GNI Mag Issue 14 - WHO SAYS SIZE DOESN'T MATTER?

GNI your local gay mag Issue 14 | Dec 14/Jan 15 | £3.95 / €4.95

Tinseltown’s Conleth Kane The Kitsch Bitch & her sharp tongue Real life local Civil Partnership Domestic Abuse and how to cope THe many faces of charlie hides DEBT - HOW TO AVOID IT SJ Wilson’s guilty pleasures

ROBERT BROWN

CIRCUIT 21

+

Tony Webster

FASHION Bigbad llama

The award winning gay mag that’s just gotten bigger - who says size doesn’t matter?

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EDITOR

Well, what a year 2014 has been for GNI Mag and our team. We’ve gone from strength to strength and learned a lot, and as 2015 approaches we’ve decided to go BIG! Yes, as you can see, this issue is bigger than ever before… you might even say we’ve grown up a bit. We are now sitting proudly on the shelves with the other gay mags, making it easier for many of you to get your hands on us (wink wink).

This year we’ve welcomed some new GNI columnists: Blast 106 Radio presenter SJ Wilson shares his straight guy opinions; Editor of Eile Magazine Scott De Buitléir writes our Seriously Tho feature; Bliain Fitzpatrick is our new man about town; Tom Vonier talks about issues that are impor tant to him; and Alicia Perry opens up about her life. This year we’ve also had to bid a fond farewell to Gemma Hutton. Gemma was with us from the beginning and we thank her for keeping us enter tained for so long.

This issue is not only bigger – it’s fuller too. We’ve managed to squeeze in heaps of good content. Despite all the changes, our aim is the same as it’s always been: to provide a quality, down-to-ear th lifestyle magazine that everyone in our local “community” can enjoy.

The lovely Rober t Brown graces the cover of our first full size issue. Inside we talk to him about being a bear, Circuit 21, and his latest single. YouTube legend Charlie Hides chats about his hilarious impersonations, and our very own Conleth Kane lets us in on all the things he’s been getting up to this festive season.

As it’s that time of the year, we have of course included some Christmassy things; you’ll find a great gift guide, some tips about how to keep your finances in the black, and some interesting facts about the big man in red.

Anyhows, read on and enjoy…

Tony

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E CR

Editor: Tony Day Sub-Editor: Beth Evans Fashion Editor: Tony Webster Kitsch Bitch: Trudy Scrumptious Dating: Greg McCaw Seriously Tho: Scott De Buitleir Comedy: Jordan & Diona Straight Guy: SJ Wilson Bliain’s World: Bliain Fitzpatrick Tom Talks: Tom Vonier Alicia: Alicia Perry Travel: Fred Scott Positive Life: Paul Norman Cara Friend: Patrick Anderson Recommends: Conleth Kane Get the Look: Lewis Cameron

Special thanks to: Cover photo: Simon Crawford.

Peter Massera at Exchange Events.

Rober t Brown & Circuit 21, Conleth Kane, Charlie Hides, Malachai O’Hara, Kremlin Associates, Lifeline, Donnelly Group, Debt Action NI, McLernon Moynagh Solicitors, Strand Cinema Belfast.

page 6 | gnimag.com

Publisher Contact: Lamb Promotions Ltd 145 Holywood Road Belfast, BT4 3BE Tel: +44 (0) 28 9065 4314 Email: tony@lambpromotions.com Adver tising: Eamann MacManais Accounts: Fred Scott

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All submissions to GNI are made on the basis of permission to publish the submission in GNI and its licensed editions worldwide.

In the case of a picture selection, the editor’s decision is final. Any material sent is at the owner’s risk and although every care is taken neither Lamb Promotions or its agents shall be liable for loss or damage. We take great care to make sure all elements of GNI are accurate. However we accept no liabilty for any misprints that appear in this magazine. You should seek professional advice prior to following any advice offered in this publication.

Lamb Promotions Ltd 2014

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page 8 | gnimag.com

AUGUST

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n; ars in priso p to three ye shable by u al and puni nd it y was illeg lled Susan a sexual activ n couple ca le same-sex ture a lesbia eviously, ma ’ would fea n Cyprus. Pr Luck Charlie : Same-sex in Nor ther alised. me, ‘Good January 27 riminalised s not cr imin on program es are exuple. it y was dec activit y wa ren’s televisi sex marr iag same-sex co sexual activ ea m sex sexual re sa e of its child male sameork to fea tu t an episod nd the firs t however, fe ounced tha arch 12th, a rgeted net w n a M n o t ted homo: Disney an on a child-t Royal Assen for ‘aggrava January 28 me the firs t TV show bill received n sentences eca tland. The harsh priso Cher yl. It b assed in Sco allowed for e bill was p ni. The bill ve se . u 14 M t 20 sex marr iag en er id es es t wishes : The samest Decemb signed by Pr versary: “B February 4 place in Scotland on 31 ct 2014 was s 40 th anni ke sexualit y A beth II on it pec ted to ta Anti Homo sexualit y’.

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April 10: G 14 20 par tner Lau g in the UK 2012. on 13th June marr ied his rch weddin New York in Pember ton have a chu a took place y lt to a M d in favour anon Jerem e-sex couple civil union in e MLAs vote April 12: C the firs t sam s Act 2014. The firs t s. For ty-thre of England. en became gender.

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May 10: Th e Stonewall sta te of Ore lvania. ruce Moa ts legal in US honour of th s par tner B sy ge became gon, and hi a te of Penn e Month’ in ia st id rr S Pr U BT me-sex ma me legal in na tional ‘LG s a e n May 19: Sa Ju rr iage beca to be me-sex ma a proclaimed y pride parade. n countr ies ois.

May 20: Sa esident B arack Obam ga -four foreig sta te of Illin s’ firs t-ever l in the US ns in twenty S Pr ecame lega g gay Bri to May 30: U hed in Cypru b in rc e w g llo ia ousands ma e-sex marr into force, a May 31: Th 2014 came er 2013, sam er l there th Novemb n Law Ord ecome lega azine. passed on 20 arr iages Under Foreig rr iage will b f Time Mag wing a law M me-sex ma ont cover o Sa fr . e June 1: Follo nsular Marr iages and tured on th Luxembourg Co n to be fea Depu ties in se.

June 3: The ender per so la tes. hamber of t in his dioce nder Bri tish same-sex t-ever transg was enacted by the C Bri tish consu g as a pries lia u marr ied in ame the firs iage om work in ied in Austra rne Cox bec e-sex marr m s banned fr to be marr June 9: Lave isla tion of sa in April, wa firs t couple e bill for leg his par tner became the June 18: Th ho marr ied w n sh ci tizens, ry 2015. ay clergyma stralian/Bri ti on 1s t Janua er ton, the g oth dual Au remy Pemb Sydney. ter Fraser, b June 22: Je consula te in son and Pe rdon Steven a t the Bri tish June 27: Go ere marr ied ws. They w marr iage la

JUNE

APRIL

JANUARY MAY

FEBRUARY MARCH

gnimag.com | page 9

Round Up 2014: Le t’s See How Far W e’ve Come A select ion of this year’s LGBT news stories (so far!)

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Dear Ms Bitch, I’ve put on a bi t of with Christmas weight recently and I know just around th e corner it’s on gonna get wor ly se. I love choc olate too muc and I know m h y mum will ge t me loads of tion boxes. H selecow can I resis t the chocolat not turn into a e and Santa imperson ator?

James, Limerick James, my fuller figured friend, cu rves are for roun abouts – not ho dmosexuals! As Saint Oprah on said, “I like to ea ce t my emotions”, but then again allowed to; she’s she’s famous. As for you: melt down all those Christm as chocolates int o one large blu object and bate nt anyone who tri es to feed you! also counts as a It workout! page 12 | gnimag.com

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CIRCUIT 21 GNI MEETS ROBERT BROWN

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If you don’t know Robert Brown you might recognise him as one quarter of brilliant gay dance group, Bearforce 1, and as the musically gifted man behind Circuit21. Or, perhaps you’ve seen him at Bubu, the monthly bear night he runs in The Shoe Factory in Belfast. For those of you who haven’t yet had the pleasure, take it from us, he’s a positively charming and incredibly talented chap. We caught up with him for a chat.

Here’s what he had to say...

Which one of your songs is your favourite and why?

Wow! Star t with a biggie! Off the album or in general? On my for thcoming album, ‘Eventually’, there’s a track called ‘I See Light (We Are Analogue)’ which stands out strong with repeated plays. In general there are too many to mention!

Bowie’s ‘Warszawa’ is astounding and atmospheric; Gary Numan’s ‘Are Friends Electric’ and ‘Pure’ are classics for me; and absolutely ANYTHING by Kate Bush!

Do you prefer being in the studio or on stage?

I honestly love being in the studio. I record in Cloud 9 studios on Queen St in Belfast. It’s an incredible process to mould and manipulate sound that I primarily hear in my head to begin with! I work with Graeme Laver ty who’s an extraordinary engineer AND musician and he manages to steer me where I want to go. On stage is a completely different animal! Nothing beats performing my own songs and actually connecting with people. So I’m 50/50 on that one!

With Bearforce 1 where was your favourite place to play?

Bearforce1 was a total blast! We

played many places that were fabulous, but I think Madonna’s Sticky and Sweet After-par ty in Zurich was special! Madge wasn’t there of course, but what a night! And Bearforce1 hasn’t finished! We’re hoping to represent Switzerland for next year’s Eurovision!!

What is being a ‘Bear’ all about?

For me, personally, it’s not always about how a guy looks. ‘Bear’ is more a state of mind! It celebrates

‘Bear’ is more a state of mind! It celebrates everything that is ‘Man’. everything that is ‘Man’. It’s all inclusive of size and shape and irrelevant whether a guy has a beard or not! It is not ageist and, for me, it celebrates ruggedness in all men!

What do you think of the gay scene in Belfast?

For such a small city the gay scene here is always constantly changing!

Although homophobia is still rife, hand in hand with sectarianism, it seems to get filtered out of the gay scene, which is fantastic! I think the Kremlin is the Mothership, but there are some other interesting venues and nights happening out there, like Hotel/Motel, BUBU and Bitch Please that cater to a specific section of the gay community. Surely that can only be a good thing?

What are your passions/influences/favourite things?

My passion is music! And really beautiful clothes! I love writing and recording music and vocals. I always leave a studio feeling like I’ve actually achieved something, like I’ve pushed

myself a little fur ther than I thought I could go. And Alexander McQueen was a total crazy genius. Beautifully constructed and perfectly made clothes are a thing of beauty! I’d also jump at the chance to browse through the Chanel Archives! My influences? WOW! I’m going to have to edit these! Joni Mitchell, Gary Numan, Kate Bush, Vangelis, Kraftwerk, Patrick Cowley, David Bowie, Amon Tobin, really the list is endless! As I get older I realise I am the product of my upbringing. I was a musical litmus as a child and am blessed with being surrounded by fantastic music all of the time! My favourite things are good food and gadgets that work and are well designed i.e. Deanes, James St South, Ox, and Apple make me happy!

And Halloween and Xmas are my 2 favourite times of the year! Even though Xmas is wildly commercial and the pressure to buy is tangible come December 20th, there always comes a time in the year when there is a definite buzz in the air, like you can actually taste and smell Xmas!

Do you have a motto?

Every old sock meets an old shoe.

Simples!

Who is your hero?

I’m not sure I have a hero in the true sense, but musically Kate Bush is the bomb! Her vision to write songs and to create a totally new soundscape for each is overwhelming to me!

And it influences me in how I approach songwriting now. I’d love to have a conversation with Kraftwerk, maybe then I’d have true heroes!

What are your hopes and plans for the future?

Well my project Circuit21 has just released ‘Calling All Angels’ on iTunes, so I’d be over the moon if that did well. The album is called ‘Eventually’... and it’s scheduled for release early February 2015. I’m so excited about that and also about the Bearforce1 Eurovision song for Switzerland (Action Man). It would be a dream come true if that happened. I’m also about to star t the Xmas run in the Cabaret Supper Club in Belfast, which is hard going but an incredible experience! And, of course, I can’t wait to star t writing for the difficult second album!!

HAPPY XMAS TO EVERYONE AT GNI! X

Do you have a nickname?

I’m not gonna tell you my nicknames and believe me there have been many!! Ok then! Square Head!

Thanks to my Sister when I was a child!

Who was your 1st ever Crush?

My first ever memorable crush was an actor called Mark Harmon who actually still looks in pretty good shape even now! I moved on to Bur t Reynolds post-Playgirl centrefold, which explains my fixation with tall men with black beards!!!!

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ONE - For the Cynic/Realist (depending on how you look at it): Give the gift of a beautifully handcrafted anti-Christmas Christmas card.

Merry Capitalist Christmas Card, £3, Donald’s Den, etsy.com/uk/shop/DonaldsDen TWO - For the Ballsy Fairy: As many of you know, it takes balls to be a fairy.

Why not tell the world with this delicious tee brought to you by dynamic artistic duo, Adrian+Shane.

‘It Takes Ball To Be A Fairy’ T shirt, €33, adrianandshane.com THREE - For the Discerning Hot Beverage Drinker: A subtle reference to the world’s favourite swear word. If you don’t deserve one, we all know someone that does!

UNT Mug with Black Handle, £9.99, consideritdesign.com

and USB recording stick. Every self-respecting music snob prefers vinyl.

Portable Record Player (also available in red and brown), £89, iloveretro.co.uk SIX - For the Beardless Wonder: If you are unlucky enough to know someone who doesn’t have a beard, give them some hope this Christmas. Beard Head products make the beardless appear bearded, and help keep smooth faces toasty warm.

Barbarian Roadie: £34.99, beardhead.co.uk SEVEN - For the Very Kitschy Lady: Say it loud and say it proud with this chunky, funky, kitschy necklace.

HOORAY FOR GAY Handmade Hot Pink Laser Cut Perspex Necklace, £9.16, Kitsch Bitch Jewellery, etsty.com/uk/shopkitschbitchjewellery

FOUR - For the Lazy Lodger: This charming set of Mr Teatowels is the thinly veiled kick up the backside every slovenly housemate needs.

Mr Teatowels, £20 for a set of two/£10.95 each, teeandtoast.com

EIGHT - For the Big Gamer: What is it people say nowadays? “Go big or go home”? It doesn’t get much bigger than this.

Encourage your big gamer friend to get some fresh air by giving them this Giant Tumble Tower garden game. Let the Big Fun ensue! Sometimes size does matter.

Giant Tumble Tower Pine, £55, ubergames.co.uk

FIVE - For the Music Connoisseur: This briefcase styled turntable features a built-in twin stereo speaker and comes with power supply

NINE - For the Liquor Lover: Watch their face light up when they clap eyes on this handcrafted bottle of Jack lamp. Other bottles

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available.

Jack Daniels Lamp £30, iluvlamp.co.uk TEN - For the Old School Geek: If your favourite geek is a tad nostalgic, spruce up their computer desk with a beautiful, retro steampunk style silver and wood handcrafted keyboard.

Company name/initials can be included on request.

Handcrafted Steampunk Keyboard in Silver and Wood, £90, Hanna Steampunk Creations, etsy.com/uk/shop/HannaLTD ELEVEN - For your ‘Lobster’: Lobster = one true love. Show your sweetheart just how much you care with this romantic print.

This gift says ‘I Will Always Love You’, ‘You Are The Sunshine of My Life’, or ‘I Like You So Much Better When You’re Naked’, depending on what your song happens to be.

‘Our Song’ Personalised Print, £25, thedriftingbear.com TWELVE - For the Person Who Has Everything: Voted ‘The World’s Ugliest Animal’ in September 2013, the blobfish might look like a melted scoop of strawberry ice cream with the down-turned mouth of a sad clown, but he’s still cute, isn’t he? He has a certain ugly charm, and he’s crying out for a hug.

Stuffed Blobfish, £19.99, firebox.com

CHARLIE HIDES the man with many faces

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GNI talks to YouTube star and master impersonator, Charlie Hides.

were out to lunch with family, enjoying the day off…. I discretely peeked at my phone under the table to see how the latest video was doing and throughout lunch the numbers kept growing and growing. I thought something was wrong with the YouTube view counter… it was very exciting to start getting messages from all over the world.

That summer I started hearing from friends in Boston, New York and LA that gay clubs were showing my videos on the big screens and all their friends were quoting the lines from my videos.

Where are you from originally, and how does it compare to London?

I’m from Boston Massachusetts. It’s a much smaller city, very charming and liberal as it’s the home of so many Universities and colleges. It was a great place to grow up but a bit too provincial, which is why I moved to London.

When did you first dress up in drag?

I was in high school and my best friend Chris told me that we could get into the gay bars if we dressed in drag as the security never asked drag queens for I.D, and drag would make us look older. We still lived at home with our parents so we’d sneak out at night, get changed in the car on the way to the clubs then change back again on the way home…

When did you first realise you had a knack for impersonating people?

From a very early age I was impersonating my teachers and classmates and doing impressions of celebs I saw on TV. At first it was just doing voices. When I star ted doing Stand up comedy I’d incorporate some celeb vocal impersonations into my act.

The first celebrity I was ever paid to impersonate was Joan Rivers for a big Vegas style revue with Show girls in rhinestone Gstrings and feather headdresses etc. It was a big spectacular with a large budget. I kept adding new impersonations into the show and ended up doing about 12 costumes changes every night.

When did you start making and uploading YouTube videos?

I started making comedy videos with my friend Brian back in Boston 20 years ago, with a camera the size of a microwave oven… when I moved to England I star ted playing shor t comedy videos in my live show while I did costume changes. In March of 2011 I launched my YouTube channel so that my friends and family back in the States could see them too.

When did you start doing the live shows?

I performed in comedy clubs in my teens as well as sketch comedy shows…

When I moved to England in 1999 I did the comedy club circuit and performed at the Edinburgh Fringe as well as the gay cabaret circuit. When my videos star ted going viral the act went through some major changes as audiences expected to see a live version of the characters that were featuring in my videos. page 20 | gnimag.com

Who is your favourite character to portray?

That’s easy, Laquisha Jonz. The second she steps on stage the energy in the room jumps up several notches. She’s big and bawdy and highly opinionated but very likable… for some reason she seems to appeal to a very wide demographic from teens to pensioners, gay, straight, urban, rural, black, white etc. People from all walks of life just seem to “get” her. She’s got a very elaborate and rich backstory and I know her so well, like she’s a real person that I just happen to channel when I put the sunglasses on… it’s hugely fun to play her.

Charlie Hides as the late great Joan Rivers.

Awesome! Which one was your breakthrough video?

Madonna’s Gaga Nightmare part 1. It’s the video where Madonna is afraid that Gaga has stolen all her gays. When she calls Cher to commiserate and says, “now I know how you felt back in the 80’s when I stole YOUR gays”, Cher replies, “has your daughter become a man?” “Do you have an Academy Award?” “No?... then you have NO idea how I feel!”

Hahaha, that’s definitely one of our favourites! Go Cher!

No matter how popular your other characters get, do you feel a stronger fondness for your original characters?

Yes, without a doubt… original characters like Loretta Lee Jackson the fundamentalist Christian housewife and Maureen, the English woman who is always, “minding her own business, not bovvering no one”.

They may not get as much attention as the celebrity impersonations but it’s more rewarding to me as a writer and actor to play them.

Does it take a lot of hard graft to get a following on YouTube?

It takes a lot of hard graft to achieve anything meaningful; nothing in show business is easy. I made a new video every week for over three years to build up a loyal following.

Describe how you felt when you first went ‘viral’…

It was on my birthday (July 12 2011) we

Victoria Beckham and Sir Elton John have a chinwag.

How long does it take you to get ready for a video?

It depends on the video… Music parody videos involve the most work as I have to make the backing track, write the lyrics, re-create the costumes etc… The more characters that appear on camera means more prep time and more work.

‘YouTube Sensation’ is very much a celebrity category now, but presumably that title most comes with more autonomy than ‘actor’ or ‘singer’.

Are you your own manager, or do you have an entourage?

Entourage? Are you kidding? I’m the manager, agent, writer, editor, costume maker, make up ar tist… etc. etc. I like being my own boss and being able to make whatever kind of videos I want.

You’ve done private parties for Sir Elton John, Jasper Conran and Andrew Lloyd Webber, and you opened for Girls Aloud… Tell us about those experiences…

I’ve been doing par ties for celebrities for years… It’s always exciting and a bit nervewracking, but I’ve found they are no different from ordinary people, they laugh at the same things and enjoy having the piss taken out of them. Actually, because they aren’t used to having anyone criticize them to their faces they laugh even more as it’s a novelty to have someone be so bold with them.

What’s the biggest crowd you’ve ever performed for?

I’ve done a lot of Prides over the years

We’re living in a strange world – a post-political-correctness-gone-mad society, in which people get offended a lot, by almost anything. Do you think there is a clear line to draw; have you ever offended anyone that you know of; and if so, how did you deal with that?

I’m not par ticularly bothered if people are offended by my comedy. Unless at least one person walks out of my show, I’m not doing my job correctly. In my personal life I’m exceedingly polite and laidback but on stage my comedy is most definitely not PC. If that bothers someone, tough shit. Taking offence has become a national sport… but often the person that becomes offended by a fat joke or an epilepsy joke has laughed at the dwarf tossing, pedophile and homeless person jokes as well as the jokes about my mother dying in 9/11 and me having had cour t ordered electroshock therapy… As a comedian there are almost no topics I won’t tackle. If you are overly sensitive or easily offended then don’t come to my live shows.

Do you want to go into TV? What and become a household name? No thanks, I prefer to struggle in anonymity and want to work in tiny venues that smell of stale beer and piss for the rest of my life.

Ahhh, don’t we all! Can you tell us about your husband, James? Does he help you make your videos?

He’s my best friend and the funniest person I know… he often co-writes my videos with me and has appeared in dozens of them as a body double. He’s got a knack for writing killer put down lines and is often behind the camera cracking me up while we are filming.

How does it make you feel knowing that you, Madonna, Cher, and Gaga share a lot of fans?

Surreal. It’s even more bizarre to know that they’ve seen my videos… the first time Cher tweeted me I nearly passed out.

We couldn’t begin to imagine how that felt. We’re one step away from making a Cher shrine in the office.

and those crowds are always thousands and thousands. I performed at the GAY VILLAGE in Rome in 2012 for about 20,000 people, that was pretty incredible. I learned a lot of Italian for the show and many of the audience spoke English. It was a lot of work but an incredible high to have 20,000 people cheering for me and singing along.

Thanks Charlie. It’s been a pleasure.

Keep CHERing your fabulous videos and we’ll keep watching… sure we’d be MADge not to!

Check out Charlie’s YouTube channel, Charlie Hides TV.

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D C WW

We asked Charlie: What Would Cher Do?

E? L K N I R W If the world ran out of leather?

Switch to the skin of one of her pet dinosaurs.

If she got a wrinkle?

Laser it off.

LEATHER? GAYS?

If the gays really abandoned her?

Would NEVER Happen. EVER!

RINGS? TIME?

If someone actually did count her rings…?

She’d probably enjoy it. Afterwards she’d buy them a Doctor Pepper.

If she could turn back time?

Can’t she do that already? Have you seen how amazing she looks on her current tour?

100th?

On her 100th birthday?

She can’t remember that far back…

IDENTI

If Charlie Hides stole her identity?

She’d go on holiday and let me do her live shows for her.

TY?

?

NT PRESIDE

If she became the President of the United States?

She’d slap some sense into the Republicans and social conservatives. The new military uniforms would be FABULOUS.

gnimag.com | page 21

Supporting & Empowering the Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Trans and Questioning community in Northern Ireland.

PROMOTING DIGNITY AND EQUALITY FOR ALL 1st Floor, 9-13 Waring Street, Belfast, BT1 2DX www.cara-friend.org.uk | 028 9089 0202 CARA-FRIEND LGBTQ SWITCHBOARD NI

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SHARING EXPERIENCES

gnimag.com | page 23

It is diff icult to know what really constitutes bullying and whether or not you have ever been a victim of it. When I talk about my own time at school I always focus on the positive experiences I had; the groups I got involved with, the subjects I liked, the teachers I had good relationships with, how my time there built my conf idence having been so shy as a child, and the great friends I made. However, when I really think about it there was one big thing that was missing in this whole list of positive experiences; why didn’t I tell anyone I was gay?

Why was it that by the time I star ted university I was unsure of who my closest friends were, or what I actually had in common with the people I had considered friends at school, other than the things we had experienced together on a daily basis?

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I was a teenager (admittedly a little later than I would have liked), and now when people ask me ‘are you gay?’ I answer with a conf ident ‘yes’, whereas during my schooldays I would have overreacted and attempted to prove just how ‘straight; I was over the nex t hour, day or even week! (Note: this would often prove diff icult whilst being judged for spor ting the red tights I donned for my far-from-starring role in the school play!) I now know of course that this question, when asked during my time at school, wasn’t meant in a ‘are you gay, because you know nobody will care, we are your friends and we will love you no matter what, we just want you to be yourself and to be happy’ kind of way. No, no, no… this was a form of embarrassment, something that would be said as loud as possible to ensure the widest ranging audience, and when I really think about it, it wasn’t the other boys in the class asking these questions, in fact I have When I really think about it, I realise that I had felt as though I was lagging behind my friends in terms of their experiences: boyfriends, girlfriends, sex, and all of those silly mistakes you are meant to make as a teenager. I knew of course that I was gay, and now I wonder why, when people would ask me in school ‘are you gay?’ that I would say no. As an adult I have now caught up and made all the silly mistakes I should have made when

a feeling they couldn’t have cared less. Instead, it was usually the girls who would use this sly form of questioning, which is ironic due to the misconception that all gay men have a harem of female friends that follow them around all vying for the sought after position of being the gay man’s best friend.

This in turn really made me think about what would have needed to be different to allow me to answer that question honestly. What I needed was to hear the word ‘gay’ without it being intended as an insult; I needed people who would offer their suppor t and speak to me about how I felt; I needed my friends to talk to me about the language other people used to cause hur t, so that I did not feel just so on my own in dealing with it.

I am very happy to say that this is what I am now able to do for young people currently in education, whether they identify as being LGBT, they are questioning their sexual

people, giving them the knowledge and the power they need in order to become good friends, good teachers, good suppor t staff, good family members, and most importantly, the power and validation some young people need to simply be themselves! Cara-Friend provide information sessions and training across Nor thern Ireland as well as safe social spaces in which young people who may identify as LGBT or are simply questioning can spend time with people their own age, and share their experiences without feeling that they are on their own.

For information on all of our groups check out our website at www. cara-friend.org.uk or look us up on Facebook!

orientation or gender identity, they have a family member or friend who may be LGBTQ, or they simply want to be an ally to their friends who are. Through my role as Regional Development Youth Manager with Cara-Friend, and working alongside The Rainbow Project, I spend a lot of my time working directly with young people in the safe social spaces we have created across Nor thern Ireland as well as in classrooms.

I work closely with staff and young

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CONLETH KANE The Local Lad in the big smoke

Hi Conleth, what’s the craic?

‘What’s the craic?’ I love that! You should see some of the faces I get when I say that to people in London. Ah, there’s no place like home (clicks heels). I’ve been back in Nor thern Ireland since the beginning of November rehearsing for the brand new Christmas Musical ‘Tinseltown’ (which opens December 1st at The Theatre at the Mill in Newtownabbey), and preparing for my debut Nor thern Irish concer t later this month, which I am both very excited and nervous about. It’s great to be home again, especially at my favourite time of year, and I get to see lots of family and friends, which is always lovely.

Tell us about your concert, ‘All I Want For Christmas’, which is being held at The Black Box in Belfast on 21st December…

Well just over 3 years ago I was a finalist on the RTE Reality TV Show ‘Fame the Musical’, and after that ended I hosted my own concer t at the Landor Theatre in London, which was just amazing. For a star t I couldn’t believe it sold out, and I was so nervous up until about the second song into the show, but soon all the nerves left and I felt right at home. I recall it being such a special night in my career, and I always hoped the oppor tunity would come for me to do something similar back home.

The timing for a concer t back home just seemed right, and the fact that the theme is Christmas is a bonus as I just LOVE Christmas music. There will be songs from Musicals too, obviously. I want it to be incredibly intimate. I have been in London page 26 | gnimag.com

over a decade now, so I have lots of cracking stories to share including my duet with pop star PINK, and having my first Christmas dinner away from home with Pamela Anderson. Ha! I’d love to see you all there.

I want to make it a very special evening for anyone who buys a ticket.

What do you want for Christmas?

As long as I am healthy, my family is healthy and my friends are too, then I am happy. I don’t ask for Christmas presents.

I suppose if I had a wish this Christmas, it would be for my concer t to be a real success. I am not one for wanting material goods.

How are you spending Christmas this year?

I’m very lucky to get Christmas at home this year as I have had to miss two Christmases at home in the past four years due to my performance schedule. My family are scattered all over the world so it’s a bonus for my parents to have any of their kids in the house at Christmas. My brother lives in San Francisco (cue song), my little sister moved to Sydney earlier this year and my older sister also plans to move away to Australia in 2015. I haven’t had a family Christmas in many years, so I cer tainly don’t take Christmas at home for granted. I have 2 weeks off at the end of 2014 and I plan to seriously chill with family and friends, watch lots of movies, walk the dog and relax before heading straight back to London to star t rehearsals in January for my next project.

How did you get into performance arts?

I was very young. I ‘ll never forget it. I went to stay with my cousins in Por tadown as a kid and I had to go with them to a rehearsal of ‘Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’ in Por tadown Town Hall. I remember crying my eyes out in the auditorium watching them all up on stage. I begged my mum to let me join their following production, which was ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’. That was the star t of it really. I always took it so seriously. I knew from about the age of 14 it would be my career. I always remember the majority of my teachers being suppor tive and my parents saw my dedication and passion from such an early age.

They were nothing but encouraging towards me and fully pushed me to go and pursue my career in this industry. I made my first TV appearance at the age of 15,

and finally gained some street credibility, as before that school was pretty difficult on the social side. At 17 I was accepted into the National Youth Music Theatre in London and I was cast as a young vampire in the musical ‘The Late Sleepers’ alongside a girl called Jessica Cornish (now known around the world as ‘Jessie J’). Having the oppor tunity to work with people like her made me decide to make the move to London the following year.

What is your life like in London?

I love London and I never take it for granted. It’s hard to believe I’ve been there for 11 years. It’s a great city. I suppose I don’t really have a choice but to live in London due to my chosen career path. My life there is pretty chilled, despite the city being a gnimag.com | page 27

very fast-moving place. I do lots of Bikram Yoga and try to go to the gym about three times a week, and I eat as healthily as I can. I live in Chiswick, which is a beautiful area in West London, but I can be in Covent Garden in 30 minutes if I want to meet up with friends. I love nothing more than to meet with friends in Soho at a cool restaurant and just catch up over great food and wine. I suppose I have a great life there, but then like every other self-employed person in the world, I am happiest when in work and doing what I love.

The periods I go through in between jobs make me appreciate the work when it’s on the table.

What are you working on at the minute, apart from the upcoming concert?

I’m currently appearing in ‘Tinseltown’ (mentioned above), which is so much fun. I’m working with a great cast including Nuala McKeever and Jane Milligan (Spike Milligan’s daughter). It’s an original Christmas themed musical written by Paul Boyd. We run until Dec 13th, so come along if you can! It’s very original, funny, and it’s a show for the page 28 | gnimag.com

entire family. I am juggling this with putting my concer t together.

What’s your favourite stage show/ musical?

‘Billy Elliot’ in London’s West End is pretty amazing, however one of the best pieces of Musical Theatre I have ever seen was a piece called ‘Dogfight’ at the Southwark Playhouse in London. I saw it in August. I had no idea what I was in for. It was about a bunch of young guys in America who were about to head to war, and the night before they left, they held a competition to see who could pull the ‘ugliest girl’. I was completely shocked to learn that a ‘dogfight’ bet was actually a real thing! It turned out to be the most amazing love story. I loved it.

What has been your favourite show that you’ve been a part of/ favourite character to play?

Playing ‘Lefou’ on the International Tour of Walt Disney’s ‘Beauty and the Beast’ was pretty epic as it was my favourite Disney movie as a child. However, I have to say a career highlight for me was creating the role of ‘Jake’ in ‘Molly Wobbly’s

Tit Factory’ that star ted back at the Lyric Theatre in 2011. When I read the script and heard the score for the first time I knew I was about to embark on something very special. I have never seen audience reactions like it before; they really do love the show. Paul Boyd (the writer) is a very talented guy and an absolute credit to N. Ireland and I’m honoured that he asked me to come on board.

The show opens on Jan 27th at the Leicester Square Theatre in London and runs until March 14th. If you’re in London, come along! It’s a great night out (even if I do say so myself).

star t? Apar t from giving us some of the best pop tunes and videos since Michael Jackson, she really has been through it all. She was the soundtrack to my teens and my 20s. I plan to go and see her in Vegas over the next two years. Then you have Bette… who doesn’t love any film she has starred in? Total legend, and camp as ever!

Who is your favourite gay icon?

I have three: Mariah Carey, Britney Spears and Bette Midler. What so many people don’t know about Mariah is that she writes and produces her songs, and has done since 1990, and her lyrics are just genius. She’s a real ar tist. It really p**sed me off recently when she got slated for dodgy vocals on her world tour. The woman is going through a divorce and has been singing all over the world in a five-octave range for over 30 years! People are so quick to criticise. As for Britney, where do I

What’s on the cards for you in the future?

I have learned in recent years that if you try to make plans for your professional life, and they don’t materialise, you only end up disappointed.

So I try and let that side of my life unfold naturally. As for my personal life, I plan to take myself to a warm beach again in 2015 and just chill. I visited Sitges in Spain this year and I came back with such a clear head.

There’s nothing like treating yourself to a bit of sun and fun. Maybe love could be on the cards in 2015 too....

Do you have a pulling technique?

If I poke you on Facebook, that’s a pretty good sign. If I respond to a poke on Facebook you’re in luck. I just laughed out loud.

GOT A TASTE FOR

ITALIAN FOOD?

conleth’s Christmas quiz Is Christmas the most wonderful time of the year?

Of course! Christmas holds such wonderful memories for the majority of people. I think the build-up to Christmas is what makes Christmas so special. I know most people hate the cold frosty weather, but I love it! Especially the dark mornings/nights, wrapping up in scarves and hats etc. I star t listening to Christmas songs from about September...

I’m not kidding.

What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever given?

My mum forever thanks me for introducing her to Marc Jacobs’ ‘Daisy’ perfume. I bought it for her a few Christmases ago. She is now obsessed with it. Now every time I feel homesick I walk into somewhere that sells it, give my wrists a little spray and it instantly reminds me of her. It can be very comfor ting for a mummy’s boy who does not get to see his mum that often.

What’s the best Christmas present you’ve ever received?

I cannot actually believe I am going to share this with you. Christmas 1997, I was 14 and I knew the Spice Girls ‘Live in Istanbul’ Concer t video was going to be in my stocking and I could barely sleep a wink. I was a HUGE Spice Girls fan growing up. Obviously you get the usual material things over the years like the latest camera, watch, DVD Player, games console or whatever but I can honestly say that that video made my year! I watched it about 10 times that Christmas day, and then went to see their movie, which was released the following day in the cinema.

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If you could be one of Santa’s reindeer, who would you be and why?

Probably ‘Prancer’. For obvious reasons, and the name is pretty cool.

What’s your best under-the-misteltoe chat up line?

I’m quite forward with someone if I like them. I don’t waste any time. I kind of don’t need to use chat-up lines thankfully as I am straight to the point. If anything, I would risk looking pretty stupid if I tried using one I thought was good and more than likely miss out on an oppor tunity.

Do you consider yourself gayer than Christmas?

Remember that question you asked about what my favourite ever Christmas present was? (smirks) To buy tickets to ‘All I Want For Christmas’, visit the Black Box website at www.blackboxbelfast.com, or call the box office on 02890 244 400.

16-19 SHAFTESBURY SQUARE BELFAST, COUNTY ANTRIM, BT2 7DB EST 1983

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PARTY WHERE? ‘As Christmas rolls around it’s time to fill your wardrobe with some sexy outfits sure to get you noticed at the office party or out on the town. ‘ - Tony Webster

Johnny - bomber jacket and skull jumper from H & M, three quar ter length shor ts from Zara.

Darcy - metallic vest from River Island, scuba skir t by H & M Trend., white knitted dress from Topshop and embroidered silk bomber jacket from Zara. gnimag.com | page 31

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Johnny & Sassie Clothes - H&M Necklace - Topshop

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Sassie, Johnny & Darcy - All looks

by KLOTH gnimag.com | page 37

FASHION CREDITS Styled by Bigbad Llamma, Lewis Robert Caneron and Orla Eastwood Models - Johnny Newton, Sassie Longshaft, Darcy Smith Makeup - Ciara Daly page 38 | gnimag.com

Johnny - Topman Darcy - Kloth Sassie - Kloth gnimag.com | page 39

luxury is now affordable

Quality, Service, and Trust

GET THE LOOK FASHION IS MY DRUG For some people it’s smoking cigarettes. For others it’s drinking alcoholic beverages, watching their favourite reality TV show, eating Chinese takeaways or delicious boxes of Thornton’s chocolates. For me, my personal drug of choice is one that cannot be neutralised. I’m talking front row runway shows, captivating silhouettes, designer pop-up shops, high street collaborations and street style galleries galore. The list of fashion narcotics is literally endless.

Still, my own personal brand of fashion heroin usually revolves around one single piece of menswear euphoria, and that little piece of joy stick is called a ‘statement bag’.

Slightly bored with the SBs I currently own, I created a statement bag with a fashionable ecstasy induced twist. Enter the ‘FASHION IS MY DRUG’ canvas tote i.e., a hand-printed shopper bag with an explosion of colourful pills, all featuring infamous designer names. Inspired by Steve Krait’s ‘Designer Drugs’ beauty editorial, which incorporates people’s everyday obsession with household designer names, referencing luxury and status, and the addiction to constantly updating one’s wardrobe with the latest styles, trends and designer collections. Basically our next fix.

Vibrant, edgy, and every fashion blogger’s dream, the FIMD bag is cool, quirky and energetic, poking fun at the crazy, lavish lifestyle of those who covet the recently debuted catwalk items. The FIMD bag arrived as par t of the FAUXIALITE collection launched on November 6th representing the collection’s overall design philosophy of style confidence, and creative fashion asser tiveness.

There’s an element of jubilant release found in the FAUXIALITE collection, displaying unisex street style inspired apparel incorporating the ‘faux-socialite’ (the celebrity ‘style icons’ who have little to no knowledge of the world of fashion but simply dress in household names and are adored instantly). It’s all about embracing individual fashion sense and recognising those who actually live and breathe fashion.

They know the trends, they know the runways, and they know where true style emerges. They are essentially fashion junkies. And I’m one of them.

All that’s left to do here really is conclude. My name is Lewis Cameron and I have a problem. I’m a drug user, and that drug is fashion.

P.s. I 100% do not endorse nor do I take any drugs of any kind.

CREDITS: Words & Styling: Lewis Cameron Photography: BigBad Llama Hair: Jonny McKelvey (Uber Hair) Model: John McDowell Fashion Is My Drug bag & FAUXIALITE sweater available online at www.beyondman.co.uk. gnimag.com | page 41

DOMESTIC ABUSE A home should be a refuge: a happy, comfortable, and safe place. Sadly, this is far from reality for victims of domestic abuse. No one should have to live in fear of the person they love.

Whether it’s physical, emotional, sexual, or financial, domestic abuse is wrong; it can cause everlasting damage and it should always be taken seriously. Domestic abuse can happen to anyone, and it can have a huge detrimental impact on a person’s physical and mental wellbeing, yet it is often excused, denied, and ignored.

According to ‘Domestic Abuse of Women and Men in Ireland: Repor t on the National Study of Domestic Abuse’ (National Crime Council and ERSI, 2005), about “213,000 women and 88,000 men in Ireland have been severely abused by a par tner at some point in their lives.”

On average, five people in Nor thern Ireland die every year as a result of domestic abuse, and it is estimated that each week in Nor thern Ireland, police attend around 400 domestic incidents and deal with over 100 domestic assaults.

In 2011 – 2012, the PSNI recorded 20 offences of murder, seven (35%) of which were classed as having a domestic motivation.

Domestic violence accounts for approximately one-fifth of all recorded violent crime in Nor thern Ireland; that’s on top of all the incidents that aren’t recorded. It is widely acknowledged that there is still a large amount of under-repor ting of crimes of this nature. page 42 | gnimag.com

Many people think of domestic violence solely as a form of control by men over women. This is a onedimensional theory, which has been challenged as ‘heterosexist’ due to the increasing cases of violence within male and female same-sex relationships, as well as the large body of evidence proving the existence of male victims in general.

According to the National Crime Council and ESRI ‘Domestic Abuse of Women and Men in Ireland’ Repor t (2005), “1 in 7 women in Ireland compared to 1 in 17 men experience severe domestic violence. Women are over twice as likely as men to have experienced severe physical abuse, seven times more likely to have experienced sexual abuse, and are more likely to experience serious injuries than men.” While the risk to women is higher, domestic abuse is something that also affects a significant number of men, and that number is on the increase.

In October 2013 The Belfast Telegraph repor ted that domestic abuse against males in Nor thern Ireland was at its highest recorded level. The PSNI noticed a 41% increase of domestic offences against males aged 18 and over during a nine-year period from 2004 – 2013.

Many children are also affected by domestic abuse. UNICEF research carried out in 2006 found that, at that time, there were up to 32,000 children and young people living with domestic violence in Nor thern Ireland.

Identifying and acknowledging the signs of an abusive relationship is the first step to ending it. The most telling sign is being afraid of your

par tner. If you feel like you have to constantly watch what you do or say just to avoid a blow-up; if your par tner has a tendency to belittle and control you; and if you have feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation as a result, the chances are you are in an unhealthy, abusive relationship.

Direct and immediate physical effects of domestic violence include cuts, bruises, broken bones, and loss of teeth and hair. Long-term physical effects can include chronic pain, gastrointestinal disorders, and eating problems. Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, and must be taken just as seriously. People who are victims of domestic abuse are at an increased risk of suffering from anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, and depression. As trauma victims, they are also at a greater risk of developing problems with substance abuse.

Every type of domestic abuse is a serious crime and a breach of human rights, and all cases should be repor ted and treated with sensitivity.

The Nor thern Ireland Regional Steering Group on Domestic Violence (DHSSPS and the NIO, 2005) defines domestic violence as “any incident of threatening behavior, violence or abuse (psychological, verbal, sexual, financial or emotional) inflicted on one person by another where they are or have been intimate par tners or family members, irrespective of gender or sexual orientation.” Domestic violence is not a gender issue, nor is it a sexuality issue; it is a human issue.

If you are a victim of domestic

abuse, or you know someone that is, it is imperative that you seek help.

There are various organisations working to protect victims of domestic abuse by providing suppor t, counsel, and care.

These include: Women’s Aid, Men’s Advisory Project NI (MapNI), Lifeline NI, Nexus NI, Cara Friend, Rainbow Project , Men’s Advice Line, Safe Ireland.

Nor thern Ireland 24-hour Freephone Domestic Violence Helpline: 0800 917 1414 Republic of Ireland 24-hour Freephone Domestic Violence Helpline: 1800 341 900 Statistics taken from womensaidni.org, ‘Domestic Abuse of Women and Men in Ireland: Repor t on the National Study of Domestic Abuse’, ‘Domestic Abuse of Women and Men in Ireland, 2005’ (National Crime Council and ERSI), belfasttelegraph.co.uk, The Nor thern Ireland Regional Steering Group on Domestic Violence (DHSSPS and the NIO, 2005), ‘World Repor t on Violence and Health’ (The World Health Organisation), ‘Towards Gender Equality: Exploratory Evidence of the Attitudes Towards and the Needs of Male Victims of Domestic Violence and Abuse in Nor thern Ireland with Recommendations for Change’ (MapNI), ‘Our Place – Safe Space: The impact of domestic violence on children and young people’ (UNICEF 2006).

Dave from Belfast told us about his expeirence with his boyfriend: “Things moved pretty quickly in our relationship. Dating to moving in with each other was all done within about six months, and it was within the first few weeks that he first hit me. I vividly remember the first time, we were lying in bed having a discussion about something and I obviously said something he didn’t agree with - then I felt a thump to the back. It continued each time we had a disagreement, he’d lift his hand and strike out at me.

I knew I was bigger and stronger than him and I knew that if I wanted to, I could floor him - but I never wanted to hit him and I couldn’t understand why he wanted to hit me, the guy he claimed to be in love with. It then became a bit of a vicious cycle where we would actually argue about aruging, and about the physical violence.

The final staw came after a par ty in our home. I’d gone to bed and left our friends and him downstairs, I’d shouted downstairs to him and got no response so I went on to bed. A few minutes later I was lying in bed and I heard him coming into the room. I could feel that he was in a rage so I pretended to be asleep. He lifted a slipper off the floor (one with a hard sole), and whacked me across the head with it.

I lay there motionless, he shouted a bit and left the room. He returned not long after and repeted the same thing but this time I jumped out of bed and chased him across the landing and literally dragged him back into the room. I’m not proud to

say that I hit him back, violently.

I personally put the whole thing down to two male egos living in the one home, each of us wanting to get our own way most of the time.

After that evening we chatted calmly and decided either this behaviour cesed, or we ended

“A few minutes later I was lying in bed, I heard him coming into the room and could feel that he was in a rage so I pretended to be asleep.” our relationship. He went to see his GP and explained the situation. He was then referred to a therapy group which he attended for six months.

I’m delighted to say that seven years later we are still together, and the abuse never returned to our relationship since that night.”

GNI chatted to solicitor Ciaran Moynagh from McLernon Moynagh Solicitors in Holywood for some advice: “The victim of domestic violence can seek help from many of the organisations already mentioned.

Fur thermore, should the injured

par ty phone the PSNI and confirm that a domestic incident occurred and that they suffered an assault or are/were likely to. the abuser can be removed from the home and arrested. Typically, those who are arrested are granted police bail, however it is very common for police to stipulate conditions such as no contact with the injured par ty or not to go back to the address the injured par ty resides at, so it is common that the abuser does not return to the proper ty. This offers protection as if either condition is breached the police can re-arrest for breach of bail and that person must go before the Cour ts. If the abuser has no other address they may not secure bail in the first instance.

If the police are not involved or if the injured par ty does not believe that bail conditions are sufficient, they can seek emergency assistance from the Cour t. If you contact a Solicitor they can bring an ex-par te application for a non-molestation order and/or occupation order the same day or the next day at the latest. Legal Aid is also available for these applications. At Cour t your Solicitor will assist you through the process and it is all done in private and not in open cour t.

A non-molestation order prevents a person from harassing, annoying or intimidating the Applicant either directly or indirectly.

Should the person breach the cour t order they can be arrested and become the subject of criminal sanctions.

An occupation order specifies who can reside in a proper ty. It can also detail who should be excluded

from the proper ty and can include an area around the home known as an exclusion zone.

Even if you are not in the type of relationship that the above orders apply to, you may still be able to achieve protection from the Cour t under the Harassment (NI) Order.

If you suffer two more incidents of physical or verbal abuse or harassment you have the right to seek an injunction from the County Cour t.

It is often impor tant to take action against abusers that seek to impose power and control over their victim. Once you take advice and receive assistance you can benefit from some very robust remedies that remove that element of power and control from the abuser.

Additional suppor t can be offered by the PSNI and the charities.

Obviously cour t orders and the potential to get a criminal record can have a huge impact on employment, contact with children and relationships. Once a person realises that their par tner will not stand to suffer domestic violence and will seek help, that is often the most significant step to ending violence.”

If you require an emergency consultation in confidence, want fur ther information, or wish to pursue a cour t order, McLernon Moynagh Solicitors can offer a free initial consultation typically within 24 hours.

DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE – SEEK HELP!

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S K L A T TOM The holidays are here, finally! Maybe you are reading this while treating yourself to a steamy visit at your local spa, perhaps you have just returned from a mulled-wine fuelled dander around the Christmas market, or maybe you are one of those lucky people who whiles away the winter hours relaxing on the couch with their other half.

Whatever you are doing, I hope you are feeling a bit of holiday cheer right now.

Well, isn’t winter time just fabulous? It is the merry season full of gifts and giving, mulled wine and mince pies, and special mistletoe moments. You might even be lucky enough to encounter a cer tain bearded man, carrying a big sack, whistling Jingle Bells. Besides all the treats though - in whatever form they come - Christmas and New Year’s is also a time of silent reflection. It is when we come together with those we call family and the ones we hold dearest.

I remember waking up in a loft in Berlin on a cold December morning, last year. The day before, I had attended my last class at University. Finished with studying, and before travelling from London to my parents’ house in South Germany for the holidays, I had a little “layover” in Berlin, visiting the man I was madly in love with. Despite the many concerns that were in my life at the time, curling up to my still sleeping lover under the warm blanket in his chilly, white-walled room, I felt a moment of untainted happiness.

This year, thanks to a new job and moving to a new city, I will be spending the holiday week by myself. No need to feel bad for me though, I already have it all figured out: a mixture of closely following Greg’s guide to ‘Surviving Christmas Single’ in this issue and extensive bar-hopping on Union street (in pursuit of Santa) will do me just fine.

However, while I was preparing for my special single holiday, I couldn’t help but asking, ‘why does Christmas have to be so “in your face”?’

It seems the TV shows, movies, newspapers and adver ts at this time of year all have one purpose: to represent romance and the cheerful nuclear family as the only valid option for happy holidays, and the solely acceptable life form in general. Do I sound like the Grinch yet? Well, though this unilateral view of happiness bothers me a bit, I understand that the majority of people can identify with the image of family. After all, we all star ted as par t of one. Over the years, families can break apar t for a multitude of reasons, some maybe even over the “gay-issue” (something I will never be able to understand).

How can mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers etc. forsake one of their own, just because of the ideas that they associate with “being gay”?

But, ultimately, one or the other form of “family” is something most of us yearn for. And because we have become so used to living in a heteronormative world, most of us will find ourselves identifying with this very par ticular por trayal of the concept of family. Living on the edge has taught us to compromise. So, when watching yet another family-based Christmas adver t, gay parents might relate to the parental affection an onscreen couple shows towards their children, and the single page 44 | gnimag.com

gay man might see himself depicted in the generous uncle, bearing gifts.

Never theless, these images of perfectly-happy-no-sorrowcheer with which we are bombarded come at a time when many members of society grow more vulnerable. Whoever they might be - those estranged from their families, people who feel isolated, lonely elders or closeted LGBTs - their feelings of solitude must be magnified indefinitely by the supposedly ubiquitous happiness all around them at this time of year. And even though this is a general concern, I believe it is fair to say that in terms of propor tion by numbers, we gays, lesbians, and all the other colours of the rainbow family, are even more affected by this than our straight counterpar ts. Sadly, the additional challenges we face in life are reflected in the suicide statistics. If you feel like you are in a dead-end situation, you should know that you are not alone. There are millions of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transsexuals around the globe, and we are all pretty damn fabulous. From time to time, we ought to remind ourselves of that. It doesn’t matter whether you define yourself as rugged, jock, bear, otter, polar bear, twink, or whatever other category Grindr has to offer – you are an impor tant member of our strong community! Since the famous police raid on the Stonewall Inn on 28th June 1969, and the subsequent Stonewall Riots, we have become resilient enough to fend off hatred and depression. So let us remember, we are a robust community with the strength to suppor t each other. And whatever the outside world throws at us - even if it is just simple Christmas cheer - we always have each other. gnimag.com | page 45

Bliains World A NEW YEAR’S PROMISE

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At the end of each year many of us take some time to look back at our achievements in the year gone by, to reflect on our triumphs and missteps, both promises made and broken.

As a guy that’s nearing the ‘Twenties End’ signpost, I find myself veering towards my big box of Shoulda, Woulda ,Coulda’s: a collection of unfulfilled plans and objectives. Each of us has a box like this and no matter how organised and dedicated we may be to our grandmaster plan, life will find a way to shake things up. Despite this fact, it’s impor tant not to lose sight of the bigger picture, and try to prevent ourselves from getting caught up in trivial pursuits. Occasionally we need to remind ourselves about what really matters.

New Year’s Resolutions are not a tradition that I often involve myself in, at least not in a ‘To –do’ list capacity. What do they really mean anyway?

Okay... so I may plan to be more proactive this year and try to lose the Christmas gut! I may take up a Gym membership or try harder to win that dream job! Albeit many of us that eagerly compose our list of resolutions do so out of good intentions and make those all-impor tant first steps to become better versions of ourselves. Does it really matter if we get bored and give up at the first hurdle? There’s always next year to star t the list again, right?

Later, tomorrow, next week, next year... words we often use without much thought for what we take for granted, assuming we will have access to these future plans. In a year that I will always remember to have been somewhat of a challenge, it has never been more apparent that life waits for no man, and this fact has been dipped in gold and covered with feathers.

This year I’ve been a bystander looking on as good people I know have said goodbye to loved ones, lost their jobs, and suffered broken hear ts.

Situations like this will always linger near to us but it’s how we deal with them that shapes us and helps to pave our path. We may fall down and bruise, but eventually most of us learn to lick our wounds and get back up again.

Christmas however, soaks a different kind of alcohol into our wounds. Whilst many of us use this time of year to relish in our accomplishments and accolades, there are those of us who punish ourselves for boxes that have gone un-ticked and merits not quite earned. I find it dramatically ironic that the most magical season of all can also be the darkest and deadliest for some.

With suicides at their peak at this time of year is it really okay to prioritise a trip to the beer tent over helping a person in need?

For those lucky enough to spend the festive season with friends, family and par tners, there are also those that spend this time in a cage of sadness, looking on at Christmas trees and twinkling lights with a dull ache in their hear ts. Whether this ache is represented by financial worries, health problems, or the simplicity of loneliness, it probably doesn’t help that this time of year can be a big old snowball in the face to those of us barred from the compulsory sentiment.

It can be so easy to get caught up in the retail frenzy and the par ties of this time of year, so much so that those of us that are seemingly exempt from the season’s dark side can forget to think of those of us that are struggling. We are so busy buying our turkeys, gifts, and getting wasted, that we play into the hands of the truth in that most of us fail to remember the true meaning of Christmas.

In the classic Christmas movie ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ we are told a story of the human condition, like glass in the hands of a child we are all at risk of breaking. Unlike the movie, we aren’t usually gifted with a guardian angel to show us a safer path, but we do possess the power of communication.

I would ask that this year instead of flooding each other’s newsfeeds with pictures of lavish and expensive gifts that we can try to flood them with compassion and kindness. Listen out for the cries for help; some will be loud and some quiet, some obvious and some not so much. A gift is defined as a gesture of kindness to another; so instead of wasting money on trivial nick knacks, give someone your time this year, an ear to listen, a phone call, or a hug.

And as the season draws to an end and we put on our finest to say goodbye to 2014, let us pause to remember that we made it through another year despite the challenges we all faced. We should remember our successes and our failures, the times we opened ourselves up to exciting new oppor tunities, and the times we shut ourselves off because we got hur t. New Years is about getting that second chance to do better and to make amends. So as we down Jägerbombs and guzzle Prosecco, let’s try to be nicer and to embrace each other, not just at Christmas and New Year, but all year long. “ Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives. When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”- It’s a Wonderful Life Bliain Fitzpatrick

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World AIDS Day The Red Ribbon

We at Positive Life, as keen Red Ribbon-wearers, are often asked the question, “What’s that for?” which is surprising considering The Red Ribbon Project began in 1991and was first worn publically by Jeremy Irons at the Tony awards that same year. It is the international symbol of HIV and AIDS awareness.

In 1986 a small group of volunteers began providing a telephone helpline service twice a week from an office in the Carpenters Club in Belfast. This was the star t of the AIDS Helpline Nor thern Ireland, the organisation now known as Positive Life. For the next ten years, before there was any effective HIV medication, the charity’s work centred on palliative care and suppor t with end-of-life issues. This was a time when everyone knew what the Red Ribbon stood for and when the AIDS quilt – a huge handmade quilt comprising of hundreds of unique panels, each created by individuals to commemorate the lives of loved ones they had lost to AIDS – filled the entire floor of the Ulster Hall. It was called The Names Project.

World AIDS Day began in 1988 and until the mid-1990s was very much a day of remembrance and a means of keeping pressure on governments to invest in HIV drug research. Worldwide, hundreds of thousands of people would die before the first combination drug therapy was developed and made available in 1996. In Nor thern Ireland, especially within the gay community, there was at least one funeral every 2 weeks.

In 1995 the charity moved into its current premises in James Street South and became known as The Centre at the Warehouse, The HIV Suppor t Centre and now Positive Life - to reflect our attitude toward living positively with HIV. page 48 | gnimag.com

Over the last 18 years there have been dramatic changes in the field of HIV. AIDS-related deaths did not cease immediately with the introduction of Highly Active AntiRetroviral Therapy (HAART). For some it had come too late. For others the toxicity of first generation HAART exacerbated existing health conditions and was deemed counter-effective. But with continuing developments in HIV drug research, we have seen fewer and fewer deaths and people suffering from ill health. Many of those diagnosed today are able to manage their HIV with a combination of drugs formulated into one pill, taken once daily. This is truly amazing!

How in 20 years, an HIV diagnosis has gone from being a death sentence to a manageable lifelong health condition with the prospect of normal life expectancy.

Having said that HIV is not something anyone wants to have. A lifelong commitment to taking daily medication, social stigma, the stress of negotiating sexual relationships and the very real fear of rejection are reasons enough for understanding and employing risk reduction practices.

From its inception as the AIDS Helpline in 1986 through to the present day as Positive Life, Nor thern Ireland’s only dedicated HIV charity has had LGBTI involvement throughout its entire structure; board of trustees, volunteers, staff, sessional workers and service users. Gay men and lesbian women were at the forefront of AIDS activism in the early years of the epidemic, achieving great success, the rewards of which we are reaping today.

We have come a long way, but there is still work to be done. In 2014 Positive Life’s main challenge to eradicate the stigma associated with HIV remains as great as it was in the

1980’s. Anyone living with a chronic health condition should be able to share their diagnosis with their loved ones and not fear their family, friends and colleagues finding out.

Confronting the stigma star ts with us. We must all question our attitudes towards people living with HIV if we are to afford them the right to live with dignity, free of stigma. We owe it to ourselves and each other to become well informed so that we can challenge the myths surrounding HIV. So this year let’s wear our ribbons with pride and when someone asks, “What’s that for?” let’s star t a conversation about HIV. Try remembering one of these facts: • With effective HAART therapy, a person living with HIV can attain an “undetectable viral load” meaning that HIV replication has been fully suppressed. When someone has an undetectable viral load and no other STIs, the chances of them ever transmitting HIV sexually can be as low as 3%.

• HIV can survive for less than 1 minute when outside the human body. (It can survive for days within the barrel of a syringe).

• Post Exposure Prophylaxis (PEP) is a 28 day course of HAART to prevent sero-conversion (when the virus takes hold) after someone has been exposed to HIV. This is available from A&E and must be star ted as soon as possible. within 72 hours of the exposure • Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) is the latest development in the fight against HIV transmission and was a major topic for discussion in this year’s International AIDS Conference in Melbourne.

Truvada (a combination of 2 HIV drugs) has been shown in various studies to drastically reduce the risk of HIV transmission when taken by the HIV negative par tner before they have sex. The optimum frequency of

dosage is still under review. In some par ts of the US this is available under health insurance, but is still undergoing clinical trials in the UK and will be 2016 at least before it is available on the NHS. • HIV can affect anyone who has ever had unprotected sex. It does not discriminate.

By doing our par t to educate, we star t to break down stigma. And in doing so we honour those whose lives were cut tragically shor t by this virus. So this December, let’s wear our ribbons with pride and stand together as a strong, compassionate community.

Paul Norman – Outreach Officer at Positive Life

DEBT

how to stay in the black

Christmas is a time of giving and merriment, but although it’s important to revel in the season, it’s also important to avoid the pain of large bills and debt in the New Year.

BUDGET

Debt has many contributing factors including extravagant living, unwise decisions, unpredictable and unavoidable setbacks, and larger than anticipated bills. It can be very easy to slide into debt, and once you’re in it’s a bit like quicksand… the more you try and wiggle out of it the deeper you get; it becomes unmanageable very quickly and it is often accompanied by feelings of powerlessness, desperation, and shame.

These days everything is pricy, and borrowing money is extremely easy. Personal debt continues to rise, and despite repor ts of the economy stabilising, individuals are still recovering from the impact the recession had on their finances. The Money Statistics Charity conducts an annual repor t on debt in the UK. This year’s repor t found that personal debt was up an average increase of £521 in household debt per UK adult, and that approximately 297 people are declared insolvent or bankrupt in the UK every day.

It’s a mistake to think that debt only happens to people who get rid of money quicker than the worst ever contestant on The Million Pound Drop. Debt can happen to anyone, but with time, patience, and the right suppor t, even seemingly insurmountable debt can be tamed.

Debt Action NI has put together some tips on how to manage your money better in order to reduce the post-Christmas debt and to ensure that you have a Happy New Year...

MAKE A LIST

Draw up a budget of how much you are going to spend on each person/item and stick to it. Remember you still have to pay rent/mor tgage and utility bills during the festive season so make sure you include these in your budget.

Write a list of presents, groceries, clothing and any other expenses you will have over the Christmas period. Don’t make any impulse buys and REMEMBER TO STICK TO YOUR LIST.

AVOID HIGH INTEREST

Try to avoid payday loans, as interest rates are extremely high. For example borrowing £400 from a high street interest lender could accrue interest and fees of £167.70 within 40 days.

CHILDREN

Manage children’s expectations and be realistic about what you can afford. REMEMBER TO STICK TO YOUR BUDGET.

BE SAVVY Always research for the best deal on any gifts/goods before you buy. Online shopping can often offer the best value discounts. You should always check out sites that offer discount vouchers, and use comparison websites.

CAUTION WHEN USING CREDIT CARD We understand that most people need to use credit cards or borrow more money to get through the festive period. If you spend over £100 on cer tain items, a credit card will offer greater protection but always ensure that you are clear how much you will have to pay back and that you can afford to repay it.

RECEIPTS If buying gifts always ask for a gift receipt. You should always keep receipts safe and together in a drawer in case you need to return anything, especially when buying high value items.

BE AWARE OF STORE CARDS

Shop assistants will often try to offer you store cards with discounts. Although many of these will give a discount on your initial purchase, that discount could end up costing you more if you do not pay the card in full when you receive your statement.

SAFETY FIRST If it seems too good to be true then it probably is. Never buy from unauthorised traders and, if buying online, always ensure that the website is secure and genuine and never give out your PIN.

NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

Star t planning for next Christmas by drawing up a budget for the year ahead to include saving for Christmas.

If you have overspent during the festive period and are worrying about how to repay your debt, get in touch with Debt Action NI now on: 0800 917 4607 Text “Action” to 81025 or visit www.debtaction-ni.net gnimag.com | page 49

NEW YEAR. NEW YOU? your secondary goal is to become fitter than you’ve felt in ages. Get someone you care Here we are once again. We’re about to say up off’a that thing! No one ever achieved anything lying around about that you have lost farewell to “that stinker of a year”, and we’re scratching their whatsits. touch with, drop them a looking forward to a redo. “Roll on January”, line. With so many routes we think, expecting the New Year to bring of communication open to about a fresh new start full of happiness, TWO: Kick the Habit us these days we don’t have healthiness, and dreams come true.

Whether it’s stopping smoking, banishing binge drinka plausible excuse for failing to Olyming, jettisoning the junk food, choosing not to chew get in touch with old friends.

Why is it that after twelve shor t months p i c your fingernails, or even pledging not to pick your Another thing: socialising with most of us have completely forgotten what basketball nose when you’re stopped at traffic lights (really people will mean you have less consistently occurs at the beginning of evteam; the anything that is detrimental to your health and/ time to sit in the dark and overery year? By around 3rd January, reality chances are or makes you feel ashamed or guilty), defeatthink things, which can only be a donkey-kicks us in the head with its freshly you’re not going bad habits does wonders for your selfgood thing. polished hooves after cruelly watching us ing to construct esteem. A sense of achievement boosts frolic about happily for two and a half a working time mayour confidence tenfold, and therefore aldays, full of misguided optimism. Yes, as chine in the near fulows you to successfully accomplish your FOUR: Be Kind to soon as we realise that the ‘new’ year ture (unless you already goals with a clear conscience and a is merely a continuation of the bleakOthers have and you’re back for healthier mindset. ness of December, we tend to come It’s cool to be kind. Being altruistic has a ‘flying visit’, in which case, back down to ear th with a heavy been proven to promote a sense of fulI have so many questions for thump… and stay there – slumped THREE: fillment. In 1979 psychologists coined the you); and sadly, it is highly unover a cup-a-soup – for the foreterm ‘helpers’ high’ to describe the happy likely that you will ever win the Reconnect seeable. feeling we get from doing nice things for othlottery, so stop putting all your enResearch suggests that Having said that, why on ers. When we perform an act of kindness ergy into willing it to happen, because a lack of strong social ear th shouldn’t this year be our brains produce dopamine, which is linked to if it does it’ll most probably be when bonds is bad for your the year that all your resopositive thinking. Is there someone in your life you’re least expecting it (i.e. when you’ve health, and that lutions remain resolute? who could do with cheering up? Do something misplaced your ticket). people with solApar t from your listless nice for them. Their gratitude (and your very own But, let’s not spend any more time dwellid friendships and long-neglected willbrain) will in turn give you a happiness boost. ing on what you can’t do and instead focus on generally live power, there’s little stopall the things you can achieve in the next twelve longer, ping you from achieving months. The rest of this ar ticle will serve as your h a pp i e r FIVE: Be Kind to Yourself your goals, as long as very own 7-step guide to personal improvement in lives. If Silence that negative self-talk for once and for all. Don’t the goals you’ve cho2015, and beyond! there pretend you don’t recognise it – that voice in your head sen are not TOO uni s that says things like ‘you’re embarrassing yourself again’, realistic. For exam‘you’re so bad at dancing’, and ‘everyone is looking at your ONE: Get in shape ple: if you’re seven muffin top, you big whale’. Studies show that excessive It’s at the top of most people’s to do lists, but it tends to get feet tall you’re not self back talk is linked to higher stress levels and depression. shunned to the back by more immediate menial tasks like ‘do the going to cut it as Work on replacing the negative comments with encouraging shopping’, ‘pay the electric’ or ‘get a bloody haircut’.

The thought a professional suggestions that will spark your motivation. Instead of ‘you of getting in shape usually puts the fear into us, as we automatically jockey; similarly, look like a blimp’, try, ‘you could do with working out a bit picture ourselves spending every waking moment at the gym, winkif you’re built more… Let’s give it a go’. Think about it like this: you are the ing in the mirror whilst flexing our post-workout pecs à la the cast like a hobone person you have to spend all your time with, so be a bit of Jersey Shore. You’ve probably heard this a million and one times, bit, you’re nicer. If the self-trash talk comes creeping back in, listen to but it’s true, so once more won’t hur t… every little helps; you don’t not going ‘I Am What I Am’ at full volume. need to push yourself to the absolute extreme in order to keep fit. to qualify Exercise constitutes anything that gets you up and about – from for your going up and down the stairs more than once a day, to running a counSIX: Do not Worry half marathon on your lunch break. Simply being active is what it’s try’s Stress is the enemy. When you feel worried and all about, so even if you alter your daily routine in the smallest way stressed, who you gonna call? Stress Busters! But to make room for 10 minutes of gentle exercise, you’ll notice a difthose guys never pick up the phone. Actually, you ference. For a star t, you’ll have the energy to fit more activities into have to rely on yourself to combat stress. It’s easy your day, and that’s bound to improve your mood. Take it slowly to let things get on top of you, so every once in a to star t with and soon you’ll be actively looking for more ways to while be sure to take some time for yourself. So exercise. Your primary goal is to rid yourself of that sluggish feeling; page 50 | gnimag.com

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many of us don’t allocate time for just sitting back and relaxing. Removing yourself from the situations that stress you out will help you process your thoughts, giving you a chance to identify what exactly is causing you to worry so much. In a peaceful, comfor table environment, try to calmly figure out practical solutions to your problems‌ and never underestimate the power of pampering – a bubble bath, a facemask, and your favorite album are the best antidote for stress.

SEVEN: Be Happy

Recent research in the field of happiness (sounds like a nice place to spend the day) suggests that an individual’s happiness is 50% genetic, 10% circumstantial, and 40% intentional.

This means that you have more control over your own happiness than you probably realised‌ win! Research also suggests that a focus on intrinsic values (things like compassion, strong relationships, personal growth, and healthiness) is more likely to breed happiness than a focus on extrinsic values (things like image, success, popularity, and power). Empathy, gratitude, and altruistic gestures are key components of an overall feeling of So happiness, and are largely independent of wealth, social status, and public recognition. Caring about things that are bigger there than you can put life in perspective and create a greater y o u sense of community and belonging. Implementing positive h a v e change also contributes to your overall happiness‌ after it: your all; variety is the spice of life! To avoid your daily routine n o t q u itebecoming stale, change something. A change as simple definitive guide and as trivial as taking a different route to work, rearto self-improveranging the furniture in your living room, or trying out ment in 2015. a new recipe, will boost positivity. One more thing – Remember, if you don’t forget to smile. It sounds cheesy, but it really don’t stick to your will make a positive impact on your day, and on the resolutions, achieve people around you. Smiling releases endorphins your goals, or feel any that act as natural painkillers and reduce cor tisol better about yourself (‘the stress hormone’). And anyway, laughter at the beginning of Janulines are far more attractive than a big old ary,

by February, or even wrinkly forehead. come mid-November, don’t worry‌ there’s always next year. Or – here’s a novel idea – you could simply try and star t again tomorrow. Why wait another 11 months and 28 days? Get back on that horse, brave soldier!

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WHITES THE NEW OLD FAVOURITE

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Looking for somewhere new to go out in Belfast? Look no further than Whites Tavern. Yes, we know, it’s not strictly ‘new’… it’s the opposite, in fact. The well loved venue was established way back in 1630, but this historic tavern has recently been given a new lease of life…

Business par tners Michael Boyle and Jim Crawford have recently taken over Whites with the aim to create a modern, urban space within the historic venue. For over a decade, Michael and Jim have successfully managed well-known venues around Belfast such as Kremlin, Limelight, and Stiff Kitten, so it’s safe to say they know what they’re doing. Whites Tavern is the first venture under their new company, BCD Events Ltd.. They’ve done a superb job, managing to both respect the venue’s heritage and create a sophisticated yet fun space

for Belfast’s discerning pub and club crowd. The upstairs room has been successfully modernised and exudes an effor tlessly cool, contemporary vibe. Interior designer Timmy White of Ger trude Anna Interiors has decorated the intimate space with delightful and unusual trinkets, which complement retro and upcycled furniture such as crate stools, office lamps, and old wooden school chairs.

Industrial materials like brickwork, metal wire, and coloured woods mix with all-impor tant homely touches including framed paintings, photo collages, and... dinosaurs! The end result is a vibrant, urban-inspired, eclectic and cheerful watering hole.

Whites used to be home to Belfast’s gay night, Slosh, which took place every Wednesday (and has long since moved to The Shoe Factory). Michael and Jim have now brought the rainbow back to Whites, and in doing so they’ve added another great night to Belfast’s

thriving gay scene. SINK (Straight In No Kissing… we LOVE the name!!!) is a new monthly alternative gay night where you can hear all your favourite indie anthems, as well as hip-hop beats, and dance and disco classics. Michael and Jim have also launched Sore Feet: a weekly club night that plays a massive mix of fantastic music and takes place every Saturday. The team star ted taking bookings for comedy nights and local ar tist EP launches very early on, so there already promises to be a huge variety of acts and performances going on for you all to enjoy.

Co owner Jim Crawford commented, “as Michael and I are both gay, we really wanted to launch a gay night here at Whites, as we both have fond memories of coming here when we were slightly younger on Wednesday nights. As gay men, it is impor tant to us that our local community knows that Whites is gay friendly and a safe venue where

everyone, regardless of orientation, is welcome.”

SINK was launched on Friday 21st November during the Outburst Festival, while Sore Feet began on Saturday 1st November. Michael and Jim “have lots of really cool plans for SINK and for Whites” and they are both “very excited about it!”

The new room is available to hire for private parties and events. Contact Michael and Jim at BCD Events Ltd. on 02890 312 582 or office@whitesbelfast.com for further information.

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Ember Jewellery The Wedding Ring Studio First Floor, 37 Queen Street Belfast, N. Ireland BT1 6EA Phone: 028 9543 7005 Mob: 079 7583 9454 www.emberjewellery.com

. . . . . . o s t i I liked

I put a ring on it.

So, it’s been over five years and I thought it was time I finally made an honest man of him. We have a pretty cool life. We live together, we have two kids, a great group of friends, and jobs we enjoy. We’d spoken a couple of years ago about tying the knot but at the time, financially, it wouldn’t have worked. Recently a friend of mine died and it gave me the push that I needed; you just never know when your time’s up.

I wasn’t sure what the protocol was with us gay guys – who gets the ring? I decided, for our situation, that I’d get him the ring. I knew I wanted something different and I’d liked the idea of being par t of the process of designing and making it. After asking around the office, my colleague told me that one of our regular suppor ters at GNI, Cyril at Ember Jewellery, offers that service.

I phoned and made an appointment to go in and see him for a coffee and a chat.

Ember is located in Belfast city centre so it was easy to find. It’s not what I’d expected. I thought I’d be going to a flashy jewellery showroom – it couldn’t be fur ther from that. It’s Cyril’s workshop, so all around me I could see tubs of different metals and stones etc., and there were three workstations with bits and pieces

sent off for completion.

I got the call about a week later to say that the ring was ready for collection. I brought my daughter with me and we picked it up. I was amazed and so proud of how good it looked – and I was the one who made it!! I’d booked dinner for that evening at our favourite restaurant, and that’s where I presented him with the ring.

everywhere – I immediately felt at ease.

Cyril pulled over a chair for me and we got to chatting about what I wanted. He began to sketch while I talked and after about an hour we agreed on a design. He worked out the cost and I agreed that we should go with it. We arranged a date for the following week when I would go in and make the actual ring.

The day arrived and I was pretty excited. Cyril opened a brand new black apron with the Ember logo embroidered on it, and I put it on. We set to work. The design we’d come up with was a mixture of gold and palladium with three inset diamonds. First we bent the two strips of metal into a very rough ring shape. After welding them shut we hammered them to an approximate size. Then we placed the gold ring inside the palladium one and welded them together. I think using the big blowtorch was the manliest thing I’ve ever done, lol. After that we cut the ring and inser ted the bit that would hold the diamonds. After some final resizing, sanding and polishing, the ring was ready for the diamonds. As this is a specialist job, it was gnimag.com | page 55

Project2:Layout 1

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Public Public house PUBLIC house HOUSE and and AND BEER GARDEN live venue LIVEmusic MUSIC VENUE live music venue A Corner Pub. No Themes. No Gimmicks A Corner Pub. No Themes. No Gimmicks (but a wee bit pink) (but a wee bit pink) 65 Union Street, Belfast | Tel: 028 9023 2474 65 Union Street, Belfast | Tel: 028 9023 2474

The Cruise ...We sent Fred to the Med...

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Going on a cruise is something I have considered doing for some time now, and after receiving an invitation to take part in La Demence Cruise 2014, I didn’t have to think too hard about accepting. The waiting and anticipation seemed endless. The gym training for a leaner, fitter physique was almost unbearable, but finally my time did come. For me the journey started with the late night coach trip to Dublin Airport to catch an early morning flight to Marseille where I would board the ship. Travelling all night was no problem. I never even thought of sleep as my holiday was approaching hour by hour, minute by minute.

SATURDAY Marseille was warm, bright and very sunny. A shor t taxi journey took me to The Zenith, a beautiful cruise ship. I star ted the boarding procedure along with approximately 1,800 other guys – all of us ready to enjoy some sunshine, culture, enter tainment, and of course, the odd social gathering.

Once aboard the ship we were all shown up to deck II where we were invited to have some welcome drinks and get to know each other. At this point any thoughts and worries about being a single traveller vanished as I realised it was going to be a very enjoyable week. With some introductions completed I made my page 58 | gnimag.com

way to my cabin, which was an extremely comfor table room with all I could ever require, including a welcome bottle of bubbly.

More alcohol!

Time to explore! After all the necessary safety procedures were finished I made my way through the ship’s corridors and landings. I came across one of the dining rooms where the cruise passengers could enjoy anything from a slice of pizza to a five-course meal. I have never seen so much food, all of which looked amazing!

The enter tainment that was organised for each afternoon and night was always themed, and star ted off with a military night. Well wor th a look, I thought, and my goodness, was I right! As the ship sailed from Marseille into the night the music boomed out and the majority of the passengers were on deck. Par ty time had arrived! The first of several, I might add.

SUNDAY Although the next day was slightly overcast it was a good oppor tunity to laze about the deck and catch up on some much needed sleep. As it was to be a day ‘at sea’ all I had to do was explore the gift shops, try a few spa treatments and chat with some of the other guys, all of whom were doing much the same. Apar t from the Jacuzzi and sauna, the gym experience could wait until another day! The first of the ‘ten dances’ or afternoon par ties was another exciting experience; themed again,

Every day the par ty had a different theme.

Pictured above is the “Show Your Nation” par ty where everyone flew the flag for their country.

of course. This one was called ‘Show Your Nation’ – an amazing display of flags and costumes. After taking par t in a singles dining experience in the evening I made my way to the impressive theatre where I enjoyed a fantastic, well produced show full of variety and enter tainment before another eventful night par tying into the wee small hours.

MONDAY Our itinerary for the week was varied with each por t of call being individual in its own way. Our first stop was Por tovenere, located on the Italian coast; a charming resor t with plenty of sights to see while the ship took a rest for the day.

Back on board that evening we set off on a cooler blustery evening for our next destination, although we had to change course slightly to avoid a bad storm that was brewing in our path.

TUESDAY After a pleasant evening spent voting for Mr Cruise, we arrived in Ajaccio off the island of Corsica. I took this oppor tunity to take a small boat to Cinque Terre (five lands) to explore the beautiful villages of Monterosso al Mare, Vernazza, Corniglia, Manarolo and Riomaggiore. After what felt like no time

WEDNESDAY Our second day ‘all at sea’ was a scorcher. Truly a day to lie out, sunbathe, and relax all day before preparing for Disco Fever which had some of the most lavish and flamboyant costumes I had ever seen.

The thought and effor t that went into this event made it one of the most outstanding of the trip.

THURSDAY The following morning was perhaps even hotter than the day before and with an all day trip to Palma to look forward to it

wonderful city, making sure I left time for a visit to the breathtaking cathedral.

FRIDAY Our full day in Palma meant a late depar ture as we set sail again, this time for Mahon in Menorca, which I discovered to be a charming and unspoiled locality; the perfect place for a leisurely, easy day. The days and nights had passed by so quickly and here it was: Friday night – the last one, the big one. Sadly there was no par tying until daybreak this time, so everyone was out in force to enjoy the last night, and what a night is was! The time flew by and all too soon myself and my travelling companions were sober and sombre-faced in the lounge area, waiting to leave our temporary home for the final time.

Everyone flocked to the top deck for the White Par ty on the Tuesday evening.

To sum up the amazing week, words such as fabulous, magnificent, and exciting come to mind. I have never experienced such a well-organised and enjoyable adventure. The guys on board the ship from La Demence and the ship’s staff were so friendly and helpful. Nothing was too much trouble or bother, and the variety of themed nights meant there was something to suit everyone’s taste. With all the cabaret, the shows, the casino, the spa facilities, and the par ties, there was so much to do and so little time! On top of that, the food, the service, and the atmosphere were second to none. It was a truly memorable holiday experience; one that I will not forget! Without a doubt though, my lasting memory would have to be the friendship of all the guys on board.

Friends made for life.

La Demence Cruise 2015 will take place from 18th – 25th July, leaving from and returning to Barcelona. Do yourself a favour and book yourself on board!

France Spain Corsica at all, I was back on the ship and ready to set sail once again. Later on, at around midnight, the majority of passengers gathered on the top deck in their finest, whitest costumes for the brilliant White Par ty.

was en early star t for all. Although I had visited Palma before, I had a great oppor tunity to spend my day there exploring the

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If you are planning your big day, thinking about popping the question, or just daydreaming about your perfect wedding, take inspiration from Samuel and Paul, who tied the knot in October 2012. We wanted to know every single detail...

How did you meet?

PAUL: We meet through a mutual friend called Peter. I had returned to Belfast after studying in Chester for four years. I was to take up a new job in Prague in two months.

Our mutual friend Peter asked me to go with him to Union Street for a few beers one Thursday night and he introduced me to Sammy. It was just a quiet night but we hit it off really well and chatted all night.

After that night Sammy asked Peter for my number and we then went on a number of dates and the rest is history!

How far into your relationship did you decide you wanted to get married?

PAUL: We had been going together for three years when Sammy asked me to marry him. By this point we had already bought our second house together so were already really settled in the relationship.

Was there a proposal?

SAMMY: I proposed to Paul at Silent Valley in County Down. Paul had no idea; it was a complete surprise for him. When I got down on one knee he first thought I was joking, until I showed him the engagement rings.

Did you have an engagement party?

We had engagement par ty with lots of family and friends at our house in Ballynure. It was a great night.

Did you have stag dos?

We had a joint “fag do” in Letterkenny, with about 25 friends, great craic with plenty of sore heads over the weekend.

Where did you get the rings?

Gardener Brothers Belfast.

Did you both agree on the style of your special day, or were there any arguments over planning?

We both agreed that we didn’t want a girly wedding but rather something more modern and masculine.

We are very lucky to have a suppor tive family around us that helped us throughout the whole planning process gnimag.com | page 63

Did either of you turn into Bridezilla?

PAUL: Sammy had a few Bridezilla moments!

Did you encounter any problems when planning your wedding?

We had very few problems planning the big day; it takes a lot of time and organisation.

When was your wedding?

6th October 2012.

How did you go about sourcing your wedding suppliers?

Galgorm Resor t & Spa provided us with a list of suppliers that they highly recommend. Some of the things like stationary and music we chose based on advice from family and friends.

Did you do anything a little bit differently to the traditional wedding day?

PAUL: We didn’t want a traditional wedding, but rather a relaxed day that everyone would be able to enjoy. For that reason we had a lot of enter tainment throughout the page 64 | gnimag.com

day, with singers during both the ceremony and the drinks reception.

We also hired a magician to mingle with the guests. After the meal we had ‘camouflage enter tainers’, which went down really well, only Sammy knew about it so it was a surprise to everyone including me. Again, after the meal we had live music in the bar as the other main band got set up in the function room, and once the band finished playing we had a DJ play late into the night.

Did you use wedding stationery/ favours?

Our wedding stationery was supplied by a local company called ‘The White Letter’. Kerry is really creative and didn’t stop until the designs were perfect.

For our wedding favours we donated money to the Rainbow Project and everyone at the wedding received a Rainbow Flag lapel pin.

Where was the ceremony held, and why did you choose that place?

The civil par tnership ceremony was held in the Phantom House at the

Galgorm Resor t & Spa. We loved the setting with the river in the background, and the room had plenty of character And where did the reception take place?

We had the reception at the newly refurbished Four Season Suite at Galgorm Resor t & Spa; this was actually only the second venue we looked at, but once we saw it we knew that it was the perfect place for us. It was new and modern, and the room was the right size for the numbers we wanted.

How many guests did you have at your wedding?

120 day guests.

What kind of food did you have, and who did the catering?

Galgorm catered for the wedding and we served soup, sirloin of beef or chicken, and a selection of deser ts.

Who did you have as entertainment?

We used ‘Ryan Hanna Music’ during the ceremony and the drinks recep-

tion, and then again in the bar after the meal. As well as the magician during the drinks reception, and ‘Cameoflage Enter tainers’ during the meal, we had the band ‘Screaming iPods’ at the reception, and ‘InTheMix DJing’ for the last par t of the night.

Did you hire a videographer?

Yes, we hired Ken Smith, a local videographer.

What was the highlight of your day?

The highlight was having our family and friends there to celebrate the big day.

What was the funniest part of the day?

PAUL: The funniest par t of the day was when the head chief came out of the kitchen to say a few words, as it was his last night, and then he burst into song! Only Sammy knew that the chef was actually a Cameoflage performer; he had booked them to burst out before the deser ts where served. During his first song I turned to Sammy and said, “I presume you know about this”.

gnimag.com | page 65

the

List

Cars/transport: used our own cars.

Rings: Gardiner Brothers www.gardinerbrothers.co.uk Service Music: Ryan Hanna Music Tel: 07746844834 Email: ryanhannamusic@gmail.com Suits/Men’s Clothes: Red Grooms www.redgrooms.co.uk Hair/Makeup: Pamela Wilson at Faith Hair & Nail ballyclare Accessories: Altered Image www.alteredimage.org Venue: Galgorm Resor t & Spa Venue Styling: Altered Image Cake: Cakes of Gold Catering: Galgorm Resor t & Spa Flowers: Sally Flowers Stationery: The White Letter hello@thewhiteletter.com www.thewhiteletter.com Favours: Rainbow Project Videography: Ken Smith Photography: David McClean www.davidmcclean.co.uk Honeymoon (package/company): Alison McDonald, Tel: 07739 456291 Email: alisonbst@gmail.com Gift List: House Of Frazer Entertainment: Ryan Hanna Music Tel: 07746844834 Email: ryanhannamusic@gmail.com / Cameoflage http://www.cameoflage.com/ Screaming IPods / Inthemix DJ Planners: Catrina Collins page 66 | gnimag.com

After his second song, the waitress that had just topped up our wine glasses also burst into song. It was such a surprise but the atmosphere in the room was amazing, everyone was on their feet.

What song did you choose for your first dance?

Use somebody by Kings of Leon (slow version).

Do you have a lot of photographs?

David McClean our photographer was great; he took 500 amazing photos. He has a wealth of experience and was able to capture the cheerful atmosphere on the day.

Did you have a honeymoon? If so, where?

We spent a fantastic three weeks travelling across California and Nevada in the USA. It was a great experience. We visited San Diego, LA, Las Vegas, Disney, San Francisco and other towns in between. Alison McDonald from Bryan Somers Travel was amazing in helping us plan our honeymoon, she organised flights, hotels and car rental. Knowing it was all planned made the trip even more relaxing and enjoyable.

If you could do it all over again, would you change anything?

Nothing, it was the best day ever!

How are you enjoying married life?

Married life is great when you marry your best friend and soul mate. We continue to live in our forever house in Ballynure with our two dogs Dolly and Sadie. We still like to spend a lot of time with our friends and love to par ty so find we spend many weekends at our apar tment in Belfast.

A big thank you to Samuel and Paul for sharing their happy memories with us!

page 68 | gnimag.com

COMING OUT Malachai O’Hara

I was in Birmingham studying from 1998 until 2003. I’d gone to university away from home not to go away and ‘be gay’, but because my older siblings had done it and they told me it was a brilliant experience and really good for their independence.

During the course of my first year I star ted coming to terms with my sexual orientation, and I met a guy and fell in love. I was with him for two and a half years, and over that period I star ted coming out to friends in England, and to some of my siblings. I suppose I really properly came out when I returned home in May 2003 and told my parents that September. I’d been intending to tell them for months and months but it never felt like it was the right time, and there was always a reason to excuse it and avoid doing it. The day I finally did do it, we were having a family dinner on a Sunday. My siblings were there with their par tners and their children, and we were in the front room having a little drink after dinner. I’m quite a hard person, not in an aggressive sense, but hard as in I’m very much in control of my emotions. I went upstairs to prepare myself and I got a shaky lip for the first time in my life! I was really struggling to talk, but I managed to say ‘Mum, Dad, I have something to tell you.’ I had preempted my siblings so they knew what I was going to say. Each one of them filed out of the room and gave me a hug on their way out. I could see my parents’ faces

drop; they must have been thinking ‘what on ear th is he about to say!’ I said ‘Look, the reason I came home from England was to come out and be honest about who I am; I’m gay’. My Dad looked quite shocked and my Mum said ‘Right.’ The rest of the conversation is a bit of a blur, but their reaction wasn’t negative. There was a funny moment when my Dad said, ‘I thought you were going to tell me that Catherine was pregnant!’ Catherine was a friend of mine who I’d been hanging out with a lot at the time. Overall they took it quite well, and I suppose from there on in we went on a bit of a journey – for the next year or so my parents and I had some difficulties. I don’t think I had fully accepted who I was; I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder, and they were uncomfor table talking about it, which made things difficult. It took a bit of time, but I’m very blessed now in that my parents are great; they’re very accepting. I moved in with my par tner a couple of years ago and my parents helped us with the move. They treat him like they would any of my siblings’ par tners, like a par t of the family. My Mum is very fond of my par tner.

I think, as LGBT people, we go on our own journey to try and identify and come to terms with who we are, and sometimes we just expect our parents to understand that immediately. I think that what we need to be conscious of is holding their hand through the journey of accepting the person their child is. My work allows me the privi-

lege of knowing that not everyone is as lucky as I have been. I work for the Rainbow Project and I understand that people’s circumstances are individual and that it can be very difficult, but the key to making a journey smoother is communication, and being open, and being honest. It’s impor tant for us to tell people that we’re not ashamed of who we are.

As for the ‘gay scene’ in Belfast, I’ve been out a bit. I’d done a lot of par tying in Birmingham, where there is quite a big gay scene; there’s 8 or 9 clubs, a few gay bars, some women’s only bars, a couple of saunas, and the three universities there have LGBT societies. I was in my late teens/early twenties back then so I’d kind of already done a lot of my par tying by the time I came home. It’s interesting that I met my par tner at a lesbian night! If we get married, during the toast I’ll have to say ‘thank God for lesbians!’ Otherwise we wouldn’t have met each other.

I’ve been really lucky; I’ve never had a negative reaction to my face. I would be quite physically affectionate with my par tner and I don’t think that I should have to hide that as a gay person. Sometimes I think that as a community we kind of hide under the veneer of ‘I’m not a physically affectionate person’, but there’s maybe something more going on due to internalised homophobia – maybe some of us are a bit ashamed about our relationships in a public setting. I’m not, and I’ve experienced some street harassment because of that. gnimag.com | page 69

But if that happens, it’s imperative that we repor t it to the police as a hate incident. It’s so impor tant because the police don’t get an accurate picture that this is an everyday experience for a lot of LGBT people. So repor t, repor t, repor t.

Aside from that I can’t think of a time when I’ve had an over tly negative reaction. Sometimes when I say where I work people make a presumption, but the good thing about the Rainbow Project is that we have straight people working for us too.

In terms of coming out, Harvey Milk always talked about it being our most impor tant and powerful political tool.

When people know us, when they’re related to us, when they work with us, when they’re friends with us, when they live in our street, and when they do business with us, they know us; they know LGBT people. It’s that knowing someone that kills classical ignorance and it means that people then begin to suppor t our rights and our equality. Anybody who knows an LGBT person tends to be suppor tive. The challenge for us as LGBT people, as par t of our continuing journey to equality, is to be out, and be visible. It’s hard, and some people can’t be because the pressures and the difficulties are too much. For those of us who can be, for those of us who are in that place, there’s an onus on us to be civically responsible: to be out and to be visible.

page 70 | gnimag.com

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SERIOUSLY THO...

Don’t Forget Those in Need This Christmas

Back in late October, I had the honour of co-hosting the 10th Annual Mr Gay Ireland & Mr Gay Northern Ireland Grand Finals in Dublin, where I met over fifteen talented, charming and truly brilliant finalists at the Gibson Hotel. While I was expecting a fun night – which it definitely was – I was also shocked at something.

Some of the younger guys – early to mid twenties – spoke about the severe and traumatic homophobic bullying they had experienced growing up. While I won’t go into specific detail out of respect, one par ticular contestant had his life put in deadly danger – literally – by the bullies in his school, simply because he was gay. This guy’s story wasn’t entirely unique, as similarly horrific events happened to quite a few of the guys who stood up on stage that night. What shocked me was that we’re not talking about events that took place many years ago. This happened in the 21st Century, many years after decriminalisation of homosexuality in either Nor thern Ireland or the Republic. Homophobic (and transphobic) bullying is still happening.

That was, to me, an all-too-impor tant reason why the LGBT community needs to rally round more often to suppor t our LGBT charities, whether it’s Mr Gay Nor thern Ireland, GLYNI, BeLonG To, The Rainbow Project, Marriage Equality, or any of the many other not-for-profit groups. We cannot call ourselves a community if we do not suppor t each other in times of need, and as those young men showed the crowd at Mr Gay Ireland, there are still many LGBT people in need of suppor t.

So, this Christmas time, don’t forget that there are many others worse off than you, or that some may not have a family to spend Christmas with. This is especially true of others in the LGBT community. Maybe, if you can, spare a few hours and volunteer for your local LGBT helpline or community group, whether that’s in Belfast, Derry/Londonderry, Strabane, Newry or even south of the border. Christmas is about coming together, celebrating our family, friends and loved ones, and most of all, putting a smile on someone else’s face.

Merry Christmas. / Nollaig Shona.

Scott De Buitléir is founder & editor of EILE Magazine, available online at eile.ie

page 72 | gnimag.com

4 6 5 43 1 028 9 0

Wishing all the GNI readers a very very happy Christmas and a prosperous new year.

GNI property

EAST SIDE

gnimag.com | page 75

As a Belfast City Boy myself, my Grindr is chockablock with people living in the East, it seems to be the side of the town popular with many in our community. Living there myself I know I chose it because of its close proximity to the city without being smack bang in the middle of it. I love how I’m within walking distance of a whole host of cafes, restaurants and bars. There are local boutique, independent shops on my doorstep and for those of you who like a dander there are a number of walkways and parks.

In this issue of GNI we take a look at 51 Nevis Avenue, as you can see from the photos, from the outside this looks like any other traditional Belfast page 76 | gnimag.com

“workers” terrace. Step through the front door and you’ll be instantly and pleasantly surprised by this proper ty. The current owner has spent a substantial amount of time and money turning this into a contemporary city pad.

Most of the downstairs internal walls have been removed, leaving a great big bright living/ dining space with solid wooden floors, large bay window, and a french door leading outside.

Cleverly, the kitchen has been kept separate from the living room, meaning that noises can be blocked out, but, of course, it means that we can all still migrate to the kitchen at par ties! The kitchen itself has a warm, homely feel whilst also looking very sleek with its five-ring stainless steel hob, funky round stainless steel sink and matching

separate draining board, and the shiny black work surface.

Head up the stairs to the rear return and you’ll find the bathroom where there’s more than enough room to swing a cat (we do not condone this activity however). A separate shower cubicle makes getting ready in the morning easy. There’s a stylish wall hung semi pedestal wash hand basin and for those who sometimes like a bit of company in the bath, it’s double ended - the taps are in the middle so nobody gets poked in the back.

There are two bedrooms in this home (one at the front and one at the back), both of which are capable of housing a double bed. And as an added bonus there’s a closeted staircase

leading up to the attic room. The possiblities up here are endless; you could use it as a dressing area, somewhere to work from, or just as extra storage.... anything your hear t desires.

All in all this is a great house, handy to the city centre for getting taxis home at the weekend or jumping on the bus to get into work during the week.

This home is currently on the market with Milk Estates (028) 9065 4314 for ÂŁ99,950. Call them to arrange a viewing.

gnimag.com | page 77

TEST DRIVE

Guilietta

For the test drive in this issue I went to Richard in Donnelly’s Mallusk and told him I wanted to break from the norm and feature my own car. I bought my Alfa Romeo Giulietta in May this year and from the moment I sat in it, I fell in love.

I’ve driven literally all types and makes of cars over my 15 years or so driving. I’ve owned about 25 different models (I get bored easily) - everything from star ter cars, executive cars, jeeps, hatchbacks, estates, petrols and diesels. Before the Giulietta my two immediately previous cars were page 78 | gnimag.com

the uber cool Fiat 500’s. My car is in effect the second car in our home; my boyfriend Darren has the “big car” that we would usually have used as a family when ferrying the kids about. But I fancied a change and wanted something a bit bigger myself.

Like the little geek that I am, I sat down one evening and wrote out a list. I’m pretty fussy so I knew what I wanted, and that was a car that I’d keep past the eight month mark. I wanted a bigger car that still looked like a spor ty three door; I wanted a car with five seats but with enough room so that my son wouldn’t spend every jour-

ney kicking me in the back of my seat; I needed a car that had a high spec Bluetooth system built in, not only for my music but because I do a lot of business on the phone when I’m driving; and as it was our second car it needed to be cost effective, not too expensive on repayments, petrol, or tax.

Lastly, I had to feel good driving the car... it had to be a bit of a head turner.

I went to Donnelly’s and presented my wish list.

Because of the range of brands they deal in, I knew that in one of their branches they would have the right car for me. We bandied about a few different cars and I test drove about five. None

of them got a look in once I sat in the Giulietta.

On the outside the “hidden” doorhandles on the back doors make it look like a spor ty three door, the big headlights on the front look like big sexy eyes and the bonnet swoops down in a distinctive ‘V’. The front numberplate offset to the side looks super stylish too. At the back, the lighting cluster is uniquely shaped and has a gorgeous LED swirly breaklight. Another great design touch is the button that opens the boot - it’s disguised within the Alfa Romeo badge.

I got into the car and sat behind the wheel.

The interior is edgy and refined. An easy to read

dashboard displays all the usual, as well as a screen detailing your phone and onboard computer system. The enter tainment system is a touch screen affair with everything from radio, phone and sat nav – all of this can also be navigated using the buttons on the steering wheel. The front seats are comfor table with plenty of room and there’s also an armrest for added comfor t. In the back the split rear seat holds three with ample legroom, and it also seems a bit higher than the front seats; this is great for passengers in the back, giving them a better viewing position.

Out on the road this car is a great drive. It

feels sturdy and safe. There is a DNA switch in the car for changing driving modes, “D” is the dynamic mode - you immediately feel the lift in power when using this (it’s great for showing off when my mates are in the car), “N” is for normal day-to-day driving, and “A” stands for all weather (handy in the snow). The six-speed gearbox is great for motorway driving, yet the car is nippy for city driving too.

In the end, obviously I chose the Giulietta. I’m glad I did. It’s a beautiful car. Stylish and sleek.

Spor ty and safe. It’s a car to be proud of.

gnimag.com | page 79

DATING

SURVIVING CHRISTMAS SINGLE

Meet Greg, GNI magazine’s resident serial dater. In each issue Greg drags you kicking and screaming through the ups and downs of his latest dates. In this issue he offers advice on surviving Chrismas single......

Christmas is the most disingenuous time of the year. You all say ‘Merry Christmas’ I say ‘Pass the Vodka’… it’s the season during which we go against the grain of human nature and spend 12 days being pleasant to those people we have managed to avoid for an entire year. It’s a bit ritualistic really – you approach that Aunty you absolutely despise (you know the sor t; when your Mum tells you she’s passed away, establishing who she actually is is like a game of guess who: ‘Has she got a ginger moustache?’) and you give her the gift you so emotionally invested your time into (the free one from the 3- 4- 2) and in passing over this terracotta mug complete with novelty sized garden shovel and sachet of tomato seeds, you have appeased your Aunty, and ritual now complete you will avoid each other for another entire year.

That’s just one exhausting par t of the Christmas period; you’re also going to have to explain to everyone why you have been so busy for every single second, minute, hour and day of the year that you haven’t had a single moment to call, text, Tweet, Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, Skype, Viber, or even Snapchat any page 80 | gnimag.com

of your relatives at all. You’ll find yourself saying, ‘believe it or not, I don’t actually use Facebook that much’ to be later found under the influence of alcohol checking in at the dinner table, stressing out over what filter to use for your dinner post on Instagram, Snapchatting a cracker pull and WhatsApping everyone in your contacts list ‘Happy Holidays’.

So whilst you absolutely despise the day, your social media alter ego wants everyone to think you’re a family-loving saint… yeah like I said, ‘disingenuous’.

Christmas is a pretty exhausting time of year so how do you cope with all of that and survive it being single? If you haven’t met someone by now it’s unlikely you will before Christmas, and you now have to face up to the fact that you might have a little cry when you walk into Clinton Cards and see their festive collection of couple cards, and possibly also fantasise about buying one. Well, stop wallowing in your self-pity and get ready to get your Holiday Swag on! Here are my TOP 5 reasons to be single at Christmas: ONE: You can be sarcastic and bitterly single to those hateful couples.

It’s tough to see all of your family & friends getting hitched when a year later you’re still on the shelf like a tin of own brand Christmas biscuits. But don’t sit there scrolling through Grindr, get a witty retor t ready for the new couple who can’t

wait to talk about the success of their relationship. For example, you could respond with: ‘I just don’t want to be one of those people who settle for second best’ then stare awkwardly at the couple with a pity face, you know the kind of pity face you make when you’re pretending to care about someone less for tunate than you – that one! Then finish with ‘I just love how you two work so hard to make a go of it, you go-getters.’

TWO: 1.8 million people contemplate divorce at Christmas.

OK, so isn’t that enough for you to stop moaning to your fag hag?

You’re presently in a situation where you get to make a Christmas list that basically revolves around you while 1.8 million people are thinking of making a list of who gets what as they go their separate ways. It’s time you stopped seeing every couple as happily ever after. ‘Bagsy the 60-inch Samsung Smar t TV’ THREE: You can kiss whoever you want under the mistletoe.

To every self-respecting gay couple, mistletoe is an addition to their already overly decorated home, but to you, my single friend, it’s the perfect oppor tunity to enhance your Christmas experience. Picture the scene: you bump into that beautiful person you’ve been lusting after and you lunge on them, what happens next? You get arrested. Now why don’t we rewind and add mistletoe… all of sudden sexual harassment be-

comes a holiday tradition. Perfect!

FOUR: You can eat what you want.

Who are you trying to impress this Christmas? No one. Open a selection box, or two, or three, eat more carbs and have stuffing with your stuffing. You’re single and you don’t need to pretend to fake that your body is a temple. Just remember though, if you don’t have the motivation to work it off in the New Year you might star t looking a like a ‘post-Britney Spears’ Kevin Federline.

FIVE: You can behave like a car crash celebrity.

You’re single and it’s the par ty season, why oh why would you complain? Get yourself looking smoking hot (add girdle if required) and ‘bring it’ to every single par ty you go to. Yes that’s right, swing from the chandelier; teach your Gran how to twerk; get drunk and fall asleep in the shower… the oppor tunities are endless when you’re single at a Christmas par ty. Misbehaviour at a Christmas par ty is also completely acceptable at your office par ty: it’s the one time of year HR won’t intervene, so take advantage and grope a colleague. Why not? It’s Christmas.* *Disclaimer: HR might very well intervene and this could lead to your summary dismissal. GNI takes no responsibility at all for your sexual deviance at your office par ty.

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A-Z A-Z OF SANTA

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-Z Ahh Santa, what a top bloke. Here’s what we know about the jolly, rotund, red-suited man…

A – ‘A Visit From St Nicholas’, a poem written

by Clement Moore in 1823, describes Santa as “a jolly old elf with cheeks like roses, his nose like a cherry and a little round belly that shook when he laughed like a bowl full of jelly.”

B – Because of time zone differences, Santa Claus actually has about 31 hours to deliver all those gifts every Christmas Eve.

C – Coca-Cola is widely purpor ted to be the first company to use an image of Santa for adver tising purposes. In actual fact, White Rock Beverages first used Santa to adver tise their mineral water in 1915 and later in 1923 to promote their ginger ale.

D – Derry City holds the Guinness World Record for the largest gathering of Santa Clauses. On 9th September 2007, a total of 12,965 people dressed up as Santa (and his helpers and reindeer) and took to the streets of the city.

J – James Edgar became the first ever depar t-

He had a reputation for giving gifts to those in need. St. Nicholas is the patron saint of banking, pawn broking, pirating, butchery, sailing, thievery, orphans, royalty, and New York City.

K – Kerstman (Netherlands), Father Christmas (UK), Pere Noel (France), Joulupukki (Finland), Weihnachtsmann (Germany), Babbo Natale (Italy), Hoteiosho (Japan), Julenissen (Norway), Sweity Mikolaj (Poland), Jultomten (Sweden), Kanakaloka (Hawaii), Viejo Pascuero (Chile), Papai Noel (Brazil) - Some names for Santa around the world.

T – To successfully deliver all his presents on

L – Lapland, where Santa’s workshop is widely

U – Unlike most other modern male cultural

M – Mrs. Claus first appeared in 1949 in a shor t story by John Rees entitled ‘A Christmas Legend’, putting an end to Santa’s days as a bachelor.

V – Viking God Odin is thought to be a precur-

ment store Santa Claus in Massachusetts in 1890, after he decided to dress up as the man in red as a marketing tool.

believed to be located, is in Finland. Finland is situated in the Arctic Circle, not in the Nor th Pole.

N – Norwegian scientists have hypothesised that

Rudolph’s shiny nose is most probably the result of a parasitic respiratory infection. Poor Ru.

E – Every year Santa Claus eats about 260 million calories in cookies and mince pies. No wonder he’s got a belly on him.

O – Ordinary non-flying reindeer can run up to a maximum speed of 15 miles per hour, which means Santa’s animals must be magic… or on steroids.

F – Fear of saints - including ol’ St Nick - is called

P – Pub-crawl ‘SantaCon’, which star ted in San

hagiophobia.

G – Green was the colour of Santa’s suit back when Santa was known as St. Nicholas, and back before he did all the really cool stuff he does now, like flying all over the world in a reindeer driven sleigh giving people presents.

H – Haddon Sundblom painted Santa in a red suit and a white beard for a Coca-Cola ad campaign in 1931. Sundblom modelled the image on retired salesman and friend, Lou Prentiss. Following the success of his Santa, Swedish ar tist Sundblom carried on creating ads for Coca-Cola for the next 35 years.

I – Indiana has a town called ‘Santa Claus’.

Apparently, the small town receives more than half a million ‘Dear Santa’ letters at Christmastime every year.

Francisco in 1994, now takes place in over 44 countries around the world. It’s basically a massive pub-crawl where par ticipants dress up as Santa Claus, elves, and reindeer, and get jolly drunk.

Christmas Eve (according to calculations on the internet… not done by us, we don’t have the brainpower) Santa has to travel at an average speed of 1,800 miles per second. To put that into perspective, a cheetah can travel at a maximum speed of 75 miles per hour, in shor t bursts, covering distances of up to 500m. Go Santa!

icons, “Santa does not carry a gun, and is all about peace, joy, giving, and caring for other people” – TV Producer and professional Santa Claus, Jonathan Meath.

sor to the modern day Santa Claus. According to myth, Odin rode an eight-legged flying horse called Sleipnir. During winter Odin gave out both gifts and punishments, and children would fill their stockings or boots with treats for Sleipnir.

W – Washington Irving was the first person to perpetuate the idea that Santa comes down chimneys to deliver gifts in his early 19th century satirical book, ‘A History of New York from the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dynasty’.

X – XM4 5HQ is the correct postcode to use when sending letters to Santa from Britain, according to the Royal Mail website. See for yourself: royalmail.com/letters-to-santa

Q – Queen Street, Auckland, has been home to a ‘Giant Santa’ ornament every Christmastime since 1960. Sadly, Giant Santa is no more as the cost of storing and installing him was this year deemed too high: $180,000! Three years ago Giant Santa won the prestigious title of ‘Creepiest Christmas Ornament’ by website cracked.com.

Y – “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus” is the

R – Reindeer Donner and Blitzen were originally named Dunder and Blixem in Clement C. Moore’s poem, ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’ (mentioned in Exhibit A). ‘Dunder’ and ‘Blixem’ derive from Germanic words meaning thunder and lightning.

Z – Zip Code HOH OHO is used when

famous reply given to 8-year-old Virginia O’Hanlon who wrote into The New York Sun in 1897 inquiring, “Is there is a Santa Claus?” The letter and its reply remain one of the most reprinted editorials ever in an English language newspaper.

contacting Santa from Canada.

S – St. Nicholas, the original Santa Claus, was

the Bishop of Myra in Anatolia (now Turkey), and was probably born around the year 270 AD.

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WHAT’S OCCURRING? News and events near you…

G-Spot, the newly refurbished clubroom at The Central Bar, Strabane, is now open!

The first floor of Whites Tavern in Belfast has recently been refurbished and is now open to the public. Nights include: monthly indie gay night ‘SINK’ (Straight in No Kissing), and weekly Saturday club night ‘Sore Feet’.

Filthy McNastys is hosting its very own Christmas Market behind the Secret Garden. There will be beer tents, mulled wines, hog roasts, and much more. Kicks off 5th December. Bookings available.

Joker Tattoo on Adelaide Street in Belfast is looking for a full time working tattoo artist with shop experience to join their team. If interested, email the studio on info@jokertattoo.co.uk.

A Magical Christmas Experience at Titanic Belfast, 22nd November – 23rd December. Adult £4, Child £15. A child (under 13) ticket includes a visit to Father Christmas, crafted gift, a souvenir photograph and ginger bread cookie. An adult ticket includes mulled wine and a mince pie.

Think Fit are opening a new studio in Bow Lane, Bow Street, Lisburn.

Crumlin Road Gaol in association with Love Weddings will bring you their 1st wedding show on Sunday 8th February 2015, 12-5pm, admission £5. There will be a wide range of wedding businesses to help with all your planning needs, plus the chance to win your wedding, and much, much more! If you are interested please contact info@loveweddingsni. co.uk for full details. page 84 | gnimag.com

Good friend of GNI, Michelle Visage is coming to Kremlin on 12th December. Make sure you meet RuPaul’s legendary BFF! Due to popular demand, Samantha Mumba is coming back to the Red Square stage in Kremlin on 6th December.

Elite Aesthetic Clinic in L/Derry celebrated its first birthday on 21st November with a champagne reception.

Mistletoe & Crime is showing at the Lyric Theatre, Belfast from 22nd November 2014 – 11th January 2015. In the play, two WPC’s try to keep order amongst the mayhem that is a Belfast Christmas. “T’was the night before Christmas the city is heavin’, there’s shoppin’ and gurnin’ and drinkin’ and thievin’…”

New Year Festival Dublin: The Ultimate New Year’s Eve Party! 30th Dec – 1st Jan 2015. Enjoy music and arts trails across the city, with live music in superb settings and international art and culture. Ring in the New Year at the Countdown Concert where headliners Kodaline will be joined by James Vincent McMorrow, Walking on Cars, The Dublin Legends, and The Whereabouts.

International Award Winning Salon Über Hair on the Lisburn Road in Belfast is now taking Christmas bookings, call 028 9066 2459 to avoid disappointment. ‘Repair’, ‘Hydrate’ and ‘Color Save’ System Professional Gifts Packs are also available in store.

The Belfast Continental Christmas Market runs from 15th November – 21st December this year. Beer tents and Bratwurst; what more could you want?!

Dublin City’s first ever traditional Christmas market runs from 13th November – 23rd December in St Stephen’s Green. Open daily from 12 noon – 8pm.

GNI’s very own Conleth Kane is performing at his very own concert, ‘All I want for Christmas’ on Sunday 21st December at 8pm in The Black Box in Belfast. Expect songs, anecdotes and Christmas cheer. Tickets £12.50 from www.blackboxbelfast.com.

The Front Lounge on Parliament Street in Dublin has undergone a major refurbishment. Go and check it out! Food served until 9pm.

See Panti Bliss’s hit comedy, ‘High Heels in Low Places’, at the Project Arts Centre, 39 East Essex Street, Temple Bar, Dublin. The show runs from 1st – 6th December: tickets €22, concessions €18.

A new beer garden has opened at The Sunflower Pub on Union Street in Belfast.

CONLETH RECOMMENDS Hey Everyone! Well it’s my favourite time of year and I am so delighted to be home in N. Ireland to celebrate Christmas with my family. Christmas movies and music are par tly the reason why the festive season is so full of nostalgia and memories. I, like everyone else, have a long list of favourites and thought I’d share with you the ones that are at the top of my list every year and why they are so special to me. If you haven’t seen or heard some of them, check them out and tweet me your thoughts. I have also included the movie and album that I am really excited about seeing/listening to this year. Thank you for all your lovely comments, tweets and emails in regards to my column this past year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all! xx Conleth MY TOP CHRISTMAS MOVIE - THE SNOWMAN My all-time favourite and without doubt one of the most beautiful pieces of animation ever made. Every year without fail I reserve one hour on the sofa to watch this on Channel 4. With no dialogue, the Snowman grabs your attention with its original story and beautiful score. My dad used to tell me when I was younger that I was the little boy in the story and I remember believing him. The beauty of being a child, eh? Illustrator Raymond Briggs and composer Howard Blake created magic with this piece. I love it just as much now as I did back then. I even love the sequel that was released two years ago, ‘The Snowman and the Snowdog’.

MY TOP CHRISTMAS ALBUM - NOEL (JOSH GROBAN) Like Mariah’s album, this also sits in the top three best-selling Christmas albums of all time. This album definitely takes a more traditional approach. Josh’s voice is like caramel and the arrangements and orchestrations on this album are pretty epic. My favourite tracks are ‘Petit Papa Noel’ and the Celtic inspired ‘Little Drummer Boy’. It’s pretty evident to see why the album has become so successful.

WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO - WALT DISNEY’S INTO THE WOODS Words cannot express how excited I am to see this! ‘Into the Woods’ by Stephen Sondheim (the man behind ‘Sweeney Todd’) is one of the greatest musicals ever written and is finally making it to the big screen this Christmas. It is a modern twist on several of the beloved Brothers Grimm fairy tales, inter twining the plots of a few choice stories and exploring the consequences of the characters’ wishes and quests. This humorous and hear tfelt musical follows the classic tales of Cinderella (Anna Kendrick), Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford), Jack and the Beanstalk (Daniel Huttlestone), and Rapunzel (MacKenzie Mauzy)—all tied together by an original story involving a baker and his wife (James Corden & Emily Blunt), their wish to begin a family, and their interaction with the witch (Meryl Streep) who has put a curse on them. Definitely one to watch!

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A Very Belfast Christmas Tale

The Magic Pasty Supper

by Jordan & Diona Wee Johnny ‘Three Balls’ Baxter dandered through the city centre fingering his iPhone. He was anxiously awaiting a reply from a young lady he’d met the night before. His swagger caught the eye of a PSNI officer outside Primark.

“Well Johnny, I hope you’re staying out of trouble?”

“Hope your Ma’s staying out of trouble,” replied Johnny with a grin.

“Oh hohohohohoho, that’s our Johnny Three Balls” the officer chuckled.

Johnny came to a small mobile phone kiosk and ducked inside.

“Whats the craic? CRAIC ATTACK!” he chimed at a man sat by the till.

“NO! No, literally no-one wants you to…” he interjected...

“Heehee I’m just me, the wee magic pastie!” it squeaked.

“Cos I see the way they be lookin at me down the Social club…” she purred.

“Right f**k up you’re annoying me nai” Johnny said, covering the pastie in its papers.

“Look love, just put the tea on and I’ll be home soon” he said.

A large woman wearing an ill-fitting velour tracksuit opened the door and smiled, “Och Hi Ya Johnny, how’s your wee balls?”

“Tea? Sure Owen there’s nahin in the house. I had beans on scones for lunch. It’s all gone. We’re starving” she said resting her belly on the small girl watching TV beneath her.

Johnny felt his stomach rumble and decided to head to one of his favourite eateries. The large neon sign glowed large in the dark Belfast night ‘Big Dessie’s Pasties’ called out to all with a hunger nearby.

“My hoop hur ts. Been sat here all day and nobody’s buying these here Nokia 3210 Novelty Sectarian Phone Covers, so they’re nat” came the glum reply.

“Craic Dessie?”

“Whaaaaaaaat? Swear til God Owen, I thought the Gerry Adams Twerking one woulda flown off the shelves. Here fire us over a King Billy Does Magaluf one for me Da.”

“Here that’s nat very ‘Our Time, Our Place’ is it”

“Johnny, I’m worried. You told me to sink all my savings into these. Now I’ve been left with over a thousand ‘Good Girls Go To Heaven, Bad Girls Go To Carryfduff’ t-shirts in my garage!”

“Go on Dessie give us a pastie supper. I’m starving dyin here so I am!”

“Here, get me ten of them, they’ll do for Christmas so they will” Johnny laughs while poking at a pair of Margaret Thatcher sunglasses.

“I’m being serious here Johnny, I could be ruined.

There’ll be no Christmas for me and the family” Owen tells him fixing his eyes with his own.

“You’ll be sweet til the beat Owen, just you wait.”

Johnny swaggered out of the store and took a right towards Castlecourt.

A phone rang and a women in a giant panda onesie slowly picked up.

“F**k off Johnny, you owe me for twenty two pasties you wee sh*t”

“Son, I’d undo the ceasefire if it would sort you out.”

“You can have this wee burnt one, he’s fit for the bin and I spat on it earlier by mistake so I did.”

“Cheers Dessie, you’re a real gem so you are.”

“I hope you die son, so I do” Dessie said without looking up.

Johnny skipped outside and greedily tore away the papers surrounding his delicacy. He was just about to tear off the corner when he heard a squeak..

“Oooh I’ve never seen three before…” she said excitedly.

Owen, the large woman, and Johnny all sat down at the table.

“Youse will never go hungry again! Together we can eat forever!” Johnny exclaimed taking a bite of the pastie. They gasped as the bite disappeared and the chips doubled once again.

“Oh my gash Johnny, you’ve done it, you’ve saved Christma…” But Owen was interrupted by a chair hitting Johnny across the bap.

“What did you do that for?” a shocked Owen leapt to his feet.

“Wha? For til take his magic pastie, here grab his legs we’ll bury him beside the wee pond.” She smiled and took a long drag on her Marley light.

“I love you Shauneen” Owen smiled and lifted Johnny’s legs up dragging him towards the back door.

It was a very Merry Belfast Christmas.

“Hello! My name’s Jackie and I’m a magic pastie!”

“You’re wat? I’m whiteying out here!”

“It’’s me, nat Jenny love. “ Owen replies.

“Any money on ye?” she asks.

“Don’t be afraid, I’m a magic pastie. Go ahead, take a bite and you’ll see!”

Johnny cautiously took a bite from the corner as the pastie giggled.

“No, they just aren’t buying anything love. The bank’s been on to us, it’s not looking good.”

Before Johnny’s eyes the pastie grew back it’s corner and the chips doubled.

“You want me to sell my body don’t ye?” She said taking a large drag on a Marley light.

“F**k me sideways, you really are a magic pastie!” exclaimed Johnny.

“Is that you Jenny? Jenny, Mummy, needs her fags Jenny, JENNY! MUMMY NEEDS HER FAGS HONEY” a hoarse mannish voice roared down the phone.

“Still gat three love, here let us in, I’ve got something to show ye” Johnny said, entering.

gnimag.com | page 87

SJ WILSON a straight guy and his guilty pleasures

page 88 | gnimag.com

Manliness. Masculinity. Testosterone. Beards. Words all associated with manly, menly men. It doesn’t matter if you are Chuck Norris or Louis Spence, every man has an “unmanly” weakness – that thing you never admit to liking or doing just because it is not conventionally manly. These, dearie, are guilty pleasures.

From music, movies, TV shows, to clothes and make up, every man has a guilty pleasure....some have more than one.

I have been toying around with how to do this because there are so many examples of guilty pleasures to choose from. Eventually, I decided to do a roundup of my top guilty pleasures that really manly masculine men probably also share, but will never admit to. First off I would like to say that just because you are manlier than Bruce Lee in a hot dog eating contest does not mean you are any less of a man for wearing your girlfriend’s thong.. (I’ll get to that later). Your guilty pleasure doesn’t immasculate you like some would have you believe. Any person that attempts to belittle you over a guilty pleasure is most likely doing so because they are not comfor table in their own skin.

I have drawn up a list of my favourite (and possibly obscure) guilty pleasures. From Movies to underwear, I have it down to a T. So let’s get the ball rolling, shall we?

From the world of television there are many many shows made for men like ‘Top Gear’ and ‘Match of the Day’ and a large variety of porn, HOWEVER, there are those such shows of which men are not traditionally the target audience, and no matter how hard you try you

cannot help but like the show and enjoy it. Shows like ‘Loose Women’, ‘Desperate Housewives’ and ‘Will & Grace’! Yes men, if you deny enjoying any one of those shows you are not only lying to me but you are lying to yourself as well. I can happily admit that I would sooner flick on ‘Desperate Housewives’ than watch an episode of ‘Top Gear’, and in my opinion, a bunch of women moaning about men and life is much more enter taining than a bunch of men bating the pigskin.

Action movies, sci-fi movies and the super hero movie are enter taining and can be quite epic but, when a movie comes along that pulls on the hear tstrings and is enough to make Odin weep in his sleep, you cannot help but love it. Movies like The Expendables, Avengers or even Dracula Untold are movies that men should sink their teeth into.

What most people don’t expect is a 6 foot bearded man gurning like a schoolgirl at a Westlife concer t whilst watching ‘The Notebook’ or ‘PS I Love You’. These things have happened...not that I know first hand or anything, but yeah, it is sad and it pulls on them hear tstrings. Grown men may not openly admit to liking these movies and in fact they may be tempted to cut off their left one just to prove their masculinity prevailed over such emotional shite but I guarandamntee you this: EVERY man has cried at one of these movies.

They also liked it. I would like to add ‘Frozen’ to this list. ‘Frozen’ is a fantastic story that has brought marines to tears. If you disagree, you may hand your man card in as you exit the building.

Music can be a powerful tool. It can help us through some of our

darkest days and hype us up for an amazing night out with friends. It can also remind us of a sad time and bring us to our knees. Then there are those songs that when you hear them you think, “F*CK MY ACTUAL LIFE”. Songs like ‘Saturday Night’

by Whigfield, ‘Barbie Girl’ by Aqua or pretty much anything by Steps, S Club 7 or The Village People. I swear when I am DJing at private par ties, more men requests songs by that lot than anyone else. If that is not a huge guilty pleasure then I have no idea what is. I am par tial to

“They kinda reach that itch you cannot scratch in public, however, there is no place for a teste sack in a thong.” a bit of Psy or Ylvis but my personal biggest guilty pleasure musically is Verka Serduchka. Love love love Verka.

As for clothing, there is one thing I have recently discovered that some men do… Some men have a guilty pleasure for wearing their girlfriend’s underwear. Now I know that girls can on occasion wear their fella’s boxers but surely with the size difference alone a girl couldn’t reuse a g string after it has been flossing the hairy butt crack of a man? I had to try this out and experimented with my fiancée’s thong, and I have to be

honest, I can see the appeal. They kinda reach that itch you cannot scratch in public, however, there is no place for a teste sack in a thong.

So to all you guys wearing women’s underwear...fair play to ya.

Last but not least, make up.

When I grew up the only men that wore make up would have been men in drag. Nowadays every fella and his dad seem to be wearing it: ‘Man Make Up’ as it has been aptly titled.

There’s Manscara, Guyliner, fake tan (I don’t think there is a masculine name for that one). This is something I couldn’t understand. I get it if you are a goth or a as a teenager wanting to rebel – you go paint your nails and show your parents how much of an individual you are with all the rest of the individuals doing the exact same thing, HOWEVER, when you become a fully grown human being, usually the reaction is, “WHHHHHHY is he wearing make up?” I had to investigate the fascination with male make up. It was my engagement par ty back at the star t of October and I thought, “Well, my missus is pretty tanned, I do not want to look pasty and white next to her” so I fake tanned it up. Gentlemen, I now understand why many men use make up. It makes you look and feel awesome! Whether you would like to admit it or not I can 100% say from experience that man make up, whilst it is also a guilty pleasure, is very effective; I felt like some kind of Adonis from a strip troop.

Well that’s it for this issue. Follow me on Twitter @SJWilson25 and give my Facebook page a like facebook.com/sjwilsonofficial

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Alicia Perry Hello to all you gorgeous and fabulous people! So, this is my first editorial for the award-winning GNI Magazine and I couldn’t be more proud to be part of the team! How did I get here? It all started with my first book release back in June this year.

The motivation to write my books came from a song by Tracy Chapman called ‘Tell It Like It Is’. The book’s subtitles were inspired by a song from the ar tist P!nk entitled ‘Perfect; Mistreated, Misplaced and Misunderstood in the quest to be Ms Perry’.

‘Mistreated’ is the first book in my biography series entitled ‘Confessions Of A Nobody’. The book unveils impor tant issues such as gender identity, self-harm, mental health, child abuse, corporal punishment, emotional neglect and bullying; whilst also giving a very personal insight into living through these controversial experiences. However, the focus remains on positivity and what can be achieved when you turn your life around.

Born in a male body that lacked an Adam’sapple, I was christened/cursed with a boy’s name.

From bir th I always identified myself as a little girl and at the early age of six I was confused by the boundaries of what was allowed by my parents. I loved playing with dolls and the girls so when my mother made me play with an action man, I knitted him a cardigan!

The years that followed this were cursed with diverse trauma that knew no boundaries, but life became much harder as I reached the age of eighteen. I knew in my hear t that I was not a ‘boy’ like all the other boys. I was depressed and lonely, and felt like life was simply not wor th living as someone I didn’t recognise when I looked in the mirror. The pressures of trying to conform and the constant hopelessness steered me to self-harm often and I attempted suicide just before my 19th bir thday.

This led to an encounter with psychiatrists and I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital. When I discussed my gender-identity issues with them they became increasingly frustrated and told me I was either gay or not gay; there was no in between. So I felt I had to make a choice. After page 90 | gnimag.com

this I seemed to be ushered towards discharge and I moved to Belfast to live independently.

Arriving on Belfast’s gay scene was a positive step for me as for the first time in my life I could dress femininely, date boys, and live a life that I never thought imaginable, but it wasn’t enough. I felt safe on the gay scene and expressed myself

“Confessions of a Nobody unveils important issues such as gender identity, self-harm, mental health, child abuse, corporal punishment, emotional neglect and bullying.” through the clothes I wore, the home I decorated, and my personality, but I still felt as though I didn’t fit in there either; there was still something missing from my life. I was star ting to recognise that I was indeed a woman and always had been, however I was worried that my newfound friends would judge me harshly. Feeling ashamed, confused and lost, I turned to self-harm to cope with my private pain.

Some years later an ar ticle in The Sunday Life was to change everything forever. I had no idea that lifting a Sunday newspaper was about to save me from myself and bir th a whole new life. Help came in the form of a new TV show being made for BBC1 Nor thern Ireland called ‘The Last Resor t’ starring a line-up of exper ts including life coach Gillian Killen. The series, which selected six people from around the country, was to offer a new approach to assist those who felt they couldn’t be helped to find a new path in their life. The whole team was great but in a session with Gillian Killen suddenly everything made sense in my head. Immediately after the show aired I was on a mission.

No more was I going to live a life that pleased everyone else; it was time for me to live as me, as

God intended me to be.

Following cer tain personal revelations that were broadcast in the 10-par t series, I turned down work and chose to step away from the limelight in order to concentrate on my gender identity. I also knew that I had to face past events of significant suffering so I began to write my book as therapy, to help me chase down my demons.

It took a lot of guts and courage but I began living publicly as the woman I am in September 2011. I changed my name legally by deed poll and began hormone treatment. Sixteen months later I travelled alone to Brighton, England, to meet my bestie Perry and have my gender reassignment surgery. To date, that was the best day of my life, and I have never looked back. I’m so pleased to announce that I’ve never been happier and I am now on a mission to become a yummy mummy!

Since releasing my first book I have been overwhelmed with the sincere and genuine suppor t I have received. I have even been moved to tears at times, as the human spirit is such a remarkable thing! My wonderful friend Anthony Millar wrote a very positive piece on my book, which was featured in The Sunday Life newspaper, and the awesome Vinny Hurrell interviewed me as par t of his show #TheClinic on Blast 106 Radio. Both of these can be found on my Twitter and Facebook pages.

I have a few media projects in the pipeline and I have been networking on an international scale.

I have been receiving beautiful messages of suppor t from as far as USA, Canada and Australia, so I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has been suppor ting me and following my journey; without you I couldn’t do the positive work that I am thoroughly enjoying right now. Please do check in again with me for more developments in the next issue! My book is available via Amazon websites worldwide, to download or to order in paperback.

For now I wish you all a very Happy Christmas and a peaceful New Year! See you in 2015. Stay Blessed peeps! Alicia Perry xox

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TITANIC CONVENTION INTERVIEWS AWARDS PICS

TOXYC IN BELFAST FREE HAND BLACK & GREY

THE APPRENTICE CHRIS HILL

FRIZ

W O N S P O H S N I

IRISH STREET ARTIST

PERT

ARTIST FEATURE

Issue TWO Oct/Nov/Dec 2014 £3.95 / ¤4.95

ULSTER INK ISSUE TWO | FASHION | MUSIC | SPORT | TATTOOS TATTOOS TATTOOS!!

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ET TRE KRE M LI

1 U NIO N ST REE T

REE N ST NIO 1 U D 40 YAR OTN U M BUB BAR RAL ENT r C t Ba ree n St NIO KU ERIC MAV ER LOW UNF Y S TOR FAC HOE N S

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A glance at what’s happening around Belfast and Dublin.

N S HOE FAC TOR Y S UNF LOW ER MAV ERIC K Q UEE NS B AR CEN TRA L BA R B UBU

K PA MA NTI B AR C VERI ENTR CK AL BAQ RUEBE U NSBU M BA OTN B R CEN oom Box oom B N T O M U UNION TREET BUB TRA LPABNTI BAR UNIONSSTREET IN AR L L KREM M E R K R E W O L F LIN S N U B S Y R U O T C HOE F BU SHOE FA ACTOR MO Y TN Th eG eor ge UN ION STR EET KR EM LIN

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Pantibar – Sunday Shenanigans with Panti & Dizzy

The Front Lounge – 2 for 1 cocktails Pantibar – Joystick, DJ Dr Beat plays quality 80’s music

The George – Win, Lose or Drag with Phil T. Gorgeous and Bunny from 9pm, Admission free all night with drinks promos galore Pantibar – Pints and Chats

Regular Nights

Friday

Pop Rox Indie Night @ The Dive Bar (Turk’s Head) – For tnightly Saturdays

The George – Glitterbomb with DJs Ger and Mo, hosted by David D-Pole and his Glitterati Dancers, Drinks promos, Free shots, Admission free before 10pm, €5 from 10 til midnight, €18 after Pantibar – DJ Steobear and Our Perfectly Preposterous Drinks Specials The Hub – SweatBox

Tuesday The George – Bassline with DJ Karen, Admission free The Front Lounge – Davina Devine’s Casting Couch, Karaoke from 10pm Pantibar – Pints and Chats

Crush Girlclub @ Lafayette Club – Third Friday of every month

Specials Thursday 13th November – Tuesday 23rd December: ‘Dublin at Christmas’ Traditional Market @ St Stephen’s Green Park

Saturday

Wednesday

The George – SaturGays with DJ Sean John, Davina, Veda & guests with Beauty Spot Karaoke from 10pm Pantibar – The Panti Show from 10pm.

Cruisin’, Music, Dancin’, Chattin’ Copper Alley – Mother, home of synth pop and electronic music

The George – Space N’ Veda with Veda Beaux Rêves and gorgeous guests Cabaret, Drag, Video Ar t & Live Music Pantibar – Pints and Chats

Thursday

29th November – 23rd December: Dun Laoghaire Christmas Festival 29th November – 24th December: Santa’s Grotto @ Dublin Zoo NOTE: AS WE CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR LAST MINUTE CHANGES TO LISTINGS, YOU SHOULD CHECK THE ACCURACY OF ALL OF THESE EVENTS YOURSELF WITH INDIVIDUAL VENUES BEFORE PLANNING YOUR BIG NIGHT OUT.

Sunday

The George – Davina Devine hosts Thursty Thursdays with the 11 o’clock show (ish)

The George – Bingo with Shirley Temple Bar, Jackpot: €500, from 9.30pm, Admission free until before 10pm, €5 after

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VENUES 1 - Panti Bar 2 - Nealons 3 - The Front Lounge 4 - Copper Alley 5 - The George 6 - The Dragon 7 - Lafayette Club 8 - The Hub 9 - The Boilerhouse

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Wellington Quay Aston Quay Temple Bar Essex Street

George Street

Essex Quay

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DUBLIN

LANDMARKS A - Parliament Square B - Temple Bar C - Dublin Castle D - The Needle E - Gaiety Theatre F - Grafton Street G - Olympia Theatre

DUBLIN

Monday

There’s loads going on in and around Belfast this festive season. Michelle Visage, Courtney Act and Samantha Mumba will all be making appearances at Kremlin during December. There are two Christmas markets to choose from this year, one at the City Hall and the other at Filthy McNastys. Get along to your regular weekly and monthlys, all of which we’re sure will have a festive twist.

Get yourself out and support your local bars this Christmas.

Monday Union Street (Belfast) – The Trudy Show Maverick (Belfast) – Motor Mouth Mondays Comedy Night with Gemma Hutton, Doors 9.30pm, Admission free Sunf lower (Belfast) – Open Mic Nights, 7pm, Free bottle of beer for every per former El Divino (Belfast) – SWAGGER Central Bar (Strabane) – BOGOF (Buy One Get One Free) Mondays

Tuesday Kremlin (Belfast) – Klub 180, All drinks £1.80 all night, 10pm-2.30am Union Street (Belfast) – Grannie’s Fun Factory 9pm, All drinks £2 Maverick (Belfast) – Contdown weekly quiz with the one and only Contessa Maximillion Von Tramp and DJ Ryan, 9.30pm, Admission free Sunf lower (Belfast) – The Dandy Horses Unplugged, 7.30pm Boombox (Belfast) – Hoochie Tuesdays with KKRU DJZ, All drinks £2 Central Bar (Strabane) – Triple Tuesday, Any 3 drinks £5, Pitchers (3 pints Coors/Carling) £7

DJ Kenny and Special Guests, 10pm-3am, Drinks £2.50, Bombs £1.50, Admission £5 Central Bar (Strabane) – Big Gay Wednesday with DJ Ricardo, All drinks £1, Admission £3

Sunday Thursday Kremlin (Belfast) – Deuce £2 entry £2 drinks Union Street (Belfast) – Okie Dokie Karaoke hosted by Trudy Scrumptious and Rober t Brown Maverick (Belfast) – T’N’T Thursdays with Rusty Hinges and Roxy Tumbledryer, from 9.30pm, admission free Boombox (Belfast) – ULTRAVAMP, alternative weekly student night with Electra La Cnt, weekly themed par ties and per formances 10pm-3am, all drinks £2.50, bombs £1.50, admission £5/ guestlist £3 Sunf lower (Belfast) – Gypsy Jazz Session 5pm, Sunf lower Folk Club 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – All drinks £2, Pitchers (3 pints Coors/ Carling) £7

Friday Kremlin (Belfast) – Karnival Weekly Theme Nights, open until 3am Union Street (Belfast) – An evening with Glitzy Glamour Maverick (Belfast) – WINE CLUB! Half price bottles of selected wine from 4pm-7pm! VAGABOND with DJ Marion Hawkes from 9pm Boombox (Belfast) – DOWNTOWN with DJ Jordan, all drinks £2.50 before Midnight, 10pm-3am, admission free before 11pm, £5 before 1am, £7 after Sunf lower (Belfast) – Traditional Session with Lonesome George and Friends, 8pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Central Fridays, Chance to win £50 bar tab

Saturday Wednesday Union Street (Belfast) – Tina’s Stop the Clock The Shoe Factory (Belfast) – SLOSH! Maverick (Belfast) – Open Mic Wednesdays hosted by Cherrie On Top, Acoustic and Spoken Word Acts Welcome! Complimentary Drink for all Per formers, admission free Boombox (Belfast) – Bitch Please! Midweek Scream with Roxy Tumbledryer, Rusty Hinges, GNI Banner Template for pdf:Layout 1

Central Bar (Strabane) – Saturday Beats with DJ Ricardo

Kremlin (Belfast) – Revolution, 9pm-3am Union Street (Belfast) – Tina’s Trannyoke 5pm8pm, Grannie’s Time Tunnel 9pm-late Maverick (Belfast) – Par ty vibes from 9pm cour tesy of DJ Sean McCann, admission free Boombox (Belfast) – DJ Ciaran Boylan and Host Sassie Longshaft, 10pm-3am, admission £3 before 11pm, £6 before 1am, £8 after.

Sunf lower (Belfast) – Appalachian Session, 8pm

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Kremlin (Belfast) – Industry 10pm, Admission free Union Street (Belfast) – The Sunday Bingo Show 8.30pm Maverick (Belfast) – The R&R with Rusty and Roxy 5pm, Sunday grooves by Groovebound from 8pm, Admission free Boombox (Belfast) – Full Circle, Upfront House with DJ Stuar t Millar and Host Sassie Longshaft, drinks £2.50, Admission free Sunf lower (Belfast) – Traditional Session with Lonesome George and Friends, 7pm Central Bar (Strabane) – Sundays at The Central

Regular Nights BUBU @ The Shoe Factory – First Friday of every month (men only) Cherry @ The Shoe Factory – Last Friday of every month (women only) SINK @ Whites Tavern – Third Friday of every month The White Mansions @ The Sunf lower – First Friday of every month Pub Quiz @ The Sunf lower – First Tuesday of every month Duke Special’s Gramophone Club @ Sunf lower – Last Friday of every month MOTN @ Queen’s Café Bar - Last Friday of every month Passion @ Bellinis (Newry) – First Saturday of every month Love Box @ Boombox – Last Wednesday of every month (women only) Hotel Motel Residency @ Boombox – Last Friday of every month Fuzzbox @ Boombox – Third Friday of every month (men only) Room Ser vice @ Boombox – Bi-monthly

Specials 15th November – 21st December: Belfast Continental Christmas Market @ The City Hall 20th November – 21st December: Santa’s Grotto @ The MAC

Open until 3am.

Saturday 20th December: The B Side Soul Club Christmas Special @ Queen’s Café Bar, 9pm – 2am, drinks promos.

5th December – 31st December: Filthys Christmas Market, Beer Tent, Mulled Wines, Hog Roast, Adult Santa’s Grotto, Par ty Spaces Available, Teepees, and More. Selected dates only, free entry.

Saturday 27th December: Cour tney Act, Australian Idol Semi-Finalist & Ru Paul’s Drag Race Season 6 Finalist @ Kremlin, DJ Jamesy & Regal MC

Saturday 6th December: Revolution Presents Samantha Mumba @ Kremlin, Red Square stage. Two DJs providing the lighter sounds of pop and commercial in the Long Bar, and mixing up dance, house, handbag and trance in Red Square. Open until 3am.

NOTE: AS WE CAN’T BE RESPONSIBLE FOR LAST MINUTE CHANGES TO LISTINGS, YOU SHOULD CHECK THE ACCURACY OF ALL OF THESE EVENTS YOURSELF WITH INDIVIDUAL VENUES BEFORE PLANNING YOUR BIG NIGHT OUT.

Wednesday 31st December: New Year’s Eve 2014 @ El Divino with Ben Santiago and The Lovely Laura Saxophone Sensation from Ocean Beach Ibiza.

Mondays 6.30-7.30pm: Free Spanish Classes @ The Sunf lower (Contact The Sunf lower on 028 9023 2474)

Friday 12th December: Karnival Presents Michelle Visage @ Kremlin, Red Square stage. Commercial pop and camp classics in the Long Bar with VJ Malc and the freshest dance and house in Red Square with Gareth Woods.

BELFAST

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A20 Alber tbridge Road

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Cromac Street

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Great Victoria Street

May Street

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VENUES 1 - Union Street Bar 2 - Kremlin 3 - Maverick 4 - Sunflower Bar 5 - Kellys Cellars 6 - Queens Cafe Bar 7 - Yard 401 8 - El Divino 9 - Boombox 10 - The Pipeworks LANDMARKS A - Grand Opera House B - The MAC C - City Hall D - The Fish E - Odyssey F - Ulster Hall G - The Waterfront H - The Cour ts

BELFAST

20th November – 5th January: Magic Christmas Window @ The MAC