COMING OUT OF THE BROOM CLOSET Xand

“I talk to dead people”, is not necessarily the sexiest chat-up line is it? Not really. But these days when social media is filled with scammers and charlatans asking £30 for three cards, most of whom can barely construct a f*ckin’ sentence; let alone spell ‘metaphysics’, I felt the need for a strap-line with a little more kick to it to attempt to separate myself from the Tiktok / Instagram bottom feeders.

It still makes me laugh when I get the same old messages each day on Instagram such as the following:

“Hello, I saw a sign in you and connected to it and your heart was open to love and light, not everyone is blessed with this connection so I’m drawn to you from the universe, can I consider you for a Reading love !?

… to which I reply “Sure!”, So long as it’s free, you can read a grand tableau and tarot card reversals, you’ve read the work of Barbara Moore, Mary K. Greer, Camila Elias, and you know who Éliphas Lévi is then by all means fill yer boots flower! Yeah, that usually does the trick and they fuck off and leave me alone.

Incidentally, for those of you who are interested Éliphas Lévi Zahed, born Alphonse Louis Constant (8 February 1810 – 31 May 1875), was a French esotericist, poet, and writer who initially wanted to become a priest in the Catholic Church, but who abandoned the priesthood in his mid-twenties and became a ceremonial magician. At the age of 40, much like yours truly, he began studying the occult. He wrote over 20 books on magick, Kabbalah, alchemical studies, and occultism. The word ‘occult’ just means hidden by the by!

Alas, there is most definitely a stigma attached to doing witchy shit innit my lovelies but not quite in the same way it used to be. No longer are we tied to a wooden stake and bar-b-cued to the delight of Christian onlookers proud to have done ‘God’s work’ having cleansed in fire another disgusting witchy wretch who, like yours truly, was probably just a bit of an artsy type with two black cats who enjoyed a game of hide the sausage and who not only came up with their own opinions but, shock horror, dared to open their mouths to express said opinions freely in public!

Nowadays, it’s the association not so much with the Devil (probably one of the most misunderstood and bastardised concepts ever to be dreamed up in the minds of ruthless, money-hungry, rich, white, men) but with fraudsters and scam artists that give genuine psychics a rather bad reputation meaning many of us feel the same sense of dread at the thought of coming out of the broom closet, in some cases more so, as we had at the thought of just coming out as queer teenagers.

In my case, I felt more shame and guilt coming out as a psychic because it happened much later in life. At the age of 14 when I first decided I wanted to become a Cockologist I was so camp and such a huge fan of Kylie Minogue that my homosexuality was clear for all to see. You’d have to have been living under a rock not to realise I wanted to get fucked by the football team rather than play on the fuckin’ football team. And so my only option was to explain to my devastated half Irish full-on conservative God-fearing Catholic parents that I had a major crush on Richard Drummie from Go West (and still do actually to this very day... No it’s true, he’s gorgeous) and that they’d never get a grandchild from me which is just as well considering the kind of parent I’d make as surely my son or daughter would end up being just as rebellious and free-thinking as their rather fabulous dad.

Coming out as a queer psychic medium who practices witchcraft and magick over the age of 40 (by which time one is expected to have a stable job, a boring haircut, a three-bed semi, and a Volkswagen Golf with extra legroom) is not such an unexacting task and in my opinion requires far more bravery and so, unsurprisingly, most gay witches keep their tarot cards and ouija boards hidden away in a drawer next to their 11” dildos, jock straps, and marijuana. No amount of sequels to Hocus Pocus it seems will enable us to freely express ourselves as out and proud gay witches so long as this world falls under the spell of Ron De Santis and his cronies but perhaps, in a strange way, this is a very good thing.

You see my darlings one must never forget that to practise magick, real magick, is to study, to learn, to become what used to be known as ‘an adept’. In days gone by we were called the ‘wise’ men and women of the village, the ones who knew things others didn’t, and the ones with special powers of intuition who could lift the veil that separates our two worlds. Should you consider yourself a bit of a witchy-poo then consider yourself welcomed into a long line of esteemed, free-thinking, and very wise people who could see beyond the constraints of our physical world, who knew things others dared not know, and whose secrecy oftentimes saved their lives. Welcome to the family. Like, Subscribe, Hit the bell and I’ll see you on our livestreams for a free psychic reading along with tutorials on tarot, lenormand, runes, and of course… magick. www.youtube.com/@thesexytarotteacher