Fall Festival Guide by Lagniappe Magazine

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August 1, 2013

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LAGNIAPPE MAGAZINE • AUGUST 1, 2013 • VOLUME 31 NUMBER 15

58 27 MAN FOR ALL SEASONS Russell Tritico Sr. could have been content to be just another lawyer. Instead, he’s acquired skills that enable him to play the sax, run a restaurant, do master woodworking and be a civic leader. 30 EXTREME DREAM FULFILLED Local kayaker Roman Ryder learned just how far he could push himself when he spent two weeks kayaking the great rapids of the Colorado River. 33 REAL ESTATE In a special section devoted to land buying, Lagniappe looks at what happens when an investor buys land that’s deemed to be wetlands. 44 WOMEN IN BUSINESS Lagniappe relates the stories of businesswomen both inside and outside the area who’ve managed the ups and downs of business to emerge successful. 58 FALL FESTIVAL GUIDE Some say we live in the country’s festival capitol. In this guide, you’ll find all the specifics for the festivals taking place this season.

Lagniappe Magazine Serving SWLA Since 1983

Publishers Bob Hartnett Greg Pavlovich Editor Brad Goins Associate Editor Karla Wall Assistant Laura Landry Layout & Design Mike Manis Advertising Sales Tanya Alsobrook Patty Hebert Chester Rogers Classified Manager Kenny Pierce Distribution Manager Edward Frazer Contributing Writers Jeremy Alford Dr. Dale Archer Duane Bergeron Angie Kay Dilmore Todd Elliott Pierre Fontenot Rocke Fournet Arthur Hebert John Maginnis Rick Sarro Chuck Shepherd Vic Wukovits Office Phone (337) 433-8502 Office Fax (337) 433-8964 Mailing Address PO Box 3292 Lake Charles, LA 70602 Shipping Address 2906 Deaton Street Lake Charles, LA 70601 Editorial e-mail edit@thelanyap.com Advertising e-mail ads@thelanyap.com Classified e-mail class@thelanyap.com Lagniappe Magazine is published the first and third Thursday of each month. Manuscripts, photographs, comments and queries are invited. Return postage must accompany all materials submitted if return is requested. Publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited materials. Opinions presented by the columnists in this publication do not necessarily express the views ofLagniappe Magazine.

63 BACK TO SCHOOL Almost every student struggles with the high school years. A local expert explains what students can do to cope. We also take a look at school lunches and much more.

departments 6 10 12 14 16 18

Up Front Pierre Sez Taking Charge Out & About LA Politics News Roundup

19 20 22 24 75 76

Tech Bytes Weird News Political Notebook File 13 Lake Area People Band Schedule

77 80 81 82 91

What's Happening Reel Talk Mounted Memories Sarro On Sports Uncle P's Bedtime Stories August 1, 2013

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front He’s A Socialite; I’m James Bond I read recently that there’s some group or organization or something that’s named “SWLA Socialite.” I’d say that’s tantamount to a group of old, wealthy New Yorkers on Madison Avenue getting together and calling themselves the Manhattan Nutria Skinners. By the way, I’m starting a new group called International Jet Set. Anyone can join for the initiation fee of $1,000. Cash only. Send payment to “English” Billy Boynton c/o General Delivery, Wagon Rut, TX.

three emails of any kind about anything else I’ve written, I think this column may have hit a nerve or struck a chord or struck a nerve or done whatever it is a column should do. If you want to read or reread it, we have limited copies left in the office. You can also read an electronic version on my blog “Frontier Hippy” at bradgoins.blogspot.com.

Pro-Louisiana Bias

I stepped out of the office the other day to go to the drugstore. And it was hot! I mean really, really, exceptionally hot. It was like a steam bath. Is it like this a lot here? If so, why didn’t somebody warn me before I moved down? How do people stay cool when they’re walking in these conditions? I noticed that by the time I made it to the store, my brow was sweaty. Is this sort of appearance acceptable in Southwest Louisiana culture? Even though I’ve lived here 13 years, I can see I still have a lot to learn about the place.

The Louisiana Legislature was recently praised (I think) in the least likely of places — the liberal-leaning Huffington Post. The story bore the flattering headline “Louisiana Can Make Difficult Decisions, Why Can’t Washington?” The story stated that while the Louisiana Legislature’s budget negotiations “yielded a less-than-perfect final product,” they were nonetheless “forged on the backs of bipartisan compromise.” While I’m not crazy about the forged on the backs of compromise metaphor, I think it’s real good publicity for Louisiana. The story also shows that someone covers state news closely at Huffington, which has frequently been criticized not just for its political leanings but also for the quality of its journalism.

Throw Me A Bone. I’ll Eat It.

OK, You Twisted My Arm

I saw in the store that a large bag of M&Ms is now $6.29. A canister of nuts is $8 — and that’s the sale price. I’d gone to the store thinking, “Man, I have 25 bucks in my pocket. I’m going to eat for a week!” I left with a marked down mini-tube of Pringles and a brand new case of PTSD. Readers, I’m going to ask you for some guidance. Those of you who still buy food, how do you buy it? Can you give me a few tips? I realize you must have to take out a loan. But how does that work? When the loan officer asks me, “What is the purpose of the loan?” do I answer, “To buy some M&Ms”? What about all those cash for gold signs I see? If I could manage to get my hands on some gold, could I exchange it for some M&Ms? Could I get something cheaper, like a Charleston Chew, for some silver? Any advice would be appreciated.

If you haven’t yet heard the response Gov. Bobby Jindal made when an Associated Press reporter asked him if he’d run for U.S. Senate, you might want to. You might get a chuckle out of it. Here’s the remarkable little speech: “Absolutely not, emphatically no. There is no caveat, no wiggle room. I’m not trying to give myself any outs. I have absolutely no interest in running for the United States Senate. I’m not a candidate for the United States Senate. I will not be a candidate for the United States Senate. You can film that. You can write that down. Absolutely not.” Jindal showed once again that he has a knack for colorful language. It’s not always the colorful language that people like to hear. But he doesn’t give up trying … to be colorful. That shows he has backbone. I guess Louisiana’s political prognosticators are taking Jindal’s extremely emphatic denial as strong evidence he’s not running. But to do so is to violate Goins’ Axiom of Politics No. 16: Politicians always say the opposite of what they mean. I’ll also note that in the Goins Lexicon of American Politics, the phrases “I have

Hey, What Happened?

Get It While It’s Hot So far I’ve gotten several emails — all of them positive — about my July 4 edition of “File 13,” which was titled “On the Use of the Term ‘Liberal.’” Since I’ve never gotten

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absolutely no interest … I’m not a candidate … I will not be a candidate …” are all politicianese for “Yes.” If Jindal really doesn’t want to run for Senate, he must be determined to sacrifice all to run for president (and, alternatively, hope for a VP nod) in 2016. If he did that, and managed to get a few delegates, he might also have a shot in 2020. Failing that, the only option I can see is that he already has a cushy D.C. lobbying job waiting for him, which would mean he could quit spending his weekends raising money and start spending his weekends counting money.

How Did I Miss Perfection?

Restless Leg Syndrome?

Recently President Barack Obama invited former president George H.W. Bush [the first President Bush] to a publicly viewed meeting at the White House. Certainly it was a kind gesture. But I wondered whether it was all on the up and up. For instance, in his speech about G.H.W. Bush, Obama said the former president sparked a “national movement” to advance volunteerism and community service. There was no national movement to advance volunteerism and community service. And if there had been such a movement, it wouldn’t have had anything to do with George H.W. Bush. Obama continued to slather it on: “You’ve described for us those thousand points of light — all the people and organizations spread out all across the country who are like stars brightening the lives of those around them.” Of course, we never needed G.H.W. Bush to inform us that thousands of individuals and organizations in the U.S. do volunteer work. There comes a point when polite flattery turns into ignoble sycophancy. Here is that point: Obama said to Bush, “But given the humility that’s defined your life, I suspect it’s harder for you to see something that’s clear to everybody else around you, and that’s how bright a light you shine … We are surely a kinder and gentler nation because of you.” “The humility that’s defined your life?” He’s a former Texas oil man, CIA head, and president and vice president. How humble can he be? “How bright a light you shine?” Is he an ex-president or a carbon arc searchlight? “We are surely a kinder and gentler nation because of you.” Saints a-mighty! What’s the evidence for that claim? Bush is probably not long for this world, and Obama may just be trying to get a jump on the inevitable media rush to canonize a dead president. Obama is blatant and clumsy in the way he does it. But I’m not sure it’s a clumsiness anyone will notice. NBC News political reporter Michael O’Brien also tried to get in on the coming media blitz when he nonchalantly wrote that the White House meeting “recognized [G.H.W. Bush’s] legacy of charity and altruism.” I’m not trying to dump on the first ex-president Bush, who I believe was above-average for a president (in stark contrast to his son). I’m just wondering what sort of “political continued

August 1, 2013

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UP FRONT continued reporter” thinks he’s in a position to pronounce that a particular presidency was one of “charity and altruism.” How long would a great historian hesitate before he put such a mighty pronouncement into print? Detractors take note — there’s at least one journalist who’s sillier than I am.

Embrace Your Fetish Let’s have three big Up Fronter cheers for U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann for demonstrating that just because the presidential election is over, the crazy doesn’t have to stop. On July 15, the Washington Post’s Rachel Weiner reported that Bachmann told WorldNetDaily that President Obama “has a perpetual magic wand and nobody’s given him a spanking yet and taken it out of his hand. That’s what Congress needs to do, give the president a major wake-up call. And the way we spank the president, we do it through the checkbook.”

Translator! Translator! You’re Wanted On The 5th Floor! Translator!

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While I can’t help but commend anybody who comes out about the whole spanking thing, I also feel strongly inclined to remind readers that there’s no substitute for research. Bachmann told WorldNetDaily that Obama had issued an executive order than enables “anyone who was here as a Latino under age 30” to vote in federal elections. That may be the case in the alternative world Bachmann inhabits. But in the United States, only U.S. citizens can vote in federal elections. Obama’s executive order postposed deportation for some Latino students. As for people who have magic wands, I assume they can vote as long as they’re U.S. citizens. Credit where credit’s due, though. The idea of spanking with a checkbook is a novel and kinky twist on what has, admittedly, become a mundane fetish.

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As I was preparing my File 13 on nonsense dialogues (for the July 18 issue), it bothered me a little that I could remember only a few of them. And I was sure I’d seen quite a few more than I remembered. As chance would have it, I ran across the following gem the very night before we went to press. Vince Vaughn and Ben Stiller are working it all out in the movie Dodgeball. Here’s the dialogue: Vaughn: I’ll take my chances in the tournament. Stiller: Yeah, you will take your chances. Vaughn: I know. I just said that. Stiller: I know you just said that. Vaughn: OK, I’m not sure where you’re going with this. Stiller: Well, I’m not sure where “you’re” going with this. Vaughn: That’s what I said. Stiller: That’s what I’m saying to you. Vaughn: All right. Stiller: [after a long pause] Touché. Rather than burden you with any analysis of that, I’ll just leave you with another great line from the movie, this one from Rip Torn: “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a dodgeball.”

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More Promises Or Real Action? When de Golden Nugget announced a few weeks ago day wuz buyin’ Isle of Capri in Mississippi, lots uf folks here, includin’ me, taught day wuz goin’ to buy de Capri property here. Well, by now we should have all learned dat dem casino folks are a bit hard to figure out. Like we’ve sed before, day move employees around a whole bunch an’ buy an’ sell properties like sacks uf potatoes. Now day baught a Lake Charles property all right. But it wuz de udder guys. De latest owners uf de casino under construction is de Golden Nugget. Dat organization’s owner iz Tilman Fertitta uf Houston, who also owns udder casinos an’ a whole buncha high-end restaurants, which day promise to have in dar new Lake Charles facility. Recall folks: Dis license haz been assigned to Sugarcane Bay, Ameristar, Mojito Pointe and now Golden Nugget. Dere’s been years uf changin’ names an’ announcements wit’ no revenue from dis 15th riverboat gamin’ license. De Louisiana Gaming Control Board will next meet Aug. 15 in Baton Rouge. It’s about time day take action so dat de facility dat’s under construction iz completed in a timely manner so we can start seein’ revenue from dis license. Bob Jones, who represents our area on de boad, an’ iz a smart bidnessman, should take de lead in forcin’ dem what haz duties an’ promises in dis picture to get dar act togedder. Realize what we’ve missed out in tax dollars in dis area because uf dis game uf musical chairs.

We Need To Get Goin’ Jim Serra on his KPLC-TV “A Better SWLA” recently talked about how de plans for a China takeover were crumblin’ an’ dat de U.S. would soon be energy independent. He talked about de key industries, both existing and comin’, dat will play a big part in dis country gettin’ to dis independence. We say dat’s true only if we’re ready. If you invite a buncha folks over for a cochon de lait, you don’t wait ‘til day get dar before butcherin’ de hog. You start ahead uf time. An’ from what we’ve seen, doesn’t look like dis area haz even selected de pig day want to kill for de event. Like we’ve sed before, it’s time to move on better roads an’ udder infrastructure to make dis happen. Folks, dem companies dat have announced dar comin’ here don’t drag dar feet like some uf dem bureaucrats in Baton Rouge. If dem companies see dar goin’ to have to wait a year or two ‘cause de area ain’t ready, den dar gonna take action dat we’d radder not see. Time iz money to dem, and it’s time now for state an’ local gubment officials to get off dar can an’ make tings happen.

Get Ready To Rum Rum-Ble!!! Two new rums have hit the stores in our area. De rums, products uf Louisiana Spirits in Lacassine, are both bottled in 80-proof. Louisiana Spirits haz been in de works for three years, an’ even though de first products have jus’ hit de market, de distillery is already expandin’. Construction haz begun on a 12,000-square-foot addition dat will hold supplies and an agin’ room. My fran Cormier from Jennings went to work dar. He lasted a day. It seems he spent mos’ de day samplin’ de product.

Good Police Work De Lake Charles Police Dept. recently showed what happens when good police work iz done. We’re talkin’ about de capture uf a young man day tink iz responsible for 15 armed robberies in de Lake Area. Durin’ a press conference, Police Chief Don Dixon explained how day figured out de MO (dat means method of operation; learned dat on Kojak years ago) uf dis guy. In one night, day had 51 officers out coverin’ various convenience stores, which seemed to be his favorite spots to rob. He hit a store in Sulphur. A few days later, he tried to hit a store on Hwy. 14 and de men in blue were ready. 10

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After hittin’ de most-hit telephone pole in de parish — de one on Lake Street near Wendy’s — de suspect took out runnin’. Day got him, an’ he sits in jail awaitin’ de judicial process. Mayor Randy did right to attend de Dixon press conference to praise everyone for good police work. Imagine dese poor policemen chasin’ dis guy down with all de gear day have hanging on dar belts an’ de bulletproof vests in 100 degree weather. Dat’s hard work, but good work, by the Lake Charles Police Dept.

Guillory For U.S. Senator? When state Sen. Elbert Guillory from de Opelousas area announced he wuz switchin’ from Democrat to Republican, he sed he wuzn’t interested in runnin’ for any office udder dan state senator. De fact dat an African-American would switch to de Republican party wuz in itself a bit uf a shocker. In fact, it wuz all over YouTube, an’ made national headlines on some uf dem so-called news channels. At de time, everyone in de know in Baton Rouge knew already he wuz lookin’ at runnin’ for lt. governor in de next election. Now we read in a separate publication dat de Grand Old Party iz lookin’ at Guillory to run for U.S. Senate against Mary Landrieu next year. Some pollsters say de announced Republican in dis race, congressman Bill Cassidy, ain’t trackin’ too good in de polls. We all know de National Republican Party banged dar heads against de wall when Bobby Jindal sed he wuzn’t runnin. An’ day really want to gain dis seat. Day also know Landrieu haz lost some shine in dis state because uf her stance on Obamacare an’ some udder key issues. De question iz how would Guillory do among African-Americans — a strong base uf support for Landrieu for de las’ several elections? An’ would splittin’ de Republican vote assure Landrieu uf a first primary win? Ain’t politics wonderful in de great state uf Louisiana?

Why Not Here??? Me an’ my wife Sedonia, along wit’ some uf our franz, went to Coushatta in Kinder las’ week an’ enjoyed some real fine ribs at de Sports Bar called Gumbeaux’s. Whlle waitin’ for our ribs, we noticed an adjoinin’ room whare day had off-track horseracin’ an’, uf course, gamblin’. I mean day had a whole buncha races, from Evangeline Downs in Lafayette, Louisiana Downs in Bossier City an’ a whole bunch outta state tracks. Wuz at Pat’s in downtown Lafayette a few months ago an’ sawed day had it dar, too. Now, I axed de group why we don’t have OTB (off-track bettin’) in de Lake Area, an’ nobody knew. If we gonna have gamblin’ here, let’s do it all de way and have off-track bettin’.

No Rockets On Cable Az you know, we haven’t been able to watch de Astros on cable dis year. Dat’s because uf some brewhaha between de Astros and an outfit called CSN Houston. Looks like we ain’t gonna be able to see de predicted-to-be-better Rockets basketball, needer. What iz de problem??? Well, it’s de answer to all questions … money.

Touchdown!!! Well folks, in de next few weeks, we gonna start feelin’ a little hint uf fall in de mornings, and in jus’ a few weeks, we gonna have football on TV an’ in our local stadiums. We know NFL preseason games are kickin’ off soon, an’ dat haz certainly gotten my football buddies an’ me fired up for tings to come. Sean Payton iz back runnin’ de Saints, an’ both LSU an’ McNeese appear to be headed for a good season, so get de tailgate set up and de grill ready. My stockbroker fran Max haz been pushin’ Blue and Gold Fridays for a while now. Me, I say spend a few bucks and join de crowd. I wear mine. Doesn’t matter whar or if you went to college. McNeese iz a big source uf revenue for our area, so why not support dem?

Deep Taughts While Fishin’ At De Cameron Jetties 10) Why don’t one uf dem big reds jump on my hook? 9) Will dis Astro-blockin’ on Suddenlink carry over to Texas college games on our cable? 8) Will Johnny Football still be on de Aggie team by de time day play LSU? 7) Why does everyone invite me to dar deer camps to cook an’ not to hunt? 6) Iz everyone in our area ready for hurricane season? 5) Am I crazy to pay $15 for a watermelon? 4) How come I can’t grow good tomatoes like dat DeRidder lady who haz a stand on Nelson Road? 3) Will Snookie bring me dem freshly picked figs she promised me? 2) Wit’ all dem hot dog players de New Orleans Pelicans basketball team got, jus’ how good day gonna be? 1) How come I got three remotes for one TV an’ can never find any uf dem?

Final Shot I took my fran Lefty wit’ me to de Ceegar Club de udder day. I got him a real good ceegar and an adult beverage uf hiz choice. Afta we left, I axed him how he liked it dar. He sed de ceegar an’ de drink wuz too strong. He den axed when I wuz gonna take him again. Dat Lefty, he’s just a connoisseur uf de finer tings in life. ‘Til next time, lache pas la patate. August 1, 2013

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TAKING CHARGE

dale archer, MD

Too Young? Dear Dr. Archer, I know this sounds so cliché, but I fell for someone I met on the Internet. I am 33 years old, single, and have no problem getting dates. However, I am a bit of a party girl, and I normally meet guys who share the same interests. Most are handsome and single, but not very serious. I guess you can say I’m tired of being in the same rut, so I stopped clubbing altogether and just go out with my friends for a drink. I made a new rule that I wasn’t going to meet any guy ever again from a club. It was good to break this cycle, and I started enjoying other interests, like going to the museum, orchestra, plays and reading. I was feeling so good up until I met this guy! I was on this gaming site, playing against him; we’d always seem to bump into each other online. One thing led to another, and we started talking, friending each other on Facebook, and getting to know each other. I trust this guy. We seem to share a bond, and we’re able to finish each other’s sentences. The only problem is that he’s way younger than me. He’s only 23 years old!. We were both open about our ages in the beginning, and there was never anything romantic. It was always fun and friendly. We started talking in December of last year, and recently he confessed that he had feelings for me. To be honest, I didn’t expect this, and I fought against it because of our age difference. In fact, I decided to be sensible and stop talking to him — I started going out on dates again and even met a good guy. But I can’t stop thinking about this younger guy who

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made such an impression. He’s emailed me saying that I should at least give him a chance, regardless of the age factor. Do you think I’ve lost my mind to even consider this? Jennifer Dear Jennifer, No. I don’t think you’ve lost your mind. The age difference doesn’t bother me at all. If both parties are over 18, age is irrelevant. The question is: Do you share the same goals and ideas about the future? Age is a number. The issue is the maturity level. Some 23-year-olds are as immature as a young teenager, while others are thoughtful and mature beyond their years. There are many stigmas put on women for a variety of reasons, with age being one. If she dates an older man, a woman is labeled a gold digger; if she dates someone younger, she’s a cougar. The truth is, it’s no one’s business who you date. If you consider the age difference to be an obstacle, then an obstacle it will be. If you decide it’s not, then you have a chance for a loving relationship. However, one thing must be clarified. Have you ever met this guy in person? Meeting him face-to-face is a must before deciding how to proceed. Often, relationships that begin on the Internet turn into a disaster when the parties actually meet. To give this relationship a chance, meet this guy first, without making any promises. If you are happy with each other, then great, give it a shot. But, dating a “good guy” while thinking of another implies that this good guy may not be right for you. Your Internet friend may or not be, either, but you won’t know that if you don’t meet, right? Dana

Delany, famously known for dating younger men, said “...younger men are just more fun. I like their energy. I’ve always been kind of young for my age.” If you meet this guy and like what you see, and you accept him for who and what he is, then enjoy. Don’t let age be an excuse not to find love. Good luck! Dr. Archer Dear Dr. Archer, I love my wife, but I’ve fallen for a co-worker. I’m fighting these feelings for my co-worker as hard as possible. I know what I should do, but I just can’t seem to do it. I thought time would reduce these feelings, but it’s not happening. They’re difficult to deny. I try not to think about it, but it’s always there; something always brings it back. I think my coworker knows what she’s doing, because when I do something to distance myself, she does something to bring me back — like a text, email or personal contact. It’s so subliminal, almost like a game. I want to get out of the game without confessing my feelings and without hurting anyone. How can I achieve that without changing my job? Sam

Dear Manny, You’re not alone. Many times, anxiety can shut the brain down faster than the speed of light. Thought processes change, and the brain may as well hand out a “Gone to Lunch” sign. Read the chapters on generalized anxiety and social anxiety in my book, Better Than Normal: How What Makes You Different Can Make You Exceptional, and see if the descriptions apply to you. When the mind goes blank, we all feel dumb and dumber. We feel everyone is ridiculing us, and think we are stupid. In short, we get an inferiority complex. You can continue to let this get to you, in which case it will probably become worse because you’re worrying about it, or you can shrug it off. I suggest the latter. If and when this happens, simply say

“My mind went blank.” Whoever you’re talking to has had this happen, and they’ll understand. The harder you are on yourself, the more this is going to happen. Try your best to laugh it off. In the meantime, try this: Focus your mind on what’s in front of you or what the person is saying. Do not focus on yourself. Concentrate on what’s being said. As far as circumstances, like recognizing the baby or other people, study features, mannerisms and how they talk. We tend to become distracted or irritated by things we don’t understand. Those tests you mentioned are an excellent example, because this is when many of us experience a problem. It’s okay; that’s normal. Take a deep breath. Relax. If you don’t know the answer to something, skip it and come back to it

later. There’s a saying, “The human mind is like a TV set. When it goes blank, it’s a good idea to turn off the sound.” There’s wisdom in there. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember.” If this doesn’t help, then consider counseling. Perhaps anti-anxiety medication can help.

Dr. Dale Archer is a board certified psychiatrist who founded the Institute for Neuropsychiatry in Southwest Louisiana. He’s a frequent guest on Fox News, CNN Headline News and other national TV programs and the author of the New York Times best-selling book Better than Normal. Visit him at DrDaleArcher.com.

Dear Sam, This happens more than you think. You’re playing with fire, and if you continue down this path, you’re going to get burned. Quit entertaining thoughts of this other woman. If you don’t, you chance devastating your wife and losing your family. By allowing this to continue — and you are allowing it — you risk losing it all. Perhaps this feeds your self-esteem and that’s why you allow it to continue. If this co-worker actively pulls you back when you pull away, then man up and tell her the way it is. Tell her you’re happily married and mean it. Tell her to stop the emails and the texts. And then put your energies into making your marriage fabulous. Consider the words of Winston Churchill, who said “A man does what he must — in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures — and that is the basis of all human morality.” If you want to get out of the game, then get out of the game. It’s not up to her; it’s up to you. If you don’t take charge quickly, it will soon be too late. The only thing left will be regret. Now do what you already know you need to do. Good luck. Dear Dr. Archer, What makes a mind go blank? Ever since I was little, if asked to remember something, I totally go blank. Given a clue, I can remember everything. This has made me fear that I appear stupid, and that’s affected me socially. School was a nightmare, and tests were the same. I’ve tried some memory tricks, like remembering a name and associating it with a visual clue, but then I would forget the clue. I really feel part of my brain isn’t working. I didn’t even recognize my own newborn in the hospital. I looked at several and couldn’t pick him out. Manny August 1, 2013

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OUT & ABOUT

Osaka Ten years ago, I could not have imagined there being more than the one sushi joint Lake Charles had at that time. Now, there will soon be six. The reason I’m not crazy about these steak houses and sushi restaurants is that I no longer do hibachi. Thirty years ago it excited me, but not now. Hibachi is really a group activity, and I seldom do that anymore. Each time I visited, an appetizer-size salad was sent out gratis. The first salad I got was kani salad (surimi shredded and topped with fried Panko [Japanese bread crumbs] and eel sauce). The combo of texture and taste in this dish sat well with me. Another time, I had the squid salad (marinated strips of squid steak tossed with marinated Japanese pickled vegetables). It turned out to be a bit chewy, but had good flavor. My first visit revealed other dishes that I enjoyed. There was the agedashi tofu (a new favorite of mine), which consists of fried tofu cubes soaked in a bonito (dry tuna) and soy broth topped with shavings of bonito. The frying gives this dish a little flavor, but the punch comes from the cubes being soaked in the aromatic and flavorful broth. The second item which I now love is hamachi kama. This is a yellowfin tuna collar, grilled in this case. The collar meat is

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the most tender and most flavorful on a fish. I would rather have collar than any other fillet of fish. I went two more times with my dining companion. On our first time in together, she ordered an entree, and I went with a rice dish. With both dishes you can get either a seaweed salad or a regular side salad. We both opted for the green salad. It was lovely, and dressed with a sesame ginger dressing. You also get a choice of miso or onion soup. We went with miso, and it tasted as good as any I have had. We ordered and shared two appetizers: mango and shrimp kabob and spring rolls. The skewers contained chunks of grilled shrimp and unripe mango chunks. The shrimp were wonderful; the mango not so much. The rolls consisted of finely chopped vegetables in a fried spring roll wrapper, served with sweet and sour sauce. My companion ordered a miso Chilean sea bass. She received a bento box of rice, tempura vegetables, shrimp, a small California roll, a five oz. portion of fish over cabbage, and a slice of cantaloupe. The bites she offered to me tasted good. My order was unagi dan. It consisted of a bottom layer of rice with a fillet of barbecue eel garnished with a cucumber fan.

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The service is fantastic, and especially the service of the host. While there’s not a buffet here, the portions are more than generous. This is an excellent place for lunch or dinner.

Since unagi is one my favorite sushi fishes, I took after it like a shark. It was delicious. At the end of the meal you get a complimentary scoop of ice cream. They have a decent choice of flavors. On my last visit, I went for the seaweed salad. It’s an acquired taste, and I happen to like it. My companion and I split an order of gyoza. This is basically

Japanese pot stickers stuffed with pork and served with ponzu sauce (citrus soy). I ordered the grilled shrimp entree. The dish consisted of nine shrimp, which were as good as if not better than the kabobs. The dish contained all the accompaniments I mentioned with the sea bass. My companion’s order requires a little story. Just before we ordered, food was delivered to a nearby table. It was a four inch or higher mound on a large platter. I asked our server what it was. She said it was an “Oh My God” roll and explained what was in it. To my surprise, my companion ordered it. It was a soy bean paper roll filled with shrimp tempura, soft shell crab, crab meat and deep fried. It was laid on spicy salmon and topped with a special sauce. My companion loved it, and I loved it. This is a lovely venue with an interior upgrade. The service is fantastic, and especially the service of the host, or the front of the house. This host goes out of the way to make you comfortable. While there’s not a buffet here, the portions are more than generous. My advice: If you order one of the entree, noodle or rice dishes, do not order an appetizer. This is an excellent place for lunch or dinner.

LA POLITICS

john maginnis

State Not Business Friendly To All Every month, there’s a new ranking showing Louisiana among the most business-friendly states in the Union. That’s backed up almost weekly by press conferences in which Gov. Bobby Jindal stands next to company executives who announce construction of new plants and thank him for approving the tax breaks, cash incentives and expedited permits to get them here. But for all the ribbon and red tape cutting, firms that have been here a long time often feel they’re getting the back of the hand from this administration when it comes to fair treatment in the payment of their property taxes. That point was driven home, and not for the first time, by a recent state Legislative Auditor’s report that cites the Louisiana Tax Commission with lax oversight of parish tax assessors, who are faulted for assessing many residential properties far out of line with fair market value, while going years without reassessing other parcels at all. The audit also showed that the commission lacks a system for verifying the accuracy of homestead exemptions, resulting in 1,300 cases of property owners claiming excessive or multiple exemptions. The under-assessment or non-assess-

ment of residential property shifts the tax burden to businesses, which pay almost 90 percent of ad valorem taxes. There are conscientious assessors who keep their tax rolls up to date and their assessments, for the most part, within the 10 percent range of fair market value.

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Assessments being off is one thing; just not doing them defies explanation, as well as the Constitution, which mandates that all property be reassessed every four years.

But all of them are elected officials, who are sensitive to the pressures from homeowners who want their tax bills kept low. That’s where the state tax commission comes in. Its five members are appointed by the governor to ensure that parish assessors follow the law and treat all taxpayers, tax recipients and local governments fairly. It doesn’t always work that way. Governors have to get elected too, and tax assessors, as much as any of the courthouse crowd, can influence many votes,

especially in rural areas. Former Gov. Kathleen Blanco bucked that pressure by appointing tax commissioners who weren’t tight with assessors and thus were more demanding of them. Maybe that’s why the assessors were early and enthusiastic supporters of candidate Jindal in 2007, who appears to have returned the favor by his appointment of assessor-friendly tax commissioners. The audit found that from 2010 to 2012 the LTC approved $118 million in assessment decreases for residential and business properties and $10 million in increases with only a cursory review of the proposed changes. At two monthly meetings attended by legislative auditors this year, the LTC approved 99 percent of nearly 9,000 change orders to correct errors and omissions in tax rolls. The Jindal administration, finding it unconscionable that 99 percent of school teachers were rated effective by their principals, set up a more exacting evaluation system. But to have the LTC better scrutinize the work of assessors seems not so high a priority. Being off on assessments is one thing; just not doing them defies explanation, as well as the Constitution, which mandates that all property be reassessed every four years. In its sample of 33 parishes, the audit

found that in one-third of them, including East Baton Rouge, at least 23 percent of residential property assessments didn’t change between 2007 and 2012. The LTC responded that that doesn’t mean reassessments weren’t done, but just that there was no change in value. That hardly explains how in north Louisiana’s three largest parishes, 66 percent of residential properties in Ouachita and 48 percent in Rapides didn’t change in value over five years, while only 4 percent went unchanged in Caddo. Does this mean Monroe and Alexandria are frozen in time, while Shreveport is a dynamic cauldron of activity? Or are some officials just not doing their jobs? The tax commission disagreed with four audit recommendations but accepted one — to set up a state registry of homestead exemptions to ferret out illegal multiple exemptions held by individual homeowners. The Legislature asked for the same thing 14 months ago, but the LTC just hasn’t got around to it. The commission would hop to on all the audit’s recommendations, and assessors would feel the heat too, with one well-worded phone call from the governor’s office. But that might strain some close relationships, and who wants to be unfriendly?

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Port Purchases Property The Port of Lake Charles has been authorized by its board of commissioners to acquire nearly 19 acres of land near the Industrial Canal and west of the proposed G2X Energy lease site. The acreage was purchased from St. Luke Simpson Methodist Church for $300,000. The property is close enough to the ship channel for possible expansions by Houston-based G2X. The property would also be available for any future economic development.

LOCAL NEWS STORIES OF THE PAST TWO WEEKS

C-GOV Airs Police Jury Archives The Calcasieu Parish Government Channel (C-GOV) now offers the Calcasieu Police Jury Historical Archive. The archive, suggested by police juror Nic Hunter, includes video interviews of former police jurors that have made a strong impact on shaping Calcasieu into what it is today. Included are the stories behind the establishment of the parish library system, the acquisition of Chennault International Airport, the obtaining of a public service annex in North Lake Charles, the development of a major parish drainage project, the renovation of the historic courthouse and much more. According to C-GOV director Tom Hoefer, the archive will continue to grow throughout the year, featuring more videos and other items of historical interest. The interviews can be viewed on the Parish website at www.cppj.net/archive.

Mardi Gras Boardwalk Project Moves Forward Lake Charles Mayor Randy Roach recently signed a document to move forward with work on the Mardi Gras

Boardwalk project. Mardi Gras Boardwalk wants to build a $45 million entertainment complex and hotel facility on nine acres of lakefront property. City officials and the development company have discussed the deal over the last three-plus years. The project is expected to bring in more than 150 construction jobs and more than 1,300 jobs once the facility is finished. The completed facility is expected to generate $520 million in revenue and $11.7 million in sales taxes over 10 years.

retail shopping, a number of Landry’s signature restaurants, including Vic and Anthony’s Steakhouse and Grotto Italian Ristorante, an 18,000-square foot ballroom, an entertainment showroom, meeting spaces, a one-of-a-kind pool and beach front and marina and will include over 3,000-parking spaces.” The casino is expected to have 60 table games, a poker room and 1,600 slot machines.

Golden Nugget Casinos To Buy Ameristar Property

Sowela Technical Community College has received $10 million in capital improvement funds from the state to build a new satellite campus in Jeff Davis Parish. The new facility will replace Sowela’s existing Morgan Smith campus on North Main Street in Jennings.The funding is part of $25 million awarded throughout the state to upgrade and build new community and technical colleges. The new facility would not likely be under construction before 2015.

Golden Nugget Casinos recently announced that it is buying the casino resort and hotel under construction in Lake Charles. The company will still have to be approved by the Louisiana Gaming Control Board to obtain the license and operate in the state. According to a news release from Golden Nugget the resort, to be completed in 2014, “will contain nearly 800 luxury hotel rooms and suites, an 18-hole championship golf course, a world-class spa,

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Chennault Purchases Trailer Park Property After six months of delays, an option agreement was recently approved by the Chennault International Airport Authority that moves forward plans to transform 13 acres of property now used as a trailer park into a $20 million regional training facility across from Sowela Technical Community College. The grant money for the training facility was announced in December, on the heels of Sasol’s announcement that it would invest $21 billion in its facility in Westlake.

Sasol Signs Joint Venture With Texas Co. Sasol has signed a memorandum of understanding with INEOS Olefins and Polymers USA of Clear Lake, Texas, for a possible joint venture to produce highdensity polyethlene. The production site — whether SWLA or SE Texas — has yet to be determined. Under the agreement, Sasol would provide INEOS with ethylene from its proposed ethane cracker unit. INEOS would also provide ethylene to produce polyethlene, used to manufacture goods such as storm drain pipe, film and blow molding.

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TECH BYTES

vic wukovits

Tidy Your Mac Computers are getting smaller and sleeker. These ultrathin notebook computers weigh very little. To accommodate this thin form factor, a solid state drive (SSD) replaces the standard laptop hard drive. These SSDs have less storage space than what we’ve been accustomed to in recent years, but for many, they will suffice for light usage. However, when these SSD storage devices fill up, there’s a need to clear some space. Recently, I had a 64GB Macbook Air come into the shop, filled to capacity. There wasn’t a bunch of stuff that could be deleted, so I turned to another utility for assistance. CleanMyMac 2 is perfect for problems like this (macpaw.com/ cleanmymac). This program, one of a few apps from MacPaw, is available as a free download for evaluation. Touted as “an intelligent Mac cleaner,” the program scans your Mac for “junk” files that can be removed from the system with no effect on your operating system. These files aren’t easily identifiable without the app, so it’s a big help compared to deleting a file here and there. The interface is sleek and amazingly simple to use, so cleanup is a cinch. The easiest way to use the app is to start up “Automatic Cleanup.” It’s as easy as clicking a big button labeled “Scan.” You’ll see the app analyze your system for a variety of items you can easily peruse once the scan is complete. When the scan is finished, the app breaks it down into three segments: System Cleanup, iPhoto Cleanup, and Trash Cleanup. You could then click the same button, which now reads “Clean,” and remove all the items the app found. For more control and to see what you might be clearing out, there’s a list on the left-hand side with additional categorization of the types of files to be deleted, which is usually what I dive into. System Cleanup finds a ton of stuff, but the ones I see that typically take up a bit of space are alternative language files

for the OS. Every Mac installs with many languages available for installation in a different language. Most of us will never use these, so removing them can help. Log files and cache files also add up to some savings. CleanMyMac 2 also finds broken preferences and login items to remove. iPhoto Cleanup finds all the images you’ve rotated, enhanced, cropped, or otherwise altered and marks them for removal. If you’ve already fixed these images, it clears out the original versions from their previous state just in case you ever wanted to remove those enhancements.

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Trash Cleanup clears out the trash on all your Mac hard drives and from your iPhoto Library, which has its own trash.

Trash Cleanup clears out the trash on all your Mac hard drives and from your iPhoto Library, which has its own trash. Trash can be useful to keep if you delete a file and then want to retrieve it at some point. But if you’re using Time Machine for backups, there’s no worry there. CleanMyMac 2 also features an app Uninstaller and identifies old and large files that you might not need anymore. Throw in a file Eraser for secure deletion of files and folders, and you’ve got a lot of features at your disposal. The trial version limits you to 500MB of deletions, so the upgrade is almost always a must. Priced at $39.95, it might be a bit pricey for some. But MacPaw has some bundles available on their website that can help consumers when they buy several things. The program is a saver, both for storage and for time, when you’re cleaning your Mac.

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LAGNIAPPE

WEIRD NEWS

chuck shepherd • illustrations by felix falgoust

Carjacking In Slow Motion A 64-year-old man was arrested in Geelong, Australia after carjacking a 22-year-old woman’s vehicle. He was still on the scene when police arrived, as it took him time to load his walker into the car, along with several bags he had nearby when he decided to commandeer the vehicle.

Priorities At a June hearing, a Philadelphia judge became so exasperated at defendant Robert Williams’ cluelessness about his need to keep his probation appointments that she ordered him to take etiquette classes before he returned to court. Williams, a rap singer and budding music mogul still under court supervision on gun and drug charges from 2008, cavalierly defended his inability to find time for his probation officer by explaining he was a busy man who worked with seven “artists,” had a demanding travel

LAGNIAPPE

August 1, 2013

schedule, and used social media. Williams, of course, was accompanied to court by a several-man entourage.

War Endangers War Relics In June, fighting in the Syrian civil war spread to its west, threatening archaeological digs and already recovered artifacts near the ancient city of Hamoukar — which is the site of history’s earliest known urban warfare (about 5,500 years ago).

Hey, Reach In The Fridge And Grab Me A Book The business website Quartz reported that a popular consumer item in North Korea is the refrigerator, which is made in China and increasingly available as a reward to stellar civil servants and other elites. The appliances can’t reliably be used to store food because the country’s electric grid is so frequently offline. They are mostly just status symbols. One

item Quartz says often gets displayed in the refrigerator: books.

Out Of Control Patrol Robert Dugan, 47, a full-time patrolman for the Delaware County (Pa.) Park Police, was charged in June with illegally impersonating a police officer. According to authorities in Brookhaven, Pa., Dugan had accosted a woman who was double-parked outside her home and tried to pressure her into moving the car, but she refused. Dugan allegedly claimed he was an Upland Borough police officer with authority to write parking citations and make arrests.

other than (oneself).” Atheist Sigfried Gold praised a “rigorous prayer routine,” such as the one he uses to beseech a “vivid goddess he created” to help overcome his weight problem.

Compelling Explanations — Rodger Kelly was arrested in St. George, Utah, for the rape of a female neighbor. He told police he committed the act only to “save” her, since he had discovered her “cold” and unconscious. He had violated her body only “to try and get her temperature up.”

Ironies An atheist “church” in Lake Charles, La., run by lapsed Pentecostal Jerry DeWitt, conducts periodic services with many of the trappings expected by the pious. However, there is no belief in a supreme being. Such “churches” (reported The New York Times and Washington Post in stories that ran the same day) can help soothe the “biological” needs for congregational rituals and help those in the church find meaning “in something

— The low-price air carrier GoAir of New Delhi announced that in the future it would hire only females for the cabin crew because they weigh less than men. GoAir expects to save $4 million annual-

ly in fuel. — Former schoolteacher Kathleen Cawthorne, 33, of Rustburg, Va., successfully negotiated a reduction in her 11-year sentence for having sex with an underage student. Cawthorne’s punishment was set at four months in prison. She told the judge she had been given a clinical diagnosis of “hypersexuality.” The condition, she said, showed she had little ability to control her desire to seduce the boy.

Floridians Standing Their Ground In May, a jury in Tampa decided that Ralph Wald, 70, was not guilty of murdering a 32-year-old man he had shot in the back three times. He said he had caught the man having sex with his wife in his home. On the other hand, Marissa Alexander, 34, of Jacksonville, was sentenced last year to 20 years in prison for “aggravated assault” for merely firing a warning shot during an altercation with her estranged husband. The man, Rico Gray, is a serial domestic abuser who admitted he was threatening Alexander that night and she never pointed her gun directly at him. The judge denied Alexander use of the “stand your ground” defense because she had declined to walk away from Gray.

A NEWS OF THE WEIRD CLASSIC FROM 2009 Lonely Japanese men (and a few women) with rich imaginations have created a thriving subculture (“otaku”) in which they have allconsuming relationships with figurines that are based on popular anime characters. “The less extreme,” reported a New York Times writer in July, obsessively collect the dolls. The hardcore otaku “actually believes that a lumpy pillow with a drawing of a (teenage character) is his girlfriend,” and takes her out in public on romantic dates. “She’s really changed my life,” said “Nisan,” 37, referring to his gal, Nemutan. The otaku dolls are not to be confused with lifesize, anatomically correct dolls. One forlorn “2-D” (so named for preferring relationships with two-dimensionals) said he’d like to marry a real, 3-D woman, “but look at me. How can someone who carries this doll around get married?”

Fetishes On Parade Shaun Orris, 41, was charged with disorderly conduct in Waukesha, Wis., in June after raising a ruckus outside the Montecito Ristorante Lounge. He was harassing passersby by loudly expressing his “constitutional right” to have sex with goats.

Least Competent Criminals A well-dressed, 5-foot-10 man bailed out of an attempted robbery of a New York City Bank of America when the teller he had handed his holdup note to panicked, began screaming “Oh my God!” and ran to the other side of the bank, diving under a counter. According to a witness, the robber stood in silence for a few seconds before fleeing.

Update When last we checked on Wesley Warren Jr., 49, of Las Vegas, he was delaying his inevitable surgery to repair his permanently inflamed, 140-pound scrotum. He said at the time that he was enjoying the many television and radio appearances during which he discussed his plight and that he feared becoming a nobody again after the surgery. He has now had the 13-hour operation, which was done pro bono by Dr. Joel Gelman of University of California, Irvine. Warren will soon be walking without hindrance. August 1, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

john maginnis Audit Turns Spotlight On Tax Assessments An investigation conducted by the Louisiana Legislative Auditor’s Office not only poses questions about the state Tax Commission’s practices, but also its politics. The audit found the commission routinely approves changes to homeowners’ property tax bills that are proposed by parish tax assessors. Of the 8,884 adjustments presented in February and March, 99 percent were accepted. Lawmakers and special interest groups complain that the fivemember commission, which is appointed by Gov. Bobby Jindal, is stacked with members who are more sympathetic to assessors than taxpayers and business and industry. They contend it’s an undoing of the balance that was implemented under former Gov. Kathleen Blanco and is directly related to the very early support Jindal received from the Louisiana Assessors’ Assoc. when he ran for governor in 2007. “You got the fox watching the hen-

house. Maybe that’s why all of this is happening,” said state Sen. Robert Adley, RBenton. “It’s a very political group. Do they need more manpower? I don’t know. But this is a group that has been loaded down with battles over the past few years.”

“You got the fox watching the henhouse. Maybe that's why all of this is happening. It's a very political group. Do they need more manpower?”

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August 1, 2013

— Sen. Robert Adley, R-Benton

Using studies that showed no value changes from one assessment period to another and assessment values that far outstrip fair market values in certain cases, the audit accuses the commission of not ensuring that parish assessors are reappraising properties every four years as dictated by the constitution.

jeremy alford

For example, a study by the auditor comparing the assessments of 2007 and 2012 shows that of Calcasieu Parish’s 53,158 properties, 3,980, or 7.5 percent, had no change whatsoever in fair market value. Moreover, a commission study from 2011 revealed that out of a sample of 204 properties in the parish, 98, or 48 percent, were outside of the acceptable 10 percent deviation between assessed value and local fair market value. The statewide average from the commission study was 39.2 percent. In a written response, Tax Commission Chairman Pete Peters said the audit was “performed with a lack of understanding of the appropriate legal and factual background, or, even worse, with a predisposed intent to find fault where none exists.”

House Delegation Raises $2.2 Million Louisiana’s House delegation on the Hill raised more than $2.2 million during the second quarter, according to reports filed with the Federal Election Commission. It should come as little sur-

prise that half that sum, $1.1 million, was collected by Rep. Bill Cassidy, R-Baton Rouge, who now has $3.2 million in the bank for his 2014 bid against Sen. Mary Landrieu, a New Orleans Democrat. Otherwise, the second quarter leader among House incumbents was Rep. Charles Boustany, R-Lafayette, who raised nearly $354,000, bringing his cash on hand to $331,000. The others stack up as follows: — Rep. Steve Scalise, R-Metairie: $276,000 raised; $766,00 in the bank. — Rep. John Fleming, R-Minden: $200,000 raised; $715,000 in the bank. — Rep. Cedric Richmond, D-New Orleans: $190,000 raised; $236,000 in the bank. — Rep. Rodney Alexander, RQuitman: $137,000 raised; $223,000 in the bank.

Federal Flood Hikes Up For Vote A renewed bid in Congress to delay steep increases in federal flood insurance for Louisiana homeowners is set for a vote, with the state’s whole delegation

pressing for its approval. Leading the bipartisan charge are Sen. Mary Landrieu of New Orleans and Rep. Bill Cassidy, who are opposing each other in next year’s Senate election. The Senate Homeland Security Committee is set to vote on a funding bill that contains language crafted by Cassidy ordering the Federal Emergency Management Agency to delay for one year increased premium rates for the National Flood Insurance Program. Parish officials in south Louisiana have warned that changing the rates will cost some residents up to $20,000 more and make it unaffordable for people to stay in their homes. Landrieu was unable to get her amendment for a three-year delay into the Senate’s farm bill, but has included the language from Cassidy’s amendment in the Dept. of Homeland Security’s appropriations bill, which she is handling.

Judicial Candidate Collects Statewide District 2 of the state Supreme Court covers only 11 northwestern parishes. But since the impact of each of the seven justices extends statewide, attorneys and business interests from across Louisiana are already getting involved in next year’s Shreveport-based election. District Judge Scott Crichton of Shreveport, who is challenging Justice Jeff Victory, has held recent fundraisers in New Orleans, Baton Rouge and Alexandria. Also, Lafayette attorney Glenn Armentor hosted a meet-and-greet for Crichton at the state bar association conference in Destin earlier this year. Crichton jumped into the race late in 2012 when Victory delayed the declaration of his intention to seek re-election, which prompted speculation he would retire. Though the constitution bans judges 70 or older from running, Victory, who turns 68 next year, could serve the full 10 years if he wins a third term. Judging from the host committee, the Baton Rouge event wasn’t confined to the trial bar. “My only requirement was to make sure it’s a diverse group,” said Crichton, who switched from Democrat to Republican last year. Victory, considered the most conservative member of the court, will be strongly supported by the Louisiana Assoc. of Business and Industry and attorneys with footholds in the sector.

“IT’S VERY COMPLEX.”

—Former Gov. Buddy Roemer to the New York Times, on how he came in third place in 1991 behind former Gov. Edwin Edwards, the subsequent victor, and David Duke, a pair the newspaper described as a “crook” and a “Klansman,” respectively.

consulting and campaign service fees. Earlier this year, he established a new SuperPAC, Restore Our Republic, to back conservative congressional candidates in 2014. His said he plans to be especially involved in shaping the open-seat 6th Congressional District race in Louisiana — maybe even as a candidate. Actively raising money for the attorney general race right now is 18th Judicial District assistant attorney Martin Maley, who recently switched to Republican. His private law firm, Maley, Comeaux and Falterman, has offices in Baton Rouge, Napoleonville and Port Allen. Maley has made courthouse friends by organizing fundraisers for candidates for judicial offices, regardless of party or philosophy. “I know how to raise a dollar,” he said. “The question is can I do it for myself.” He said he has set up 13 fundraisers for the rest of the year, starting in his home town of Natchitoches. Also said to be looking at the race are former assistant attorney general Burton Guidry and House Speaker Pro Tem Walt Leger, D-New Orleans. Leger has more than $54,000 in his campaign kitty. He’s also expressed interest in running for speaker if he’s re-elected. In a somewhat related twist, Assistant

Attorney General David Caldwell, 39, the head of the public corruption unit and the attorney general’s son, said he plans to offer his own name for the post of U.S. attorney for the Middle District, which was left vacant by the resignation of Don Cazayoux. U.S. Sen. Mary Landrieu is taking names until Aug. 20 from those interested in the post. She will then interview prospects before she makes her recommendation to the president around Labor Day.

More Democratic Defections Expected State Sen. Rick Ward of Maringouin is the latest Democratic state official to join the Louisiana Republican Party. He made the leap on the heels of House Appropriations Chairman Jim Fannin of Jonesboro, who announced his switch just after Independence Day. Making headlines earlier this summer were African-American defectors Sen. Elbert Guillory of Opelousas and Central City Councilman Ralph Washington. Ward, though, may not be the end of the line. Ross White, political director for the state GOP, said more will soon follow. “We are in discussions with several conservative Democrats,” he said. “We’re

confident that they will be switching, but we don’t know when that will be yet.” Press reports mentioned that termlimited Fannin could be interested in running in 2015 for the state Senate seat to be vacated by the term-limited Sen. Bob Kostelka, R-Monroe. If so, he might need to change his address. Jackson Parish, where Fannin lives, makes up only 10 percent of Senate District 35. With Ouachita Parish making up 50 percent, local observers consider Rep. Jay Morris, R-Monroe, a strong Senate prospect.

Blowback Over Assessments Continues The state’s largest business lobby is raising more red flags over a scathing report issued recently by the Legislative Auditor’s Office. The audit, which targeted the state Tax Commission, found the five-member board that was appointed by Gov. Bobby Jindal approved more than $118 million in assessment decreases and $10 million in increases submitted by parish tax assessors for business and residential properties for 2010 through 2012 without determining the accuracy of the new assessments. There were numerous other findings. The Louisiana Assoc. of Business and Industry believes the findings are evidence that the current administration has abandoned the reforms initiated under former Gov. Kathleen Blanco. LABI President Dan Juneau said the previous commission did audits of assessments around the state and sent assessment rolls back to local assessors when they weren’t doing their jobs properly. “Some parishes have a reputation for fair and accurate assessments. Some do not. Why is it that in the parishes that are more lax in accurate assessment practices, the local governments that are dependent on property tax revenues don’t raise a ruckus about the situation?” Juneau asked. “All politics are local, I guess.”

Race For Top Attorney Underway Potential challengers already have Attorney General Buddy Caldwell looking over his shoulder. But with more than $406,000 in the bank, the Democratturned-Republican can look toward his 2015 re-election bid with some confidence. The latest contender is former Acadiana Congressman Jeff Landry of New Iberia. A favorite of the regional tea party movement, Landry said he likes the idea of being attorney general since the gig’s state responsibilities intersect with federal issues. “Attorneys general across the country are making a big impact on pushing back against the overreach of the federal government,” he said. “That has really caught my attention.” A former candidate for the Louisiana Senate, Landry, a Republican, has a state campaign finance account he zeroed out last year with a round of payments for August 1, 2013

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brad goins

On Clichés Wazzup? Hey, is it hot enough for you? I think I wrote another File 13 about clichés a long time ago. But I always say, if something is worth saying once, it’s worth saying twice. Am I right or am I right? Hey, you know, there are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who say there are two kinds of people in the world and the kind who don’t. Naw, I’m just picking at you. But all seriousness aside, there are two kinds of people in the world: the kind who hate clichés and the kind who don’t mind them. To the people who hate clichés, I would just say that those old sayings often contain a grain of wisdom. That’s why people keep saying them. But how do we know whether a cliché has wisdom in it? I would say that a cliché has wisdom in it if it’s right. But how do we know if it’s right? Well, I’d say we know it’s right if it’s good. So right is good and good is right and always the twain shall meet. LOL. Well, let’s try it with a cliché. A stitch in time saves nine. Is it good? You bet. Is it right? Damn straight. So we can conclude that it has wisdom, period, end of discussion. Let’s try it with another one. Freedom isn’t free. I don’t really think freedom isn’t free is a cliché. But I had a brainiac once

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tell me it was, so I’ll use it as an example. Freedom isn’t free. Is it good? You can bet your bottom dollar on it. Is it right? You can take it to the bank. But let’s suppose that some egghead from the university says to me, “Freedom is by definition the state of being free. Therefore, while something that isn’t free may be a very grand thing, it can never be freedom.” Well, let’s put it to the test. Freedom

isn’t free. Is the statement good? Is three a crowd? Is it right? Is what’s good for the goose good for the gander? So we’ve proved that freedom isn’t free is a cliché — or I would say a statement — that contains wisdom. And in addition to that proof, there’s the additional proof that some have given the ultimate sacrifice so that we can have the freedoms we have. So, again, I’d say that pretty much states the case, proves the point and closes

the discussion. So that one’s done. You can stick a fork in it and turn it over. You can file it. There’s also the evidence that any freedom worth having is worth dying for. Now, I can already anticipate that some of the anti-cliché people are going to say that if you’re dead, you can’t really have any freedom, except maybe the freedom of being dead, which, probably, isn’t really a freedom, strictly speaking. Let’s face it, anybody can form an argument against anything. But when you want to form an argument, you’ve got to stick to brass tacks. Hey, here’s a really annoying cliché: people who say they don’t watch TV. I mean, come on! We all watch it. And we all love it. You know we do. Am I right or am I right? People who say they don’t watch TV are almost always Yankees, aren’t they? What would you say a Yankee is? Somebody who lives north of Texarkana and east of Vicksburg? Works for me! It’s not enough they say they don’t like TV. They say home entertainment centers are “garish” and “in bad taste” and “a horrible waste of time” and stuff like that. Oh, get a life! People who don’t like TV are snobs. And they’re liberals. Have you noticed that? What I’ve noticed is that liberals will always say that conservatives are illogical,

when in fact it’s obvious that the biggest problem with liberals is that they’re illogical. Case in point: Just to prove I’m not illogical, I’ll form a syllogism. Bet you didn’t think I knew what a syllogism is, did you? How’s this: If a liberal doesn’t follow logic, then his thinking isn’t logical and therefore he is illogical. I know that’s not a real syllogism. I mean, I wasn’t born yesterday. I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck. I know it’s not specific enough to be a real syllogism. So I’m going to get serious. Try this one on for size: If the liberals love the French, and the French are all arrogant and rude and antiAmerican, then all liberals are illogical because it’s illogical to be arrogant and rude and anti-American. Think you can refute that? Yeah, you and whose army? I knew this conservative guy once … well, I think he was conservative, but sometimes I think he was just pulling my leg. Anyway, he said something to me once that was so logical I said, “Do me a favor and write that down, bro.” Here’s what he wrote: “If a government exists, there is no logical imperative for the government to provide help of any kind to any person who is poor, homeless, mentally ill or elderly. We may hypothesize that a government that fails to provide such help is cruel or inhumane. But even these easily made assumptions could easily be challenged. The government could simply take the position that it took no stand at all on these matters because they do not pertain to the government.”

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ciples. I always say that if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything. And I know what I stand for. Values. And I know what my values are. Truth, justice, freedom and humanity. I think sometimes you’ve just pretty much got to use clichés as a kind of shortcut. I mean, you don’t explain how a clock works every time you tell somebody what time it is do you? I notice it’s not possible to analyze every little thing right down to the point that every little detail is crystal clear and I’ve got it all figured out. Sometimes it’s just not clear. Sometimes I’ve got to go with the flow. But that’s no reason to be discouraged. Hey, I don’t know why the idea of being discouraged even came to me. Earth to Brad! Whatever! I mean, what was continued

I think sometimes you’ve just pretty much got to use clichés as a kind of shortcut. I mean, you don’t explain how a clock works every time you tell somebody what time it is do you?

Food for thought, I say. Words of wisdom, like ‘em or not. Of course, I don’t really want to get rid of aid for people who are really, really poor. And I certainly don’t want to get rid of my Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid. Why should I? I paid for them, didn’t I? Didn’t I pay into the system? I did my part. Don’t I deserve my share? I deserve more than that if you get right down to it. I deserve that much just for being a human being. I mean, just existing is special. Every human being is precious. I’m valuable just by virtue of my being a breathing, living thing. Life is immeasurable. It’s the most valuable thing there is. You can’t put a price on it. Truth to tell, I do like some of the things liberals do. I don’t tell my buds, of course. But the liberals are the ones who take care of the whales and the people in Tibet and all the rest of it. I’m not going to do a thing about that stuff. But I’m glad somebody is. Why? Karma. Karma means if you don’t take care of the whales, something bad is going to happen to you. What’s the evidence? Check this out: What goes around comes around. Still, you’ve got to stand by your prinAugust 1, 2013

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continued

all that about? Like, asdf. I know I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. On the other hand, I’m certainly not a nerd or a dweeb or a hipster or a hater or a loser of any type. And I don’t whine. I say, if you can’t say something good about a thing, don’t say anything at all. If you want to keep on track, keep positive. If you don’t force yourself to stay positive when you feel bad, you’re just making it worse for yourself in the long run, and for no reason, I might add. So hang in there. Never give up. You want to know how to win in the game of life? Smile. Are there any good ways for us to make ourselves be positive? Hmm. How about … count your blessings? That’ll

work. What else? Stay closer to family than to your enemies? Works for me. Remember, life is good. Life’s a beach. It’s sweet. And it sure beats the alternative, huh? I know, of course, that while I don’t mind clichés that much, there’s a group of folks who don’t like them. One way to tell who’s in the group is to notice who makes fun of clichés. For instance, in the movie Loaded Weapon 1, there are two guys who have this discussion: Gen. Mortars: Where’s the microfilm, Mike? Mike McCracken: I don’t know, I gave it to York. I thought she was one of your men. Mortars: Act in haste, repent in leisure.

McCracken: But he who hesitates is lost. Mortars: Never judge a book by its cover. McCracken: What you see is what you get. Mortars: Loose lips sink ships. McCracken: Life is very short, and there’s no time for fussing or fighting, my friend. Mortars: Sorry Mike, no good. I guess that’s kind of a playful, not too harmful, satire of clichés, which is what you’d expect from a comedy. But of course there’s also the sad part at the end of the serious movie Monster when Aileen Wuornos lists all the clichés. “Love conquers all. Every cloud has a silver lining. Faith can move mountains. Love will

always find a way. Everything happens for a reason. Where there’s life, there’s hope.” Then she laughs and says, “Oh, well. They gotta tell you somethin’.” I guess that was OK because she was serious and in a bad way. After all, necessity makes a mother of invention. But what about this smart aleck Bruce Springsteen? Have you ever heard his song “My Best Was Never Good Enough”? He sings stuff like: “If God gives you nothin’ but lemons, then you make some lemonade. “The early bird catches the [dirty word] worm. Rome wasn’t built in a day. “Now life’s like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re going to get. “Stupid is as stupid does, and all the rest of that [dirty word]. “Come on pretty baby, call my bluff. “’Cause for you, my best was never good enough.” Zoinks! That guy really, really hates clichés. In fact, I think you could call him a hater. And you know, haters be hatin’. Haters gonna hate. Know what I’m sayin’? On the other hand, I gotta admit I always did hate that “Life is like a box of chocolates” with a passion. I hated that sucka from day one. I’m not going to lie to you. I hope that doesn’t make me a hater. It’s occurred to me that lines of popular songs or even song titles might be clichés in and of themselves. For instance, there’s some pop act or country radio act or country pop radio act called Thomspon Square that recorded a song called “If I Didn’t Have You.” It’s got lyrics like: “Sometimes, sunshine gets lost in the rain.” “I couldn’t live without you, baby. I wouldn’t want to.” “You are my heart, every breath I breathe.” “You were made for me.” Do you think these guys were really trying to write lyrics for a song or were they just trying to list clichés like Bruce Springsfield did? I have never been able to figure it out. C’est la vie. One day a while back, I found myself in an odd mood, and I started thinking something like this: “You know, if we just stopped using clichés altogether, would we be able to talk? Would we be able to come up with the phrases we’d need to communicate with each other? Would we even be able to think?” Boy, am I in over my head with that! I mean, I’m just treading water. Dog paddling. I guess it’s like they say: Still waters run deep. One thing I would say for sure is that even if you love to use clichés, you shouldn’t be hard on yourself. Don’t beat up on yourself. Remember that even if you use clichés, you’re special. You’re special because you’re unique and good and full of the special qualities that make you you. You’re special because you’re you. Never forget that you’re good and right and solid and true. Reach! Grow! Expand! Breathe! Onwards and upwards. Damn the torpedoes and never say die. You’re going to be just fine. We all are. We just have to keep reaching for that dream — that crazy, beautiful, glorious, shining, glowing, wild dream! Works for me!

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B y

A u s t i n

P r i c e

Russell Tritico Sr.’s life sounds like the stuff of fiction. A licensed airplane pilot, a former member of the Lake Charles Port Authority board, the current president of the Chennault International Airport Authority board, a skilled woodworker, a saxophonist, a former restaurant owner and a highly accomplished lawyer, Russell possesses such an astounding array of talents and accomplishments that it’s easy to doubt him at first blush. But a quick conversation with him quickly dispels such suspicion: Straightforward, jovial and direct, Russell is unpretentious and unmistakably genuine. If his stories seem fictional, that’s only because they’re full of the kinds of unifying coincidences and fascinating anecdotes that we expect of a good yarn. Even his birth was marked by happenstance: Though he should have been born in Lake Charles (his hometown), a flood stranded his then-pregnant mother in Franklin, where she gave birth to Russell. “By the time my father saw me, I was three weeks old,” he recalls. continued

August 1, 2013

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Russell Tritico, Sr. This same kind of accident spread to every facet of his life, even to his 61-year career as a lawyer. “I wasn’t interested in being a lawyer,” he recalls. “And I still don’t have a degree in law!” Though he began his studies as a law student at Loyola during the ‘40s, he barely finished his first year before he decided to pursue a career as a saxophone player in New Orleans. After a brief stint serving in the Korean conflict (“I cleaned latrines over there. And then I said I’m never doing that again!”), he returned to Lake Charles to work under his uncle, lawyer Joe Tritico, as a paralegal, before taking the BAR exam. The situation Tritico was in at the time was different from the contemporary legal environment, where an applicant to the BAR requires a four-year law degree. During the ‘40s and ‘50s, anyone who mentored directly under a practicing lawyer for two years was eligible to take the BAR exam. “I took my BAR exam … with the same class I started out with. I passed it the first time, and they flunked it,” he says, laughing, his face lit up at the memory. His other interests have had similarly inauspicious beginnings. His woodwork – now more a craft than a hobby – was originally a skill he picked up in order to help his father patch up their home. He earned his pilot license on a lark: a pilot friend looking for legal advice came to Tritico. Tritico agreed to give the advice, but only on the condition that his friend give him free piloting lessons. Where others might have only marveled at their good fortune or missed the chance, Tritico has taken pains to hone mere accident into realized opportunity. As a lawyer, his storied career spans from the day he passed the BAR in 1951 to March of 2012, when he retired and closed the doors of his firm for good. Over those six decades, he served over

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Left: A fishing trip with Russell Jr. in 1991. Inset: Tritico's former law office on Pujo St. was built in 1892.

12,000 clients (only losing two of the 165 felony trials he was involved in); presented cases “in every court in Louisiana;” and was acknowledged by the BAR Society for winning the Case of the Month. He was at one time awarded the largest civil settlement in the Western district (a settlement that, at $250,000, he admits has probably been bested since). At other times, he has changed the safety practices of entire industries, as was the case when he exposed major and willful negligence in the Poulan chainsaw company which, despite manufacturing safer models for the European and Canadian markets, continued to produce chainsaws that lacked a kickback lock for the American market. His work earned him the respect of the legal community and the ire of the chainsaw company, whose president labeled him a “son of a bitch.” As a woodworker, he has developed a childhood skill into a true craft. A quick tour of his house reveals nearly a dozen cabinets, mirror frames and desks that he’s hand-carved and lacquer-worked himself. All of these blend in seamlessly

Russell Tritico, Sr. Below: Russell with wife Thelma and grandson Stephen Russell Kershaw. Right: Tritico building a custom cabinet.

Now retired, Tritico spends his days looking after his wife, who was diagnosed with the rare Gillian Bare Syndrome two months after he closed his firm; honing his woodcrafting; assisting friends with legal advice and, interestingly, writing his autobiography. Afraid of “losing (his) stories,” he hopes to compile the extensive tale of his life into a comprehensive volume. Though I have tried to do a bit of that myself here, the vast number of details I’ve had to omit – significant legal cases, a number of attempts at starting businesses, the specifics of his family life – could fill a volume, if not two.

with the furniture sets they were designed to match, as well as an impressive series of ornate birdhouses – all nearly three feet tall and all hand-painted. That he possesses the skill at all is interesting; that he’s developed this hobby to the level of an expert is fascinating. Perhaps Tritico’s success is due to his principles. While unmistakably intelligent (he is able to hold forth on a number of topics, including but not limited to medicine, biology and, obviously, law), what stands out most in a conversation with him is how, time and time again, he has opposed the corruption, venality and cynicism of his contemporaries. When the Supreme Court overruled a previous ban on advertising by lawyers, he was quick to notice the danger this posed to his profession and oppose the ruling. Though he argued with the local committee in charge of monitoring lawyers that advertising by attorneys should be monitored and restricted lest it debase the profession he was so proud of, he was outnumbered and outvoted and so resigned from the committee in disgust. “I thought (these decisions) caused the profession to lose its place. I thought it was an honorable profession. Now, when you mention you’re a lawyer, you’ve got to defend (yourself),” he sighs. Later, as a member of the Port of Lake Charles’ governing board, he would be faced with a similar situation, and would again resign rather than continue, complicit with corruption. At a time when the port’s governing board was involved in a series of scandals – providing unions with financial kickbacks and other similar misappropriations of funds – Tritico was one of the few voices on the board to dissent; for this he was called in front of a hastily assembled kangaroo court, accused of slandering the board and contractors and threatened with the possibility of retaliation. Undaunted, he simply walked out, telling the board to “kiss [his] ass.” With that level of conviction and steadfast behavior, it is no surprise that he was able to make so much of himself. August 1, 2013

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IN A GRUELING 277-MILE KAYAKING OF THE COLORADO RIVER, ROMAN RYDER WENT FROM BEING “TOTALLY SCARED” TO HAVING “THE BEST FEELING”

hen it came time to kayak the Granite Rapids of the Colorado River, Roman Ryder was awed, and more than a bit intimidated. Looking ahead at the rapids, he wasn’t at all sure he knew how to read them. “I didn’t trust myself totally,” he says. He gathered the leaders of his kayaking team and they did what they always do before every huge rapids. They scouted it. This time, there was a problem. The leaders disagreed about how the river was running. It wouldn’t be possible to agree to a single, unified approach to negotiating the rapids. The results were dramatic. Once the group moved into the rapids, three kayakers in a row flipped in the wild waters. Ryder watched it all, and his unease grew. “I’m getting absolutely worked,” he recalls. Instead of giving in to the growing fear, Ryder decided “just to hang out.” It was a wise choice. Ryder could see he was approaching a hole. Holes are one of the water formations kayakers most respect. “There’s not a lot of air” in a hole, says Ryder. “Waves come over you. You just catch breaths when you can.” Ryder had a few seconds to patch together a strategy for approaching the hole. “I knew it was coming.” He quickly made a decision and acted on it. In the midst of the rapids, he got out of his kayak and tried to swim in such a way 30

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BY BRAD GOINS that he would avoid the hole. “I wanted to get one good breath if I went into it.”

THOUSANDS OF POUNDS OF GEAR

Elves Chasm, located at mile 116 on the Colorado River in the Grand Canyon.

The long, hard trip to the Granite Rapids had begun on March 26 of this year, when Ryder flew from Lake Charles into Flagstaff, Ariz. At the same time, the gear for his kayaking expedition down the 300 miles of the Colorado River that flow through the Grand Canyon was being rafted in from Arkansas. Although Ryder had long dreamed of kayaking the Colorado passage, he’d believed such a trip would never be possible. There was a backlog of 14 years for those trying to get a permit to run a private trip down the river. But all that changed in 2006, when the National Park Service moved to a weighted lottery system for kayaking trips. Five years later, Ryder got this email: Thank you for submitting an application in the Grand Canyon National Park noncommercial river trip lottery. We are pleased to inform you that your lottery application was successful and we have scheduled a standard trip for you to launch from Lees Ferry on March 26, 2012. “Not only had I won a permit,” says Ryder, “but I had received my first choice for a launch date. I could hardly believe it. I had dreamed of paddling the Grand Canyon since I first started kayaking, but never truly believed I would get a chance.”

Ryder prepares for his Colorado River run in the Toledo Bend Spillway.

Havasu Creek descends over 1,400 feet and passes over five waterfalls.

For his great excursion, Ryder put together a team of 17. “I invited kayakers I knew to watch out for me,” he says. He was particularly keen to bring along a friend who’d once shown him how to navigate the whitewater in Salmon River in Oregon. Ryder understood the scope of the challenge that awaited him. “We had a big group,” says Ryder. “Normally you don’t see that [on these sorts of kayaking trips]. It makes it easier. We had thousands of pounds of gear on each raft.” These thousands of pounds of gear were loaded onto 10 rafts. There were five kayaks. A lot of the weight of the gear must have come from the ice required to keep food cold for 18 people. Although it was only March, temperatures in the Grand Canyon were already climbing into the 90s in the day. As a kayaker, Ryder was dressed in a dry suit: an entirely waterproof suit that covers almost all the body. Only hands and head are exposed. Inside the suit are layers of fleece and even booties. All of this is meant to insulate the kayaker against the coldness of the water, which is typically in the 40s in the spring. “You’re dressing for cold water, but it’s hot [outside],” says Ryder. During the two weeks of kayaking on the Colorado, Ryder had to somehow negotiate air temperatures in the 90s and water temperatures in the 40s. One way he did it was to make frequent flips in the kayak. With his head doused in cold water, he’d be able to keep the top part of his body cool for a while. The group kayaked 20 to 30 miles a day.

HIPPO WATER AND BLOODY HANDS Ryder prepared for his long, arduous whitewater challenge on the Colorado by kayaking at the Toledo Bend Spillway during a dry period when large amounts of water being released into the spillway created challenging whitewater situations. Still, as every athlete knows, there are some events you can prepare for as long as you like. You’ll never be quite ready for them. That was the case with the kayaking of the long monster waters of the Grand Canyon. “I’d never kayaked anything anywhere near that long,” says Ryder. Serious kayakers run up against a host of obstacles on a trip like this. One of these is whitewater that’s especially wild: a kind of water that’s called “hippo water.” Ryder continued August 1, 2013

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describes this water as “boiling, swirling,” with currents “going sideways” and with whirlpools a common risk. Then there’s the wear and tear on the hands. As Ryder’s hands went from dry to wet over and over during the course of the trip, the skin on his hands eventually chafed severely — finally to the point that the hands became bloody. Each morning, he covered the skin of his hands with Super Glue. But by the end of the day, the glue had been worn away. “My hand was going numb and waking me up at night,” says Ryder. “At the end, every stroke was pain. I got to the point I considered stopping.”

‘PRETTY SPOOKY’ The overall process of making this Colorado River run is extremely demanding, and, initially, creates a sense of disequilibrium even for well-trained and experienced kayakers. “At first,” says Ryder, “it’s pure chaos. It seems like complete chaos and you can’t make sense of it.” It’s hard to adjust to the long onslaught of 10-15 feet waves. “After a week,” though, says Ryder, “it slows down and makes sense.” When the group reached Phantom Ranch, which is just up-river from the first unusually tough rapids, it had to take a long break. A new team member who was walking in to replace another member was late. By the time he made it, it had started to rain. The rain made darker what was already a dark environment: that of Horn Rapids, which even on sunny days looks “dark and ominous” beneath the “sheer high walls” that rise up on each side of the water. In this rapids, Ryder “got turned sideways” in the biggest wave he’d encountered yet. “I should have shouldered into it,” he says. “It was pretty spooky.” He’d face even spookier moments during his run of the Granite Rapids, described at the beginning of this story. In that run, Ryder was fortunate to swim skillfully and emerge on the far side of the massive hole with enough breath to keep swimming. Swimming in such conditions is a risky proposition for several reasons. One is the danger of hypothermia. A swimmer who’s gotten soaked in such cold waters must dry off and heat up quickly. During his kayaking history, Ryder’s seen swimmers who didn’t warm up again fast enough transported to hospitals via helicopter.

‘THE BIGGEST DECISION I EVER MADE’ Ryder and his team still had to get through the Lava Falls Rapids — the baddest of the bad boys. Rapids are rated from 1-10 on a scale of difficulty. Whitewater experts rank Lava Falls as a 9 or 10. One prominent characteristic of Lava 32

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Falls is its V waves: water flows from both sides of the river, converging in the middle, so that the waves look like a series of large Vs. If one is at the center of the V when the waves hit, the water “just crashes,” says Ryder. Here’s another big feature of the rapids: at one stage, the kayaker experiences a 13foot drop over the course of eight seconds. It’s been called “the most exciting eight seconds in sports.” Choosing to go ahead and brave the rapids was, says Ryder, “probably the biggest decision I ever made.” He once again found himself on the verge of getting stuck in a hole in the water. Again, he decided and acted quickly. He chose to “duck dive” — duck under the surface of the water into the V waves. “It was like getting hit with a bus,” says Ryder. “It knocked out my nose plugs. It was just the best feeling.” As he proceeded down the rapids, Ryder again decided to take his “just hang out” approach. “A lot of [kayaking is] relaxing,” he says. One can see that in situations in which one has to choose the right instant to raise the head out of the water to get a much-needed breath. Ryder notes that the adult human head weighs eight pounds. In unusually fast, heavy waters, it can be a real challenge to lift the head out of the water. One has to wait for the moment when the resistance to the head’s weight will be minimal.

THINGS LOOKED DOABLE Ryder was now into the stage of the trip at which he was feeling a great deal more comfortable with his experience level. “Everything,” he recalls, “looked a little more doable … I went from being totally timid scared to being out there by myself.” He was now tending to kayak by himself

Descending from top: Ryder maneuvers the rapids; typical nightly camp setup; Ryder works with high waves in the midst of the Colorado; Ryder finishes his run in the rapids.

far ahead of the rest of the group. His new feeling of assurance extended from his kayaking to all areas of his life, he says. Kayakers usually take a trip of 225 miles on this portion of the Colorado River; Ryder’s group would end up extending it to 277 miles. It’s ironic that as Ryder’s comfort and confidence reached their peak, the difficulty of the course diminished significantly. As the group approached the Nevada border, water released from the Hoover Dam began to dominate the Colorado; as a result, many of the rapids were completely under water. And there was another development that dampened enthusiasm: large numbers of tourists began to be seen. It was a good time to end the trip.

A NEW KAYAKING JOURNEY Not long after the end of that momentous journey, Ryder began to take another big journey: the journey to his own business. His River Less Paddled store opened at 3823 Ryan St. just a few weeks ago. Before he opened, Ryder spent a good deal of time researching other kayak shops. For his own, he’s brought in brands he prefers, with the result that the store offers some brands rarely seen. Ryder will eventually add backpacking and other outdoor sports.

In addition to selling goods, store staff will take people on kayaking trips. “I’ve been surprised at the interest,” says Ryder. “It’s something totally new” to this area. “You’ve kind of got to create the market.” One of the things Ryder’s been doing to create the market is informing potential customers that there’s whitewater nearby. You can find it at Toro Bayou in the South Toledo Bend area. “It’s a little over an hour away,” says Ryder. “Nobody knows about it.” For descriptions and photographs of this Louisiana whitewater, go to Americanwhitewater.org and search for Toro Bayou. Hours at the new store are WednesdaySaturday 10-6. You can follow it on Facebook or Instagram, or visit their Website at riverlesspaddled.com.

‘PLACES NO ONE CAN SEE’ Ryder first got the idea for his new store when he happened to look down at the bottom of his shirt one day and noticed a tag he’d never noticed before. The tag read, “Do what you love and love what you do.” It’s clear that Ryder not only loves kayaking, but loves it deeply enough to become knowledgeable about it and experienced with it. He can even articulate some of the reasons for this level of commitment. “Kayaking allows me to go into deep canyons into places no one can see,” he says. It also enables him to notch whitewater achievements that can’t be seen or felt, but that amount to more than most people will accomplish in a lifetime of ordinary living.

Your Fine New Parcel Of Land May Seem Dry As A Bone. But The Army Corps Of Engineers May Still Deem It Wetlands. What Happens Then? BY BRAD GOINS

WHAT IF YOUR NEW LAND IS WETLANDS?

ou’ve gotten your ducks in a row. You’ve bought your big, beautiful parcel of Southwest Louisiana land. Your bank loan for the proposed development seems to be almost a sure thing. Partners, investors and tenants are lining up nicely. You’ve also made a good faith effort to make sure you’re not building on any wetlands. You’ve looked over the parcel pretty thoroughly. The ground has felt firm all the time and you haven’t seen a single body of standing water. But have you asked the Army Corps of Engineers whether it can detect any wetlands in the parcel? If you haven’t, you may find out that the Corps looks for characteristics of wetlands that aren’t necessarily visible to the eye of even an unusually observant inspector. continued

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WETLANDS continued In its July 24 edition, the Baton Rouge Business Report related the colorful story of Randy Rogers, CEO of the Livingston Economic Development Council, whose group had invested in eight acres of land near Walker, La. Rogers’ assessment was that if ever there was dry ground, this was it. The Business Report quoted him as saying “If a duck tried to land anywhere in that acreage, he’d get brush burns.”

Lands That ‘Just Don’t Look Very Wet’ Some members of the Army Corps of Engineers might laugh at that joke. And at the same time, they might conclude that Rogers and his group had bought some wetlands. When the Corps assesses Louisiana land that might be wetlands, it looks at three criteria: soils, vegetation and hydrology. Soils are considered wetlands soils if they’re “hydric” — that is, if they’ve been formed through flooding or saturation by water. As for vegetation, the Corps assesses the vegetation on the land to see whether much of it is the sort of vegetation that grows in wetlands. Then there’s hydrology. If the ground is saturated at or near the surface for at least five percent of the growing season, it can be classified as wetlands. It doesn’t take much brainstorming to see how plots that meet these three criteria for wetlands classification could be very dry during much of the year. In fact, the Corps has a term for just such land; it’s called “jurisdictional wetlands.” The US Army Corps of Engineers, which, in Louisiana, is headquartered in

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When the Corps assesses Louisiana land that might be wetlands, it looks at three criteria: soils, vegetation and hydrology. If the ground is saturated at or near the surface for at least five percent of the growing season, it can be classified as wetlands. New Orleans, may have had in mind common sense notions of what is and isn’t wetlands when it adapted its official definition of wetlands. Here’s the definition in full: “[Wetlands are] those areas that are inundated or saturated by surface or ground water at a frequency and duration sufficient to support, and that under normal circumstances do support, a prevalence of vegetation typically adapted for life in saturated soil conditions. Wetlands generally include swamps, marshes, bogs and similar areas. “Wetlands are areas that are covered by water or have waterlogged soils for long periods during the growing season. Plants growing in wetlands are capable of living in saturated soil conditions for at least part of the growing season. “Wetlands such as swamps and marshes are often obvious, but some wetlands are not easily recognized, often because they are dry during part of the

year or ‘they just don’t look very wet’ from the roadside. Some of these wetland types include, but are not limited to, many bottomland forests, pocosins, pine savannahs, bogs, wet meadows, potholes and wet tundra.”

Limited Options What if you’ve learned that a parcel of ground you’ve bought is in fact deemed “jurisdictional wetlands”? Are you prohibited from developing the land? Not necessarily. The state holds a good deal of wetlands in what are called “wetland mitigation banks.” The wetlands in these “banks” are maintained by government for various purposes: as wildlife habitats, for flood control and so forth. According to the Louisiana Office of Coastal Management’s somewhat wordy explanation, the purposes of the state’s land mitigation banks are the “replacement, substitution, enhancement or protection of ecological values to offset anticipated losses of ecological value caused by a permitted activity.” The basic idea behind the complex operation of land mitigation banks is that a person who wants to develop wetlands in one part of the parish can do so by investing a particular sum of money in wetlands in another part of the parish. This money would, one presumes, go to the cost of the upkeep, management and so forth, of the lands. All of this is done through the purchasing of a number of “mitigation credits” from a land mitigation bank in the parish where the development will take place. To complicate matters further, the number and kind of credits a developer can buy is limited by the number and type of mitigation banks in his parish. The more limited the number or kind of banks one has access to, the more limited is the number of credits he can acquire for development.

stand of pines along I-59 near Mandeville. The pines “appear high and dry to the naked eye,” reported the Times-Picayune. When the Rouse family got the estimate for the wetlands mitigation fee, it was astonished by the amount. Why was the cost so high? In May of 2011, the Corps of Engineers office in New Orleans, reported the Picayune, had decided to follow a plan of Wetlands mitigation known as the Modified Charleston Method (named after the wetlands mitigation plan in use in Charleston, S.C.). The new plan significantly raised the cost of wetlands mitigation in Louisiana. It accounted for the figure of $37,000 for one acre for the Livingston Council. The Rousse family said the plan quadrupled the cost of the land where it would have built the market. The family decided this additional cost was more than it was willing to absorb. The plans for the market

were shelved. The Corps argues that the increased fees for wetlands mitigation are needed because Louisiana is losing such a large amount of wetlands. Others argue that business and government can find ways to preserve coastal land at a reasonable cost while continuing to develop lands near the coast. In these arguments, businesspeople sometimes point out that moving development north to higher lands isn’t always an option because these lands don’t have the population or infrastructure needed to support large-scale development.

Limitations Of The System Even the state’s Office of Coastal Management is down on the Corps’ new high costs of doing mitigation. The office stated that the Corps’ new mitigation plan

would “impose excessive mitigation requirements and exponential penalties on public works and infrastructure projects while not providing enough credit for marsh creation projects or ensuring that sufficient mitigation banking opportunities are available.” One of the complaints of the developers of the Rouses market was that they only had access to one wetlands mitigation bank in St. Tammany Parish. Developers in our area who are attracted to land that might be wetlands continued

Sticker Shock Wetlands mitigation banks may not be an option every developer is eager to take advantage of. Just to get the go-ahead to develop one acre of its parcel, the Livingston Development Council had to pay $37,000 to a mitigation bank. That’s $37,000 for a single acre. The council could afford the payment, but would rather have used the money to benefit future tenants of the property. In spring of last year, residents of the highly populated St. Tammany Parish resigned themselves to not getting the Rouses Market they’d been expecting. The market was to be built where there was a

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WETLANDS continued can turn to two “banks”: the Petit Bois Mitigation Bank and the Pecan Bayou Mitigation Bank, both of which have offices in Cameron Parish. The Petit Bois mitigation bank states that its “primary watershed … contains much of the city of Lake Charles, including the entire southern area which has experienced significant growth, especially south of the I-210 Loop, and the entire city limits of Sulphur and West Lake, both major industrial areas.” This mitigation bank plants more than 1,000,000 trees a year. At the same time, it works with such large business and industrial clients as CenterPoint and BP. Revisions to the new expensive Louisiana mitigation plan may be called for in the federal Water Resources Development Act, which was passed by the U.S. Senate in May and may be passed by the House later this year. Some had hoped that the Supreme Court decision in the 2006 Rapanos v United States case would ease the challenges faced by those who want to develop in lands deemed wetlands. In the case, the court handed down a looser concept of wetlands than those it had used in the past. In fact, the town of St. George, Utah, felt the concept had been loosened so much, it went ahead and built an airport on property designated wetlands without getting a permit from the Corps. At first, the Corps said it would levy a $1,000 fine for each day the airport was in operation. It later backed down from the threat. All that happened seven years ago. The Corps may have learned from the incident and may have taken measures to see that there wasn’t a repeat performance. Right now, the Army Corps is processing 6,000 violations of its wetlands developments policy every year.

What You Can Do Land owners in Louisiana would be wise to obtain a permit from the Army Corps of Engineers before they work in ground that could be deemed wetlands. If you’ve bought land in the area, and you think there is any chance at all it could be considered wetlands, get the Army Corps of Engineers to determine whether any part of the land meets the Corps’ standards for wetlands. A Corps inspection can be especially helpful if only a small part of the parcel of land is ultimately deemed wetlands. Make it an item of your to-do list to confirm the Corps’ inspection of your new land yourself. One land buyer recently built a new house on a parcel of land a portion of which the Corps later deemed to be wetlands. The owner had assumed that her contractor would contact the Corps and handle the inspection. He didn’t. This appears to be one part of the development process in which failure to take a hands-on approach can carry a high cost. If you intend to place dredged or fill material in a wetland or in an area that might be a wetland, or if you plan to take any other actions that might significantly alter the land or be considered development of the land, call the Regulatory Branch of the Corps at (504) 862-2270. The branch can help you through the inspection process. 36

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Statistics Mean Whatever You Want Them To Mean BY R. PATRICK DIAMOND

NUMBERS, NUMBERS AND MORE NUMBERS!

ll we seem to hear about lately here in Southwest Louisiana is numbers. We get numbers from the Louisiana Dept. of Economic Development, numbers from the Alliance for Southwest Louisiana, numbers from trade groups — and all are saying how many new jobs we are going to have and how we are entering into a boom time. Well, let’s see how we’re doing so far in 2013.

The above charts show the number of new listings per month entered into the Southwest Louisiana Assoc. of

Realtors Multiple Listing Service (MLS). A total of 1,269 new listings came on the market in the first half of 2013, com-

pared to 1,247 for the same period in 2012. This is a slight increase of new listings on the market. continued

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NUMBERS continued Now look at the next charts, which shows the number of closed sales per month for the same periods. As you can see, the number of closed sales in the first half of 2013 jumped to 886 from 791 in the first half of 2012. This is an increase of 12 percent from one year to the next. While this is impressive, it doesn’t put the real estate market into a runaway seller’s market just yet. The number of homes currently active in the MLS is 730. With an average of a little over 147 sales per month, that translates into 4.9 months of inventory on the market. In our market, 3 to 6 months of inventory is considered a normal market; over 6 months of inventory is a buyer’s market and under 3 months of inventory is a seller’s market. So, based on our inventory and current sales rate, we’re in a normal market tending towards the buyer’s market side. Now let’s look at the various price ranges to see how they’re doing year over year. The most interesting phenomenon has to do with the low end and high end of the market. The $0-$99,999 segment of the market went down from 39

The number of closed sales in the first half of 2013 jumped to 886 from 791 in the first half of 2012. This is an increase of 12 percent from one year to the next. While this is impressive, it doesn’t put the real estate market into a runaway seller’s market just yet. percent of the market in 2012 to only 31 percent of the market in 2013. This was a drop of 10.7 percent. The $500,000 and up range dropped from 1.8 percent of the market to 0.7 percent for a loss of 57.1 percent of market share. The $100,000-$199,999 segment of the market moved from 40 to 44 percent of the market for a gain of 25.4 percent

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of market share. The $200,000-$299,999 range also increased its market share from 14 to 17 percent. This was a gain of 40.7 percent in market share. The next category was the $300,000-$399,999 range, which also increased its share of the market, going from 4 to 5 percent of the number of homes sold. This was a 38.2 percent increase in market share. And finally, the $400,000-$499,999 segment also increased, going from 1 to 2 percent of the market for a whopping 100 percent increase in share. Looking at the 2012 chart, it’s instructive to note that 79 percent of the total number of homes sold through the MLS are under $200,000 in price. And even though that percentage has decreased to 75 percent in 2013, that’s still the vast majority of the homes sold in our area. When you consider that the average price of all the homes sold in the MLS only increased from $148,969 to $153,726, or 3.2 percent, from the first half of 2012 to the first half of 2013, it’s clear we are not yet in the “boom” that everyone keeps expecting. It is coming; it is just not here yet.

DOWNSIZING YOUR HOME If you’re considering a move to a smaller place — or are just ready to simplify your life — it’s smart to pare down. Here’s how to make cutting back less painful: Plan. Even if you’re merely entertaining the idea of moving, it’s worth scaling back your possessions early on. Get rid of things now, and you’ll have less to move later. It’s also the perfect opportunity to do an updated home inventory and share that with your insurance agent. Edit away. As you carefully sort through each room, seriously consider what belongings you must have to be happy, and what you can live without. From there, create labeled piles: • Belongings to keep. • Treasures to give to family. • Items in good condition to donate. • Things to trash.

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BUYING LAND Tips On Finding The Perfect Spot For Your New Home

henever I think about buying land, I can’t help but hear the theme song for that 1960’s TV show running through my head: “Green acres is the place for me.” Laugh if you want, but urban dwellers often idealize what it’s like to live on acreage outside city limits. So before you decide to dump it all for “give me that countryside” and buy land on which to build your dream home, consider first the realities.

Benefits To Buying Land Land costs drop in the country. The further away from the city, the cheaper the acreage. Many people buy land because they want to build a custom home to their own specifications. They also want cleaner air and more space. Wide open areas without trees shading the house are perfect settings in which to install solar panels, which is a concern for many environmentally concerned buyers who use green building materials.

Drawbacks Finding skilled craftsman willing to travel might be difficult. Some might not

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show up as promised and may want higher wages to compensate for the distance. Transporting building materials and paying for delivery will likely cost more than if you were building a home in the city. Although modern conveniences are available, they aren’t always reliable in the middle of nowhere, which is why many home owners in the country use generators as a back up when utilities fail. Going into town for groceries and other shopping needs generally requires planning and long trips. If it floods, and the roads don’t drain properly, you could be flooded in for days.

Rent Before Buying If you are unfamiliar with an area, it might be a good idea to rent a home in the area first before buying the land and beginning construction. As a new resident, you can get to know the community first hand and hear stories from local owners that you won’t hear if you pull up in an SUV with a fat wallet in your pocket asking about MLS listings. Resale value is often softer in the country than the city. That’s because the pool of potential buyers is smaller. If demand is low and supply is high, home

prices will be more negotiable. As a tenant, you can try to time the real estate market and be ready to buy that parcel of land when it first becomes available.

Factors To Consider Before Buying Land Zoning Requirements. Check with local authorities to determine zoning ordinances and whether you can build the type of home you want before committing to buying the land. Ask about future zoning, whether there are plans to put in shopping centers or airports, or to change nearby land uses that could also devalue your land. Smells and Sounds. Realize that you might be trading exhaust fumes from city buses for the lovely odors produced by pig farms. Some farm animals such as geese and donkeys produce squawks and brays that travel for miles. Horses along country roads drop steaming piles of waste. It’s not like anybody carries along a plastic bag and picks up after their horses.

Check with local authorities to determine zoning ordinances and whether you can build the type of home you want before committing to buying the land. Get a hazard disclosure, and look for soil problems.

and make sure it’s recorded. Find out who maintains the roads and what your prorata share might cost for upkeep. What rights do neighbors have to cross your land? Are the boundaries clearly marked? Obtain title insurance, which will disclose easements and restrictive covenants or conditions. You might want to order a survey of the land. Utilities. Water is important. Not all water is potable. Sometimes water rights don’t “run with the land,” which would mean you couldn’t dig a well. Find out the depth of your water table and determine the difficulty of digging. It can be costly to bring electricity, telephone or cable services to the property if they aren’t already established nearby. Will you need to install a propane tank? Consider a generator for back-up during power outages. If you can’t hook up to a sewer, what will it cost to install a septic system? Appraisal. It’s common to pay cash for land. If you’re not planning to finance the land purchase through a conventional lender, which will require a lender appraisal, then obtain your own appraisal to determine an appropriate price before making an offer. Comparable sales are sometimes difficult to find when buying land.

Natural Hazards. Obtain a natural hazard disclosure, and look for soil problems. A disclosure will tell you if the land is a protected habitat, which would prohibit building. Is the area a known fire hazard? Is the fire department supported solely by volunteers? Many owners in the country maintain private ponds for fire emergencies. Elevation. If the land is located near water, how likely is the land to move? Some slab foundations can crack if the land is unstable. For construction near bodies of water, you might want to consider building a raised foundation and make sure to buy flood insurance. If the land was once a swamp, ask neighbors about the condition of their foundations. Easements. If access to your land is provided by driving across an adjoining parcel, you should obtain an easement August 1, 2013

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NEW OR OLD? Should A First-Time Home Buyer Buy A New Or An Older Home?

t used to be that new homes cost more than older homes, but that’s not true across the board anymore. As land costs increase, the size of new home lots have shrunk. One can practically crawl out of a bedroom window and into the window of the home next door. Homes are that close in proximity. Another reason today’s newer homes are cheaper is because it’s less expensive to use 2 x 4 pine framing or engineered wood over 2 x 6 redwood, and to use drywall instead of plaster. Buyers who look at inner-city homes in desirable neighborhoods will find, on average, larger lot sizes, and the homes will cost more than entry-level new homes being developed in new subdivisions outside the city. Here are some advantages and disadvantages to consider when trying to determine whether you should buy a newer home or an older home.

Advantages To Buying An Older Home Old world construction. Older homes have stood for decades, some for centuries, and have weathered many storms. Some were built by hand by genuine craftsman, with meticulous attention to detail. Larger yard. Years ago, when land was cheaper, builders built on larger lot sizes, leaving room to accommodate garages on alleys. More character. Craftsman bungalows originated in California in the 1890s, but now they’re ubiquitous across the U.S. Other popular styles are Victorians, Greek Revivals, Tudors and Colonials. Interesting architectural features are abundant in these homes — arches, hand-carved decorative appointments, stained-glass windows. Longer-term neighbors. Some older homes are passed down through generations. Many neighbors know each other. 42

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Established neighborhood. Zoning changes are unlikely to occur in older areas. Mature trees and vegetation. It’s not uncommon to see 100-year trees providing canopies in yards and boulevards. Closer to downtown entertainment and restaurants. Not only do older areas tend to be located closer to downtown areas, but often within walking distance of local coffeehouses and antique stores.

Drawbacks to Buying An Older Home More maintenance. If it were a “perfect” house, everything would fall apart at the same time. But things tend to go wrong periodically, and there’s always something to fix. Chimneys and stone foundations require tuckpointing. Floors may slope. Expensive to replace wiring and plumbing. If a home was built before sewer systems, the cesspool might overflow into a sewer. Tree roots break up sewer pipes. Galvanized pipes are rustprone. Sensitive electronics require grounded wiring, and Romex can’t be mixed with knob and tube. Smaller closets, storage space, garages. Before today’s concept of “bigger is better,” people had less clothing, fewer personal items to store and only one car. Might require updates. Apart from HVAC systems — I don’t know how those in hot climates get by without central air — trendy updates involve pricey kitchen and bath remodels. Often more expensive. Classic and vintage homes generally cost more because of the location, meaning closer to conveniences such as schools, mass transit, shopping and urban amenities. Smaller square footage on average. With the exception of estates, many older homes are smaller in size, even though family sizes were larger when they were built.

Advantages To Buying A Newer Home Little maintenance. New construction is meant to last for a while, so new home owners are not likely to install a new roof or replace the water heater. Modern conveniences. Many items are standard, such as built-in dishwashers, refrigerators, microwaves and wine coolers; newer homes usually feature master suite baths, work-out and media rooms; wiring systems are networked. Builder’s warranty. In California, builders are required to give buyers a 10year warranty. The first line of defense is to buy from a reputable builder who will agree to stand behind the structure and its components. Energy efficient. Many homes are built with solar panels that can turn back the electric meter. New appliances use less energy. Walls, ceilings and floors are insulated. Dual pane windows retain more heat in winter and keep the home cooler in summer.

For some, buying an older home with a larger, more mature yard and vegetation is preferable to buying a newer home with littleto-no landscaping. Plus, you won't feel like you're too close to neighbors.

When builders can’t build out, they build up.

Drawbacks To Buying A Newer Home Tract homes have similar floor plans. Some say tract homes are identical to each other; they have no individuality. Others prefer that conformity. So what if your neighbor’s house look just like yours? At least you know where the light switches are located. Immature vegetation. It can take years for trees to grow. Many home owners can’t afford to landscape the back yard. The front of these homes look magnificent, but look out an upstairs’ window and everybody’s lawn is dirt. House settling. New houses settle. It happens everywhere, regardless of the type of soil. Settling causes cracks in foundations, walls and door frames. Longer commuting distances to downtown. If you want to be where the action is in a metropolitan downtown area or avoid the drive to work in rushhour city traffic, the distance from downtown might make a difference to you.

Built to code. Code regulations change all the time. Consumer safety issues are continually addressed in new construction and conform to building codes. Emotional factor of newness. Let’s face it, there’s nothing like owning something that’s brand new, never been used, whether it’s a car or a home. Less expensive. If the new home is not custom, it’s likely to cost much less per square foot than an older home in the city. Greater square footage, on average. It’s typical to see two bedroom homes with 1,000 square feet sell for the same as a two-story, 2,500 square foot home in the suburbs. August 1, 2013

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Lindsey Janies Photography

Going With The Flow Local Women Ride The Tide Of Small Business Ownership • By Angie Kay Dilmore

SEVERAL ADJECTIVES can be used to describe successful businesspersons: hard-working, determined, dedicated. But with a fluctuating economy and the ever-changing needs of customers, it requires more than just fortitude to survive the roller-coaster of entrepreneurship. Carol Henry has owned The Perfect Gift shop on Hodges Street in Lake Charles’ Cottage Shop District since 2000. She suggests that a successful business owner needs to be teachable. “You have to learn,” says Henry. “Depending on the economy, each year is a different year. “You also learn that there are different times of the year. Summer months are a little bit slower. That’s when you get things done that you haven’t had time to do. You learn when the slow times are and take advantage of that. Then you

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pick up speed towards fall and Christmas. Different businesses will have different seasons. In retail, the fourth quarter makes your money.”

UPS AND DOWNS TeCi Culpepper runs an upscale women’s apparel shop, TeCi’s Ladies Apparel, at 3125 Ernest St. She, too, has learned to persevere through the ups and downs of an unpredictable economy. During the lean times, she adapts by cutting back on advertising or employee hours. And she patiently holds on, because she knows the market is cyclical.

“Usually when I have a slow spring, I have a really big fall,” says Culpepper. Vera Hollier has owned Novus Windshield with her husband Jerry for the past 29 years. Hollier says that learning sound business practices is the key to surviving the rough patches. “A year to a year and a half ago, we saw a significant decrease in our business, and the only thing we could associate it to was the economy,” says Hollier. “As times get difficult and money gets short, people cut back and may not get their broken windshield replaced. We felt that [apparent downturn in the economy]. It was troublesome and concerned us. “But I married the right man. He’s

frugal. From the beginning, he knew how to budget, plan, and save for those days that we hoped would not come. But those times do come. Business slows.” Hollier says business has picked up again recently.

ADAPTABILITY She says another key to business success is to learn to be adaptable — to change with the times in order to meet customers’ needs. There are currently three locations of Novus Windshield: in Sulphur, Lake Charles and Kinder. But the couple started with one simple car inspection shop. “The first day [in business], we did six vehicle inspections and we thought we were something,” says Hollier. But she and her husband quickly recognized their customers’ need for more services. continued

“You have to learn. Depending on the economy, each year is a different year.” Carol Henry, The Perfect Gift

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Are you in the market for a home mortgage? If so, stop by to discuss your loan options with owner Candy Pemberton or any of the mortgage originators at American Mortgage. Servicing SWLA since 1999, and offering over 30 years of combined experience in mortgage lending, the originators at American Mortgage offer their expertise to guide you through your loan process to the optimal loan program. Lending services are available for all types of home mortgages, such as purchases, new construction, and refinances. Offering free pre-approvals, great rates, low closing costs and after-hour appointments for your convenience, you are sure to find the product that is perfect to fit your needs. American Mortgage is an affiliate of the SWLA Association of Realtors, a member of the Better Business Bureau, and the Chamber SWLA.

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Going With The Flow “No shortcuts. Our customers' safety comes first.”

They added windshield repair and sold wiper blades, car light bulbs and other items related to car inspection. Some time later, they added auto glass replacement. Henry initially sold only gifts in her quaint shop. But she listened to her customers when they expressed a desire for her to sell moderately priced clothes. “Now apparel is my biggest seller,” she says. Culpepper responds to comparable customer desires by filling her shop with the latest in fashion trends for her more mature customer base.

Vera Hollier, Novus Windshield Repair

gram that gives her customers bonuses for shopping with her. She says the core of their business existence is customer satisfaction. “If our customers aren’t satisfied, we lose our business. Word of mouth travels quickly. We will bend over backwards to meet a customer’s needs. Whatever it takes.” Being in the automotive business, safety is also a concern for Hollier. “We never compromise customer safety. There are products out on the market that are not of a standard of quality that we

CUSTOMER SERVICE These women have learned that excellent customer service is vital to the success of their business. “I love clothes and I love helping people,” says Culpepper. “I love making ladies look good. I get to know my customers, and service is our main thing. “We make our customers feel welcome. We greet them at the door and offer a cold drink. We talk to our customers and find out what they want. “We pull apparel from the racks and take it to their dressing room. We fit them and do alterations. It’s old-school

service and not what you find everywhere else.” Henry uses a frequent buyer pro-

“We make our customers feel welcome. We offer old-school service and not what you find everywhere else.” TeCi Culpepper, TeCi’s Ladies Apparel

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demand, and we refuse to use those. We use the best products on the market and follow the installation guidelines to a T. No shortcuts. Our customers’ safety comes first. We acknowledge our customers and their concerns.”

SHOP LOCAL! Of course, local entrepreneurs can only adjust to business fluctuations and thrive if their businesses are, in fact, in business. The more local consumers opt to do their business at the big box stores, the less revenue there is for the local businesses. The bigger the slice of the pie for the big boxes, the smaller the slice for everyone else. There’s only one solution. Local customers must resist the temptation to abandon their local merchants in favor of the big box option. Small businesses contribute much to the area community. But they need consumer support to thrive. Local women business owners advise: Shop local!

Lead By Asking Divisiveness and office gossip and politics can create emotional pollution that’s as offensive as trash left lying on the floor. Businesswomen should think about whether they ever increase the amount of emotional pollution in a business setting. When someone tells you a juicy tidbit about a colleague, how do you respond? Do you simply say “uh huh” and walk on? Perhaps you ask for details, and wind up making a remark such as, “I knew she couldn’t be trusted.” Perhaps you would go to another colleague and say, “Wait till you here this.” It’s not as if all gossip is negative. Everyone’s been conditioned to respond to gossip in certain ways. Some of that conditioning has arisen out of the needs to survive and be safe. It’s helpful to everyone to be in the know about events that affect the members of the group. The big question: is what do you do with the information that’s conveyed in gossip? Expressions of heated or otherwise excessive emotions take place in every office. They can cause poor morale and reduce productivity. Cleaning up emotional pollution takes work and determination. Here are some tips about stopping the gotcha games at work. When sour sentences come your way, ask “Why are you telling me this?” Then give the person ample time to answer. If you’re not satisfied, ask another question: “What do you want to happen as a result of all this?” Again, wait. Another question that might work is, “What do you want me to do with this information?” Workers who respond to gossip or untimely displays of emotion by communicating and questioning can help keep their business environments free of emotional fallout. August 1, 2013

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It's All Worth It Entrepreneurship Brings Its Own Sets Of Challenges And Rewards IT TAKES MOXIE to become a business owner, especially in an uncertain business climate. There are few professions in the business world riskier than that of becoming an entrepreneur. There’s no guarantee of profit, statistics point against success and the joys of being your own boss are overshadowed by the countless hours you have to devote to getting the business off the ground. Despite all these challenges, however, more than 500 women-owned businesses begin each day in the United States, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Between 2002 and 2012, the number of women-owned businesses grew by 28 percent. For many women, the challenges of building a business are supplemented by the challenges of raising a family—a responsibility that still falls primarily on mothers. Make no mistake: Being a successful female entrepreneur means trudging through rough terrain. For the women of Healthy Image Marketing, that terrain has been equally daunting and rewarding. “I wouldn’t trade the experience for

Christine Fisher, Kristy Armand and Barbara VanGossen of Healthy Image.

the world, but it certainly wasn’t easy getting here,” said Kristy Armand, who co-owns Healthy Image with Christine Fisher and Barbara VanGossen. “We have a deep respect for any

women who decides to launch their own business, because we know how much time, sacrifice and dedication is involved in making it successful,” said VanGossen.

Healthy Image was recently awarded a 2013 Blue Ribbon Small Business Award from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce — an honor bestowed on only 100 small businesses in the nation. The Blue Ribbon Small Business Award recognized the female owners of Healthy Image for excellent business practices in several areas, including strategy, employee development, community involvement and customer service. In recognizing the award, George Swift, president of the Chamber Southwest, said Healthy Image embodied “the perseverance, work ethic and drive it takes to succeed in today’s competitive business climate.” Healthy Image was established in 2002, and has grown from having just one client to having more than 100 local, regional and national clients of all sizes. “When we started Healthy Image, it was just a couple of women with laptops, working off their kitchen tables,” said Fisher. “It’s humbling and overwhelming to think about how far it’s come. We’re fortunate to have a business in Southwest Louisiana, where the business climate is positive and encouraging.”

Sentinel Transportation ... Now Hiring! Quality Products And Great Service With An Emphasis On Safety Since 1996, Sentinel Transportation (formerly Conoco Transportation) has been transporting petroleum products for its parent companies. With its fleet of up to 49 drivers, Sentinel takes pride in providing quality service and being one of the safest transport companies. Its services are second to none. Sentinel always takes the time to do it in the safest way possible. Owned by Phillips 66 and E.I. Dupont, Sentinel Transportation is a notfor-hire business. It exists solely to provide transportation service to its parent companies. The Westlake Sentinel terminal, which is managed by Sheila Hermann, is one of 39 Sentinel terminals across the country. The

company, whose home office is in Wilmington, Delaware, is expanding and growing every day. In fact, Sentinel is now hiring crude oil drivers, with TWIC card and Class CDL license required. The company is also hiring Class 8 mechanics for a private fleet. Sentinel offers employees a c o m p a n y matched 401 (K) plan matched dollar for dollar up to six percent of income and a company funded retirement at six percent; first-rate, low-cost medical, dental and vision plans; 10 paid holidays; paid vacation up to five weeks (two weeks the first year)’ and safety bonuses. Employee safety is Sentinel’s no. 1 priority.

Sentinel is looking for highly-motivated, self starters who are looking for a career, not a job. If interested, apply in person, or online at sentineltrans.com. For more information, call 800-677-0440, ext. 18. Sentinel Transportation is located at 3363 Bayou D’Inde Road, Westlake, LA

Sheila Hermann Terminal Manager

3363 Bayou D'Inde Road • Westlake • 882-6832 • 1-800-677-0440, Ext. 18 • www.setineltrans.com 50

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CSE Federal Credit Union

Special Touch

For People Not For Profit

A Positive Approach To Health

When it’s not all about profit, it can be all about people. For nearly 70 years, CSE Federal Credit Union has stayed true to its mission of helping members achieve their financial goals. CSE was established in 1943 and today serves more than 34,000 members. Since CSE’s inception, women have been part  of its operational history. Mary Freeman was appointed treasurer of CSE in 1948 and the credit union was operated from her home. Today CSE has a current staff of 87 employees of which 79 are women. CSE was here when our community’s grandparents got their first jobs, bought their first homes, and began living their American dream. CSE offers a wide variety of deposit and loan products ranging from IRAs to Loans against your own savings. We are owned and controlled by its members, a credit unions’ purpose is to promote thrift, provide at competitive rates, and other financial services to its members. As a not-for-profit financial services cooperative, CSE returns earnings to its members through higher savings account rates, better service, lower loan rates and many other free services.

What started out in a small room Rouge and Houston, Texas. within a nail salon has grown into a The staff is comprised of Joy full-service massage therapy studio. Clement Derise, Griffin “Spider” Special Touch offers massage Edwards, Kyla Ackley Guilbeau, Jodi therapy in a variety of Trigger Point, Mack Deville, Ariel Bradley, Patrick Geriatric Massage, Sports Massage, Freeman and Tracey Strong. Pregnancy and Infant We offer 10% Massage, Reflexology senior citizen and stuand more. We also dent discounts (with offe current ID presented at Ear Candling (the time of service). ancient form of wax Regular rates are $35 removal to clean the per half hour, $60 per ear), cellulite treathour & $85 per an ments as well as mashour & a half. Call for sage products and topprices on other various ical analgesics such as treatments. Joy Clement APR, Biofreeze, Look us up on Derise Topricin and Kool-nFacebook for weekly fit products. And don’t and monthly specials forget our variety of gift items or download our app today! Visit us From a room in that nail salon to on the web for more information. Call a brief time in a beauty shop to taking Trudy, Kayla, Allie or Lauren today on associates and moving into Gigi’s to schedule an appointment. on Nelson Road for 10 years we have We are also proud members of grown by leaps and bounds. We are the LIMU Company. Please check now in the Athlete’s Corner Plaza on us out at West Sale Road, and I am proud of Joyclementderise.iamlimu.com what my business has become. We it's simply a way to BE MORE! are one of the biggest and best known Look better, feel better, LIVE BETmassage businesses with clients dri- TER! Check it out! ving in from as far away as Baton E0422

Joyce Davis Chief Financial Officer

Bonnie McDonald Chief Operations Officer

Colleen Desselle Director of Marketing

Kasey Cormier Human Resources Manager

Main Office 4321 Nelson Road • 337-477-2000 Sulphur Branch 2154 Swisco Rd. • www.csefcu.org

1737 W. Sale Road, Ste. 103 • Lake Charles 480-1100

A Door Works, Inc. Service, Service, Service! Owned by Bo and Joy Abshire, A Door-Works began in 1994, as an extra job and hobby for Bo. As the business evolved, with more customers, the necessity of having a storefront became a reality in 200. Today we have 11 employees and five trucks o the road. We sell, install and service rolling steel doors, sectional doors and entrance doors, with hardware and accessories, as well as operators and motors for rolling steel and sectionals, storm shutters and gate-operating systems. We are a small company, and big on service. We are sincere with our care for our customers. We want to provide the right product for the job and fit the customer with what they want and insure they have the best for their job. Service, Service, Service! Also, we are authorized representatives for all of the products we sell. This is important, as you want

a door company that has “muscle” with the manufacturers, not one who buys from another dealer. Our future plans include introducing new products and educating employees, which we will continue to do in order to ensure our delivery of service. Our two most important assets are our customers and our employees. Our philosophy is, if you take care of them, they will take care of you. We are blessed to have so many of our customers call and thank us for the prompt service they receive, the professional service of our employees and the quality of our products. The economy has been tough for everyone to work with. In the end, the strong will survive. If a business is truly sincere, they will examine who they are and use these times to sharpen their skills and service. The customer will ultimately win by the delivery of fine-tuned service. W move forward with hope for all of our new futures!

715 Patch Street • Sulphur • 527-5000 625-2082 • adoorworks@bellsouth.net August 1, 2013

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Accessorize! Accessories For Business Attire DRESSING FOR SUCCESS Includes your outfit, personal grooming and accessories. Clients and investors pay attention to details, and so should you. Even the briefcase you select says something about who you are. Pulling together an overall corporate image is especially important for workat-home moms, and businesswomen who work from home. To get big clients and contracts, your business needs to appear successful; already large enough to handle the customer’s needs. Looking “frumpy‚” conveys a message that you may not take business meetings seriously. Here are some tips for adding accessories to your business wardrobe:

JEWELRY Avoid wearing large or costume jewelry. Earrings should be conservative and small. Necklaces should not dangle between cleavage, and bracelets should not make noise. Do not wear ankle bracelets, but do wear a conservative watch.

PURSES Purse colors should coordinate with your shoe color. A good purse should be

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stop them from spreading down your leg.

Pulling together an overall corporate image is important. To get big clients and contracts, your business needs to appear successful; already large enough to handle the customer’s needs. small, but easy to open in case you need to find an item inside.

HOSIERY Panty hose should be a neutral tone and compliment your suit or dress. Avoid wearing hosiery with patterns and lines. Carry a bottle of clear nail polish in your purse to dab on snags and runs to

PORTFOLIOS Portfolios and padfolios are preferred over briefcases, and should be padded in a neutral color. If you take a briefcase, it should be as small as is practical for your needs, and made of leather in a neutral color. If you don’t need a briefcase, don’t bring one just for show. Never use a shopping bag, book bag or backpack in place of a briefcase.

YOUR CAR Your car is an accessory, and likely to be involved in your business functions. Always keep the inside of your car clean and free of children’s toys and clutter. How you keep your car is a reflection about the state of your life. If your car is a clutter closet on wheels, it sends the message you are too busy to tend to things, or that you just don’t care about your image. Treat your car as another potential message to clients about how you run your business. After a meeting with my first po-

tential investor, he asked if he could walk me to my car. When I opened my car door he took a quick casual glance inside and then extended a firm handshake to thank me for presenting my business idea. The next day, he offered to invest the full $5,000 I needed to get started on a new business venture. The investor explained that the “clean car” test was something he used to assess how organized and efficient a person was. If someone’s car was a disorganized mess, the investor assumed that the chaos would extend into their professional life as well. Not everyone is this calculating in their decisions, but everyone looks at outward appearances and makes quick judgments about what the little things say about a person. Accessories like makeup, jewelry, and even your car should not be overlooked. They are tools that you can use to convey a positive and winning message about yourself and your ability to succeed.

Flooring & Design Center

Barrett Consulting, APC

Superior Products, Impeccable Service

A Personal Touch In Accounting

Flooring manufacturers are con- installation and the design and coortinually introducing new and exciting dination of the interiors of our cusproducts. Each day we see new tomers’ homes. We’re knowledgeable designs in granite. If you don’t see about how our products perform, how something today at Flooring and they need to be maintained and Design Center that you can’t live whether a specific product will work without, just wait in our customer’s till next week, application. when there’s Custom designbound to be one ing is important to item you just have our clients. We’ll to have! design a unique Probably the kitchen backsplash, hottest product on tub enclosure and the market right custom shower. If now is Luxury you’ve ever tried to Vinyl Plank. get this type of help Another hot item is elsewhere, you know porcelain tile that it’s invaluable. Gisela Ryland looks like wood. We’re very The look was thankful for our cusinspired by beach houses. tomers: those customers who have Other products offered by referred to us time and time again and Flooring & Design Center include have purchased their flooring from us wood, laminate, tile, carpet, marble, over and over again. Loyal customers travertine, paints, stains and ceramics. are what we’re most proud of! In the flooring industry, we’re Visit owner Gisela Ryland and unique for having a business that’s the staff at Flooring & Design Center, run by women only. Inc., 1401 Cypress Street, Sulphur, During our 20 years of business, LA 70663, 528-1077 Monday we’ve been very conscientious about through Friday 8 am-5 pm. our product selection, placement,

In the five years since Tina cient and effective manner. Our client’s Demarest Barrett, CPA, and Donna success translates to our success.” Arabie, CPA opened Barrett Consulting Barrett Consulting offers personal APC, they have been a vital accounting service that sets them apart from their service in SWLA. Their practice competitors, and they take pride in their includes all phases of accounting and concern for clients. review services, tax plan“I want every client to ning and compliance. and feel special, because they consulting and litigation. are,” says Barrett. “Our They are also currently clients trust that we have busy processing BP their best interest at heart, claims for many clients. and that lightens their load Their talented staff during otherwise difficult also incudes Wayne times.” Johnson, CPA and Barrett believes that degreed accountants her company’s growth is Michelle Guillotte and measured by the growth of Vick Awan. Thie toptheir clients and by the Tina Demarest notch bookkeepers are firm’s ability to assist them Barrett Lynda Bickford and in their success. Marie LeDoux, and Rebekah LeJeune What makes a businessperson sucis their deicated administrative assis- cessful? Barrett believes it’s how they tant. respond to challenges. “I started my own business be“In life, we all get challenged,” she cause I felt passionate about my ability says. “In business, we face many chalto serve clients and help them grow lenges. It’s a person’s ability to be selftheir businesses, and I desired profes- driven and adaptive, and their ability to sional relationships that went beyond recognize opportunities that arise from financial success,” says Barrett. “Our challenges, that contributes to success.” business focuses on partnering with our Barrett Consulting’s motto is clients in growing their businesses and “Together, we succeed,” and it’s a phisolving their problems in the most effi- losophy they take seriously.

1401 Cypress Street • Sulphur 528-1077

375 Sam Houston Jones Parkway • Moss Bluff 855-0032 • www.barrettconsulting.biz

Massage Essentials Take Time For Yourself! Cherlyn Dessesseau opened Massage Essentials in April of 2010, providing deep tissue, swedish and hot stone massage. Special attention is given to athletes to help prevent injury. The business has experienced steady growth, earning the trust and loyalty of its clientele. Dessesseau prides herself on her ability to listen to her clients, understanding their needs and being versatile. Customer satisfaction is number

one with Massage Essentials, and they also offer the best value around. Massage Essentials accepts clients by appointment only. Hours are 8 am-5 pm, with later appointments available by request. For appointments, call 499-4682.

Appointments call 499-4682 MENTION THIS AD FOR 10% OFF YOUR FIRST VISIT!

Teci's Ladies Apparel The First Name In Fashion TeCi Culpepper opened her boutique, “TeCi's Ladies Apparel” with her daughter Summer, Sept of 2006, with a dream of serving the Lake Area ladies with their fashion needs. We are pleased to announce that we have been working our dream for 7 years now. We are still, after 7 years, meeting new customers every day and we are so thankful and appreciate all of our faithful customers who have shopping with us for all these years. Summer and I are always looking for the most up-to-date fashions for TeCi Culpepper, owner our ladies. We go to Dallas Texas to Market 5 times a year and we go the New York and Las Vegas Shows also. We want to have our customers to have the latest trends and styles available but are very conscience of age appropriate apparel and we always try to get apparel that will fit our more mature ladies. We have started carrying Brighton, which is an amazing line of jewelry and handbags. We also still carry some of our favorite lines such as, Eileen fisher, Nic & Zoe, Lynn Ritchie, Cartise, Not Your Daughte Jeans and many more. We also carry a line called “Ursula of Switzerland” for the Mother of the Bride/Groom so we can take some of the stress out of trying to find the perfect dress for their children’s wedding. We are located across from the Mall on Ernest St. We are open 10:00 to 5:30 Mon- Fri, Sat 10-4. Check out our new website at www.tecisladiesapparel.com and like us on Facebook to keep up to date on all our events!

3125 Ernest Street • Lake Charles • (337) 436-5944 www.tecisapparel.com August 1, 2013

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Give Me A Hand A Proper Handshake Communicates Equality

A HANDSHAKE IS MORE than just a greeting. It’s also a message about your personality and confidence level. In business, a handshake is an important tool for making the right first impression. While the art of handshaking does vary within cultures, in the United States the “rules” are pretty universal. Here they are, in a brief summary:

BEGIN WITH AN ORAL INTRODUCTION OF YOURSELF Before you extend your hand, introduce yourself. Extending your hand should be part of an introduction, not a replacement for using your voice. Extending your hand without a voice greeting may make you appear nervous or overly aggressive.

PUMP YOUR HAND ONLY 2-3 TIMES A business handshake should be brief and to the point. Consider a handshake a short “sound bite” greeting, not a lengthy engagement. Holding on for more than three or four seconds can make other people feel uncomfortable.

SHAKE FROM YOUR ELBOW If you shake from the shoulder, using your upper arm instead of just your forearm, you risk jolting your handshake partner. The idea is to connect, not to be overbearing.

DON'T USE A FORCEFUL GRIP A handshake should be a friendly or respectful gesture, not a show of physical strength. An uncomfortable handshake is never a pleasant experience for anyone. Imagine you are opening a door handle and use about the same level of grip in your handshake.

DON'T OFFER A "FISH HAND" A limp hand is never a good idea when it comes to a business handshake. Do return the grip, but don’t get into a 54

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power struggle, even if the other person squeezes too hard.

FORGET "LADY FINGERS" This isn’t a Southern cotillion; this is business. Offering only your fingers to shake may be appropriate in some social settings, but in business settings, you’re an equal, not a “lady.” Extend your entire hand, and be sure to grasp using your entire hand as well.

If you shake hands with someone who has sweaty hands, don't immediately wipe your hands on your clothing. Wash your hands later and save them some embarrasment. ONE HAND IS BETTER THAN TWO Avoid the urge to handshake with two hands. It’s always better in business introductions to use only one hand — your right hand — for the shake. The use of two hands with strangers is seen as intrusive and too personal. In fact, a twohanded shake is called the “politician’s shake” because it appears artificially friendly when it’s used on people you barely know.

SHAKING A SWEATY HAND If you shake hands with someone who has sweaty palms, don’t immediately wipe your hands on your clothing, handkerchief or a tissue. This will further embarrass the other person, who is probably already aware they have sweaty hands. You can discretely wipe them on something after you’re out of sight, and wash them later.

Budget Blinds Shop Where Your Windows Are, We Come To You! Budget Blinds of Lake Charles is proud to be your "go to" source for all your window coverings. Phyllis White, Owner/Consultant brings to your Shop where your windows are! We come to you. home a wide selection of prodCall 436-2323 today for your complimentary ucts, brands, and style options at consultation! prices that reflect our tremendous buying power. She will show you how window coverings can compliment your existing furnishings, or how you can change the mood and lighting of a room. We measure and install for that perfect fit and view! Don't let the name fool you, in addition to every type of blind you can imagine, we offer beautiful plantation shutters, custom draperies and hardware, roman and solar shades, along with energy efficient solutions to help control temperature, glare, and fading in your home. The majority of these products can be motorized. Our in home consultation and installation is free. Call us to see our newest products! Tandem shades give you light and view by day with privacy and blackout by night. Glass Essence Blinds that look like embossed or stained glass. And composite shutters that now come in COLOR! Budget Blinds' products come with the standard factory limited warranty but we take it a step farther with our "No Questions Asked" replacement warranty on the majority of our products. This means you get a new replacement treatment, once per window, regardless of the reason (even if Fido eats it!). Depending on the company this is a five-year or lifetime warranty. Knowing how to translate your style into the window coverings in your home is our specialty. There's an art to what we do. And that's what makes us different.

1811 Ryan Street • Lake Charles • 436-2323 www.budget blinds.com

Donna's Lingerie & Swimwear An Uplifting Experience Owner Donna Mier has been an independent business woman for 31 years. Since 1982, Donna has been explaining how 85% of women wear the wrong size bra. The staff at Donna’s has many years of experience and are the most knowledgeable fitters in the area. They specialize in hard to fit sizes A-L cups. Donna and her staff can solve most any bra fitting problems including straps that fall, backbands that ride up, and chaffing or rash under the breast. All of these are indications of an improper fit. Donna’s not only fits women in supportive everyday bras but also fits nursing bras, mastectomy bras and bras for women who have had breast augmentation, breast reduction or lumpectomy. Donna is a Board-Certified Fitter. Having recently received her accreditation approval, Donna Mier, a Donna’s files with Medicare and insurance. She is Board-Certified also pleased to offer the latest trends in post-mastecBra Fitting Specialist, tomy products as well as wigs, turbans, and hats for is ready to help you chemotherapy patients. have an uplifting experience. Donna’s Lingerie and Swimwear carries one of the largest selection and variety of swimwear ranging from Jr., Missy & Women Sizes. Donna retains a large customer base by listening to her customers and working diligently to meet their needs. Donna’s also carries elegant, beautiful lingerie for that special bride. Donna’s is a true specialty store — they are always willing to do speical orders to meet your needs. Remember — finding the proper fitting undergarment makes the outer garment look great. Certified Mastectomy Fitter

3518 Ryan St. • Lake Charles • (337) 477-1804

A Little Bit Gaudy Fashion With Attitude If you are looking for the trendiest, fashionable clothes and accessories look no further than A Little Bit Gaudy! Located at 2245 Maplewood Drive in Sulphur, A Little Bit Gaudy is ready to fulfill all of your fashion needs. Owner Shelly Adams started 11 years ago selling individual pieces to now owning her very own line, “Gaudy Girl”. “About 11 years ago, give or take a day or two, I was managing my husbands salon ‘Maximillians’ and decided to put a purse or two and a couple of bracelets and necklaces out on a table, and began to sell one or two here and there,” recalls Adams. “I kept building my inventory and just kept selling. It finally came to the point that my husband said either I start cutting hair outside or get my own place…so I did!” Adams is the proud owner of “Gaudy Girl” and her very own hair care line. Shelly Adams “My hopes and dreams are to be financially independent and be able to bless people and help people like others who are still helping me! So please come by A Little Bit Gaudy and visit me and my attentive staff; we will be so glad and appreciative to meet you!” Adams owns a second store located at 2496 MLK in Orange, Texas. Call 337533-8003 or 409- 988-0030 for more information today!

2245 Maplewood Drive • Sulphur • 533-8003 2496 MLK • Orange, TX • 409-988-0030 www.alittlebitgaudy.com

Angel Babies Childcare & Development Center Exceptional Childcare Angel Babies Childcare & Development Center is a fourstar childcare facility and is ready to serve your family’s day care needs. It is owned and operated by three sisters who are often referred to as the “Dixie Chicks,” a name coined The Dixie Chicks by their mother. (as named by their mother) Vernessa Guillory, direcL-R: Vernessa Guillory - Owner, Director of Childcare Development; Tracy Williams - Owner, tor of Childcare Development, Director of Creative Education; Tiffany Miller Tracy Williams, director of Owner, Director of Administratiive Affairs Creative Education; and Their children services are ideal for Tiffany Miller, director of Administration single parents, working parents or foster have a mission for their creative Childcare parents. This way you can be at work on facility; “playing with a purpose, and time, and not have to worry about the striving to meet the child’s needs socially, safety and well being of your little angels. emotionally, intellectually, and physical“We appreciate clients entrusting ly.” their children to us in our daycare. We Angel Babies Childcare & also appreciate the opportunity to support Development Center has been in business parents in nurturing and caring for their since 2007, and since then has grown and child,” the center’s spokesman said. moved into a bigger space with a larger They also have future places for facility and large playground for the chilgrowth and expansion with a Pre-K prodren. Together they provide before and gram for 4-year-olds. after school care at one set price. They pride themselves on being available for the needs of any parent. They also have transportation to and from school for busy parents.

320 East Miller Avenue • Iowa • 582-1975 August 1, 2013

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Help Them Get It Some Tips For Helping Your Kids Feel Better About Your Need To Work BE POSITIVE, NOT WHINY Instead of constantly reminding your child you are not spending time with them by saying you wish you could go to the park but you have to work, redirect the conversation to something more positive. Talk about past happy experiences; remind your children how much fun you will have together the next time you do go to the park. This can serve to reinforce to the child that you have spent time with them, and you will do so again in the near future.

GIVE KIDS BOUNDARIES Let kids know when they can and cannot interrupt you. Use a kitchen timer or put a sign on your office door. But

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when your office door is “open,” don’t shoo the children away. If you set boundaries for your kids, you must respect them, too.

your kids’ day, and ask them questions to show that you care about their interests, feelings and thoughts.

own business, try to find ways they can help you. Even if you just give them “busy” work they can still be made to feel important.

INCLUDE YOUR KIDS LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD If you want your children to let you focus on work when you need to, you need to return the favor and focus on them whenever you are with them. Meals provide the perfect opportunity for this. Whenever possible, eat meals with your family. Meal time should be off limits for talking about your work, unless you are specifically asked a question. Even then, keep it light. Ask about

You may think your 2-year-old is too young to understand what you are doing, but they are old enough to know when your attention is on work or being focused on someone else, and not on them. Anytime you do not include your child in something, they are, by default, being excluded. Try to find ways to connect with your children by talking about your work and then asking what they think. If you own your

REALIZE THAT IT'S OKAY TO LIKE WORK Many women like to work and get tremendous satisfaction from working. Do not let well-meaning or meddling family members or friends make you feel guilty because you enjoy your work. The real key to helping your children is in letting them know you like work and that what you do is important. If you are constantly complaining about your work day to your kids, you are giving them plenty of new reasons to resent that you have to work.

Getting And Staying Motivated Getting and staying motivated is vital, whether you’re striving to reach a business goal, starting a new venture, or managing the day-to-day operations of your business. Lack of motivation can chip away at your confidence, and hurt your potential for success. Follow these tips to get motivated, climb out of the slump, and build the momentum you need to reach your target. Entrench yourself in a goal. While lack of motivation may not be related to a specific goal, having a goal can often help you get motivated. Smart goal setting is one way to outline your objectives, clarify the importance of the goal, and create an action plan for achieving it. If you are able to break down long-term goals into weekly or even daily action steps, the progress you make every day can help you build momentum and get motivated to keep the process moving. Relive past successes. Do you remember what it felt like to reach a goal, hit a significant milestone or make an important decision? Spend some time thinking about the process you went through, the work you put in and the taste of victory. Reliving some of your best moments can get you over the hurdle and into action. Find inspiration in someone else. There will always be others who have walked the path before you, faced the same challenges and emerged victorious. Spend time appreciating the drive and determination of others, and explore how they overcame the challenges they faced on their journeys. This can be motivating, while also giving you some creative ideas for getting through the challenges you’re facing. Try a new approach. Progress often generates routines; routines can bring boredom; and boredom can cause a loss of motivation. If your routines are causing you to lose your fire, it may be time to shake things up. Try altering the way you do things, when you do them, how you do them and even how you think about them. Start to question your standard processes, and introduce a new way of thinking to get past complacency and renew your motivation.

Chamber Southwest SWLA Women's Business Network: They Can Do It! The Southwest Louisiana Women’s Business Network (WBN), a program of the Chamber SWLA, premiered in April 2010 with more than 120 regional business women in attendance, and it hasn’t slowed down since. The SWLA Women’s Business Network recognizes the efforts and accomplishments of women in business throughout Southwest Louisiana and offers networking and professional development opportunities through workshops and lectures on topics such as marketing and mentoring. On Nov. 19, 2013, the SWLA Women’s Business Network will host its 4th Annual Women’s Business Leaders Awards Luncheon at L’Auberge Casino Resort from 11:30am to 1pm. This luncheon honors successful business women from Southwest Louisiana based on nominations from fellow business leaders. Call today for ticket information. There is no limit to the growth and

potential of the Women’s Business Network. In the future, the WBN may take on many projects such as standing as the voice for women in our community, establishing a regional business- to-business showcase, or hosting major national speakers on issues facing Southwest Louisiana. At this point, they are limited only by their imagination. While there are other regional organizations devoted to the needs, challenges, and joys of being a woman in today’s society, WBN is the only organization focused primarily on a woman’s role in the workforce and establishing business connections. The WBN continues to get extremely positive feedback and interest. Information captured at events indicates that participants are heavily invested in the future of this organization and are active in providing response on how they want the WBN to progress.

PO Box 3110 • Lake Charles, LA 70602 • 433-3632 awhite@allianceswla.org

Southwest Call Center

The Perfect Gift

For All Your Answering Service Needs

The “Perfect Gift” For Any Occasion

Southwest Call Center has been locally owned and operated since 1993 by Perry Vincent. In 2005, his sister, Celia Vincent Case, came on board as manager, accepting this challenging responsibility during the hectic times of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. She successfully manages a staff of 20 employees with a business mission to provide inbound call services such as scheduling and confirming appointments, telephone answering service, and other customer support functions to businesses throughout the continental USA, 7 days, 24 hours, 365 days a year. Clients include property management entertainment, service and transportation companies and medical offices. Celia Vincent Case "We provide highly-trained professional General Manager representatives to answer and handle your calls To grow your according to your needs,” said Case. “We are business, call committed to answering every call professionally, takCelia today! ing an accurate message and delivering it according to your specifications.” The company averages close to 3,000 calls per day. “We aim to maintain professional, empathetic and a polite attitude during all conversations,” she said. Whatever your requirements are, Southwest Call Center can design a complete call handling script that achieves your customer service goal. Give Southwest Call Center a call today to find out how they can help you grow your business!

CALL 310-2435

Need to find a gift for a loved one, friend or business acquaintance? One visit to The Perfect Gift is all it takes. The Perfect Gift opened in February 2000 at 2712 Hodges St. Carol Henry opened the store with customer service in mind. “I bought Carol Henry, the business because I love being around peoowner ple and helping them,” she said. She enjoys finding the perfect gift for all occasions and offers personal friendly service with low prices. The Perfect Gift now carries fashionable apparel at moderate prices, along with the jewelry, purses and scarves you need to give you that complete look. Need a gift? We carry pewter, candles, fleur de lis items, cookbooks, cheese ball dips and mixes and a whole lot more! We offer free giftwrapping to all of our customers. Carol’s customers experience a fun, friendly and comfortable atmosphere every time they enter her store. “I want my customers to feel important,” Carol says. “I believe in treating the customer the way I would want to be treated.” As a member of the Women’s Commission of Southwest Louisiana and as a member of the local Better Business Bureau and Chamber of Commerce, Carol understands the importance of female business owners. “I know the significant role that women fulfill in today’s business world,” she said. “I believe in giving back to the community.”

2712 Hodges Street • Lake Charles (337) 439-7693 August 1, 2013

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THERE’S ALWAYS SOMETHING to celebrate in Louisiana, and nowhere do they celebrate it better than here in the southwest region of the state. From world-famous cuisine to unique arts and crafts, to the best Cajun, Zydeco and swamp pop music you’ll hear anywhere, there’s something for everyone as the area festival season goes into full swing. Fall is the festival season in SWLA; it’s when you’ll find the state’s biggest and most popular events. Get ready for dancing, eating and just passin’ a good time. Here’s a quick run-down of this fall’s biggest and best events.

AUGUST DELCAMBRE SHRIMP FESTIVAL Aug. 14-18, Shrimp Festival Grounds, Delcambre, La., 337-685-2653, shrimpfestival.net Delcambre is home to one of the state’s most productive shrimping fleets, and each year the town celebrates this big industry with one of the state’s biggest festivals. Activities will include a shrimp cook-off; food booths with a wide variety of shrimp dishes, as well as hamburgers and hot dogs; carnival rides; a blessing of the fleet; a fishermen’s 58

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Mass; pageants and a fais-do-do. Live entertainment will feature DJ Homer Stelly, Beau Young, Gene Watson, Wayne Toups, Geno Delafose, Mike Dean, Joe Diffie, and LA Express with Tommy McLain and Johnny Allan. Admission is free Wed., Thurs. and Sun.; gate fee is $5 on Friday and $10 on Saturday.

LE CAJUN FRENCH MUSIC AWARDS FESTIVAL Aug. 15-17, Cade Community Center, St. Martinville, 337-233-9690, cajunfrenchmusic.org

The Cajun French Music Association sponsors this three-day event celebrating the rich history and importance of Cajun music in Southwest Louisiana. The festival kicks off on Aug. 15 with a French speaking contest and chapter awards show in Breaux Bridge, and continues Aug. 16 with a performance by Jackie Callier, Ivy Dugas and the Cajun Cousins at the Rayne Civic Center. The dance festival on Saturday, Aug. 17, will include craft booths and Creole food. There’ll also, of course, be a full line-up of some of the best Cajun mu-

sicians around, including Lee Benoit and the Bayou Stompers, Ellis Vanicor and the Lacassine Playboys, The Lafayette Rhythm Devils, Le Jeune Generation de Cajun, Robert Jardell and Pure Cajun, Don Fontenot and Les Amis de la Louisiane, Kevin Naquin and the Ossun Playboys, Chris Miller and Bayou Roots, and Jr. Hebert and the Maurice Playboys. Admission is $5 for the performance on Friday, and $10 for the festival on Saturday.

ARTS AND CRABS FEST Aug. 17, 4-8 pm, Lake Charles Civic Center, 337-439-2787 A comprehensive experience of SWLA food, music and art, the Arts and Crabs Festival celebrates the ties between Louisiana seafood and Louisiana culture. With a $25 wristband, visitors can enjoy a crab and beer tasting that features dishes from 10 restaurants, including crab cakes, crab au gratin, crab ceviche and crab gazpacho. The dishes will be paired with Louisiana craft beers. There will also be an art market and live music.

GUEYDAN DUCK FESTIVAL Aug. 22-25, Duck Festival Park, Gueydan, duckfestival.org, email: info@DuckFestival.org Gueydan is called the Duck Capital

of America, and the town celebrates that rich tradition and heritage with a long weekend of activities, including carnival rides, parades, a family night with free admission, skeet shooting, duck decoy carving demonstrations, duck and goose calling contests, dog trials, pageants (including a senior pageant) and an outdoor cook-off. Admission is free for students all week, and free to all on Thursday and Sunday.

Once again the festival will include Future Zone, a career information center where children can learn about a variety of careers, from culinary arts to pipe fitting. Activities will also include live music, a Children’s Factory with games and activities, a petting zoo, athletic games, face painting and more. Admission is $3 for adults and $2 for children over 3.

FAMILY FESTIVAL

SHRIMP AND PETROLEUM FESTIVAL

Aug. 24, Lake Charles Civic Center, 9 am-4 pm, 337-436-9533, fyca.org The Family and Youth Counseling Agency sponsors this annual festival to promote family life and values, and to say thank you to the community for its year-round support.

Aug. 29-Sept. 2, downtown Morgan City, La., 985-385-0703, shrimp-petrofest.org The state’s oldest chartered harvest festival proves that oil and water really do mix. This event celebrates the two major industries in South Louisiana with

five days of activities and entertainment for the whole family. Activities will include a carnival, a cultural heritage expo, a blessing of the fleet ceremony, a Mass, a fireworks show, a dessert contest, arts and crafts shows and sales, a fishing tournament, a car show, a poker run, a 5 K run/walk and children’s activities. Music lineup includes Category 6, Vintage, Supercharged, Mojeaux, the Brandon Foret Band, Crossroads, Bandit, South 70 and the JJ Muggler Band. Admission is free.

SWLA ZYDECO MUSIC FESTIVAL Aug. 31, Zydeco Park, Plaisance Community of Opelousas, La., zydeco.org This festival is the main event in a continued

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weeks-long celebration of Zydeco music in Southwest Louisiana that begins August 6. At the festival, you’ll find plenty of Creole food, arts and crafts booths, cultural and music workshops and, of course, some of the area’s best Zydeco artists. Admission to the festival is $15. The celebration will include a fun run and golf tournament, a King and Queen’s Ball, a jam session, a Kick-Off Dance, and a Zydeco breakfast.

SEPTEMBER BOO ZOO’S LABOR DAY FESTIVAL Sept. 2, 10 am-until, Lake Charles Civic Center, 337-438-3482 This festival honors the late Zydeco musician Boo Zoo Chavis. The event will feature great Cajun food, and live entertainment featuring the Dog Hill Stompers, whose members include some of Chavis’ relatives; Geno Delafose and French Rockin’ Boogie; and Jamie Bergeron and The Kickin’ Cajuns. Music will begin at 11 am. Admission is $15, with children 10 and under admitted free. No ice chests allowed.

MAMOU CAJUN MUSIC FESTIVAL

ST. THERESA BON-TON FESTIVAL

Sept. 6-7, Mamou, mamoucajunmusicfestival.com Cajun food, live music, games and contests, and workshops on Cajun dance and fiddle making will be featured. Music lineup includes Jamie Berzas and Cajun Tradition, C.O.D. (Cajun On Demand), Lafayette Rhythm Devils, D. L. Menard with Jambalaya Cajun Band, and Bruce Daigrepont.

Sept. 20-22, St. Theresa Catholic Church, Carlyss, 337-496-7811 or 337-583-4800, st-theresa-parish.org Sponsored by St. Theresa Catholic Church, this local favorite features family entertainment in a wholesome atmosphere. You’ll find not only food, particularly barbecue, but also carnival rides, a tractor pull, a petting zoo, a talent show, a 5K run and kids’ run, an outdoor Mass, game booths, live music, a country store, auctions and a sweet shop. Hours are Friday 5-10:30 pm, Sat. 10 am-10:30 pm, and Sun. 10 am-3 pm. Admission is free.

PEPPER FESTIVAL Sept. 6-7, St. Martinville, pepperfestival.org The annual fundraiser for the St. Martinville Kiwanis Club, this festival is held along the banks of the Bayou Teche in St. Martinville. It will offer live music, kids’ games and rides, arts and crafts displays and sales, a fun run, plenty of food, and a pepper eating contest. Music lineup includes Chubby Carrier, GTO, Mark Wills, Corey Ledet, Geno Delafose, and TK Hulin with TG Shin.

Sept. 13-14, 352 Carter Ferry Rd., Zwolle, La., 318-315-0104, stjudefallfest@yahoo.com A family-oriented event that will include a Walk of Hope, a parade, games, bingo, live music, lots of food, arts and crafts, a mud bog event and an auction.

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Sept. 20-21, Natchitoches, La., explorenatchitoches.com Carnival rides, vendors, live music, DJs, a meat pie eating contest, fun run and lots of great food featuring, of course, the world-famous Natchitoches meat pie.

ST. JUDE FALL FESTIVAL

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NATCHITOCHES MEAT PIE FESTIVAL

MARTHAVILLE GOOD OLE DAYS FESTIVAL Sept. 20-21, Marthaville, La. (25 miles west of Natchitoches), explorenatchitoches.com The town of Marthaville was settled in 1851, and incorporated in 1884 as a timber town. The town celebrates that long and rich history and heritage with a weekend of family fun including a parade, gospel singing, family reunions, a craft and toy trade area, food, kids’ activities, and plenty of live music, including a Nashville country music show.

SABINE PARISH FAIR Sept. 24-28. Sabine Parish Fairgrounds, Many, La., 318-508-1128 Carnival rides, games, rodeos, arts and crafts, livestock shows, food and live music will be featured.

LA. SUGAR CANE FESTIVAL Sept. 25-29, New Iberia, hisugar.org This annual festival honors the sugar cane producers and processors of the area and the contribution of the sugar cane industry to the 23 sugar cane-producing parishes in the state. Activities will include carnival rides, live music, arts and crafts, food, a blessing of the crops, a kids’ day, a sugar cane exhibit, a garden and flower show, a car show, a pageant and more.

ALLIGATOR FESTIVAL Sept. 27-30, West Bank Bridge Park, Luling, La. (St. Charles Parish), 985-785-9035, stcharlesrotary.com/alfestival Live music, carnival rides, alligator dishes and other Cajun cuisine, a golf tournament, a fun run, children’s activities and crafts will be featured. Hours are 6-9 pm on Thursday (rides only, limited food options), 6-11 pm on Friday, 11 am-11 pm on Saturday, and 11 am-9 pm on Sunday. Admission is $1.

JIM BOWIE FESTIVAL Sept. 27-28, Vidalia Riverfront, Vidalia, La., 318-336-8223, concordiachamberofcommerce.com/jimbowiefestival This event commemorates the 1827 duel that gave birth to the legend of Jim Bowie. In addition to a re-enactment of the infamous Sandbar Duel, there will be a barbecue contest, a pageant, kids’ rides, live bands, vendors and a street dance.

CALCA-CHEW FESTIVAL Sept. 29, St. Margaret’s Catholic Church, Lake Charles 337-439-4585, stmargaretcatholicchurch.com This annual smorgasbord of Creole and Cajun cuisine features some of the best dishes from some of the area’s best Cajun cooks. St. Margaret parishioners will prepare such delights as shrimp etoufee, boudin, fried fish, cracklins, gumbo and barbecue. Visitors can enjoy arts and crafts booths, live music, dancing, cake and pie judging, a raffle, live and silent auctions and door prizes. Children can enjoy a petting zoo, games and train rides. The festival will begin with a 7 am Mass and continue through 3 pm. Admission is free.

vest Mass, a pageant (held Oct. 9), a parade, and the running of the ancient jousting game known as Le Tournoi and more.

ZWOLLE TAMALE FIESTA Oct. 10-12, Zwolle Festival Grounds, Zwolle, La., (318) 256-3523, zwolletamalefiesta.com Though Zwolle, just south of Shreveport, is named after a Dutch town, it has a rich Spanish and Mexican heritage, having been part of Texas under Mexican rule during the early 19th Century. This annual festival celebrates that heritage with a weekend of fun, music and food, including live music, street dance, arts and crafts, carnival rides,

concessions, a pageant, a Spanish costume contest, an arm wrestling contest, eating contests, a tamale making contest, a fun run and group dance performances. Admission is $3 on Friday, and $5 on Saturday. Ride bracelets will be available for $10.

LA. CATTLE FESTIVAL AND FAIR Oct. 10-13, Abbeville, La., louisianacattlefestival.org Children’s activities, cooking contests, livestock competitions and exhibits, pageants (including a baby pageant), a BB gun tournament, music, rides, vendors and food will be featured. The music lineup includes Timbo the One Man Band, Geno Delafose,

Jaryd Lane, Ryan Foret and Foret Tradition, The Todd O’Neill Band, Gregg Martinez, the Fa Tras Cajun Band, Johnnie Allan with Louisiana Express featuring Chris Flowers, The Beau Young Band, That Quale Band, Cypress City Band, CJ Solar Band, Louisiana Kids, and the Black Mountain Boys.

BRIDGE CITY, LA., GUMBO FESTIVAL Oct. 11-13, Gumbo Festival Park, Angel Square, Bridge City, La. (near Westwego), 504-436-4881, bridgecitygumbofestival.org The food offerings will feature, of course, seafood and chicken-and-sausage continued

OCTOBER WEST LOUISIANA FORESTRY FESTIVAL Oct. 2-6, Vernon Parish Fairgrounds, Leesville, 337-238-0647, 337-238-0324, vppjla.com/VernonParishFairgrounds This festival features 4-H horse and livestock shows, pageants, woodsmen’s skills contests, a senior day, a cheerleading competition, a parade and carnival rides.

ROBERT’S COVE GERMANFEST Oct. 5-6, St. Leo’s Catholic Church Grounds, Rayne, La., robertscovegermanfest.com Providing clean, wholesome fun for the entire family, this annual festival honors the German heritage of Robert’s Cove. German music, a heritage museum, a home brew competition, gifts, a “kiddie land” with children’s activities, cultural demonstrations, folklore presentations and more will be featured. And of course, there’ll be plenty of German food on hand: sauerkraut with potato and wurst, German potato salad, sausage on a bun, brisket, dill pickles and more. Wash it all down with — what else? — a variety of beers.

RED RIVER REVEL ARTS FESTIVAL Oct. 5-12, Festival Plaza, Shreveport, La., redriverrevel.com This eight-day festival will feature three stages of live music with a lineup that offers a wide variety of music. You’ll also find street performers, and a huge variety of food, including Cajun dishes, funnel cake and ice cream, Natchitoches meat pies and turkey legs. Over 100 artists will be displaying works from a variety of mediums, including oils and acrylics, metal, ceramics and watercolors. Shop the vendors for artwork, gourmet jams, soaps, candies and more. Children can enjoy fun and educational arts-related activities, such as face painting, ceramic painting, geologic digging and sand art.

LA. COTTON FESTIVAL Oct. 8-13, North Side Civic Center, Ville Platte, La., louisianacottonfestival.com Festivalgoers can enjoy authentic Acadian music and food, a pet show, a beer booth, a farmer’s market, a flower display, a carnival, a fais-do-do, a harAugust 1, 2013

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gumbo, as well as other Cajun favorites such as Jambalaya. But attendees will also find the old carnival standbys like hamburgers and hot dogs and funnel cakes. There’ll be live music and a faisdo-do, a pageant, and a gumbo cooking contest. Music lineup includes Bobby Cure and the Summertime Blues, Groovy 7, Epic, Burger and Fries, Tricks Band, Supernova, LA/Roadhouse Band, Will Cooper and Southern Groove and 90 Degrees West.

Oct. 11-13, Chackbay, La., lagumbofest.com Plenty of great Cajun food, carnival rides, a 5K, a pageant, a parade, a live auction, a raffle and live entertainment will be featured. Music lineup includes Drunk Punch Ponies, Shenandoah, Tet Dur, Aaron Foret, Ruff N Ready, Category 6, Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band, Warren Storm with Willie T and Cypress Band, and LA Reign.

FESTIVALS ACADIENS ET CREOLES Oct. 11-13, downtown Lafayette and Girard Park, festivalsacadiens.com Actually four festivals in one, this

year’s celebration of Cajun culture and music will include some of the best Cajun food in the area, including boudin, catfish courtbouillion, meat pies and jambalaya. There’ll also be live entertainment featuring some of the state’s best zydeco and Cajun music, and arts and crafts exhibits and booths.

MADISONVILLE WOODEN BOAT FESTIVAL Oct. 12-13, 10 am-6 pm, Lake Pontchartrain Maritime Museum on the Tchefuncte River, I-12 Exit 59, Hwy. 21 South, Madisonville, 985-8459200, woodenboatfest.org This event is the annual fundraiser for the Lake Pontchartrain Basin Maritime Museum. It will feature food, entertainment, art, music, arts and crafts, and a children’s village with games and performances. The popular Quick and Dirty Boat Building Contest will be featured. Teams will struggle to build seaworthy craft from the materials they are provided. The event culminates in a race of the craft. A free shuttle between the museum and the Water Street site on the river will be provided.

INTERNATIONAL RICE FESTIVAL Oct. 17-20, downtown Crowley, ricefestival.com This is a family-friendly celebration of Cajun heritage, culture and food. There will be carnival rides, arts and crafts, fiddle and accordion contests, a rice eating contest, a poker run, a classic car show, a 5K run/walk, a senior citizens ball, cooking contests, a frog derby, a rice grading contest and more. Music will be featured on two stages. Scheduled to appear are Feather Light, Katie Arminger, Keith Frank and the Soileau Zydeco Band, Oddfellows, Charley Rivers, Kira Viator and Bayou Beat, Wayne Toups and Zydecajun, Nik L Beer, Geno Delafose and French Rockin’ Boogie, Neal McCoy, Chris Himel and Outbound, Kevin Naquin and the Ossun Playboys, Travis Matte and the Kingpins, Jackie Callier and the Cajun Cousins, Colby Latiolais and Ambush, Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band, Brad Brinkley and Comfort Zone, Roddie Romero and the Hub City Allstars, Bag of Donuts, Bonne Chance, Louisiana Red, and Chee Weez.

CAL-CAM FAIR Oct. 17-21, Cal-Cam Fair Grounds, north of Sulphur, 337-527-9371 This old-fashioned country fair will feature livestock competitions, food booths, pageants, carnival rides, live entertainment, baked and canned goods competitions, etc.

ANDOUILLE FESTIVAL Oct. 18-20, St. John Center, Laplace, La., andouillefestival.com This festival celebrates the best-tasting andouille sausage in the world with cooking contests using andouille in gumbo, jambalaya and miscellaneous categories. Carnival rides, games, kids’

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activities (including a kids’ art tent), a fun run, and plenty of live music will also be featured.

CULTURE FEST LOUISIANA Oct. 26, Lake Charles Civic Center, 337-494-3905, culturefestlouisiana.com This festival celebrates the cultural common ground we all share. It will feature a kids’ international village with activities such as art and wall painting projects with an international flair, face painting and origami. Visitors can enjoy performances of the dance styles of India, belly dancing, and musical performances featuring a steel drum band, Scottish bagpipes and African-American and Spanish choirs. Also featured will be the World Cafe ethnic restaurant.

NOVEMBER LOUISIANA RENAISSANCE FESTIVAL Nov. 2-Dec. 8 (weekends), and Friday, Nov. 29, Robert, La. (east of Hammond), larf.net This is an all-out Medieval pageant, a cross between a theme park and a festival. There will be more than 100 places to shop, and more than a dozen stages will offer entertainment — over 50 shows, including swordfight and jousting tournaments; juggling; music demonstrations (including dulcimer, lute and bagpipes); blacksmithing demonstrations; puppet shows; falconry shows and kids’ shows. There will also be a “living history” center, a wine and whiskey tasting; and Celtic music. The festival is held rain or shine.

ATCHAFALAYA BASIN FESTIVAL Nov. 9, Henderson, La., atchafalayabasinfestival.com This festival celebrates the Cajun lifestyle and the 860-acre Atchafalaya River Basin, the area where “the land meets the swamp.” Features will include plenty of food; live music; a silent auction; fun jumps and rides; and a car, truck and motorcycle show. Music lineup includes Geno Delafose and French Rockin’ Boogie, Helen Boudreaux and Friends, Hunter Courville and Cajun Fever, The Huval Family Band, High Performance, and Jamie Bergeron and the Kickin’ Cajuns.

RAYNE FROG FESTIVAL Nov. 6-9, I-10 Exit 87, Rayne, raynefrogfestival.com Hop on over to Rayne and help the town celebrate its mascot with five days of family entertainment, fun and music. Activities will include carnival rides, a parade, a frog cooking contest, food and vendor booths, arts and crafts shows, pageants, a diaper derby, a golf tournament, a 5 K run, and of course, a frog race and jumping contest.

Photo By Jamie Lee

LA. GUMBO FESTIVAL

HIGH SCHOOL DAZE THE INTERNET'S MOST SENSITIVE EXPLAIN WHY THEY STRUGGLE WITH HIGH SCHOOL • BY BRAD GOINS TUMBLR IS SUPPOSED to be the favorite internet site of intelligent, sensitive, creative youths. In other words, it’s the cyber hangout for the very sorts of people who invariable suffer the most during the high school years. The selections that follow reflect one day of tumblr posters’ input about discontent with high school. On July 15, I searched for the term “high school” on tumblr and got 76 hits. Of course, on any other day, the search would have yielded different results. But most likely, those results would include subject matter and terminology very similar to what you see in the items that follow. Searches for terms such as “cutting,” “bullying,” “anorexic” and “suicidal” would also yield many similar results (although, of course, the posters would not necessarily be making reference to high school). One sees over and over in these writing samples that some of the problems arise because a high school is a true democracy. Any sort of person can go to a high school. No one is thrown out for being crude, rude, boorish, racist, sexist, insulting, what have you. In high school, there is no way to avoid louts — especially in hallways and common areas. The comments also show a certain amount of anxiety about what comes after high school. It’s obvious that at least a few of the posts here come from outside the United States. But with these samples, anyway, the concerns about high school seem pretty much universal. In some cases, the writer’s original

in that building. Please, self. Please. — mleekaye, age and location not given

language has been edited fairly heavily to make the piece more readable. (For instance, on tumblr, young posters almost always write things out in one paragraph. Only two of the samples contained paragraph breaks in their original forms.) But in each case, the writer’s original language has been retained. There have been no changes to the substance of the writings.

I’m really sick of dreaming about high school. It was four of the hardest, worst years of my life. Between getting the crap beat out of me, my locker getting vandalized every other day and a million other things. I did it. I made it out. I survived. So I just want to stop going through all the s—- that happened to me

I’m so glad high school is over. Every adult in my life always said I’ll miss it and I’ll wish I was young again; that I’ll wish I was back in high school again. I just have to laugh. My freshman year was my worst year of my life. I was that kid that never had any friends. Always going from one class straight to another. Sure, I talked to people; sure I had a few laughs. But I wasn’t being me. I was forced to hide in a shell of what everyone thought I was. Sophomore year I tried to kill myself. Swallowed a bottle of pills. I threw them up and passed out on my bathroom floor. Junior year and senior year, I played it low key, stayed quiet and drew inward. Tried to talk to people, but by that time I was one of the weird kids no one talked to. And God forbid, had I come out as wanting to be trans, I would have been eaten alive. That school was so Republican and conservative, it wasn’t even funny. One day in government class, we talked about the Navy SEAL who went trans, and my entire class erupted into an insulting frenzy. How gross she was, how much of a disgrace she is, how she should have never been allowed to serve our country in the military. Hmm. I hated high school. I’m glad it’s over. — Poontious, age and location not given continued

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HIGH SCHOOL DAZE continued

Stuff that has made me very sad and angry lately: How white males at my school complain about being oppressed by women and black people. How sexist, homophobic and racist jokes are casually made by teachers and students alike, and the vast amount of people who actually think they’re funny. Don’t even get me started on that one a——— who keeps making rape jokes, and everyone who laughs at him. Being accused of being a “feminazi” or “lesbian” every time I call someone out on being sexist/gross and creepy. (As if my sexuality has anything to do with my morals.)

You’d think people in South Africa would be sensitive to subjects such as discrimination. Buuuut, nope, not generally. Being stared at by boys who are usually mean to me every time they see me in normal clothes “because I have nice tits.” Seriously, I don’t know how I have survived this long surrounded by such imbeciles. High school sucks. — hellogabbi, South Africa, age not given High school is such a joke in the U.S. We romanticize it and tell our youth to immortalize these “golden moments.”

Then [we] shame them into thinking they’re foolish for doing things their parents had done. For exploring the world to feed our never-ending curiosity of this constantly adapting world. H i g h school is literally all about acting like how Hollywood set it to be. Being the pretty sweetheart girl who falls for the bad boy, being a nerd and getting bullied by jocks, jocks sleeping around and people cheering them [on] to continue to seduce girls into meaningless sex. It’s so annoying, and I can’t stand it any more. I want out. — umakemewanttouke, age and location not given

And then [my father] went on to say “as long as you really know that is what you will want to be and that’s the path you want to take, you’ll get there.” But it isn’t. I don’t want to be a vet, that’s what he wants. And he doesn’t understand that. I just want to be a primary school teacher or something I will enjoy. Just not a vet or a lawyer or a doctor or an accountant. I am just so stressed out about my future and I’m meant to be relaxing right now. — Exceptence, 15, U.K. So in St. Petersburg, they apparently have this huge celebration for high school graduates and it involves a huge fireworks display. This city is doing something really right because I think we all deserve a fireworks display for getting through six years of hell without killing or dismembering someone whilst under huge pressure to do well in some exams that will determine the rest of our future. — aliceroared, 18, RussianAustralian I’m getting really nervous about going back to school. I don’t know why. I’m pretty comfortable and everything. Maybe it’s being in new classes. Maybe it’s realizing that I’m getting closer and closer to the end of high school — the time that everyone thinks I should know what I want to do with my life. Yep, that’s it. — samaras, New York City, no age given Next year will be different. It’s my last year in high school, I’m going to be happy and I will get better. I’m not going to promise myself no tears or sad days. We all have those, but this time mine won’t last for weeks. I will try more than ever to make it through. — wonderstruckbythestarlight, 16, New Jersey Actually, when I think about walking through those halls again, I literally feel sick to my stomach. It’s really tough, because there are people who will yell in my face while I’m trying to read a book on the bus. There are people who will treat me like an idiot and make fun of my body. And worst of all, there’s everyone I’ve made a negative impression on. The acquaintances I want nothing to do with and the people I’m too scared to reach out to. I’m going to break down crying in the middle of classes and be completely unable to handle everyday life. I can’t pretend that I won’t because I’ve always been unstable, and honestly, I have no idea what to do about myself anymore. — watch-out-for-trains, age and location not given What do you dislike about high school? people — not-quite-dark-yet, age and location not given

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CONFERENCE CALL PARENTS SHOULD ASK QUESTIONS AT PARENT-TEACHER CONFERENCES WITHOUT PARENTAL involvement, parent teacher conferences are a missed opportunity. Conferences are the time to learn more about your child’s learning style, relationship with others, what he’ll be learning and even about the teacher’s teaching style. If you sit back and listen, you’ll still learn about your child, but perhaps miss some key things you should know. There are a number of questions you can ask at a parent teacher conference to elicit information and help to make your child’s year more successful.

General Questions To Ask At Parent Teacher Conferences — What skills are being addressed right now and how does that tie in to the overall goal for the year? — Is my child keeping up in class? — How is my child getting along with other children? — Could you outline the schedule of a typical day/class period for me? — What kinds of testing should I expect my child to participate in this year? — Does this testing have an impact on his academic future or how he is graded?

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— What can I do at home to reinforce what he is learning? — What type of discipline plan do you use in the classroom? — What are your views on homework, and what is your homework policy?

Questions To Ask If Your Child Isn’t Being Challenged — What types of things is my child doing to keep challenged? — Does the school have a gifted and talented program? — What type of testing is required to see if my child qualifies? — Can you recommend some enrichment activities to support her learning? — What opportunities does my child have for independent, student-led learning?

If Your Child Is Struggling Academically — At what level is my child performing in his academic subjects?

— What types of supports are available to help him keep up with his grade-level peers? — Do you have any insight as to what may be causing his difficulties? — Do you think a referral for Special Education evaluation is appropriate?

If you sit back and listen, you may miss some key things you should know. There are a number of questions you can ask at a parent teacher conference to elicit information and help to make your child’s year more successful.

Questions To Ask If You (Or Your Child) Don’t Get Along With The Teacher — How is my child’s attitude in the classroom? Is she respectful? Does she follow rules and expectations? — Do you feel that you and my child are having trouble working well together? — Can we discuss why we seem to have trouble working smoothly together? — What do you think you and I (or you and my child) can do to make this year successful? — I’d like to share with you my concerns about (what I see, your teaching style, etc.) in your classroom.

Questions To Ask If Your Child Is Having Trouble With Peers — Does my child interact with other children? — Do you see that she has any friends? — Is she having trouble with specific groups of children? — Do you feel she is being bullied? — Can you tell me what your thoughts are about her difficulties with socialization?

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FRIENDLY REMINDER PARENTS SHOULD KNOW THEIR CHILDREN'S ACQUAINTANCES IF YOU THINK Your teen hangs out with the wrong crowd, you’re not alone. If you think you can do something about it, you may be right — but only up to a point. “Parents can’t pick their child’s friends,” says Stephen M. Gavazzi, a human development and family science professor at Ohio State University and codirector of its Center for Family Research. But, he adds, that doesn’t mean the situation is beyond their control. Parents who make an extra effort to know their child’s friends and their parents will improve their chances of steering their offspring away from the wrong crowd. Parents also can make them less vulnerable by encouraging their children to participate in sports, clubs and other time-intensive activities. The desire for privacy and independence are hallmarks of becoming an adolescent, observes Tedd Habberfield, clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at the University of Buffalo, New York. Rites of passage make it hard for parents to determine if their children are simply trying to take more responsibility for themselves or are intentionally hiding something parents would forbid or challenge.

“I would become concerned when a child totally shuts parents out, becomes disrespectful and rejecting of family values and parental authority. Usually, this indicates that the child has a new reference group and that the new group doesn’t share [the parents’] values,” Habberfield says. Ironically, the peer group’s values may reflect what your child has learned from you, contends Dr. Hans Steiner, professor of psychology and human development at Stanford University’s Packard Children’s Hospital. “Kids select peer groups according to standards built into their heads; values that have been in the making for some time. Parents are powerful social models. If you use drugs or drink alcohol, your child may choose friends who do the same thing. What you do overrides what you say,” Steiner maintains. Child-behavior experts say parents should seek help if their child: • suddenly does poorly in school • undergoes a personality change • is disrespectful to parents, teachers and other adults

• defies parental authority or shuts them out altogether • does drugs, drinks or commits crimes. If your child displays such behavior and won’t talk to you, try a sibling or trusted family friend. You may need help from a clergyman, psychologist or social worker, or may have to place your child in a

If your young child consistently displays bad behavior, you need to find the source of the problem. It could be peer-related, such as being bullied at school. Younger children need more guidance and direct advice.

residential treatment program. Elementary schoolchildren have problems, too. They also may test your parental authority, but “isolated incidents don’t mean much,” Steiner says. If your young child consistently displays bad behavior, you need to find the source of the problem. It could be peer-related, such as being bullied at school. “Younger children need more guidance and direct advice,” he explains. Listening to your child will help him avoid making bad choices in friends, says Habberfield. “Most kids in trouble don’t expect that we will listen. If an adult does listen, the child tends to self-disclose. Obviously, it helps if we’ve listened all along, because problems rarely get out of hand if we have.” The best way to stop your child from getting involved with the wrong crowd, he says, is getting an early start. “It’s important to talk with our children about their friends from the time they first start to choose them. Helping them learn to determine the differences between a friend who truly cares about them and someone likely to take advantage of or otherwise harm them is essential training as we prepare them for the teen and adult world.”

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SCHOOL REFUSAL Many kids look forward to going to school. They may not always enjoy every single part of the school day, but in general, they like spending time with their friends at school, learning new things and being challenged. Other kids dread going to school. For these kids, going to school may become so stressful that they have temper tantrums over going to school, or complain of symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches or chest pain. Why? For some kids, there is an easily identifiable trigger for school refusal, such as being bullied, a death in the family, or a move to a new neighborhood. When one of these events means that the child stays home with a parent for a period of time, the child may not want to go to school any more. Although school refusal has been associated with both separation anxiety disorder and social phobia, the easiest way to think about it is that school refusal is a difficulty attending school that’s associated with emotional distress, especially anxiety and depression.

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Managing School Refusal Of course, the main goal in managing school refusal is getting the child back in school. Unfortunately, when kids seem sick and are trying to stay home from school, it’s not always easy to recognize that they’re avoiding school. That’s why a visit to your pediatrician is usually a good first step when your kids don’t want to go to school. This can help ensure that your child doesn’t have a physical condition that’s causing his symptoms. Unfortunately, while a physical condition can often be ruled out after your pediatrician talks to you and your child and does a physical exam, some children with school refusal end up seeing multiple specialists and having many tests before a diagnosis is finally made. Once a diagnosis of school refusal is made, here are some suggestions to handle the problem: • Make sure that your child goes to school each day; the longer he stays home, the harder it will be to get him to go back to school. • Understand that even though your child likely doesn’t have a physical problem causing his symptoms, that doesn’t mean that those symptoms aren’t real. Your child isn’t necessarily making up symptoms, such as stomachaches or headaches. They may just be caused by his anxiety about going to school. • Talk to your child and school staff to see if you can figure out what’s triggering your child’s school avoidance behaviors: a bully, school performance problems, or trouble-making friends. • Consider getting help from a child psychiatrist or psychologist in addition to your pediatrician, especially if you feel as if you’re having to force your child to go to school early. • Have a plan for when your child has symptoms at school; you might have him spend 10-15 minutes in the nurse’s office and then go to class. • Keep a symptom diary, and see your pediatrician on the days your child feels like he really can’t go to school.

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NOT YOUR GRANDMA'S SCHOOL LUNCH TODAY'S SCHOOL MEALS ARE HEALTHIER, MORE DIVERSE • BY KARLA WALL GONE ARE THE DAYS of students having to force down a lunch of watery (and greasy) sloppy joes three times a week, accompanied by soggy French fries (deep fried, of course), with the same meat served as spaghetti sauce the other two. Today’s students are chowing down on healthier, more filling, and more diverse meals, thanks to new government mandates. “Every 10 years, the USDA does an assessment of school meals to see where they stand healthwise,” says Calcasieu Parish School Board food services director Patricia Hoseman. Over the last five years or so, she explains, the standards have changed to reflect the latest Dietary Guidelines for Americans, which replaced the old graphic representation of a healthy diet — the pyramid — with the “steps to healthy eating.”

New Guidelines, New Meals In 2010, Hoseman says, the federal Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act was passed, mandating even further changes in the National School Lunch Program, a federally assisted meal program operating in over 100,000 public and non-profit private schools, as well as child-care institutions. Put into effect at the start of the last school year, the act calls for an increase in fruits, vegetables and whole grains into the school menu, and for a reduction in the

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sodium content of meals. “The 2010 act really re-structured our meals,” quips Hoseman. “You can’t serve French fries as a vegetable every day anymore.” While the old guidelines were for grades K-12, Hoseman says, under the new program, dietary requirements are set using three age groups: K-5, 6-8 and 9-12. “Students in different age groups, need different calorie, sodium and protein levels,” explains Hoseman. In the K-5 age group, for example, meals must reach a calorie range of 550650 per meal. For high schools students, each meal must pack 750-850 calories.

Healthier (And More Diverse) Offerings Today’s students eat lunches that are different in numerous ways from those served just a couple of years ago, let alone 20 years ago, according to Hoseman. Virtually all processed grains have been eliminated from school lunches, says Hoseman, and replaced with whole grains. “Our rolls are 51-percent whole grain rather than white flour; our hamburger buns and hot dog buns are whole wheat; our spaghetti is whole wheat,” Hoseman says. “We don’t serve white rice anymore; we serve brown rice. We’ve been serving whole grains for about two years now, so we’ve been ahead of the curve on that.” Gone are high-sodium condiments such as hot sauce, and even pickles are no longer on the menu because of their high

sodium content. Fresh fruits such as pineapple, cantaloupe, peaches and watermelon are staples of today’s school lunches — and not in cobbler form, either. Vegetable offerings include baby carrots, sweet potatoes, celery sticks and cherry tomatoes. “Students can’t leave the line without having picked up at least one fruit offering,” says Hoseman. Along those same lines, Hoseman says that the CPSB has been approved to begin a new program to introduce students more fruits and vegetables as mid-day snacks. The program will begin at JFK Elementary this coming school year. “The program’s designed to increase the consumption of fruits and vegetables that students might not get at home,” Hoseman says. “It introduces them to things they haven’t tried.” For instance, she says, plans are to offer fried jicama, and purple beets. For dessert, students can enjoy whole wheat sugar cookies rather than the cobblers of yesteryear. And students will find much more than apples and oranges on their plates in today’s school cafeterias. Not only are today’s meals healthier; they’re also more diverse, offering fruits and vegetables that a student 20 years ago wouldn’t have even heard of. There’s kiwi, for instance, as well as bok choy, taro, plantains and cassava. Also changed drastically is the preparation of food, with an emphasis on fresh — and not fried.

“We’ve gotten rid of all of our fryers,” says Hoseman. “Fries — and even chicken tenders — are oven baked.” Foods are prepared from scratch much more than in years past, says Hoseman. The emphasis, she says, is on fresh and as unprocessed as possible.

More Cost, Longer prep, More Training While the changes certainly benefit the students, says Hoseman, they haven’t exactly made the jobs of cafeteria staff easier. “(The new guidelines have) been a real challenge,” she says. “Preparation takes much longer now than it used to. There’s a lot more to training employees now. There’s worrying about recipes and ingredients.”

Still More Change? Hoseman says she wants to add new items in the next year or so to increase the number of middle and high school students who eat cafeteria lunches (students are still allowed to bring their own lunches if they wish). And to make meals even healthier. “I’d like to begin using low-sodium sausage for gumbos or red beans and rice,” she says. “We’ll be adding beef stew to the menu soon, as well as baked potatoes. I’d also like to begin serving wrap sandwiches, and to add a salad line.”

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MOVIN' UP HALLMARKS OF HIGH SCHOOL STRETCHING DOWN the wayward hallways of high school is an abyss of confused independence, cliques, psychological warfare, competition, labels, hormones and conflicts that coalesce to create the tumultuous teenage years. Some make it through this j o u r n e y unscathed. Most liken it to walking over a platform of broken glass in a desperate attempt to get to safety on the other side. But for everyone, it’s a necessary rite of passage that teaches us volumes about ourselves and the world. “One of the reasons the high school years are so challenging is because these are years of great change and uncertainty,” says licensed professional counselor Keri Forbess-McCorquodale, MS, CEAP, LPC, LMFT, owner of Solutions Counseling & EAP. “You have this high school full of people who are going through the same thing — the struggle for independence, self-exploration, trying to understand who they are and who they want to be — and they’re all going through it in different ways. Throw in all

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the hormonal and emotional changes that take place at the same time, and you have an environment that’s certainly not for the faint of heart.” According to ForbessMcCorquodale, teenagers often find themselves in a series of conflicting life situations: They crave independence, but have to depend on their parents. They long for their

Because friends and peers play such a large role in a teenager’s life, it’s important for teens to make the right choices when they decide to nestle themselves into certain social groups.

own identity, but want to fit in. They demand to be treated as adults, but don’t have a full understanding of adult responsibility. All these conflicting elements can create storms in a young adult’s life, one that’s further aggravated by a preoccupation with romance, peer pressure and the need to succeed. In addition to this firestorm, ForbessMcCorquodale notes that teenagers are quick to compare themselves to others and place larger value on rewards rather than consequences, both of which can result in poor decisions and feelings of inferiority. “The teen years aren’t necessarily the hardest of a person’s life, but it can certainly feel that way, and for some, the teen years are a very marked experience that carries into adulthood,” ForbessMcCorquodale says. “The key to surviving high school is knowing what to expect, understanding why certain systems and dynamics exist, and finding out how you fit into it all.” Teenagers typically steer away from their parents during this period and focus more on the advice and guidance of their peers, but that doesn’t mean parents don’t have a voice. The best route a parent can take, according to Forbess-McCorquodale, is to treat their teenagers with respect, encourage them to embrace their individuality, allow them to explore the things that interest them, and provide a supportive and open household of communication. “Parents want what’s best for their kids, so it can be difficult when our children hit the teenage years and start making decisions on their own. Although it’s important for parents to keep their teens on the right track and hold them accountable for their choices, it’s also important that parents resist the urge to push their own agenda on their kids, especially teenagers who are searching for their own voice,” Forbess-McCorquodale says. “If your son wants to join the band instead of play football, he should feel comfortable voicing those feelings.” Because friends and peers play such a large role in a teenager’s life, it’s important for teens to make the right choices when they decide to nestle themselves into certain social groups. A poor choice of friends can have long-lasting and farreaching consequences. “Social groups are the heartbeat of high school hierarchy. The need to fit in and feel a sense of ‘sameness,’ while also embracing that much-needed individuality can create either a positive or negative dynamic,” Forbess-McCorquodale says. “If four friends are engaging in dangerous or risky behavior, it’s hard to be that fifth person who says, ‘No thanks.’ Your best bet is to find a group of friends who aren’t interested in those behaviors either.” The good news is that it can be easy to find friends of like mind in high school. Look no further than clubs and organizations. Are you artistic and creative? Join the art club. Love theatre? Sign up for drama. High schools typically offer everything from chess clubs to cheerleading. If you aren’t sure, schedule a visit with the high school guidance counselor. “Some teenagers are hesitant to join certain clubs or groups because they feel like they need to fit in with the so-called ‘popular crowd,’ but high school will be a long stretch of time if you aren’t embracing the things that truly interest you,” Forbess-McCorquodale says. “In the long run, teenagers — and adults, for that mat-

ter — are happier when they feel like they can be themselves.” High school can also be difficult because of the additional responsibilities faced by teenagers. They’re expected to go to school, do homework, get good grades, socialize, stay out of trouble, get a job and decide on a college or career path — all while learning about romance and relationships. Most teenagers respond to immediate risks and benefits, rather than thinking in the long-term. At this time of increased responsibility and awareness, everything feels like a drama. A break-up can seem like the end of the world. “Parents can guide their teenagers through all this by being accessible and understanding — by not patronizing or dismissing their child’s emotions. As adults, we like to say things like, ‘Wait till you get out in the real world.’ But for teenagers, their world is very real,” Forbess-McCorquodale says. “Teenagers need to learn strong coping skills. One of the best ways to do this is to accept responsibility for their choices, have a good support system, and develop a strong sense of self.” Teenagers who don’t have a strong support system should seek one out. They may not want to reach out to adults, but it’s important not to suffer alone. “If you don’t want to talk to a guidance counselor, go to someone else you trust — a family friend, priest, preacher — someone,” Forbess-McCorquodale says. “Although it can be difficult to go through the hardships of high school, it’s important to remember that you will get through it, and come out better in the end.”

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ROUTINES KIDS NEED A GOOD ROUTINE

DIOCESE OF LAKE CHARLES OFFICE OF CATHOLIC SCHOOLS 1112 Bilbo, Lake Charles, LA 70601 337-433-9640 Ext. 200 The Most Reverend Glen John Provost, Bishop of Lake Charles Mrs. Kimberlee Gazzolo, Superintendent of Catholic Schools

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One of the secrets to school success is an organized school routine. A routine keeps everyone on the same page, and makes getting ready for school, finishing homework, completing projects, and doing everything else that goes on during the school year a lot easier. Is your family’s school routine what you need it to be? Consider the following tips to help you manage your time, your commitments, your tween’s commitments, and other demands of the school year.

Sleep and Your Tween’s School Routine Your child may be growing older, but he or she still needs between 9 and 10 hours of sleep a night. That’s hard to get, when you consider all your tween has to do in the course of the day. But it’s important that your child rests adequately. It helps make the morning routine run a bit smoother, and helps your child focus in class.

Establish A Curfew Curfews can sometimes be thrown to the wind during the summer months, but parents should try to reestablish curfew rules and enforce them a few weeks prior to the beginning of a new school year. By the time the new school year rolls around, your tween should already be transitioned to the new schedule. What’s a reasonable curfew for a tween? Keep in mind your tween’s sleeping needs when determining a curfew, but be sure to make exceptions for special events or activities.

Go Shopping Be sure your tween starts a new school year with all the school supplies he’s likely to need. It’s also a good idea to buy extra supplies that he’s likely to run out of quickly, such as loose leaf paper, pencils, and other items you think

he’ll need to restock within a month or two. Keep a closet or a drawer stocked with items your tween will likely need at some point during the year for homework or projects. Items to keep on hand include crayons, markers, glue, poster board, index cards and tape.

Write Down The Schedule Keeping tweens organized means putting their schedules in writing. Keep the family calendar in a place visible to all, such as the refrigerator, family workroom or some other spot where your child will see it everyday. Run through the school routine with your child a few times before the start of the school year, explaining when he should get up, have breakfast, have his teeth brushed, have his lunched packed, meet the bus, etc. Review the calendar daily, making note of any last minute changes or daily appointments or commitments. It’s also a good idea to go over the after-school schedule with your tween. For example, specify when your tween should have certain chores or responsibilities finished, for example, when homework is to be completed, or when your tween should begin setting the table for dinner.

Stock The Pantry Tweens can be thrown off schedule easily. A common obstacle for them is finding snacks after school or items to pack in their lunch. Make it easy for your tween to locate healthy and nutritious items for snacks or lunch by providing items that taste good and provide a nutritious component. Junk foods only provide empty calories, and won’t be enough to help your tween get through the day. Healthy eating is a must if you want your tween to stay on track, and help his body and brain develop the way they’re supposed to.

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lake area

people

Duarte Joins Ortho Specialists Robert Duarte, MD, an orthopaedic surgeon, has joined the Memorial Medical staff at Orthopaedic Specialists. Duarte received his medical degree from Florida State University College of Medicine in Tallahassee. He then went on to complete his residency in orthopaedic surgery at the Louisiana State University Health Sciences Center in New Orleans, where he also served as a dissection lab instructor. Duarte recently returned to Florida to complete his fellowship in adult orthopaedic reconstruction and arthritis surgery at the Florida Orthopaedic Institute in Tampa.

Mikulla Joins Falgoust Eye Brian Mikulla, MD, recently joined the medical practice of Donald Falgoust, MD, at Falgoust Eye Medical and Surgical. Originally from Pittsburgh, Penn., Mikulla received his bachelor’s in biochemistry from the University of Notre Dame in Notre Dame, Ind., and his MBA and MD degree from Tulane University in New Orleans. He completed an internal medicine internship and a three-year ophthalmology residency at Tulane.

Semien Joins Memorial Medical Group Joseph Semien, Jr., MD, an obstetrician and gynecologist, has joined the Memorial Medical Group staff. He will be joining the practice of Dr. Gisele McKinney, OB/GYN. A former United States Army Medical Specialist, Semien received his bachelor’s from Xavier University in New Orleans. He also earned a master’s tropical medicine and parasitology from the Tulane University School of Public Health. He then went on to receive his medical degree from St. Matthew’s University School of Medicine in Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands. He most recently completed his residency in obstetrics and gynecology at the Central Michigan University College of Medicine

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in Saginaw, where he served as chief resident, a member of the diabetic committee and an adjunct instructor.

Ballard Named WCCH Employee Of Quarter Bill Ballard, biomedical technician, was recently named West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital’s third-quarter Employee of the Quarter. Ballard is a resident of Lake Charles and has worked at WCCH for six years.

Burns Named WCCH Unit Manager Shelley Burns, RN, has been promoted to third floor surgical and medical patient care unit manager at West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital. Burns previously served as the hospital’s house supervisor. A resident of Sulphur, she holds a bachelor’s in nursing from McNeese. She has been employed by West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital for 13 years.

Burns

Cormier

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assists in the development of healthcare policy. As part of this organization, the two doctors provide input on national healthcare policy, in addition to sharing ideas on how the medical community can adapt to the rapidly changing landscape of healthcare.

Fontenot Joins Menard Eye Center Dr. Patrick Fontenot recently joined Menard Eye Center at its new location at 4315 Lake St. (a half-block north of their previous location). A Lake Charles native, Fontenot is a licensed optometrist. He earned his bachelor’s from McNeese State University and his Doctor of Optometry from University of Houston College of Optometry. He has cared for patients in Southwest Louisiana since 2001.

Fruge Named Lakeside Bank IT Officer

Eric Cormier recently joined the staff of the Southwest Louisiana Economic Development Alliance as special projects manager and assistant communications director. Cormier has more than 20 years of communications experience, having worked as a journalist, radio broadcaster and public relations consultant.

Matt Fruge was recently named the information and technology Officer for Lakeside Bank. Originally from Church Point, Fruge joined the bank in 2012, and has over nine years of experience in the financial and banking industry. He holds an associate degree in computer engineering, and is a graduate of the Louisiana Banking School of Supervisory Training and Excel Business Leadership in Acadia Parish. He is also a certified electronic technician.

Local Physicians Attend Conference

L’Auberge Promotes Miller-Vincent, Martin

Jody George, MD, family medicine physician with The Family Practice Center of Southwest Louisiana, and Jason Fuqua, MD, family medicine physician with Calcasieu Family Physicians of West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital, were two of four physicians from Louisiana who attended a meeting of the American Academy of Family Physicians in Kansas. George and Fuqua are part of the National Congress of Specialty Constituencies, an organization which

Stephanie Miller-Vincent has been promoted to director of food and beverage at L’Auberge Casino Resort Lake Charles; and Kim Martin has been promoted to director of credit. Miller-Vincent joined L’Auberge in 2005 as part of the property’s pre-opening team. She started her career at Pinnacle Entertainment as general manager of the Snake River Grill restaurant. In 2011, she oversaw the debut of Ember Grille & Wine Bar, prior to being promoted to assistant director of food and

Cormier Joins Economic Development Alliance

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Fruge

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beverage. Martin joined L’Auberge in 2005 as a table games pit manager. He was later promoted to assistant table games manager, followed by a second promotion to table games manager in 2006. In 2011, he took on the role of casino manager, earning the Pinnacle Entertainment Leadership Award.

Ieyoub, Robert Join Heart Of Hospice Dr. Susan B. Ieyoub has recently joined the staff of Heart of Hospice as associate medical director. Ieyoub, a native of Lake Charles, is board certified in Internal Medicine. Her practice is located at Internal Medicine Clinic of Lake Charles. Rev. Jody B. Robert recently joined the staff of Heart of Hospice as community relations manager and chaplain. Robert has 15 years of experience in the health care industry as administrator, community relations manager, business development manager and chaplain.

Terro Promoted At Dynamic Dimensions MB Sheena Terro has been promoted to the position of wellness coordinator at Dynamic Dimensions of West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital’s Moss Bluff location. Terro previously served as the center’s aquatics coordinator. A resident of Sulphur, she holds a bachelor’s in health and human performance from McNeese. She has been employed by West Calcasieu Cameron Hospital for seven years.

Eight Graduate Memorial/LSUHSC Residency Program Eight doctors recently graduated from the Lake Charles Memorial Hospital and Louisiana State University Health Science Center Family Medicine residency training program. Graduates are Drs. Matt Courville, Mandy Crow, Andrew Davies, Tommy Gould, Lynda Mbah, Lan Minh Pham, Danielle Rushing and Josh Whatley.

SPECIAL #1 • $74.95 5 lbs Shoulder Steak • 5 lbs Pork Chops • 5 lbs Hamburger (Chuck) • 4 Whole Fryers (or) 20 lbs Leg Quarters SPECIAL #2 • $82.95 5 lbs Shoulder Steak • 5 lbs Sausage • 5 lbs Round Steak • 5 lbs Hamburger (Chuck) SPECIAL #3 • $95.95 5 lbs T-Bone Steak • 5 lbs Round Steak • 5 lbs Shoulder Steak • 5 lbs Hamburger (Chuck) SPECIAL #4 • $65.95 5 lbs Pork Ribs • 5 lbs Pork Steak • 5 lbs Pork Chops • 5 lbs Pork Sausage SPECIAL #5 • $51.95 4 lbs Shoulder Steak • 4 lbs Pork Chop • 4 lbs Hamburger (Chuck) • 2 Whole Fryers (or) 10 lbs Leg Quarters SPECIAL #6 • $134.95 5 lbs Sausage • 5 lbs Sirloin Steak • 5 lbs Shoulder Steak • 5 lbs Hamburger (Chuck) • 5 lbs Pork Ribs • 5 lbs Pork Steak • 4 Whole Fryers (or) 20 lbs Leg Quarters August 1, 2013

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THURSDAY, AUG. 1 Coushatta Legends in Concert; Isis Dharma Open mic Isle of Capri TBA L’Auberge Liquid Society Flamethrowers; Jack After Dark DJ Eric Scott Luna Live TBA

THURSDAY, AUG. 8 Coushatta Reminisce Dharma Open mic 8 pm Isle of Capri TBA L’Auberge Liquid Society Buckcherry; Jack After Dark DJ San-D Luna Live TBA

karaoke Annie's 9pm Friday; Saturday Bourbonz 8pm Tuesdays Chicageaux Bar 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Club 90 8pm Saturday Coolers Thursday Crickets 8:30pm Friday DeQuincy VFW 7-11pm Friday; 6-10pm Sunday

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FRIDAY, AUG. 2

SATURDAY, AUG. 3

CFMA Facility (3481 E Prien Lake) Jam & Dance Coushatta Legends in Concert; Isis Delta Downs Leon Chavis Dharma Foxy & The Highhats Isle of Capri TBA L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Eric Scott Loggerheads Brian Fontenot and Brian David Luna Live TBA Yesterdays Louisiana Express featuring Johnnie Allen

American Legion Sulphur T.J. Gautreaux Cigar Club Logan Soileau Coushatta Legends in Concert; Isis Delta Downs Leon Chavis Dharma Sinners, The Ramblin’ Boys, The Way High Men L'Auberge Jack After Dark DJ Eric Scott Loggerheads Clint Faulk Luna Live Gabriel’s Last Breath Yesterdays Champagne Room

FRIDAY, AUG. 9

SATURDAY, AUG. 10

Coushatta No Idea Cowboys Club 7 Radio Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma TBA Isle of Capri TBA L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ San-D Loggerheads Brad Broussard Luna Live Sam Pace Yesterdays The Molly Ringwalds

Dirty Rice Saloon 7pm Thursday Frosty Factory 9pm Thurs thru Sat Handlebars Club Tuesdays & Thursdays Huddle Up Thursdays Isle Of Capri 8pm-Midnight Wednesday Kaw-Ligas Tuesday thru Saturday Mike's Place 8pm-until M,W,F Linda's Lounge 8:30-11:30 Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; 9-1 Saturday Neighborhood Bar 7pm Thursday No Name Lounge 8-Mid Friday, 7-11pm Sunday Old Town Tavern Fri/Sat Nights

Cigar Club TBA Coushatta No Idea Delta Downs BB & Company Dharma TBA L’Auberge Jack After Dark DJ San-D Loggerheads Tom Brandow Yesterdays Geno Delafose & French Rockin’ Boogie

R-Bar 8pm Friday Sam's Cove 9pm Thursday Shorty's Ice House 9pm Friday Slim's Yesteryears 9pm Thursday Spot Bar & Grill Fridays Sports Pitt 8pm Thursday, Friday, Saturday Sulphur VFW 9pm-Mid Saturday Tiki Bar 8pm Friday Texas Longhorn Club 9pm Thursdays, 1am Fridays Fax listings to 433-8964 or edit@thelanyap.com

MUSICAL THEATRE WORKSHOP The Children’s Theatre Workshop will hold a workshop on musical theatre July 29-Aug. 2 at Central School, 809 Kirby St. The workshop, the final workshop of CTC’s 2012 Summer Starz series, is open to students ages 5-18. It’s designed to introduce newcomers to the world of musical theatre and challenge young veterans to perfect advanced theatrical concepts and production techniques. Students will learn musical theatre techniques by acting, singing and dancing to songs from Broadway shows. The final class features the students in a performance demonstration highlighting the musical theatre skills learned. Cost is $85. No experience is needed. For more information or to register, contact the theatre at 433-7323, or visit childrenstheatre.cc.

ROLLER DERBY

ABRAHAM LINCOLN EXHIBIT

The Lafitte’s Ladies roller derby team will take on the East Texas Bombers Aug. 10 at The Grindhouse, 932 Enterprise Blvd., suite C. Doors will open at 6 pm, and the game begins at 7 pm. Adult tickets are $12 in advance, and $15 at the door. Tickets for children younger than 10 are $6.

The City of Lake Charles will host an exhibit titled “Abraham Lincoln: The Image” at Historic City Hall Arts and Cultural Center through Oct. 12. An opening reception will take place Friday, Aug. 2, 5:30-8 pm. The exhibit offers highlights from one of the largest collections of Lincoln prints in the world, and illustrates how Lincoln was viewed by people of his time and how he has been remembered since. It features political cartoons, campaign broadsides, photographs, lithographs and memorials from 1857-1870, compiled from the collection of the Lincoln Financial Foundation. Historic City Hall is open Monday-Friday, 10 am-5 pm; and Saturday, 10 am-2 pm. Admission is free, but donations are gladly accepted. For more information, call 491-9147 or visit cityoflakecharles.com.

WHITETAILS UNLIMITED BANQUET Whitetails UnlimitedSouthwest Louisiana will hold its banquet Aug. 10 at the Lake Charles Civic Center. Deadline to purchase tickets is Aug. 9. Tickets will not be sold at the door. Social hour begins at 5 pm, followed by dinner at 7 pm. Tickets are $40 per person, $25 for a spouse, and $15 for children 15 and younger. For more information, call Chad Yellott at 274-9142.

SOCIAL MEDIA WORKSHOP The Lake Charles/Southwest Louisiana Convention and Visitors Bureau will present “Get Social,” a free social media training workshop featuring guest speaker Theresa Overby. It will take place Wednesday, Aug. 14, at the Lake Charles Civic Center Contraband Room. Beginner session will be from 8:30-11:30 am; advanced session will be from 1-4 pm. To register, call 433-9588 or go to visitlakecharles.org/getsocial. For more information, email aorr@visitlakecharles.org.

Left: John Chester Buttre. “Abraham Lincoln” New York, 1860. Mezzotint engraving. In a creative use of Mathew Brady’s famous pose, this printmaker adapted a popular 1859 print of John C. Fremont (a fellow Republican and 1856 nominee for president). Using Fremont’s body and Lincoln’s head, Buttre presented Lincoln as a refined and dignified statesman.

ART CAMP

JAM AND DANCE

FISHING TOURNEY

The Second Saturdays in Sulphur Art Camp will begin Aug. 10 and continue on the second Saturday of each month at the Henning Cultural Center, 923 Ruth St. in Sulphur. For more info, call 527-0357.

The Jam and Dance event will take place on the first Friday of each month at the CFMA Facility, located at 3481 E. Prien Lake Road. For more information, call 802-0802.

The fourth annual Salty Cajun Fishing Tournament benefiting St. Nicholas Center for Children will take place Aug. 3, 6 am-2 pm, at Calcasieu Point. Admission is $50. For more information, call 884-2889.

FLY FISHING EXPO The Contraband Flycasters will present a Fly Fishing Expo Saturday, Aug. 24, 8:30 am-4 pm, at PPG-Porter Hall at 2250 Bayou D’inde Pass (Prater Road) in Westlake, La. The event will feature fly tying, casting instruction, auctions and raffles, lure exhibits, equipment displays, food and refreshments. For more information, call 802-5363 or 853-7755.

August 1, 2013

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JOHNSON-HOLMES BENEFIT A benefit dance to help Stacey Johnson-Holmes with medical expenses associated with her fight against ovarian cancer will be held Aug. 3, 11:30 am-8 pm, at Starks Memorial VFW, 4402 Hwy. 12 in Starks. Barbecue plates featuring brisket, chicken or sausage links and all the trimmings will be available for $8. Barbecue brisket sandwiches will be available for $4, and sausage links on buns will be available for $2. There will also be a raffle, a bake sale, a cake walk and a live auction. Live music will be provided by B B and Company, with Huey Buxton and his Fiddle; “Jivin Gene” Bourgeois and Redbone Cookin’. For more information or to make a donation, call Terry Bussell at 409-6564675 or Starks VFW at 337-743-6409.

B-29 Superfortress

CHENNAULT INTERNATIONAL AIRSHOW The Chennault International Airshow will take place Sept. 28-29. Attractions will include the Aeroshell Aerobatic Team; a Canadian CF-18 jet demo; stunt flights by an authentic MiG-17 Cold-War-era Soviet jet; “Fifi,” the only B-29 “Superfortress” bomber flying today; the record-setting Dodge Jet Truck from Darnell Racing; Pemberton Aerosports, described as “the XGames act of airshows;” and a P-51 fighter from the famed World War II Red Tail Squadron. There will also be a traveling exhibit spotlighting the Red Tail Squadron and the Tuskegee Airmen. Other family-friendly attractions include static displays of military and civilian aircraft, radiocontrolled aircraft demonstrations, a McDonald’s-sponsored Kid Zone, local food vendors, an autograph tent where visitors can meet the performers, and a photo pit and photo tour for photographers. For more information or to purchase tickets online, visit chennaultairshow.com. For continuous Aeroshell team updates, visit the airshow’s Facebook page.

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GRANDPARENTS PARENTING SUPPORT GROUP MEETING A new support group devoted to area grandparents raising grandchildren will hold their first organizational meeting Wednesday, Aug. 7, 9-11 am, at the Allen P. August Multi-Purpose Annex on 2000 Moeling St. in Lake Charles. The meeting is open to all Calcasieu grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, or actively involved in assisting in the care of their grandchildren. Light refreshments will be served. For more information, contact Adele Mart or Lisa Addison at 721-4020.

SMALL BUSINESS SEMINAR A free small business seminar titled “Creating a Company Culture” will be offered Thursday, Aug. 8, 9-11 am, on the sixth floor of the Magnolia Building, 1011 Lakeshore Dr. The seminar is presented by the Louisiana Small Business Development Center at McNeese and SCORE. Sara Judson and Christi Miller of The Training Pathways Team will help participants understand how to inspire their employees to be “owners” instead of simply “renters.” Pre-registration is requested, and seating is limited. For more information, contact the LSBDC at McNeese at 475-5529 or visit LSBDC.MSU@lsbdc.org.

NAMI FAMILY EDUCATION COURSE The SWLA chapter of NAMI will host a free “Family to Family Education Course” beginning Tuesday, Aug. 27 and continuing for 12 consecutive Tuesday nights. Classes will be held 5:30-8 pm at the NAMI office, located at 715 Ryan St., suite 203. The course is for families and friends of individuals with serious mental illness. It will offer information about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, major depression disorder, panic disorder and OCD. Other topics will include coping skills such as handling crisis and relapse; basic information about medications; listening and communication techniques; problem-solving skills; recovery and rehabilitation; and self-care around worry and stress.

Accidents • Wrongful Death • Serious Personal Injury Criminal, Domestic Law Cases

Larry A. Roach (1932-2003) Barry A. Roach • Larry A. Roach, Jr. Fred C. "Bubba" LeBleu • David M. Hudson

2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196

August 1, 2013

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REEL TALK

duane bergeron

The Wolverine 20th Century Fox, Rated PG-13 Despite the media coverage on this summer’s blockbusters, such as The Avengers, Iron Man and Superman, Wolverine has stayed below the radar. The reasons are unknown. Yet, this franchise, spun off from The X-Men, continues to pull in box office dollars. There is obviously a loyal fan following for the movie and for its star, Hugh Jackman. Jackman has been a workhorse of an actor in this franchise, playing the role of Wolverine six times now. And he still gives it a dedicated effort every time he steps in front of the camera. I consider Jackman one of the best “A list” actors in Hollywood, and his signature character is one reason. It would be unthinkable to have another actor portray Wolverine, much as it would be unthinkable to see anyone but Robert Downey, Jr., in the role of Iron Man. Logan (Jackman) has been asked by Yukio (Rila Fukushima) to accompany her to Japan. Yukio’s adopted grandfather, Yashida (Hal Yamanouchi), is dying. He wants to grant Logan a final wish as a gift for saving his life in World War II. Yashida tells Logan that he can end his immortality. Logan is skeptical at first. But any such considerations are forgotten as Yashida’s other granddaughter, Mariko (Tao Okamoto), is kidnapped by the Japanese Mob. Logan is forced to become the Wolverine again to protect Mariko, and he is still haunted by dreams of Jean Grey (Famke Janssen). Logan is forced to deal with the threat to Mariko and his own existence at the same time. The inner conflicts become worse when a mutant known as Viper (Svetlana Khodchenkova) appears in Japan. Viper has the ability to weaken Wolverine, thus making him more vulnerable to injuries like knife and bullet wounds. Logan has to not only protect Mariko but also find a way to negate Viper’s ability to weaken him, or he and Mariko will face imminent death. This installment of the X-Men franchise goes against the usual formula for Wolverine in two ways. The first is that Wolverine is in a country in which he has virtually no knowledge of the culture or language. Basically, it’s another “fish out of

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August 1, 2013

water” setup. The second is that all references to mutants and his past life are ignored, except for the dream sequences involving Grey. While this approach seems to help, there’s a glaring problem involving the dramatic sequences. Wolverine is one of the few threedimensional superhero characters in the genre, but his dramatic potential is squashed. Director James Mangold woefully mismanages Logan’s scenes of angst and doubt. There’s no rhyme or reason to Logan’s feelings of doubt and inadequacy. They become jumbled and create a state of confusion in the flow of the narrative. The slow and plodding pace is another problem. The plot is slow almost to the point of being boring. Mangold and his crew may have thought having Janssen wearing lingerie in the dream sequences would take attention away from that weakness. It didn’t. All it did was stir up criticism for having Janssen dressed that way to begin with. Pacing is essential for a film’s success. In what should have been some of the most important scenes in The Wolverine, Mangold blew it badly. On the other hand, the action scenes were awesome. Though I’ve seen so many special effects sequences by now that I’m not easily impressed, I must say this film’s exceptional in this regard. Mangold was successful with this part of the picture. The scene involving a fight between Wolverine and his Japanese enemies on the top of a speeding bullet train is one of the most impressive fight scenes I’ve ever witnessed in a superhero feature. It’s good to know that The Wolverine does have some redeeming entertainment value. There is, as usual in a Marvel Productions release, a teaser scene in the end credits. Make sure you stay long enough to view it. It contains a major surprise. Jackman will return as the Wolverine in the next X-Men feature, slated for a May 2014 release. Though The Wolverine as a stand-alone is better than the last one, XMen Origins: Wolverine (2009), this film has deficits that almost killed it completely. While it’s not on my list of the best films of 2013, The Wolverine does have some redeeming qualities. This will make a decent movie to watch on home video.

MOUNTED MEMORIES

rocke "soybean" fournet

Remember To Enter Everybody has heard the bad news story many times over: an angler saves a few bucks by not entering the STAR tournament, and lo and behold, catches a tagged fish. We’ve even mounted a few potential winners as a constant and painful reminder to said angler. But have no fear; this is the flip side of a great fishing trip with a very happy ending. Captain Daryl Kingery was on some nice speckled trout and raring to go at first light. The Manuel boys, Kermit and Tee, hustled down from Kinder and this trip was on. The old adage that it’s bad luck to catch a fish on the first cast was immediately shot out of the water. Daryl and Tee both set the hook on their first offering, and let the good times roll. Tee flipped a small redfish in as Kingery played down a nice trout. Tee’s little red had some grass on its dorsal fin, and when Tee removed it, he revealed the fish’s prized tag. That nondescript little tag represented a first-class bay boat, motor and trailer. Tee had very wisely bitten the bullet and registered long ago. All three anglers were psyched and too wired to do anything but head in to have the catch verified. There were high fives all around! Tee is now the proud owner of a fine bay boat, compliments of CCA (Coastal

“Tee’s little red” won a great big boat, courtesy of CCA.

Jack Boyer with his monster 28-inch trout.

Conservation Assoc.). He promised both anglers a return trip, and he might even let Captain Kingery drive his new boat! The countdown has begun. Football season will kick off in the not too distant future. Athletes will be reporting for summer training camps, and it’s all good. Jack Boyer, representing St. Louis High School, will put on the pads in preparation for his senior year. He’s penciled in at quarterback and can’t wait to get started. Jack has already had a great summer registering some hot saltwater fishing trips. In an effort to make the most of a great thing, he’s fitting in as many leisure trips

as possible before the Saints tee it up for real. He was fishing at last light on a productive afternoon trip to Prien Lake. As the sun set, he was about to make a “last cast call” when a giant trout flushed the commode on his topwater walking bait. A monster 28-inch trout exploding a surface bait is much akin to a quarterback arching a long pass downfield and connecting for a score. Both scenarios have the same effect of putting a smile on your face that will not wipe off. Jack gently released his trophy trout and is on to bigger and better things. This is hardcore football country, with the best die-hard athletic supporters in the world. Fans and players alike look forward to an exciting season. We all appreciate the huge effort and sacrifice athletes like Jack Boyer make each football season. Head coach Mike Johns and staff will see to it their players are well prepared for Friday night lights. Get out and support your favorite teams and athletes. It’s the greatest show in town, and well worth the very reasonable price of admission. Remember to enter the STAR Tournament; it goes to a great cause even if you don’t win. Support our local footballers.

August 1, 2013

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SARRO ON SPORTS

rick sarro

Decision 2013 Sounds like a national news media hype slogan for another make-or-break campaign or election coverage. Hyperbole or not, Decision 2013 is what’s facing McNeese State University and the selection of its next athletic director. It will be the most important personnel decision university president Dr. Phillip Williams will have made since he took over the reins back in 2010. There’s no experienced assistant A.D. waiting in the wings at the Jack Doland Fieldhouse — one who already knows the key figures, the politics, the challenges and history. The next athletic director will come from outside the confines of McNeese, and the job will draw vast interest and candidates from across the country. The athletic director search committee and Dr. Williams can’t afford Tommy to get it wrong. McClelland When former A.D. Tommy Dr. Phillip McClelland accepted the same posiWilliams tion at Louisiana Tech back on July 16, it The job of the search left an important corner office open with committee and Williams in finding a successor to the fall school semester about to com- McClelland, and the importance of mence and a football season just five the hire, can't be overstated. weeks away. The timing and decision of and offer came together at a breakneck McClelland’s departure was like a quick pace (two weeks to be exact) and had left jab. But the powers in charge couldn’t McClelland donning a red and blue have been totally shocked. It was known in Bulldog cap before the ink was dry on certain circles that McClelland had interest McNeese’s various 2013 media guides in the U.L.-Monroe athletic director’s containing his updated bio. position and he let it be known he was on You can’t blame Tommy Mac for the market. The detour to Ruston came pursuing and accepting the Tech job. It’s a into play on June 27 after athletic director great career move to an improving FBS Bruce Van De Velde abruptly resigned school and the state’s second largest public and, according to McClelland, Louisiana university, behind you know who. It Tech came calling. exposes him to the workings of a bigger The Louisiana Tech search, interview conference with national bowl implica-

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tions. And then there’s the salary issue: it’s safe to say it’s nearly triple what McClelland was pulling down at McNeese. He paid some dues as an assistant A.D. at McNeese, and then interim athletic director for a few years, before being named to the position full-time in March, 2008. During those five years, he was tireless in improving McNeese’s football and basketball scheduling against larger FBS teams, and guided numerous facility improvements in baseball, softball and soccer. McClelland also played a role in the hiring of basketball coaches Dave Simmons and Brooks Donald Williams, along with two baseball coaches in Terry Burrows and recently hired head coach Justin Hill. He pushed the right buttons on coaching hires, and to his credit, displayed patience and confidence in both Williams and Simmons during some difficult patches. It takes a bit of fortitude and instinct to stay the course with coaches you believe in as opposed to adopting the win-now-or-

you’re gone philosophy. Those major field house and football stadium improvements were already well underway during McClelland’s tenure, with private fundraising efforts and massive underwriting by local businessman Robert Noland, who funded the new turf at Cowboy Stadium. McClelland was able to increase fundraising for the athletic department amid constant cutbacks in state money that will no doubt continue in some form or fashion. While accepting the Louisiana Tech job, he expressed immense pride in the conference championships won while he was A.D., and the marked improvements in various programs’ academic performance ratings (APR). There are a number of things McClelland can hang his Cowboys hat on when it comes to his legacy as athletic director: a legacy I didn’t think would end as well as it has. It was well documented in this column and on TV shows that I wasn’t a supporter of McClelland as A.D. in 2008. I thought his age, interpersonal skills and lack of direct job experience meant that he wasn’t yet suited for the job at the time. McClelland proved me wrong in some respects. He obviously worked on his weaknesses, built on his strengths and bridged some political gaps to keep the athletic department in the black and in the race against some of the larger, betterfunded Texas-based Southland Conference schools. I recall that after his appointment, then university president Dr. Robert Hebert told me “we would be lucky to keep McClelland for five years” before he was lured away by a larger program. I didn’t think Hebert was that good of a prognosticator. I give credit where credit is due. The job of the search committee and Williams in finding a successor, and the importance of the hire, can’t be overstated. They don’t need to jump in with both feet and rush the process. Associate A.D. and compliance coordinator Bridget Martin is quite capable of manning the fort in the interim while chairing the search committee. The committee’s search must locate, identify and lure the right mix of experience, character, leadership, business acumen, keen understanding of athletics, regional and national contacts, fundraising skills and skills at media and public relations — all packaged in one man or woman. Athletic directors and their role in governing and policymaking has garnered national attention in recent months with the troubles and controversies at much larger schools, such as Rutgers, Penn State, Miami, Oregon and USC. Dealing with the ever-changing NCAA on any level will test the strong-willed. Couple that with conference realignments, shrinking budgets, Title 9, TV contracts, the growing pressure to pay student athletes (an FBS issue) and keeping your players off of police blotters and out of jail.

You tell me how important the A.D. job is to any program of any size. McNeese athletics are at a critical juncture. Despite being in one of the more industrialized regions with one of the strongest rates of economic growth McNeese ranks No. 7 among the current 8 footballplaying schools in terms of athletic revenues. That shortfall can be traced to the fact that McNeese receives the lowest percentage of its athletic budget from student fees of any school in the Southland Conference. And speaking of the SLC, it too has had to deal with the turmoil of recent defections (Texas State and U.T.Arlington) and the ensuing addition of football-playing Houston Baptist, Abilene Christian and Incarnate Word, who will officially join the league’s schedule in 2014. The Southland enlarged its spring sports programs with Oral Roberts, U.T.Corpus Christi and, most recently, the University of New Orleans. Williams will publicly support the Southland Conference’s landscape and the addition of larger markets, such as Houston, San Antonio (Incarnate Word), Tulsa (Oral Roberts) and New Orleans. But there has to be concern that further Texas defections will dilute the power base in football and McNeese will lose worthy rivalries. Athletic facilities in most of the sports on campus have turned the corner and are comparable to their SLC rivals. The costs of scholarships, equipment and travel will continue to increase, along with the pressure to increase game attendance and season ticket sales. It’s no secret football rules the roost and runs the bank. If there’s a significant attendance decline in football Saturday nights at Cowboy Stadium, the overall athletic budget will be thrown out of whack. That’s why those guaranteed money road games against LSU, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, and this year’s season opener at South Florida, are necessary to the bottom line. Average attendance at home football games is not where it needs to be. A 17,000-plus sellout is unrealistic (unless the Cowboys can get U.L.-Lafayette or Southern to travel west), but 13,000 to 14,000 is not. Total gate at men’s basketball is woefully low, and I’m growing tired of the jibber jabber that a “run-down and outdated” Burton Coliseum is the primary reason for the lousy turnout. The pull at Lake Charles Civic Center games isn’t much better. Burton Coliseum isn’t as dingy and decrepit as critics make it out to be. It’s no P-Mac or CajunDome by any means, but it’s a workable basketball arena with good sightlines. It’s guilty of needing some exterior upgrades, and yes, it’s not perfectly located, but what location would be? There’s growing chatter from university officials and supporters that an oncampus basketball arena will solve all attendance woes, and they expect a parting of the Red Sea scenario for a huge influx of students at games. I don’t buy it. Cowboy Stadium is on campus and student attendance for football is woefully low. McNeese is still largely a commuter school, with a healthy percentage of students over 25 years old. You have to trig-

ger fan loyalty (versus LSU), interest (versus LSU) and engage fans enough to lure them off the couch and away from their

MSU has to trigger fan loyalty (versus LSU), interest (versus LSU) and engage fans enough to lure them off the couch and away from their flat screens (versus LSU) and part with their entertainment dollars.

{

flat screens (versus LSU) and part with their entertainment dollars. The new A.D. will have some fencemending to do with legacy large corporate

sponsors, building new relationships with untapped industries and improving strained relations with the hard-working and often under-appreciated booster clubs and certain sectors of the fan base. It comes down to good old-fashioned handshakes, back slapping, listening, faceto-face communication, community involvement and sincere appreciation of the past, present and future. These are a few of the more pressing issues and challenges facing the new athletic director. McNeese has officially posted the position. One of the first applicants will be former Wyoming asst. athletic director Bruce Hemphill. The Sulphur native and former Golden Tor star athlete recently relocated to Southwest Louisiana after a long and successful career in sports admin-

istration. Hemphill has held various administrative posts, beginning at LSU, where he played receiver in the early 1970’s, along with an eight-year stay at North Carolina before his appointment at Wyoming. “The McNeese A.D. job is one that I have coveted for many years and it would be my dream job,” Hemphill told me recently. His strong resume, name equity, local ties and a support base from West Calcasieu will make him an intriguing candidate. He won’t be the only one, though, as Williams and the search committee begin the task that will ultimately anoint the athletic department’s next CEO. One thing is for certain. Change is coming in more ways than one.

August 1, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

CUSTOM BUILT CABINETS AND FINISH CARPENTRY

classified 337-656-2928 ®

GoMinis of SWLA Lake Charles

MOVING? REMODELING? NEED ADDITIONAL STORAGE?

8' X 20' 8' X 16' 8' X 12'

COWBOY'S TOWING & RECOVERY 24-HOUR TOWING 4125 E. HWY 90 • LAKE CHARLES

337-656-2928

For all your interior woodworking needs! . Call Pete Leger 337-515-3272 gp 0202

announcements LC YACHT CLUB JOIN THE LC YACHT CLUB! Sail boats and power boats are welcome, family friendly. Join today! Membership includes on the water clubhouse, sailboats, socials. Call Ship to Shore at 474.0730 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

services FENCING FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

Clean Used Cars Great Condition

GREAT DEALS ON WHEELS 2007 Saturn 4 door, loaded, excellent.......$2995 2001 Ford Taurus loaded, excellent ......$2595 2000 Honda Civic loaded, 4 door...........$3595 1996 Olds Regency loaded, nice ..........$2595 1996 Honda Accord super nice ............$1995 1996 Honda Odyssey EXL loaded ....$2595 2003 Ford Explorer loaded, 3rd row .....$2995 2003 Chevy Trailblazer sharp .............$3995 2003 Ford Windstar Mini Van ...............$1995 2002 Ford F150 loaded, super clean.......$2995 2001 Ford Expedition 3rd row, nice ....$2995 2000 Town & Country Mini Van...........$2595 1999 Chevy Suburban super clean.....$2995 1999 Jeep Cherokee like new, sharp ...$2995 1996 Ford F150 great for work ................$1995

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LAKE CHARLES AUTO PARTS Old Town Rd. & Hwy 171 Lake Charles, LA

439-8899

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Kat’s Kracklins • BBQ Dinners

• Plate Lunches

• Burgers and Po-Boys

• Pork Chop

• Sweet Potato Fries

Sandwiches

• Boudin

529 W. 18th • 494.7460

Info or Estimates: 526.2533 84

LAGNIAPPE

August 1, 2013

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PARTIN JEWELRY REPAIR 34 Years Experience

Located inside Bodin Jewelers 3133 Ernest Street (East of JCPenney) OPEN: Tues-Fri 10-5:30

"Your Honest Hometown Family Owned Repair Shop"

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QUICK SERVICE

We offer fair labor rates, honest diagnosis and service. We don't just want your business, we want to earn it along with your trust. Complete Automotive Repair and Maintenance on cars and light trucks, with specialization on Domestic. Small or Large Repairs and Service.

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• Full Breakfast Menu

All work is done in store by me

NEW TO LAKE CHARLES!

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“The Best In Town”

Jewelry Repair & Custom Jewelry Work

• Oil changes, tire rotations, 15k service, belts, hoses, coolant service, power steering flush,brake flush, light engine repair, tune ups, check engine light on, air conditioning service, disc and drum brakes. • Engine Performance • Engine Repair • Brakes • Steering And Suspension • Manual Drive Train • Heating And AC • Electrical Repair And Diagnosis • DEQ Emissions Safety Inspections • State Inspections

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436-6535 Call anytime 842-9184 Bring in this ad and receive

Rickey Partin

15% OFF

any repair work!

KNOX FENCE Don’t blend in, make your home stand out with a customized fence. Choose your own design or one of ours. We also do chainlink, ornamental, aluminum and iron fencing. Can install electric or solar gate operators. Call for a free estimate. Licensed and insured, 20+ years of experience. Ask for Steve at 337.540.6973

DOMESTIC AND COMMERCIAL HELP

announcements

We do cleaning and run errands, i.e. grocery shopping, doctor's visits. etc. Insured & Bonded

433-2867 302-2949 g0613

services ELECTRICIAN SEAWARD ELECTRIC, LLC-Licensed, bonded, and insured. "Our prices won't shock you, but our quality will" Call 337249-6443 k0906 _________________

DJ SERVICE

services

N O N - S T O P MUSIQUE- DJ for weddings, birthdays, clubs, reunions. New Year's and Mardi Gras parties, large or small venue. Old/new school, R&B, rap, blues, zydeco, and karaoke, ADJA certified, competitive rates. Call Ron at 337-3091412 k1004

UPHOLSTERY BOAT UPHOLSTERY and top repairs, motorcycles, convertible and more. AAA Glass & Upholstery, 1810 E. Prien Lake Road or CALL 337-564-4125 k0816

announcements

pets DOG GROOMING NOW AVAILABLE AT BARK PARK Two professional groomers are here to serve you. Boarding and day care are also available. Ask about our other wonderful services to pamper your pooch . Located at 4121 Nelson Rd. or call 478-4300 k0816

HAIR SALON COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0906 _________________

services BOAT & RV STORAGE SHEAR PAWFECTION PET GROOMING 2924 Summer Place Drive, Sulphur, off Houston River Road, call 337-528-5910. Appointment only. "Where All The Pampered Pets Go!"

GET REULTS

LANDSCAPING

services CONTRACTORS

Gaspard's Cleaning

services

BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

services

ADVERTISE NOW IN LAGNIAPPE CLASSIFIEDS .. 433-8502 _________________

k0621

BOAT & RV STORAGE

announcements

BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

stuff 4 sale

J O S E P H ’ S LIMESTONE Limestone or Calbase $160 for 2 tons; $250 for 4 tons; and $350 for 6 tons. Also 4 yards of sand or topsoil for only $125, or 14 tons of bottom ash for $300. Ponds dug and excavation work completed. We do dozer, tractor, and concrete work as well as house pads, culvert installation and even demolition. Best prices, hauling available every single day. Free estimates! Call 437.1143. n0816

announcements RV PARK/LAKE SPRING IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER, that means camping season in SWLA! 25 minutes north of Lake Charles, Longville Lake Park110 acre scenic stocked pond with boat launch. Full RV hookups available. Call or come by for your campground reservations! 337-725-3395 7115 Hwy 110 East, Longville, LA. k1220

_________________

services A/C & HEATING CONTACT ALL SEASONS AIR & HEAT in Lake Charles. We offer sales and service for all makes and models of heaters and air conditioners. Our team of contractors provides residential and commercial heating and cooling services. Call today! 337855-1446 k1220

_________________

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

FALL LANDSCAPE PACKAGES for every budget! We use state of the art software to show you what your landscape can look like. $100 OFF any new landscape project when you mention Lagniappe! SWLA Lawn and Landscape Licensed, Bonded, Insured 337-625-5625 K1018

services

stuff 4 sale

announcements

LAWN & GARDEN

SALVAGE

RESTAURANT LOCATION!

S&S LAWN CARE for your mowing and trimming needs call David at 337-884-0342 or 337-588-4000 k0517 _________________

OVERKILL SALVAGE

services

Call Today! 337-309-7301

FENCING FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

_________________

announcements

services

RETAIL / OFFICE

HOME REPAIR

RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Castle Real Estate today for details! 337-480-6555 ph _________________

ALL TYPES OF ROOFING, siding, mobile home skirting, licensed and bonded. Call Jimmy today at 337-499-7807. ph _________________

services CONTRACTORS HOUSE LEVELING, HOUSE LIFTING. CALL ONE STOP CONSTRUCTION. Sill and truss replacement, foundation repair, general remodeling, etc. References available, free estimates, licensed and insured. All work is warrantied. Call us at 337-309-7301. k0920 _________________

stuff 4 sale TRAILERS

Trailers Aluminum, Steel, Horse, Stock Motorcycle, Cargo, Gooseneck, Bumper, Lowboy, Equipment

Mark Pedersen Equipment Co. 337-436-2497 an

LAWN SERVICE S & S Lawn Service ~ For mowing and trimming, and all your lawn and garden needs; both commercial and residential. We are licensed and insured, and welcome free estimates. For a yard your neighbors will envy, call David at 884.0342 or 588.4000 k1018 _________________

WOW! 2004 HARLEY DAVIDSON SOFTAIL FATBOY 9000 miles, garage kept, lots of custom and chrome, only $8500. CALL 337302-0016 _________________ PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

k0920

ELECTRONIC E X C A L I B U R INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY Systems-"If it's electronic, I can fix it"Excellent service at an exceptional cost. Full on-site services for all your technology needs! Excalibur ITS.com or call Ivan at 337-912-1490 k1220 _________________

Southwest SW Manufactured HOMES & RV'S Housing, Inc. NEW • USED • REPOS • SALES & SERVICE

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www.swhomeslc.com 436-5593

services LAWN & GARDEN HINTON AND MOSS LAWN SERVICELicensed, bonded, and insured. Residential and commercial. Free estimates, call 337515-5255 k1004 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Demolition, Crane Work, Debris Hauling. Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881

PERSONAL TRAINING Erick FranklinHead Trainer at The Gym. Offering customized workout plans for Jr. High to College aged athletes looking to improve. Strength & Conditioning, Wide Receiver Training, Agility & Conditioning classes available, including many more! AFFORDABLE RATES. 337-660-5717

g0502-2012

k0816

services

"If it's sunk, we can get it up!"

VERY HIGH TRAFFIC LOCATION ON HWY 171 IN MOSS BLUFF! Adjacent to Bronco Stop. Full kitchen, dining area, tables, drink machines & more. Call Wali today and open your dream restaurant! 337-244-4423 gp _________________

services

HEAVY CONSTRUCTION EQUIPMENT COMPANY NEEDS SERVICE TECHNICIANS AND MANAGER ASSISTANT IMMEDIATELY. GOOD BENEFITS AND COMPETITIVE WAGES.

Start an Exciting Career in Emergency Communications Entry Level $24,900 year w/benefits Apply at 911 Hodges Street, 2nd floor. Equal Opportunity Employer

FAX REUME TO 337-433-6623 August 1, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

UTEC

Utility Truck & Equipment Co. Boat Trailer Axles & Springs • Flat Beds Service Bodies • Truck Cranes • Tool Boxes Fabrication • Big Truck P&B We're At Your Service! 24-Hour Road Service 1432 BROAD ST • 433-5361

services

announcements

MISC. SERVICES

HAIR SALON

Sell that Junk Car for Cash! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed. Call now at 526.9533. k1018

COUNTRY CLUB HAIR - Where a haircut still comes with a lollipop and a smile. Over 25 years in business. Walk-ins welcome. Located on 1214 Country Club Rd. Open Tuesday-Friday 8:30-5:30, Saturdays 8am-2pm. Call 4744722 k0816 _________________

CABINET SHOP Custom Countertops Affordable Pricing Professional Custom Woodwork Entire Lake Charles Area

302-6903 PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

DOWN ON THE BAYOU

RARE COINS Gold & Silver Coins Currency Mint & Proof Sets All Coins Graded w/Photograde I BUY COLLECTIONS

GREAT NEIGHBORHOOD $37,500 PER ACRE OR MAKE OFFER

KEMBLE GUILLORY CALL 802-5402

SOUTH LAKE CHARLES 478-2386 884-2386

PLACE YOUR AD CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

services FENCING

NEW! CUSTOM

3 ACRES ELEVATED LAND

FENCEMAKERS We build chainlink, barbed, privacy, electric, net, wooden, and security fences, free estimates. Call David today at 337-375-4747. k0920 _________________

Tree Removal, Stump Grinding, Land Clearing, Bonded. Insured. License AR 1604 337-884-6881 g0502-2012

real estate MOBILE HOMES

services PLUMBING RAPHAEL BENOIT CUSTOM HOME BUILDERS - Home improvements, Remodeling & Additions. New Home Construction. Serving SWLA since 1993. Call Raphael Benoit at 337-802-6522 k0816 _________________

MOBILE HOME TO BE MOVED. 3/2, BO over $8,000. Camper for rent. All bills paid. 2 acre lot south of Lake Charles. 477-6243 or 564-5859 gpnmr _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE AND START GETTING RESULTS! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY class@thelanyap.com _________________

PAPER HEROES Buying U.S. Coins & Currency

Gold, Silver, Coins & Sets

MAGIC THE GATHERING TOURNAMENTS HELD WEEKLY

services CONSTRUCTION

BOUCHER & SON'S CONSTRUCTION ~ YOU’VE FOUND THE RIGHT COMPANY! Give us call for all your construction, carpentry, painting, and damage repairs. Licensed, Bonded, and Insured. Member of the Better Business Bureau. Give Tom a call at 337-474-2844 (office) or 337-842-1455 (cell) AND SEE HOW AFFORDABLE UPGRADING YOUR HOME CAN BE! 474.2844. k0313 _________________

real estate CORPORATE LEASE Approx 3500 sf, 4BR, 3 BA, minutes from beach, L'Auberge and boat launch. Fully furnished, turnkey, large patio, bbq pit, fenced yard, $2750 per month. 713-829-2974, ask for Ron Wiggins.

478-2143 3941 Ryan Street, Lake Charles

_________________

Larry A. Roach, Inc. A PROFESSIONAL LAW CORPORATION

Accidents • Wrongful Death Serious Personal Injury Criminal, Domestic Law Cases

k1220

Laundry W rld Larry A. Roach (1932-2003) Barry A. Roach • Larry A. Roach, Jr. Fred C. "Bubba" LeBleu • David M. Hudson

2917 Ryan St. • Lake Charles (337) 433-8504 • Fax (337) 433-3196 86

LAGNIAPPE

August 1, 2013

Do Your Laundry in 4 Minutes! 2 minutes to drop off 2 minutes to pick up 4319 Common St. • 474-8748 2501 Hwy 14 • 433-7503

Professional Wash, Dry, Fold/Hang Service Dry Cleaning Available PUT US TO WORK FOR YOU TODAY!

announcements WE WILL BUY! SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

services AUTO REPAIR

YOUR SOURCE LAWN & GARDEN TIRES 477-9850 478-6565 527-6355 "People you trust, products you depend on"

announcements

services

RETAIL / OFFICE RETAIL OR OFFICE SPACE FOR LEASE. "Single or double available. Includes conference room usage, kitchen, 2 handicap accessible bathrooms, parking in front and behind building. 154 W. McNeese. Call Castle Real Estate today for details! 337-480-6555 ph _________________

announcements NEW PRODUCTS NEW PRODUCT OR INVENTION? Have 20 connections in China and Vietnam for manufacture of new products. Let us know what you have or need. Call Bryan or Ron today 1-800-634-5816. ph _________________

KNOX FENCE FLIGHT TRAINING! VISION AVIATION, LLC; LICENSED INSTRUCTOR(S). Fly to new heights with our one of a kind “Discovery Flight” to see the sights for only $65! Makes a unique and adventurous gift. Gift Certificates available now. Call and reserve your fun at 478.7722. k2013apr

Don’t blend in, make your home stand out with a customized fence. Choose your own design or one of ours. We also do chainlink, ornamental, aluminum and iron fencing. Can install electric or solar gate operators. Call for a free estimate. Licensed and insured, 20+ years of experience. Ask for Steve at 337.540.6973 k0621

JUNK CARS SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________ PLACE YOUR AD HERE! CALL KENNY AT 433-8502 TODAY! class@thelanyap.com _________________

classified FULL-TIME SATELLITE TECHNICIANS NEEDED for well-established company. Paid training, $500 sign on bonus, paid weekly. Call Josh @ 888-959-9675 or submit resume to careers@satcountry.com

services DOORS WHY PAY MORE FOR DOORS 800 instock Doors Windows & More. 489-4313 csta15 _________________

FINANCING AVAILABLE! 2002 Pewter, 3rd row, runs great, financing available! 2003 CHEVY MAZDASUBURBAN TRIBUTE Black, runs great, financing available! 1999 Silver, come come see it,see financing available, call Luke 302-2912 2006 GMC FORDYUKON ESCAPE Pewter, it, financing available, call Papania Luke 302-2912! 2002 626MARINER Come drive it! 2005 MAZDA MERCURY Come drive it! 2002 SUBURBAN 165k, comereal drive it today! 2008 CHEVY HYUNDAI SANTA FEGrey, White, leather, nice, come drive it today!

Cash for Junk Cars Need Extra Cash? WE ARE NOW BUYING CARS • TRUCKS VANS • ATV’S • MOTORCYCLES

services BOAT & RV STORAGE BOAT & RV STORAGE - 6102 COMMON STREET. SECURED STORAGE! Call 337564-5377 cr _________________

Also Motor Homes, Trailers and Farm Equipment. Not running? You can still make $400 and up! Get your yard cleaned up while deciding how you’ll spend your extra money!

announcements

CALL 526-9533

WE WILL BUY!

classified k0621

These & more quality vehicles... call Luke Papania today at 302-2912! 803 E. McNeese • 337-562-9211

SELL THAT JUNK CAR FOR CASH! I will buy your junk car, truck, van, motor home, or trailer. I also buy ATV’s, motorcycles, and even farm equipment. Even if it’s not running, you can make from $400 to $600. Clean your yard up, and decide what you’ll spend your extra money on! HELP WANTED Experienced mechanic needed.Call now at 526.9533. k1018 _________________

announcements

HWY 90 CONSIGNMENT STORAGE Cars • Trucks • Boats • RV's Mobile Homes • Vans Safe and Secure Storage forThose Big Items in Your Way! CONSIGNMENT: Your items can be put up for consignment to make that extra money when you decide you no longer need storage for you item. Good prices, and large customer base to purchase any items you store with us.

Call now and make some room OR some cash for your items: 337.526.2533 August 1, 2013

LAGNIAPPE

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LAGNIAPPE 89

Amazing Grace She’s on my mind tonight — she being the old song — just notes on a piano, no singing, no need. If there is a more powerful song in the history of all songs, I don’t know of it. “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.” Is it that line? Is it that somewhere in the cycle of ups and downs during any given year, we feel like wretches, and therefore unworthy? Is it that this one line gets the needle in the main vein of Christianity; that we need saving … that we can’t earn saving … that only the gift of Amazing Grace saves … and that every once in a while we’re ripe to feel how vulnerable we really are? If you were writing this you might be picturing a great cathedral of a building, some great choir, stained glass and some maestro on a grand piano, and “Amazing Grace” would still be bigger than the setting. But I’m writing this, and my mind is in a little country church, gravel parking lot. First folks there park under the oak tree. Old pews that were passed down decades ago from a bigger church, and now you’re sitting in grandma’s spot on the family pew. When she passed, nobody dared sit there for a few Sundays, but one day it just felt right for you to hold the place. The lady playing the piano is a second grade teacher. She’s never had formal lessons, just plays by ear, and she misses a note every once in a while. But she’s dependable, and cuts her little getaways short to make sure she’s on duty on Sunday mornings. The congregation is small. Leaning towards the older end of life. Lot of farmers. A loan officer at the little bank. Teachers. Manager at the Western Auto. When it’s time for songs, the preacher says “Let’s make a joyful noise unto the Lord,” and it’s part of the inside joke of the congregation, as if that verse was meant for little churches like this, where talent is a little thin on the vocal end. “I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see.” Is it that line? Who among us has not been lost? Lost trust, lost hope, lost clarity, lost confidence, lost our foundation? Or seeing, yet knowing that you’re not seeing it All, or seeing Enough, or seeing it Clear or seeing it Right or seeing Too Many Trees and Not Enough Forest?

One of my most precious memories of my mother was her singing “Amazing Grace.” Her father died, and off we went to Alabama for the funeral. I was old enough, but not old enough … death was still a little to the edge of my emotional radar. At that age, I mostly took cues from the adults around me. I knew that this was Big and Sad, but I didn’t feel it, yet. My grandmother’s home was filled with strangers and casseroles. On the day of the funeral I was starting to get It. My mother and her siblings were tense with emotions, making small talk over breakfast, everybody trying to keep the cork pressed tight over the tear spigot. The men went off that morning to wash the cars. Seemed important, I guess. Not long after we were seated in the bereaved section at the funeral home. I hated the layout. They had the family set apart, like a choir sits apart, with their face to the congregation. They had one of those sliding wall partitions. The family was seated and the mourners start filling up the chairs. And then Mom excused herself. She was gone a few minutes and I asked my father where she had gone and he didn’t know either. And then on the other side of that partition I heard the first note of “Amazing Grace” and I knew it was her. Mom was impulsive and oooh the times this trait embarrassed us to no end. It was a strong trait, and as with all traits, when it’s wrong, it’s Very Wrong, but man-o-man, when it’s right, it’s Very Right. She just got up and went to find a piano, like someone would go off looking for help. She’d found it, on the other side of that partition. We couldn’t see her. Was her lower lip trembling? Were tears running?

I don’t know. She ran through the intro and didn’t sing a word. Maybe that was a clue. And now here comes the intro again, and POW — it’s my mother’s voice saying “Amazing Grace,” saying it to her father in the casket and her Father in heaven, not performing, not entertaining, but bleeding out the words of “Amazing Grace.” We’re small and unworthy. We’re dirty and undeserving of the cost of the bath. We offend You and offend You and offend You and then one day we see and in seeing we kneel and in kneeling we open and in opening we ask, ask You for Amazing Grace. Mom had no microphone over there on the other side of the partition. Oh, but we could hear her. She pushed some air through that wall. Part of the power of it was that we — and so many of the mourners did not know my mother — we knew that there was a certain-someone singing, but not being able to see her, left it all up to the imagination of each of us. To sing “Amazing Grace” is one thing. To feel “Amazing Grace” is another. To sing and feel “Amazing Grace” at the goodbye moment between daughter and father, her handing off her father to the good hands of her Father and feeling hope, because that’s what Christianity is, it’s hope, man … even all these decades “I once was lost but later, just writing this … it remains one of the most pownow am found, was erful emotional moments I’ve blind but now I see.” ever been gifted with knowing. “When we’ve been there Is it that line? Who 10,000 years, bright shining among us has not as the sun, we’ve no less days been lost? Lost trust, to sing His praise than when we’ve first begun.” lost hope, lost clarity, I think about heaven a lost confidence, lost lot. Sometimes I’m silly and our foundation? playful about it: like worrying that it’ll only be I Love Lucy and the Andy Griffith Show Up There, and I won’t be able to watch The Godfather, or Pulp Fiction or The Outlaw Josey Wales because they won’t be rated H, for Heaven. And sometimes, I ain’t kidding here, but I wonder if I’ll get bored in heaven. Like: is it like church, church, church, like forever? Are we really gonna sing hymns for eternity? But, there’s this one song that I really, I mean, REALLY, REALLY, want to hear sung in heaven. It’ll just be all of us. No angels — they’re disqualified from “Amazing Grace.” It’s all of us, forgiven for stealing a pack of Dentyne and forgiven for murders, forgiven squanderers of time, talent and opportunity, we who could’ve been better, nicer, more of more and less of less, and we’ll be up there and He will be up there, the source of grace, the payer of debts, the Always and Evermore, and we’ll raise our voices, all we no-telling-how-many and we’ll make a joyful noise of “Amazing Grace” and it will be loud and pure and true. That; that, folks, will be the Song of Songs, the Performance of all Eternity. I bet I’ll be able to pick Mom’s voice out of the crowd.

This edition of Uncle P’s Bedtime Stories is brought to you by Eightyone, where we’re especially proud of Uncle P’s line, “My grandmother’s home was filled with strangers and casseroles.” Uncle P can be reached at 81creativity@gmail.com.

August 1, 2013

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