Shipping Address 2906 Deaton Street Lake Charles, LA 70601 Editorial e-mail edit@thelanyap.com Advertising e-mail ads@thelanyap.com Classified e-mail class@thelanyap.com Lagniappe Magazine is published the first and third Thursday of each month. Manuscripts, photographs, comments and queries are invited. Return postage must accompany all materials submitted if return is requested. Publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials. Opinions presented by the columnists in this publication do not necessarily express the views ofLagniappe Magazine.

61 HIGH-SPIRITED BROTHERS • With Louisiana Spirits, two local brothers revitalized the country’s handcrafted rum industry and spawned an unprecedented opportunity.

departments 6 8 9 10 12 14

Up Front Box 3292 Reel Talk Pierre Sez Out & About Taking Charge

16 18 20 22 26 34

LA Politics News Roundup Weird News File 13 Political Notebook Tech Bytes

78 79 81 84 91

What's Happening Band Schedule Mounted Memories Classified Uncle P's Bedtime Stories July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

front I’m Fixing To Write This Here’s a question that ran in The Informer column of the American Press on page 3 of the July 3 edition. I quote it verbatim: “What is the status of us giving tanks and planes to Egypt? Are they still fixing to ship them, or have we backed out of it yet?” Is the Press fixing to run out of editors? If so, is it fixing to get more editors? If it would be of any help, I can inform the Press of some web sites its staff can go to to find editors. Since no one educated enough to know English grammar will teach in the newly devastated Louisiana schools, I think we journalists might pitch in and try to help the general public a little with English and grammar and so forth. Of course, we can’t do it without editors.

Nanny Nanny Boo Boo! I ain’t fixing to fix my bad grammar, and I say y’all shouldn’t fix it neither. And if them snobs in the rest of the country laugh at the way we talk, I say we should just laugh along with them and say, “Ha ha! The joke’s on you! You make a whole lot more money than I do! And I’m laughin’ all the way to the bank! Now jump back, sucka!”

If You Can Read This, You Can Vote The left-wing Supreme Court just decided there’s no longer any need to monitor southern states to see whether

they’re following the Voting Rights Act. I asked the registrar in Wagon Rut, and he said he thought the Supreme Court had made the right decision. “Look,” he said, “if a man who’s not white comes to me and says he wants to vote, and if he can show me a voter registration card and picture ID and all the forms of ID required by the Patriot Act and can prove he has a 12th grade education or the equivalent thereof and can prove he owns property and a house and a car and is gainfully employed and has never been in any trouble with John Law, then I have nothing in the world against him voting.” “What about women who aren’t white?” I asked. “I haven’t quite got that figured out yet,” he said. “But 2016 is a long way away. I’ve got some time.” Then he said, “Now I’m not prejudiced, but …” Unfortunately, we can’t print what he said next. The point he was trying to make was that while there may once have been some prejudice in this area it’s all gone now. I think any rational person who goes around and talks to people in these parts would have to agree with that. And what if we did wind up having big race riots in 2016 the way we used to after federal elections? I’m guessing there was never any race riot in Lake Charles. But where I grew up, in Chattanooga, we had them on a pretty regular basis. They weren’t nearly as bad as people made them out to be. Only a very few people were killed. Everybody got out of school. And having curfews and being forced to go inside when it got dark was kind of an exciting change from the routine. The main thing to keep in mind is that as a country, we really are continu-

ing to progress. We really are. I really believe that. Actually, I don’t believe that. But it’s important to me to write things that make my readers feel better. Does it work?

Back To The Past The practical effect of the Supreme Court decision is that it will put the southern states pretty much right where they were in the middle of the Civil Rights era. Activists all over the world are saying they’ll show up to monitor elections in the South. And a lot of these people don’t much care whether they get arrested and put in jail. And every time one is put in jail, there’s a lot of international news coverage. And, of course, the state where the arrest took place gets a lot of negative publicity. If you’re not old enough to remember the drill, you may be learning it pretty soon. It’s real easy at first.

Should We File A Missing Person Report?

speech. He made a funny when he told the Ponchatoula Rotary Club that he hadn’t seen Gov. Bobby Jindal in 18 months. Lots of people will react by saying something like, “That’s the very reason Jindal could never be elected senator.” But I wouldn’t start placing bets now. Sure, Jindal would have to regain 13 or 14 points. But politics is hard to predict. While I find Jindal’s performance as governor appalling, I admit he has some qualities that may enable him to win elections. He’s tenacious and can change course quickly when he has to. I think he might be hard to beat. As for Kennedy, he’s made no secret of the fact that he wants to be governor. He’ll have to hope that his endless stream of emails, speeches, alternative budget proposals and so forth has given him name recognition. Let’s face it, whoever our next governor is, one person he won’t be is Mr. Personality.

How Not To Be Spied On

I called a local doctor’s office on the morning of July 3 and was told the doctor would be leaving at noon because of July 4. Of course. That’s what I get for being naïve enough to think someone would be working in Southwest Louisiana the day before a holiday. It should be noted, though, there are a few people in Louisiana who work on July 2 … and even on July 3. These people are politicians. While everybody else was frantically shopping for July 4 brisket and Doritos and Bud Lite, state Treasurer John Kennedy was making at least one

I just got a certified letter from the NSA. It had all this stuff written at the top: NOTE: Restricted Special Intelligence LIMDIS Traffic Light Protocol: RED Maybe that means I shouldn’t have printed the letter here. But after mulling it over, I decided I should print it as a public service in the hope it may help us all better enable the U.S. government not to spy on us. Here’s the complete letter:

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LAGNIAPPE

July 18, 2013

Dear Mr. Bradley E. Goins: I am the NSA agent who has not been assigned to your case. I am writing you to provide you with some guidelines you can follow to make it easier for me not to spy on you. 1. Please note you have not been on Facebook in well over a year. It is important for every American citizen to engage in social networking. Social networking is one of your best ways to inform others about who your associates are and what you are doing with them. Facebook users love group shots. Impromptu cell phone shots are especially popular. 2. Almost all your tumblr posts are tagged as “experimental music” or “experimental art.” Many of the creative figures you mention are dead, and are therefore immediately eliminated as subjects who are not of interest for surveillance checks that are not ongoing. Your narrow range of tumblr interests indicates a negligence of knowledge about and participation in current world affairs. 3. Your Google search records show no evidence of your using the search terms “Al Qaeda” or “Taliban.” Also, you have failed to conduct any searches about countries with populations that are predominately Muslim. This, again, indicates a negligence of world affairs as well as an unnecessarily small pool of potential associates. 4. Our records show you have never sent a text message. This is a violation of The Patriot Act. 5. Your last twitter post, which was posted several months ago, I might ad, related to a Harvard Business Review debate about the relation of worker rewards to productivity. While these abstract issues can, at times, be amusing, they, again, indicate a lack of interest in and attention to current world affairs. Your persistent lack of participation in current

world affairs is a deplorable tendency on your part that I have noticed during the time I have not been conducting surveillance on your computer activity. As the agent not in charge of your case, I ask that you attend to the above matters so that I can more easily refrain from spying on your Internet activities, refrain from monitoring your communications and refrain from gathering information about your associates. Sincerely Yours, Name withheld by order of Presidential Directive 23-2009-IT

When People Deserve To Be Spied On Number of requests for government spying operations received by the U.S. Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court last year: 1,789. Number of requests for government spying operations approved by the U.S. Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court last year: 1,788. — Source: CNN And just what in the hell is the U.S. Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court? — Source: Brad Goins

Request For Information Can anyone recommend a web site that will tell me what a person should pack for a trip to Guantanamo Bay? I’m thinking goggles, maybe?

The News Here’s a selection from an actual email that was recently received in the Up Front offices: Good Afternoon Brad– Hilton Sandestin Beach Golf Resort & Spa in Destin, Fla. will be attempting to break the world record for most people buried in the sand simultaneously on July 3 at 8:30 am CT … While the ideal opportunity is to

have someone from Lagniappe Magazine visit the resort and cover and/or actually partake in the burying to help us break the record, we will also have b-roll available via FTP (instructions to follow) images and a release with all the details immediately after the event … Hope to hear from you soon, Lauren I’d love to go and “partake in the burying,” Lauren. Sounds like just really incredible fun. Unfortunately, I’m going to be too busy getting my b-rolls via FTP and instructions-to-follow images for the Kim’s new baby story. By the way, Lauren — you don’t have any idea who Kim is, do you?

If You Can’t Get A Script Out Of This … I know some people think certain horror movies pretty much lift the entire plot of previous horror movies then try to pass off the result as something new. Take, for example, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 16,012. Didn’t you think that one was pretty derivative? Anyway, some aspiring script writer should surely be able to wring an original plot out of the CBS headline I read on July 2: “JoAnn Nichols Found: Remains in wall of home ID’d as NY woman missing since ‘85” Here’s part of the story that followed: “A medical examiner in upstate New York says a skeleton found walledup in a basement full of junk has been identified as a first-grade teacher [JoAnn Nichols] reported missing by her husband more than 27 years ago … “[Her husband] James Nichols died of natural causes last December at the age of 82. Authorities say a contractor cleaning … debris out of the Nichols home in Poughkeepsie … found the bones in a sealed container behind a false basement wall.” That script should practically write itself. I’d write it, but I’m already writing the script for the next James Cameron movie because I’ve been promised $15 million cash up for it. I’m a little bummed that Cameron wants me to write an 800-page script. I think 700 should be more than enough.

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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PO Box 3292, Lake Charles, La 70602 • edit@thelanyap.com

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I wanted to comment on Brad Goins’ article in the July 4 edition of Lagniappe titled “On the Use of the Term ‘Liberal.’” Frankly, the only thing I have to add to what he wrote is “Exactly!” As someone who, as Goins put it, doesn’t listen to just talk radio and Fox News, I have found myself repeatedly at the end of a random “liberal” barb from friends/associates/complete strangers when I don’t toe the “conservative” line. I consider myself quite moderate, with conservative and liberal political opinions. The only thing I would differ with Goins on is the statement that SWLA is overwhelmingly anti-liberal. If you ask your run-of-the-mill SWLA Joe if he is liberal, he will probably say no. But if you actually delve into particular issues with this person, you will find that he is more “liberal” than he claims to be. One perfect example would be the issue you mention all the time: taxes. Ask anyone in SWLA if giving a 4-percent tax break to someone earning over $400,000 a year is more important than repairing the highways or improving schools in Calcasieu Parish, or funding a Veteran’s Hospital, and I can assure you that more times than not the person will give you the “liberal” answer. I have come to believe it’s all about how the questions are asked. Excellent column! Paul L. Lake Charles

In the July 4 issue of Lagniappe, there was an article called “On The Use Of The Term ‘Liberal.’” I wanted to compliment the writer. I work in Lake Charles and live in Texas. I see on a daily basis the attitude that Brad Goins wrote about in this article. In fact, I see it so much that often I find myself simply staying silent rather than risk saying something that would upset people around me. I have literally changed the way I carry on conversations because I feel like it could affect family and work. Kevin Long

I appreciated your piece in the new issue on being “liberal.” I moved here from Vermont 15 years ago. In Vermont, it’s perfectly normal to be a democrat. I was not prepared for the contempt in SWLA. I wasn’t accustomed to being in the minority, which I wouldn’t mind. But as you said, it seems people here take it personally, as if I’m a democrat for the sole purpose of insulting them. I have one friend who practically abandoned me as a friend when she discovered (while I was under the influence of two glasses of wine) that I was not a Republican. She was flabbergasted! But she got over it after the election. Anyway, I learned to keep my political feelings to myself, for the most part. And kudos to you for speaking out! Violet Jaron

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Pacific Rim Warner Brothers, Rated PG-13 If there is anything Hollywood likes to do, it’s to pay tribute to itself with productions that reflect some part of its heritage. Director Guillermo Del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, The Haunted Mansion) helmed the latest such effort. Pacific Rim pays homage to the “monster” cinema of the 1950s, when the discovery of nuclear weapons and the paranoia of the era inspired a lot of “B” style productions. A few of those actually became classics. Such films relied on special effect gimmicks such as stop motion photography and other techniques pioneered by Willis O’Brien (King Kong, 1933) and Ray Harryhausen (The Valley of Gwangi, 1969). While today’s computergenerated effects make these earlier films seem primitive, they did thrill the audiences of 60 years ago. Going in to screen Pacific Rim, I was expecting nothing more than a digital effects extravaganza, but I was pleasantly surprised to see some humanity among the pyrotechnics. In the near future, humanity is menaced by huge lizard-like creatures known as the Kaiju. Though originally from space, these creatures hid in the deepest parts of the ocean, waiting for the ideal time to attack. Since standard military weapons are useless against them, engi-

neers and technicians create the Jaegers, huge bipedal robots armed with a lot of firepower. It takes two pilots who are mentally linked to operate these robots. One such pilot is Raleigh Becket (Charlie Hunnam), who lost his brother in a botched attack on a Kaiju. Five years later, Becket is recruited by his former superior officer Stacker Pentecost (Idris Elba), to rejoin what’s left of the Jaeger team in Hong Kong. Becket is hesitant at first, but agrees. He meets Mako Mori (Rinko Kikuchi), a member of the restoration team working on the gigantic robots. After discovering there is more to Mori than just her intelligence, Becket is able to persuade Pentecost to let Mori become his new copilot. When a new species of the Kaiju attack Hong Kong, Becket and Mori must overcome their differences to join the remaining Jaeger pilots immediately. Their mission is to destroy the opening from the ocean depths to contain the Kaiju. If they fail, Earth is all but destroyed. The storyline is as simple as the plot summary. Pacific Rim is basically popcorn entertainment aimed at the lowest common denominator. There are no complicated subplots or complex overlays on the storyline. This is as plain and simple as it comes. Movies like this are

the simplest form of escapist entertainment. If you are looking for any kind of sophistication in this concept, forget it. There is none to be had. I am not surprised that the cast is filled with relative unknowns. Ron Perlman does have a minor role here. The real star is the special effects, delivered with stunning quality and believability by Industrial Light and Magic. ILM shows once again why it has been one of the best effects houses in Hollywood since Star Wars (1977). The atmosphere, backgrounds, digital set pieces and the robots themselves are of fantastic quality. There is no way that the opticals can fail to impress anyone viewing this film. And though I was expecting Pacific Rim to be all style and no substance, I discovered that Del Toro didn’t let that happen. Despite all the technology represented here, there are characters that stand out. That was a very pleasant surprise considering that movies of this caliber have actors who can’t perform in

front of a camera, or a cast that no one in the audience ever heard of. Either way, when one or both scenarios occur, the end result is that there’s no connection between the viewer and the characters. Therefore, instead of an audience pulling for the characters, the audience winds up saying “Who cares?” Pacific Rim is not just a salute to the 1950s era “creature” films. There are hints of Godzilla and the Japanese influence on such productions. But it doesn’t stop there. I also observed some elements of Transformers, Top Gun and a few other contemporary features mixed in the storyline. Del Toro has taken a long forgotten subgenre and breathed new life into it, with impressive results. For anyone who is looking for a two-hour-plus escape from reality, Pacific Rim provides the technology and fireworks to make that happen. This feature may not make the same money as Iron Man 3 or The Man of Steel, but in terms of simple and basic entertainment Pacific Rim delivers the goods.

July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

Crime, Crime …. Everywhere There’s Crime Lake Charles Police Chief Don Dixon recently released some radder scary numbers about youth crime in our area. Dixon sez durin’ de firs’ six months uf dis year, firearm crimes committed by youths in our area mo dan doubled. Durin’ de firs’ six months uf las’ year dar wuz 29 such crimes, an’ dis year dar wuz 73. Dixon blamed lack uf home life an’ drugs for dat. National statistics show dat de number one cause uf death among kids 14-24 iz shootin’. Dixon also pointed to de four killings we’ve had in de city dis year … all young men on young men. De chief pointed out dat mos’ uf de violence iz related to drugs. Speakin’ uf which, dar appears to be an epidemic uf meth labs in our area. My fran from Moss Bluff wuz pointin’ out to me dat mos’ uf de arrests wuz in West Calcasieu, whare I live. But den four people wuz arrested near First Baptist Church in Moss Bluff, an’ dat quieted her down for a few days. Den, West Cal was in de news again, wit’ 18 arrests in one day. Folks, de drug problem in dis area haz recently gotten bad, an’ what Chief Dixon wuz talkin’ about wit’ de youths will only get worse if de drug problem isn’t resolved. A buddy uf mine, L.J., sez it’s de same all over. Does dat make it OK in our nice communities? Mos’ uf de folks who live in SWLA are honest, hard-workin’ folks who observe de law. But den again, dar’s dat element … dat element dat makes you look over your shoulder any time you walk out in public. So we say, be careful and keep on de politicians to fight meth labs an’ udder drugs in our area. An’ in dat way, we’ll all be able to enjoy dis great part of our state we call Southwest Louisiana.

Lights At Cove Lane We sawed in de news dat at a recent Lake Charles City Council meetin’, day voted 400 grand to put up lights at Cove Lane. Members sed de city would only have to pay 10 percent, or 40 grand, and de res’ would come from state and feds. Now nuttin’ haz happened at Cove Lane yet except a few orange ribbons bein’ placed on de property. Puttin’ lights up now iz kinda like buyin’ a boat trailer before you have a boat an’ motor.

We Ain’t Heard De Last Uf Dis Az you no doubt sawed in de papers, de Boys Scouts have split from de local United Way, an’ are now on dar own. But considerin’ de community leaders on dat Boys Scouts board, me, I can assure you dat you haven’t heard de last uf dis. Jus’ like you vote wit’ your wallet when you don’t like a store or restaurant, some uf dem won’t give or will cut dar givin’ to United Way in years to come. An’ I know for a fact dat some folks in town … some board members an’ some not … have gotten togedder to make shore de local Boys Scouts iz taken care uf. Who will lose out in de long run on dis? De United Way. An’ dat iz sad, because dis coulda been avoided.

Three Medals To Deservin’ Individuals Recently, three Louisiana men gaddered at de White House to receive de National Medal of the Arts. One uf dem wuz Lake Charles native Tony Kushner, who, among udder tings, wrote de screenplay for de blockbuster movie Lincoln. We can’t tell you how big an honor dis is for Tony, a local boy who attended Lake Charles High. All uf us are extremely proud uf him. De udder two wuz Earnest Gaines from Oscar, which is near New Roads, who wrote several award-winning books, including The Autobiography of Miss Jane Pittman, an’ New Awlins native Allen Toussaint, who has written songs like “MotherIn-Law,” “Ride Yo Pony” and “Southern Nights” (written for Glen Campbell). All three uf dese guys are very deservin’, but we are a little prejudice toward Tony in Southwest Louisiana. 10

LAGNIAPPE

July 18, 2013

We Have Faith In Ronnie Az you have probably heard by now, dar will be no veto session to override some uf de cuts Gov. Jindal made to de budget. Now, radder dan grandstandin’ like some uf dem legislators like to do, state Sen. Ronnie Johns uf Sulphur announced he wuz workin’ wit’ de Dept. uf Health an’ Hospitals to find de money to help wit’ de NOW program. Dis program, New Opportunity Waiver, provides money for at-home care for de disabled. De money cut wuz $4 million for 200 additional slots for dis service. Ronnie, who sits on de Senate Finance Committee, will do what he can, az he always does an’ az he did for 16 years as a member uf de House. You can bet when all iz sed an’ done, he’ll have de money for dat NOW program. Dat’s de kinda legislators we have in dis area, folks: people who work not only for de good uf dar district, but for de good uf de whole state. Next time you see Ronnie or any udder member uf our legislative delegation, be shore to tank dem for all dar hard work.

Too Much Delay In Chennault Land Transfer If you’ve ever met Randy Robb, de director uf de Chennault International Airport Authority, you know he isn’t one to let de grass grow under hiz feet. An’ such is de case wit’ de transfer uf land from Chennault to Sowela to build a $20 million education center to train folks to work at de huge Sasol project dat’s comin’ our way. Dis wuz started in October uf las year, an’ de deal ain’t done yet, an’ Robb an’ lots uf udders are wonderin’ what de delays are. We trust dis will be done soon, an’ de folks will be moved out uf de Chennault Mobile Home park and construction will begin. Lots uf udder tings have improved at Sowela, but dis one will be de mac daddy uf dem all. An’ we know Robb ain’t gonna stop workin’ day an’ night until construction begins.

DeRosier Gets Much-Deserved Award Calcasieu Parish D.A. John DeRosier wuz recently named to de Louisiana Justice Hall uf Fame. Now folks, dis iz no small honor. Only five wuz recognized for dis award, an’ DeRosier wuz de only one from dis area. Durin’ de induction ceremony, DeRosier wuz pointed out for hiz work in organizin’ de Calcasieu Full Force Group to target DWI offenders. He also reestablished de Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner Program. In presentin’ de award, it wuz pointed out he had worked on de Fatal Vision program, where members uf his staff go to schools to show de effects uf impaired driving. DeRosier also serves as president uf de Louisiana District Attorneys Assoc. Way to go John.

Democratic Party Haz To Be Celebratin’ When de news came out dat Bobby Jindal wouldn’t be runnin’ against Mary Landrieu for de U.S. Senate, de National Democratic Party had to be makin’ cartwheels. Jindal, who hadn’t been doin’ too good in de state polls, recently sed dat he wuz in no way goin’ to run for de Senate seat, which had had de Republicans smellin’ blood. Jindal’s drop in de polls probably haz had sometin’ to do wit’ him havin’ de teachers, school employees an’ practically every udder group in dis state mad at him. Now it’s settled for Mary to worry about Congressman Bill Cassidy, who isn’t very well known in dis state. He’ll have a lot uf trouble raisin’ de money he’ll need to beat her. Rest assured she’ll have a boatload. So it looks like we’ll have six mo years uf Mary Landrieu. But in politics, especially in de great State uf Louisiana, tings can change. But for now, put your money on Mary.

Deep Taughts While Watchin’ John Besh On PBS 10) Now dat de Zimmerman trial is over, what will de news channels show? 9) How come every one uf dem news network folks pretends to be a lawyer? 8) When are day gonna move de Tuesday farmers market from de Cash ‘n’ Carry to de Civic Center? 7) Should I tell KPLC dat T. Claude wants a booth at dar Man Show so he can meet womens? 6) Will my mudder-in-law ever speak to me again since I forgot her birthday? 5) How come none uf dem reality shows about Louisiana show us in a positive way? 4) Iz Snookie trying for a new parish record for speedin’ tickets in a year? 3) Gaz is $3.25 one day, $3.33 de next day: don’t make no sense, do it? 2) How can Shaq call Houston a small town? 1) Iz de New Awlins Pelicans gonna do good now dat day have all dat talent an’ a new name?

Final Shot Lefty sez he went to three places to buy watermelons. He sez day wuz either axin’ $12 for a watermelon or sellin’ dem seedless kind. Lefty sez he’d radder eat lima beans dan eat dem tasteless seedless melons. Dat Lefty, he’s an expert on watermelons. Maybe Jindal haz a spot for him on de State Watermelon Boad. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate. July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

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This venue occupies the space that has housed restaurants ranging from Asian to gourmet sandwich. It has a huge menu. If is seems a bit familiar, that’s because it comes from Southeast Texas, like Joe’s and Tuscany. There are enough different dishes on the menu here, though, to make it interesting. The bad thing for me is that the cooks here seem to over-sauce their pasta. I haven’t reached the stage of wanting al dente pasta, but I have reached the stage of not wanting my pasta over-sauced. These days, I prefer having my pasta lightly sauced, with no overrun. Since there is pasta with virtually every dish here, it’s not good for me. If I don’t mention the pasta, you can assume it is over-sauced. My other problem with this place is that the red sauce is way too acidic for my taste. The meals here all start with a basket of garlic rolls, similar to the other Southeast Texas places. Since parking is at a premium, I usually just pass by to see if there’s a spot. I was lucky one day and found a spot, and went in for lunch. I started off with a spinach and egg soup, also called stracciatella. It’s similar to egg drop soup, however, the cooked egg strands clings to the spinach. I found it delicious, especially with the nice chicken broth it was in. Next, I tried a lunch special called chicken aristocrat: sautéed white meat chicken medallions topped with fried eggplant slices in a pink sauce (50/50 marinara and alfredo). The chicken was moist and tender, and the eggplant added an earthiness to it. I ended my meal with a decent piece of tiramisu. On my next visit, I was accompanied by my usual dining companion for dinner. With dinner items you not only get the rolls, but a nice green salad of leaf lettuces. I recommend the house dressing, which is basil tomato vinaigrette. We opted for a stuffed mushroom appetizer. We received crabmeat-stuffed medium mushrooms covered in pink sauce. They were good, although I prefer alfredo sauce. She ordered chicken sorrentini, which is similar to the Aristocrat (which she loves), except for the addition of mozzarella on top of the chicken and eggplant. It was prepared in a sherry wine sauce. I tasted it, and it was as delightful as my lunch dish. Those who

read my column know I love eggplant. I opted for an oven dish called eggplant rolatini: fried eggplant slices rolled up with a ricotta and spinach filling. They are placed in a baking dish and cooked in the marinara sauce topped with cheese — no pasta. The sauce that had been absorbed into the eggplant was okay, but the sauce around the dish was too acidic for me. The creaminess of the ricotta, the green taste of the spinach and the earthiness of the eggplant made for a delicious dish.

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I tried a lunch special called chicken aristocrat. The chicken was moist and tender, and the eggplant added an earthiness to it. I ended my meal with a decent piece of tiramisu.

On my next visit, I ordered the fried ravioli. It was over-fried, leaving hard pasta and a dried interior. Then I ordered what I thought was a no-brainer, linguini ali olio. It should have come to the table barely coated in the olive oil, and thickened with a little pasta water. Instead, I got a gloppy mess of pasta over-sauced with a thickened chicken broth and hunks of banana pepper. It was too disgusting to eat. A piece of Italian cream cake soothed me in the end. On my last visit, I started with tortellini soup, which, traditionally, is filled pasta cooked in a broth. Instead, I got minestrone soup with the tortellini added in. The St. Peter’s tilapia was excellent. The fish was cooked to perfection (flaky and moist) in a white wine sauce with mushrooms and canned artichoke hearts. The rather bland fish absorbed the wonderful sauce of earthy mushroom and artichoke flavor. As a bonus, the pasta was not over-sauced. It was delicious. It’s nice to know they have a few items I enjoy. You will have to make up your own mind whether this is a place for you. There is no wrong decision, just a matter of your taste. By the way, they do pizza also, but they start at a size that is meant for two or more.

MCNEESE SMALL BUSINESS SEMINAR The Louisiana Small Business Development Center at McNeese will offer a free seminar on starting and financing a small business Tuesday, July 23, 5-7:30 pm, in Room 122 of the Burton Business Center at McNeese. Topics will include business planning, sources of funding and small business resources. Pre-registration is requested. For more information or to register, contact the LSBDC at McNeese at 337-4755529 or visit LSBDC.MSU@lsbdc.org.

SASOL APPOINTS ENGINEERING, TECH PROVIDERS FOR NEW UNIT Sasol recently announced a series of engineering and technology provider appointments as it continues to advance front-end engineering and design of its ethane cracker and derivatives project in Westlake. Fluor Corporation is the main FEED contractor for the ethane cracker and derivatives project. Individual engineering services agreements for the development of basic engineering packages have been concluded with Toyo Engineering Corporation for the linear low density polyethylene (LLDPE) plant, Mitsui Engineering & Shipbuilding Co. for the low density polyethylene (LDPE) plant, and Samsung Engineering America for the ethylene oxide (EO) and mono-ethylene glycol (MEG) units. The technologies of Technip Stone & Webster Process Technology, ExxonMobil Chemical Technology Licensing, Univation Technologies, and Scientific Design Company, have been selected for the ethane cracker, LDPE, LLDPE and EO/ MEG processes, respectively. In addition, Sasol will use its own proprietary technologies for the Tetramerization, Ziegler alcohol and Guerbet alcohol units. Emerson Process management, a global business of Emerson, has been appointed as the main automation contractor for the project. Worley Parsons Ltd. has been contracted to support Sasolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own project execution team as part of an Integrated Project Management Team. Worley Parsonsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; systems, tools and local expertise will be used to enhance the Sasol team that is overseeing the project. The current project costs for the ethane cracker are estimated at between $5 billion and $7 billion. The final investment decision for the ethane cracker will be made in 2014, with operation to begin in 2017. The ethane cracker is designed to produce 1.5 million tons per year of ethylene. July 18, 2013

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TAKING CHARGE

dale archer, MD

She’s Shutting Out His Parents Dear Dr. Archer, After my wife and I returned from our honeymoon, we moved in with her parents, due to the fact that we don’t have enough income to live on our own. One month after we married, she became pregnant. We would visit my parents, but as time passed, we started seeing my parents less and less. Sometimes I’d want to go see them, but my wife would say she was too tired. Everything my parents told her regarding the pregnancy was wrong, while her parents’ advice was considered the best advice in the world. I started seeing my parents less and less. When they’d point this out, I’d tell them she was having a difficult pregnancy. To make things even worse, every time we did see my parents, my wife would find at least one thing my parents said that was not to her liking. And I’d be the one in the middle, trying to make things work out. Soon the baby was born, and oh my, a whole new hell was unleashed! Everything her parents said about the baby was the right thing to do, according to my wife. Everything my parents said was wrong. Her parents helped us with the baby, since we live with them. My wife saw this as the best solution. Whenever my parents came over to see the baby, my wife would always find something wrong. They wanted to take pictures of the baby with a flash. That was bad. They wanted to be all over the baby. That was bad. My parents wanted to have the baby at their house. She was too young. My parents stopped visiting my in-

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July 18, 2013

laws’ home, saying they’d wait until she was old enough to go out. That was fine with my wife! However, in the month and a half of our baby’s life, she has barely seen my parents 10 times. She’s almost two months old, and dad’s birthday is coming up. They’re making a family lunch, inviting just my siblings, my wife and baby and me. My wife doesn’t want our baby to go because, according to her, she is still too young. She says I can go alone, but I want the three of us to go as a family. My wife told me they were welcome to come to her parents’ home. I feel our baby is old enough to go to my parents’ home and for them to babysit her. My wife doesn’t agree. My wife is always making me feel like her family is better than mine. It seems every time we talk about my parents there’s a bad comment from her. If I defend my parents, I’m not defending our family. She has even told me I should leave and go with my family since clearly I see them as my family, rather than her and our child. The funny thing is, I love her, and I love my baby. To me, they’re my family. I have given up on seeing my parents, despite the short distance of our homes. All I want is to have a family relationship with my parents, my wife and my child. I want my baby to enjoy her paternal grandparents as much as she does her maternal ones. I’m tired of feeling I have to ignore what my parents say and blindly agree with my wife just to be fine with her. I never say anything bad about her parents. I let her be with them, even when I come home from work, even when I would love to have

time alone with my wife. I don’t feel my wife has the same attitude or feelings towards my parents as I have for hers. I’m at a loss as to what to do. Rod Dear Rod, The biggest problem here is that the two of you need to become a couple again, and it’s impossible right now because it’s your wife and her parents versus you. Living with parents is a complicated situation. Instead of turning to you for support, your wife is turning to her parents and leaving you out in the cold. The first thing to do is talk. Be respectful and polite, but tell her exactly how you feel. Tell here the two of you need to be the primary unit; otherwise the marriage will be a constant struggle. The longer things go on this way, the more complicated it’s going to become. The ultimate solution is for you two to find your own home. This would instantly put you on the same page. In the meantime, make the best of your circumstances. Don’t complain about things you cannot change, and change the things you can. Also, reconnect with your wife. Her parents can watch the baby while you go out on a date — say dinner or a movie. Strive to do this once a week, and bring a phone in case there is a problem. Your wife is a protective new mother, and the more you make her life easier, the better she will do. Don’t allow flashes in the baby’s face, and make sure everyone washes their hands before handling her. Always remember, better safe than sorry. The last thing you want to

hear from your wife is “I told you so.” I know this is a trying time, Rod, but it is what it is. You’re both living under her parents’ roof. As long as there’s animosity, there’s going to be a wedge. Suck it up, get along, and get your own place as quickly as possible. Good luck! Dr. Archer, I am a 57-year old married female with two adult children. I come from an abusive childhood, and jumped into abusive marriages. I’ve been married three times, maintaining my current marriage for 25 years. I’ve had years of therapy and have actually become a marriage family therapist myself. Currently, I remain in therapy to keep myself grounded so that I don’t experience too much cross transference with clients. My marriage has failed, yet I won’t leave due to my high religious convictions about divorce. I believe my husband has had and will continue to have adulterous affairs. He refuses couples’ counseling, and as much as I want to save the marriage, I can’t save it alone. I am on a second career. My first was 18 years as a deputy sheriff, a job I wound up having to medically retire from, leaving me depressed. My concern is that if I don’t leave a legacy to the world, then what purpose have I served? I have two daughters that are grown and busy in their own worlds. I have one sibling that is so busy he can barely take time to talk to me. I’m looking for a fresh opinion. Also, I am a devout believer in Jesus and daily speak in prayer with him. Sharon

Dear Sharon: You are experiencing a severe values conflict. You want a loving and healthy marriage, but continue to choose to maintain a relationship with a man who has a totally different idea about marriage. You are kind and helpful to others as a therapist, but you don’t want to follow the solution for your own problems. From what you write, it appears that your current husband wants a stay-athome, keep-your-mouth-shut wife. You can either accept his lifestyle or make the difficult decision to leave and pursue your own values. This doesn’t necessarily require divorce. The truth is, you have been unsuccessful in finding a healthy companion, and until you recognize why, you will continue to find yourself in destructive relationships, and the likelihood of living happily ever after is remote. I seriously doubt your religion would want you to endure a lifetime of marital suffering. We should live the best life we can, regardless of religious convictions. No one likes divorce, but sometimes divorce is necessary. Even the Bible allows for divorce, and states infidelity is a reason to end a marriage. Ultimately, however, your happiness, how you live your life and how you pave your future is entirely up to you. Every marriage will have its problems. Some should end, while others are worth fighting for. I urge you to consider Richard Bach’s words: “If we must lose a wife or husband when we live to our highest right, we lose an unhappy marriage as well, and we gain ourselves. But if a marriage is born between two already self-discovered, what a lovely adventure begins, hurricanes and all.” You had a rough beginning in life. Being an abused child often leaves many emotional scars and distorted ideas about relationships. It’s good that you continue your own therapy, but keep in mind all therapists are not created equal. If you haven’t been making progress in overcoming your self-defeating behaviors, then perhaps another therapist specializing in adult survivors of childhood abuse may give you another perspective. You still have a lot of life to yourself and now to make the most of your life. You won’t be good for others until you’re good for yourself. Good luck.

I’m not ready for it to change now. I want to remain a girl, not become a woman and not a mother now. Is this wrong? Marcia Dear Marcia, I think you are confusing your values and beliefs with those of your sister. Your own ambivalence about having children is being played out in your sister’s life. I don’t think everyone is programmed to be a parent. Having children is very different than raising children. Becoming a parent is a life changing event, requiring not only financial resources, but also the time and skills necessary to raise a child in a healthy way. I believe that one of the great mis-

takes someone can make is to have a child when they’re not able to provide a stable and supportive home environment. Your sister seems to be clear that now is not the time for her to have a child. I would urge you to tell your sister that you will support her in any decision she makes. After that, you need to stay out of it as much as possible. You can also tell your mother — once — that it is your sister’s choice and to stop harping on it. I repeat, it is no one’s decision except your sister’s and her husband’s. Your sister is not the only person hesitant to bring a child into today’s world. But, as Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future.” If your sister decides to have a child,

then be the best aunt you can be. Being involved in the child’s life will feed your maternal urges without adding all the responsibility. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to remain a girl and not become a mother. I urge you to only take that giant step when you’re one hundred percent sure you’re ready for that incredible responsibility. Good luck.

Dr. Dale Archer is a board certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana. He is a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs and the author of the New York Times best-selling book Better than Normal. Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.

Dear Dr. Archer, I have a dilemma. My sister was married four years ago and is quite happy. She is 38, and my mother is pressing her for grandchildren. Her husband would like children, too. However, I am not sure she wants to have the responsibility of being a mother now, if ever. She always says this world is so bad and asks how one can raise a child in today’s world. Plus, with their current financial situation, I don’t think they can afford children. It would be a shame to miss out on the beauty of bringing forth life, but while I tell her my own opinion, I certainly feel guilty that perhaps I should not advise her at all. But if I don’t speak my opinion, and she makes a mistake, what will I do? What should I say or do? Also, I fear that if she were to have a baby then I might want one myself. And then my life would change, and July 18, 2013

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LA POLITICS

john maginnis

Senate Race Busier Than Senate From the time congressional Republicans first targeted Sen. Mary Landrieu as the key to that party’s takeover of the Senate, their strategy has been to frame the 2014 election around major national issues on which the Democrats’ positions are out of step with red state Louisiana. The only problem with the plan to link her support to what the president and the Senate majority are doing is that they haven’t done anything in almost four years. And should defeating Landrieu enable Republicans to gain control of the upper chamber, prospects for turning their ideas into laws are very slim anyway. Historically, the final mid-term election of a president’s second term is a downer for his party, as voters put the brakes on the administration’s initiatives. Yet, Republicans, riding the tea party wave, did that already in 2010. With Republicans controlling the House and Democrats the Senate, and bipartisanship absent in both chambers, neither party stands to get its major legislation passed. With the American public seeing partisan gridlock as the operative condition of Washington, D.C., for the foreseeable future, the stakes and interest in the coming Senate races are lowered.

If Republicans run the table and turn six Senate seats for a majority of 51, the impact would be huge on committee chairmanships and office space, but slight in terms of legislation as long as the filibuster rule requires 60 votes to pass anything controversial.

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The only problem with the plan to link Landrieu's support to what the president and the Senate majority are doing is that they haven’t done anything in almost four years.

That could change fast if Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid follows through with his proposal to revise the rule to require only a simple majority to pass a bill or confirm a presidential appointment. In the past, the party in charge has held back from exercising the so-called “nuclear option” for fear of the scorched earth that would follow with every change in power. If the Democrats push that button now, confirmations could flow through the Senate, but administration bills would still die in the House.

Given voters’ sky-high frustration with Congress, 2014 would seem a fine time for a Republican outsider to challenge Landrieu. Instead, for the first time in four attempts to beat the Democrat, the Republicans’ leading candidate is a congressman, U.S. Rep. Bill Cassidy of Baton Rouge. (Other House Republicans have run against her, but were eliminated in primaries.) Cassidy fits the GOP’s strategic template of an experienced, well-versed official who can speak to the big national issues — whether immigration or taxation — that separate the congressional parties. Republicans are confident that Landrieu’s 2010 vote for the Affordable Care Act will hurt her once the law takes effect next year. But it remains to be seen whether Cassidy’s opposition to the expansion of Medicaid, in line with Gov. Bobby Jindal’s hard-line position, doesn’t hurt him more with the middle-of-the-road voters he needs. The larger problem for the congressman would be if, despite the GOP big thinkers, this race turns on who can do the most for Louisiana. On that score, Landrieu has a strong 17-year track record as evidenced by her support among parish officials, low-income residents and the business elite. Cassidy scored a recent coup on the

most pressing issue below I-10 — new federal flood insurance rates — when he attached an amendment to the Federal Emergency Management Agency funding bill to delay the sticker-shock increases. Landrieu was unable to do the same on the corresponding Senate bill. That puts her, as chairwoman of the subcommittee handling FEMA appropriations, in the awkward position of having to work the language of Cassidy’s amendment into the Senate bill. Cassidy’s success with his amendment levels the playing field for him on Landrieu’s legislative turf. Should the rate increases be delayed, she can’t take sole credit for saving home ownership in south Louisiana. Yet she still would be instrumental in guiding the relief bill through the Senate and into law. It’s called bipartisan cooperation; it’s a rare phenomenon in Washington these days, but just what concerned Louisiana homeowners, Democrats and Republicans alike, need from this Congress. There will be plenty of other issues and votes for the two opponents to cross swords on, but perhaps none that will have as much impact on ordinary lives. If the flood insurance rate increases are delayed and eventually scaled back, it would be fitting that the greatest good achieved this year by these two rivals gives neither bragging rights over the other.

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Charles and graduated from Lake Charles High School.

Sowela Workforce Dev. Programs Boost Rankings

LOCAL NEWS STORIES OF THE PAST TWO WEEKS Cameron Adds Six Firefighters Six people were recently hired to serve as firefighters for Cameron Parish Fire District 10. The six were chosen from a group of 18 applicants. Three are from Cameron. The new hires will take part in a sixmonth certification program in Lake Charles, starting Aug. 1. Once they are certified, two firefighters will rotate working five days each week. One will work out of the Johnson Bayou station, and the other will work at the Holly Beach station.

Copper Theft Still An Issue For Utility Companies Copper theft continues to be an issue for local utility companies. In two recent theft cases, someone climbed utility poles in Reeves and Dry Creek to steal copper. The thefts were similar to others that occurred more than a year ago in the Kinder, Dry Creek and Sugartown areas. BECi suffered $219,000 in copper theft in 2012, and $149,000 in 2011, Kay

Fox, vice president of marketing and member services, said. Fox said it is a nationwide problem for utility companies “because of the risk to the linemen, public and thieves themselves.” Chip Arnould, Entergy spokesman, said he could not provide dollar amounts for copper thefts, but that it was an issue Entergy is also forced to deal with. While theft of copper is a crime, under Louisiana law so is theft of utility property, which is punishable by between two to 10 years in prison or a fine of up to $10,000, or both. Copper theft over $1,000 carries a punishment of between five and 10 years in prison or a fine of up to $5,000, or both.

CPPJ Dist. 8 Working on Road and Sewer Projects District 8 Calcasieu Parish Police Juror Guy Brame said he is working with state and parish officials on several road projects, including an extension of Ham Reid Road from its intersection with Elliot Road west to Big Lake Road. Brame said he is working with Tim

Conner, the parish’s engineer, along with Conner’s staff, to acquire right-of-ways for the project. Brame said he is working with the state Department of Transportation and Development on two other road improvement projects within his district. They include adding more lanes on Big Lake Road from its intersection with Country Club Road south to Gauthier Road, and on Country Club Road from Nelson Road west to Big Lake Road.

Kushner Receives Medal Of The Arts Former Lake Charles resident Tony Kushner recently received the National Medal of the Arts award in a ceremony at the White House. Three Louisianians, including Kushner, were in the group honored at the ceremony. The group also included movie producer George Lucas, Broadway writer-director and star Elaine May, and soprano Renée Fleming. Kushner, whose play “Angels in America” won the Pulitzer Prize, is a native of New York, but grew up in Lake

Two key workforce development services provided by Sowela Technical Community College have retained and raised their national rankings in an annual top 100 index. Sowela ranks 18th in the nation for the number of engineering technology graduates, and 29th in the country for the number of two-year certificates earned by students. The rankings of the “Community College Top 100 Producers” are compiled annually by the education journal Community College Week. Sowela’s ratings were announced in the journal’s June edition. The ratings represent a jump from last year’s national rankings, when Sowela was 24th in engineering technology graduates and 45th in awarding two-year certificates, according to Randy Jolly, Sowela’s executive director of institutional advancement. It is the fourth consecutive year the process technology program ranked in the top 25 for engineering technology graduates.

Sabine NWR Grass Fire Burns 295 Acres A grass fire in the Sabine National Wildlife Refuge south of Hackberry burned about 295 acres. The fire began on a Monday, and was out by Tuesday. According to refuge officials, the fire was probably started by a person — perhaps by a driver flipping a cigarette out of the window on La. 27.

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July 18, 2013

WEIRD NEWS

chuck shepherd • illustrations by felix falgoust

Shave My Eyes, Please “clearer” after the treatment. A local hospital official said eye-shaving can scrape away scar tissue and stimulate the eyes to lubricate the eye sockets.

Latest Religious Messages

Chengdu, China, barber Liu Deyuan, 53, is one of the few who still provide traditional “eye-shaving.” He holds the eye open and runs a razor across the lids’ inner surfaces. Then, using a thin metal rod with a round tip, he gently massages the inside of each lid. Liu told a reporter for the Chengdu Business Daily in April that he’d never had an accident. (The reporter couldn’t be enticed to experience the treatment himself, preferring merely to observe). A highly satisfied customer reported that his eyes felt “moist” and his vision was

LAGNIAPPE

July 18, 2013

— A Saudi judge ruled in April that it was finally time for Ali al-Khawahir, 24, to suffer for stabbing a boy in the back when Ali was 14. The victim was paralyzed. Under Saudi justice, Ali must also be struck with paralysis or else must raise the $260,000 to compensate the victim. — Saudi cleric Abdullah Mohamed alDaoud in May urged his 100,000 Twitter followers to “sexually harass female cashiers” to discourage them from working outside the home. He’s the one who urged in February that babies be veiled to protect them from sexual harassment. — Crystal McVea, author of a recent book chronicling her near-death experience, told a Fox & Friends TV host in April that among her most vivid memories of the incident was getting so close to God that she could “smell” him. — In May, Anna Pierre, a candidate for mayor of North Miami, Fla., announced on her Facebook page that she had secured the endorsement of Jesus Christ. That would be fortunate for

her, since a month earlier, she had complained that people had been leaving bad-luck Vodou-ritual feathers, food scraps and candles on her doorstep. Jesus’ stroke wasn’t enough. She finished seventh in the race. — A catering company in Leicestershire, England, became a holy site in May after the Hindu owner found an eggplant that he thought resembled the elephant-headed Lord Ganesh. He said he prays to it twice daily and has welcomed 80 other worshippers. — As part of his recent U.S. tour, the Dalai Lama, who was introduced to a University of Maryland audience by Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley, greeted the governor on stage by rubbing noses with him.

ages in America, GM asserted, 88 would fail the IWG standards, and if everyone in America started following the health recommendations, General Mills would lose $503 billion per year in sales.

Cultural Diversity One of April’s most popular Internet images consisted of face shots of the current 20 contestants for Miss South Korea that revealed that all 20 appeared eerily similar and had a Westernized appearance. Commented one blogger, “Korea’s plastic surgery mayhem is finally converging on the same face.” Wrote a

Perspective Congress established the Interagency Working Group (IWG) in 2009 to set guidelines for advertising healthy foods for children. Public comments on the guidelines are now being posted. General Mills appeared among the companies most alarmed by the IWG proposals, according to its comments on the Federal Trade Commission website (as disclosed by Scientific American in May). Of the 100 most commonly consumed foods and bever-

South Korean commentator, “Girls here consider eye surgery just like using makeup.” Wrote another, “I loved this episode of the Twilight Zone.” The country has the highest rate of cosmetic surgery per capita in the world.

A Whale Of A Dog Treat Michinoku Farm of Tokyo finally agreed in May to withdraw its whale meat dog chews, but only after angering environmentalists for having favored the country’s pampered canines over endangered North Atlantic fin whales, which

bionic sphincter that opens and closes by means of a remote control. Ged Galvin endured 13 surgeries in a 13-week hospital stay. He grew frustrated with using a colostomy bag. Surgeon Norman Williams of the Royal London Hospital proposed the imaginative operation. Williams, who was interviewed along with Galvin for London’s Daily Mail, wrapped a muscle transplanted from Galvin’s leg around the sphincter and attached electrodes to tighten or loosen its grip.

Questionable Judgments — Expectant North Carolina parents Adam and Heather Barrington have disclosed they will accept underwater midwifing from the Sirius Institute of Pahoa, Hawaii, which arranges for the mother to

swim with dolphins before and after she gives birth. “It’s about reconnecting as humans with the dolphins so we can ... learn from one another,” said Heather. Said Adam: “Dolphins are very intelligent and healing, which ... calms mother and baby. ...” Biologists writing for the Discovery Channel, however, reminded readers that underwater births are extraordinarily dangerous, and that dolphins are “wild animals” that gang-rape female dolphins and “toss, beat and kill small porpoises.” Said another, the Barringtons’ plan is “possibly the worst idea ever.” — Washington, D.C., began registering its dogs this year according to their breeds. Faced with many owners who claimed not to know their dog’s breed, the city of Washington settled on

the Mexican hairless dog, or “xoloitzcuintli” (pronounced “show-loweats-QUEENT-lee”) as the breed that will be listed in city records for those dogs. An official said the decision might encourage owners to learn more about their dog’s breed. — The restaurant Bacon Bacon was shut down in May by the city of San Francisco because of neighbors’ complaints about the smell. The fragrance of bacon is, of course, widely experienced across America. A petition to overturn the ruling was underway at press time. — More than 50 Iowa sex offenders have open-carry gun permits. A 2-yearold state law requires sheriffs to demonstrate probable cause that a sex offender will use a gun illegally if his gun application is to be rejected.

were the source of the chews. The meat was purchased from Iceland, which openly defies the international moratorium on whale meat. Japan officially disagrees with world consensus about which species are endangered.

Least Competent Criminals Dennis Gholston, 45, who had outstanding traffic warrants in Pennsylvania, decided in May that even though he was alone in his car, he couldn’t resist using a high-occupancy vehicle lane (HOV) on the New Jersey Turnpike near Carteret. According to the officer who stopped him for the HOV violation, Gholston was hauling $4,000 worth of heroin in the car. He was charged with intent to distribute.

Wedded Bliss An initiative in the Sehore district of India’s Madhya Pradesh state that encourages marriage awards gifts and financial assistance to couples who agree to wed in mass ceremonies. But because the country suffers from a notorious toilet shortage, the district announced in May that to qualify for the government benefits, the groom must submit to officials a photo of himself beside his own toilet to prove that he and his wife will have home sanitation.

A News Of The Weird Classic A 55-year-old British man whose bowel was ruptured in a catastrophic traffic accident was fitted in 2009 with a July 18, 2013

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brad goins

Nonsense Dialogues In the film, the timid British Minister for Internal Development, Simon Foster, has said on a TV program that “war is unforeseeable.” The furious British Communications Director Malcolm Tucker confronts Foster, whom he confuses of failing to follow the government line.

Let’s begin our brief visit to the world of nonsense dialogues by considering a dialogue that’s absurd but not at all nonsensical. The dialogue comes from the famous scene in the Monty Python movie Life Of Brian when Brian finally has a chance to address his followers and try to convince them he’s not the messiah: Brian: I’ve got one or two things to say. The Crowd: Tell us. Tell us both of them. Brian: Look, you’ve got it all wrong. You don’t need to follow me. You don’t need to follow anybody! You’ve got to think for yourselves. You’re all individuals! Crowd: Yes, we’re all individuals! Brian: You’re all different! Crowd: Yes, we’re all different! Single follower: I’m not. Brian: You’ve all got to work it out for yourselves! Crowd: Yes! We’ve got to work it out for ourselves! Brian: Exactly! Crowd: Tell us more! Brian: No! That’s the point! Don’t let anyone tell you what to do! Monty Python was certainly not satirizing the times of Jesus as much as our

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time, when the cult of individuality is pervasive. The joke, of course, is that masses of people use identical, conformist phrases to assert their individuality. The conformity of language about individuality, along with the failure to understand what the language means, reminds the viewer of the absurdity of a world in which individuality is universally proclaimed; is accepted as a given; and is rarely experienced. So, the situation is absurd. But does

the language make sense? It does. When Brian says, “You’ve all got to work it out for yourselves,” we may agree, disagree or be indifferent, but we all know what he means. Now let’s enjoy a couple of absurd dialogues that add just a little nonsense language to the mix. We’ll draw from the movie In The Loop, the wickedly witty BBC satire of the invasion of Iraq by the “Coalition of the Willing.”

Simon: Are you saying I’m now no longer allowed to make media appearances? Malcolm: Correct. Not until we can trust you to keep the line. Simon: I was going to keep to the line. I was going to say, “I don’t think war is unforeseeable ...” Malcolm: What is it, then? Simon: I dunno. Foreseeable? Malcolm: No. No! Not foreseeable. That’s [dirty word] declaring war. Do you want to [dirty word] declare war? Simon: I’m a Cabinet minister. I didn’t get here by screwing up every media appearance I ever had. Malcolm: Write this down. It’s neither foreseeable nor unforeseeable. Simon: Right, so not inevitable, but not... Malcolm: You’d better walk on this [dirty word] line. Simon: ... evitable. The government’s official line is that it

neither supports nor opposes the war. (In fact, the government supports the war but won’t say so.) Simon isn’t quite bright enough to wrap his head around the notion that neither opposing nor supporting can be a government line. In his efforts to comprehend the situation, he ventures into the land of nonsense language as he generates the word “evitable.” His confusion is expressed as nonsense. Simon opposes the war but doesn’t have the backbone to come out and say so. So he uses the absurd strategy of expressing support for the war in some circles and opposition in others. This has half of Washington thinking he’s a war hawk and half thinking he’ll resign if there’s an invasion. Simon again veers into nonsense language as he struggles to grasp such an absurd situation (and this time an absurd situation of his own making). Here he makes a futile effort to explain his nonposition to two opponents of the war.

first three we looked at. But notice that the fact that there’s a sensible (if stupid) explanation for the language doesn’t keep the language from being nonsense. Nor does the fact that the language is more or less standard English keep it from being nonsense. Next is a monologue that is, if possible, even more nonsensical than the words of the stepbrothers. The monologue comes from the “The Duel” episode of the fifth season of the TV show The Office. David Wallace has invited the inept boss Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell) to the company’s central office to explain how it is that sales have gone up in Scott’s office. Scott, glowing from a surge of intense vanity, spews out this beautiful stream of pristine gibberish:

David, here it is. My philosophy is basically this: and this is something that I live by, and I always have, and I always will. Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you’ve been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever. Sometimes I’ll start a sentence, and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation. Some might try to find a germ of sense in that nonsense. If we could reduce it to the statement “don’t ever do anything to anyone,” we would at least have a statement

that made sense. On the other hand, that doesn’t seem like a statement that would have any relation to strong sales. But notice that with the appearance of the words “or who,” we can no longer parse the sentence; that is, we can no longer put it in a diagram, as we did in elementary school. The sentence has become grammatically incoherent. With the words “or who,” the sentence veers off into the domain of absolute nonsense that’s no longer amenable to everyday analysis. Scott’s ridiculous closing words, which hint that on some level he knows he’s making up nonsense language, and which close with the nonsense coinage “improversation,” are just humorous gravy for the babble. (I guess it should go without continued

U.S. Lt. Gen. George Miller: So you’re not resigning [if there’s an invasion]? U.S. Asst. Secretary of State Clarke: Are you still playing the hawk? Foster: Well, in a way I’m playing a much cleverer game than that ... I’m a fake hawk. Miller: [pause] A what? Foster: ... Fake hawk? Miller: [pause] You’re an idiot. Or are you a ... fake idiot? At first Miller is taken aback by the nonsense phrase “fake hawk.” But he recovers quickly and delivers a withering mockery of Foster’s gibberish with the phrase “fake idiot.” Now let’s go for a movie dialogue that’s mainly nonsense. It’s from the comedy Stepbrothers. The two protagonists have showed up at the same time for an interview for a single job opening. Will Ferrell: And, human resources lady... Interviewer: Actually, it’s Pam. Ferrell: I’m sorry. Well, Pan... Interviewer: No, my name is Pam. Ferrell: Are you saying Pan or Pam? Interviewer: I’m saying Pam. John C. Riley (coming out of hiding): Hello, Ms. Lady. I’m Dale. I’m Brennan’s stepbrother, and I think I might be able to help with the Pan-Pam dilemma. Ferrell: Yeah, that’d be great. Interviewer: Pam. Ferrell: Pan. Interviewer: Pam. Ferrell: Pand. There’s a D on the end. Riley: With an M. Interviewer: There’s no D. It’s Pam. Riley: It’s like “comb,” except P-AN-M. Ferrell: N-N. There’s two Ns. Riley: Two Ms. That was the confusion. Interviewer: No, there’s just one M. There is at least a sensible explanation for this nonsense. We can easily see that the Ferrell and Riley characters are trying to annoy the interviewer. They both know perfectly well her name is Pam; there’s no “Pan-Pam dilemma.” As ridiculous as the situation is, it’s actually less absurd than the July 18, 2013

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saying that the senselessness of Scott’s language is a tremendous disappointment for the boss.) Let’s conclude with one of the best known nonsense dialogues. It comes from another Monty Python film: Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It’s the well-known scene in which the king gives two guards what should be a simple order: keep my son in his room until I come and tell you otherwise. The King: Make sure the prince doesn’t leave this room until I come and get him. (The king tries to leave the room.) Guard 1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him. King: No, no. UNTIL I come and get him. Guard 1: Until you come and get him, we’re not to enter the room. King: No no. You stay in the room, and make sure HE doesn’t leave. Guard 1: And you’ll come and get him. Right. We don’t need to do anything apart from just stop him entering the room. King: No, no. Leaving the room.

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Guard 1: Leaving the room, yes. King: All right? Guard 1: Right. Oh, if, uhh … King: Look it’s quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure he doesn’t leave the room, all right? Guard 1: Oh, I remember … Uhh, can he leave the room with us? King: No. No, no! You just keep him in here and make sure ... Guard 1: Oh yes, we’ll keep him in here, obviously. But if he had to leave, and we went with him ... King: No, wait, just keep him in here. Guard 1: Until you or anyone else … King: No, not anyone else … just me. Guard 1: Just you. King: Get back. Guard 1: Get back. King: Right? Guard 1: Right. We’ll stay here until you get back … King: And, uh, make sure he doesn’t leave. Guard 1: What? King: Make sure he doesn’t leave.

Guard 1: The prince? King: Yes, make sure he doesn’t leave. Guard 1: Oh, yes of course. I thought you meant him! [Meaning, I thought you meant make sure the other guard doesn’t leave.] You know it seemed a bit daft me having to guard him when he’s a guard. King: Is that clear? Guard 1: Oh quite clear! No problems. King: Right. (All try to leave at once.) King: Where are you going? Guard 1: We’re coming with you. King: No, no. I want you to stay here and make sure HE doesn’t leave! Guard 1: Oh, I see, right. The explanation the viewer is given for this language is that the guards are drunk. But I suspect this explanation is given solely to keep the plot moving and won’t begin to explain the idiocy in the dialogue. (The members of Python claimed the dialogue was improvised on the spot.) Is there a sort of drunkenness that would produce this kind of humorous language?

Would we expect a dead drunk person to say such things as “oh, yes, we’ll keep him in here, obviously” and “Oh, quite clear!” Are the guards trying to provoke the king? We wouldn’t expect medieval guards to engage in the suicidal behavior of intentionally provoking the king. If the guards are, somehow, both simply morons, we are, again, at a loss to explain the complexity of Guard 1’s language. My guess is that in this case, the situation is as nonsensical as the dialogue that comes out of it. Although I can’t be sure, my guess is that intentional nonsense largely defies analysis. That might be for the best. But why pay attention to nonsense at all? One of the values of some nonsense language is that it can give us intensely pleasurable diversion. There are other values. As much as I loathe the cliché “life lessons,” I see that good nonsense gives us a couple of them. It shows us that things don’t have to make sense and that what doesn’t make sense can be as beautiful as anything else. Both lessons are valuable tools in making the world comprehensible, manageable, bearable and enjoyable.

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john maginnis Money In Senate Race Opens Up The two leading candidates in next year’s U.S. Senate race are currently holding more than $8 million collectively in their campaign war chests. That’s setting up the contest between incumbent Sen. Mary Landrieu and Congressman Bill Cassidy to possibly be Louisiana’s most expensive Senate race ever. But, as he does on most other issues related to Bayou State politics, Gov. Bobby Jindal remains a factor. On the heels of mounting speculation, the governor told the Associated Press he would not be entering the fray. “Absolutely not, emphatically no,” Jindal said. Baton Rouge pollster Bernie Pinsonat said Jindal’s decision could “probably, to some degree,” help free up new donations for fellow Republican Cassidy. But Cassidy, whose political base is the Baton Rouge region, still has to make significant inroads with the far right of the GOP, which he has never been forced to do as a congressman. “The religious right is certainly something he has to worry about, but time will take care of that unless they can come up with a candidate,” Pinsonat said. “But he’s a sitting congressman, and that gives him a leg up. If the religious right does find a challenger fast, that alternative candidate is still going to need to raise $5 million or $6 million in a hurry, which will be difficult to do.” Landrieu, a New Orleans Democrat, will soon report to the Federal Election

jeremy alford

Commission that she raised $1.67 million during the second quarter, bringing her cash on hand to more than $4.86 million — $2 million greater than what she had in the bank at this point during her last reelection. Cassidy brings up the rear with $1.1 million raised during the last quarter and $3.2 million cash on hand. As for a historical perspective, the last time Sen. David Vitter, a Metairie Republican, faced re-election in 2010, he had raised and banked practically the same amount during the second quarter of the previous year.

Quotes From The Quorum “Texas is five and a half times bigger than Louisiana, but we’re 10 and a half times more interesting than they are.” — Treasurer John Kennedy, to the Ponchatoula Rotary Club.

speaker,” Leger said. While Leger still has to navigate the final two regular sessions in the current term and secure re-election, sources tell LaPolitics that he has also been shopping around the idea of running for attorney general in 2015, which is when lawmakers will share the ballot. “Certainly I’ve talked to people about that race and others,” Leger said, “but right now I’m really enjoying my

{

“This is Louisiana, after all. A big foreign company with deep pockets and you’re surprised there’s a feeding frenzy? Come on, man.” — New Orleans plaintiff attorney Danny Abel, on the money BP is being forced to pay out in the wake of its 2010 oil spill, in Businessweek.

Speaker Candidates Show Hands House Speaker Pro Tem Walt Leger, D-New Orleans, appreciates the title, but what he really wants is the gavel. “I will absolutely be a candidate for

“Texas is five and a half times bigger than Louisiana, but we’re 10 and a half times more interesting than they are.” — Treasurer John Kennedy

time in the Legislature and being speaker pro tem and all the opportunities that affords me.” Meanwhile, Republicans are beginning to look within their own ranks for a contender for speaker. It’s a divided field, as evidenced by this year’s session, but those interviewed are hopeful for a united front. One name being floated is that of Rep. Chris Broadwater of Hammond, a freshman who managed to work with both the conservative Fiscal Hawks during the recent session as well as party faithfuls. “I’ve had a couple of colleagues

approach me about it, so I have given it some thought,” he said. “But ultimately it’s up to the body. There is a lot of time between now and then.” Another name mentioned by conservatives in the House is Criminal Justice Chairman Joseph P. Lopinto of Metairie. “I’ve made it known to a few people that I am considering running,” he said. “I think I have an organizational (skill) set that makes me good for the job. Let’s just see what the next two years bring.” Looking ahead, the next governor could follow the path taken by Gov. Jindal. Whether intentional or not, Jindal backed a term-limited lawmaker, former Rep. Jim Tucker, upon taking office in 2008, which allowed him to change up leadership — and garner fresh commitments — in the current term with Speaker Chuck Kleckley, R-Lake Charles.

Opelousas Sen. Trending Online Gov. Jindal wasn’t the only Louisiana official garnering national attention in the wake of this year’s regular session. As of July 9, state Sen. Elbert Guillory’s YouTube video, entitled “Why I Am a Republican,” had received more than 750,000 views. In the video, he explains why he switched to the GOP and why “it is the right decision, not only for me, but for all my brothers and sisters in the black community.” Interspersing images of Frederick Douglas and Abraham Lincoln, Guillory uses the highly-polished spot to tell the history of the GOP’s abolitionist roots and to lambast Democratic support for social welfare programs. Guillory said that it was his idea to make the video and he alone paid for its production. “I’ve been surprised by the response,” he said. “I only did it to explain to the people back home why I switched parties.” Within the first 36 hours of posting the video, Guillory said his office received more than 4,000 communications, and a temp worker had to be hired to help with the overflow. Over the past week, an additional 6,000 communications have arrived, including media requests from New York, California and elsewhere, he said. As for how he can build on the momentum, Guillory said he has been encouraged to run for everything from the U.S. Senate to president. “I’ll certainly never say never,” Guillory said, adding that he’s still more interested in the race for lieutenant governor in 2015.

For more on Louisiana politics, visit LaPolitics.com. 26

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L A K E

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Window Shop In The Shade, Eat Syrup Cake On The Deck And Buy Wine In A Bank Vault. There’s Lots To Do In Lake Arthur By Brad Goins

he latest big development in the small town of Lake Arthur is The Bank Vault, or L’Banca Albergo (233 Arthur Avenue, 337-774-7249). The hotel is a reworking of a former Jeff Davis Bank building. When Roberta and Bobby Palermo acquired the building, it had been ravaged by time and hurricanes. “It was a mess,” says Roberta. The first architect the Palermos consulted recommended the building be torn down. Today, it’s a comfortable hotel with creative thematic twists that are a pleasure to behold. The check-in desk is an old bank teller’s station, complete with iron bars in the front. Embedded across the top of the teller’s station is a row of wine bottle corks. 28

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Inside The Bank Room in the Bank Hotel.

The Wine Vault, where the hotel sells its Bank Vault vintages as well as some name brand wines, is located in the old Jeff Davis bank vault. This vault still has a round metal handle that sits under the large imprinted word AIR: a device that was obviously intended to get oxygen to anyone who became trapped in the vault. Outside the door of each room in the hotel is an elaborate painting of the title of the room. First up is The Live Oak, the name of renowned Lake Arthur hotel that was built in 1885 and demolished in 1934. It was a favorite stopover of Franklin Roosevelt, who enjoyed Southwest Louisiana. Each room of The Bank Hotel contains art that matches the theme of the room’s name.

The room with the most intriguing appearance is the The Bank. A drive thru vault desk and window are part of the room. Some of the original brick of the walls is visible. Also in the room is an old Diebold safe. Above the vault, a single microphone hangs down from the top of the drive thru station by means of a steel pipe. A new granite counter top sits on top of the desk. On the desk are an assortment of old bank stamps. Guests leave $1 bills in the Diebold desk drawers. For some reason, at least a couple of architects opposed the preservation of this drive thru structure. But it was meant to be part of the hotel. When the new hotel was being constructed, Bobby spent an entire day trying to remove the drive thru station with a sledge hammer. After a day of that fruitless labor, it was decided the station would stay put (as Roberta had wanted it to all along).

whole narrative of the image. The viewer wonders what was going on. Then there’s a feature that demonstrates how photos come to be thought to include images of ghosts. There’s just a sliver of a white figure on the far left of the house’s dark open doorway. This, I was told, was in fact Roberta’s grandmother, who was, obviously, standing a few feet behind the door’s threshold — we don’t know why. The figure who appears to be a young man was actually Roberta’s brother, who was only 12 at the time. He was surely big for his age. The color scheme of the hotel rooms is a brownish white for most walls with trim in a bluish gray. Often one wall of a room is painted in the gray. I think this gray is

probably meant to echo the old industrial color of the metal work in the bank. The affect is aesthetically pleasing and calming. The second floor includes a common area with a couch. This is where you’ll find an assortment of pastries (honey buns, Danish, Otis Spumkmeyer muffins) and a variety of breakfast coffee blends every morning.

The Heart Of Lake Arthur Our room, The Hudson, named after Roberta’s grandson, was a spacious and comfortable second floor room that included two queen beds, two recliners, two dressers and an armoire. (All rooms have a clothes steamer.) Our room was right next to the front bal-

cony. Built on a New Orleans theme, the balcony has wrought iron poles and detail (some of it painted in a very dark purple that works well). There are rocking chairs, tables. If you sit on this balcony, you will be at the heart of Lake Arthur. The town has only one strip, Arthur Avenue, and this is the spot where the strip starts getting busy. Turn right, and you’ll pass through three or four blocks of shops and bars and restaurants. Then you’ll come to the lakeshore area, with its enormous park and the large restaurant on the water, The Regatta. My wife Nydia and I watched a thunderstorm from this balcony. A long succession of big pick-ups came up Third Street toward the hotel; turned down Arthur continued

Check-in at The Bank Hotel. Note the row of wine bottle corks.

The Bank Room also has a distinctive wooden headboard that incorporates an antique door turned on its side. (A doorknob protrudes three feet above the pillows.) Throughout the hotel, headboards, many of which are made of wrought iron, rise five to six feet above the top of the mattress. Often the wrought iron headrests impart a New Orleans look. Now worthless stock certificates hang on the walls outside The Bank room. One of these is a certificate for $60,000 of Cameron Oil Co. Stock. On the second floor, The Chapman room focuses on themes related to Roberta’s family. Outside hangs the best historical photo I saw during my visit to Lake Arthur. An old country house is surrounded by a flood. Directly in front of the house, what appears to be a young man sits atop the bow of a large boat whose name, THE MYSTERY, runs along the side of the vessel in capital letters. The boat is aptly named, for this is a mysterious photograph. First there’s the July 18, 2013

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LAKE ARTHUR continued Avenue; drove down to the lakefront area and then back up. In the very heaviest rain, a large number of truck drivers was cruising someone or something. I have no idea what it might have been in this small town.

The Strip When you come to Lake Arthur, you’re really made welcome. As I checked in, I was given a gift basket from the local shop Just B Cuz Gifts. The basket included scents in a variety of forms and a large ceramic utensil holder decorated with South Louisiana themes. I found out during my walkabout on the next day that Just B Cuz Gifts (208 Arthur Avenue, 774-0334) offers t-shirts, handbags, coffee, potpourri and many more gift items for sale. There’s much art and many accessories on the fleur de lis motif. It’s just one of the shops on Lake Arthur’s small but thriving and busy strip. On the strip, wide sidewalks spread out under large overhangs. You can usually walk under shade. You can also sit under it, as a number of benches and chairs are scattered along the sidewalk. Let’s look at a few more stops on the strip.

Sugar Chic also offers more substantial fare. Its pizza is said to be one of the most popular in town. As I relaxed in the refreshingly quiet and cool shop, I enjoyed a hot fudge sundae made with Blue Bell vanilla and coffee ice cream. One wall preserves the brick of the original building. There’s plenty of outdoor seating. Business hours have recently expanded into the weekend at this venue, so drive over and enjoy your pizza and Blue Bell.

Sugar Chic

LA Bar

Among the many offerings at the Sugar Chic Co. Bakery & Café (112 Arthur Avenue, 337-774-5101) are truffles and homemade bread pudding. A display case shows off cakes the bakery and restaurant has prepared. One cake looks just like a wood duck; another has tiny baby feet on top.

One of the big stars of the strip is the LA Bar (118 Arthur Avenue, 337-7749989). Bartender Lindsie Lacombe was kind enough give us the guided tour of this historical bar that’s been in operation since 1903. (Lacombe nonchalantly mentioned she could easily work a crowd of 75. She’s also a pretty good storyteller.)

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Sugar Chic welcomes a new baby with a specially made cake.

A display of antique bottles at the LA Bar.

The LA Bar remained open during prohibition. The liquor was served in the upstairs portion of the building, which was, at that time, also a card playing parlor. “A lot of illegal things went on up there,” says Lacombe. People who wound up with a royal flush had their deck of cards nailed to the wooden ceiling of the upstairs room. During a recent remodel, a chunk of ceiling with one such deck was cut out. You can request to see it at the bar. It’s said that women weren’t allowed in the bar until the 1960s. One of the subjects of town talk is the sign that used to hang in the back that read “Women Are Allowed As Long As They Refrain From Excessive Talking.” A few years ago, someone stole the sign, probably at one of the town’s

Regatta Festivals. Among the hundreds of historical artifacts on the shelves and walls of the bar are the “Little Nicks” — the tiny duck decoys made by former owner Nick Trahan. These are said to be worth $500 each. Colorful antique or vintage tin signs on the walls read: — FREE BEER! tomorrow — I don’t always drink beer, but when I do … I prefer to drink a lot of it. These are joined by a large circular metal sign for Dixie (45) Beer. Making this colorful-looking old bar even more colorful is the rumor that it’s haunted. Employees swear that when they come to work in the morning, someone or something has left dimes on the counter and tables. Bloody Marys are served at the LA Bar at 8 am on the weekends. The secret recipe

includes (I am told) beans, carrots and okra.

Nott’s Corner A few blocks up the strip and a bit away from the busy part is Nott’s Corner Cajun Restaurant (639 Arthur Avenue, 337-7742332). The building is unassuming, but there’s nothing unassuming about the 15feet-tall metal sculpture of a crawfish that sits in front of it. Among the many historical photos that decorate the walls was the large one that hung right next to our table: a majestic shot of the long vanished Live Oak Hotel. For my main course, I had the crab pasta with white sauce. The sauce was thick and had a smooth consistency and a hint of butter. One challenge with white sauce is to refrain from using too much; there was plenty in this dish, but somehow it never overpowered the taste and texture of the angel hair pasta. Small pieces of crab were blended into the sauce throughout. The meal was delicious and a great success. My wife Nydia got the red snapper. The texture of the fish was firm but never chewy. The fish may have been marinated; the taste had real flavor. There was nothing of the rubber chicken taste that a poorly prepared thick fish filet can have. For dessert, we were served a traditional Cajun bread pudding. I don’t like rum sauces in which the taste of the rum is dominant; in this one, it wasn’t. The sauce was rich, buttery and abundant. The serving size of bread pudding was right — enough to satisfy, not enough to stuff. Courteous owner Carl Higginbotham worked the room, going from table to table. This old school Cajun can recall taking first grade instruction in French — a language that was the only one his grandfather spoke. He told us what he’d learned about preparing fish during the years he’d spent living in Malaysia and Indonesia.

Also On The Strip The Green Pea Art Studio is the site of art lessons, canvas and cocktail parties and birthday parties. Much Louisiana-themed art is sold here. There’s also a Meaux’ Pharmacy, a flower shop, an ice cream parlor, the Beer 30 Lounge and other enterprises. The storefront at 110 Arthur Avenue has a large display of antique medical memorabilia. If you want to go kayaking, go to the booth right next to Sugar Chic. Muddy Water Rentals is located at 114 Arthur Avenue. This operation rents single and double kayaks, pedal boats, paddleboards and plain tubes and tubes with backrests by the hour or day. For rental rates, call 337-774-8583 or visit muddywaterrentals@yahoo.com.

Pappy’s One Lake Arthur landmark that isn’t on the strip is the old school diner Pappy’s (323 Calcasieu Avenue, 774-3334; Monday-Saturday 7 am-9 pm), which has been around since 1957. It was named after its first owner, alderman Carl Andrus, called “Pappy.” Andrus started off by selling snow cones from his back porch. Early on, he and his wife made barbecue in a Magnalite pot. The pot made enough barbecue for 50, which meant 50 plate lunches were served each day. In 1967, the shop was sold to Edward continued July 18, 2013

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LAKE ARTHUR continued and Patsy Sonnier, who are said to have sold 210 hamburgers on their first day of business. The day we dined at Pappy’s, I had the Super Jack burger, which I selected because it has five or six kinds of peppers on it. One of the dressings was breaded and fried slices of jalapeno. Of course, the cheese was pepperjack. The sandwich met the criteria of the oldfashioned burger royally. I note in particular that both parts of the bun had been well grilled in butter. The pepper taste was agreeable and not too strong to run the risk of being harsh. A side order of hush puppies was marked by the inclusion of jalapeno slices. I’m not really an onion ring person. But I was told by Nydia that her onion rings, which were large and made with thickly sliced onion, were homemade, fresh and tasty.

The Regatta When you get to the very end of the strip, you’re on the Lake Arthur beach. One of the major attractions is The Regatta restaurant (508 Hawkeye Avenue, 337774-1504, regattarestaurantla.com). Boats of all sorts pull up and dock here; often the owners stay overnight. House manager Dave Dupre told me sea planes land at the spot. He said yachts come in from as far away as Corpus Christi. The restaurant is an homage to the Wave Café, a restaurant that thrived on the same spot in the early 1900s and was destroyed by Hurricane Audrey. Nydia and I ate on the large outdoor

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deck which sits over the lake. If you can, face the lake and look out over the calm waters to the trees that rise up along the shore far away on the other side of the lake. It’s a calming sight. For my entrée, I ordered the grilled duck with cane syrup. The menu promised I would get half a broiled duck, and I was afraid I wouldn’t get enough. I needn’t have worried. All the skin on this sizable duck half was properly spiced and very crispy — crispy all

over; even on the bottom of the bird. The crispness of the skin and the texture of the hot subcutaneous fat made a perfect blend. It was a bit like what happens with wellprepared cracklins. It was all delicious, but be aware this is a very rich dish. The taste of the cane syrup didn’t get lost in the cooking process. I could taste it easily in each bite. It made a dramatic and exotic complement to the duck. You don’t always find the exotic in Cajun restaurants. I can assure you you’ll find it at this venue. (We’ll see this also in the dishes I’ll describe below.) This dish is a specialty of the house, as is the side dish I ordered: corn grits. I was a bit surprised that the corn grits had many kernels of cooked corn scattered through them. They were a slightly sweet treat, and appropriately light for the duck. My dessert was syrup cake, which I ordered because I thought I’d never had it. I was right. I’m sure I never ate anything like this while I was growing up in Tennessee. The cake was big and has a dense texture, a bit like that of peasant bread. Again, the taste of the syrup was pronounced. If you’re a big fan of the taste of ginger (in the cake) and molasses (in the syrup), this will be your dish. But get a light entrée in preparation for it. For appetizers, Nydia and I shared two that townspeople had told us were popular: Cajun Bait (shrimp and crawfish in a fried patty — all meat; no dressing Johnny Guinn performs on the deck of The Regatta. inside) and the Broccoli Balls,

which were broccoli, cheese and bacon rolled in a ball, breaded and deep fried. The latter appetizer, I think, is the dish for anyone who’s dreamed of having fried breaded bacon. It’s very tasty, but a few make a meal. “We’ve become a destination place. The word’s gotten out,” says Dupre. The word had certainly gotten out the night we went, as some large parties waited more than an hour for an indoor (air-conditioned) table. Fortunately, there was no wait for the deck, which was where we wanted to sit anyway. I was surprised by the level of activity on the deck. Quite a few people were milling around, talking and sipping on their tall drinks. A number posed for photos, using the lake as the background.

upstairs, there’s a wide variety of tongue and groove walls with boards of different widths. On the walls are sheets of the tin ceiling from the old Lake Charles Fair building. A number of windows that were preserved from the Chicago World Fair of 1893 decorate the walls. Inside the house, old boating artifacts are everywhere. The handle of the staircase is the “cool kill” [pipes used to cool a motor] from an old boat painted glossy black. Decorations

The Old Machine Shop Towards the end of our tour, Roberta and Bobby gave us a tour of their lakeside home, which is a retooling of Lake Arthur’s old machine shop. Outside the entrance, the sign that reads Lake Arthur Machine Shop, W.G. Chapman, Est. 1901, still hangs from a bough of a live oak. The shop, which the couple has owned since 2000, was a place for repairs of boats in Lake Arthur for decades. The present-day home is made mostly from old cypress and long leaf pine that came from the original shop. In the

include a ship’s porthole window and a boat wheel. Some brass propellers were welded together to make a centerpiece candleholder for the table. But 200 brass propellers in the shop were sold for scrap. This isn’t surprising given the amount of antique and scrap wood and hardware that

was left in the shop when Roberta and Bobby took over. In many places, they say, the piles of old materials rose above the height of an adult person. A few smaller piles can still be seen in the part of the shop that’s closest to the road — a large workroom that’s been preserved just as it was. A long assemblage of axles and gears is run by numerous huge belts that hang down from the ceiling. Roberta says that if power is applied, this huge assemblage can still be made to run. That’s a shock, since the thing looks ancient. But then most of the preserved part of the shop looks ancient. There’s a thick coat of oil and dirt one smells the instant one enters. Thousands of pieces of old hardware still reside in the wooden pigeonholes once constructed for them. A large, very old chart of “US Standard Threads Bolts and Nuts” hangs in a dustcovered frame. In the gaps between the old cypress floor planks, it’s easy to see the water of the lake. The mix of very much of the old and very little of the new in the renovated house pleases the owners. “We love it,” says Roberta. After the tour of the house, they offered

to take us on a tour of the lake in a pontoon boat that had lots of stuffed chairs and sofas just like those you’d see in a cozy den. “On the water, it’s always cool,” says Roberta. “There’s always a nice breeze.” Bobby took us up the lake, then up the Mermentau River. Soon we came to an area which, he said, was made up of six consecutive miles of bayou. It was pristine and peaceful, with only the occasional reminder of Rita.

Economic Status Longtime residents of Lake Arthur often speak of an age of relative success for the small town. “It was a very busy town,” says Roberta. “Superior Oil was here.” The age of prosperity and the town’s vitality took a big hit years ago. You can see it all over Lake Arthur, in the boarded up and deteriorated storefronts. “The town’s gone to nothing for so long,” says Roberta. Today statements about the economy range from “Lake Arthur needs to come back” to “Lake Arthur’s coming back.” Be that as it may, tourism and overall commerce are brisk at the spots I’ve mentioned. There’s plenty to keep you amused and relaxed for a weekend in Lake Arthur. The vital part of the strip is free of boarded-up buildings. It can get busy, and you may want to park a couple of blocks from the lake and walk from place to place. Whether you go by I-10 or Highway 90, Lake Arthur is less than an hour’s drive from Lake Charles.

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vic wukovits

Apps To Make Road Trips Easier Everyone needs to take a vacation. This summer, my family and I embarked on a pilgrimage to the place of my birth, where the Wukovits family conducts its tri-annual reunion: South Bend, Ind. While my family and I have taken many a road trip, this one promised to be the longest we’d ever traveled. Armed with our trusty iOS devices, we decided to leave all the planning for on the road, using apps to help us determine where to gas up, dine, and rest our weary heads after a long day of driving. The first app that really helped us with finding places to gas up was RoadNinja (roadninja.com). This useful utility is complementary thanks to the efforts of Lamar Advertising, the billboard company. Available for both iOS and Android, RoadNinja allows you to see what’s ahead on the road, listing the gas stations, restaurants, hotels, stores and other attractions at each exit on the highway you’re traveling. If you select one of these destinations, you’ll see a display of extended information that even includes current gas prices — quite a handy feature. With hooks for Facebook, Twitter, Google+ and email, you can easily share your finds with your friends and followers. Some businesses even have promo-

tions through the RoadNinja app, allowing you to save a little, which is always a bonus when you’re traveling. When it came to finding places to eat, RoadNinja was helpful, but we often referred to Yelp (yelp.com) for more detail on the eateries nearby. The iOS version of the app is fantastic: with lots of information about each restaurant, we could easily see the menu, find out ratings, check pricing, and more. Having a resource like this definitely helped us

dodge restaurants that had less than stellar ratings or menus that might not have been what we needed to refuel us during our long journey. In the big city, we could easily find out which eateries were kid-friendly, which is pretty important when you’ve got two little people to consider. Of course, Yelp provides a ton of features such as maps with driving directions, social media hooks and lots more. No trip out of town would be complete

without help from Yelp. For lodging, we had already made our accommodations for our major destinations in Indiana and Illinois. But we decided to use Priceline (priceline.com) for finding lodging on the road. As we were driving, we weren’t sure where we would decide to call it a day, so using the Priceline iOS app enabled us to see what hotels were available along the highway and their respective rates and ratings. After dialing in certain filters, like free breakfast and free Wi-Fi, we were able to find places that fit our budget. Once we found a viable choice, we could peruse the reviews and sort through the ones that were decidedly bad choices. I found that the reviews were pretty darn accurate and didn’t have a negative experience thanks to this app. I did, however, have some issues with the app crashing on my iPad when I tried to “negotiate” a price. After the third time I encountered this issue, I just called the hotel and negotiated my own deal. Now that we’re back, safe and sound, I can look back on our week-long trek across the U.S. and admit that having help from these apps made our voyage a lot less stressful, allowing me to greatly enjoy my vacation with my family.

NEW OPHTHALMOLOGIST COMING THIS MONTH ... BRIAN MIKULLA, M.D.!

jo's party house 1930 ETHEL STREET 433-5882 34

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Feast your eyes on quite a few of the Lake Area's most wanted burgers. They may be highly sought after, but you should not approach them with caution. When you see one of these legendary big boys, reach out and dig in ... before some other burger hunter beats you to the draw.

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IT'S ALL ROUTINE ESTABLISHING A ROUTINE CAN HELP YOUR TWEEN DO BETTER IN SCHOOL ONE OF THE SECRETS to school success is an organized school routine. A routine keeps everyone on the same page, and makes getting ready for school, finishing homework, completing projects, and doing everything else that goes on during the school year a lot easier. Is your family’s school routine what you need it to be? Consider the following tips to help you manage your time, your commitments, your tween’s commitments, and other demands of the school year.

Sleep And Your Tween’s School Routine Your child may be growing older, but he or she still needs between 9 and 10 hours of sleep a night. That’s hard to get, when you consider all your tween has to do in the course of the day. But it’s important that your child rests adequately. It helps make the morning routine run a bit smoother, and helps your child focus in class.

Set Clothes Out The Night Before Your child is old enough to choose his own clothes for school, but you can

help him stay organized by encouraging him to lay his clothes out the night before. That will prevent him from running around the next morning looking for a certain shirt or for jeans that are clean.

Establish A Curfew Curfews can sometimes be thrown to the wind during the summer months, but parents should try to reestab-

Curfews can sometimes be thrown to the wind during the summer months, but parents should try to reestablish curfew rules and enforce them a few weeks prior the beginning of a new school year.

lish curfew rules and enforce them a few weeks prior to the beginning of a new school year. By the time the new school year rolls around, your tween should already be transitioned to the new schedule. What’s a reasonable curfew for a tween? Keep in mind your tween’s sleeping needs when determining a curfew, but be sure to make exceptions for special events or activities.

Write Down The Schedule Keeping tweens organized means putting their schedules in writing. Keep the family calendar in a place visible to all, such as the refrigerator, family workroom or some other spot where your child will see it everyday. Run through the school routine with your child a few times before the start of the school year, explaining when he should get up, have breakfast, have his teeth brushed, have his lunched packed, meet the bus, etc. Review the calendar daily, making note of any last minute changes or daily appointments or commitments. It’s also a good idea to go over the after-school

schedule with your tween. For example, specify when your tween should have certain chores or responsibilities finished, for example, when homework is to be completed, or when your tween should begin setting the table for dinner.

Go Shopping Be sure your tween starts a new school year with all the school supplies he’s likely to need. It’s also a good idea to buy extra supplies that he’s likely to run out of quickly, such as loose leaf paper, pencils, and other items you think he’ll need to restock within a month or two. Keep a closet or a drawer stocked with items your tween will likely need at some point during the year for homework or projects. Items to keep on hand include crayons, markers, glue, poster board, index cards and tape.

Stock The Pantry Tweens can be thrown off schedule easily. A common obstacle for them is finding snacks after school or items to pack in their lunch. Make it easy for your tween to locate healthy and nutritious items for snacks or lunch by providing items that taste good and provide a nutritious component. Junk foods only provide empty calories, and won’t be enough to help your tween get through the day. Healthy eating is a must if you want your tween to stay on track, and help his body and brain develop the way they’re supposed to.

Help With Transitions Before They Begin If your tween is headed to a new school or to middle school for the first time, be sure you take the time to help him transition to his new life. Tweens who are prepared are likely to stick to their schedules and complete their homework.

Provide Homework Guidance Homework can be a big obstacle during the tween years, and many parents of tweens complain that their children just have too much homework to complete. Conquer homework challenges by helping your tween keep track of his homework assignments and by providing an environment that helps your child finish his school work.

Buy A Day Planner Purchase a day planner for your child and show him how to use it. The planner should help him track his homework assignments and projects, keep upto-date on extra-curricular activities, and remember family commitments and other responsibilities.

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LET'S GO! DEALING WITH SCHOOL REFUSAL SOME KIDS DREAD going to school. For these kids, going to school may become so stressful that they have temper tantrums over going to school, or complain of symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches or chest pain. Why? For some kids, there is an easily identifiable trigger for school refusal, such as being bullied, a death in the family, or a move to a new neighborhood. When one of these events means that the child stays home with a parent for a period of time, the child may not want to go to school any more. Although school refusal has been associated with both separation anxiety disorder and social phobia, the easiest way to think about it is that school refusal is a difficulty attending school that’s associated with emotional distress, especially anxiety and depression.

Symptoms Not surprisingly, school refusal is most common in kids who are five to six years old who are just starting school and in their first year of kindergarten. In addition to having temper tantrums and crying when it’s time to go to school, symptoms children may have when they don’t want to go to school may include stomachache, headaches, nausea, dizziness, chest and joint pain. Other signs that a child’s symptoms might be caused by school refusal are that the child: • is gaining weight well • doesn’t have a fever, vomiting or diarrhea

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• doesn’t have as many symptoms when he isn’t in school, for instance, on weekends and holidays. • has no obvious physical signs of illness when you visit your pediatrician. For example, your child may claim to have joint pain, but have no joint swelling.

Managing Refusal Of course, the main goal in managing school refusal is getting the child back in school. Unfortunately, when kids seem sick and are trying to stay home from school, it’s not always easy to recognize that they’re avoiding school. That’s why a visit to your pediatrician is usually a good first step when your kids don’t want to go to school. This can help ensure that your child doesn’t have a physical condition that’s causing his symptoms. Unfortunately, while a physical condition can often be ruled out after your pediatrician talks to you and your child and does a physical exam, some children with school refusal end up seeing multiple specialists and having many tests before a diagnosis is finally made. Once a diagnosis of school refusal is made, here are some suggestions to handle the problem: • Make sure that your child goes to school each day; the longer he stays home, the harder it will be to get him to go back to school. • Understand that even though your child likely doesn’t have a physical problem causing his symptoms, that doesn’t mean that those symptoms aren’t real. Your child isn’t necessarily making up symptoms, such as stomachaches or headaches. They may just be caused by his anxiety about going to school. • Consider getting help from a child psychiatrist or psychologist in addition to your pediatrician, especially if you feel as if you’re having to force your child to go to school early. • Have a plan for when your child has symptoms at school; you might have him spend 10-15 minutes in the nurse’s office and then go to class. • Consider family therapy if there are any stressors at home, such as a divorce, separation, discipline problems, a death in the family, a new sibling or a recent move. One of the most important things parents can do is be open to the idea that a child’s symptoms might be caused by school refusal and not a physical problem. This will help get your child back in school faster and avoid unnecessary medical tests. Even if you aren’t convinced that your child has school refusal after seeing your pediatrician, you can keep your child in school as you proceed with a second opinion or further evaluation for a physical problem.

Ready For A New Challenge FORMER SOFTBALL OLYMPIC MEDALIST JENNIE FINCH TRAINED WITH LOCAL IRONMAN DAVE PARK TO PREPARE FOR THE AQUAFOR TRIATHLON IN NYC, THEN BESTED HER GOAL TIME BY FIFTEEN MINUTES BY KARLA WALL

hat does a two-time Olympian do to get back in shape after having her third child? Train for a triathlon, naturally. When I met with former Olympic softball medalist Jennie Finch (she won the gold medal as pitcher of the US Women’s Softball Team in 2004, and the silver in 2008) and Ironman triathlete Dave Park at Finch’s home in Sulphur, they had just come off a long bike training ride and were busy disassembling and packing Finch’s custom bike for a trip to New York City, where Finch would compete as spokesperson for the Aquafor Triathlon July 14, a mere four and a half months after the birth of her daughter, Paisley. For Finch, triathlons are simply another way to stay in shape, stay in the game, and challenge herself. “It’s a challenge — something new,” she says. “It allows me to be a full-time mom, but still compete.”

A NEW DIRECTION Finch and 9-year-old Maddie (granddaughter of Dave Park) after the finish of the T-Gator Triathlon July 7. It was Maddie’s first triathlon.

Finch’s road to triathlete status probably began, she says, when she ran the NYC Marathon in 2011 as a representative of Timex. Finch started the race in dead last position, and Timex donated $1 for every runner she passed. She passed more than 30,000 runners en route to a 4:05:26 finish. continued July 18, 2013

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Park, and races in Kemah, Texas, and in Houston. That’s all the more incredible when you consider he’s over age 60, a point of life at which most are becoming well acquainted with the armchair or sofa. Finch had found the perfect local coach. And Park, who has begun volunteer coaching numerous triathletes in the area, welcomed the opportunity to help. “It’s an honor to work with her,” he says. “She’s got such natural athletic ability. And she picks everything up so quickly.” Park says he enjoys working with those new to the sport. On July 14, Finch finished the Aquafor Triathlon in New York in two hours, 51 minutes, well ahead of her goal of 3 hours, 6 minutes.

Jennie Finch continued Finch returned home from that race and began seriously training for marathons with local runner Lori Pritchett, whom she met at a fundraiser swim meet at the Sulphur Parks and Recreation pools. The two would become fast friends and training partners, and, eventually, the two of them started talking about training for triathlons. “I’d never thought about doing a full triathlon,” Finch says. “but now that I had a training partner, I began to really consider it.” When Finch agreed to run the

Tammy Hassenpflug, Park, Finch, Lori Pritchett after T-Gator Race.

Aquafor triathlon, she and Pritchett began training in earnest. For help with the bike portion of the training, they turned to Capital Cyclery in Lake Charles. “They told me, ‘you know, you ought to talk to Dave Park,’” Finch says. Park would be the perfect guy to talk to, indeed. A local triathlete, Park’s resume includes finishing none other than the 2011 Ironman Triathlon in Hawaii, as well as the International Triathlon Union’s World Championship Race in Beijing, and the Escape from Alcatraz triathlon in San Francisco. He’s competed in over a hundred other local races including the T-Gator minitriathlon at Sam Houston Jones State

DIOCESE OF LAKE CHARLES OFFICE OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS 1112 Bilbo, Lake Charles, LA 70601

337-433-9640 Ext. 200 The Most Reverend Glen John Provost, Bishop of Lake Charles Mrs. Kimberlee Gazzolo, Superintendent of Catholic Schools

"ACHIEVING ACADEMIC EXCELLENCE THROUGH LEADERSHIP, UNITY AND SERVICE"

IMMACULATE CONCEPTION CATHEDRAL CATHOLIC SCHOOL 1536 Ryan Street, Lake Charles, LA 70601 • (337) 433-3497 • www.iccschool.org

OUR LADY IMMACULATE CATHOLIC SCHOOL 600 Roberts Avenue, Jennings, LA 70546 • (337) 824-1743 • www.olischool.org

OUR LADY’S CATHOLIC SCHOOL 1111 Cypress Street, Sulphur, LA 70663 • (337) 527-7828 • www.olcs.org

OUR LADY QUEEN OF HEAVEN CATHOLIC SCHOOL 3908 Creole Street, Lake Charles, LA 70605 • (337) 477-7333 • www.olqhs.org

SAINT MARGARET OF SCOTLAND CATHOLIC SCHOOL 2510 Enterprise Boulevard, Lake Charles, LA 70601 • (337) 436-7959 • www.stmcs.com

SAINT THEODORE’S HOLY FAMILY CATHOLIC SCHOOL 785 Sam Houston Jones, Lake Charles, LA 706l1 • (337) 855-9465 • www.sthfcs.com

SAINT LOUIS CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL 1620 Bank Street, Lake Charles, LA 70601 • (337) 436-7275 • www.slchs.org

STATEMENT OF NONDISCRIMINATION POLICY The Catholic Schools of the Diocese of Lake Charles do not discriminate on the basis of race, sex, national or ethnic origin. 48

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“I love watching them finish their first triathlons,” he says. “There’s a lot to this sport, and I enjoy helping people get into it. It keeps me young and motivated.” “I’d be lost without Dave,” says Finch. “Every day I learn something new from him.” Park has been, in coordination with Finch’s official coach, Olympic triathlon coach Gale Bernhardt, working with Finch on such areas as swim stroke technique; the ‘rules of the road’ for the biking portion of the race; how to transition from one part of the race to another (not an easy feat, that — going from the swimming portion to the biking portion, for instance, involves an intricate choreography of changing equipment and clothing); how to break down, pack, and put back together the bike. “He’s taught me so much about what gear to buy and how best to use it,” Finch says. He’s also given her great advice on “fueling” during the race — what energy boosters to use and when to take them. “There’s a lot to this sport,” Park says. While Park says he’s “more peer support than coach,” Finch begs to differ.

she’d gotten in after midnight from a business trip, gotten a couple of hours of sleep, and done the training ride. As she talks with me, she alternates between holding Paige, cuddling with her middle son, Diesel, and even scrambling an egg for a late breakfast. “Jennie definitely needs flexibility in her training schedule,” Park says. And, indeed, finding time to train is one of the biggest difficulties she has with being a triathlete. She’s also had to learn how to build endurance, something softball didn’t call for quite on the level of a triathlon. “I’m still building up endurance,” she says. “(Park) and I will be riding, and I’ll be thinking ‘this is killing me,’ and (Park) will not even be huffing and

puffing,” she says. There’s also the issue of open-water swimming — a very different experience than swimming laps. “I have a definite fear of open-water swimming,” Finch says. “It’s very intimidating. You have to overcome that fear of ‘creatures.’ There are snakes, alligators, sea life.” But, she says, she’s been able to do a half-mile swim in open water, so she was confident she could conquer that fear for the Aquafor triathlon.

THE PAYOFF Finch and Park’s hard work has so far paid off well. Finch placed second overall in the Women’s division at the TGator triathlon on July 7. And, on July

14, she finished the Aquafor Triathlon in New York in two hours, 51 minutes, well ahead of her goal of 3 hours, 6 minutes. And the swimming went off without a hitch, thanks to a friendly current — and a lack of monster encounters. “She had been hoping to swim 1,500 meters in 30-33 minutes,” Park says. “She swam it in 19.” What’s next for Finch? Park says he’s trying to talk her into entering a half-triathlon in Galveston later this year, and she’s talked about possibly training for an Ironman qualifier event, or a half-Ironman. “I don’t want to sacrifice too much family time,” Finch says. “We’ll just have to play it by ear.”

While Park says he’s “more peer support than coach,” Finch begs to differ. “He’s definitely a coach. It just never comes across that way.” “He’s definitely a coach. It just never comes across that way.” Finch and Park swim 2,000-2,500 yards on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, mostly at the SPAR pool, but they also do open-water swims in Lake Charles and in a local pond. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, they bike 20-30 miles and follow that up with a run of 1-2 miles. This combination, Park says, is called a “brick.” “That’s what your legs feel like when you get off the bike and begin running,” Park grins. “They feel like bricks.” One day a week, Park says, is dedicated to a run of 6-8 miles.

FINDING TIME — AND THE FEAR OF MONSTERS That kind of schedule is difficult for anyone, much less someone with Finch’s obligations — she’s a rep for several products and corporations; she’s got a young family. On the morning I visited, July 18, 2013

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Photo By Lindsey Janies

Port of Lake Charles Continues To Steer A Successful Course For SWLA Economy • By Matt Young

n a year of worldwide economic uncertainty, the Port has continued to grow and achieve financial success. The financial results for 2012 show almost $34 million in operating revenues and nearly $14 million in EBITDA (Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation and Amortization), a measure of the port’s operating cash flow. “We had a strong year in 2012 and plan to stay on the same course in 2013,” says Bill Rase, executive director of the Port of Lake Charles. “A successful financial turnaround since 2003 has been due to outstanding leadership from the board of commissioners and the dedication of Port staff.” How has the Port of Lake Charles been able to stay on such a steady and successful course through such a shaky economy? The Port continues to keep cargo flowing, begin new projects, complete a series of infrastructure improvements and bring in new business — creating jobs and spurring a convoy of economic development. The Port of Lake Charles’ business has flourished through a 10-year renaissance. By comparison, the Port ended 2003 with an operating loss of more than $4.3 million. In 2012, an operating surplus of $2.9 million was achieved, 50

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despite the Port’s spending nearly $146.8 million on equipment upgrades and capital improvements. Nearly 60 port customers and tenants rely on this infrastructure to do business daily and to remain competitive in today’s industrial marketplace.

THE INDUSTRIAL BOOM: YEARS IN THE MAKING A BRIEF LOOK AT THE PORT’S HISTORY A water route from Lake Charles to the Gulf of Mexico was always seen as important for transportation and trade. In the late 1800s, agriculture in the area was thriving. The lumber business was booming, and commerce was moving. At that time, cuts were made in sandbars in Calcasieu Lake, resulting in a dredged channel that was 70 feet wide and 7,500 feet long. In 1915, a portion of the Intracoastal Canal was completed. It connected the Calcasieu and Sabine Rivers and was 20 miles long. Seven years later, Calcasieu Parish residents approved a bond issue to deepen and widen the Calcasieu River from the Intracoastal Canal all the way to Lake Charles. The Louisiana Legislature officially authorized the Lake Charles Harbor and

Terminal District (Port of Lake Charles) in 1924, and commissioners quickly began building a terminal facility to receive vessels. Immediately, Port commissioners met with rail companies to discuss the role of rail lines in the Port’s future. The Port celebrated its formal opening in 1926, and the U.S.S. Cleveland, a Navy vessel, was docked at the newly constructed wharves for opening ceremonies. Since then, the Calcasieu River Ship Channel has been expanded to the extent that it is 40 feet deep and 400 feet wide. The Channel stretches from Lake Charles to the Gulf of Mexico, with an additional 32 miles offshore. In 2012, legislation designating the Port of Lake Charles as local sponsor of the ship channel, acting on behalf of the State of Louisiana, was passed.

THE CALCASIEU RIVER SHIP CHANNEL’S IMPORTANCE John LeBlanc, president of the Port of Lake Charles board of commissioners, said, “The ship channel is important not just for Southwest Louisiana, but for the entire country. This waterway is the carrier of 7.5 percent of the nation’s daily oil consumption and handles 55 million tons of cargo annually.”

An ongoing challenge is securing necessary funding for channel maintenance. The Port of Lake Charles is not just important, but absolutely crucial, to supplying the nation’s energy needs; keeping the channel open for trade is the Port’s top priority. “The channel is maintained by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, with the Port serving as local sponsor for the state. The channel is greatly responsible for our region’s thriving energy corridor,” said Rase. “It is home to the nation’s fourth-largest refinery and onethird of the U.S.’s strategic oil reserves. [It also] has access to one of the nation’s most active energy thoroughfares, the Henry Hub terminal.” In the last 15 months, major announcements from Trunkline LNG, Cameron LNG, Ameristar, Lake Charles Clean Energy, Sasol, G2X, Magnolia LNG and GLS of Louisiana have been due in part to the Calcasieu River Ship Channel, as well as an efficient pipeline infrastructure for the movement of natural gas.

PROJECT ANNOUNCEMENTS KEEP FLOWING IN The Lake Charles Harbor & Terminal District encompasses 203 square miles in

Calcasieu Parish. The Port’s properties, which are scattered along the ship channel, are more than just cargo terminals. They provide facilities for dozens of tenant companies that generate jobs and dollars for the area economy. According to Rase, the Port must be run like a business, and operates for the benefit of the public, bringing economic development and jobs to the area. In the past 15 months, eight major industrial announcements have been made. The impact of these projects will benefit the region for a very long time. Initial reports estimate the total impact: • $33.7-44.7 billion project investment • 15,000-18,000 construction jobs • 14,000 additional permanent direct and indirect jobs • 50 additional full-time jobs at the Port of Lake Charles • $150 million in capital improvements at Bulk Terminal No. 1 (BT-1). Trunkline LNG proposes to expand its liquefied natural gas (LNG) terminal to export LNG. The planned facility would be capable of exporting 15 million metric tons of LNG per year. It’s estimated to cost in excess of $8 billion. It’s estimated that during peak construction, 4,500–5,000 workers will be engaged in the construction of the project. Roughly 225 full-time positions will be added. In July 2012, construction began on a new casino resort. When it’s completed, the resort complex, which will be located on Port property, will represent a $500

Photo By Lindsey Janies

million capital investment. It will include a 700-room luxury hotel with 70 suites, an 18-hole golf course, a tennis club, swimming pools and a spa. The resort is set to open the third quarter of 2014, and is expected to create 1,500 full-time jobs. Sempra Energy will use its Cameron LNG facility to liquefy natural gas and export LNG, producing in excess of 15 million metric tons a year. The project will cost $9–10 billion, and will employ

1,500 construction workers, as well as provide 150 permanent jobs. The formal Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) application has been filed and deemed complete, and is the only proposed LNG export facility application (in Louisiana) pending before FERC will reach this milestone. Following FERC approval, construction is set to begin in the first half of 2014, with operations beginning in 2017.

The Port of Lake Charles contracted with a $2.5-billion first-in-the-nation gasification plant project to be located on Port property. Lake Charles Clean Energy (LCCE), a subsidiary of Leucadia Corp., has concluded several major long-term commercial off-take contracts, representing a major step on the path to groundbreaking for this firstof-its-kind processing facility. This procontinued

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ject will double the cargo tonnage handled at BT-1 to 6 million tons annually, and will require cargo handling 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Sasol North America’s CEO David Constable announced in December 2012 his company planned to invest between $16 and $21 billion in an integrated gasto-liquids and ethane cracker complex in Westlake. The project is expected to create 1,253 direct jobs and 5,886 indirect jobs. The Port of Lake Charles played a role in the Sasol project by helping to locate and secure the 650-acre site near the Port. In January 2013, Port commissioners approved an option for a long-term lease agreement with G2X Energy on 200 acres of Port property. The company plans to build a $1.3 billion natural gasto-gasoline facility across from Calcasieu Point Landing on the Industrial Canal. The project will create 243 new direct jobs and 748 indirect jobs. An estimated completion date is mid-2017. In March, Magnolia LNG announced its plans to build a $2.2 billion export facility that will produce up to 8 million metric tons of LNG a year. Magnolia’s project would be positioned for direct access to several gas pipelines. Using its patented Optimized Single Mixed Refrigerant process, or OSMR, Magnolia LNG would produce liquefied natural gas more efficiently with fewer emissions than other LNG processes. Greenfield Logistical Solutions (GLS) of Louisiana will invest $70 million in the development of the workforce housing project located on property leased from the Port near Chennault International Airport on La. Hwy. 397. The project will provide bulk housing for the workforces of engineering, procurement and construction contractors. There will not be a night-to-night lodging option for individuals. The project will handle only 4,000 of the expected 12,000 to 15,000 workers who will be temporary citizens of our community. The GLS project will provide such amenities as parking and bus transportation, eating and recreational facilities, warehousing, laundering services, minor medical services, carded entry and private security. Local services will be needed to provide these amenities. The workforce housing project will begin with an 800-person development that can be expanded to reach a 4,000-person capacity.

NEW OFFICERS LEAD THE PORT’S BOARD OF COMMISSIONERS John LeBlanc, Cameron Parish representative, was recently elected president of the seven-member Board of Commissioners of the Lake Charles Harbor & Terminal District, which operates the Port of Lake Charles. With 27 years of experience in the oil and gas continued July 18, 2013

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industry, LeBlanc currently serves as a terminal supervisor for Phillips 66, overseeing operations at the Clifton Ridge and Pecan Grove Terminals. He has served on various community boards, including United Way and the Cameron Fire District No. 1. His term began July 1. Also elected was Elcie Guillory,

Legislature appointee, vice president. He served in the Louisiana House of Representatives from 1993 to 2010. Prior to this, he was a member of the Calcasieu Parish Police Jury for 17 years. He attends Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church and has served as president of the Knights of Peter Claver Council. In addition, he is a member of the Vernon W. Joseph Fourth Degree Knights and the Knights of Columbus. Barbara McManus, also a Legislature appointee to the Board, and director of Eagle Federal Credit Union and board member for the Louisiana State

Retirement System, was elected secretary-treasurer. McManus was appointed to the Port board in 2011. Formerly employed by the State Department of Social Services, Office of Family Support, she retired in 1998 after 35 years of service. Dr. Daryl Burckel was elected assistant secretary-treasurer. He is a professor of accounting at McNeese State University. Burckel served as department chair of the Accounting, Finance and Economic Department from 1996-2002. He is a two-time graduate of the university’s College of Business. Burckel

earned his doctorate in accounting from Mississippi State University. He has provided extensive service to the Southwest Louisiana business community through numerous local and state economic development studies. He is a former councilman for the City of Lake Charles. Michael Eason was recently appointed by Gov. Bobby Jindal to a four-year term on the Port’s board of commissioners. Eason is senior vice president and resident director at Merrill Lynch in Lake Charles. Re-appointed to a second four-year term was Walter Sanchez. A Lake Charles native, Sanchez received his undergraduate and law degrees from LSU. He has been in private law practice in Lake Charles for 29 years. He has served on numerous non-profit boards and public commissions and is a past president of the Southwest Louisiana Bar Assoc.

THE PORT OF LAKE CHARLES CONTRACTED WITH A $2.5-BILLION FIRST-IN-THE-NATION GASIFICATION PLANT. THIS PROJECT WILL DOUBLE THE CARGO TONNAGE HANDLED AT BT-1 TO 6 MILLION TONS ANNUALLY. Dudley Dixon, former six-term Westlake mayor, was appointed to the board in 2012. Before he served the City of Westlake, Dixon was employed by Conoco for 21 years and served overseas in the U.S. Army in Nuremberg, Germany. Dixon has been involved with many boards on the local and state level. He currently serves as chairman for the Municipal Employees Retirement System.

PREPARING FOR THE FUTURE Besides bringing more business to the area, the Port of Lake Charles commissioners and staff have been focused on increasing the Port’s efficiency and adding cargo-handling capacity in order to better prepare for the future. New improvements include a loop track system that allows unit trains (up to 120 cars) to be unloaded and processed for shipping. Also, a master plan has been formulated for BT-1 by means of which bulk-cargo opportunities come fast — and require a rapid response to take care of customers’ needs. The Port of Lake Charles encompasses 203 square miles in Louisiana. It owns and operates two marine terminals and two industrial parks. The Port is consistently ranked among the top 15 busiest seaport districts in the U.S., based on cargo tonnage, by the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. For more information on the Port of Lake Charles, call 439-3661 or visit www.portlc.com. 54

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DOWNTOWN BECOMING EVEN MORE DELICIOUS Downtown Lake Charles Welcomes Venison Dogs, Cracklin Tacos And White Russian Snoballs By Brad Goins

n some of Lagniappe’s annual reports on downtown development, the development goes in a variety of directions. This time around, downtown development is mainly about food, with more than half a dozen new dining venues on the scene. If you’re one of those Southwest Louisianans with a Cajun passion for food, this is one of the stories you’ll probably want to read.

BOTSKY’S Botsky’s (104 W. Pujo St. suite 100; across the street from the Charleston Hotel parking lot; 274-7590) is a “high quality purveyor of hotdogs and sausages.” The venue boasts that it uses “the highest quality franks” and claims to specialize in “outlandish toppings.” Customers will back up this claim. One of the most popular items to date has been the Venison with Blueberry/Merlot dog. Other “outlandish toppings” include mac ‘n’ cheese, red beans, Asian slaw and fried egg. (Of course, you can get the traditional cheeses, onions, tomatoes, homemade chili and so forth.) In addition to the 100 percent beef dog, there’s the Kobe beef, smoked sausages, a veggie sausage and the various specialty sausages. The alligator sausage dog is apparently a new introduction. Fleshing out the cult of the unusual at Botsky’s is the promise of “Duck Fat Fries” and “Banana Dog Sundae.” Botsky’s has eight beers on tap and they’re all exotic. There’s quite a bit of shaded outdoor seating at the venue. Botsky’s Facebook page is loaded with info and updates. In the comments section, customers wax enthusiastic about dogs they’ve especially enjoyed.

Botsky's

Victoria's

ROMANO’S In Lake Charles, there’s always only one restaurant, and that’s the new restaurant. Everybody goes to the new restaurant and looks for a place to park, then waits in line. And it stays that way for a couple of months, or until there’s another new restaurant. Presently, Botsky’s has new restaurant syndrome. On the day of my downtown walkabout, I made sure to arrive shortly before 11 am to beat the crowd. There were already 10 people in line. I don’t think I’ve stood behind 10 people since I went to see Todd Rundgren in 1976. I thought I might more efficiently use my time by walking up the street and eating at the new Romano’s Italian

Governor's Mansion

Restaurant (723 Ryan St., 491-1847, Monday-Saturday 11 am-8 pm). I started with the appetizer Spicy Oil. When my serving bowl was brought to me, it was easy to see that a good many herbs were floating on the olive oil. I think that, in addition, there must have also been quite a bit of pesto in it. The mixture tasted buttery and salty (but not too salty). One can spoon this oil onto the bread lightly or heavily. Each time, I dug my spoon all the way to bottom of the bowl and poured everything I got on the bread. The taste was consistently delicious. Here’s the real treat: after I’d covered two large rolls with the oil, the server offered to bring me two more rolls. I wound up being able to eat every drop of oil. Now I call that an appetizer. For my entrée, I ordered the lunch special Chicken Modo Mio. Let me first describe how this dish differs from other Italian entrees I’ve had. Chicken and tomatoes in thick strips are laid across the pasta. With this dish, you won’t have to wonder whether you’re tasting the tomato. The sauce may have had some tomato in it, but it was a white wine sauce, not a tomato sauce. Even though it had butter in it, it was neither too thick nor gooey. In fact, I’d say it was a slightly light sauce. That lightness, along with the angel hair pasta, means this is one lunch you won’t still be fighting with at supper time. Even though the sauce includes roasted peppers, onion and basil, the sauce profile is subtle. The brick oven pizzas made at Romano’s include the New York Style, Supreme, Meat Lovers, Margherita and Chicken and Shrimp Alfredo. Some pizzas whose names you might not recognize include the White Wonder (Ricotta and mozzarella cheese), the Texas (red onions, beef and ranch sauce) and the capricciosa (artichokes, tomatoes and ham). Other specialties include chicken entrees (more than a dozen), baked casseroles and shrimp and seafood plates. Pasta dishes include the exotic Linguini Ali Olio (sliced garlic, banana peppers and olive oil sauce), Tortellini Michael Angelo (mushrooms, artichokes, onions and pink sauce) and Tortellini Vodka (with a creamy vodka sauce). Soups, salads, cold and hot subs and desserts are served. continued July 18, 2013

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Governor's Mansion Pattrick Schaad at Pujo St. Cafe

The restaurant looks much as the old Chinese King did. The original brick walls are preserved. There’s some Italianthemed art on the walls. I was pleased to hear popular Italian-American singers on the sound system and even more pleased not to see any televisions anywhere. If you want wine with your meal, call first. This venue doesn’t yet have its alcohol license, but expects it shortly.

GOVERNOR’S MANSION The Governor’s Mansion is a new catering and events facility at (1025 Broad St.; 309-9277). At the time I write this, kitchen construction is still underway. But the spacious dining area is complete and events are already being held. The day I toured the facility, elaborate, colorful table decorations were in place. (Of course, for this event, food preparation was still being done off-site.) I don’t know whether waiting or milling about go on at these sorts of catered events. But if they do, I don’t

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think you’ll find a better site than the large and impressive fountain in front of the mansion. The fountain is ringed by an elaborate array of flowers and four benches. This would be an outstanding place to sit and look (though perhaps not at high noon). Note that there’s an abundance of flowers planted in various spots all over the large yard. A stroll of the grounds would certainly be enjoyable and stimulating.

VICTORIA’S TAQUERIA You may recall this operation from the time when it was located in a cubbyhole at the Exxon station at the intersection of Broad Street and Highway 14. Victoria’s Taqueria has now moved down the street to 1004 Broad St. (6 am-4 pm MondayFriday, 6 am-3 pm Saturday) and is big enough to offer some indoor seating. I’ve written about these tacos before. The owners still serve up such exotic tacos as the delicious chicharones (crack-

lins) taco, but also still offer more conventional choices, such as the variety of egg and meat breakfast tacos. These are my favorite local tacos (by far). You can get them as early as 6 am, and you won’t have to break your piggy bank for them.

MERLOT INSIDE AND OUT The pioneer of food servers in the downtown development movement, Pujo Street Café, is celebrating its 20th anniversary with an entirely new menu and new look. Part of the new look is a huge paint job for the entire exterior of the building. The new look is the personal project of Pattrick Schaad, house manager. “I’m a big history buff,” he says. For this project, he “did a huge amount of research on Victorian architecture in terms of color schemes.” “We’ve got a mix of architectural styles” in Southwest Louisiana, says Schaad. He wanted to emphasize in par-

ticular the old Spanish influence and its connection with the area’s history as a no-man’s land. In recognition of these aspects of area history, he chose the color merlot as the predominate color of the exterior makeover. Schaad “wanted to bring out the molding.” For this job, he settled on ivory and cream hues, which are being applied to the molding on the exterior. The inside facelift of the building is already complete; wood on the inside and the outside of the Cafe has been painted a brilliant white. It’s clear varying hues of white are a motif in the new look. Schaad is pondering the addition of accents over the Café archway, but hasn’t yet completed the planning for that. Accompanying this massive makeover is a brand new menu that will be used straight through from opening to closing. It wasn’t yet in effect when I wrote this piece but it very well may be by the time you read it.

SNOW FLURRIES The distinctive new venue Snow Flurries (520 7th St., 564-6896) offers New Orleans Style Snoballs, as well as traditional American sandwiches and snacks. The owner’s name is Lauren Flurry. Yes, that’s her real name. She treated me to a Wedding Cake Snoball. I learned that New Orleans snoballs are a lot different from those I had when I was a kid. For starters, mine had a lot of ice cream in it — a tasty vanilla. It may be best to eat some of the ice cream with a spoon. (At any rate, I did.) But there are several flavors mixed with the ice under the ice cream. So you’ll want to let a lot of the ensemble melt and drink it through the straw.

contemporary, casual summer clothing and jewelry. Goods also included makeup, jewelry, belts and other accessories. The makeup line looked pretty hip to me, but since I’m definitely not an expert in these things, you may want to go take a gander for yourself. Flurry says a selection of shoes will soon be added. While you’re in this shop, you may want to take a look at the old Gulf gas pump that’s one of the decorations. Flurry tells me this main area of the store — the one I’ve been describing — is the Contemporary clothing area, which

Lulu's Downtown

has sizes from extra small to large. She’ll soon open a new area — the Modern clothing area — which will house sizes extra large to 3X. Although the store is very new, Flurry says, “It’s going great.” A few years ago, I used to gripe about downtown entrepreneurs not keeping regular weekend hours. Flurry seems to be compensating with a vengeance. Her hours are 10 am-7 pm seven days a week. Lulu’s Downtown offers online sales (see the facebook address above, or just search for Lulu’s Downtown on facebook. You may also want to check out continued

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My snoball was sweet but not too sweet. The taste was largely a rich vanilla one — again, very different from the super-sugary concoctions I had years ago. It was an ideal drink for a 100-degree July day. Right now, Snow Flurries is offering 30 snoball flavors. A few you might not expect are the Cajun Red Hot, the Dill Pickle, Spearmint, Tigers Blood and White Russian. I hope to make it back one day to try the Dream Sickle. In addition, there are Flurries Specials snoballs, which include such names as The War Head, LSU and Captain America. You’ll need to check with Lauren to see what combinations of flavors are in these. Snow Flurries is also offering a selection of Panini sandwiches, including an Italian with ham, pepperoni and salami. The venue also serves Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs and many different sizes of nachos. There’s plenty of shaded seating outside.

WOMEN’S CLOTHIN UPDATE Lulu’s Downtown (520 7th St., 8026767, facebook.com/ LulusDowntownLakeCharles) is a “women’s clothing boutique,” says Flurry. It offers “trendy, chic, unique women’s clothing.” On the day I visited, I saw plenty of July 18, 2013

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Beers on tap at Botsky's

Gallery of Fine Wine & Spirits

Lulu’s Things, an “upscale women’s consignment shop.” Visit facebook.com/ LulusThingsLakeCharles or shoot an email to lulusthings13@gmail.com.)

WINE AND SPIRITS In the downtown update, I usually just write about downtown developments that have taken place in the last few months. This time, I’m going to have to make an exception to compensate for some gross journalistic negligence on my part. During my downtown walkabout, I went into the Gallery of Fine Wine and Spirits at 429 Ryan St. thoroughly convinced it was a new business. Judge, then, of my astonishment when the counterperson told me the institution had been

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open for two years. How did I miss it? After all, it’s right across the street from the Brick House. Let me try to make up for lost time. The Gallery specializes in boutique and specialty items related to wine. For instance, you’ll find Molly Dooker Carnival wines and Bodega wines among the abundant stock. The store also goes for the specialty items in beer, whisky and liquor. Out-ofthe-ordinary beer offerings include Unibroue (AKA Unibrew, for which the beer is fermented in the bottle) and Indian Wells (which offers such tantalizing brew names as Amnesia IPA, Lobotomy Bock and Blackout Stout). Beer brands offered in the store number in the hundreds.

I asked whether the store sold single malt whiskey. The counter person pulled out an entire list of single malts. Now that’s the way to do business. Stock in The Gallery includes specialty pipes and tobaccos, cigars, coffee and oil and vinaigrettes. Shop at the Gallery of Fine Wine and Spirits from 9:30 am-8 pm MondayThursday and 9:30 am-8:30 pm FridaySaturday. Reach the store at 656-2752 or email info@galleryoffinewinesandspirits.com.

OTHER DEVELOPMENTS — Exclusive Trends at 803 Broad St. is a barber shop and beauty salon that’s open Monday-Saturday 10 am-7:30 pm.

— At 619 Ryan St., the bright blue BERDON-CAMPBELL sign has been uncovered. If you enjoy old commercial architecture and signage, you may want to check it out. This historic property is being handled by Vanek Real Estate. —There’s a taco place in the spot in the Exxon station at Broad and 14th once occupied by Victoria’s. Although I haven’t had a chance to try it, I’m told the venue serves tacos with gravy on them, and also serves other Mexican items, such as burritos. If I get a chance to visit, I’ll give readers a full report in my regular column “Up Front.”

NEW COMPANY OFFERS STAND-UP PADDLE BOARDING ON THE LAKE The new Paddle Up Boarding Co. centers around the popular diversion of stand-up paddle boarding. Owner Shawn Garry describes paddle boarding activities as “physically invigorating sports,” and says they give people the opportunity to experience the beauty of Southwest Louisiana’s lakes, bayous and Gulf Coast areas. In addition to serving the downtown locations of the Promenade and North Beach, this operation provides activities at Prien Lake, L’Auberge Beach and Johnson Bayou. It even offers Gulf surfing. One feature that’s available is Paddle Fit Workouts, which include stand-up, laydown, and knee paddling workouts. Workouts are offered at Prien Lake Beach Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings 5:30-6:30 am. Garry describes Paddle Fit as “the ultimate cardio/core workout,” and says it works the entire body. Cost is $10 per session; purchase 10 and you get the 11th free. Probably the most popular Paddle Up activity is the Sunset paddle/tour at Prien Lake Park Beach. Paddle Up provides stand-up paddle board, paddle, life jacket and whistle. Guides go along to keep things fun and safe. Participants meet on the Prien Beach at 7:15 pm. Cost is $30 per paddler for the 1 1/2-hour tour. Garry calls the tour “a great way to spend time with your family. Even the little ones can ride on the paddles [with their parents].” He notes that the activity is for the whole family and for all ages,

and relates the story of a woman in her 60s who just enjoyed a tour. This event is popular, so you’ll need to make your reservation early. A feature that’s now being introduced is the Full Moon Paddle, which will take place during every full moon cycle. Paddle Up schedules “corporate paddles” (which, says Garry, are “just an opportunity for folks to get out of their work and connect a little”) and other paddling events. Email questions about planning a party or special event to paddleup@yahoo.com. Garry has spent more than 25 years surfing and paddling in such places as Hawaii, British Columbia, Alaska, the Caribbean and Johnson Bayou. As someone who was “raised in the rugged waters of Northern California,” Garry was right for the part from the start. He claims his paddle-boarding enterprise is “brand new for SWLA.” “We’re pretty happy so far,” he says. “We’ve been booked up steady. “It’s been fun. It’s a fun business to be in,” especially “if you’re into being on the water.” All customers get introductory instruction, including familiarization with the area and a safety brief. Activities are available at beginner, intermediate and advanced levels. There are hour, half-day and full-day rental rates. For full information on rates, visit paddleuplc.com or check out Paddle Up’s Facebook page. July 18, 2013

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HIGH-SPIRITED BROTHERS With Louisiana Spirits, Two L.C. Brothers Revitalized The Country’s Handcrafted Rum Industry And Spawned An Unprecedented Business Opportunity • By Brad Goins

rothers Trey and Tim Litel grew up in Lake Charles. They both graduated from Barbe and both went on to get degrees from LSU. After graduation, they left to pursue different career paths. But each holiday season, they reunited for hunting in Lacassine. It was in a Lacassine hunting blind that the brothers first discussed a quandary that had been occupying Trey. Why, he wondered, wasn’t there a good rum in Louisiana when the state has so much sugar cane? Louisiana has more sugar cane than any Caribbean island. Yet it’s the islands that are famous for rum.

The three partners of Louisiana Spirits: from left, Tim and Trey Litel and Skip Cortese.

As the brothers pondered the matter, they started doing some research of the growing craft distillery movement in the U.S. The brothers, says Trey, began to “look into what’s involved in a distillery.” They “learned from craft distillery stores.” They toured all the distilleries on the Bourbon Trail in Kentucky, the state that’s home to more than 40 bourbons and is known as the bourbon state. Why, the brothers wondered, couldn’t Louisiana become known as the rum state? The end result of this exploratory process was a rum distillery the brothers built in Lacassine, right at Exit 48 on I10. They got some big help from partner Skip Cortese, who, Trey says, “knows everything there is to know about a pipe, pump and tank.” Most entrepreneurs encounter tremendous obstacles on their path to business success. And the three partners did have a few rough patches along the way. “We were laughing that it would have been a really good TV show,” says Trey. “We persevered.”

‘WE KNEW WHAT WE WERE DOING’ The hurdles might have been much greater than they were had it not been for the business background of brother Tim.

IT WAS IN A LACASSINE HUNTING BLIND THAT THE BROTHERS FIRST DISCUSSED A QUANDARY THAT HAD BEEN OCCUPYING TREY. WHY, HE WONDERED, WASN’T THERE A GOOD RUM IN LOUISIANA WHEN THE STATE HAS SO MUCH SUGAR CANE? While Trey had been working for Bacardi, learning the spirits business, Tim had begun his career employed by Sulphur-based company Allwaste. Tim and future partner Skip Cortese “worked together for years” at the company. Eventually the two began to form their own industrial companies, creating as many as a dozen before they ever envisioned Louisiana Spirits. Especially known for their Speed Industrial Services companies (whose headquarters is another Sulphur-based operation), the two most often put together industrial continued July 18, 2013

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Photo By Jamie Lee

systems designed to clean out containers that had been used to transport oil. When it came time to create Louisiana Spirits, the two found it was “no different from our tank-cleaning facilities,” says Tim. Both kinds of operations used such basic components as piping, heating, boilers and other mechanisms that Tim and Skip were very familiar with. “Skip and I had done this so many times, we knew what we were doing,” says Tim. Tim and Skip concentrated on the engineering and fabrication of the Louisiana Spirits distillery. The capital they’d accrued from previous business creations eased the financial burdens involved with the creation of a new business.

GETTING THE STATE ON BOARD In the start-up process, the brothers learned a great deal about distilleries and how they worked. They also learned about state legislation and the Legislature. They realized that in addition to building heaters and boilers, they’d have to build a new law. “The state has been very good to us,” says Trey. He says this primarily because the state was quite helpful in changing a Louisiana law that would have prevented the Louisiana Spirits distillery — or any distillery in the state — from selling its products on the site of the distillery. The brothers started by getting to

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know state Sen. Blake Morris, who represents Jeff Davis Parish. Morris introduced them to Troy Hebert, commissioner of the Louisiana Office of Alcohol and Tobacco Control. And Hebert introduced the brothers to industry leaders who were likely to support a bill relaxing the old state law. Senate Bill 64 passed in 2012 without one vote in opposition. Louisiana distilleries could now sell their products at the distillery. “We drove this law and change in behalf of the [distillery] industry,” says Trey. He believes in what he calls the

“three-tier system.” These tiers are wholesaler, retailer and manufacturer. Take away the manufacturer’s ability to sell at the site of manufacture and you may take away his ability to thrive. Trey argues that winemakers and beer brewers have long been able to sell their products from the site of manufacture. “Why can’t a distillery do it?” he asks.

OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS — AND LOUD With the law now on their side, the partners could have done what many entrepreneurs do and worry about

whether they’d taken on too risky a proposition. But there doesn’t seem to have been too much hand-wringing on this account. “We don’t believe it’s a risk at all,” says Trey. He sounds confident in general, and certainly has confidence in the distillery’s products in particular. Since July 1, Republican National has been selling the Louisiana Spirits products in Louisiana. The first week of sales bore out Trey’s feeling that this wasn’t a risky business, and did so in a way that was almost unbelievable. In the first week of sales, the distributor got 681

new accounts for the product. In fact, you may be seeing Louisiana Spirits products on Tobacco Plus shelves in this area by the time you read this story. The burst of success may have been something of a surprise for brother Tim, who had, in fact, thought the distillery would “actually [be] a pretty small venture” in comparison to the industrial businesses he’d helped start up. “Nobody was really making rum in the U.S.,” he says. Now, thinks Tim, “it’s grown into a national opportunity.” Part of the brothers’ learning process before the start-up of Louisiana Spirits was the discovery of the business limitations many craft distilleries bump up against. Often such distilleries produce a total of 4,000 to 5,000 cases of product a year. “Can they make a living?” with that amount of product, Tim asks. The problem, he says, was that “they sold about all the product they can make and they can’t stop” making product in order to bring about the necessary expansions to be able to make more product. To avoid this sort of situation, the brothers are presently doubling the size of their warehouse (from 12,000 to 24,000 square feet). Tim believes Louisiana Spirits could produce close to 100,000 cases a year with its present facilities. The business, he says, aims to make “the transition from a craft distributor to a mainstream distributor,” with the hope of eventually producing more than 200,000 cases a year.

given to animals. There’s no discharge; no waste.

THE BIG STORY We’ve seen there are several interesting business stories and twists in the short history of Louisiana Spirits. But the big story here is, of course, the rum. One of the greatest pleasures of running a craft rum distillery must surely be the power to create new flavors of rum — in Louisiana Spirits’ case, such flavors as Silver Bayou Rum and Spiced Bayou Rum. Part of the marketing strategy at Louisiana Spirits is to convince serious drinkers who aren’t inclined to rum to consider trying a Louisiana Spirits rum

that might have some of the characteristics of what they’re used to drinking. For instance, whiskey is aged in oak barrels. These provide the dark, smoky, woody bite that whiskey drinkers enjoy. The Spiced Bayou Rum is aged in whiskey barrels in a very similar manner to that used for whiskey. Whiskey lovers might want to give it a try. Likewise, drinkers who prefer vodka seek a cleaner, lighter taste than the one provided by whiskey. They could discover an affinity in Louisiana Spirits’ Silver Bayou Rum.

be almost a forgone conclusion? “I’m glad to be home,” says Tim. Although he lives primarily in Baton Rouge, Tim commutes three or four times a week to Lacassine, which, he points out, is only 18 miles from Lake Charles, where his mother still lives. Trey, ever-sensitive to the marketing aspect of the business, sends this message to the Lake Area: “Taste the spirit of Louisiana!” And he has one more message: “Go Bucs!” And yes, the brothers still meet every holiday season to go hunting in Lacassine.

THE STORY GOES ON How do the brothers feel about their new distillery now that success seems to

WHY BUY HANDCRAFT RUM? There will always be a taste factor in the success story of a craft distillery. “A handcraft rum is better than an industrial rum,” says Trey. It just tastes better. It’s that simple. But many consumers are involved in the movement because they feel that by buying local or regional products, they’re supporting local workers and business, and, in particular, local agriculture. “We support sugar cane farmers [in Louisiana] and people who work in mills,” says Trey. He says he hopes the distillery will create new opportunities for local agriculture and Louisiana sales reps and new Louisiana jobs “for people who work for us.” Louisiana rum will also generate tax revenue for the state. “You’re supporting your local farmers,” says Trey. “You’re drinking a product that’s made in Louisiana.”

A GREEN RUM? Another user-friendly aspect of Louisiana Spirits’ handcraft rums is that they’re made in a green manner. Tim’s academic background is in environmental studies, and in particular, in compliance. With this knowledge and his experience in cleaning containers, he and Skip have “designed a zero-discharge area” at the distillery. The partners have invested half a million dollars in a machine that evaporates material from the still that would otherwise have been discharged. The material that remains is molasses-based. All this material is recycled into a feed that’s July 18, 2013

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BOOZE ON THE BAYOU South Louisiana's Craft Disttillery Boom • By Leanne Myers Boone

ew Orleans is the birthplace of the iconic cocktail known as the Hurricane, and the city has a rich history of appreciating a good mixed drink. Revelers pile into the streets

of the French Quarter every night carrying brightly colored plastic glasses filled with libations based on a range of spirits, from rum to vodka to whiskey. Despite having a cocktail culture and

an abundance of the ingredients needed to make good liquor, until about a year ago there was only one distillery operating in South Louisiana. Today, the Bayou State boasts seven working distilleries.

Louisiana’s micro-distillery boom follows a nationwide trend. According to the American Distilling Institute, an organization that promotes the craft distillery continued

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industry, in the past 10 years the number of micro-distilleries in the U.S. has risen from 69 to over 400. Sizes and production varies, but a well-working micro-distillery might take a year to produce the amount of rum a giant like Bacardi produces in less than a day. There are two major forces behind the explosion in the industry. The first is that savvy consumers have forced the market to supply more choices and better quality. “Foodies are extending their interests into beverages. People are looking at the cocktail industry as another way to be creative. They want to make drinkable art,” says Laura McMillian, assistant director of the American Museum of the Cocktail in New Orleans. Second is the global rise of the craft beer movement. “Micro-distilleries have ridden on the coattails of the craft beer movement,” says Jason Coleman, director of marketing for Old New Orleans Rum. When smaller breweries became profitable, entrepreneurs and potential investors took note and extended themselves into the distilling industry. Last year, Louisiana Senate Bill 64 passed, which gave distillers the right to sell small amounts of product directly to consumers out of their businesses. This provides a way to involve the community and has the potential to create a new avenue of tourism for the state. The Louisiana Spirits Distillery in Lacassine is set to complete their expansive facility soon. After touring and tasting, guests can stroll out with a bottle of Bayou Rum in hand. Trey Litel, co-founder of Louisiana Spirits, says he could not envision his distillery without a retail store. “Selling from our visitor’s center was paramount to our business,” he says. While entrepreneurs from all walks of life have tackled distilling, they share a camaraderie in helping the industry succeed as a whole. Coleman isn’t worried about competition, “A rising tide floats all ships,” he says. “Each one of these distilleries has their own spin on rum.” While the magnitude of the craft distillery movement in Louisiana has yet to be determined, two things are certain: This isn’t your Pappy’s moonshine or Prohibition era bathtub gin.

THE GRANDDADDY CELEBRATION DISTILLATION, OLD NEW ORLEANS RUM oldneworleansrum.com Celebration Distillation, home of Old New Orleans Rum, was founded by artist James Michalopoulos in 1995. While on a trip to Switzerland, he fell in love with the idea of opening a distillery after a visiting with a friend who distilled her own spirits from herbs growing in her backyard. In 1999, after about five years of vigorous experimentation, Old New Orleans was ready to sell their Crystal Rum, and Michalopoulos had succeeded in bringing rum production back to Louisiana. Today, Old New Orleans boasts distribution points as far away as New York and Chicago. Not only was Crystal Rum the distillery’s first commercial endeavor, it also serves as the basis for all of their other rums. Crystal Rum is clear, slightly sweet, with a hint of vanilla. ONO’s Amber

Rum is aged for three years in charred oak barrels. It has a deep taste, but still keeps its smoothness. Jason Coleman, director of marketing for Old New Orleans, is especially proud of the distillery’s Cajun Spice Rum. “It is infused with real spices.” he says. “We never use syrups for flavoring. This gives the rum a complex, yet light taste.” The showstopper at the distillery is its 10 Year Special Edition. This rum holds a special place in Michalopoulos’ heart. It was being aged in oak barrels when Hurricane Katrina hit. While some of the distillery’s inventory was lost in the storm, this special creation survived. It is so rare that it’s not sold in stores, but can be purchased at the distillery. The distillery’s latest creation has arrived just in time for summer. Gingeroo is a pre-made craft cocktail. Crystal rum, ginger juice, cane sugar, and carbonation is packaged in 750ml bottles. “In the past, prepackaged cocktails have been looked upon as second-rate overly sweet artificial concoctions,” says Coleman, “Gingeroo aims to change these opinions.”

BIG EASY UP AND COMERS ATELIER VIE BUCK 25 VODKA, TOULOUSE RED ABSINTHE ROUGE ateliervie.com Artist and musician Jedd Haas dreamed about opening a distillery for years. He had been fascinated with mass production following an apprenticeship in electronics manufacturing years ago. An abundance of government red tape almost killed his longstanding dream of opening a distillery in New Orleans. But after two years of work, Haas’ distillery, Atelier Vie, debuted its first product — Buck 25 Vodka — in September. Buck 25 is a 125-proof product designed to be used as an infusion vodka by bartenders and chefs. The high proof enables bartenders to add flavors to the vodka without diluting it too much. In December, Atelier Vie released its signature spirit — Toulouse Red, a red absinthe distilled in the traditional style using wormwood, fennel and anise, which are all sourced from local Louisiana growers. “It is very versatile. It is colored using red hibiscus flowers, and has a candy-like taste with notes of licorice,” says Haas. Toulouse Red can be found around Baton Rouge and New Orleans. Haas says he is looking forward to many years and more Atelier Vie products.

SOC AU LAIT DISTILLERIE, SEERSUCKER VODKA neworleansvodkas.com Back in 2009, Ian Nygren and Jeff Rogers had a dream of opening a distillery that would provide New Orleans with a locally made top-shelf vodka. After a lengthy battle with the city’s planning commission, all of the distillery’s permits are finally in place, and the final renovations are being made to an old warehouse at Claiborne Avenue and Bienville Street. By the end of summer, Nygren and Rogers’ efforts will come to fruition when Seersucker Vodka hits the shelves. When asked about the name Seersucker, Nygren continued July 18, 2013

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the various festivals and holidays that are unique to South Louisiana.

CAJUN SPIRITS DISTILLERY CRESCENT VODKA, TRESILLO RUM cajunspirits.com Gus Haik, founder of Cajun Spirits Distillery, was born and raised in New Orleans, but after he graduated from Ben Franklin High School, both duty and wanderlust called. He departed his native city for about 10 years to join the Navy as an engineer, where he learned how to turn seawater into drinking water for thirsty sailors. After 10 years at sea, Haik returned to his native city and began working for Celebration Distillery, where he fell in love with the process of distilling spirits. In 2010, he founded his own company — Cajun Spirits. Haik’s Poydras Street distillery in the Third Ward will officially open in September. Haik purchases a special type of sugarcane straight from the grower. He plans on using high quality Louisiana sugarcane to produce both Crescent Vodka and Tresillo Rum.

BITTERMENS BITTERS BITTERS says, “To me, Seersucker says quality Southern culture, and we are creating a quality vodka for the people of New Orleans.” Eventually, Soc Au Lait wants to create flavored vodkas that coordinate with

bittermens.com Avery and Janet Glasser’s journey to move Bittermens Bitters to metro New Orleans has spanned three cities. After stops in San Francisco, New York and Boston, the couple made the decision to

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move their distillery to Elmwood Park Boulevard about a year ago, because they said New Orleans was a more affordable, business friendly environment with an active port. Their goal was to create small batch bitters with innovative flavors and help revive the rich cocktail history of the Crescent City. In January, the Glassers started producing the first bitters locally since the Sazerac Company uprooted Peychaud’s Bitters to Kentucky ages ago. Bittermens Xocolatl Mole Bitters is the distillery’s original creation and its best seller. The secret recipe consists of combination of cacao, cinnamon and spices. These ingredients were originally designed to be paired with tequila, but the Glassers say they can be mixed with almost any brown liquor to add a bit of flavor. With its line of bitters doing so well, producing a line of liqueurs was a natural next step for Bittermens. The distillery’s New Orleans Coffee Liqueur pays homage to its new home. It is a blend of coffee, organic chicory root, cacao nibs, vanilla and candi syrup. The result is a complex coffee liquor that, when substituted for Kahlua, makes a White Russian worthy of The Big Lebowski. The Glassers’ latest endeavor is an import operation they have coined Vendetta Spirits. The goal is to import small batch liquors and syrups from around the world. Janet Glasser sees Vendetta as a pioneer in the “nano-importing” industry. Basically, Vendetta

watches out for the little guys and gives them an opportunity to distribute in the U.S. The company’s most recent import hails from the U.K. and is a dry gin based on a classic 1800s recipe called Jensen’s Bermondsey Gin.

ACADIANA ENTREPRENEURS RANK WILDCAT SWEET CRUDE RUM rankwildcat.com For about a year now, a handmade still called Lulu has been the lady in David Meaux’s and Cole LeBlanc’s lives on weekends and holidays. For now, these two petroleum land men have kept their day jobs, but devote most of their time off to cranking out their premium rum called Sweet Crude. Meaux and LeBlanc have done everything from building Lulu, who was named after a pot-bellied pig, to handdipping the top of each bottle of Sweet Crude in hot wax. The name Rank Wildcat roots from Meaux’s and LeBlanc’s time in the oil industry. Wildcat is an industry term for a long-shot oil well. When asked what sets Sweet Crude apart from other rums, Meaux says, “We do not use blackstrap molasses in our fermentations. It creates a harsh distillate that we found unpalatable. Our quest was to create a wash that would be as close in composition to natural sugar cane juice as possible.” Rank Wildcat only uses premium cane sugar and molasses from the M.A. Patout & Son Sugar Mill in Jeanerette — the oldest and largest family-

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years. But no one had ever said, “Look at all the sugarcane. Why hasn’t anyone made rum?” until the Peltiers were vacationing with Dr. Tom and Beth Donner. Tom Donner, also a Louisiana native, had grown up around the cane fields and constantly wondered why people weren’t turning the sugarcane into rum. Ideas were exchanged, partnerships formed, a 3,000 liter copper still was imported from Germany, and the Donner-Peltier Distillery opened in November. The distillery’s first offering was a vodka made with long grain Louisiana rice from Crowley. They called it “Oryza” which means rice in Latin. “It is very smooth with a subtle sweet taste and a LOUISIANA SPIRITS LLC creamy finish,” says Jennifer Peltier. “It is BAYOU RUM a neutral spirit with character.” bayourum.com Shortly after Christmas, the myth of After years of talking, Trey and Tim the Cajun monster known as the Litel, along with their longtime friend Rougaroux was reborn when the distillery Skip Cortese, decided to take the plunge launched Sugarshine Rougaroux, a clear and jump into the rum business. Their 101 proof “rum moonshine” with a bold three-year journey is now paying off as but sweet taste. The judges at the San Bayou Rum rolls into stores. Francisco World Spirits competition Trey Litel says it is the rum’s his- didn’t fear the Cajun werewolf; they torical “Sugar House” recipe, which has awarded Sugarshine a Double Gold Medal been updated to incorporate modern dis- earlier this year. The Rougaroux family tilling methods, that makes it so special. has now grown to include Rougaroux Full Only the best raw unrefined sugar and Moon Dark Rum and Rougaroux 13 molasses are used. This helps to create a Pennies, a praline flavored rum. smoother rum that mixes well and is also The distillery’s latest release is Oryza able to stand alone. Bayou Rum is avail- Gin — a vodka-based gin infused with able in two varieties: Bayou Silver Rum botanicals and satsuma. and Spiced Bayou Rum. Donner-Peltier hopes to debut Around Memorial Day weekend, the Louisiana’s first whiskey since Prohibition company held its Inaugural Toast party at sometime around Christmas. LA-1 is a L’Auberge Hotel and Casino in Lake combination of rye, corn, rice and chocoCharles. “Managing our own expectations late malt, and is named after the longest has been the hardest part,” says Trey Litel. highway in Louisiana. “But good things take time, and we have a very good thing.” THE FUTURE Louisiana Spirits is located off I-10 at It is unclear how many more Lacassine. A visitor center offers tours, a Louisianans will make their way into the tasting room, and a gift shop that sells spirits industry, but the future looks bright Bayou Rum as well as souvenirs. “We are for the craft distilling in the Pelican State. very proud of it. It is truly a tourist desti- Hopefully, with some hard work, a profnation,” Trey Litel says. itable industry that promotes both Louisiana products and tourism can be DONNER-PELTIER DISTILLERS established. “I would like to see Louisiana ORYZA VODKA & GIN; looked at as the American capitol of rum,” ROUGAROUX RUM Coleman says. “It could come into it’s dp-distillers.com own like the Bourbon Trail in Kentucky.” Jennifer Peltier never thought she The majority of the distilleries proand her husband, Dr. Henry Peltier, would filed will be sponsoring events and offerbe co-owners of a distillery. Henry ing tastings at Tales of the Cocktail in Peltier’s family had been involved in the New Orleans July 17-21. For more inforLouisiana sugar industry for over 75 mation, visit talesofthecocktail.com run sugar mill in Louisiana. Right now, Rank Wildcat is cranking out about 40 cases of rum a month and is barely keeping up with demand, and plans are to continue to grow. Meaux says the best compliment he gets is when he wins over skeptics. “At first, people are hesitant to try (the rum). But after their first taste, their faces light up, and they will make their friend try a sip,” he says. “We make a damned good product.” By the end of the year, Rank Wildcat hopes to have its Black Crude, a rum aged in 12-year bourbon barrels, on the shelves in Acadiana.

July 18, 2013

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IMPERIAL CALCASIEU’S BEST KEPT SECRET Wilkinson Tree Farm A One Of A Kind (And Out Of The Way) Business In SWLA • By Karla Wall

ilkinson Tree Farm isn’t a business you just happen across. Located on Hwy. 383 8.5 miles north of Iowa, it’s difficult to find even when you’re looking for it. It’s not even visible from the highway. A small sign directs you onto a long, winding road far back into the property. “You have to want to get here,” says owner Jay Wilkinson. “But once they’re here, most people enjoy being here.” It’s true. For tree, plant and nature lovers, Wilkinson’s 70-plus acre farm, covered with mature oaks, citrus trees, pecan trees and palms, and accented by a small lake, is simply a nice place to spend a couple of hours. But, Wilkinson admits, the location does call for some concessions. “Visitation is by appointment only,” Wilkinson says. That’s not to be exclusive, he explains, but to ensure that someone’s in the office to help you when you arrive. Wilkinson is often out with his crew of three employees planting, watering, fertilizing or transplanting, and not in the office. “This is a long drive for most people,” he says. “If you drive all this way, and find there’s no one here to help you, you’re going to be a little mad.” But Wilkinson says he also requires appointments and visits because he requires all customers to pick out their trees personally. You can’t just call and order. “We want every customer to be as satisfied as possible,” says Wilkinson.

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July 18, 2013

Though the location’s idyllic, it’s not ideal. But, says Wilkinson, the property’s paid for, purchased 35 years ago. “The land’s paid for, the house is paid for, what more can you ask?” he says.

“IT BLOSSOMED INTO THIS” Wilkinson worked for 23 years as in civil construction, doing dirt work, while raising cattle on the property he’d purchased. “I bought a tree spade to move trees on the properties I was working on to my farm, and people started wanting me to move trees and wanting trees from the farm. One thing led to another. It just blossomed into this.” “This” is one of only four farms of its kind in the state, Wilkinson says. Wilkinson opened the tree farm 14 years ago, and over that time it’s evolved into 70 acres planted with over 25,000 trees of all kinds and at many stages of growth, from 4 in. to 12 in. in diameter. There are trees in containers from 30 gallons to 300 gallons. “We sell trees in all stages of development,” Wilkinson says. “It

means we have to constantly plant to keep the cycle going. That means we have to guess what people are going to want six or seven years from now.” The size and maturity of Wilkinson’s trees is what sets the farm apart, he says. Wilkinson sells his shade trees at about six to seven years old. “I saw a need for larger, more mature trees,” Wilkinson says. “People don’t want to wait years for a tree to grow, especially fruit trees. You might say I’m selling time.” He also saw the need for field-grown cold-hardy palms, and added them to the farm about eight years ago. There are several types of palms at Wilkinson, including Queen Palm, Mexican Fan Palm, Canary Island Palm and Sylvestri Palm.

His most popular tree? By far, he says, it’s a hybrid oak shade tree called a Cathedral Oak, a cross between a Live Oak and a Willow Oak. “The Cathedral Oak is much denser, and much prettier, than a pure live oak or willow oak,” he says. There are a wide variety of trees, however, at Wilkinson, including Cathedral Oaks, Red Oaks, Live Oaks, Willow Oaks, Yellow Oaks, Marsh Oaks, Sawtooth Oaks, Ash, Cypress, Crepe Myrtle and Bottlebrush. Fruit trees are also popular, and Wilkinson shows me a huge variety, including kumquats, figs, pear, satsuma, Meyer lemon, naval orange, apple and fig.

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WILKINSON TREE FARM continued

both 65-in. and 90-in. spades (which cut holes 65 in. wide x 50 in. deep, and 90 in. wide x 60 in. deep, respectively), and unique “pod” trailers that can safely transport large uprooted trees along with dirt and root system, he can safely uproot and haul trees of any size. So safely, in fact, that Wilkinson guarantees his trees for one full year after transplant. He has no problem standing behind his work: he boasts a 98-percent success rate on his transplants. “We do whatever it takes to keep from stressing the tree during transplant,” he says. “We use 50-gallon plastic cans with holes in the bottom to constantly hydrate the tree before transplanting. We take in enough of the surrounding dirt to ensure we get all of the root system. And once we transplant the tree, we water it in, mulch it, and apply vitamins and hormones. We do everything to keep the tree from being stressed.”

“I LOVE WHAT I DO” Asked to list the hardships that go along with what he does, Wilkinson says there are quite a few. He’s a farmer, and growing trees carries the difficulties experienced when growing any other crop: mainly weather related. “In the summer, when I need the rain, it doesn’t rain. When I don’t need the rain, in the winter, we get too much rain,” he says. High summer temps and little rain mean that watering is a constant concern. “We constantly check the irrigation systems and the water supply,” he says. “In the summer heat, even two to three days without water can mean a loss of $250,000.” Then there’s another difficulty farmers of all types know all too well: It’s an awful lot of hard work. “You can work yourself to death in a business like this,” Wilkinson says. “At 40 hours a week, the normal work week for most people, we’re just getting warmed up.” There’s the constant battle to stay ahead of pests and diseases, spraying almost continuously, in a neverending cycle. “By the time we get one area done, it’s time to start all over again in another area,” Wilkinson says. There’s cutting grass; there’s maintaining the soil around the trees’ root balls to facilitate easy and safe transplant; there’s weed control; and fertilizing. There’s also dealing with wildlife, particularly deer and rabbits. “Deer have often eaten apples from my apple trees, and also plums. One year, the deer did so much damage trying to get to the apples that we just picked them all.” Also, Wilkinson has to watch for cross-pollination from bees. In fact, he points out a palm in the middle of a row of palms, one that doesn’t quite look like the ones on either side of it. “That’s a cross between two different kinds of palms,” he says. It occurred naturally, he says, the result of bees. But, he says, despite the hardships, he wouldn’t want to do anything else. “I love what I do,” he says. “I love working outdoors, I love living here. I wouldn’t want to do anything else.” July 18, 2013

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WORTHY OF A GALLERY Unique Decorative Tiles Add Artistic Touch

reative Concepts in Lake Charles offers a unique item that can add an artistic touch to just about anything, from kitchen backsplashes to bathrooms to hallways, from unique awards to tabletop displays. Decorative artistic tiles are a bigselling item at Creative Concepts, says owner Denise Foster. “You can do almost anything with them,” she says. Creative Concepts sells four different sizes of tiles — 4 x 4, 6 x 6, 8 x 8, and 4 x 6. What makes them really unique is that they’re custom made using photos or scanned art. The image is heat

bonded to the tile, and the result is a beautiful decorative item that is unique to the owner. People have used the larger tiles as a border along the tops of walls, in kitchen backsplashes and in many other areas of the home. Or as a “trinket” to display on tabletops or countertops in the home. “Louisiana scenes are a popular choice,” says Foster, who adds that the tiles sold at Creative Concepts often display the work of local photographer Brenda Lafleur. “We’ve done tiles featuring Brenda’s photos of Historic City Hall, of Lake Charles, and of the city skyline,” says Foster. But any art can be displayed on a tile. One of the projects Creative Concepts will be working on shortly is with a local school. “The students will create artwork to be displayed on tiles in the school hallway,” says Foster. “The tiles will be used to create a mural in the school.” The tiles have also been used for special awards, says Foster; in fact, one such award is what she considers her most unique project. “(The award) was for a worker from the Cameron Parish Police Jury,” she

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explains. “We used a photo of the Cameron Courthouse, and a photo of the Cameron Parish seal.” The result is a colorful, artistic image with outstanding clarity. “We also did a tile for The Catholic Daughters of America, for their Family of the Year award. We used a photo of an open bible as a backdrop, and superimposed a crucifix, and then over that, the logo of the Catholic Daughters of America, and the names of the family members.” The purple hues that dominate the piece are amazing, and the clarity, again, equals some of the best photography around. And that’s typical of these tiles. The process by which the images are bonded to the tile results in true full-color, photo-quality images that are worthy of display in a gallery. The process is called dye sublimation, explains Foster. A piece of art or photo is scanned, and a special printer using sublimation ink cartridges prints the image on specially designed paper. The image is then bonded to the tile using heat — a temperature of 385 to 400 degrees. For tiles, the heat bonding process, or baking, takes about 7 minutes. The ink is actually infused into the tile during the process, creating a glossy, full-color image. And because any image can be transferred to multiple tiles, it’s possible to create murals using numerous tiles. “The process has been around for about five years now,” says Foster. And dye sublimation can be used for much more than decorative tile. It’s also used to bond images to mugs, coasters, computer mousepads and wristpads, iPhone covers, even license plates. For more information on the dye sublimation process or decorative tiles, call 474-3406.

THE AGE OF DISCRIMINATION

ith age comes wisdom, which should be an asset in the workplace. But ageism, or discrimination against older persons in the workplace, has become a booming problem. For decades, hard-working American Baby Boomers kept their eye on the prize: retirement. Now that the oldest of the Boomers have passed age 65, they are finding they want to — or need to — continue working. Their employers don’t always agree, and workers over the age of 55 have been especially hard-hit during the recent economic downturn. Unemployment among workers 55 and over is at its highest level since the Labor Dept. began collecting data in 1948. Older workers not only are enduring record-high levels of unemployment, but also stay jobless longer than others, according to the Labor Dept., typically taking three months longer to find employment than the average job seeker. “Great strides have been made in eliminating racism and sexism from the workplace, but ageism is often an overlooked bias, says Keri ForbessMcCorquodale, MS, CEAP, LPC, LMFT, owner of Solutions Counseling and EAP. “Once workers hit 50 or 55, they start to worry about how their age is perceived and whether they will be passed over for a job or promotion, or let go if their company faces cutbacks. In a tighter economy, this problem has become more of an issue.”

UNEMPLOYMENT AMONG WORKERS 55 AND OVER IS AT ITS HIGHEST LEVEL SINCE THE LABOR DEPT. BEGAN COLLECTING DATA IN 1948. OLDER WORKERS NOT ONLY ARE ALSO STAY JOBLESS LONGER THAN OTHERS. Forbess-McCorquodale says unlike other types of discrimination, ageism is difficult to identify. Employers often use early retirement plans, restructuring and downsizing to cull older workers. Many are denied promotions, terminated and unwillingly ushered into earlier-than-planned retirements. According to the Sloan Center on Aging and Work at Boston College, age discrimination lawsuits have been increasing dramatically over the last five years, but the cases are difficult to prove because ageism is committed more on a case-bycase basis. Forbess-McCorquodale says another factor that contributes to ageism in the

the stereotype of older workers being outdated, slow, tired and forgetful — whether you’re on the job or interviewing. Appearance counts. Dress the part for whatever position you have, and don’t be afraid to change with the times. Be enthusiastic, energetic and willing to do what it takes to get the job done.” Forbess-McCorquodale also advises looking into which companies have friendly hiring policies towards mature workers. Don’t overlook the importance of networking. “This is an advantage you have over younger people,” she says. “You’ve been out in the world; you know people.” Fortunately, all is not doom and gloom for older workers. “Older workers have a lot to offer, and many companies realize this,” ForbessMcCorquodale says. “In addition to experience, older workers are typically more reliable and professional, and have better writing and communication skills than those just entering the workforce. The key is making sure your employer or prospective employer recognizes that.” workplace is society’s view of age. “We all make jokes about getting older, buy birthday cards that say someone is ‘over the hill,’” she says. “There are no societal sanctions against insulting someone’s age, compared to making a negative remark about someone’s sex, religion or race. This makes it much more difficult to eliminate bias in the workplace.” There are steps older workers can take to minimize the potential for discrimination against themselves based on their age. A carefully written resume can help. Career experts suggest removing the dates from your education and your earliest work history. Forbess-McCorquodale says many people believe that you can’t be asked your age during an interview, but that’s a myth. “It’s not illegal to ask a person’s age; it’s illegal to use a person’s age to discriminate against them in a hiring decision. But again, this is difficult to prove. Keeping your exact age vague on your resume can increase the odds of your getting in the door for an interview and of your being judged on your qualifications.” It’s also important for older workers to keep their skills current, particularly when it comes to computer and digital technology. “Seek out opportunities to learn new skills to make sure you don’t lag behind younger co-workers and job seekers,” Forbess-McCorquodale says. “This is critical for everyone in the fast-paced world we live in, but even more important when you feel your age might be a negative factor.” And, Forbess-McCorquodale adds, perception is everything. “You may be a grandmother, but you don’t have to look or act like one.” Fight

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John Watts • Tonnage Sales Office (337) 558-6185 July 18, 2013

Responsible Care® A Public Commitment

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CAMERON FISHING FESTIVAL FEATURES FISHING, FOOD, LIVE MUSIC, FIREWORKS AND MORE The Cameron Fishing Festival will take place from noon August 2 through 5 pm August 4 at the Cameron Jetty Pavilion.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 2 Noon - Gates, vendor booths and weigh station open and youth activities and games begin 5 pm - Weigh station closes 6 pm - Blessing of the Fleet 7:30 pm - Chubby Carrier 10:00 pm - Geno Delafose

SATURDAY, AUGUST 3 8:30 am - Gates open; Courtbouillion Cook-Off registration 9 am - Courtbouillion Cook-Off begins; youth area opens Noon - Weigh station opens 2 pm - Courtbouillion Cook-Off ends 3:30 pm - Courtbouillion Cook-Off awards presentation 4 pm - Steel Shot 5 pm - Weigh station closes 6 pm - Live auction begins 7:30 pm - Ryan Foret & Foret Tradition 9:30 pm - Fireworks Over the Jetties 10 pm - G.G. Shinn & T.K. Hulin

SUNDAY, AUGUST 4 Noon - Gates, vendor booths and weigh station open. 3 pm - Weigh station closes 4 pm - Fishing awards presented; door prizes drawn

BROWN'S NEIGHBORHOOD MARKET IN GRAND LAKE

Gulf Hwy • 4 Miles S. of LC Airport • 337-905-3013 Open 6AM to 9PM 7 Days a Week!

BROWN'S

FOOD CENTER IN HACKBERRY 620 Main St. • 337-762-4632 Open 5AM to 9PM 7 Days a Week!

• USDA Choice Heavy Beef • Specialty Meats • Fresh Baked Bread • Deli Sandwiches • Fresh Produce Located on both sides of the Creole Nature Trail ... come see us soon!

FISHING TRIP?

BE SURE TO STOP BY EITHER LOCATION! 76

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Ryan Foret and Foret Tradition hit the stage on Aug. 2

Food will be served. There will be pageants during the festival. The festival is sponsored by the Cameron Lions Club. All money raised goes to community youth programs and organizations, the Louisiana Lions Crippled Children’s Camp in Leesville, the Louisiana Lions Eye Foundation in New Orleans and the Cameron Lions Club Scholarship Program. Passes are $10 day or $15 for the weekend. Youths under 12 attend free. For information, call (337) 794-9533.

SWLA FISHING CLUB'S 75TH ANNUAL FISHING RODEO MOVED TO JULY 19-21 A NOTE FROM THE CLUB PRESIDENT: As the president of the Southwest Fishing Club and on behalf of our Board of Directors, I extend to you the best wishes for good fishing during the rodeo on July 19th, 20th and 21st, 2013. Our club has worked hard all year to insure that you will have the best organized fishing rodeo on the Gulf Coast. I would like to thank all our club members, especially the tournament director Louis Vallee, for all the time sacrificed to make this rodeo a success. A special thanks to all the many local businesses within the program who have continued to offer their support. Entering this tournament also helps the Children's Miracle Network, which is a great way to give back to the children to our area. Miracles are created by funding medical care, research, and education that saves and improves the lives of children in our community. The Southwest Louisiana Fishing Club is proud to offer a family-oriented fishing rodeo. We have divisions for the whole family ... average anglers, lady anglers, as well as junior anglers. We are always looking for new members to join our Fishing Club family. For more information, please check out www.swlafishingclub.org. HAPPY FISHING TO ALL and remember ... keep safety first and follow the tournament rules. "FISH ON!" ___ Keith Boone, President

July 18, 2013

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ANNUAL AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY BENEFIT

Parker Brand Creative

The American Cancer Society’s Candles and Cocktails: “A Birthday Under the Big Top,” is an annual fund-raiser hosted by the Isle of Capri Casino Hotel to raise dollars toward the fight against cancer. This year’s event will take place July 27 and will feature a dinner prepared by the chef at the Isle of Capri, a gourmet funnel cake station, a silent and live auction and other “Big Top” fun. Local sounds of the Street Side Jazz Band will entertain the crowd during dinner. The night will conclude with dancing and fun with the returning sounds of Bottoms Up, a party cover band from the Baton Rouge area. Theresa Needham will serve as the EMCEE for the evening, and Philip de’Albuquerque will serve as the event auctioneer. Event sponsors include the Isle of Capri Casino Hotel, Hertz Investments, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Louisiana, and First Federal Bank of Louisiana. Along with the event, the American Cancer Society is also celebrating 100 years as a life-saving organization. There are currently 250 seats reserved for the event, but a few tickets are still available. Tickets are $100 per person or $1,000 for a reserved table of 8. For more information, call the American Cancer Society at 433-5817 ext. 5.

TICKETS ON SALE FOR ACTS FUNDRAISER

ARTS & CRABS FEST The Arts Council, the Lake Charles/SWLA Convention & Visitors Bureau, and KVHP/FOX29/the CW will host the fourth annual Arts & Crabs Fest Saturday, Aug. 17, 5-8 pm, at the Lake Charles Civic Center Coliseum. The event, open only to those 21 and older, celebrates the ties between Louisiana seafood and culture and showcases the importance of supporting the areas creative economy. It will include a crab and beer tasting featuring dishes from 15 local restaurants. Louisiana craft brews will be served as complementary pairings to each dish. There will also be a culinary battle with a panel of mystery judges, with an opportunity for guests to vote on a people’s choice winner, live music and interactive cultural activities. Funds raised at the event are reinvested in the SWLA community through the Arts Council’s services and programs. Tickets are $25 and available online at artsandcrabsfest.eventbrite.com. Event sponsorship packages are available as well as Arts Council memberships, which offer a wide range of benefits. For more information, call the Arts Council at 439-2787.

DUTCH OVEN SOCIETY COOKOUT The Southwest Chapter of the Louisiana Dutch Oven Society will host its monthly cookout Saturday, July 27, 10 am-2 pm, at Sam Houston Jones State Park. The event is open to all who wish to cook or bring an item for the cast iron buffet lunch. Participants can also enjoy homemade root beer. Le Chien Cookers will demonstrate the art of camp style outdoor cooking and will be available to answer questions and help others get started Dutch oven cooking. The menu will include Dutch oven entrees, iced tea, cold salads, cold soups, watermelon and desserts. For more information, contact Dwayne or Randy at 302-5025 or 9129394, or visit ladutch.com or LeChienCookers.com.

PELVIC PAIN SEMINAR Lake Charles Memorial will host a free seminar on pelvic pain and urinary incontinence Thursday, July 25, at noon, in the hospital’s Shearman Conference Center on Oak Park Blvd. LCMH physical therapist Johnnie Kleinschmidt will discuss non-surgical solutions, including a conservative self-help program of strengthening exercises and biofeedback, which can help women and men of all ages. Reservations are required at least 24 hours in advance, and a light lunch will be provided. For more information or to reserve a seat, visit www.lcmh.com/seminar or call 494-2936. The seminar can also be viewed live at lcmh/watch.

MSU ART EXHIBIT The McNeese Department of Visual Arts will host the Foundation Design Juried Exhibition through Aug. 30 in the Abercrombie Gallery of the Shearman Fine Arts Center at McNeese State University. The exhibition will feature student work from the basic design and art and the computer classes, which are foundation courses taught in the department of visual arts. Abercrombie Gallery hours are 9 am- 4 pm Monday-Friday. For more info, contact the McNeese Department of Visual Arts at 475-5060. 78

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Tickets are on sale for ACTS Theatre Lake Charles’ fundraiser production “My Favorite Things.” With a donation of $25, patrons to the event will experience a variety of songs and dances that are favorites of the performers and partake in a reception of wine, soft drinks and finger foods. The fundraiser will aid in the maintenance of the ACTS Theatre building, which is over 100 years old. The event is scheduled for Saturday, Aug. 10, 7:30 pm, with a reception prior beginning at 6:30 pm; and Sunday, Aug. 11, 3 pm, with a reception prior beginning at 2 pm. Both performances are at ACTS One Reid Street theatre. Tickets for “My Favorite Things” can be purchased at actstheatre.com, the Lake Charles Civic Center box office, Lakeshore Medic Pharmacy on Enterprise Boulevard, Moss Bluff Flower and Gift, or at the door as they remain available.

LOCAL DISC GOLF COURSE DEDICATION A dedication and ribbon cutting for The Bob Rodgers Memorial Disc Golf Course at Sam Houston Jones State Park will be held at 2 pm Sunday, July 21. The ceremony will be followed by open play on the course, with prizes. The 18-hole course begins near the Longleaf Pine Trail and continues through the park. Bob Rodgers’ son-in-law Joe Thacker, with the help of volunteers, designed the course and assisted with much of the work throughout the project. Visit the course’s Facebook page for additional information. Named in honor of disc golf enthusiast and Lake Charles native Bob Rodgers, the course is now available daily to park visitors from dawn until dusk at no additional charge above the park entrance fee. For more info, call 588-4270.

KREWE DE KAROLINE POKER RUN The Krewe de Karoline will host its fourth annual poker run benefiting the West Calcasieu Cameron Genesis Therapeutic Riding Center Aug. 10, 8:30 am-until, at Wayne and Layne’s Deli and Bar. Registration and breakfast will begin at 8:30 am ending with the last bike out at 10 am. Plate lunches will be served at 11 am; there will be live music from noon-until; last bike in will be at 4:30 pm; prizes will be given, and an after party and a live and silent auction will begin at 5 pm. Riders cost $20 and passengers cost $15. Those who pre-register by July 29 will receive a free t-shirt and lunch. For more info, call Karen Campbell at 274-9155.

GULF COAST BIRD CLUB WALK The Gulf Coast Bird Club will hold its monthly beginner’s bird walk Saturday, July 27, 7-9 am, at Sam Houston Jones State Park. The walk will begin from the riverside picnic pavilion. Experienced club members will guide the walk. Participants will learn basic birding skills by sight and sound. A spotting scope will be available for close up views of the local birds. No experience is required. For more information, contact David Booth at 474-7325 or visit http://sites.google.com/site/gulfcoastbirdclub/.

ACTS AUDITIONS Artists Civic Theatre and Studio Lake Charles will hold auditions for its upcoming production of The Secret Garden. Auditions will be held Sunday, July 28, at 3 pm, and Monday, July 29, at 6:30 pm at the ACTS Theatre, 1 Reid St. in Lake Charles. Actors are asked to register starting at 2:30 pm on Sunday and 6 pm on Monday. The production opens ACTS’ 48th season. Performances are scheduled for Oct. 11-13 and 18-20. The cast calls for both male and female adult actors, as well as boys and girls able to play characters 9-11 years old. Actors with any level of experience are welcome. Actors auditioning will be asked to do a cold reading of lines taken from the script of the play. The Secret Garden, written by Sylvia Ashby, was adapted from Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic novel. Set in the early years of the 20th century, the play tells the story of Mary Lennox, a sullen and spoiled young orphan who is sent to live with her brooding uncle at gloomy Misselthwaite Manor. Discovering a hidden, neglected garden, Mary plants the seeds of new life for all those drawn into her secret refuge.

MUSICAL THEATRE WORKSHOP The Children’s Theatre Workshop will hold a workshop on musical theatre July 29-Aug. 2 at Central School, 809 Kirby St. The workshop, the final workshop of CTC’s 2012 Summer Starz series, is open to students ages 5-18. It’s designed to introduce newcomers to the world of musical theatre and challenge young veterans to perfect advanced theatrical concepts and production techniques. Students will learn musical theatre techniques by acting, singing and dancing to songs from Broadway shows. The final class features the students in a performance demonstration highlighting the musical theatre skills learned. Cost is $85. No experience is needed. For more information or to register, contact the theatre at 433-7323, or visit childrenstheatre.cc.

NEW THEATRE AIMS FOR SOCIAL UNITY Stage Presents Theatre was founded in May 2013 by Lake Charles residents Tiffany M. Garrick and Angel S. Harris to further multicultural perspectives and promote understanding and acceptance among different racial, ethnic and cultural groups. The theatre produces and performs plays written by African, African-American, Asian, Latino and Native American playwrights to provide a wellrounded cultural and artistic experience. Stage Presents Theatre is currently preparing its first production, Blues for an Alabama Sky by Pearl Cleage. Set in Harlem during the Great Depression, the play brings together a rich cast of characters who reflect the conflicting currents of the time through their overlapping personalities and politics. Some subject matter may not be appropriate for children younger than 13. The play stars Anthony Burns as Leland, Kendahl Garrick as Guy, Regina Joseph as Angel, Nettra Soileau as Delia and Dwayne West as Sam. Stage Presents Theatre will perform Blues for an Alabama Sky on Friday, Aug. 2, 7 pm; Saturday, Aug. 3, 7 pm; and Sunday, Aug. 4, at 1 pm at Central School Arts and Humanities Center, Room 108, 809 Kirby St. General admission is $15 Aug. 2-3 and $10 Aug. 4. A discount is available for purchases of 10 or more tickets. Tickets can be purchased at stagepresentstheatre. eventbrite.com. For more information, contact stagepresentstheatre@gmail.com.

ARTIST’S RECEPTION Linda Gleason Ritchie’s reception will take place Aug. 1, 5:30 pm-8 pm, at Gallery By The Lake at 106 W. Pryce St. in Lake Charles. The event will be an art show all are invited to see. Light refreshments and wine will be served.

July 18, 2013

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THURSDAY, JULY 18 Coushatta Legends in Concert; Big J & Zydeco Dogpound Dharma Classy Nude w Poppy Red Isle of Capri Derryl Perry L’Auberge Society Purple Reign (Prince Tribute); Jack After Dark DJ Sno Luna Live TBA

Cigar Club Paul Gonsoulin Coushatta Legends in Concert; Orphan Annie Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma Jaylotus, Young Hedons, When the Word Was Sound Isle of Capri Joe Harmon & The Harmonics; Jo Dee Messia L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Eric Scott Luna Live Fayroy & Television Men Yesterdays Wayne Toups & Zydecajun

THURSDAY, JULY 25

FRIDAY, JULY 26

Coushatta Legends in Concert; Leroy Thomas & Zydeco Roadrunner Dharma Open mic 8 pm Isle of Capri Phillip Glyn L’Auberge Liquid Society Everclear, Live, Filter & Liquid Society 311; Jack After Dark DJ CaGe Luna Live TBA

Cigar Club Hold Fast Fables Coushatta Legends in Concert; No Idea Delta Downs Larry Tillery Dharma Hello Chief, We Are Wombat, Wooden Wings & Certain Satellites Isle of Capri Jack Goes Country Jackson L’Auberge Jack Goes Country Jackson Taylor & The Sinners Luna Large Marge, Deadman Circus, Gods Forgotten Yesterdays Twangsters Union

karaoke Annie's 9pm Friday; Saturday Bourbonz 8pm Tuesdays Chicageaux Bar 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Club 90 8pm Saturday Coolers Thursday Crickets 8:30pm Friday DeQuincy VFW 7-11pm Friday; 6-10pm Sunday

FRIDAY, JULY 19

Dirty Rice Saloon 7pm Thursday Frosty Factory 9pm Thurs thru Sat Handlebars Club Tuesdays & Thursdays Huddle Up Thursdays Isle Of Capri 8pm-Midnight Wednesday Kaw-Ligas Tuesday thru Saturday Mike's Place 8pm-until M,W,F Linda's Lounge 8:30-11:30 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; 9-1 Saturday Neighborhood Bar 7pm Thursday No Name Lounge 8-Mid Friday, 7-11pm Sunday Old Town Tavern Fri/Sat Nights

SATURDAY, JULY 20 Cigar Club Jimmy Partin Coushatta Legends in Concert; Orphan Annie Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma “Flow and Tell” w Slangston Isle of Capri Corey Ledet L'Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Sno Luna Live TBA Yesterdays Damon Troy & Final Five

SATURDAY, JULY 27 Cigar Club Street Side Jazz Band Coushatta Legends in Concert; No Idea Delta Downs Larry Tillery Dharma Bujie & The Highrise & The Dubonauts L’Auberge DJ CaGe Yesterdays Da Classics

R-Bar 8pm Friday Sam's Cove 9pm Thursday Shorty's Ice House 9pm Friday Slim's Yesteryears 9pm Thursday Spot Bar & Grill Fridays Sports Pitt 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sulphur VFW 9pm-Mid Saturday Tiki Bar 8pm Friday Texas Longhorn Club 9pm Thursdays, 1am Fridays Fax listings to 433-8964 or edit@thelanyap.com

"Don’t Judge Too Quickly!" The Eiffel Tower in Paris is quite the site. That structure is more recognized than any other in the world. The huge iron tower was originally built for the 1889 Universal Exhibition by Gustave-Alexandre Eiffel, a French engineer. This same man designed the framework for the Statue of Liberty. For years, this was the tallest man-made structure in the world. Something that we need to remember is that this mammoth creation was fiercely denounced by thousands in Paris, especially by those who claimed to be experts in beautiful things. They started their criticism even before construction began. Some people called it a giraffe. Others called it the iron monster or the world’s greatest lamppost. Some even called it the Parisian Tower of Babel or metal asparagus. After the tower was completed, writer Guy de Maupassant ate lunch there every day because it was the only place in Paris, he claimed, from which he couldn’t see “the offensive thing.” I write this to remind us that we are sometimes wrong about things. We are sometimes wrong about people. We too often fall into the trap of making a quick judgement about something or someone. Sometimes an unfair judgement. The Eiffel Tower just needed a chance. Over time, it has become the symbol of Paris around the world. Maybe God has an important word to say to us today about making quick judgements. Maybe an Eiffel Tower is around us and we don’t even realize it. My prayer is that God will open my eyes today and forgive me for making quick judgements. Perhaps that is also your prayer. You are invited to worship at First Methodist: Sundays, 8:30 & 10:45 AM Corner of Broad and Kirkman • Radio broadcast: Sundays, 8:00AM on 100.5FM 80

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MOUNTED MEMORIES rocke "soybean" fournet

A Very Pressing Problem Please stop and think before you dump. Louisiana is a great place to live if you enjoy spending time in the great outdoors. It’s one of the simple pleasures of life to go cross country and just enjoy the view. Whether you enjoy cruising on foot or pedaling up a sweat by bike, it’s all good. The rice and soybean fields are greened up right now, offering some nice scenery. There are plenty of species of birds and critters to keep you entertained if you get bored. It’s free entertainment, and available to anyone who wishes to partake. There’s one very pressing problem that seems to grow like a cancer. This is serious stuff concerning the condition we leave this world for the next generation. It only takes a few bad apples to ruin it for everyone. Indiscriminate littering of public roadsides is a growing problem, and has long-term detrimental effects for everyone. A popular biking trail south of town is getting trashed consistently. Here’s a short list of trash and debris duly noted: tons of discarded plastic containers, beer and soda cans, fiberglass insulation, carpets and pads, rubber tires, furniture, mattresses

Pintail are one of the many species of migratory birds in our beautiful state.

and appliances. And when you think you’ve seen it all, keep on trucking. At a bridge crossing a canal was a fashionable, partially sub-

merged sofa and chair. The matching sofa and love seat were a contemporary set that was actually quite striking. Instead of dumping them on the side of the road like most litterers, this particular genius dumped them in the canal. Not only does the canal serve as a drainage ditch for the area, but also as a source for rice farmers flooding their fields. You can believe neither usages ever crossed the feeble minds of those breaking the law. It’s so nonsensical it’s hard to believe. Parish residents now have a dump at their disposal that will take almost any and all

debris. But some choose to break the law and deface the countryside, all in one fell swoop. The really bad news is the composition of most of the debris. Rubber tires and plastics will be there for a lifetime or until someone picks them up, so don’t hold your breath. The good news is on a return trip, the lovely sofa and chair had been removed from the canal. Probably either the parish or possibly a farmer had the honor, grief and considerable expense of taking them to the dump where they belonged in the first place. When there’s heavy rain, and water begins backing up into suburban neighborhoods, the source can be traced to debris clogging the drainage system. It’s a shame, but some people obviously don’t give a hoot about flooding or spoiling the view for everyone. It’s a lose versus lose situation. Think about a litter bag in your vehicle that can be neatly disposed of. And if you have heavy debris, think and simply visit a legal dump site. Littering is a bad habit that’s illegal. If you’re caught, you will pay. It’s not worth the risk, and the damage is irrevocable. Respect the beauty of Mother Nature and the right we all share to enjoy it. Louisiana is a beautiful place to live; let’s keep it that way! DO NOT LITTER!

July 18, 2013

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Athletic Republic Improves Speed, Agility, Strength • By Karla Wall

t’s a universally accepted fact that today’s youths aren’t as physically active as generations past. They don’t play sandlot baseball until sunset and beyond during the summer; they don’t spend hours in the city pool; they don’t skate on sidewalks, or run up and down hills. And the result of that inactivity is clear: Childhood obesity and poor health is on a rampant rise in the U.S. But perhaps the real danger to underactive kids comes when they decide to take up a sport. A teen who isn’t used to making his body move and who suddenly asks it to perform the necessary starts, stops, twists, turns and pounding of an active sport isn’t just ineffective. He’s in danger of injury. And that’s a situation that Scott Lounsberry, a former athletic trainer and owner of Athletic Republic in Sulphur, hopes to change. “Kids don’t know how to move,” says Lounsberry. “They don’t play in the neighborhood. They haven’t developed movement skills. And they only get three or four weeks of practice before being asked to take to the field or the court or the dia-

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July 18, 2013

Athletic Republic is an integral part of the female ACL study with Memorial Sports Medicine.

mond. We focus on movement skills. We develop movement skills first, because if you don’t have that, it’s all a waste of time. We teach muscles to accept the load required by sports. We teach kids how to start, stop and twist. We make them smarter athletes; we create more power and strength, sure, but we teach athletes how to best use that power and strength in their

sport.”

A SCIENTIFIC APPROACH Athletic Republic is a national franchise begun about 20 years ago by John Frappier, who sought to develop a cuttingedge physical training program based on input from medical professionals, elite coaches and athletic trainers. Frappier’s

first programs were focused on gymnastics, but evolved to include training for a wide variety of sports. Frappier and his associates developed training equipment that goes far beyond that found in a normal gym or fitness club. No arm curl machines here. Instead, you’ll find a Super Running Treadmill, which, Lounsberry says, will reach speeds much higher than a normal treadmill; it has a five-horsepower motor, whereas a normal treadmill has a one- or two-horsepower motor. It will also incline to a 40-percent grade, whereas normal treadmills incline to only a 20-percent grade. And that’s par for the course for the facility; everything is higher-tech, and more narrowly focused on physiology and movement. The Plyometric Board, a large raised wooden platform with a carefully adjusted amount of give. It’s not a springboard, Lounsberry explains. That would provide too much give. Instead, slats support the upper floor, providing just the right amount of give. Diamond-shaped figures painted onto the surface of the board are filled with numbers, all of which can be used in any

combination to create forward, backward strength training time in school,” says and lateral movement. Lounsberry. “But junior high school aged “The Plyometric Board improves hip kids, especially, need to learn technique so rotation, and improves turnover rate for they can use their time in the gym effecmuscles. It teaches the tively.” athlete how to be ready to The facility, which explode when his or her has been open for about a foot hits the ground.” year and a half now in its The Force Plate Maplewood Drive localooks like any leg press tion, has about 40 regular machine you see in fitclients using the facility. ness clubs, but is carefulAthletic Republic works ly designed to determine with football, basketball and monitor right and left and volleyball players; leg strength. and can develop a pro“Everything we do gram to enhance perhere has solid science formance in just about any behind it,” says sport. Lounsberry, SWLA Lounsberry works native who has a bachewith school teams from as lor’s in athletic training far away as Alexandria. WE TEACH from Texas Christian “We have athletes MUSCLES TO University. from Alexandria Senior ACCEPT THE While completing High who work out here,” his studies, Lounsberry he says. “They drive LOAD REQUIRED says he began to notice a down, stay in a hotel, and BY SPORTS. gap between the way athwork out the next day.” WE MAKE KIDS letes trained and what Lounsberry also SMARTER was actually required of works with school teams ATHLETES; them on the field or on an outreach basis. WE CREATE MORE court. “We’re doing an He enrolled in gradeight-week speed camp POWER AND uate school, but instead with South Beauregard STRENGTH, SURE, decided to take a job High School, with football BUT WE TEACH offer as athletic trainer players, and boys and girls ATHLETES HOW for the Lake Charles Ice basketball players,” he TO BEST USE THAT Pirates. When he later says. “We’ll do a camp at POWER AND began to search for a Lacassine next week.” franchise for a new gym, Lounsberry also conSTRENGTH IN Athletic Republic seemed ducts camps in local areas THEIR SPORT.” a good fit with the philosfor any student who wants -- Scott Lounsberry ophy he’d developed as a to learn and work. student at TCU. “We’ll go to a place and do a Level One program focusing on TAILORED TO SPORT, basic starts and stops, changing directions, ATHLETE etc. We’ll do drills to get the hips moving. Athletes go through a four-, six- or It’s the basic program without all of the eight-week program, or can choose a six- equipment. Though we do have a camera month or year-long program. Each new mounted on a cart that follows athletes as athlete is tested before beginning the pro- they run to evaluate movement.” gram. Such programs, he says, are important “We evaluate athletes based on ob- to smaller rural areas. jective scores,” says Lounsberry. “We test vertical jump height and broad jump distance; we use the Plyometric Board to test lateral movement; we test speed and performance on the treadmill — and we don’t just put (athletes) on the treadmill for 20 minutes and see how they do. We put them on for six to eight minutes and evaluate movement quality. We test right and left leg strength on the Force Plate. We basically screen at this point for quality of movement.” And each athlete’s program is designed to improve his or her weak areas, and help develop the movement skills he or she needs to participate in a sport. “We work on what each athlete needs,” says Lounsberry. “If they are having ankle trouble, for instance, we’ll work and stretch the ankle. At the end of the day, the athlete can take what he or she has learned and tie it into his or her sport.” Athletic Republic does have strength training equipment — there’s a universal weight machine in the building. But, says Lounsberry, the focus is more on teaching technique than getting in reps. “Student athletes get plenty of

“There are areas and schools that don’t have the resources to get (into Sulphur) and work out on a regular basis. We bring a more affordable program to them.” That’s a big part of Lounsberry’s business.

“When I first thought about opening this business, I initially wanted a 20,000 square foot facility with indoor turf. I don’t have that. We started the outreach program to help as many kids as possible, to help them make the team and to do well on it, while staying safer.”

July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

classified 337-656-2928 ®

GoMinis of SWLA Lake Charles

MOVING? REMODELING? NEED ADDITIONAL STORAGE?

8' X 20' 8' X 16' 8' X 12'

stuff 4 sale

CUSTOM BUILT CABINETS AND FINISH CARPENTRY For all your interior woodworking needs! . Call Pete Leger 337-515-3272 gp 0202

announcements LC YACHT CLUB JOIN THE LC YACHT CLUB! Sail boats and power boats are welcome, family friendly. Join today! Membership includes on the water clubhouse, sailboats, socials. Call Ship to Shore at 474.0730 _________________

Clean Used Cars Great Condition

GREAT DEALS ON WHEELS 2002 Mitsu Galant loaded, like new.......$2995

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

1990 HONDA Low mileage, two owners, A/C, auto, great tires! Only $2000. CALL 337-515-6945 _________________

services

stuff 4 sale ENTERTAINMENT CENTER, ELEGANT GLASS AND METAL DINING ROOM SET WITH MATCHING SHELVES FOR SALE. Call 540-5540 for details. _________________

FENCING FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

2002 Ford Taurs loaded, excellent .........$2995 2002 Hyundai Elantra super nice.........$2995

COWBOY'S TOWING & RECOVERY 24-HOUR TOWING 4125 E. HWY 90 • LAKE CHARLES

337-656-2928

1999 Buick LeSabre loaded, sharp ......$2995 1995 Mercury Cougar loaded, sharp ...$2595 Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

2003 Ford Explorer loaded, 3rd row .....$2995 2002 Ford F150 loaded, super clean.......$2995 2001 Ford Expedition 3rd row, nice ....$2995 1999 Chevy Silverado ext cab ............$2995 1999 Dodge Durango like new, sharp..$2595 1999 Chevy Suburban extra nice ........$2595

LAKE CHARLES AUTO PARTS Old Town Rd. & Hwy 171 Lake Charles, LA

439-8899

PARTIN JEWELRY REPAIR 34 Years Experience Jewelry Repair & Custom Jewelry Work

QUICK SERVICE • Oil changes, tire rotations, 15k service, belts, hoses, coolant service, power steering flush,brake flush, light engine repair, tune ups, check engine light on, air conditioning service, disc and drum brakes. • Engine Performance • Engine Repair • Brakes • Steering And Suspension • Manual Drive Train • Heating And AC • Electrical Repair And Diagnosis • DEQ Emissions Safety Inspections • State Inspections

Info or Estimates: 526.2533 84

LAGNIAPPE

July 18, 2013

All work is done in store by me Located inside Bodin Jewelers 3133 Ernest Street (East of JCPenney) OPEN: Tues-Fri 10-5:30

NEW TO LAKE CHARLES! "Your Honest Hometown Family Owned Repair Shop" We offer fair labor rates, honest diagnosis and service. We don't just want your business, we want to earn it along with your trust. Complete Automotive Repair and Maintenance on cars and light trucks, with specialization on Domestic. Small or Large Repairs and Service.

436-6535 Call anytime 842-9184 Bring in this ad and receive

Rickey Partin

15% OFF

any repair work!

KNOX FENCE Don’t blend in, make your home stand out with a customized fence. Choose your own design or one of ours. We also do chainlink, ornamental, aluminum and iron fencing. Can install electric or solar gate operators. Call for a free estimate. Licensed and insured, 20+ years of experience. Ask for Steve at 337.540.6973

DOMESTIC AND COMMERCIAL HELP

announcements

We do cleaning and run errands, i.e. grocery shopping, doctor's visits. etc. Insured & Bonded

433-2867 302-2949 g0613

services ELECTRICIAN SEAWARD ELECTRIC, LLC-Licensed, bonded, and insured. "Our prices won't shock you, but our quality will" Call 337249-6443 k0906 _________________

DJ SERVICE

services

N O N - S T O P MUSIQUE- DJ for weddings, birthdays, clubs, reunions. New Year's and Mardi Gras parties, large or small venue. Old/new school, R&B, rap, blues, zydeco, and karaoke, ADJA certified, competitive rates. Call Ron at 337-3091412 k1004

UPHOLSTERY BOAT UPHOLSTERY and top repairs, motorcycles, convertible and more. AAA Glass & Upholstery, 1810 E. Prien Lake Road or CALL 337-564-4125 k0816

announcements

pets DOG GROOMING NOW AVAILABLE AT BARK PARK Two professional groomers are here to serve you. Boarding and day care are also available. Ask about our other wonderful services to pamper your pooch . Located at 4121 Nelson Rd. or call 478-4300 k0816

HAIR SALON COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0906 _________________

services BOAT & RV STORAGE SHEAR PAWFECTION PET GROOMING 2924 Summer Place Drive, Sulphur, off Houston River Road, call 337-528-5910. Appointment only. "Where All The Pampered Pets Go!"

GET REULTS

LANDSCAPING

services CONTRACTORS

Gaspard's Cleaning

services

BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

services

ADVERTISE NOW IN LAGNIAPPE CLASSIFIEDS .. 433-8502 _________________

k0621

BOAT & RV STORAGE

announcements

BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

stuff 4 sale

J O S E P H ’ S LIMESTONE Limestone or Calbase $160 for 2 tons; $250 for 4 tons; and $350 for 6 tons. Also 4 yards of sand or topsoil for only $125, or 14 tons of bottom ash for $300. Ponds dug and excavation work completed. We do dozer, tractor, and concrete work as well as house pads, culvert installation and even demolition. Best prices, hauling available every single day. Free estimates! Call 437.1143. n0816

announcements RV PARK/LAKE SPRING IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, that means camping season in SWLA! 25 minutes north of Lake Charles, Longville Lake Park110 acre scenic stocked pond with boat launch. Full RV hookups available. Call or come by for your campground reservations! 337-725-3395 7115 Hwy 110 East, Longville, LA. k1220

_________________

services A/C & HEATING CONTACT ALL SEASONS AIR & HEAT in Lake Charles. We offer sales and service for all makes and models of heaters and air conditioners. Our team of contractors provides residential and commercial heating and cooling services. Call today! 337855-1446 k1220

_________________

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

FALL LANDSCAPE PACKAGES for every budget! We use state of the art software to show you what your landscape can look like. $100 OFF any new landscape project when you mention Lagniappe! SWLA Lawn and Landscape Licensed, Bonded, Insured 337-625-5625 K1018

services

stuff 4 sale

announcements

LAWN & GARDEN

SALVAGE

RESTAURANT LOCATION!

S&S LAWN CARE for your mowing and trimming needs call David at 337-884-0342 or 337-588-4000 k0517 _________________

OVERKILL SALVAGE

services

Call Today! 337-309-7301

FENCING FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

_________________

announcements

services

RETAIL / OFFICE

HOME REPAIR

RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Castle Real Estate today for details! 337-480-6555 ph _________________

ALL TYPES OF ROOFING, siding, mobile home skirting, licensed and bonded. Call Jimmy today at 337-499-7807. ph _________________

services CONTRACTORS HOUSE LEVELING, HOUSE LIFTING. CALL ONE STOP CONSTRUCTION. Sill and truss replacement, foundation repair, general remodeling, etc. References available, free estimates, licensed and insured. All work is warrantied. Call us at 337-309-7301. k0920 _________________

stuff 4 sale TRAILERS

Trailers Aluminum, Steel, Horse, Stock Motorcycle, Cargo, Gooseneck, Bumper, Lowboy, Equipment

Mark Pedersen Equipment Co. 337-436-2497 an

LAWN SERVICE S & S Lawn Service ~ For mowing and trimming, and all your lawn and garden needs; both commercial and residential. We are licensed and insured, and welcome free estimates. For a yard your neighbors will envy, call David at 884.0342 or 588.4000 k1018 _________________

WOW! 2004 HARLEY DAVIDSON SOFTAIL FATBOY 9000 miles, garage kept, lots of custom and chrome, only $8500. CALL 337302-0016 _________________ PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

k0920

ELECTRONIC E X C A L I B U R INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY Systems-"If it's electronic, I can fix it"Excellent service at an exceptional cost. Full on-site services for all your technology needs! Excalibur ITS.com or call Ivan at 337-912-1490 k1220 _________________

Southwest SW Manufactured HOMES & RV'S Housing, Inc. NEW • USED • REPOS • SALES & SERVICE

2013 SINGLEWIDE 3 BEDROOM, 2 BATH, DELIVERY, SET-UP, A/C INCLUDED FOR ONLY $1700 DOWN AND $275 A MONTH WAC! PRE-QUALIFY TODAY! Corner of Hwy 90 and Hwy 171

www.swhomeslc.com 436-5593

services LAWN & GARDEN HINTON AND MOSS LAWN SERVICELicensed, bonded, and insured. Residential and commercial. Free estimates, call 337515-5255 k1004 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition, Crane Work, Debris Hauling. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881

PERSONAL TRAINING Erick FranklinHead Trainer at The Gym. Offering customized workout plans for Jr. High to College aged athletes looking to improve. Strength & Conditioning, Wide Receiver Training, Agility & Conditioning classes available, including many more! AFFORDABLE RATES. 337-660-5717

g0502-2012

k0816

services

"If it's sunk, we can get it up!"

VERY HIGH TRAFFIC LOCATION ON HWY 171 IN MOSS BLUFF! Adjacent to Bronco Stop. Full kitchen, dining area, tables, drink machines & more. Call Wali today and open your dream restaurant! 337-244-4423 gp _________________

services

HEAVY CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT COMPANY NEEDS SERVICE TECHNICIANS AND MANAGER ASSISTANT IMMEDIATELY. GOOD BENEFITS AND COMPETITIVE WAGES.

Start an Exciting Career in Emergency Communications Entry Level $24,900 year w/benefits Apply at 911 Hodges Street, 2nd floor. Equal Opportunity Employer

FAX REUME TO 337-433-6623 July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

UTEC

Utility Truck & Equipment Co. Boat Trailer Axles & Springs • Flat Beds Service Bodies • Truck Cranes • Tool Boxes Fabrication • Big Truck P&B We're At Your Service! 24-Hour Road Service 1432 BROAD ST • 433-5361

services

announcements

MISC. SERVICES

HAIR SALON

Sell that Junk Car for Cash! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed. Call now at 526.9533. k1018

COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0816 _________________

CABINET SHOP Custom Countertops Affordable Pricing Professional Custom Woodwork Entire Lake Charles Area

302-6903 PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

DOWN ON THE BAYOU

RARE COINS Gold & Silver Coins Currency Mint & Proof Sets All Coins Graded w/Photograde I BUY COLLECTIONS

GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD $37,500 PER ACRE OR MAKE OFFER

KEMBLE GUILLORY CALL 802-5402

SOUTH LAKE CHARLES 478-2386 884-2386

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

services FENCING

NEW! CUSTOM

3 ACRES ELEVATED LAND

FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

real estate MOBILE HOMES

services PLUMBING RAPHAEL BENOIT CUSTOM HOME BUILDERS - Home improvements, Remodeling & Additions. New Home Construction. Serving SWLA since 1993. Call Raphael Benoit at 337-802-6522 k0816 _________________

MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

PAPER HEROES Buying U.S. Coins & Currency

Gold, Silver, Coins & Sets

MAGIC THE GATHERING TOURNAMENTS HELD WEEKLY

services CONSTRUCTION

BOUCHER & SON'S CONSTRUCTION ~ YOU’VE FOUND THE RIGHT COMPANY! Give us call for all your construction, carpentry, painting, and damage repairs. Licensed, Bonded, and Insured. Member of the Better Business Bureau. Give Tom a call at 337-474-2844 (office) or 337-842-1455 (cell) AND SEE HOW AFFORDABLE UPGRADING YOUR HOME CAN BE! 474.2844. k0313 _________________

real estate CORPORATE LEASE Approx 3500 sf, 4BR, 3 BA, minutes from beach, L'Auberge and boat launch. Fully furnished, turnkey, large patio, bbq pit, fenced yard, $2750 per month. 713-829-2974, ask for Ron Wiggins.

478-2143 3941 Ryan Street, Lake Charles

_________________

Larry A. Roach, Inc. A PROFESSIONAL LAW CORPORATION

Accidents • Wrongful Death Serious Personal Injury Criminal, Domestic Law Cases

k1220

Laundry W rld Larry A. Roach (1932-2003) Barry A. Roach • Larry A. Roach, Jr. Fred C. "Bubba" LeBleu • David M. Hudson

2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196 86

LAGNIAPPE

July 18, 2013

Do Your Laundry in 4 Minutes! 2 minutes to drop off 2 minutes to pick up 4319 Common St. • 474-8748 2501 Hwy 14 • 433-7503

Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available PUT US TO WORK FOR YOU TODAY!

announcements WE WILL BUY! SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

services AUTO REPAIR

YOUR SOURCE LAWN & GARDEN TIRES 477-9850 478-6565 527-6355 "People you trust, products you depend on"

announcements

services

RETAIL / OFFICE RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Castle Real Estate today for details! 337-480-6555 ph _________________

announcements NEW PRODUCTS NEW PRODUCT OR INVENTION? Have 20 connections in China and Vietnam for manufacture of new products. Let us know what you have or need. Call Bryan or Ron today 1-800-634-5816. ph _________________

KNOX FENCE FLIGHT TRAINING! VISION AVIATION, LLC; LICENSED INSTRUCTOR(S). Fly to new heights with our one of a kind “Discovery Flight” to see the sights for only $65! Makes a unique and adventurous gift. Gift Certificates available now. Call and reserve your fun at 478.7722. k2013apr

Don’t blend in, make your home stand out with a customized fence. Choose your own design or one of ours. We also do chainlink, ornamental, aluminum and iron fencing. Can install electric or solar gate operators. Call for a free estimate. Licensed and insured, 20+ years of experience. Ask for Steve at 337.540.6973 k0621

JUNK CARS SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

classified FULL-TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for well-established company. Paid training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com

services DOORS WHY PAY MORE FOR DOORS 800 instock Doors Windows & More. 489-4313 csta15 _________________

FINANCING AVAILABLE! 2002 Pewter, 3rd row, runs great, financing available! 2003 CHEVY MAZDASUBURBAN TRIBUTE Black, runs great, financing available! 1999 Silver, come come see it,see financing available, call Luke 302-2912 2006 GMC FORDYUKON ESCAPE Pewter, it, financing available, call Papania Luke 302-2912! 2002 626MARINER Come drive it! 2005 MAZDA MERCURY Come drive it! 2002 SUBURBAN 165k, comereal drive it today! 2008 CHEVY HYUNDAI SANTA FEGrey, White, leather, nice, come drive it today!

Cash for Junk Cars Need Extra Cash? WE ARE NOW BUYING CARS • TRUCKS VANS • ATV’S • MOTORCYCLES

services BOAT & RV STORAGE BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

Also Motor Homes, Trailers and Farm Equipment. Not running? You can still make $400 and up! Get your yard cleaned up while deciding how you’ll spend your extra money!

announcements

CALL 526-9533

WE WILL BUY!

classified k0621

These & more quality vehicles... call Luke Papania today at 302-2912! 803 E. McNeese • 337-562-9211

SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

announcements

HWY 90 CONSIGNMENT STORAGE Cars • Trucks • Boats • RV's Mobile Homes • Vans Safe and Secure Storage forThose Big Items in Your Way! CONSIGNMENT: Your items can be put up for consignment to make that extra money when you decide you no longer need storage for you item. Good prices, and large customer base to purchase any items you store with us.

Call now and make some room OR some cash for your items: 337.526.2533 July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

HOUSE LEVELING

Laundry W rld

LIFTING AND MOVING GUARANTEED 2-YEAR WARRANTY FOR ALL LABOR AND MATERIALS! Foundation Repair • Concrete Slab Stabilization Licensed, Bonded and Insured • References

CALL ONE STOP

337-309-7301 NEW PRODUCTS

NEW PRODUCT OR INVENTION? Have 20 connections in China and Vietnam for manufacture of new products. Let us know what you have or need. Call Bryan or Ron today 1-800-634-5816. ph _________________

announcements

real estate MOBILE HOMES MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________

SHOP A-LOT DELI NOW SERVING OYSTERS! Drive-Thru Daiquiri Window Longer Dining Hours M-F 10AM-6PM SAT 10AM-4PM

2707 HAZEL 433-2135

4319 Common St. • 474-8748 2501 Hwy 14 • 433-7503

services

RETAIL / OFFICE

DINING OUT

2 minutes to drop off 2 minutes to pick up

for well-established company. Paid Training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com

Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available

www.onestophouseleveling.com

announcements

Do Your Laundry in 4 Minutes!

FULL TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED

PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! A lot of people are paying way too much for classified advertising. Don't be one of them! CALL LAMONT AT 660-8877 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

THE

TRANSMISSION SHOP We work on all transmissions!

5817 Common Street Lake Charles 337-540-3795 337-540-6908

PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! Don't pay too much for classified advertising. Unless you like to, of course. Save some money! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

C. Scot LaFargue Owner

classified

Call Samantha @ Rhino Real Estate

337-304-6686 337-433-9434 Our Address: 1027 Enterprise Lake Charles, LA 70601 Charming Home In Sulphur-$55,000. 3 bed/1 bath located on close to a full acre. Go by and have a look at this ideal family home at 1301 Sherwood, call for appointment viewing. 738 Kirkman St.-4 bed/3.5 bath around 3500 sq. feet, Bonus 1000 sq. feet on 3rd floor ready to finish out. Features FOUR fireplaces! Wood floors, updated kitchen and baths, pocket doors, walk-in closets, new paint, electrical and plumbing for $269,500. 2 Acres behind Apostolic Church on Gulf Highway. $35,000 Manufactured homes welcome 715 Magazine St. $179,000 3/2 move in ready, 2300 square feet 7653 Clara Dr $169,000 3/2. On almost an acre. Split floor plan, granite, large master bath and closet 1117 Common St. 3/2.5 $210,000 almost completed new construction Westlake land-14 acres on a canal with dock, utilities run and ready for a new house. 500 square feet building included $350,000. Moss Bluff lot in established neighborhood with storage building, $35,000.

LAGNIAPPE

July 18, 2013

Transform Your Patio, Walkway, Driveway, Living Areas, Pool Deck and More!

View our virtual portfolio online at www.creativeconcretebyron.com

We can stamp or stain any pattern and any color for permanent beauty!

CALL US TODAY FOR A FREE CONSULTATION!

855-8333 540-0943 Ron Guidroz, owner LICENSED, BONDED AND INSURED

LEGEND

LANDSCAPES Licensed & Insured

337-499-4664 Commercial & Residential • Landscape Lawn Care • Hardscape Seasonal Bedding & Clean-Ups • Maintenance July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE 89

Will There Be Rice ‘n Gravy In Heaven? I really hope God still lets us get hungry Up There, not starving, but that good kind of hungry, like when I was a kid, working or playing, just burning calories like a tornado in blue jeans, and you can smell cooking in the air, and it’ll be ready in 15 minutes, and no, you can’t have a snack because it will ruin your appetite. For a kid who once lived on Vienna Sausage, butter-on-bread, and Cheerios, I’ve had some good meals. I’m no gourmand or anything, but I have tasted a steak grilled out in the piney woods of Texas that made all the restaurant steaks I’ve ever eaten bow before it. I’ve had a soup so good that instead of ordering an entree I just ordered a second round of soup. The best gumbo I ever tasted was in Florida, I kid you not. I’ve had a seven dollar hamburger that tasted like a 100 dollar hamburger. I’ve eaten fancy foods that I couldn’t pronounce that were so good I can’t forget them. You know where I’m going, so let’s get it said, the first meal I want in heaven is rice ‘n gravy. Let me go further: I’m not talking Uncle Ben’s and some shake-it-out packet of mystery powder; I’m not talking my Mom’s rice ‘n gravy; nor my Aunt’s; and I’m sure not talking about the rice ‘n gravy the lunchroom ladies whipped up at school (sorry to bring that up, really am). I want my grandmother’s rice ‘n gravy. Is there some organized reunion in heaven? Are they there waiting for you — your parents, grandparents, siblings, friends — like in heaven’s arrival terminal? If so, when I reach down to hug my grandmother and she pecks me on the cheek, it’d be just-ate-up-with-eternal-perfection if she whispered to me, “I knew you were coming; let me fix you a plate.” My grandmother bought sugar and flour and salt, but she didn’t buy rice. It’s homegrown rice, like in that-field-across-from-her-house homegrown. Rice grown in our dirt, irrigated with our water from way down under our dirt, pumped up thick and clean and cold and coming out of that big pipe as shiny as an engagement ring. Seed planted with our tractors, our drills, levees walked by our feet and maintained with our shovels. She kept her rice in a big sealed lard can. She’d pop the lid and scoop out her measure and put it into her rice pot. Then she’d run an inch of tap water over the pot and swish the water around to clean it. She’d jiggle the pot to expose any black rice grains and she’d pluck them out. Then she’d tilt the pot over and use one palm to keep the grains in and let the white water fall into the sink. She’d add more water by some unknown formula, never measured. The pinch followed. Salt, some mysterious quantity caught between thumb and forefinger and another swishing circle to get the salt acquainted with the rice. Her rice was never hard, never gummy, my (and I want to yell it like a kid,

“MY”) grandmother’s rice was always fluffy, loose perfection. She had a particular spoon that was the “gravy spoon‚” a big Army surplus spoon with a long handle and a big mouth. She would dip this in the meat gravy, a little of the fat grease, but not too much, and set it upon the rice mound on your plate and let it press down, to make a little crater indention, like you’d do on mashed potatoes, and then she would lean the spoon to the left a little bit and then to the right a little bit. This meat gravy, most of the time is coming from our homegrown cows, cows that ate our grass, our hay, maybe got a little treat of Purina Horse ‘n Mule from time to time. This is the thing about all our blessings; that we never knew they are rare, until they’re gone, even to us. My grandmother cooked at least one meal a day 355 out of 365 days for every year of her marriage‚ and at every meal, there was rice ‘n gravy. My grandmother lived just-down-the-road-from-us and I ate countless meals at my spot with my back to the refrigerator. And then I grew up, and went away, and found that other people from other cultures don’t eat rice like we Cajuns do. I remember a girlfriend from my 20s, she wanted to audition her cooking skills to me, so I asked her to make some rice ‘n gravy. Not like my grandmothers, I said, when asked how I liked it. That was a long evening. If you can’t get things just right in heaven, then where can you? Dear God, If only just once, let me be little again, and let my grandparents be big and in their prime like when I was six. Let them put me on the red kitchen stool at the corner of the table, right between them, and after my grandmother has fixed everybody’s plate and she’s seated, I’d like to hear that short “O God” prayer from my grandfather, and then after I take that first bite of rice ‘n gravy, please fill out what’s missing, let me know just how good I had it, so that I can properly say Thank You for the gift of my childhood. Amen. This “first” edition of Uncle P’s Bedtime Stories in Lagniappe is brought to you by Eighty-one, where Louisiana creativity dwells. To those who’ve followed Lagniappe through the years‚ my mother loved the old Joe Fenton columns from decades ago, right here on the inside back cover. Nobody would be more thrilled that I’ve stepped into those shoes than her‚ and so I hope the Lord allows the gone-on-er’s to stay up with current events down here. Email Pierre at pierre81@bellsouth.net or call him at 478-8115.

July 18, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

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