Los Angeles magazine - May 2020

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$5.95 M AY 2 0 2 0 L A M AG .CO M




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I N L I V I NG C OL OR

A well-timed Technicolor tour of L.A. landmarks documents a city that is riotously, insistently alive

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Three Weeks in March

Postcards From the Edge

As the coronavirus began its assault on L.A., a ragtag army mobilized to fight it. An intimate account of the pandemic’s first days, as told by the politicians, doctors, cops, and supermarket clerks on the front lines.

L.A.’s most beloved landmarks are on display in a dazzling new photography book— crowdsourced by you.

BY JASON MCGAHAN, JON REGARDIE, AND MERLE GINSBERG

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B Y L I N DA I M M E D I ATO

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Fran Drescher Is Back, Bitches The star of The Nanny and NBC’s Indebted tawks about fame, her (relative) lack of fortune, and controversial embrace of alternative medicine. BY ANDREW GOLDMAN

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The Man Who Made Van Halen In 1977 Ted Templeman agreed to check out an unknown band from Pasadena. The moment their guitarist hit the stage, the producer knew he’d chanced upon a talent as transcendent as Charlie Parker. BY TED TEMPLEMAN

@ R I C H A R D P O DJ R

Features


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M AY 2 0 2 0

Buzz KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

» We’ve seen this movie. If ever there were a city to finesse a catastrophe, it’s Los Angeles. BY JEFF WEISS PAGE 13

THE BRIEF

» News and notes from all over. PAGE 16

GOING VIRAL

» The rise of the coronavirus influencers and fashion designers’ new side hustle making protective masks. BY LINDA IMMEDIATO PAGE 18

Columns APOCALYPSE NOW

» Taran Butler trains stars like Keanu Reeves and sells guns to the Trumps. Now Hollywood A-listers fearing a real-life Mad Max are flocking to his ranch. BY ELIYAHU KAMISHER PAGE 48

Editor’s Note » Life in a city under siege and how we can survive it. BY MAER ROSHAN PAGE 8

Ask Chris

Inside Intel

» Does Grauman’s really swap out old celeb handprints to make way for new ones? Is Burbank in the Valley? Our inhouse historian is here to answer all your burning questions.

» Looking for retail therapy, comfort food, or the best at-home workout during these trying times? We’ve got the pro tips to keep you safe and sane. PAG E 2 1

BY CHRIS NICHOLS PAGE 100

ON THE COVER » PHOTOGRAPH BY SHAYAN ASGHARNIA

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P H O T O G R A P H BY C O R I NA M A R I E H OW E L L


The Aviation Pioneers Squad

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Editor’s Note

BY MAER ROSHAN

I T ’ S A L I T T L E past 8 on a chilly March evening, and I am writing this from my office ten stories above Wilshire Boulevard, taking in the surreal scene below. Across the street the LACMA lights, usually overrun by Instagrammers and tourists, are hauntingly empty. At rush hour just a handful of cars speed by. The magazine’s staff departed a week ago, leaving me alone in a cavernous warren of offices that I share with Penelope, my blind Chihuahua. Like everyone else we are working remotely now, trying to cobble together this issue even as the TV and the internet churn out a litany of calamity, warning of massive deaths and turmoil ahead. L.A. has been racked by its fair share of biblical disasters over the years—fires and floods and riots and earthquakes. But this crisis seems different: We’re held hostage by a virus that inhibits human contact at the very moment we need it the most. As always, Angelenos innovate: improvised drive-in movies, Zoom reading clubs, wine tastings via Skype. But virtual connections are a pale replacement for personal contact. At work daily collaboration has been replaced with video meetings during which someone inevitably has a TV blaring in the background and people talk 8 L A M AG . C O M

L.A. has been racked by its fair share of biblical disasters over the years—fires and floods and riots and earthquakes. But this crisis seems different. FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @MAERROSHAN

over one another in nervous babble. In the parks— before they were closed—grandmothers are forced to greet their grandchildren from six feet away. Yet as singular as this crisis is, it also feels eerily familiar. In the ’90s, as editor of a gay weekly in New York, I chronicled the early days of the AIDS crisis, when another wily virus sent a generation of frightened young men to their early graves. Later, on 9/11, as editor of another magazine, I watched the World Trade Center towers crumble on the day the publication was supposed to go to the printer. Despite anthrax threats and predictions of further mayhem, we tore up the issue and created 40 new pages in a week, grateful to have a job that made a difference in some modest way. Then, as now, work was a welcome alternative to helpless existential angst. Producing a magazine in a constantly churning climate can be a daunting challenge, but one we have worked hard to meet. In March Los Angeles was the first monthly in the country to devote a cover to the emerging pandemic. Since then, our website (lamag.com) has relentlessly tracked breaking news and developments in real time. As I write this, 4,566 Angelenos have tested positive for the novel coronavirus. Eighty-nine of them have died. What the world will look like a month from now is anyone’s guess. So rather than try to predict an unknowable future, we wanted to pause to reexamine the early days of the crisis, when the looming threat propelled a panicked city to action. For their cover story this month, Jason McGahan, Jon Regardie, and Merle Ginsberg interviewed more than 45 people who were on the front lines when the virus hit—from the mayor and his health commissioner to doctors and ambulance drivers and supermarket clerks. Together, and often at their personal peril, they have struggled to keep the city afloat. Their heroism is inspirational. Elsewhere in this issue we’ve retooled our service sections, Eat, Shop, and Play, to focus on food, entertainment, and other essentials that you can access from your couch. Also a portfolio of dazzling Instagram photos reminds us of the L.A. that awaits us when this is over—electric, creative, alive. By the time you read this, the prognosis for our future will hopefully be less uncertain. But in any case, you can count on us to keep reporting the best information about this crisis, its impact on the city, and the people who make Los Angeles the best city in the world. Thank you for relying on us during this challenging time. It is an honor we don’t take for granted.

Roshan, Editor Editor-in-Chief Maer Roshan in Chief P H O T O G R A P H E D BY S H AYA N A S G H A R N I A


Los Angeles magazine salutes Terranea, L.A.’s Oceanfront Resort, for their meticulous commitment to stewarding their environment on the Palos Verdes Peninsula while simultaneously delivering an unrivaled guest experience at their luxury eco resort.

Terranea’s dedication to the ethos of Minimal Impact includes, but is not limited to the following practices: Ä‘ĆŤ .+0! 0%*#ĆŤ+,!*ĆŤ/, ! Ä‘ĆŤ ),.+2%*#ĆŤ3%( (%"!ĆŤ$ %0 0/ Ä‘ĆŤ *$ * %*#ĆŤ(+ (ĆŤ3 0!.ĆŤ-1 (%05 Ä‘ĆŤ ++ ĆŤ3 /0!ĆŤ.! 5 (%*# Ä‘ĆŤ .0*!./$%,ĆŤ3%0$ĆŤ $!"/ĆŤ0+ĆŤ * ĆŤ 1*#!.ĆŤ0+ĆŤ +* 0!ĆŤ,.!, .! ĆŤ"++ Ä‘ĆŤ +* 0%+*/ĆŤ+"ĆŤ1*1/! ĆŤ0+%(!0.%!/ĆŤ0+ĆŤ0$!ĆŤ % *%#$0ĆŤ %//%+*ĆŤ%*ĆŤ Ä‘ĆŤ ! /+* (ĆŤ %*%*#ĆŤ)!*1/ĆŤ"! 01.%*#ĆŤ%*#.! %!*0/ĆŤ#.+3*ĆŤ * ĆŤ" .)! ĆŤ 0ĆŤ0$!ĆŤ.!/+.0 0ĆŤ%/ĆŤ+1.ĆŤ,.%2%(!#!ĆŤ0+ĆŤ$ 2!ĆŤ, .0*!.! ĆŤ3%0$ĆŤ !.. *! ÄŒĆŤ+2!.ĆŤ0$!ĆŤ, /0ĆŤÄ Ä€ĆŤ5! ./ĆŤ0+ĆŤ .%*#ĆŤ0$!%.ĆŤ/1/0 %* %(%05ĆŤ)!// #%*#ĆŤ0+ĆŤ0$! Los Angeles magazine audience at our events and through our media channels, and we look forward to growing our , .0*!./$%,ĆŤ"+.ĆŤ0$!ĆŤ*!40ĆŤÄ Ä€ĆŤ5! ./ĆŤ * ĆŤ !5+* Ä‹

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Welcome to LACMA @ Home Visit lacma.org for free enriching and inspiring content that you can Watch, Listen, Learn, Read, and Browse at home.

Maer Roshan

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Members make it possible. Learn more at lacma.org/members. Ugo da Carpi, Sibyl Reading, Lighted by Child with a Torch (detail), c. 1520–27, Los Angeles County Museum of Art, Mary Stansbury Ruiz Bequest, photo © Museum Associates/LACMA

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Keep Calm And Carry On WE’VE SEEN THIS MOVIE. IF EVER THERE WERE A CITY TO FINESSE A CATASTROPHE, IT’S LOS ANGELES BY JEFF WEISS

I L LU S T R AT I O N BY JA S O N R A I S H

L A M AG . C O M 13


I

INCOMING

N L O S A N G E L E S , apoca-

lypse is regular but not normal. This city is a gaudily advertised paradise with a deferred cost paid on layaway. There is no such thing as a free lunch at the Ivy. To live here is to accept the tacit risk of destruction, whether environmental, professional, or via a Seth Rogen vehicle. It’s a place where the end of the world means many different things to many different people: from final-judgment evangelicals parading down Hollywood Boulevard to cocooned Westsiders grieving over the death of Nate ’n Al’s. Over the last 30 years alone, it has withstood cataclysmic earthquakes, hellish infernos, biblical floods, tyrannical drought, damaging mudslides, and a riot in which thousands of businesses were looted and torched. While the cliché is that the city’s deepest image is of itself burning, its deepest fear is forced evacuation. The novel coronavirus poses a different existential threat—an invisible pathogen versus an unsubtle act of God of furious vengeance. With the potential to inflict heavy fatalities and permanent economic ruin, it’s a plague straight out of Cecil B. De Mille or maybe Magnolia. But a city’s strength can often double as its weakness. The infamously short memory of Los Angeles allows it to reimagine and rehabilitate itself over and over, but that historical outlook can also lead to collective amnesia. There are those here with generational roots, but more commonly this city is a home to transients—a municipal ATM where people attempt to get their cash and bounce. If you’ve lived in L.A. long enough, you remember the dislocating panic of the

14 L A M AG . C O M

has regularly burned since it was home ’94 earthquake, in which 57 people died, to the Tongva tribe. It’s a community 8,700 were injured, and the cost in modern sitting atop the wrathful San Andreas dollars was somewhere between $22 bilFault—which inspired the subtitle of a falion and $76 billion. It was named after the bled Grand Theft Auto video game, a series Valley neighborhood with the most severe whose virtual fun is partly rooted in cardestruction—Northridge—but almost evjacking, another damned L.A. innovation. ery Angeleno knew someone whose home, Southern California is an axis mundi for school, or workplace was damaged. The ’92 destruction. There have been catastrophriots resulted in 63 deaths, 2,383 injuries, ic floods since long before the Los Angeand more than $1 billion in property damles River was bound in conage. Entire neighborhoods crete. Lesser known are the and livelihoods turned to tornadoes of 1918, 1930, and ashes, and burned-out strip malls laid in rubble for years. Back in FDR’s 1966 that mimicked the fake Narrow remembrances foday, the famed Oz one created on the MGM soundstage in Culver City. cus on the impact to South evangelist The Academy Awards are Central and Koreatown, but Aimee Semple held at the Hollywood and Frederick’s of Holly wood Highland shopping mall, a was pillaged, and riot fears McPherson place architecturally modforced the Beverly Center to foretold of eled after the fall of Babylon shut down. Conversely the looming in D.W. Griffith’s 1916 film, incident kickstarted a stillIntolerance. This isn’t even ongoing attempts to reform apocalypse our first plague. The Spanish the LAPD and influenced Dr. from the flu killed more than 2,700 Dre’s The Chronic and SubEvangelus Angelenos between 1918 and lime’s “April 29, 1992.” Out of Temple in 1919; the 1924 pneumonic chaos occasional silver linplague outbreak is less reings materialize (unless you Echo Park. membered: two terrifying hate Sublime, which means weeks that resulted in 30 you’re not really from L.A.). deaths (rats not included). As the danger of climate Back when FDR was president, the famed change becomes an inescapable and unevangelical Aimee Semple McPherson forewelcome companion, we’ve become intold the looming apocalypse from the Anured to the acrid smoke and lamb’s blood gelus Temple in Echo Park. sunsets that accompany fire season every There is an entire canon of L.A.-based fall. Real estate purchases—for the lucky end-of-days porn. The Day of the Locust few who can afford the astronomical pricconcludes with a Hollywood Boulevard riot es—are now hedged against which canyon predicted by a fictional painting called “The neighborhood might eventually be incinBurning of Los Angeles.” In Red Wind, Rayerated by flames. This isn’t a new reality, mond Chandler wrote about the “hot dry merely an exaggerated one. The region

P R OT E ST: K I R K M C KOY/ LOS A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S ; DA M AG E D F R E E WAY: T I M OT H Y A . C L A RY/A F P V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

BUZZ


L I V I NG ON T H E E D G E

F I R E : B R I A N VA N D E R B R U G / LOS A N G E L E S T I M E S V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

Opposite page from left: a protest against LAPD Chief Daryl Gates, the Northridge earthquake, and endless wildfires are among the many chapters in L.A.’s disaster narrative. Right: Street artist Hijack’s mural depicts the city’s adjustment to the COVID-19 reality

Santa Anas that make your nerves jump and your skin itch ... [where] meek little wives feel the edge of the carving knife and study their husbands’ necks.” The Omega Man presents Charlton Heston as a pandemic survivor killing vampirelike members of the Family and nearly getting burned at the stake inside Dodger Stadium. Earthquake features the Mulholland Dam bursting and deluging the city. The Day After Tomorrow imagines a twister turning the 405 into a charnel house of shrapnel and flying cars. In the alien-invasion tale Independence Day, the destruction of New York is played for pathos; in L.A. it is served up as parody. Last year’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood delivers an alternate history of the Manson killings, which in real life caused an informal quarantine as residents sealed themselves behind locked doors. The dystopian vision of Blade Runner, set in 2019, was only a year off. It’s only logical that today’s crisis would tap an atavistic nerve—although our fear of evacuation has morphed into doomsday anxiety about opening the door for the Postmates delivery guy. The mayor has warned of mounting body counts and of hospitals, short on ventilators and other crucial supplies, being overrun with patients on death’s door. But at press time, L.A. has been spared the worst ravages of New York. I’m no epidemiologist, but com-

M U R A L PH O T O GR A PH BY S H AYA N A S H GA R N I A

mon sense suggests that the strict lockdown, boosted by Angelenos’ tendency to socially distance ourselves in bubbles of glass, stucco, and steel, might become a saving grace. L.A.’s lack of density and its residents’ aversion to mass transit create fewer natural vectors for transmission. The frequently maligned lack of seasons and tedious seven-days-a-week sunshine could ultimately blunt the force of the virus, which has hit harder in colder climates. That’s not to diminish the inescapable despair spreading into every pocket of the city. It’s rare that a tragedy so thoroughly affects everyone, from the homeless to the ultrawealthy (save for David Geffen, he of the “Let them eat cake” yachting Instagram). It augurs a potentially brutal cultural holocaust for independent bookstores and record shops, revival movie theaters, family restaurants, grimy dive bars, sweatbox music clubs, and taco trucks. There’s a tangible threat that a looming recession will create a void filled by corporate chains, REITs, and hedge funds. Avoiding a Los Angeles that looks like midtown Manhattan—filled with nothing but Chopts, Chase Banks, and CVSes—will require tremen-

dous resources and imagination from not just the residents but from local, state, and federal bureaucrats. The hope, however naive, is that this catastrophe reawakens a communal spirit and imperative to preserve the landmarks, large and small, of the city. Amid the wave of depressing GoFundMe posts is an underlying reminder of our need for connectivity. Acts of casual heroism have been ubiquitous: from first responders and hospital staff to grocery workers to random Instagram acquaintances volunteering to deliver supplies to the elderly. It’s possible that the worst threat of the virus soon will have receded. The bestcase scenario is that the conspiracy-minded were right, the statistical models were bunk, and it was all a fear-mongering ruse. Either way, our city will never be the same, but it never stays the same for long anyway. A few years from now, we might remember this as a foggy dream, another bad apocalyptic movie. Perhaps by then the next big thing will be dominating our days, which, of course, would be quintessentially L.A., too—a city forever forgetting its past. L A M AG . C O M 15


N E WS & N OT E S F R O M A L L OV E R

The Brief

MARMONT MASSACRE HAS HOLLYWOOD ABUZZ THE STORIED HOTEL DITCHED DOZENS OF LONGTIME STAFF MEMBERS WITHOUT SEVERANCE OR INSURANCE. BUT NOT EVERYONE’S TAKING THE NEWS LYING DOWN BY MERLE GINSBERG

W H E N H A R RY

Cohn advised, “If you must get in trouble, do it at the Chateau Marmont,” he wasn’t thinking of André Balazs, proprietor since 1990 of the storied Sunset Boulevard hotel that has long been a home to celebrity high jinks. Yet Balazs, 63, seems to have taken Cohn’s advice to heart. The hotelier is in hot water after firing almost all of the Marmont’s staff via email with no severance and only a brief extension of health insurance in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic that devastated the hotel’s bookings. In an apparent attempt to ward off the inevitable bad press—and bad blood—the WeHo hotel’s managing director, Amanda Grandinetti, started a GoFundMe page on behalf of laid-off employees. So far the top donor to the fund is perennial Chateau guest Patricia Clarkson, 16 L A M AG . C O M

who anted up $1,500. Balazs and the hotel did not respond to requests for comment. In a statement, the hotel said that it paid insurance benefits to furloughed employees through the end of March. While the hotel industry has been particularly bruised by the crisis, industry insiders whisper that the Marmont’s money woes predate the pandemic. Sources say Balazs, who also has an ownership stake in New York’s Mercer Hotel and London’s Chiltern Firehouse, has been in a cash crunch since recent real estate projects he began in Paris and Portugal fizzled out. “André’s been overextended for a long time,” snipes one rival hotelier. “I think he saw the writing on the wall. ... This was an opportunity for André to let go of people with seniority who made good money. ” “What the Chateau’s done is disgusting,” says another hotelier. “Some people think

mentioned at all.” “He’s gone off the rails,” says another former worker, who claims that some of the hotel’s loyal customers are threatening a boycott to protest the situation. Of course, drama is par for the course. “The Chateau Marmont has survived the Depression, World War II, the L.A. riots,” notes Shawn Levy, author of The Castle on Sunset, a recent history of the hotel. “And it will no doubt survive the pandemic, too.” Whether it survives its owner is another matter.

MEL’S DRIVE-IN IS HOPPING AGAIN L . A .’ S R E S TAU RA N T S

are adapting to the COVID-19 lockdown in innovative ways. Forty-eight years after it closed its famous car hop service, Mel’s Drive-In is returning to its roots with servers ferrying food to customers’ cars at the chain’s West Hollywood, Santa Monica, and Sherman Oaks locations. “We can’t have people seated inside,” says Steven Weiss, whose father, Mel, opened his first location in San Francisco

C U R B S E RV I C E

The timeless charm of Mel’s Drive-In car-hop service is winning over new fans in a time of historic isolation and loneliness

C H AT E AU M A R M O N T: AA R O N P/ B AU E R - G R I F F I N /G C I M AG E S ; A N D R É B A L A ZS : M A R K SAG L I O CCO/G E T T Y I M AG E S : M E L’ S D R I V E - I N : I N STAG R A M .CO M / M E L S D R I V E I N

CHECKED OUT

Plunging bookings at the West Hollywood landmark in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic are at least partly behind the firings of faithful employees

he did it so workers could collect unemployment. But they could have collected it anyway. He used this as a way of firing people he didn’t want without getting sued.” The Chateau remains open to a few long-term guests, run by a skeletal staff of about ten. But the usually jam-packed restaurant and bar are shuttered. It’s hardly the only highend hotel that’s hurting: The Andaz, the Fairmont Miramar, the Luxe on Rodeo, the NoMad, the Standard in WeHo and downtown, the Montage, and the Regent Beverly Wilshire have all temporarily shut down since the pandemic began. And while the Beverly Hills Hotel and the Sunset Tower remain open, they’ve shed a slew of staff—though continued to provide some paid leave and insurance benefits to their furloughed employees. Insiders say Balazs has retreated to his 76-acre estate, Locusts on Hudson, in New York, telling staff he’d be back in two years. One longtime Chateau employee told Los Angeles: “I have no clue whether we’ll get our jobs back—as that wasn’t


NUMBER OF DRESSES THAT REESE WITHERSPOON IS DONATING TO BELEAGUERED L.A. SCHOOLTEACHERS FROM HER DRAPER JAMES FASHION LINE. THE GARMENTS, WHICH RETAIL FOR $51 AT TARGET, WILL BE RAFFLED OFF ONLINE

in 1947. “But no one said you can’t have carhop service.” From the 1920s to the 1950s, L.A. was home to scores of car-hop-staffed joints, and Steven Weiss thinks the drivein resurgence might continue after the crisis ends. “We’re making the most of a bad situation,” says Mel’s grandson Colton Weiss. “We’re called Mel’s Drive-In for a reason.” —CHRIS NICHOLS

CASHING IN ON CORONA PANIC W H I L E M O S T Los Angeles

5 0 D O L L A R B I L L : A N TO N P E T R U S /G E T T Y I M AG E S ; Q UA R A N T I N E TA P E : G E T T Y I M AG E S ; L E X I CO N I L LU ST R AT I O N S : B R I A N TAY LO R

companies have been hard hit by the pandemic, one canny company views it as a business opportunity. UP(st) ART, a shared-living space for aspiring “creatives” recently

rebranded one of its East Hollywood facilities “Quarantine Shared Housing.” “For those who have tested positive for COVID-19, but do not have a separate place to go to quarantine during this time, we are renting sleeping pod beds in shared rooms,” the company announced on Craigslist in March. A spot in one of the pods, described by a former resident as “a bunk bed in a box,” runs $500 a month. The three-bedroom house sleeps 48 people,

according to UP(st)ART cofounders Jeremiah Adler and Sarah Emick. “We have the capacity to basically have a quarantine and recovery place where young people that don’t have a lot of money can safely stay inexpensively,” says Adler. He stresses that the building is “not a medical facility” and is “intended solely for those with mild, manageable symptoms.” Neither Adler nor Emick clarified what exactly that means. “It was simply a test ad to gauge interest,” says Emick, who is engaged to Adler. COVID-19 could not have come at a worse time for the coliving industry. With public health officials advising people to isolate, dorm-style living has become decidedly less hip. And UP(st)ART’s youthful demographic has proved especially vulnerable to the pandemic’s fallout. Adler says 95 percent of his residents have lost their jobs. “Pretty much half of our members aren’t paying this month and have payment plans,” he says. “We’ve tried to help get people food stamps and unemployment and whatnot.” UP(st)ART and other coliving businesses have long touted themselves as a solution to the housing crisis. “[We] provide places for people to live so they can focus on their careers rather than trying to pay 1,500 bucks for a studio apartment,” Adler says. A few weeks after the post appeared, it was flagged and removed on Craigslist. “I guess the whole virus thing made them nervous,” Adler says. — SA M U E L B R AS LOW

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SOMEONE GET T THAT COVIDIOT OT A QUARINTINI! I!

I

t didn’t take long for the coronavirus crisis to introduce a flock of new words and concepts pts to the national lexicon. Here are a few of our favorites. — PAU L S C H R O DT

The COVID 15

Quarantunes

(or the coronavirus 15 or the COVID 19) A reference to the binge eating and inevitable weight gain (15 or 19 pounds) experienced by snackers in self-quarantine.

Songs to keep us sane during lockdown and to brighten the spirits of the infected and secluded such as Tom Hanks.

Quarantini Coronavirus Hoarding The frantic, irresponsible accumulation of an outsize number of groceries, toilet paper, and other necessities.

An alcoholic beverage enjoyed in self-isolation, often a simple cocktail nonmixologists can easily y mak make at home.

Virtual Happy Hour Virt Ad drink break shared with h friends via FaceTime, frie Zoom, Skype, or a similarr Zoo serv service. Also a more socially acceptable way to get wasted acce whi while home alone.

Super-Spreader Su One who spreads the coronavirus at a disproportionately high rate. A Typhoid a Ma for COVID-19. Mary

Panic Buying

Coronic

The impulse to pick up things simply driven by a feeling of helplessness brought on by the pandemic including wholly unnecessary items like curtains.

A person who has been infected with the coronavirus. “Where’s Sarah?” “I heard she is coronic.”

Similarly Coroned Covidiot One who proudly flouts social distancing and other recommendations by public health authorities. Including but not limited to elderly grandparents booking world cruises and spring breakers bumping and grinding on the beach.

Quarantine Shaming The act of publicly calling out and vilifying people who either don’t or can’t abide by the #staythefuckhome mantra we all need to follow.

To be put out of the game, out of work, or otherwise incapacitated brought about by infection. “No one’s seen Mike since he was coroned.”

Quarantine Kids A reference to the massive baby boom that will result from couples amusing themselves while locked at home for the duration of the pandemic.

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Buzz

FA S H I O N

Going Viral

THE FASHION WORLD RESPONDS TO THE COVID-19 CRISIS, AND MANY ARE LEFT TO WONDER, SHOULD IT? B Y L I N D A I M M E D I AT O

T

H E FA S H IO N I N DU S T R Y

has never shied away from a crisis, with decidedly mixed results. After Hurricane Sandy, Annie Leibovitz trooped to New York’s East Village for a Vogue fashion shoot that starred some of the city’s rumpled first responders posing beneath a dressed-to-thenines Karlie Kloss. The feature was derided as gauche and tasteless by social media and the press. And last year, following the California wildfires, popular L.A.based Fashion Nova released a T-shirt featuring the image of a blaze and the words “This must be Paradise.” Not surprisingly, residents of the devastated town didn’t take kindly to the stylish shoutout. In response to the uproar the brand promptly dropped the garment and issued a public apology. In the wake of the global COVID-19 pandemic, fashion has once again jammed its foot in the door of the worldwide conversation. In February luxury brands from Marine Serre to Maison Margiela filled the Paris runways with masked models. Serre insisted that her glitzy face masks, made of houndstooth fabric or covered with crystals, were cre-

ated long before the novel coronavirus hit. Margiela’s lace veils were also chalked up to coincidence. Meanwhile front-row veterans were offered face masks during the Dries Van Noten and Paco Rabanne shows. The crisis has also produced coronavirus influencers, many of whom make their living promoting fashion brands. Pretty young women posing in crop tops and miniskirts were suddenly snapping sexy selfies in hipster surgical masks and dispensing advice to their thousands of followers. Jada Hai Phong Nguyen warned her fans simply to “avoid sick people.” In Europe, where the virus threatens to wipe out $40 billion of the $132 billion luxury goods industry, a slew of high-end designers united to fight it, Donatella Versace and Miuccia Prada among them. Paris-based fashion behemoth LVMH, which owns Givenchy, Bulgari, Louis Vuitton, and Dior, ordered its perfume facilities to stop making scents and start producing hand sanitizer. In the U.S. many smaller brands like Rachel Comey and Christian Siriano are scurrying to stitch together surgical masks to fill the void. This despite the Centers for

PA N D E M I C ST Y L E

Top right: A model hits the runway in a Marine Serre houndstooth jacket and matching mask. Above from left: Chanel’s logo-emblazoned face mask; Givenchy and Dior parent LVMH’s hand sanitizer; an influencer in COVID chic 18 L A M AG . C O M

Disease Control having stated that only N95 respirators effectively protect medical professionals. Siriano admits that his masks aren’t surgical grade but thinks they might be OK for civilians. Here in L.A., where companies like contemporary line BLDWN are declaring bankruptcy due to financial fallout from the virus, help is coming from an unlikely source—notorious fashion magnate Dov Charney. The former CEO of American Apparel is converting the 150,000-squarefoot factory of his new label, Los Angeles Apparel, to manufacture surgical masks and hospital gowns. Charney claims that he can churn out about 300,000 masks and 50,000 gowns a week. “We don’t know what the fuck we’re doing, let’s be clear,” he has stated, adding that the federal government is supplying him with fabric and guidelines. Hopefully he’ll take a cue from Fashion Nova and skip the coronavirus tees.

R U N WAY M O D E L : CO U RT E SY M A R I N E S E R R E ; C H A N E L : C L AU D I O L AV E N I A /G E T T Y I M AG E S ; LV M H : I N STAG R A M .CO M / L AU R E N I ; COV I D C H I C : I N STAG R A M .CO M / R O M Y D FO N S E C A

Even the notorious Dov Charney plans a line of surgical masks.


MESOPOTAMIA Civilization Begins

Visit online at getty.edu

Image: Statue of Prince Gudea (detail), Neo-Sumerian period, about 2120 B.C. Dolerite. Musée du Louvre, Department of Near Eastern Antiquities, Paris. Gift of Boisgelin, 1967 (de Clercq collection). © Scala / Art Resource, NY. Text and design © 2020 J. Paul Getty Trust



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@HOME

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Inner Strength > Stay entertained—and inside—with home workouts that are actually enjoyable, Dan Levy’s wit and wisdom, and the latest must-stream shows

P H O T O G R A P H BY C O R I NA M A R I E H OW E L L

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AT H O M E

Mind & Body SW E AT I T O U T

Ryan Heffington, a noted choreographer—he’s the genius behind Sia’s “Chandelier” video—and owner of Silver Lake’s the Sweat Spot, is holding regular dance classes on Instagram live (@ryan .heffington) that are catharP E LOTO N

tic and joyous, with an occasional booty break to twerk things out. Classes are free, but donations are encouraged. Even if you can’t spring

EXPERT TIP

Bec Wilcock k Nike Running Coach

> Running is a greatt source of cardio. Keep it interesting and challenge yourself by doing intervals: set a timer, run for one minute then walk for one minute. Repeat for ten to 20 minutes. Be cautious when running outside and make sure to keep social distance. I’ve been going early in the mornings when no one is around.

22 L A M AG . C O M

for a Peloton, you can still get a good Peloton workout. The company is offering a free 90-day trial of its app, which includes a number of options, from strength training to stretching, that don’t involve spinning. Many are just ten or 20 minutes, perfect for a stealth WFH break.

R YA N HEFFINGTON

ST R E TC H I T O U T

Stay relaxed and limber— makeshift home office be damned—with online yoga classes. Mini-empire One Down Dog (onedowndog .com) is streaming classes via Zoom, and virtual yogis can attend their first one for just $5. Several options are offered each day, from disco flow to prenatal to kids. Ellen Huang Saltarelli, a popular Eagle Rock teacher known for using props, is livestreaming donationbased sessions on her website (ellen.yoga) several times a week. Roam, with locations in Frogtown and Silver Lake, has also gone online with several level-specific offerings each day. F I N D I N N E R P E AC E

Now is probably an ideal time to take up that meditation you’ve been meaning to get to for years. Yoga Nest Venice is posting free meditations on SoundCloud (soundcloud.com/yoganest venice). The DEN (denany where.com), with locations in Studio City and La Brea, has a range of daily streamed classes, from self-compassion to breath work. Single sessions start at $10 each or opt for a subscription if you plan to stick with it. Unplug (unplug.com) is also conducting its myriad classes online, from sound healing to breath work. One-shots

are $24, but there’s an intro deal with two weeks of unlimited sessions for $35. KEEP YOUR KIDS MOVING

You’re not the only one who needs to stay active. British fitness guru Joe Wicks (@thebodycoach), who has more than 3 million Instagram followers, is running free daily PE classes for elementary schoolers. The

COSMIC KIDS

classes are about a half hour and feature plenty of running in place, shadowboxing, and other potentially exhausting moves. For younger children (three and up) check out Cosmic Kids on YouTube (youtube.com /user/cosmickidsyoga) for yoga and mindfulness videos with elaborate animated backdrops and storytelling elements.

PELOTON: TIM TADDER; RYAN HEFFINGTON: JACOB JONAS; BEC WILBOX: COURTESY BEC WILBOX; COSMIC KIDS: YOUTUBE

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KENNY “BABYFACE” EDMONDS

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AT H O M E

Deep Schitt DAN LEVY DISHES ON THE END OF SCHITT’S CREEK, SHOPPING WITH LIZZO, AND THE SOAPY TEEN DRAMA THAT’S KEEPING HIM ENTERTAINED WHILE STAYING IN BY ROB E RT I T O

F

OR S I X S E A S ON S , Dan Levy starred on Schitt’s Creek as the once-rich son

of a once-rich dad (played by his real-life dad, Eugene) who finds himself, along with the rest of his family, broke and living in a seedy roadside motel. In addition to playing David Rose, the show’s spoiled, openly pansexual clotheshorse, the 36-year-old Levy was also a cocreator and the showrunner. The series, which had its finale on Pop TV in April and is streaming on Netflix, not only is hilarious, it also presents a vision of what the world might look like if folks were just a bit nicer to each other. It’s a perfect binge for our current housebound moment. On a recent morning Levy talked with Los Angeles about the show, his prefame days in a Kelly Clarkson video, and what it means to make comedy when times are dark.

I wish we could do this in person, but we’ve all been told to stay in. Just so we can set the scene: Where are you, and what are you wearing? > I’m at home [in Los Feliz] in gym shorts and a hoodie. I’ve officially stopped dressing for anybody, let alone myself. It’s all about comfort and ease. So you’re sheltering in place? > I am self-quarantining with my canine companion, Redmond. He’s a 14-year-old corgi-dachshund mix. For the first time his dad is home for a decent period of 24 L A M AG . C O M

time, so there’s a silver lining for him at least. If you weren’t on lockdown, who are the three people, living or dead, whom you’d want to go clothes shopping with? > Paul Newman. Harry Styles. And ... Lizzo. I feel like I’ve got all sartorial bases covered with those three. What are you doing to keep yourself occupied? > I just finished the latest season of Elite, which is a Spanish teen soap opera that I love very much. Up next is the latest season of

I have to admit, I resisted watching your show even after everyone was raving about it. I didn’t think I’d like a show about a bunch of rich assholes. But, of course, that wasn’t what the show is at all. > Well, I’m happy to have pleasantly surprised you! The whole premise of the show is about how a family that used money to fix their problems and to represent love and to bandage any conflict is put in a situation where they don’t have that luxury. So what does love look like, what do conflicts look like, when all you have is each other?

I NS I D E E D I T I ON

While housebound Levy is watching Elite and Homeland, learning to cook, and spending quality time with his corgidachshund, Raymond

POP TV

SCHITT’S CREEK

Homeland, and I’m taking up cooking for the first time. But I’m also trying to stay focused on some work that I have to do. I feel like regimented days are really important now. I was sort of wandering through my house reading the news, and then suddenly it was 8 p.m. So I made a very quick decision to implement a schedule and stick to it.


It seems like a particularly welcome message right about now. > Yeah, we saw a rise in viewership a few years back when someone came into power and people were looking to television shows for a soft place to land for 20 minutes a week. Once the government shifted, the responses we were getting from viewers wasn’t just, “Hey, fun show.” It was like, “Thank you for making me laugh in some dark times. Thank you for alleviating some of the weekly anxiety that I have.”

B A R K I T E C T U R E A N D P U N K’ D : Q U I B I O F F I C I A L T E AS E R S , YO U T U B E

There was a big billboard on Sunset Boulevard a few months back of you and Patrick (David’s fiancé on the show, played by Noah Reid) kissing. Was that important to you? > We’ve seen it all the time with rom-coms and straight couples, and yet I’ve never seen it with a gay couple, and I didn’t know when I’d have another opportunity to put a billboard out in the world that shows two men kissing. For the longest time couples of all different shapes and sizes were taking pictures of themselves kissing in front of it. Years ago you were in a music video with Kelly Clarkson for about a half second. Would you do another? > You’d have to ask her, but I am willing and able to do that at any time. It’s always fun to get to meet people you really love, particularly in music, because music plays such a formative role in how I write. Any time I get the opportunity to meet an artist that has played such a crucial role in the creative process, I always feel like I know them way more than I actually do.

What’s the nicest thing a fan has said to you? > Oh, goodness. I keep every letter that’s been written to me. People have written in to say that the show has quite literally saved their life. They were suicidal and found the show, and the show had comforted them and talked them off a ledge. I’ve received letters from young queer kids who have told me that they’ve used dialogue from the show to come out to their parents. What’s coming up for you? > We just finished shooting Happiest Season [a romantic comedy in which Kristen Stewart hopes to propose to her girlfriend, only to discover that the girlfriend hasn’t come out to her conservative parents yet], which comes out in November. This is the first film I’ve done in quite some time, and to be a part of a movie where we have two female leads falling in love with each other, that was a real treat. That title sounds like some sort of trick. > I can’t give too much away, but it’s definitely tonguein-cheek. It would not be a holiday movie without major conflict. What are you going to miss about the show or working with your dad? > I think just getting to see my family on a regular basis. Not that I don’t see them all the time. When we’re not in Toronto, we’re here. But I think I’ll miss the same thing that I’ll miss working with the rest of our cast and crew: getting to laugh with people and getting to create with people that you really love and trust and admire.

BARKITECTURE

TELEVISION

What to Watch on Quibi Can’t commit to watching shows in lengthy 30-minute chunks? Quibi—as in Qui(ck) Bi(tes)—is here at last. The much anticipated new streaming platform from ex-DreamWorker Jeffrey Katzenberg and former eBay and Hewlett-Packard CEO Meg Whitman is packed with mini-episodes of scripted, unscripted, and news content that run 10 minutes or less. Subscriptions range from $4.99 to $7.99 a month. Here are a few shows that caught our eye.

The Stranger The Killing’s Veena Sud directs this thriller about a rideshare driver (Maika Monroe from It Follows) who picks up— and flees from—a sketchy fare (Chronicle’s Dane DeHaan). Buckle up. Gayme Show What was once a subversive live show—in which two bro contestants battled to be Queen of the Straights—is now a full-blown series. The game show’s creators,

PUNK’D

comedians Matt Rogers (Las Culturistas) and Dave Mizzoni (Making It), cohost. Reno 911! Remember this Comedy Central classic about Nevada’s notso-finest? The full cast reunites in May for a seventh season of what writer-star Thomas Lennon calls “reboot goofin’.” Punk’d The hidden-cam show that sent celebs into panic attacks for more

than a decade is back, with more elaborate setups and a new King of Pranks—Chance the Rapper (below) who replaces Ashton Kutcher. Barkitecture MTV Cribs + Pimp My Ride + dogs = Barkitecture, a showcase of “off the leash” dog houses. Interior design maven Delia Kenza turns dreams into reality alongside The Bachelorette’s Tyler Cameron. Survive Sophie Turner (Game of Thrones) and Corey Hawkins (Straight Outta Compton) must brave a fresh circle of wintry hell in this drama after their flight crashes into a remote, snowcapped mountain.

L A M AG . C O M 25


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AT H O M E

T H E M E T : G ÖT T E R DÄ M M E R U N G

Art and Entertainment WA L K TO T H E TA L K

C RAC K O P E N A B O O K

In All Adults Here (May 4), best-selling author Emma

Straub chronicles the life of one multigenerational family with her trademark humor and warmth, exploring what does—and does not—change as siblings grow older and examining the long-lasting impact of childhood events. In Stray (May 5), Sweetbitter author Stephanie Danler gets real, chronicling her

personal journey to where she grew up in Southern California and her struggle to grapple with her family’s history of alcoholism, drug addiction, and tragedy. In another memoir of the moment, Mikel Jollett writes of being raised in an experimental commune in Hollywood Park (May 5).

BOOKS

A Writer on Reading

> STEPHANIE DANLER, AUTHOR OF THE NEW MEMOIR STRAY AND A SILVER LAKE RESIDENT, NAMES THE BOOKS THAT SHE’S TURNING TO RIGHT NOW

The Talented Mr. Ripley Talen Patricia Highsmith

City of Quartz Mike Davis

King Baby Kate Beaton

> “Forget the movie. I just got into Highsmith, and she couldn’t have come at a better time, time,” Danle Danler says. “This bookk was so masterful and stylish, ylish, so dark and escapist—think —think summer on the Mediterranean—and iterranean—and it kept me e up into the night. Best of all, there’s more— an entire tire series devoted to this charismatic matic sociopath.” path.”

> “Angelenos, now is the time to lean into Mike Davis’s apocalyptic, passionate, radical rants on the sprawling, gorgeous mess that is L Los Angeles,” she says.

> “It’s one of those children’s books that are equally fun for kids and the adult reading,” says Danler, who has a 15-month-old son. “It’s about how King Baby rules and tyrannizes his useless subjects subje e (his parents). That is unti untili Queen Baby comes along along.” g

26 L A M AG G.COM

G O TO T H E O P E RA

The Met (metopera.org) has canceled the remainder of its 2020 season but will be streaming operas nightly from its archives. Brussels opera house La Monnaie (lamonnaie.be) has also curated a “virtual season” that includes faves like Tristan und Isolde and Aida, and London’s Royal Opera has dozens of arias and choruses available on its YouTube channel. Want to peruse an even bigger selection? Try the free streaming platform OperaVision (operavision .eu), which has a vast treasure trove of performances from across Europe. HIT THE MUSEUM

Google Arts & Culture (artsandculture.google .com) allows you to take in masterworks from Paris’s Musée d’Orsay, NYC’s MoMA, and other world-renowned institutions, including our own Getty Center. Head to LACMA’s website (lacma.org) to find free classes, documentaries, and performances, and enjoy a digital gallery of art from the permanent collection. Take a virtual tour of the

T H E M E T: K E N H OWA R D/ M E T R O P O L I TA N O P E R A ; ST E P H A N I E DA N L E R : E M I LY K N E C H T; T H E TA L E N T E D M R . R I P L E Y : V I N TAG E / E B U RY; C I T Y O F Q UA RTZ : V I N TAG E ; K I N G B A BY : S C H O L AST I C I N C .

Grab your headphones, go for a walk, and get lost in a podcast. WeCrashed: The Rise and Fall of WeWork untangles the strange and bingeworthy saga of how the coworking company imploded. For something lighter, slip under the sheets with beloved Hollywood couple Megan Mullally and Nick Offerman (and some of their celebrity friends) on In Bed with Nick and Megan. Or, if you’re seeking a little guidance, check out Urgent Care with Joel Kim Booster and Mitra Jouhari to hear two of L.A.’s best up-and-coming funny folks dole out “Dear Abby”-style advice.


T WO WO M E N : CO U RT E SY L AC M A ; S N OW P I E R C E R : CO U RT E SY T N T; ST E P H E N B R U N E R : K E I T H B E D FO R D/ T H E B OSTO N G LO B E V I A G E T T Y I M AG E S

stunning rotunda at New York’s Guggenheim on its website (guggenheim.org) or explore a digital collection of more than 200 art books it has made available on Internet Archive (archive .org). Amsterdam’s Van Gogh Museum (vangoghmuseum.nl) not only lets you enjoy a closer look at the works of the iconic Impressionist, it encourages you to make your own masterpieces—print out the museum’s free coloring pages for your kids or yourself.

TWO WOMEN E R N ST LU DW I G K I R C H N E R ( L AC M A .O R G )

C ATC H A CO N C E R T

Attend classical performances by visiting the Berlin Philharmonic’s Digital Concert Hall (digitalconcerthall .com), or tune in to the new series At Home with Gustavo (kusc.org), on which L.A. Phil conductor Gustavo Dudamel will share his favorite music. If show tunes are more your thing, Broadway’s finest are performing Living Room Concerts (broad wayworld.com), and full productions are available on BroadwayHD (broadwayhd. com) for just a few dollars a month. Rolling Stone’s IGTV series In My Room (on Instagram @rollingstone) fea-

tures intimate performances with musicians recorded in their own homes, and the Grammy Museum (grammymuseum.org) has a digital library of talks with musicians like Billie Eilish. If you wind up inspired, you can also peruse the museum’s free music education series. K E E P O N ST R E A M I N G

Already binged Tiger King? Fear not, there’s plenty of great new content. Roll through the streets of NYC with an all-girl skate crew in the HBO comedy Betty (May 1). Follow the too-crazy-tobe-true true story of a con man who preys on lovelorn Midwestern women in the four-part Showtime docuseries Love Fraud (May 8). And see how Bong Joonho’s acclaimed sci-fi climatechange thriller Snowpiercer (May 31) translates to TV when the long-awaited TNT series kicks off at the end of the month. GET SOME NEW TUNES

If you haven’t already checked out Thundercat’s It Is What It Is, which dropped in April, give a listen to the

bassist’s beautiful, at times melancholic new album—his fourth and best to date. L.A. four-piece Chicano Batman conjures up a groovy, funkfused utopia on their new release, Invisible People, out May 1. That date will also mark the return of the Dixie Chicks, whose first record in 14 years is named after its fiery, Jack Antonoff-produced single, “Gaslighter.” H AV E STO RY T I M E WITH CELEBS

Burning out on homeschooling your kids? Take a load off and let some celebrities read to them. Jennifer Garner and Amy Adams have launched Save With Stories (@savewith stories) on Instagram, wrangling famous friends to read popular children’s books. Parents and little ones alike can delight in a plaid-clad Chris Evans reading If You Give a Dog a Donut; other big names include Kerry Washington, Jeff Bridges, and Natalie Portman. The content is free, but the program is in partnership with Save the Children and No Kid Hungry, and donations are encouraged.

S N OW P I E R C E R

MUSIC

Pandemic Playlist > STEPHEN “THUNDERCAT” BRUNER SHARES THE SONGS THAT ARE HELPING HIM STAY SANE WHILE STAYING IN

Intro and outro theme music Neon Genesis Evangelion > The ’90s psychological anime drama and its accompanying tunes are big at Chez Thundercat. “It’s awesome! I’ve loved it for a very long time. It’s pretty in-depth with an interesting plot.”

“Can You Feel the Sunshine?” Sonic R soundtrack > This track from the classic Sega video game caught Thundercat’s ear when he was young, and it’s something he hasn’t forgotten. “It’s got an EDM vibe, and it was one of my first introductions to all that. It takes me back to being a kid and playing the game— and it’s a really dope song.”

“Exhibit A” Jay Electronica > This is an early masterwork from the reclusive New Orleans MC. “He’s an amazing rapper, and this track is his best piece of work. I love the way it makes me feel.”

“You Better Move” Lil Uzi Vert > Stark beats and video-game samples combine on this fresh album track. “Of all the songs on Uzi’s new album, Eternal Awake, this is the one that really hits home for me.”

L A M AG . C O M 27


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AT H O M E

M OV I E S

Primal Stream WHAT REALLY ENTERTAINS WHEN YOU’RE HOME ALONE AND IN THE THROES OF A GLOBAL PANDEMIC? BY STEVE ERICKSON

happens when you’re busy making other plans, John Lennon once sang, and that was before Mother Nature hit the pause button on civilization a month or two ago. One of my plans this spring had included teaching a college course called Entropia—not to be confused with dystopia —about the fiction and cinema of Things Coming Apart; then COVID-19 decided to conduct its own master class on the subject. So now, like

reached our shores: The 1995 feature Outbreak and the 2007 miniseries Pandemic immediately started trending on Netflix. As a genre the epidemic movie has been around longer than you might think. A full seven decades ago it was the stuff of film noir, in the form of Elia Kazan’s Panic in the Streets (rentable on Vudu, among others) which, interestingly enough, was originally titled Outbreak. In it a public health service lieutenant tries to head off a plague in New Orleans. A

C O N TA G I O N C O N TA G I O N

you (I hope), I’ve spent much of the last six weeks hunkered down and taking shelter from a storm no one can see until it’s already blown through and left its wreckage, teaching my class remotely and reconsidering all the forms of entropy I never imagined. Epidemic-disaster movies suddenly took off on the streaming services when the novel coronavirus first 28 L A M AG . C O M

pretty good movie—but it bombed at the box office, which was rare for a picture by Kazan, at the time America’s most respected director. Actually, with few exceptions, epidemic movies have never been wildly popular. They hit too close to home even before our new plague came along. Unlike zombie movies, where some part of our brain never forgets

there are no such thing as zombies—if you don’t count the president of the United States—epidemic tales are more the stuff of dread than thrills. Hiding under a blanket after having watched a half hour of Steven Soderbergh’s typically expert Contagion (2011), I found myself wondering just what the heck I was doing: Wasn’t the contagion of the nightly news freaking me out enough without watching a movie called Contagion? Looking for something lighter, on Hulu I found High-Rise, based on a J.G. Ballard novel in which the entire world huddles inside a single skyscraper where social distancing isn’t an option, with the teeming masses devouring each other at the bottom while Jeremy Irons celebrates his lifestyle of entitlement and splendor in the penthouse. On Netflix I turned to Snowpiercer, from Parasite’s newly minted Oscar winner Bong Joon-ho. The setup is similar to High-Rise, except it’s horizontal. What’s left of the human race is self-quarantined on a train making its way through snowy postapocalyptic mountains, the lower classes at the back trying to fight their way to the luxury lounge car at the front, no doubt provided to Ed Harris by a government bailout. On Vudu was David Cronenberg’s adaptation of Don DeLillo’s Cosmopolis, which turns the idea of Snowpiercer and High-Rise inside out: In the calm bubble of his limousine,

Epidemic movies hit too close to home even before our new plague came along. Mr. One Percent (in the form of an excellent Robert Pattinson) glides through a Manhattan that’s coming apart, his fortune leaking millions of dollars at a time. It might not surprise you that none of these was much more fun than Contagion, and watching movies about being stuck in a skyscraper or a train or a limousine didn’t exactly abate any sense of claustrophobia that anyone might have being stuck inside his house for a month. As I browsed for anything that didn’t leave me to my own depressing devices, up popped Netflix’s “top pick for you,” which in this case was a new stand-up comedy special called End Times Fun with Marc Maron. Watching and listening to Maron, the host of the popular podcast WTF and a regular on GLOW, I laughed out loud for the first time in a while, even as most of the routine was gallows humor, maybe the only kind relevant enough to be funny. But I couldn’t help being unsettled that, out of its many options, Netflix would calculate that something called End Times Fun was absolutely perfect for me.

CONTAGION: WARNER BROS. PICTURES/PHOTOFEST; PANIC IN THE STREETS: TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX FILM CORP./PHOTOFEST

L I F E I S W H AT


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St. Vincent Jewelry Š 2020

Executive Director, Sankofa.org

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Eat @HOME

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> From recipe ideas and pasta tips from the pros to virtual wine tastings, everything you need to keep sane and satiated—while supporting your favorite local businesses

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Eat

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Eat Your Veggies O R D E R A C SA B OX

Get seasonal produce without having to brave the grocery store by ordering from community-supported agriculture (CSA) programs, many of which deliver. The South Central Farmers’ Cooperative (southcentral farmers.com) offers organic produce via one-time purchases or subscriptions. Farm Fresh to You (farm freshtoyou.com) has boxes of fruits and veggies, along with meat, eggs, and more. County Line Harvest (countylineharvest.com) has pickup locations across the city, and home delivery is available if you add some Röckenwagner Bakery bread to your order—and why wouldn’t you? Good Life Organics (goodlifeorganics .org) donates to local schools. GrubMarket (socal.grub market.com) supports more than 100 farmers and offers CSA-style boxes with add-ons like dairy and kombucha.

RECIPE

Vegetally Versatile Frittata > MISS EATING OUT AT YOUR FAVORITE SPOTS? WHIP UP THIS WHOLESOME DISH FROM SQIRL CHEF-OWNER JESSICA KOSLOW’S COOKBOOK EVERYTHING I WANT TO EAT Makes one frittata (six inches). Serves one very hungry person or two modestly hungry people. 2 big handfuls (about 70 grams) greens— spinach, chard, or kale leaves (no fibrous stems) 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 1⁄4 teaspoon ground cumin 3 large eggs 1 tablespoon unsalted butter Fresh herbs or spices of your choice Sea salt to taste 1⁄2 lemon (optional) Hot sauce, for serving (optional) First, make the veggie puree. Fill a bowl with ice water. Drop the greens into a pot of boiling salted water and blanch for one minute. Transfer the greens to the ice bath. Let cool, then drain and squeeze out excess water. Using a food processor or a blender, puree the greens along with two tablespoons of olive oil, a small handful of fresh herbs such as parsley and tarragon, and a pinch of salt.

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Crack the eggs into a bowl and add two pinches of salt. Whisk to break up the eggs, then whisk in the veggie puree. Melt the butter in a six-inch cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat. Add the egg-veggie mixture, stir for 15 seconds with a rubber spatula, then move the skillet to the oven. Exactly eight minutes later, check in on the frittata. It should look slightly puffed (like a soufflé) and feel firm (not jiggly and wet) around the edges. If it needs another minute, leave it in the oven until it’s just cooked, but take care not to overcook. The middle will be the last part to finish cooking and, as you get the hang of it, you’ll see that if you take the skillet out of the oven when the middle is still a tiny bit jiggly, the residual heat will finish cooking it. Finish with a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lemon juice, and serve with hot sauce. Reprinted from Everything I Want to Eat by Jessica Koslow (Abrams 2016)

GROCERIES

Go for the Greens

Baby celery from Yasutomi Farms

Strawberries from Harry’s Berries

Sugar snap peas from Tutti Frutti Farms

Pea tendrils from Weiser Family Farms

Avocados from JJ’s Lone Daughter Ranch

> It has a “concentrated” flavor, Nightshade’s Mei Lin says of this hydroponically grown veggie. “In Chinese [home] cooking, you use it in stir-fry.” Available at Santa Monica, Hollywood, and Torrance farmers’ markets

> “They offer the nicest variety of strawberries at the markets; each variety can be used differently,” says Maude’s Curtis Stone. At Santa Monica, Torrance, Pasadena, Hollywood, Venice, and Santa Clarita farmers’ markets

> “They’re really plump and very sweet,” says Sabel Braganza, the chef at West Hollywood hot spot E.P. & L.P. “I always use them in my fried rice.” At Santa Monica and Hollywood farmers’ markets

> “Everything that Alex Weiser grows is incredible,” says Bon Temps’ Lincoln Carson, who suggests adding these to a salad. At Santa Monica, Hollywood, Mar Vista, and Claremont farmers’ markets

> “I blend them with arugula, spinach, and basil for a new twist on a classic Italian pasta [sauce],” says Josiah Citrin of Mélisse, Charcoal Venice, and Dear John’s. At Hollywood and Santa Monica farmers’ markets

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V E G I TA B L E S : G E T T Y I M AG E S ; F R I TAT TA : CO U RT E SY E V E RY T H I N G I WA N T TO E AT

> FRESHEN UP! AS OF PRESS TIME, MANY OF THE CITY’S FARMERS’ MARKETS WERE STILL OPERATING—THE STATE CONSIDERS THEM AN ESSENTIAL SERVICE—PROVIDING A DELIGHTFUL ALTERNATIVE TO CROWDED SUPERMARKETS AND BARREN SHELVES



Eat

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E X P E R T A DV I C E

Use Your Noodles BORED BY THE ALL THAT PASTA IN YOUR PANTRY? TOP CHEFS SHARE SIMPLE TIPS FOR SPICING UP SPAGHETTI

3 4 L A M AG . C O M

Rosemary

> Make a paste of chopped anchovies, minced rosemary, garlic, and a neutral oil and toss with pasta. “It has an amazing flavor,” says Michael Teich of West Hollywood’s the Nice Guy*, Petite Taqueria*, and Delilah*.

Peanut Butter

> Herve Guillard at the Institute of Culinary Education, suggests simmering a can of coconut milk and half cup of peanut butter with some soy or fish sauce, ground cardamom, and whatever veggies you have handy. It’s “a pantry take on Thai peanut curry.”

Canned Fish

> Quickly sauté chopped canned sardines or anchovies with garlic and chili flakes, then add some canned tomatoes for a simple sauce, recommends Chris Flint, executive chef at Maude* in Beverly Hills.

* R E S TAU R A N T I S C U R R E N T LY O F F E R I NG TA K E O U T A N D/O R D E L I V E RY

G E T T Y I M AG E S

Lemon

> Mix lemon juice with grated Parmesan, olive oil, black pepper, and parsley, advises Steve Samson of downtown’s Rossoblu and Superfine Pizza* . “The acid from the lemon breaks down the cheese proteins, creating a really cool texture.”


MR. HOLMES BAKEHOUSE S TA R T E R K I T

Get Cooking STA R T E R S O M E T H I N G

If you didn’t start cultivating a sourdough starter as soon as the mayor told us to stay home, it’s not too late to make a yeasty pet that will give rise to homemade bread for decades. Highland Park’s Mr. Holmes Bakehouse (mrholmeskits.com) has kits that include a lively starter and flour—all you need to bake your own loaves. To whip up a starter of your own, check out the King Arthur Flour website (kingarthurflour.com) or grab the Bestia (bestiala .com) cookbook.

in classes from chefs like Onda’s Gabriela Cámara and master baker Dominique Ansel on MasterClass .com for $15 a month.

B R E A D STA RT E R K I T: CO U RT E SY M R . H O L M E S B A K E H O U S E ; A P R O N : CO U RT E SY H E D L E Y & B E N N E T T

F O L LOW T H E P R OS

Better at eating out than you are cooking at home? Log in to Instagram (you were probably there already anyway) for some tips and tricks. World-renowned Italian pasta maestro Massimo Bottura (@massimobottura), who recently opened an osteria atop the Gucci store in Beverly Hills, is livestreaming cooking lessons—in English and Italian—with Q&As from his home kitchen. Many other big names are sharing their #quarantinekitchen skills, including model and cookbook author Chrissy Teigen (@chrissyteigen); former Food Network host and travel writer Aida Mollenkamp (@aidamollenkamp), national treasure Ina Garten (@inagarten); and Silicon Valley comedian-actor Jimmy Yang (@funnyasiandude), who offers local L.A. shopping tips and demonstrations with a side of humor. If you want to really use this time to improve your skills in the kitchen, consider investing

U P YO U R A P R O N G A M E

If you’re going to be spending more time in the kitchen, you’ve got to look—not just cook—the part. Chefs like Josef Centeno and Christina

HEDLEY & BENNETT APRON

Tosi love the simple, chic aprons from Hedley & Bennett (hedleyandbennett .com), and so do we. Plus, the company is making face masks in its downtown factory, and for every mask it sells, H&B will donate one to a health care worker. J O I N T H E C LU B

In recent years, cookbook club dinner parties have been all the rage. You can still cook and eat with friends—virtually. Choose a book from which everyone cooks a dish—bonus if it’s from a local restaurant—and then eat together over Zoom or FaceTime. Another option is @virtualcookingclub on Instagram. Each week the account’s founder, Rachael Sheridan, chooses a recipe and walks you through the process with delightful commentary and helpful tips. “Cooking together right now feels like a slice of normalcy, a glimpse of what awaits us on the other side,” says Sheridan, who lives in Atwater Village with her husband, chef Jeremy Fox, and their young daughter. “I saw this little phrase somewhere, ‘We belong to each other.’ And that’s

what I keep telling everyone. ‘I’ve got you, and you’ve got me. I’m still here. Now let’s talk about how pasta water helps make a silky butter sauce.’ ” P I C K U P S O M E PASTA

Can’t find any spaghetti at the grocery store or sick of the basic bulk stuff you stocked up on? Don’t fret. Get superior noodles while supporting small local businesses. Domenico DiBartolomeo’s Domenico’s Foods (domsfoods.com), a favorite of L.A. chefs, has been selling his fresh pasta and pestos at farmers’ markets for years and offers same-day delivery via Mercato and Postmates. Leah Ferrazzani’s Semolina Artisanal Pasta (semolina pasta.com), a one-woman dry pasta company based in Pasadena, will ship pasta via UPS, while Pasta Sisters (pastasisters.com), the casual Italian restaurant and pasta shop with locations in Culver City and Mid-City, will deliver through Postmates. The Few for All (@fewforall) project will donate a quart of fresh pasta to the Los Angeles Food Bank for every quart purchased. L A M AG . C O M 35


Eat

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COMMUNITY

Heart on Your Sleeve

> SHOW YOUR FAVORITE LOCAL HAUNTS SOME LOVE BY BUYING—AND WEARING—THEIR MARVELOUS MERCHANDISE

In the Hood

Read It and Stay In

Beefy T

> Cozy up in a sweatshirt from downtown’s Otium. $48 at otiumla.myshopify.com

> The front of this tee has the logo for WeHo’s E.P. & L.P., on the back it shares a clear message. $40 at thist-shirt.com

> Get comfy in this soft shirt from the classic burger joint. $22 at cassellshamburgers.com

Sew Cool

Wordplay

> This T patch from Santa Monica’s Birdie G’s Mo add adds a touch of retro chic to whatever you put it on. $5, call the restaurant at 310-310-3616 to order

GET CARDED

Buy gift cards from your local restaurants to give them some much-needed cash flow right now—and let yourself anticipate better days ahead. Los Angeles has partnered with Wagstaff Media & Marketing and a number of chefs, including Broken Spanish’s Ray Garcia and Playa Provisions’ Brooke Williamson, for the One More Helping campaign (onemorehelping .com). For every gift card purchased, participating restaurants will donate $1 to a worthy cause of their choice, like No Kid Hungry. If your usual haunts aren’t part of the program, check their websites or Instagram accounts to see about buying gift cards. 36 L A M AG . C O M

D O N AT E D I R EC T LY

Many businesses have set up ways for the public to support their staffs. The Lucques Group (Lucques, A.O.C. Tavern), which had to close its flagship restaurant, Lucques, months earlier than planned, has a GoFundMe page to raise money for its former workers. MidCity gem Auburn; the massive restaurant and nightlife

Better Than Home Cooking > Many top restaurants are offering takeout, delivery, and even curbside pickup during this time, so don’t forget to order up. For some of our favorites, see EATING IN on page 90.

group SBE; the h.wood Group (the Nice Guy, SLAB, Delilah, and more); Zach Pollack’s Alimento and Cosa Buona; Filipino favorite Ma’am Sir; Susan Feniger and Mary Sue Milliken’s Border Grill and Socalo; and Angler at the Beverly Center have initiated similar campaigns. Even coffee shops like Sightglass and Go Get Em Tiger, which calls its system a “virtual tip jar,” are following suit. If your favorite restaurants aren’t listed here, check online or give them a call to see how you can chip in. STO C K U P

A number of eateries are offering staples and meal kits for far less hassle than major grocers. HomeState (myhomestate.com) not only sells its tasty tacos to go at

its Hollywood outpost, you can also buy rice, dried beans, flour, butter, and more. In West Hollywood, Tesse (tesserestaurant.com) has set up a market selling fresh produce, meats, cheeses, toilet paper, and more. Another WeHo standout, Ronan (ronanla.com), has beautiful loaves of sourdough bread and DIY pizza kits—with dough, tomato sauce, cheese and fresh basil—for curbside pickup. Bonus: The pies are not only a meal, pizza making is also a fun activity for stir-crazy children. Santa Monica’s Birdie G’s has basics like all-purpose flour and kosher salt, as well as a range of gourmet sundries, such as smoked mushroom powder and beef tallow, to really take your #quarantinecooking to the next level.

SW E ATS H I RT: CO U RT E SY OT I U M ; PATC H : CO U RT E SY B I R D I E G ' S ; T- S H I RT: CO U RT E SY E . P. & L . P. ; M A D L I B S : CO U RT E SY S PA R E R O O M ; S O F T S H I RT: CO U RT E SY C ASS E L L ' S

Help Out

> Keep yourself entertained with special edition Mad Libs from the Spare Room bar in the Hollywood Roosevelt hotel. $10 at spareroomhollywood .com


Drink Up TOAST W I T H F R I E N DS

You don’t have to imbibe alone. Fire up a video app like FaceTime or Zoom for a virtual happy hour or wine tasting with friends. You can even bring movies, TV shows, or games into the mix with the Houseparty app or Netflix Party extension. Plus modern technology makes it easy to stock up without leaving home. Silverlake Wine (silverlakewine.com), also with locations in Highland Park and downtown, has a well-curated selection of natural wines, beer, and spirits. It offers curbside pickup and delivery through various platforms. The erudite folks at Bar Keeper (barkeepersilver lake.com, 323-669-1675) always have an extensive collection and provide great recommendations. For pickup and delivery, call in or find them on the Drizly app. Wally’s (wallywine.com, 310-4753540) in Beverly Hills and Santa Monica delivers across the city via Caviar, Uber Eats,

C A N S : CO U RT E SY C A N N ; CO F F E E : CO U RT E SY S I G H TG L ASS CO F F E E

SIGHTGLASS COFFEE

Door Dash, and its own couriers. If you go with the latter, call in your order and spend more than $100, and delivery is free. With California temporarily loosening its alcohol regulations, many local restaurants—like Melrose Umbrella Company (melrose umbrellacompany.com)—are offering booze with takeout and delivery orders. Employees Only bar (employeesonly la.com) even has kits for mixing fancy cocktails at home. Cheers! B U Y S O M E M AG I C B E A N S

There are few things as comforting as a good cup of coffee. And even if you can’t get to your favorite café, you can order its beans delivered to your doorstep. Stylish cult favorite Alfred (alfred.la) sells drip and espresso blends that are roasted downtown. The masterminds behind beloved chainlet Go Get Em Tiger (gget.com) offer subscriptions to seasonal single-origin coffees that are roasted in-house with the goal of bringing out the

CANN SOCIAL TONIC

beans’ natural sweetness. Santa Monica’s goodboybob (goodboybob.com) recently launched a roasting program and coffee subscriptions. Its beans are packaged beautifully, and offerings include some rare Cup of Excellencewinning treasures procured from auctions. The Vernonbased java subscription service YES PLZ (yesplz.coffee) has a delightful DIY/punk aesthetic and even includes the occasional zine with orders. Sightglass (sightglass coffee.com), the Bay Area darling that opened its first L.A. roastery in March, makes online buying a personalized experience. You have a bevy of bean selections—from single origins to blends and espresso—and can request specific grinds like Chemex and French press. We’ll all need strength to get through this time—and that includes strong coffee. CHILL OUT

Looking for a buzz that isn't booze? Pop open a can of CANN social tonic. The California-made, cannabis-

infused beverage packs a mellow high—each drink has just 2 mg of THC and 4 mg of CBD—that takes the edge off without pushing you over the edge. Plus, the flavors, like lemon lavender, are genuinely delicious and the cans themselves are lovely and highly Instagrammable for your #quarantineandchill and #stayhome posts. Delivery is available from Sweet Flower, MedMen, and Eaze. MAKE TIME FOR TEA

As much as we love drinks with a buzz, tea is probably the best option for staying calm and healthy. Step up your steeping by ordering from Chado (chadotea.com, free shipping with orders over $45), which has been keeping Angelenos in hot water for three decades with both traditional offerings and unique blends. The Finest Jasmine Pearl has a wonderful touch of natural sweetness, and we love to wind down at night with the rooibos-flavored caffeine-free Sweet Dreams or soothing Organic Turmeric Zest. L A M AG . C O M 37


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tais and pina coladas from the hosted bar—the culinary and cocktail offerings do not disappoint. Once the sun goes down, the show heats up and the history of Maui comes to life. Experience the magical enchantment of Honua’ula as ‘Aha’aina Wailea transports you back to a time when the mighty seafaring Polynesians discovered the Hawaiian Islands, thereafter calling themselves Hawaiian. Meet Pele, the goddess of fire, and Kananaka, the mermaid of Maui, as you step back into a journey filled with traditional chants and mesmerizing hula. The enlightening story of Honua’ula combined with spectacular performances by Hawaii’s best hula dancers, stilt walkers, aerial gymnasts and fire knife warriors creates an unforgettable evening for all.

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MAY 11 & 12


05.20

Shop @HOME

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Creature Comforts

C R O U TO N / T U F T A N D TA I L S

> From DIY beauty treatments and projects to entertain the kids to home office gadgets and the best stress relievers—we’ve got everything you need to adjust to the new normal

P H O T O G R A P H BY C O R I NA M A R I E H OW E L L

L A M AG . C O M 41


Shop

AT H O M E

Upkeep and Stress Relief

B E A U T Y H A C K S AT H O M E

Keeping Up Appearances LOOKING FOR AN UPSIDE TO ALL THIS ENFORCED ALONENESS? HERE ARE SOME POPULAR BEAUTY TREATMENTS THAT REQUIRE THE DOWNTIME YOU DIDN'T HAVE BEFORE

MANI PEDI KIT

Your cuticles are overgrown and your fingernails are in disarray. You probably don’t even want to look at your toes. Olive & June’s nine-piece Studio Box (oliveandjune.com) comes with everything you need to get your nails back in tip-top shape—polish remover, nail clipper, two-sided nail file, buffer cube, top coat, cuticle serum, and your choice of polish color. Not sure how to use these tools? Not to worry, Olive & June’s website has dozens of instructional videos to walk you through the process.

OLIVE & JUNE

Acid Peel > Obaji’s Clinical Blue Brilliance Triple Acid Peel (sephora.com) is actually a serious derm-grade chemical peel that combines three hard-working acids to exfoliate and retexturize the skin for more radiance and clarity. You will shed tissue like a snake, but no one’s around to see it anyway.

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Microneedling > Rolling tiny needles over your skin might seem counterintuitive, but fans of the process swear their skin is visibly firmer, softer, and more refined. The BeautyBio GloPRO (neimanmarcus.com) guarantees rejuvenation if you use it three times a week.

Plasma Pen > The trendy treatment that all the derms were doing meant staying home for at least a week to heal. The Premium Plamere (neoskin .com) is considered the best. You might look like your face got run over by an acupuncturist—but it can work wonders on crow’s feet, lip lines, and neck lines.

Coffee, red wine, and, of course, smoking will take their toll on your pearly whites. What better time to turn back the ravages of indulgence? SmileDirectClub’s Teeth Whitening Kit (shop.smiledirectclub .com) claims to yield pro results in just one week. Attach the LED light booster to the provided mouth guard for five minutes twice a day, and your grin supposedly will sparkle for six months. STAY I N G I N S H A P E

Channel your inner Rocky Balboa and give fitness boxing a go. FightCamp

FAC I A L M AS K M O D E L : G E T T Y I M AG E S ; M A N I P E D I K I T: CO U RT E SY O L I V E & J U N E

TEETH WHITENING


to ocean waves—to lull you to sleep. CANDLES

FIGHTCAMP

(joinfightcamp.com) offers everything you need—quick wraps, gloves, a workout mat and free-standing bag, and punch trackers—to successfully battle those extra COVID pounds. The rewards include better posture, improved balance, and, best of all, stress relief.

still get your favorite strains deposited right at your front door. Sweet Flower (sweetflower.com) is offering delivery service at no extra charge. Plus, it has a wide selection of products—Dosist “Calm” vape pens, Papa &

F I G H TC A M P : CO U RT E SY F I G H TC A M P ; H A I R DY E : G E T T Y I M AG E S ; C A N D L E : CO U RT E SY P. F. C A N D L E CO.

S PA R E E Y EG L ASS E S

There is a famous episode of The Twilight Zone in which the world ends—and one man survives. He is a near-legallyblind misanthrope whose only joy in life is to read. After the apocalypse he gleefully stomps through the ashes of the world to his local library— then he accidentally breaks his glasses. It’s a cautionary tale: Always have a spare pair of specs. Garrett Leight (garrettleight.com) remains open (by appointment only) because corrective lenses are considered a medical necessity. If you’re visually challenged, now might be the time to buy a backup pair. CANNABIS

Since weed falls under the medicinal umbrella, you can

EXPERT TIP

Adam Pardyjak Colorist at B2V Salon on his root-touch-up service

> “I call it Blue Glove Service for my clients, because medics wear blue gloves, and so do I when delivering premixed formulas. I also do consults: I can look at someone six feet away and know their color. Just in case, I also carry masks with me. And if they’re nervous, I take my temperature, and they take theirs.”

Barkley relief capsules, and Juna tinctures— to mellow you out. B AT H T I M E

For many, being home alone for days on end can lead to hygiene falling by the wayside. Cleanliness might be next to godliness, but when it comes to feeling anxious, there aren’t many troubles that can’t be eased by a long hot bath. If you’re struggling with sleepless nights, the Deep Sleep bath soak by This Works (this works .com) is infused with slumber-inducing essential oils like lavender, vetiver, and camomile. Before you head to bed, fill a bath with the mixture and feel your worries melt away. S L E E P A I D M AC H I N E

If your upstairs neighbor stomping around at all hours of the night is keeping you awake (or it’s just, you know, fear), bring in the big guns. Art Naturals (artnaturals .com) has created a line of chic-looking machines with six soothing nature sounds— from tropical rain forests

Stress can lead to some serious health issues and leave you vulnerable to catching, well, viruses of all kinds. We need to collectively relax. Candles can help. And the ones from P.F. Candle Co. (pfcandleco.com) glow with a soft amber light and smell so good you actually won’t want to leave home. If you’re feeling especially nostalgic for the city, the company’s Los Angeles candle is described as unleashing the scent of “overgrown bougainvillea, canyon hiking, epic sunsets, and city lights.” Translated that means redwood trees, fresh cut limes, jasmine, and yarrow. The candle also makes a lovely gift for anyone you know who’s feeling especially isolated right now.

P. F. C A N D L E C O .

GARDENING

The Journal of Health Psychology reports that gardening is more effective at reducing stress than reading a book. Luckily gardening centers are still considered—you guessed it—essential. Eagle Rock’s Plant Materials (plant-materials.com) is still offering curbside service. Not sure what to plant? A recent report in the Journal of Biological Chemistry states that jasmine is “as good as Valium.” L A M AG . C O M 43


AT H O M E

Boredom FUN FOR THE W H O L E FA M I LY

It had become a familiar sight—30-something hipsters hovering over a table covered by piles of oddly shaped pieces of photo-printed paperboard. Yes, before all of the coronavirus insanity, good, old-fashioned jigsaw puzzles had been trending at cocktail parties. But if you hadn’t already hopped on the bandwagon, now’s your chance. And the best part is children love puzzles, too, so you can turn this downtime into a teachable moment with an L.A.-themed 500-piece puzzler from Dowdle (amazon. com). Take the tots on a tour of our city’s most iconic landmarks like the Hollywood Bowl, Randy’s Donuts, and Griffith Park Observatory without leaving the house.

kits include plastic saws, screwdrivers, and screws— and with a little imagination the cardboard you were going to toss into the recycling bin can become rocket ships, forts, and even robot friends. “Girls and boys learn by doing” is the company’s philosophy, so consider this homeschooling made easy.

WE ARE KNITTERS

P R OJ EC TS TO DY E F O R

Give your armpit-stained tees, old dresses, or faded jeans new life with a Jacquard indigo dye kit (dick blick.com). You get wooden blocks, rubber bands, gloves, and enough denim-blue dye for 15 yards of fabric to help you explore the ancient Japanese art of shibori. The user’s manual offers basic instruction or check out YouTube for hundreds of how-to videos for guidance and inspiration. You’ll have a whole new

wardrobe by the time you head back to the office. R E L AX W I T H A G O O D YA R N

We Are Knitters (weare knitters.com) sells kits with everything you need to knit your own scarves, beanies, blankets, hats, and sweaters. Whether you’re an ace at working the needles or new to knitting, the company has a project to suit your skill level. Choose your item and preferred shade

KEEPING THE K I DS O CC U P I E D

So you’ve been ordering food, toiletries, and whatnot online for weeks. Before you chuck the boxes that your precious cargo arrived in, think of the young ones. Makedo (make.do) makes kid-friendly tools that can transform an Amazon Prime shipment into hours of fun for creative tykes. Makedo’s

SA F E T Y DA N C E

You binge-watched Tiger King in a single weekend. You took online guitar classes and freshened up your French. Now you really want to move your body. Instead of waiting for the next web-hosted DJ dance party, throw one in your living room. Just Dance (store.ubi.com) is a motionbased video game playable on home consoles (or download the app Just Dance Now to your phone or Apple TV). It teaches you choreography while letting you battle other Beyoncé wannabes. 9 1 1 . W H AT ’ S YO U R E M E R G E N CY ?

MAKEDO

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of cotton or merino wool yarn, then kick back, relax, and purl stitch away.

It’s a scary time for everyone, but especially for youngsters. The Playmobil Children’s Hospital (amazon.com) offers a way to address your little one’s fears over the novel coronavirus and teach them about healing while encouraging them to help others. The scalemodel two-story hospital includes three adult figures, one child, rolling beds, a reclining exam table, a respirator, defibrillator, bandages, stethoscopes, and tons of other accessories.

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L.A. IN THE AGE OF THE CORONAVIRUS

THANK YOU TO ALL THE HEROES AND HELPERS WHO HAVE COURAGEOUSLY SERVED OUR CITY DURING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC

THANK YOU BUS DRIVERS & MASS TRANSIT WORKERS THANK YOU PET SUPPLY RETAILERS THANK YOU STREAMING SERVICES THANK YOU UTILITIES WORKERS THANK YOU POSTAL & SHIPPING CLERKS THANK YOU CHILDCARE HELPERS THANK YOU DISTANCE EDUCATORS THANK YOU BANK TELLERS THANK YOU PAYROLL ACCOUNTANTS THANK YOU GAS STATION & SERVICE ATTENDANTS THANK YOU SENIOR CARE SPECIALISTS THANK YOU NEWS REPORTERS & MEDIA THANK YOU ANGELENOS RESPECTING SOCIAL DISTANCING AND…THANK YOU TO ALL OF THE INDIVIDUAL VOLUNTEERS ACROSS THE CITY WHO OFFERED AN ACT OF KINDNESS TO SOMEONE IN NEED


AT H O M E

Working From Home A DJ U STA B L E D E S K

Studies show that productivity while working from home soars because many employees are willing to put in longer hours than usual. But sitting in the same position for extended periods can wreak havoc on your back and shoulders. Aptly named Executive Office Solutions (amazon.com) makes a desk that morphs like a Transformer to suit any position you need to work efficiently—and comfortably. It can be raised into a standing worktable or collapsed to fit the height of your couch or beloved and well-worn armchair. It even shrinks down for use in bed. Bonus: It can double as a TV tray or cookbook stand.

EXECUTIVE OFFICE SOLUTIONS

access the four modes—print, scan, copy, and fax (whatever that means). It also offers 4,800 x 1,200 dots per inch for high-resolution copies and prints up to 20 pages a minute. And you can scan documents right into your email inbox. AT TAC H A B L E E X T RA M O N I TO R S

Do you find yourself spending too much time toggling between programs because your laptop screen is too small? If you don’t want to invest in a new computer or monitor, Packed Pixels Go (indiegogo.com) is an inexpensive solution. The lightweight screens come in two sizes and seamlessly mount to either or both sides of your laptop. They have retina display as well as HDMI and USB-C connectivity. And they’re portable—take them on your next business trip or to your local coffee shop (as soon as social distancing is over) where you’ll be the envy of every day trader and aspiring screenwriter.

BIRDIES

feature a soft wool lining over foot-contouring foam. But more important, both brands are crafted with durable rubber soles for those brief walks to grab the mail or pick up packages. They are so stylish, you will want to wear them out and about when this lockdown is over— and you can. NOISE-CANCELING HEADPHONES

If you live alone you might have to contend with a barking dog, noisy neighbors, or the occasional blast from a

gardener’s Weedwacker. In a household with homebound children and chatty adults, the noise can be relentless. Tune it out with Beats Studio3 Wireless headphones (beatsbydrdre.com). They’re equipped with active noisecanceling capabilities that continuously target and isolate exterior sounds, and they have a state-of-the-art microphone, both of which come in handy during pressing conference calls—or when you just want to zone out to your favorite Billie Eilish track. DESK LAMP

SLIPPERS

A L L- I N - O N E P R I N T E R

It’s high time you got rid of that old Hewlett-Packard you bought at Circuit City a decade ago. For an affordable option the Epson WorkForce Pro WF-4720 (best buy.com) is wireless so you can discreetly tuck it away anywhere in your home. The 2.7-inch LCD allows you to 46 L A M AG . C O M

You’re in your pj’s in quarantine, and your entire home office consists of a sofa, WiFi connection, and laptop. For Zoom meetings, you grab any office-appropriate top from your closet and keep your sweatpants on and no one is the wiser. But slippers are the real unsung heroes of the WFH game. Birdies (birdies .com) produces a variety in sumptuous velvet for women. Insoles made of quilted satin and high-density memory foam provide shock absorption. For dudes, Mahabis (mahabis.com) makes the most popular slippers. They

B E AT S S T U D I O 3 W I R E L E S S

Working in a dimly lit space can wear on you physically (especially when it comes to eye strain) and mentally. The Dyson Lightcycle (dyson.com) mimics the properties of natural sunlight, automatically adjusting to maintain a consistent brightness. It has a 360-degree flexible base so you can aim the light precisely where you want it, and you can set controls through an app based on your age, the current task at hand, and your sleep cycle.

CONTRIBUTORS: Hailey Eber, Sean Fitz-Gerald, Merle Ginsberg,

Linda Immediato, Zoie Matthew, Hardeep Phull, Heather Platt, Jean Trinh

A DJ U STA B L E D E S K : CO U RT E SY E X E C U T I V E O F F I C E S O LU T I O N S ; N O I S E - C A N C E L I N G H E A D P H O N E S : CO U RT E SY B E ATS BY D R E ; S L I P P E R S : CO U RT E SY B I R D I E S

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Los Angeles magazine’s Burgers Bourbon + Beer Wednesday, July 8 7:00 p.m. - 9:30 p.m. THE BLOC, Downtown Los Angeles Los Angeles THNHaPUL Ă„YLZ \W [OL NYPSS H[ [OL Ă„M[O HUU\HS )\YNLYZ )V\YIVU )LLY H gourmet burger battle where you will get to taste, judge, and vote to crown People’s *OVPJL )LZ[ )\YNLY MVY ,UQV` ZPWZ from Maker’s Mark, Mountain Valley Spring >H[LY +VU -YHUJPZJVÂťZ *VɈLL IV\[PX\L bourbons, craft brews, and more. For tickets and more information visit lamag.com/bbb


L.A. Stories

E L I YA H U K A M I S H E R

G U NS N’ P OS E S

Taran Butler (center), under fire in a #MeToo scandal, almost exclusively hires female gun instructors and posts photos of them with their weapons on Instagram

Apocalypse Now I T ’ S T H E M I D D L E of March, when most of L.A. is shut down over the coronavirus pandemic, but Taran Butler’s gun range is booming. Tucked at the bottom of a dusty hill in Simi Valley, about an hour northwest of Hollywood, celebrities and Instagram models are firing assault-style rifles and shotguns at targets, preparing for the apocalypse. Among them are Swedish American actor Joel Kinnaman and his Victoria’s Secret model girlfriend Kelly Gale, who purchased a pistol to defend themselves in the event that the city descends into lawlessness. An Instagrammer in yoga pants and a pink mask poses for a photo that garners over 19,000 likes. It’s a scene that could exist only at Simi Valley’s Taran Tactical Innovations, a star-packed haven of conservative America, where liberal Hollywood goes to get locked and loaded. The gun company is the personal fiefdom of Butler, a portly 23time Southwest Pistol League champ who has earned a national reputation as Hollywood’s go-to weapons trainer. Butler is the guy 4 8 L A M AG . C O M

that the studios hire when they want to bring their zombie killers and assassins up to snuff. His YouTube channel is crammed with videos that have amassed tens of millions of views of the stars he has coached—among them Halle Berry, Michael B. Jordan, and Shemar Moore—frolicking with AR-15-style rifles. “A lot of liberal people that before were like, ‘Nah, I don’t need a gun’ are over here buying guns hand over fist,” says Butler, who has turned a parking lot next to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library into a home for celebrity gun culture. One prominent Second Amendment activist even praised it as a “safe space” for actors to buck Hollywood’s perceived antigun bias. “Mom and dad bought this in ’77. It used to be a place to park trucks,” Butler says. “I turned it into this crazy shooting man cave.” A few months ago a sexual harassment claim threatened to upend Butler’s kingpin status in the conservative gun world that he dominates with his 525,000 Instagram followers. But the controversy appears to have faded since the pandemic. Along with panic

CO U RT E SY TA R A N B U T L E R

TARAN BUTLER TRAINS STARS LIKE KEANU REEVES AND SELLS GUNS TO THE TRUMPS. NOW HOLLYWOOD A-LISTERS FEARING A REAL-LIFE MAD MAX ARE FLOCKING TO HIS RANCH


GRILLING UP JULY 8

BURGERS BOURBON + BEER

Join Los Angeles magazine as we fire up the grill at our fifth annual gourmet burger battle. Enjoy an evening of

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S H O O T I NG STA R S

Taran Butler has trained actors from Halle Berry to Keanu Reeves. He markets high-performance weapons named after Reeves’s John Wick character

known as the SHOT Show, held this year in Las Vegas, a leaked video spread like wildfire in the conservative gun community. In the video, Butler, standing behind the camera, does a weaselly voiced impression of the Lord of the Rings character Gollum when he asks his most prominent shooter, Jade Struck, to show her “precious,” referring to her vagina, among other sexual comments. Struck, known for her wide smile, jet-black hair, and sharpshooting

skills, nervously laughed off Butler’s propositions, but she apparently was not amused. “I was very young and naive and led to believe that this sort of thing was normal, expected and required to succeed in this industry,” she said in an online statement posted after the video surfaced. She said the video was taken several years ago, when she had recently turned 18. Playing along with Butler’s sexual antics, Stuck said, was “simply a condition of my employment.”

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purchases of toilet paper and hand sanitizers, firearm sales jumped all across the nation, with lines circling outside gun shops. Butler, meanwhile, was cashing in on his niche market—Hollywood elite and Instagram influencers. “I sell them guns with a laser flashlight on it, so that way it’s intimidating,” he says. Butler’s ranch looks like a cross between the Playboy Mansion and the set of Gunsmoke. Almost all the shooting instructors here are female; Butler calls them Taran’s Angels. He brags about his ability to turn photogenic women into “rock stars” of the shooting world—which he accomplishes by sharing Instagram photos of babes with bazookas with tens of thousands of salivating Instagram fanboys. Take, for example, Toni McBride, a cheerful LAPD officer whom Butler gifted with a custom multithousand-dollar pistol, or Chrysti Ane, a six-pack-baring, yoga-pants-wearing gun lover hailed online as the Gun Goddess. “That’s what I’m known for,” Butler boasts. “Beautiful girls who shoot as good as they look.” But the adolescent boy fantasy collided with the #MeToo movement in January. At the annual firearms trade convention


Struck declined to comment for this story. Butler initially posted an apology, calling his actions “indefensible” and a “painful lesson.” Days later he removed the statement and launched a vitriolic campaign against Struck, accusing her of “playing victim” while she moved into his home and was supposedly gifted a car. Butler defenders soon piled on. “You had 1,000 followers when I met you and because of [Taran Tactical Innovations] you now have 150k,” Jennifer Irene, one of Butler’s instructors, posted on Instagram. “You never finished high school.” Since the scandal erupted, two of Butler’s major sponsors, Italian shotgun maker Benelli and Michigan-based firearms accessory manufacturer Trijicon, quietly ended their lucrative relationships with him. But the controversy has done little to diminish his conservative fan base. Most of Butler’s female shooters have rallied around him and condemned his young accuser. Other than some mostly anonymous memes that blast him as #TaranWeinstein, most stars of the shooting community have held their fire. Butler is one of the few crossover successes who straddles liberal Hollywood and the world of tactical culture, a lifestyle that blends macho Navy SEAL aesthetics and gun babes with conservative politics. Besides being a shooting champion, his claim to fame is teaching Keanu Reeves how to shoot like a professional for the John Wick action thrillers, which feature the actor performing fantastical ballets of killing while barely uttering a sentence. In 2016 Butler posted a 37-second clip of Reeves blasting

makers “wish they had their gun in John Wick,” says Karl Weschta of Independent Studio Services, a major prop house. Surrounded by John Wick weapons— outfitted with high-capacity magazines illegal in California—Butler was warmly greeted at the 2019 NRA convention in Indianapolis by one of his latest customers, Donald Trump Jr., who emerged from the crowd to embrace him. “Don got a John Wick Combat Master as did his brother Eric, custom built with their names on it,” Butler told the crowd. “It’s an honor.”

Some of the celebrities Butler has trained, like Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, use their prominence to loudly advocate for gun control. But Butler is confident that as long as Hollywood is obsessed with guns, its stars will seek him out for training, regardless of their political inclinations. “I’m not worried because [guns] have been in movies since the beginning of movies,” Butler said at his ranch. The gunfire quieted as dusk fell over his range. “In the end Hollywood wants to make money, and the audience wants to see action.”

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At the 2019 NRA convention, Donald Trump Jr. emerged from the crowd to embrace Taran Butler. away like a video-game character; the video quickly went viral and sent Butler’s profile skyrocketing in the gun community. Butler “changed my life,” John Wick codirector Chad Stahelski—a frequent guest at the Simi range—said in a Facebook post. “I am forever grateful.” The film franchise not only made Butler the de facto trainer to the stars, it also gave him free product placement—his line of customized guns, branded “John Wick” without studio permission, are featured prominently in the movies. All the weapon

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DINE LIKE THE ROMANS AT

THE FORUM SHOPS AT CAESARS PALACE ®

TRUE FOOD KITCHEN

THE SLANTED DOOR

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58 L A M AG . C O M

The Forum Shops at Caesars Palace is looking forward to welcoming you back. And when you’re here, you’ll discover a diverse collection of dining options including the newest eateries to debut, The Slanted Door and True Food Kitchen.

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HEROES OF THE PLAGUE

TA K I NG I T T O T H E S T R E E T S

The Eastside Bikers established a drive-up food bank in Compton. From left: Michelle Catalan, Lily Lomeli, John Jones III, John Jones Jr., Tatiana Rogers, and Jose Ibanez

62

| LOS ANGELES 6 2 L A M AG . C O M

|

JUNE 2015

CREDIT BOX

BY JASON MCGAHAN WITH JON REGARDIE AND MERLE GINSBERG


AS THE CORONAVIRUS BEGAN ITS ASSAULT ON L.A., A RAGTAG ARMY MOBILIZED TO FIGHT IT. AN INTIMATE ACCOUNT OF THE PANDEMIC’S FIRST DAYS, AS TOLD BY THE POLITICIANS, DOCTORS, COPS, AND SUPERMARKET CLERKS ON THE FRONT LINES

CREDIT BOX

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SHAYAN ASGHARNIA

LAMAG.COM L A M AG . C O M 63


L

M A RC I A SA N T I N I

Registered ER Nurse, UCLA Westwood

LAST MARCH, AS THE NOVEL CORONAVIRUS

outbreak widened into a global pandemic, city and state leaders in California shuttered schools, businesses, trails, and beaches, and ordered millions of Angelenos to shelter at home. Mayor Eric Garcetti was so concerned about the pandemic performing a decapitation strike on the city’s administration that he barred everyone save his closest aides from being in the same room with him. But a small group of Angelenos, out of duty or necessity, continued to report to work. In the weeks following the first Los Angeles death from COVID-19, Los Angeles interviewed dozens of Angelenos who manned the front lines. Here are their recollections about those first critical weeks of the crisis in their own words. BARBARA FERRER Director, Los Angeles County Department of Public Health We started tracking cases of this way back when the epidemic was concentrated in Wuhan. As soon as we had confirmation that it was a new virus, and we saw how quickly deaths had multiplied in Wuhan, we became alarmed. We knew that it was only a matter of time before it escaped China. We knew what was coming, and it scared the hell out of us. MARCIA SANTINI Registered ER Nurse, UCLA Westwood The week that the epidemic hit the hospital I had just turned 58. I forgot I had a birthday coming up. My husband and I were planning to go to Italy and Croatia this summer to celebrate my son’s college graduation. But life can change on a dime.

WE KNEW WHAT WAS COMING, AND IT SCARED THE HELL OUT OF US. BARBARA FERRER,

KATHRYN BARGER Chair, L.A. County Board of Supervisors The week before the Lunar New Year, Supervisor Hilda Solis and I started to ask for weekly updates from the county health department regarding the 64 L A M AG . C O M

PUBLIC HEALTH DEPARTMENT

coronavirus. Hilda and I represent the largest Asian communities in L.A. County, and as news reports about the virus began to spread, people started to attack Asian Americans. We became concerned about Asians being scapegoated. And we knew that many people in L.A. County with family in China may have come in contact with travelers returning from Wuhan, which worried us even more. ERIC GARCETTI Mayor, Los Angeles At the end of January as the epidemic was spiraling in Asia, we started worrying about the impact it could have on L.A. By that point the virus was killing thousands in China and other countries. We didn’t know at the time if it would ever make it to America, but we knew that we had to start


O N T H E CA S E

From left: LAPD detectives Randall Kutscher, Eldin Stupar, Ryan Lee, Theodore Carreras, and Brian Thayer

planning in case it did. We had to figure out how to manage an emergency that was very different from the earthquakes and fires that we’re more accustomed to here. DR. OTTO YANG Infectious Disease Specialist, UCLA Health As we received more data about this pandemic, my colleagues and I became more alarmed. But it took some time to convince everyone else. Most of my Facebook friends are very progressive, educated people. But friends of friends are a different story. When I posted my fears about the coming pandemic, I was accused of being a liberal conspiracy monger. A doctor I knew commented how rapidly the virus was starting to spread outside of Asia. Then one of his friends responded, “How many deaths are there in the U.S. so far? Zero. Cry me a river.” I responded to his post saying if you think that we’re immune here, then you are clueless. He came back at me with a bunch of f-words and accused me of spreading fear as part of the liberal agenda. This was near the end of February literally two or three days before the first person in the U.S. had died from this pandemic. I wonder what he’s thinking now.

MEDICAL SHIP: GETTY IMAGES

MICHAEL RITCHIE Artistic Director, Center Theatre Group When the first reports of the virus came in, we had three sold-out shows up and running at the Ahmanson Theatre, the Mark Taper Forum, and the Kirk Douglas Theatre. We were on top of the world. But the next thing you know all of our shows were shut down, and hundreds of actors and production people were suddenly unemployed. PAMELA MCPHERSON General Manage, Trader Joe’s, Third Street and Fairfax Avenue At the end of February, as the news began to talk about this coming pandemic, we started to see more customers and shopping carts in the store. By early March everything turned crazy. We were not prepared for how many people suddenly poured in at the same time. It was a riot. Everything had to be continually reordered to keep the shelves filled. At first there was a run on the nonperishables, things like paper goods and bottled water. Then it was soup, pasta, beef, vegetables, eggs, bottled water. There were a few fights in the aisles, but we tried our best to keep the peace.

WHEN I POSTED MY FEARS ABOUT THE COMING PANDEMIC, I WAS ACCUSED OF BEING A LIBERAL CONSPIRACY MONGER. DR. OTTO YANG, UCLA HEALTH

R E I N F O RC M E N T S

From left: Governor Gavin Newsom and Mayor Eric Garcetti in front of the hospital ship USNS Mercy after it arrived in the Port of Los Angeles

FREDDY ESCOBAR Captain II, Los Angeles City Fire Department; President, United Firefighters of Los Angeles City, IAFF Local 112 In early March someone called 911 after a traveler at Union Station complained of shortness of breath. A bunch of our guys were dispatched on a medical run. They took the guy’s vitals and asked all the pertinent questions, but the patient refused to go to the hospital. Nine days later we were notified that he had tested positive for COVID-19. Our guys were put on a 14-day quarantine. Right away it dawned on me that for nine days after those members were exposed to a highly contagious virus they were going out on calls without the proper [protections], helping other people, including sick people, and then going home to their families after work. It made me furious. CLARE BUCKINGHAM Assistant Medical Director, LAC/USC Emergency Department When people are sick with this, specifically the viral pneumonia that it causes in your lungs, it’s pretty impressive. It’s nothing like the flu. Your average influenza makes people feel like they got hit by a bus. But this illness is more insidious. People don’t feel as sick at first, and all the while they can be thinking they’re just having a cold or sore throat and then become quite ill later. The other mysterious thing about it is that for like 90 percent of the population those mild cold symptoms are all they’ll feel. It’s a disease pattern that we’re less familiar with, and that makes people feel more uneasy. We L A M AG . C O M 65


ERIC GARCETTI Mayor, Los Angeles Psychologically we were beginning to wonder if we weren’t somehow minimizing how serious this was. We were headed to the meeting of the California Big City Mayors group on March 9 in Sacramento, and the planes in and out of LAX were already pretty empty. You know that big bear that’s in front of the governor’s office, which is already known as “Bacteria Bear”? People were like, “Don’t touch.” By that point it was clear that we weren’t the only ones to be concerned. By the time we got back to L.A. the writing was on the wall. I talked to my team and told them that we had to start banning mass events to lock down the spaces where the virus could spread.

L OW T I D E

L.A. County beaches, including those in Malibu (above), were closed at the end of March after crowds flocked to the sand

AUSTIN BEUTNER Superintendent, Los Angeles Unified School District When it became clear that coronavirus could disrupt the education system, I reached out to Paula Kerger, who is the CEO of PBS in Washington, and Andy Russell, who is the CEO of PBS SoCal. I told them we need your help. It had become clear by then that we would have to imminently close our schools. So we’d have to be able to provide standards-based learning to students while they are at home. We gathered a bunch of PBS people in a room—this was back when people could be in the same room together—and we asked them where can we find the best geometry class. So we got together, created a team effort with our instructional folks, and launched three channels. Not one—three. DR. LISA DABBY Emergency Medicine Physician, UCLA Santa Monica I had been seeing people in the community fall ill for two to three weeks at this point, but none of them looked very sick. So I thought OK, maybe this is a little worse than the flu, but ultimately it’s no big deal. But then everything changed. It was a Monday morning, March 16, the first shift in my day. I saw multiple sick people all coming in at once with the classic constellation of symptoms, the classic presentation on x-ray. And I went home and cried that night because I realized that everything that I had been reading about in China and Italy had arrived here, and people were still not taking it seriously. They didn’t understand the gravity of the situation. They heard about it on the news, but they didn’t realize how many people would actually be dying. DR. OMAI GARNER Associate Director of Clinical Microbiology, UCLA Health UCLA first started testing for the novel corona6 6 L A M AG . C O M

AUS T I N B E U T N E R

LAUSD Superintendent

virus on March 10. But soon after the outbreak hit so quickly that the lab couldn’t keep up with all the specimens that were coming in. In the beginning FDA regulations slowed down the testing process. The only test we were allowed to use was the [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] test, which takes up to six hours to perform. We’ve since moved on to a simpler test that just got FDA approval. But manufacturers aren’t producing enough of them, so labs across America are competing for limited resources. It’s just not efficient. Testing is key. When this pandemic started South Korea gathered together all the diagnostic manufacturers in their country and or-

B E AC H : S H U T T E R STO C K

wash our hands nonstop all the time, and I still am scared to death.


S TA R F O R E M A N,

Grocery Delivery Driver

PAMELA MCPHERSON General Manage, Trader Joe’s, Third Street and Fairfax Avenue Pretty soon the market was constantly packed with people. Dozens of customers started lining up outside so we had to implement social distancing. We sent out employees to keep them six feet apart. At first we’d see a long line of people waiting outside and we’d get nervous— but eventually we got used to it. The lines grew very long, but luckily we never saw any hostility. In fact much to our surprise, people came up and thanked us for being of service. It was a surprise to me. Grocery store workers have always been taken for granted. Finally we are considered first responders, and people know what an important job we are doing. But it’s still hard to get paid $15 an hour. BARBARA FERRER Director, Los Angeles County Department of Public Health As it became clearer what a huge health problem we were dealing with, none of the main decision makers in L.A. County argued with me about the need to shut businesses and schools in their neighborhoods. There is lots of politics involved in this job, but I feel blessed to work with officials who are very focused on the public health. They understood all of the investigations and the research we had been seeing, and they used that information to guide decisions and to be thoughtful, articulate, and decisive leaders. They knew that this new virus from China was an existential American threat.

dered them to start working on a test right away. They made sure all these companies had plenty of materials available and worked with them to get their tests approved quickly. That’s the opposite of what we did here. We kept falling further behind, and the federal government just kept putting up roadblocks. WILLY O’SULLIVAN Owner, O’Brien’s Irish Pub, Santa Monica All the talk about this really started to really pick up in mid-March, which was not a great time for me. My bar was getting really crowded that week. People started getting nervous, and the news was out that the coronavirus was coming and shutdowns may be happening. I think places like mine are community hubs, and a lot of people wanted to come out and talk about what was happening. The strangest thing is that a lot of our older customers were the ones that wanted most to come out—the ones who do not have families and are living alone. And, of course, they were the ones most at risk.

I’M PREPARED TO DO WHATEVER WE NEED TO PROTECT THIS CITY. LOS ANGELES MAYOR ERIC GARCETTI

ERIC GARCETTI Mayor, Los Angeles On Saturday March 14, the Centers for Disease Control compiled all the studies in the world that had been done on this outbreak, including the Imperial College study. That study predicted that up to 2.2 million could die in the U.S. if no actions were taken to control the spread of the virus. Needless to say I did not sleep more than a couple of hours that night. I studied the history of the influenza pandemic of 1918. I looked at the cities that had and hadn’t done social distancing. I looked at how the stock market overestimates the economic devastation, so don’t be scared. I realized that the order [to close bars, theaters, gyms, etc., and restrict restaurants to takeout or delivery service] was something we just had to do, and we had to do it across the city. I reached out to [Supervisor] Kathryn Barger and Robert Garcia, the mayor of Long Beach, and let them know we were going to do this and to make sure we could have a Los Angeles unified front. I spoke to the 87 other mayors in the county who I’ve been convening every quarter for seven years. I told other big-city L A M AG . C O M 67


D R . L I SA DA B BY

Emergency Medicine Physician, UCLA Santa Monica

mayors I was doing this, and I encouraged them to do the same. A lot of them didn’t have the emergency powers I did. GREG DUBUQUE President, Liberty Linehaul West Inc., Montebello When the shelter-in-place order came down for California we had three trucks en route to deliver office furniture to work sites in a big bank building in downtown San Francisco. And all of a sudden it was stop, turn them around, bring them back, because [the client] can’t receive this. That’s when it started to really hit home. AUSTIN BEUTNER Superintendent, Los Angeles Unified School District Each day we had phone calls at 5 a.m. and 5 p.m. with health experts from the county and asked them how many cases of the virus were there in the L.A. area and was it appropriate for Los Angeles Unified schools to stay on a normal schedule? Up until the night of March 13 the answer to the last question remained yes. Then the appropriate path was to close all Los Angeles Unified public schools. We wanted to offer care for children, but the state and county couldn’t tell us how to do it safely so we concentrated on providing food to those in need. We are taught that those in the health fields are first responders. But the men and women of Los Angeles Unified have been answering the call to serve the best we can. We served more people in that first week than any other food bank in the county. MICHAEL RITCHIE Artistic Director, Center Theatre Group Up till now we’d been having a great year as far as all our theaters were concerned. And then this news shut everything down. What does this mean to the staff, to the artists, to our partners? How do we get to the patrons who have tickets for shows that are two months from now? RICK CARUSO Real Estate Developer and President, USC Board of Trustees The shelter-in-place order caused a rolling cascade of retail closures for us. In the beginning we were hoping we could keep more businesses open. It soon became apparent retailers would have to close down. Everyone at Caruso Management is staying on payroll for the duration. I think it’s the right thing to do—and I think the return on that investment will come back ten times. I’ve left the properties themselves open so communities can use them for walks and to sit outside. The music’s still on, so are the lights. The other day at Palisades Village I saw an older couple eating on a park bench sitting six feet apart. The nature of first responders has changed: 68 L A M AG . C O M

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO THE STAFF, TO THE ARTISTS, OUR PATRONS? MICHAEL RITCHIE, CENTER THEATRE GROUP

They’re pharmacists, janitors; they work in homeless outreach. The executive chef of our Rosewood Miramar Beach resort is riding around in the back of a food truck preparing free breakfast burritos for first responders. As for my role at USC, we’ve had time to prepare at the Keck Medical Center, and if we need to turn dorm rooms into hospital rooms we’re ready. There’s no road map for this. The guiding light we’ve been trying to follow with everything is: What is the best thing for our community? WILLY O’SULLIVAN Owner, O’Brien’s Irish Pub, Santa Monica Before Saint Patrick’s Day we pretty much emptied our bank accounts, filled ourselves full of stock, food, and everything preparing for the big day. It’s the most important day of the year for us—a quarter of our revenue. But this year turned out to be the


most fell down the stairs two days ago because a guy would not stop approaching me. I worry that someone is just going to physically attack me because they see that I’ve got toilet paper on the bottom of my cart.

worst-case scenario. I have never been so busy losing money than in the last week trying to mitigate those losses by calling up every beer company and liquor company and trying to send this stuff back and get credit for it. Right now I am trying to save myself so that I am alive when this economy opens up in the future. But frankly it’s too soon to tell. B-REAL Lead Singer, Cypress Hill and Owner, CBD Dispensary Dr. Greenthumb’s When the shelter-in-place order was first issued suddenly there was a surge in cannabis dispensaries similar to what was going on with grocery stores. People were really frightened that legal dispensaries would be shut down. They started to stockpile as much cannabis as they could get. Luckily dispensaries were named as essential businesses—cannabis is one of the best things for this kind of anxiety. Our business went up about 20 percent.

EMPTY STREETS

Typically gridlocked freeways through downtown were barren as most Angelenos heeded the order to stay home

MARCIA SANTINI Registered ER Nurse, UCLA Westwood I kiddingly told the other ER nurses on our group chat two weeks ago that we should start brainstorming and get creative and figure out how we’re going to design equipment and protect ourselves. We were joking. But nobody was laughing when the CDC guidelines told us that if we ran out of supplies we needed to get creative, use bandannas. I’m thinking of bringing out a full-face

ERIC GARCETTI Mayor, Los Angeles I remember on the Monday after we had issued the Safer at Home emergency order, people called me and they were like, “Well, the gym is open in Beverly Hills and West Hollywood, and they’re all working out.” So I called and texted my friends who are council members in West Hollywood and Beverly Hills and I’m like, you guys have to shut down, too. DR. LISA DABBY Emergency Medicine Physician, UCLA Santa Monica What’s been really humbling for me is that when people are coming in critically sick and have fluid in their lungs, there is not much we can do at that point aside from offering them oxygen support and ventilatory support. We don’t have any treatments to make the illness course less severe and to decrease the rate of death. As a physician it’s really hard to watch that and not be able to do more. It makes you feel very helpless. STAR FOREMAN Grocery Delivery Driver As the quarantine took effect, I thought people would realize that they had to be less picky, but that wasn’t always the case. I had people who were texting me as I went from supermarket to supermarket asking what kind of hamburger buns do they have? And I’m like they have this one hamburger bun, I picked it up for you! This is it. This is all they had on the shelf. I am taking a lot longer on my shops than I used to because I am waiting for corridors to be empty before I enter them, I’m going down the back corridors to avoid people. If they start to approach me, I walk backward. I al-

DAV I D SA M P E R I O

Longshoreman

L A M AG . C O M 69


K AT H RY N B A RG E R

Chair, Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors

F R E D DY E S C O B A R

LAFD Captain II

scuba mask. The institution can only run tests on 60 people a day at this time so they have to be judicious in whom they test. Frankly, because our country was so late in testing, it really doesn’t matter anymore. You just have to assume everybody has it now. FREDDY ESCOBAR Captain II, Los Angeles City Fire Department; Union President I was in the first high-level meeting of the Fire Department after the stay-at-home order went out. The fire chief and his entire command staff said they were going to activate the Emergency Operations Center and the Department Operations Center. They said we needed to be prepared when this hits the city of Los Angeles, where they were predicting 20,000 people would be sick with coronavirus by April 1. I said to the fire chief, “What’s the worst-case scenario look like to you?” He said, “The worst-case scenario is half of our members are exposed and can’t get to work. 70 L A M AG . C O M

WHAT’S KEEPING US UP AT NIGHT IS THE SPEED WITH WHICH THIS VIRUS CONTINUES TO SPREAD. CHRISTINE GHALY, DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC HEALTH

CHRISTINE GHALY Director, Los Angeles County Department of Public Health Services We oversee four hospitals and around 25 clinics, plus correctional health services for juveniles and adults in the jails and the halls and the camps, the Office of Diversion & Reentry, the EMS Agency, and Housing for Health. We are spending the vast majority of our time making sure we have the medicines, the equipment—whether it’s ventilators or personal protective equipment—that are needed to protect our workforce and the patients. My husband, Mark, is the state’s secretary of health and human services. I can’t say I’ve seen him much recently. What’s keeping both of us up at night is the speed with which this virus continues to spread.

SERVICES

DR. MARK MOROCCO Clinical Professor of Emergency Medicine, UCLA I was running down Pico Boulevard yesterday, and what struck me was how empty the streets were. The shops were all closed and dark with signs in the


G R E G DU BUQ U E

President, Liberty Linehaul West Inc., Montebello

T R A D E R J O E ’S,

Workers at Third Street and Fairfax Avenue store

windows like photographs I had seen of French villages in World War II. As I was coming back around my loop over by the Rancho Park Golf Course I saw a kid with one of these little scooters and his mom. They were standing two or three feet away from each other and maybe ten feet away from them, on the sidewalk, was a young guy who they clearly knew. And I heard the woman say, “Well it’s good to see you.” And I heard the guy say, “Well I really wish I could give you a hug, but maybe the next time I see you because I’ve missed you. They looked concerned but they looked optimistic; they were doing the right thing. DR. OMAI GARNER Associate Director of Clinical Microbiology, UCLA Health Before the pandemic the testing lab at UCLA didn’t get many phone calls from frontline providers in the health system. Today I have to have a person whose only job is to answer the phone and talk to clinicians and nurses about when the test results for patients

will be ready. So I met with my entire virology group, all the supervisors and specialists, and we just put together on the fly a plan to basically quadruple the number of tests that we were going to be able to offer in a single day. It was one of those moments where the tidal wave is at your door and you all just take on the challenge and move forward.

C O N TA I N M E N T

A medical worker tests for COVID-19 at the Crenshaw Christian Center in South L.A.

JOSH RUBENSTEIN Public Information Director, LAPD I’m quite certain this social experiment of ours will be studied for some time because this is unlike anything we have ever seen. We have asked 10 million people to stay at home. People were up in arms, but Los Angeles is not locked down. The vast majority of Angelenos are following those orders, I am very happy to say. KATHRYN BARGER Chair, L.A. County Board of Supervisors There were a few pockets of resistance. I got a little frustrated when I read (CONTINUED ON PAGE 98) L A M AG . C O M 71


ART OF THE REAL Santa Monica Pier reveals itself as a Cubist masterpiece when viewed from above

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Postcards from the Edge

L.A.’S MOST BELOVED LANDMARKS ARE ON DISPLAY IN A DAZZLING NEW PHOTOGRAPHY BOOK—CROWDSOURCED BY YOU


L

BRIDGE OF SIGHS The Sixth Street Viaduct at magic hour

O K B LO O M E R S Wildflowers at Lake Elsinore bloom en masse when dormant seeds germinate following spring rains

74 L A M AG . C O M

“There is so much to explore from a photographic standpoint,” says Dan Kurtzman. “Whether it’s the miles of gorgeous beaches or the fascinating architecture. You could spend weeks traveling all over the place and never run out of colorful and interesting scenes to capture.”

ALL PHOTOGRAPHS: ©LOS ANGELES ON INSTAGRAM, EDITED BY DAN KURTZMAN, RIZZOLI NEW YORK 2020; PAGES 70 AND 71: @PHILGIOIA; THIS PAGE: LAKE ELSINORE: @LUKETYREEPHOTOGRAPH; SIXTH STREET VIADUCT: @KILLAKRISTENNN

OS A N G E L E S I S one of the most Instagrammed cities in the world. Every year millions of tourists from across the globe flock here to snap selfies in front of the city’s most iconic backdrops—from the LACMA lights to the Venice boardwalk to the pink Paul Smith store on Melrose. Los Angeles on Instagram, the latest release in a coffee-table trilogy from author Dan Kurtzman, showcases 200 full-color images taken by amateurs and influencers and a few photo stars. The book, which is coming out this June from Rizzoli, is a timely reminder of the natural splendor and urban energy that await us once this quarantine is done. Since a picture is worth the proverbial thousand words, we’ll let these inspiring photos tell the story. > BY L I N DA I M M E D I ATO


@PHILGIOIA

SWA N L A K E The downtown skyline beckons beyond Echo Park Lake

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C A R S A N D ST R I P E S This mazelike crosswalk in Santa Monica is worthy of a MOCA exhibit


OPPOSITE PAGE: CROSSWALK: @TOMMYLUNDBERG; THIS PAGE: CAPITOL RECORDS: @PHILGIOIA; MOONDANCE FESTIVAL: @KILLAKRISTENNN

GOLDEN HOUR One of L.A.’s most enduring (and endearing) landmarks—the Capitol Records Building in Hollywood

“My goal was to represent favorite places and hidden gems through photos that reflect a range of artistic styles and perspectives,” says Kurtzman.

GET SURREAL Downtown’s Los Angeles Theatre in a nighttime dream sequence

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the ORIGINALS

FRAN

DRESCHER

B A C K, BITCHES is

In this excerpt from Los Angeles’s new podcast, The Originals, the star of The Nanny and NBC’s Indebted tawks about fame, her (relative) lack of fortune, her close encounters with Les Moonves, and controversial embrace of alternative medicine through her Cancer Schmancer charity BY ANDREW GOLDMAN I L L U S T R AT E D BY C H R I S M O R R I S

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O

FRAN CLUB From left: Fran Drescher in 1990 with her first husband, Peter Marc Jacobson. With John Travolta on the set of Saturday Night Fever in 1976, where she voiced her immortal: “Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?” Above: Drescher on the set of NBC series Indebted. The show, she says, “[may] be my last hurrah. It’s too hard at this age” 8 0 L A M AG . C O M

Your voice has become a kind of trademark for you. But there was a moment where you went to a speech coach, right? Yes. My dear manager who is no longer with us said, “Honey, if you want to play anything more than hookers, you’re going to have to learn how to speak differently.” And I did try and learn how to speak in a low, slow flow. Your 1996 book, Enter Whining, is filled with the intimate revelations that are not common in celebrity memoirs and documents an experience from 1985 so horrifying I’m hesitant to bring it up. Well, it’s not on the level of Manson, but I am a victim of a violent crime. I was raped at gun point in my own home by a man who was recently out on parole. It was a horrific experience, and my girlfriend was with me and [ex-husband] Peter [Marc Jacobson] was there, and my dog was there. It took me a very long time to recover from that. But I was one of the lucky people who ended up having closure to it because he was apprehended and he was put in jail for two lifetimes. I was not his only victim—he said he was on a rampage.

In your next book, Cancer Schmancer, you talk about going through uterine cancer. It actually was a cathartic experience, but in a way I feel like I got famous, I got cancer, and I lived to talk about it—so I’m talking. It took me two years and eight doctors to get a proper diagnosis, but by the grace of God I was still in Stage I. The book became a New York Times best-seller almost instantly, and I realized that the book was just the beginning of what was to become a life mission. What surprised me is how many countries have either translated or created their own version of The Nanny. It’s been remade in a dozen countries. La Niñera is the Spanish [title] for The Nanny—that’s what it is in South America, Central America, Mexico, and, of course, Spain. And La Tata is Italian, and La Nounou is French. It was wildly successful in Russia and Hong Kong, too. I hear those details and I think of the word “mogul.” I honestly think that the people that were able to renegotiate on Friends ended up much richer than me, as were

INDEBTED: GREG LEWIS/NBC; FRAN DRESCHER AND PETER MARC JACOBSON: GETTY IMAGES; SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER: PHOTOFEST

F

ORTY-THREE SPRINGS AGO, inside a Bay Ridge, Brooklyn, disco, John Travolta was down and in no mood to do the day’s scene for Saturday Night Fever. Fearing her tiny part might end up scrapped, Fran Drescher marched right up into the feather-haired grill of the famous Sweathog. At that point, the 19-year-old from Flushing, Queens, was an actress whose biggest show business credit was a second-place finish in 1973’s Miss New York Teenager pageant. “Get a grip, John, and do the scene,” was the gist of her message. A grip was gotten, and now Drescher’s line, “Are you as good in bed as you are on the dance floor?” precedes Travolta’s iconic dance-floor solo. Whatever you label this trait—balls, chutzpah, grit, tiger blood— Drescher has frappéed it up with her talent and propelled herself into a five-decade career—one that neither an unthinkable violent crime nor cancer could halt. With high school sweetheart Peter Marc Jacobson, whom she likes to refer to as “my gay ex-husband,” Drescher created The Nanny. Now she and her beloved honk are everywhere again—notably on NBC’s Indebted, which, though not a runaway hit, scored its series high rating in March by attracting millions of quarantined eyeballs. (At press time, the annual New York harbor cruise fundraiser for Drescher’s Cancer Schmancer charity was still scheduled for June 22.) This interview—recorded at Drescher’s Malibu home a couple of days before the world pulled up its drawbridge in response to COVID-19—is a condensed and edited excerpt from Los Angeles’s first foray into podcasts, The Originals, a new series of interviews with this town’s most unfiltered icons, hosted by veteran interviewer Andrew Goldman and available on Apple podcasts.


Ultimately, it made you a rich person, right? Listen, I live large and have staff and have an apartment in New York. But I drive a car that’s 19 years old.

the actors on Big Bang Theory. Because I never made anywhere close to a million dollars a week. We had three different administrations in that network [CBS] over the course of the six years. And with each administration my show got less attention—and worse time slots—because every new president wants to put their own projects into the most coveted time slots. Did they sort of throw you to the wolves? Well, at one point, I was on my third president, Les Moonves. When he arrived, Monday night at CBS was really a woman’s night. It was me and Murphy Brown. It was just a whole different vibe, and then he came in: Everybody Loves Raymond and Bill Cosby’s show at the time and King of Queens. Bill Cosby replaced my time slot on Monday night, and I got put into Wednesday night. [Moonves] wanted me to do a commercial to promote the fact that Cosby was in my old time slot. And that was just too much. I said, “Les, I don’t mind if you shove an umbrella up my ass, but when you open it, you’ve gone too far.”

Do you think the way he treated women sexually was similar to the way he treated women on his network? Well, that wasn’t my experience with him. I’m not talking about him making a move on you. I’m asking if you think he just kind of hated women. Men who are sexual predators, or misogynists, when they meet a woman, they put them through some kind of a test, and you’re either going to pass or fail. I think I probably consistently failed his test. I was not the type of person that they could intimidate or manipulate. I never projected a sexual vibe. The Nanny was a huge financial boon for you, whether or not you made Friends money.

My point in asking this is, you don’t need the money, so why bother? Why work? To be honest, I think [Indebted] is going to be my last hurrah. It’s too hard at this age, and I’m not as into it. It takes me away from here more than I want to be. I’m in a dark soundstage all day—I don’t really love that anymore. I like being in nature; I like being with my dog. But it does make my parents very happy. And that was my motivation for taking it. Because they couldn’t find me and their friends couldn’t find me on TV Land, but everybody can find me on network TV. And Peter was excited about it, too. You want to make your exhusband happy? Peter and I are the best of friends. We’re almost still married in many ways. He has said that while married to you he felt truly bisexual, and his interest was split 50-50 between men and women. Why don’t you guys just get married again? I think he considers himself gay now. Well, as my wife likes to say: Nobody’s perfect. Honestly we think that down the road when we’re older, we probably will end up living either as neighbors or in the

“I told Les Moonves, ‘I don’t mind if you shove an umbrella up my ass, but when you open it, you’ve gone too far.’”

same house. At my second wedding, we had our Jewish gay minister friend say, “Do you, Shiva, take Fran and Peter to be your lawfully wedded spouse?” It was a joke, but there was a lot of truth in it, too. You were married for two years to Shiva Ayyadurai. Is it true that you were introduced by Deepak Chopra? He was a speaker at a Deepak event. I was very struck with him. Everything about him I found extremely intoxicating. There is this controversy, could you clear it up? Shiva seems to think that he invented email when he was 14. The press seems to believe that he is full of baloney when he says that. Do you believe that he invented email? Actually, yes. You know a lot of geniuses historically develop when they’re in their teens. They have a certain focus and drive, and they can put like 10,000 hours into an obsession. So Shiva wrote 50 lines of code that created like the office mail system: the inbox, the outbox, cc-ing. All that stuff that was hard copies in an office, he put it together, and it won the Westinghouse Award and got him into MIT. But in fact email was invented this guy who died recently, Raymond Tomlinson. Yeah, but that guy just invented the “at” sign. He didn’t really come up with the code that Shiva did. And you know what? It’s a very political thing. He’s a dark-skinned Indian, and tech is really a white boy’s game, have you noticed? Back in 1998, when you started experiencing painful cramps and bleeding, eight different doctors over two years said you were experiencing early onset menopause when what you actually had was uterine cancer. Misdiagnosis is extremely com(CONTINUED ON PAGE 97)

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THE MAN WHO MADE VAN HALEN

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BAND ON THE RUN

Van Halen exploded out of the L.A. club scene with their 1978 debut album, which showcased the virtuosity and revolutionary guitar technique of cofounder Eddie Van Halen. Rock would never be the same

In 1977 Ted Templeman agreed to check out an unknown band from Pasadena. The moment their guitarist hit the stage, the producer knew he’d chanced upon a talent as transcendent as Charlie Parker. In this exclusive excerpt from his new memoir, Templeman recalls the thrills and terrors of recording Van Halen’s debut. “I was obsessed” Adapted from Ted Templeman: A Platinum Producer’s Life in Music by Ted Templeman as told to Greg Renoff. Reprinted by permission from ECW Press


I

N J A N UA RY 1 97 7 I was working in my Burbank office at Warner Bros. Records when my secretary came in and said, “It’s Marshall Berle for you on line one. He says he has an unsigned band for you to see in Hollywood.” To be honest, I rarely bothered to take calls concerning unknown local bands. By the time Marshall called, I was a Warner Bros. vice president and staff producer—I’d already recorded albums with Van Morrison and Little Feat and discovered and signed the Doobie Brothers as well as Montrose, whose 1973 debut album would become a landmark in hard rock. I’d even had a fleeting moment of pop stardom in the ’60s as the drummer in Harpers Bizarre, remembered today chiefly for our top 10 cover of Simon & Garfunkel’s “The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy).” But Marshall was an old friend; he’d booked the Beach Boys, so I knew he had an eye and ear for young musical talent. So I picked up his call. He proceeded to tell me that he was managing the recently reopened Whisky a Go Go and was booking a lot of young acts. Then he said, “Ted, I’ve got a band for you. Their name is Van Halen. They’re from Pasadena, and next month they’re going to be playing two shows on back-to-back nights at the Starwood.” The first time I ever heard the name Van Halen was when Marshall said it to me. This wasn’t some sort of oversight on my part. At the beginning of my career at Warner Bros., I’d gone to clubs like the Troubadour to scout talent. But by 1977 that kind of street work was no longer part of my portfolio. Still, based on Marshall’s recommendation, I was intrigued. I put the dates on my calendar and told him I’d be there. So on February 2 I went down to the Starwood, on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood. I spotted an empty table with a candle and a card with my name on it, but I didn’t sit down. I bounded up the stairs to the balcony so I could watch the show

TED’S ADVENTURE

Producer and Warner Bros. exec Ted Templeman, right, pushed Warner CEO Mo Ostin to sign Van Halen after seeing them at the Starwood, below and right. “I wanted it to happen fast, before any other labels got wind of our interest. And I knew Mo could sign them on the spot if he dug them”

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from the shadows, thinking that if this band wasn’t any good, I could exit without any drama from anyone in their camp. One thing hit me before the show even started: They hadn’t drawn a crowd—the Starwood was almost empty. When Van Halen came onstage, it was like they were shot out of a cannon. Their energy wowed me, especially because they performed like they were playing an arena and not a small Hollywood club. So my interest was piqued, even though their singer didn’t impress me. At that moment that didn’t matter much, because their guitar player blew my mind. Right out of the gate I was just knocked out by Ed Van Halen. It’s weird to say this, but encountering him was almost like falling head over heels in love with a girl on a first date. I was so dazzled. I had never been as impressed with a musician as I was with him that night. I’d seen Miles Davis, Dave Brubeck, Dizzy Gillespie, all of those transcendent artists, but Ed was one of the best musicians I’d ever seen live. His choice of notes—the way he approached his instrument—reminded me of saxophonist Charlie Parker. In fact, as I watched, I was thinking there are two musicians in my mind who are the absolute best of the best: Parker; jazz pianist Art Tatum; and now here’s the third game changer, Ed Van Halen. So right away I knew I wanted him on Warner Bros. When I think back on that night, it wasn’t just one thing about him that grabbed me. It was his whole persona. When he played, he looked completely natural and unaffected; he was so nonchalant in his greatness. Here he was playing the most incredible shit and acting as if it were no more challenging than snapping his fingers. By the time their first set ended, I was sold. I slipped out of the club and hustled back to my car. Driving home in the rain, I was so amped about what I had seen that I stopped at two different pay phones, trying to get Donn Landee, my favorite recording engineer and right-hand man in the studio. I finally got him after I got home. I said, “I just heard this band called Van Halen at the Starwood. We’ve got to go after these guys. You’re not going to fucking believe it when you hear them. This kid guitar player is amazing!” I was so electrified by what I’d seen that I hardly slept a wink that night. At daybreak I called Warner Bros. Records chairman and CEO Mo Ostin, asking him to clear his calendar for that evening because there was an unsigned act he needed to see with me in Hollywood. He said, “If you’re that excited about this act, I’m


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there.” By approaching Mo I was being strategic. I could have just as easily gone to Lenny Waronker, Warner’s legendary head of A&R (who’d produced Harpers Bizarre), but I knew Mo, unlike Lenny, was a heavy metal fan. Mo listened to the Who. He’d signed the Kinks and the Jimi Hendrix Experience to Reprise. So in my mind I had Mo pegged as the executive most likely to respond to Van Halen the way I had. I knew I had enough juice inside the company to get them signed. But I wanted it to happen fast, before any other labels got wind of our interest in the band. And I knew Mo could sign them on the spot if he dug them. That evening the two of us, along with Russ Titelman, another Warner staff producer and vice president, went to the club. We met Marshall, and the four of us watched from the RECORDIN’ WITH THE DEVIL Van Halen at Sunset Sound. Templeman nearly replaced David Lee Roth, left, with future balcony. Once again, Ed’s performance moved Van Halen vocalist Sammy Hagar when Roth’s off-key singing seemed insurmountable me. His sound! The low-end thump from his cabinets—it just didn’t seem like those kinds of seismic tones should be coming out of those speakers. The other thing that sticks out in my mind is that they and not try to do anything to it. We’ve got to capture it.” Donn played “You Really Got Me.” I knew that Kinks song would resounderstood. Truth be told, without his involvement, I don’t think nate with Mo. On this second night I thought I should pay more Van Halen would have happened. attention to the band’s singer. As a performer and vocalist, he unFor their demo session, my goal was to run through their best derwhelmed me. His stage presence was awkward, and his singing originals and a couple of their covers. In the spirit of the sessions wasn’t great. I didn’t know it at the time, but David Lee Roth had I’d done with Van Morrison, I wanted to capture their sound and patterned himself after Jim “Dandy” Mangrum of Black Oak Artheir songs on tape in as raw and live a fashion as possible, so kansas. Sitting there in the darkness watching Roth, I was actually I planned to get all the basic tracks laid down in a few hours. a bit nervous that Mo was going to be turned off by the singer’s anThis way I’d have a reference tape that documented the band’s tics and perhaps might pass on Van Halen. Truthfully, Roth made repertoire and could assess the strengths and weaknesses of the me nervous, too. I thought, What am I going to do with this group different tracks. Our time in Sunset would also give me a good if we sign them and the singer can’t hold up sense of how the band members handled the his end of the bargain? I could make the guitar studio environment. I certainly knew well that player a solo artist if the worst came to pass. I some musicians who were phenomenal live perfound myself mulling over dumping the singformers crumbled under pressure once the red er for a stronger vocalist, like Montrose’s lead record light illuminated. singer, Sammy Hagar. I thought, hell, he might On the day of the session, the guys came into be the perfect singer for Van Halen. Sunset with their roadies and started preparWhen the lights came up, Mo, Russ, and I ing. Now I’d seen a million guitar players lay shared our impressions with one another. As out their amps and effects in a studio, but I’d it turned out, Russ didn’t really like Van Halen never seen a rig quite like Ed’s. His pedal board all that much, but Mo wanted to sign them. consisted of a little piece of plywood with his We told Marshall we’d like to meet them, so effects and cables duct-taped to it. It looked he took us backstage. The four guys were all like it was jerry-rigged together with spit and really nice, and when I talked to Ed about baling wire. But of course when he plugged in, perhaps making a Van Halen record, it was refreshing to discover turned up the volume, and stepped on those different pedals, it that he was so unaffected by his talent. Mo pulled Marshall and all sounded fantastic. We knocked down something like 25 tunes me aside. Mo said to Marshall: “Do they have a manager?” in about three hours. The band was well rehearsed and power“No, I’m just kind of looking after them.” ful, and Donn did a remarkable job of getting their sound on “Well, they do now. You’re their manager.” tape. When I relisten to those tapes, it’s as obvious now as it was Right there, we made the deal. I was ecstatic. then that they had a bunch of excellent songs: “Runnin’ with the Devil,” “Feel Your Love Tonight,” “Somebody Get Me a Doctor,” just to name a few. At that point they were like gemstones that needed cutting and polishing before they really shined. I FREQUENTLY DISCUSSED Van Halen with Van Halen’s biggest issue was one that as a producer I feared Donn before we first got them into Sunset Sound. He knew how I couldn’t fix. The truth was that Dave’s performance in Sunset passionate I felt about them, particularly when it came to Ed. I Sound only raised my anxieties about his abilities. Some of his insisted, “Above all else, we have to get his guitar sound on tape

I said, “We have to go after these guys. You’re not going to fucking believe it when you hear them. This guitar player is amazing!”

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ROCK OF AGES

Van Halen in an early PR shot (from left): bassist Michael Anthony, David Lee Roth, drummer Alex Van Halen, and Eddie Van Halen

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guys around Frank Zappa thought they could do that. But Dave naturally is that way. His intelligence came through in his writing, too. The more I read his lyrics, especially “Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love,” the more impressed I became. His line in that song about bleeding for something you really desire just stuck with me. He was extremely well read and smart, and that showed up in his whole approach to fronting Van Halen. He also had a tremendous sense of humor and dead-on comic timing. I thought that aspect of his personality, in particular, made for something unique within the heavy metal realm. Most bands of that genre were so strident and serious to the point of cliché. Dave had a unique way of laughing through the daily events of life that was infectious. So for me solving the puzzle of how to make Roth work within the confines of Van Halen came down to this: He wasn’t a conventional singer, to be sure. But he had certain gifts that were rare in the rock world, and those assets outweighed his flaws. In the end I hung in there with Dave, thinking that I’d find a way in the studio to accentuate his strengths and minimize his weaknesses. That’s why I decided against calling Sammy. I love Sammy as a person and as a singer, but if I’d tried to put him in Van Halen in 1977, I’d have made the biggest mistake in rock history, because Van Halen never would have made it without Dave fronting the band.

WHEN WE WENT back into the studio in August, I had a good handle on how I wanted them to sound on their record. I wanted Van Halen, sonically, to have its heavy and dark aspects, but I wanted the band’s pop sensibilities to shine through. When people listened to the album, I hoped they’d smile rather than grit their teeth. Van Halen’s harmonies, I thought, would be their secret weapon. When bassist Mike Anthony and Ed sang together, they sounded youthful, like the early Beach Boys. I wanted to have this pop, fun, Southern California sun-kissed vibe. Roth’s wonderful sense of humor also fed that upbeat feeling. Ultimately, Ed’s guitar playing would be the X factor in helping to determine the success or failure of their album. If Donn and I showcased it properly, it could cover up a whole host of sins related to Roth’s vocals. The vibe during the session at Sunset was upbeat and loose, which I think came through on the record. Dave was instrumental here. When we cut “Runnin’ with the Devil,” he started goofing around with this English bobby whistle that he wore on a chain around his neck. He made all kinds of noise with it, and we ended up using a bit of it on the record. If there was any overt tension when we made the first record, it was between Ed and his older brother, Al, the band’s drummer. They played off each other to a significant degree, so if one of them made a mistake, they’d turn on each other. Ed and

LYNN GOLDSMITH/CORBIS/VCG VIA GETTY IMAGES

vocal performances, to be frank, just weren’t acceptable. To be sure, he was distinctive as a singer; his train-whistle screams were identifiable in a good way. But every time I heard him get pitchy or completely miss a note, I worried that the public was going to be turned off by this band because of his limitations. Donn picked up on the same things. Since I’d confided in him my thoughts on Sammy Hagar, he’d turn to me when we were both at the board and whisper, “You’ve gotta call Sam.” I’d nod and say under my breath, “You’re right.” He knew that Dave scared the shit out of me. Thinking back on that first go-around with Dave in the studio, I started wondering if I should stop talking about it and actually see about firing him. While he had his moments, he mostly just croaked along while the other guys played the most amazing shit. At first Van Halen was like a really terrible algebraic formula that you need to solve but don’t know how to. On the plus side, I had a great band with an incredible guitar player and a singer who did these screams that were different than anything I’d ever heard. I still don’t know how he did them. He also had this engaging personality and looked great onstage. But the fact remained that he really couldn’t sing well. Could I find a way to pull better performances out of him? I honestly didn’t know. As I mulled things over, I tried to attend as many Van Halen rehearsals as possible. They practiced in the basement of Dave’s father’s house in Pasadena. I listened to their new songs and gave them feedback. They had a great big blackboard, like you’d have in a classroom, and we’d write these ideas down. At these rehearsals Dave would show me his lyrical ideas, things that became classics like “Atomic Punk” and “Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love.” When we took breaks I’d talk at length with him. That’s when I came to appreciate his astounding intellect; he’d quote a line from Tom Sawyer and then a comic book. I still don’t know anybody who can keep those kinds of stream-of-consciousness raps going like he can. Captain Beefheart used to try to do that; all the


Al had worked out these parts—these little synchronized parts for the bass, drums, and guitar. Ed would sometimes forget a fill, and he and Al would yell at each other, but they’d work it out after blowing off some steam. Truth be told, it was Al who struggled more in the studio than Ed. Listen to the drum fill right before the second verse on “Feel Your Love.” It’s a bit floppy and imprecise. As a drummer, that made me crazy. Now compare it to Ed’s rhythm playing right after the solo. Ed’s like a fucking metronome. He was always so locked in, in terms of timing. But also notice that I left Al’s fill on the record, because the rest of the take was good. I’m not sure I ever mentioned to Al that I had a problem with it. It was more important to keep those guys at ease and confident that the record was coming together than try to rework a basic track that, apart from a minor flaw, was excellent. Working with Ed gave me a chance to really draw on my bebop jazz influences. I thought of Ed’s solos as similar to those of Charlie Parker and trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie. When I listened to Ed within the confines of Van Halen, I had a visual of those two jazz legends playing with a piano or bass accompaniment. When they soloed, the piano and bass dropped down in the mix and played a supporting role. I thought of Ed’s solos in the context of Van Halen’s instrumental attack the same way. That’s why I wanted to feature his parts so prominently on the record. My bebop chops allowed me to understand Ed’s playing and how to make Van Halen work on record in a way that a lot of record executives—the guys who passed on signing the band—didn’t. I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out what is in some ways obvious: Mike’s bass was an important part of the Van Halen sound. The root of the chord was always so solid with Mike. He knew, almost intuitively, how to stay a simple course when we recorded so Ed’s guitar parts could shine. I didn’t need to work all that much with Mike on the first album because I knew he was on top of things. When we cut the basic tracks, I wanted to be sure to get performances on tape that felt fresh and energetic, especially with a great live band like Van Halen. So we’d record a few takes and then pick the best one as the master. That still meant, though, that we had work to do with Dave. When we cut the tracks, he always sang along with them, and we’d coach him through it. I then needed to do triage—and decide which aspects of his performances we’d later fix. If he hit a sour note, and I didn’t seem to react, Donn would throw me a look. He’d whisper, “Are you going to keep that take?” I’d feel guilty, but I’d say, “I gotta, Donn.” He’d whisper, “That’s terrible.” After we’d laid down the basic tracks, I’d cut Ed, Al, and Mike loose for the day, and Donn and I kept working with Dave. To be honest, I did that because I didn’t want anyone, especially the other three guys in Van Halen, to see how much we had to struggle to get Dave’s vocals on tape. It took forever sometimes. He’d be straining, and we’d work on getting him to hit certain notes. I did my best to keep Dave’s confidence up, knowing from experience as a vocalist how shitty it is to feel like you’re not pleasing the producer. But it was a tedious

process, one that I know was draining and frustrating to Donn. Unlike the three other guys, he had to be there for every second that Dave was in the vocals booth. Even though recording this album was less time-consuming and onerous than some of the other bands I’d produced, I’d walk out of the sessions totally drained because I was obsessed with getting everything right on Van Halen. In my head, between things like Al’s fills and Dave straining to hit notes, I was crazed. But eventually I realized those imperfections weren’t really flaws— that’s why it’s Van Halen. So I wanted it to be perfect. But you know what? The humor came across. Ed’s virtuosity came across. Al’s power came across. Dave’s smarts came across. It didn’t need to be a pristine performance. Probably my favorite song I ever worked on with any artist is “Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love.” It’s like the perfect rock song. The guitar part is timeless. You can’t get a better riff. One thing that people often miss is the way Ed constructed it. He spilled that final part of the riff into the next bar. That made the whole thing groove. Donn added a lot to that song. He got Ed’s massive rhythm guitar sound on tape, and I’m almost positive it was Donn’s idea for Ed to double his solo with a Coral electric sitar. Ed’s solo really sparkles as a result. During our last sessions for the album, something serendipitous happened. We’d moved from Sunset’s studio 2 to studio 1. I’m still not sure why. One of the days we worked in studio 1, Donn and I were preparing to track something in the next few minutes. Ed was by himself in the studio. I remember he was kind of noodling around on his guitar. I was out in the little side room getting coffee. I headed back and walked out into the studio. Ed was playing what would become “Eruption.” My ears perked up. I stopped him and asked, “What’s that?” “Ah, nothing. It’s just something I warm up on.” “Well, let’s hear it again. We gotta record it.” “Are you kidding?” “No, we have to record it. Right away.” He really didn’t think it was anything. But it was astounding. I walked into the booth, thinking Donn hadn’t been listening to what Ed was doing. I said, “You’ve got to hear this. Turn on the monitors.” Donn turned on the speakers, and we listened. I said, “We’ve got to record this. Let’s roll tape.” Donn looked at me and said, “I’m already rolling.” So it turned out that he had heard Ed playing and had turned on the tape machine. We got Al and Mike in the room. I don’t think more than ten minutes went by from the moment I first heard “Eruption” to the time we recorded it. After we’d gotten it on tape, Ed looked uneasy. “What’s wrong, Ed?” “Ah, I dunno. I think I can do it better.” I said, “No. No. That’s good.” I didn’t let him do it one more time. Sometimes I regretted that, because, I swear to God, three, four years later he’d remind me that he “could’ve played it better” than (CONTINUED ON PAGE 96)

COURTESY WARNER RECORDS

I didn’t want the other guys in Van Halen to see how much we had to struggle to get Dave’s vocals on tape. It took forever.

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LA MAGAZINE

Slices from Superfine Pizza P. 92

EATING IN A GUIDE TO GREAT TAKEOUT AND DELIVERY ACROSS THE CITY E D I T E D

BY

H A I L E Y

E B E R

WEST Birdie G’s SANTA MONICA » American $$

James Beard Award-nominated chef Jeremy Fox has dramatically retooled his sunny restaurant, named after his young daughter, for the moment. There’s prepared comfort food aplenty, from matzo ball soup to Reuben sandwiches, along with pantry items and sundries both basic—all-purpose flour—and gourmet—Spanish Bomba rice. Family style “hot plates,” like a grass-fed beef meatloaf and noodle kugel, feed up to six people. Finish things off with the beautiful, jiggly rose petal pie. 2421 Michigan Ave. (310-310-3616, birdiegsla.com, @birdiegsla). Takeout, curbside pickup, and delivery via ChowNow and Postmates. 12-7 p.m. daily. Beer, wine, and cocktails to go.

Broad Street Oyster Co. MALIBU » Seafood $$

Hit the road. Christopher Tompkins, aka “the Oyster Man,” has transformed his clam shack overlooking Malibu Lagoon State Beach (and across from a SoulCycle, if we’re being honest) into a drive-through concept. You can grab the lobster roll that first brought Tompkins acclaim, fresh oysters, or uni spaghetti. There’s plenty for the seafood averse as well, including a burger sprinkled with shio kombu (dried kelp) and Brussels sprouts in a bacon vinaigrette. 23359

T H E B R E A K D OW N With all the city’s restaurants closed for dine-in service amid the COVID-19 crisis, this month’s dining listings are devoted to some of our favorite options for delivery and takeout meals. W EST

EAST

Includes Beverly Hills, Brentwood, Century City, Culver City, Malibu, Mar Vista, Marina del Rey, Palms, Santa Monica, Venice, West L.A., Westwood

Includes Atwater Village, Eagle Rock, East L.A., Echo Park, Glendale, Los Feliz, Pasadena, San Gabriel Valley, Silver Lake

T H E VALLEY Includes Arts District, Bunker Hill, Chinatown, Historic Core, Little Tokyo, South Park

Includes Agoura Hills, Burbank, Calabasas, Encino, North Hollywood, Sherman Oaks, Studio City, Toluca Lake, Van Nuys

CENTRAL

SOUT H

Includes Beverly Grove, East Hollywood, Fairfax District, Hancock Park, Hollywood, Koreatown, West Hollywood

Includes Bell, Compton, Gardena, Hermosa Beach, Long Beach, Manhattan Beach, Torrance, Watts

DOWNTOWN

TIP

> For the most current info on what beloved restaurants are offering— from curbside takeout to meal kits — check their Instagram accounts along with their websites, both of which we’ve listed. Many spots update their social media more frequently than their home pages.

9 0 L A M AG . C O M

$ $$ $$$ $$$$

I N E X P E N S I V E (Meals under $10) M O D E R A T E (Mostly under $20) E X P E N S I V E (Mostly under $30) V E R Y E X P E N S I V E ($30 and above)

2020

Pacific Coast Hwy. (424-644-0131 , broadstreetoyster .com, @broadstreetoysterco). Takeout phone orders. 11:30 a.m.-8 p.m. daily.

Cassia SANTA MONICA

» Southeast Asian $$

At this grand Southeast Asian brasserie, Mozza vet Bryant Ng mines his Chinese Singaporean heritage, honors wife Kim’s Vietnamese background, and knows the secrets to making sublimely delicious food that travels well. 1314 7th St. (310-393-6699, cassiala.com, @dinecassia). Takeout, curbside pickup, and delivery via Doordash, Caviar, ChowNow, Grubhub, Postmates and Uber Eats. 4-9 p.m. daily. Beer, wine, and cocktails to go.

Colapasta SANTA MONICA

» Italian $$

Fresh, affordable pastas topped with farmers’ market fare shine at this sunny, casual spot. The colorful, poppy-seed-sprinkled beet ravioli is delicate and delicious, while the gramigna with pesto and ricotta is hearty and satisfying. 1241 5th St. (310-310-8336, colapasta.restaurant, @colapasta.restaurant). Takeout and delivery via Grubhub. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. Mon.-Sat. Beer and wine to go.

Dialogue SANTA MONICA » Modernist Cuisine $$$$

Dave Beran has dramatically pivoted his 18-seat tastingmenu restaurant concept for those looking for fine dining to go. Each day, he offers two ever-changing three-course meals—a meat and a vegetarian option— for takeout. Enjoy options such as beef short rib Wellington with market greens and a slice of Basque cheesecake with an equally splurgey bottle of wine. Meals come with heating and seasoning instructions. 1315 3rd St. Promenade (dialoguerestaurant.com, @dialogue.sm). Takeout via Toast. 4-8 p.m. Tue.-Sat. Beer and wine to go.

Felix Price classifications are approximate and based on the cost of a typical main course that serves one. For restaurants primarily offering multicourse family meals, the cost per person of such a meal is used.

VENICE » Italian $$

Evan Funke is a pasta purist who can slip Italian lessons into any meal, so it’s no surprise that his takeaway options include pasta kits that come with the sauce, fresh noodles, cheese, and instructions to

CO U RT E SY S U P E R F I N E P I ZZ A

MAY


assemble dishes like rigatoni arrabiata and casarecce with pesto Genovese at home. Not up for DIY? There are hot pizzas, antipasti, desserts, and Felix’s famous foccacia all ready to go (and eat). 1023 Abbot Kinney Blvd. (424-387-8622, felixla.com, @felixlosangeles). Takeout and delivery via ChowNow. 12-9 p.m. daily. Beer and wine to go.

Pizzana BRENTWOOD

twist, appetizers and seasonal salads are not afterthoughts but highlights. The pizzeria is also making its famous, limited-edition sub sandwiches more readily available (check Instagram) and has been making free meals for doctors and nurses. 11712 San Vicente Blvd. (310-481-7108, pizzana.com, @pizzana). Pickup and delivery via ChowNow. 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m. daily. Also at 460 N. Robertson Blvd., West Hollywood (310-657-4662).

NATALE E T H A I

C U I S I N E

» Italian $$

It’s not easy to make over the local pie joint, but 32-year-old chef Daniele Uditi has reimagined an urban standby with equal parts purism and playfulness, becoming a neighborhood favorite in the process. Most impressive is the open-mindedness that has him deftly transform the Roman pasta dish cacio e pepe into a pizza or putting a hearty short rib ragù on the Pignatiello pie. And in a real

DOWNTOWN

BON TEMPS ARTS DISTRICT Continental $$$$

› After a brief closure, Lincoln Carson’s critically lauded charmer is back. His multicourse family meals for takeout (below) are at once refined and hearty and skew French with mains like beef bourguignonne. But there are also plenty of veggies, from a market salad to roasted brussels sprouts with yogurt dressing. And, of course, Carson ends things with an amazing dessert. On weekends hit his “bake sales” to grab pastries, some of the best in the city. All of the Danishes are amazing, but the one with Harry’s Berries strawberries and ricotta is a standout. 712 S. Santa Fe Ave. (213-784-0044, bon tempsla.com , @bontemps.la). Takeout via Toast. 6-7:30 p.m. Wed.-Sun., 8-11:45 a.m. Sat.-Sun. Wine and cocktails to go.

Sichuan Impression WEST L.A. » Chinese $$ The Westside spin-off of the Alhambra original serves a selection of dishes intended to be nostalgiainducing for expats of Chengdu, the largest city in China’s Sichuan province. The cooking balances spiciness with subtlety, showcasing a cuisine that tantalizes the tongue while foreheads perspire and lips go numb. The handmade wontons will make you understand why the dumplings are a crowd fave. 11057 Santa Monica Blvd. (310-444-7171, sichuanimpressions.com, @sichuan_impression_). Pickup and delivery via Postmates and ChowNow. 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m. daily. Also at 1900 W. Valley Blvd., Alhambra (626-283-4622).

Vincenti BRENTWOOD

» Italian $$-$$$

Italian food lovers, rejoice. Chef Nicola Mastronardi is still cooking from his regular menu, turning out impeccably tender roasted octopus and crisp fried calamari as well as comforting pastas such as sausage-rapini orecchiette. Those with larger appetites can order the Jidori chicken stewed with tomatoes, black olives, and onions or the New York steak served with green beans, potatoes, and black truffles. No hugs from owner Maureen Vincenti right now, so air kisses will have to do. 11930 San Vicente Blvd. (310-207-0127, vincentiristorante.com, @vincenti ristorante). Curbside pickup and delivery via Postmates, Uber Eats, DoorDash, and Grubhub. 5-8 p.m. Mon.-Sat. Beer, wine, and cocktails to go.

“The Best of Culver City” 9 Years in a Row - Culver City News

“Readers Choice Award”

“Best of The West Side”

- LA Times

- The Argonaut

Venice: 10101 Venice Blvd. | (310) 202-7003 Full Bar | Sushi Bar Beverly Hills: 998 S. Robertson Blvd. | (310) 855-9380 Full Bar | Valet Parking

Dine In | Delivery | Take Out | Order Online

nataleethai.com

DOWNTOWN Badmaash HISTORIC CORE

» Indian $$

This Indian gastropub concept comes from the father-and-sons team of Pawan, Nakul, and Arjun Mahendro, who are all well versed in the culinary techniques of East and West. The menu features contemporary mash-ups, like a version of poutine smothered in chicken tikka, spiced tandoori chicken wings, and a spicy lamb burger. If tradition’s your thing, you’ll be comforted by spice-stewed chickpeas, potato and pea samosas, and what they call “good ol’ saag paneer.” Wash it all down with carefully curated, reasonably priced natural wines. 108 W. 2nd St. (213-221-7466, badmaashla.com, @badmaashla). Curbside pickup and delivery via Caviar and DoorDash. 12-9 p.m. daily. Beer and wine to go. Also at 418 N. Fairfax Ave., Fairfax District (213-281-5185). 4-7:30 p.m. Tue.-Sat.

Broken Spanish SOUTH PARK » Mexican $$$

CO U RT E SY B O N T E M P S

At his modern Mexican-American spot near L.A. Live, Ray Garcia is offering a multicourse family dinner with dishes like hand-pressed tortillas with landrace organic corn, refried lentils with epazote and queso cotija, and pork belly chicharrón. You can also grab tamales by the dozen. 1050 S. Flower St. (213749-1460, brokenspanish.com, @brokenspanishla). Curbside pickup via Tock. 12-7 p.m. Tue.-Sat. Wine and cocktails to go.

Guerrilla Tacos ARTS DISTRICT » Mexican $-$$ Fear not. The haute taqueria is serving up Emergency Taco and Emergency Nacho kits in various sizes along with margaritas for these trying times. The kits feed many and feature proteins like roasted

L A M AG . C O M 91


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H A L L O F FA M E 1 9 9 6 - 2 0 1 9

chicken, carne asada, and even wild boar. And, of course, they also include chef-owner Wes Avila’s delightfully complex salsas, which are some of the best in town. À la carte tacos and burritos are also available. 2000 E. 7th St. (213-375-3300, guerrillatacos .com, @guerillatacos). Pickup and delivery via Caviar. 11 a.m.-6 p.m. daily. Beer, wine, and cocktails to go.

Lasa CHINATOWN

» Filipino $-$$

Brothers Chase and Chad Valencia are offering meal kits for customers to whip up the restaurant’s tasty, market-driven Filipino fare at home. Don’t forget to grab a bag of salt-and-vinegar taro chips to munch on while you cook and a bottle of biodynamic wine to go with your meal. 727 N. Broadway, Ste. 120 (213443-6163, lasa-la.com, @lasa_la). Takeout, curbside pickup, and delivery; call to place your order. 12-4 p.m. Sat.-Sun. Beer and wine to go.

Superfine Pizza CHINATOWN » Fashion District $

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The great Rossoblu is temporarily shuttered, but you can still get a taste of Steve Samson’s Italian-food mastery at his casual pizzeria that serves both thincrust slices and whole pies. The pepperoni always pleases, but the honey—with spicy salami, provolone, Grana Padano, and buckwheat honey—really thrills. 1101 S. San Pedro St., Unit F. (323-698-5677, superfine pizza.com, @superfinepizza). Curbside pickup and delivery via the restaurant website within downtown, elsewhere via Uber Eats. 11:30 a.m.-8 p.m. daily.

Harold & Belle’s JEFFERSON PARK » Southern Creole $$ For Creole-style food—a mélange of French, African, and Native American flavors—Harold & Belle’s is as close to the Dirty Coast as you’ll come on the West Coast. And, the transporting food is now also transportable. The crawfish étouffée in spicy gravy will have you humming zydeco, while the bourbon bread pudding will leave you with a Sazerac-worthy buzz. 2920 W. Jefferson Blvd. (323-735-9023, haroldand belles.com, @haroldandbellesrestaurant). Pickup and delivery via Grubhub. 11:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Sun.-Thurs., 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m. Fri.-Sat.

Jon & Vinny’s FAIRFAX DISTRICT

» Italian $$

Jon Shook and Vinny Dotolo’s homage to the neighborhood pizza joint is an in-demand reservation that translates well to the comfort of your couch. The Italian American canon is prepared with the signature gusto of their first venture, Animal, but there’s also a more rarely seen delicacy in everything from the chicken parm to meatballs. 412 N. Fairfax Ave. (323334-3369, jonandvinnys.com, @jonandvinnydelivery).

CENTRAL Angelini Osteria BEVERLY GROVE » Italian $$$ Gino Angelini grew up on his grandma’s lasagna in a town outside the Adriatic city of Rimini and came to Los Angeles to cook with Mauro Vincenti. His extensive to-go offerings are both comforting and refined, from the ever-popular Gino’s meatballs to tagliolini limone to sautéed Maine scallops with Riso Venere and aged balsamic vinegar. 7313 Beverly Blvd. (323-297-0070, angelinirestaurantgroup.com, @angeliniosteria). Takeout, curbside pickup, and delivery via Postmates, Uber Eats, Grubhub, Caviar, and DoorDash. 11 a.m.-8 p.m. daily. Wine to go.

Antico

LARCHMONT VILLAGE » Italian $-$$

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Take comfort. Some of the city’s best ice cream is now available to pick up. Chef Chad Colby has converted his East Larchmont Italian restaurant into a takeout spot for foccacia pizzas and ice cream, fashioning a makeshift pizza oven with the plancha top that used to sit on the restaurant’s hearth. The ice cream has a wonderfully smooth texture, and the flavors are spot on. The honeycomb has garnered a lot of praise since the restaurant opened last year— and rightly so—but Colby and chef de cuisine-pastry chef Brad Ray have also been introducing flavors like cookies and cream and pistachio. 4653 Beverly Blvd. (323-510-3093, antico-la.com, @antico__la). Pickup and delivery via Caviar. 12-8 p.m. Mon.-Sat. Wine to go.

Guelaguetza KOREATOWN » Mexican $-$$

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92 L A M AG . C O M

An authentic Oaxacan restaurant located in a former Korean banquet has made for a happy jumble for decades. The tlayudas, giant tortillas, are irresistible when spread with asiento, a traditional condiment that could pass for whipped lardo. Thick with pounded almonds, olives, and roasted chiles, the seven different types of moles are a tapestry of interwoven elements. And now, the delightfully authentic flavors can be had at home thanks to the restaurant’s take-home meal kits. 3014 W. Olympic Blvd. (213-427-0608, ilovemole.com, @laguelaguetza). Takeout, curbside pickup, and delivery via Postmates, DoorDash, Caviar, and Grubhub. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Thurs.-Sun.. Beer, wine, and cocktails to go.

CENTRAL

RÉPUBLIQUE HANCOCK PARK Cal-French $$

› Margarita Manzke’s pastry case (above) lives on in the era of social distancing. Her carb-y delights can be ordered for pickup, while her husband and savory-cooking business partner, Walter Manzke, is making family-style dinners that start with baguettes and French butter and progress to dishes like cacio e pepe rigatoni and rotisserie chicken. The restaurant is also selling boxes of produce from one of its suppliers, Fresno’s Thao Family Farm. 624 S. La Brea Ave. (310-362-6115, republique la.com,@republiquela). Takeout and delivery via Grubhub and Postmates. 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Tues.-Sun. Wine to go.

CO U RT E SY R É P U B L I Q U E

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Pickup and delivery via DoorDash. 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. daily. Beer and wine to go. Also at 11938 San Vicente Blvd., Brentwood (310-442-2733).

Ronan

FAIRFAX DISTRICT » Cal-Italian $$

Daniel and Caitlin Cutler’s chic pizzeria retains its fun-loving spirit with delicious takeout specials like a $25 margarita-margherita combo with a cocktail and pie. Don’t sleep on the nonpizza items, like a great stinging nettle risotto or a French dip calzone inspired by Philippe’s. There are also kids’ menu items, pie-making kits, and loaves of sourdough bread. 7315 Melrose Ave. (323-917-5100, ronanla.com, @ronan_la). Curbside pickup and delivery via Caviar, Postmates, and DoorDash. 4-9 p.m. daily. Beer, wine, and cocktails to go.

SLAB

BEVERLY GROVE

» Barbecue $$

It began as Trudy’s Underground Barbecue, homegrown in the backyard of pitmaster Burt Bakman. Hungry diners would line up in the driveway of Bakman’s then Studio City home, desperate for a taste of his famous smoked barbecue meats. In 2018, Bakman came up from the underground, opening a sleek storefront that’s now filling orders for down-home fare to be enjoyed at home, from perfectly marbled brisket and slathered baby back ribs to pulled-pork sandwiches and collard greens. You can even get a six-pack of Bud Light. 8136 W. 3rd. St. (310-855-7184, slabbarbecue.com, @slab). Takeout and delivery via Postmates. 11 a.m.9 p.m. Mon.-Thurs., 11:30 a.m.-8 p.m. Fri., 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Sat.-Sun. Beer and wine to go.

EAST All Time LOS FELIZ » California $$ Tyler and Ashley Wells’s cozy bungalow café has long been a local gem, but it’s really something now. In addition to faves like the superb breakfast sandwich and salmon bowl, it is offerings grocery survival kits packed with tasty necessities, pasta kits with house-made tomato sauce, bake-at-home lasagna and pot pies, and much more. The Wells have also been offering a limited number of free boxes of market produce for those in need. 2040 Hillhurst Ave. (323-660-3868, alltimelosangeles.com, @freakinall time). Takeout and delivery via ChowNow. 9 a.m.-8 p.m. daily. Wine to go.

Atrium

LOS FELIZ » Eclectic $$

Chef-partner Hunter Pritchett (Son of a Gun) has breathed new life into the idea of a neighborhood restaurant and a stretch of Vermont Avenue not exactly known for its culinary cred. A number of selections from his globe-trotting menu are available to go, including an excellent breakfast burrito studded with Korean bulgogi sausage and a hulking head of cauliflower with Armenian salad and zesty pistachio zhuog. There are also plenty of options just for kids. 1816 N. Vermont Ave. (323-607-6944, atriumlosfeliz .com,@atriumlosfeliz). Takeout and delivery via Grubhub and Caviar. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and 4-8 p.m. daily. Wine to go.

Hippo

HIGHLAND PARK

» Cal-Italian $$

Hidden in a wood-trussed dining room behind Triple Beam Pizza, this Cal-Ital restaurant from Mozza vet Matt Molina balances casual and refined. Many favorites from the eat-in menu are available for takeout and delivery, including a salad of snappy wax beans sluiced with vinaigrette and fettucine with heritage pork ragù. Keep an eye on Instagram for fun specials like picklebrined buttermilk fried chicken and custom cocktails, where bartenders shake something up for you based on your favorite spirit, preference for shaken or stirred, and one word of inspiration. 5916 ½ N. Figueroa St. (323-545-3536, hipporestaurant.com, @hippohighland park). Pickup and delivery via Caviar. 5-9 p.m. daily. Wine and cocktails to go.

How could I have ever believed I could leave you and live? cantlivewithoutnature.org

L A M AG . C O M 93


PREFERRED VENDORS

PLANNING AN EVENT IN LOS ANGELES? Here are some of our favorite creative professionals

ENTERTAINMENT Artists Creating Entertainment artistscreatingentertainment.com 818.442.2809

Maury’s Bagels SILVER LAKE » BAGELS $ East Coast transplant Jason Kaplan spent a decade in L.A. before deciding he had to take matters into his own hands if he wanted a great bagel in this town. He started out as a pop-up at farmers’ markets and coffee shops, but his appropriately modestly sized, delightfully chewy bagels now have a brick-and-mortar location on a quiet, charming Eastside corner next door to Psychic Wines. Maury’s is currently not offering sandwiches, but you can grab its excellent whole bagels, cream cheeses, and smoked fish to make your own at home. 2829 Bellevue Ave. (323-380-9380, maurysbagels.com, @maurys_losangeles). Takeout and delivery via Caviar and ChowNow. 7 a.m.-2 p.m. weekdays, 7 a.m.-3 p.m. weekends.

Northern Thai Food Club EAST HOLLYWOOD » Thai $ Offering specialty dishes unique to Northern Thailand, this family-run favorite doesn’t skimp on flavor, spice, or authenticity. Tasty takeout meals include the khao soi gai (curry egg noodle with chicken), larb moo kua (minced pork), tum kha noon ( jackfruit salad), pla salid tod (fried gourami fish). For those unfamiliar with the region’s distinct cuisine, the illustrious sticky rice is still a staple. Need more incentive? Everything on the menu is less than $10. 5301 Sunset Blvd. (323-474-7212 or amphainorthernthaifood.com). Takeout and delivery via the restaurant’s website. 10 a.m.-9:30 p.m. daily.

Porridge + Puffs HISTORIC FILIPINOTOWN

DJ James Jordan mixcloud.com/jamesrjordan 949.293.1054

FLORALS Floral Art Å VYHSHY[SH JVT 310.280.0500

(626-795-5841, unionpasadena.com, @unionpasadena). Curbside pickup and delivery via Toast and Postmates. 12-9 p.m. daily. Wine to go.

THE VALLEY The Bellwether STUDIO CITY » New American $$ Ted Hopson is committed to doing all he can to ensure his neighborhood gem outlives this virus. Right now, the restaurant is continuing to offer curbside pickup by directly ordering through the restaurant. That means you’ll be able to indulge in delicacies—charred octopus (served with tabbouleh, preserved lemon, Greek yogurt, green olives) for $19—and a selection of handmade pasta dishes, like the strozzapreti with braised short rib ragù, red wine, and Parmigiano for $22. As a way to say thank you to the community, all bottles of wine are currently 25 percent off, and specialty cocktails are only $10. 13251 Ventura Blvd. (818-

» Pan-Asian $

Minh Phan’s beloved restaurant is still cooking up porridge and puffs, along with bahn mi and a set meal named in honor of the late Jonathan Gold. Proceeds from the latter go toward providing free meals to those on the front lines of the COVID-19 battle. Various provisions—from miso caramel to apricot habanero—are on sale to help jazz up your home cooking. Look out for a Mother’s Day brunch special. 2801 Beverly Blvd. (213-908-5313, porridge andpuffs.com, @porridgeandpuffs) Takeout via Square Up. 12-6 p.m. Thurs.-Sat.

Spoon & Pork SILVER LAKE » Filipino $$ The go-to for Filipino comfort food offers a variety of dishes, all featuring one shared ingredient: deliciousness. Spoon & Pork puts an innovative spin on some Filipino favorites—just try its adobo pork belly, pork belly banh mi, or lechon kawali. The dishes elegantly mix decadence with some authentic soul. 3131 W. Sunset Blvd. (323-922-6061, spoonandpork .com, @spoonandporkla). Takeout and delivery via the restaurant’s website. 12-7 p.m. Tue.-Sun.

EAST

PHOTOGRAPHERS

Tsubaki

SILVER LAKE

Hollywood Photo Booth hollywoodphotobooth.com 310.756.4098

The popular izakaya has modified its menu to include to-go-friendly options like bento boxes with charcoal-grilled ocean trout and Jidori chicken accompanied by miso soup, daikon pickles, greenbean goma-ae, and root vegetable kinpira. There are also fried pork dumplings and a fried chicken sandwich—perfect home-drinking food. The restaurant is also offering a virtual sake school, highlighting a particular sake with tasting notes and videos via Instagram Stories. 1356 Allison Ave. (213-9004900, tsubakila.com, @tsubakila). 12-8 p.m. daily. Takeout and delivery via Caviar and Postmates. Sake to go.

LIGHTING LightenUp, Inc. lightenupinc.com 310.670.8515

Anna Sargsyan annasphotoart.shootproof.com asargsy@gmail.com Jim Donnelly jimdonnellyphoto.com 209.914.3529

VENUES California Science Center californiasciencecenter.org 323.724.3623

94 L A M AG . C O M

ECHO PARK

Union PASADENA

» Japanese $$

» Italian $$$

The food shines at this cozy trattoria just off Pasadena’s main drag. Chef Chris Keyser, an acolyte of Philadelphia pasta maestro Marc Vetri, joined in 2019, keeping classics, like a great cacio e pepe on the menu while adding his own dishes such as a thrilling crispy octopus appetizer. Most of the eat-in menu is available to go, and family-style meals for four are also available. The pastas all impress, but don’t miss the wild mushrooms and polenta with a sublimely delicious sherry vinegar and truffle butter sauce. 37 E. Union St.

BAR RESTAURANT French $$

› A night at the pale-pink “neobistro” in the old Malo space in Sunset Junction always feels like a party, and now the restaurant will send you home with one. Chef Douglas Rankin, who worked under Ludo Lefebvre for years, cooks up three-course family meals nightly with eclectic mains like duck fried rice and lobster grilled cheese. There are also DIY boxes that allow you to make restaurant-style dishes at home. If you really want to go big, opt for the $225 premium (above) with jamón ibérico, cheese, olives, aged strip steaks, and smoked tomato bordelaise sauce. 4326 W. Sunset Blvd. (323-347-5557, barrestaurant.la, @barrestaurantla). Curbside pickup via Tock. 12-8 p.m. daily. Wine to go.

CO U RT E SY B A R R E STAU R A N T

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285-8184, thebellwetherla.com, @thebellweather_la). Curbside pickup by calling the restaurant. 4-8 p.m. daily. Wine and cocktails to go.

Black Market Liquor Bar STUDIO CITY » New American $$ Most nights it seemed half the Valley was here huddled at the bar. Sure the world has changed, but you can take comfort in still being able to enjoy Top Chef graduate Antonia Lofaso’s crowd favorites—meatballs, crispy spring rolls, and sticky toffee pudding. The market is also selling fresh pasta and handmade sauces. Popular cocktails like the jalapeno-infused, vodka-based Red Hot & Bothered have been bottled up for home use. 11915 Ventura Blvd. (818-446-2533, blackmarketliquorbar .com, @blackmarketliquorbar). Takeout and delivery via Caviar, Grubhub, Postmates, and Seamless. 3-9:30 p.m. daily. Cocktails to go.

BOOK IT Gaby Dalkin, a Los Angeles chef and Instagrammer, has a new cookbook out: What’s Gaby Cooking: Eat What You Want: 125 Recipes for Real Life.

touches like salted cucumbers and pickled onions. The sandwiches shine with plain cream cheese, but it’s worth grabbing a tub of Hank’s “angry” spread—a spicy, slighly sweet concoction—to have in your fridge. 4315 Riverside Dr. (hanksbagels.com, @hanks bagels) Takeout and delivery via Toast. 8 a.m.-1:30 p.m. daily.

SOUTH

The Brothers Sushi WOODLAND HILLS » Sushi $$$ At least there’s still sushi, and at this hidden gem, which was reinvigorated when chef Mark Okuda took the helm in 2018, the fare is really great. Keep spirits up with the Handroll Party home kits (there’s even one for kids) or splurge on an omakase to go. You can also order à la carte or get nonsushi items like soy-glazed grilled chicken. 21418 Ventura Blvd. (818-456-4509, thebrotherssushi .com, @thebrotherssushila). Curbside pickup and delivery by calling the restaurant. 12-2 p.m. Tue.-Fri., 5:30-8 p.m. Tue.-Sun. Beer, wine, and sake to go.

Hank’s BURBANK

» Bagels $

The L.A. bagel revolution continues as this stylish new spot in the Valley serves up carefully constructed sandwiches. Tomato, aioli, and maple-glazed bacon elevate a simple bacon, egg, and cheese, while a classic salmon-and-lox construction has thoughtful

The Arthur J MANHATTAN BEACH

» Steak House $$$

David LeFevre’s take on the American steak house is so midcentury plush, it’ll definitely be worth a visit to splurge after the quarantine ends to celebrate being able to leave your house again. For now, you will have to settle for sampling his culinary creations in the comfort of your own home. Whether that means ordering a top-grade Japanese Wagyu (4 ounces) for $60 or a petite New York steak for $38, wet-aged and darkened on the grill, for takeout or delivery is up to you. The overhauled menu no longer includes seafood dishes (except a daily special), but more casual options like fried chicken, pastas, and burgers are now on offer. Plus, the eatery is serving lunch in addition to dinner, and you can order raw cuts from its butcher shop (for pickup only). 903 Manhattan Ave. (310-878-9620, thearthurj.com, @the_arthurj).

Takeout and delivery via DoorDash and ChowNow. 12-8 p.m. daily. Beer and wine to go.

Gabi James REDONDO BEACH

» Spanish $$$

Mozza alum Chris Feldmeier has revamped his traditional tapas menu to offer a selection of family meals, along with discounted beer, wine, and cocktails— even gin-and-juice Jell-o shots. Meals are designed to fit a range of tastes and include a starter, main dish, and dessert. Feldmeier has even given them cute names like the Netflix & Grill, which comprises an arugula salad appetizer, two skirt steaks, filet mignon, french fries, and two chocolate bread puddings to feed four to five people for $125. Extra desserts can be ordered à la carte. 1810 S. Catalina Ave. (310-5404884, gabijamesla.com, @gabijamesla). Curbside pickup and delivery via DoorDash. 12-8 p.m. Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-8 p.m. Sat.-Sun. Beer, wine, and cocktails to go.

Hotville BALDWIN HILLS CRENSHAW

» Fried chicken $

Kim Prince has fried chicken in her blood. She is the niece of André Prince Jeffries, owner of Nashville legend Prince’s Hot Chicken Shack, where hot fried chicken is said to have originated. If you are craving what Prince calls her “fiery fowl, brined to burn,” you’re in luck. The restaurant is still operating for takeout only. And the full menu is available, including sides ($5 and up) like spicy mac and cheese and kale coleslaw and lemon pound cake and banana pudding for dessert . 4070 Marlton Ave. (323-792-4835, hotvillechicken.com, @hotvillechicken). Takeout by calling the restaurant. 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Tue.-Sun.

» WE WELCOME YOUR COMMENTS AND SUGGESTIONS. PLEASE EMAIL US AT LETTERS@LAMAG.COM.

Photo credit: Jes see Tip ton

Photo credit: Javier Vasq ue z

PROMOTION

Hector Villagra, Erin Gloria Ryan, Maer Roshan, Kimberly West-Faulcon

From left:The Discussion Panel of esteemed professionals; One lucky winner received a Wolf Gourmet blender

A Constitutional Conversation Presented by Center Theatre Group and Los Angeles magazine

February 27 Following an outstanding performance of What the Constitution Means to Me at the Mark Taper Forum, a panel of esteemed speakers including ACLU of Southern California Executive Director Hector Villagra, constitutional law scholar Kimberly West-Faulcon of Loyola Law School and Erin Gloria Ryan, host of Crooked Media’s Hysteria podcast joined Los Angeles magazine Editor-in-Chief, Maer Roshan, onstage for a timely discussion on what the Constitution means to all of us. centertheatregroup.org

Building the Kitchen of your Dreams February 22 Sub-Zero, Wolf and Cove held an expert panel discussion at Universal Appliance and Kitchen Center featuring industry professionals giving insight and tips on building your dream kitchen. The panel consisted of Scott Harris of Building Construction Group, Cesar Giraldo of Cesar Giraldo Design, Christina Tedder of Sweeten, and Igor Royz of Universal Appliance and Kitchen Center. subzero-wolf.com/west

L A M AG . C O M 95


THE MAN WHO MADE VAN HALEN

BAND ON THE RUN

Van Halen exploded out of the L.A. club scene with their 1978 debut album, which showcased the virtuosity and revolutionary guitar technique of cofounder Eddie Van Halen. Rock would never be the same

In 1977 Ted Tem Templeman agreed to check out an unknown band from P assad dena. The moment mom Pasadena. their guitarist hit the stage, the producer knew he’d he’ ’d chanced upon up a talent as transcendent as Charlie Parker. In this excllusive excerpt from his new memoir, Templeman recalls the thrills exclusive terror of recording Van Halen’s debut. “I was obsessed” and terrors Adapted from Ted Templeman: A Platinum Producer’s Life in Music by Ted Templeman as told to Greg Renoff. Reprinted by permission from ECW Press 82 L A M AG . C O M

The Man Who Made Van Halen C O N T I N U E D F R O M PA G E 8 7

the version that ended up on the record. Even more mind-boggling to me is that Ed wasn’t even going to show this piece to me or to Donn. If I hadn’t walked by at that moment, it wouldn’t have ended up on the album. Now it’s universally recognized as the greatest guitar solo of all time. After the record was in the can, the guys invited me to see their farewell show in Pasadena at the Civic. I stood out in the middle of the audience and soaked up the scene. They put on a great performance; Ed sounded exactly like he did on the record. I also noticed how Dave put the spotlight on Ed every time they went onstage: When Ed played “Eruption,” Dave hit everyone with all of this “Edward Van Halen!” hyperbole. He made their performances a showcase for Ed. Dave was savvy that way. The other thing I remember about that show at the Civic is how incredible “Ain’t Talkin’ ’Bout Love” came off live. The whole crowd was pumping their fists. It was like I was at a Beatles concert in the middle of Pasadena, and Van Halen didn’t even have a record out. That was great to see and a confidence booster for me as their producer. The game changer— I’m telling you, maybe the most emotional moment in music, for me, ever, in anything—was when I heard them play that song that night.

I BELIEVED IN Van Halen and wanted them to break through. But what was a bit weird for me was that most people at the record company weren’t high on their music. When I’d play the record, nobody there was enthused. That was upsetting because, honestly, that meant that nobody at the label was really interested in Van Halen as one of the promising new acts for 1978. Meanwhile I was sold 100 percent on these four guys. It was like dating a girl in high school that you 9 6 L A M AG . C O M

thought was the biggest catch, and all of your friends thought she was nothing special. So it was frustrating—I knew these guys had limitless talent. I knew breaking Van Halen was going to be an uphill battle at the label and in the marketplace in general. You couldn’t easily get Warner Bros. people to put a lot of money behind a heavy metal act like Van Halen in those days. Van Halen, on paper, seemed too niche and too out of step with the times. So it was up to me to really push them behind the scenes. Along with signing and producing them, I’m the one who got the promotional and tour support train rolling for them at the label. Promotion matters. You can’t manufacture a hit out of a terrible song, but you also can’t very well sell a great song that nobody hears. So I did my best to work the system to prioritize things for them at Warner Bros. Otherwise I feared they’d never get the financial support they needed to break through. “You Really Got Me” was a good tune for them, but my gut told me it wasn’t a stone-cold, top 10 hit, and, in the end, it wasn’t. The song stalled out in the Billboard Top 40. But that was enough to get Van Halen, a brand-new act, on the radar of rock fans and industry types. That’s not to take anything away from those guys. They made a great album and were killers in concert, so they made their own breaks. But there’s a lot that goes on behind the curtain when it comes to breaking a new act. See, along with being their producer, I was also a vice president. Every Thursday we’d have a priority meeting regarding promotions. When Van Halen came up, there’d be hemming and hawing. I’d be in those meetings—talking about millions of dollars—pumping up money for them. Still, I had to be careful. Van Halen was seen as “my” band, and as an executive you have to seem objective. So I’d have to do it on the sly. If I got word from Marshall that their record wasn’t getting a good push in certain markets, as a vice president I could try to fix it for them. I also helped with tour support. An unknown band like Van Halen wasn’t just magically going to have the kind of funds they needed to put on a great show. In fact, when it came time for the band to first go on the road, Marshall and I had trouble finding a big tour for them. I had to flex my muscles to get them onto a tour with Journey. They might have never gotten that kind of live exposure otherwise. The amount of money we’d put out in 1978 for publicity and promotion for them was a small fortune. If I hadn’t been a vice

president, if it was just Marshall calling up and making these requests to another executive who didn’t give a shit about Van Halen, Warner Bros. never would have invested that kind of money. It cost tens of thousands to send them to Europe and Japan. Those tours paid off big and had a lot to do with them getting recognized internationally. I spearheaded tour assistance from the label, but really what I was trying to do was invest corporate resources in something that I believed was going to pay off for everyone, and, in the end, it turned out I was right. By October their album had sold over a million copies, and we’d released four singles. Those guys became superstars, Warner Bros. made a lot of dough, and I did well, too. I guess I want to share my behind-thescenes role because I want it known how much I wanted to see those guys make it. I poured my heart and soul into Van Halen because I saw how hard they’d worked and how little they had to show for their years of effort when I signed them in 1977. They were so broke it was ridiculous. Ed had his car door tied closed with guitar string. Ed and Al hauled their gear in this battered, ragtag Ford Econoline van that looked like they’d driven it straight out of a junkyard. Dave’s dad had money, but Dave wasn’t living high on the hog. Dave’s car was in such bad shape that when he couldn’t start it one day after a session at Sunset, he left it and never came back for it. I swear, it was still sitting there, tires flattening and covered in pollen and bird shit, months after we finished the record. I know Mike was in hock to his parents. It’s so great and fulfilling when you see someone come from nowhere and suddenly put out a record. It’s even better when you see guys like that finally make money from their music. That’s what really makes you feel good as a producer. The thing is, years later a lot of artists don’t remember that hungry feeling. If I’d said to them down at the Starwood, “So here’s the deal: We’re going to lay out a million and a half bucks to put you on the road around the world to build your name, but you’ll have to pay us back,” they would have said, “Great! Where do we sign?” Any unsigned, unknown artist would have given anything for a deal like that from Warner Bros. But instead, decades later, it became a point of contention with Van Halen. They seem to resent the way Warner Bros. treated them. But I think if they’d reflect back on how badly they wanted a record deal, they might see things differently.


the ORIGINALS

FRAN

DRESCHER

B A C K, BITCHES is

In this excerpt from Los Angeles’s les’’ss new les new podcast, The Originals, the star ttar ta ar ooff The The Nanny and NBC’s Indebted tawks wks w ks about abou b out fame, her (relative) lack of fortune, tune, ttune une, her her er close encounters with Les Moonves, Moon M oonvves, es, and controversial embrace ce of of alternative medicine through gghh her her er Cancer Schmancer charity rrity ity BY ANDREW GOLDMAN I L L U S T R AT E D BY C H R I S M O R R I S

78 L A M AG . C O M

Fran Drescher Is Back, Bitches C O N T I N U E D F R O M PA G E 8 1

mon in this country because doctors are bludgeoned by insurance companies to do the least expensive diagnostic testing. Most doctors believe if you hear hooves galloping, don’t look for zebras—it’s probably a horse. When doctor number one said I was too young for an endometrial biopsy, I didn’t press the point. I was just happy to be too young for anything. Two years later doctor number eight, still convinced I was menopausal, ordered up a hormonereplacement therapy that exacerbated my symptoms. I started bleeding 24-7 because it had estrogen in it, which was like taking poison. She said OK it’s probably just the wrong combination of hormones, but just to be safe, let’s do an endometrial biopsy. Do you blame the doctors for not being open to these possibilities, or do you think it’s just really hard to diagnose these diseases? I blame the doctor. I think that there is too much misdiagnosis and mistreatment. I was lucky. My cancer was a slowgrowing cancer. Even after two years I was still in Stage I. But that became the cornerstone in Cancer Schmancer: catch it on arrival, 95 percent survival. Why isn’t everybody getting diagnosed in Stage I when it’s most curable? Though critics have praised your performance, the reviews of Indebted were not particularly great. The ratings have not been either. Well, the show keeps getting better. We’re holding 100 percent of Will & Grace’s audience, that’s our lead-in. I do think the show has improved a lot since the pilot. That’s what a first season is. You know, I’m not a writer-producer on it. I would have done things differently. It’s a little bit of a frustration for me to be honest.

What would you have done differently? I would have grounded it more. Two people lose all their money and have to move in with their kids. There’s a lot of stories to tell about that, and we don’t really deal with it very much. I have to say, the producers are very respectful. They hear me out. They don’t always do what I suggest, but sometimes they do. One time I called them down, and I said this needs a page-one rewrite, this is not my character, I cannot say this stuff. What was wrong with it? It was mean-spirited. She was being really mean to my daughter-in-law. I said my fans don’t want to see me play this, and I don’t want to do it. It’s all wrong. I think before I agreed to do the show they had another image for my character. They had Everybody Loves Raymond in mind, and the mother-in-law in that. You’re very conscious of the connection between health and diet. Food is medicine, and medicine is food— and we live in highly toxic times. I do a master-class health summit for my nonprofit, Cancer Schmancer. I curate some of the most progressive, radical, outside-ofthe-box-thinking doctors out there for an all-day event that streams around the world. And what we drive home over and over again to people is how you live equals how you feel. So what are you putting in your mouth? All the food you eat—if you’re not organic, you’re asking for trouble. Steve Jobs initially rejected Western medicine to treat his cancer, and many believe he might have been cured if he hadn’t rejected traditional treatment. Steve Jobs ate apples only for months on end! He did not understand functional medicine. He did not appreciate the functionality of the body and that the gut is your immune system as well as your brain. The approach of functional medicine is that cancer is just the end stage of a long term of low-level inflammation. And you have to reduce your inflammation and bolster your immune system. If you found out, God forbid, that you were sick, would your first call be to a Western practitioner? The thing that I would do with Western practitioners is take all the necessary tests because that’s covered by my insurance. I would listen to what their recommendations are, and then I would almost 100 percent go to one of these oncological alternative hospitals like Hope for Cancer

in Mexico. I meet a lot of people that go traditional and get better. But it’s a different approach. They’re trying to kill the cancer. We’re trying to build up the body to reverse it. That’s what the body is designed to do. If you end up with cancer cells that take hold, it’s because you have profoundly neglected your immune system. Look, I was a rape victim. I didn’t deal with my pain at the time. I went through a very painful divorce. I abused myself with overwork. I carried all this burden. I was experiencing probably a lot of inflammation without really acknowledging it. It’s almost poetic that I would end up with a gynecologic cancer because I was raped and didn’t deal with my pain. I Googled some of the speakers that have appeared in your Cancer Schmancer program and a few are labeled “quacks” for their beliefs. In the natural healing world, many believe that autism is caused by vaccines. What do you think? Well, I don’t like the idea of giving a baby 40 vaccines in their first two, three years of life. That’s just crazy. I think it is driven by big-business pharmaceuticals. If you had an apple tree, and all the apples suddenly were growing out kind of rotten, would you try and inject and cure each apple? No, that’s ridiculous. You would look at the trunk of the tree. You would go into the roots of the tree. You would try and understand what is making this tree sick. What would you tell someone who went to a pediatrician who said, “This is the schedule the government suggests. These are the guidelines.” Would you say no? Yeah. I mean, I got vaccines. But I think I have got four. It’s just way too much. People get very emotional about this. You hear over and over that the science is settled on this issue: Vaccines work. It’s a free country. And we are one of the sickest nations in the free world—we are No. 37 by the World Health Organization. And in a nation like this, don’t you think that’s a little pathetic? I looked at the highlights of your annual Cancer Schmancer cruise, and it looked like fun. The event does seem quite gay-there was a cabaret and a drag show. Well, I am a gay icon. When was that decided? During The Nanny. Drag queens were starting to imitate me. When Peter came out, I think that’s when I was elevated to Judy Garland status. L A M AG . C O M 97


Heroes of the Plague C O N T I N U E D F R O M PA G E 7 1

about the restaurant in South Pasadena that had a party on Saint Patrick’s Day. Early on I encouraged people to get out and walk the trails. And then what happens? You have thousands of people crowding a trail and not doing social distancing—so we had to shut the trails down. I pray that people recognize we are doing all of this to protect their lives. ERIC GARCETTI Mayor, Los Angeles I think most people in L.A. are adhering to our rules. The day after we shut everything down there was a restaurant in Canoga Park that was openly violating our order. As soon as we heard that we sent out a few cops to take them down. I’m prepared to do whatever we need to protect this city. The cops and first responders know they can tell them to get in line. DR. OTTO YANG Infectious Disease Specialist, UCLA Health I am the scientist overseeing the operations of the remdesivir drug study at the UCLA hospitals. There is very promising data about how effective this drug is against a virus. It’s like you’re building a chain of Legos, stacking one on top of the other. The genetic information on the virus is encoded in RNA, made of building blocks called nucleotides. When you put on a Lego that doesn’t have the right shape then the chain gets stopped. The hope is that this drug will make the virus stop making genetic copies of itself. DR. LISA DABBY Emergency Medicine Physician, UCLA Santa Monica A number of physicians have decided to stay in hotels because they don’t want to come anywhere near their families. I am trying hard not to kiss my kids or my husband because I’m afraid of passing this on. But how long are you supposed to stay away from the people you love? STAR FOREMAN Grocery Delivery Driver The other day I went out on order and I could not find many of the items my customer had 9 8 L A M AG . C O M

DR. OMAI GARNER (LEFT) AND DR. O T T O YA NG

UCLA Health

asked me for. I could tell she was ordering for her children so I did something I’ve done a few times now since this began. I took her aisle by aisle with me to pick out the things she wanted and could afford. I later learned she had a newborn and another child and was a single mom. I delivered what she asked me. After I was done she Venmoed me a $100 tip. AUSTIN BEUTNER Superintendent, Los Angeles Unified School District I gave a televised update about the crisis. And afterwards my kids were teasing me: “Dad, it looks like you read it more than you gave it.” I told them, “The alternative was actually just putting my head down on the desk.” MARCIA SANTINI Registered ER Nurse, UCLA Westwood Now you’re starting to see patients who are known positive and are getting sicker. So like you tested positive, say you were symptomatic, you went in and they did a test on you

and they sent you home. Go home, isolate for two weeks. If you get worse, come back. Well they’re getting worse and they’re coming back. CHRISTINE GHALY Director, Los Angeles County Department of Public Health Services In mid-March L.A. County opened up a homeless housing site at Dockweiler State Park. They had RVs with a bunch of beds, supplies that would last for over seven days. The whole project was produced in record time. It was a fast turnaround for anyone, but it was miraculous for a government entity. MANJUSHA KULKARNI Executive Director, Asian Pacific Policy and Planning Council Asian Americans are being spit upon, punched, getting bottles thrown at them— being given menacing messages at Costco. We’ve had about 600 incidents around the country, and 50 percent have happened in SoCal. Almost every single person I’ve talk-


ed to is frightened about leaving their homes to get supplies. Neighbors are saying things like, “Go back!” We’re extremely concerned about what policies Trump could enact in an executive order. People are wondering: “Tomorrow, could my family and I be in a concentration camp?”

weeks. I need to report in to them twice a day, get my temperature taken, and answer a series of questions. It doesn’t mean that I cannot work. If you become symptomatic, you cannot work. But there are also asymptomatic carriers. So that is the scary part.

RAY FAMILATHE President, Longshoremen’s Union, Ports of L.A. and Long Beach I’m 61 years old, a native San Pedroan, and I have never seen anything like this. There’re critical goods that need to get not only to Southern California and statewide but the larger nation as a whole. Right now the factories that supply us with these things are just slowly ramping up in China, and ship arrivals should begin increasing over the next few weeks. And that’s going to be critical to everything going on related to the coronavirus right now.

MICHAEL RITCHIE Artistic Director, Center Theatre Group I’m sure there are pieces being written right now about what’s going on that have almost a journalistic view. But I think it will also infect something much deeper. I think it will affect people’s souls.

MARCIA SANTINI Registered ER Nurse, UCLA Westwood UCLA sent me a generic email a few days ago informing me that I was exposed to a patient who had a positive COVID test so now I have to be quarantined for two

DR. MARK MOROCCO Clinical Professor of Emergency Medicine, UCLA Every time I see a patient now, I’ve got to stay in the moment. And it’s tremendously draining to be thinking about what I’m doing with my personal protective equipment at every step as I talk to the patient, as I examine the patient, as I move about the room, as I leave the room and head back into the hall. Every one of those steps is a potential for me to contaminate myself or the ER environment because we are

assuming that all these patients are shedding virus. You feel tired after a ten-hour shift in a level one trauma center, but what I’m talking about now is a quantum leap. Tempers are short. But people are working hard to be kind to each other and at the same time reach out to the patients who really need us. And then you combine that with social media and Fox News and the potential for misinformation and panic is like pouring gasoline on a lit match. We’ve had three years to get primed with anxietyproducing information unharnessed during the Trump presidency where foreign policy and health care policy goes out by a tweet. And then, boom, out of nowhere from Mother Nature comes this. Pull it all together and you have an event truly unprecedented in our lifetime. It will be very interesting to see what a city like ours in a society like ours—where we are blessed with great weather, tremendous resources, cultural delights, a tremendously diverse population of people—if we are able to really mirror what I think is the best of Los Angeles and to move forward from this just as diverse but stronger, just as different but more unified. Every day I hope that happens.

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CLASSIC EDITION

Q

Does Grauman’s Chinese Theatre remove the handprints of old stars to make way for new ones?

U N D E RWO O D A R C H I V E S /G E T T Y I M AG E S

tycoon and reformed smoker William Bloomfield put up the board, which resets every January. His boards in Salt Lake City and Albuquerque kept the grim tally as well but were dismantled years ago. This one is staying put, even though Bloomfield died in 2008 at age 90. Was smoking to blame? “No,” says a spokesman for Bloomfield’s company, “he was just really old.”

A:

No, although some at the site have been shuffled, and Mickey Rooney, Jean Hersholt, and honorary Hollywood Mayor Johnny Grant returned to recast ones that were damaged. The only missing prints belong to Edmund Purdom, the swarthy star of the 1954 film The Egyptian. Nobody really knows what happened to them. A long-standing urban legend claims that Charlie Chaplin’s prints were removed during the McCarthy era because of his leftwing politics, but the evidence suggests that those prints never existed. Chaplin did cast footprints in 1918 at his Hollywood studio on La Brea Avenue; but those now reside on the grounds of Vincennes University in Indiana. Q: Is Burbank in the Valley or not? A: Despite popular perception, not only is Burbank part of the Valley but so is Glendale. “We redefined the borders ten years ago,” 10 0 L A M AG . C O M

Bruce Ackerman, the late president of the economic Alliance of the San Fernando Valley, told us in 2006. He said the Valley’s eastern edge stops right around the 2

freeway, which stretches to Eagle Rock. Q: My friend tells me the Hollywood Sign was lit up in the ’70s. Why not now? A: Maybe it was your friend who was lit up, because those letters have rarely shone. When the sign bowed in 1923 to advertise the new Hollywoodland subdivision, the letters were wired with tiny incandescents. But the landmark quickly went to seed after the lots were sold. During the Depression the copper wiring was sold for scrap. There have been

a handful of temporary lightings: lasers and kliegs to celebrate sign rehabs in 1973 and 1978, for the 1984 Olympics, and for one night only to usher in Y2K, but that’s about it. Locals fear a beacon would attract tourists at night, and they’re sick of putting up with them during the day. Q: When was the Smoking Deaths This Year and Counting billboard at Santa Monica Boulevard and Veteran Avenue erected? A: In 1987 Laundromat

Q: When did pizza first arrive in L.A.? A: Although nowadays you can find L.A. pies topped with everything from oysters Rockefeller to ground bison, in the ’30s it was tough to score a slice. At the end of that decade, Chianti on Melrose Avenue offered an exotic “pizetta,” but only at the bar. Around the same time Lucca on Western Avenue introduced an unpopular “Italian food bread—pronounced ‘Peet-sah.’ ” But the first Los Angeles pizza worthy of the name was served by Pasquale “Patsy” D’Amore at his Casa D’Amore in Hollywood in 1939. You can still enjoy his unbeatable recipe at Patsy D’Amore’s Pizza at the Fairfax District’s Original Farmers Market, where his daughter Filomena runs the show.

VOLUME 65, NUMBER 3. LOS ANGELES (ISSN 1522-9149) is published monthly by Los Angeles Magazine, LLC. Principal office: 5900 Wilshire Blvd., 10th Floor, Los Angeles, CA 90036. Periodicals postage paid at Los Angeles, CA, and additional mailing offices. The one-year domestic subscription price is $14.95. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to LOS ANGELES, 1965 E. Avis Dr., Madison Heights, MI 48071. Not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or other materials, which must be accompanied by return postage. SUBSCRIBERS: If the Postal Service alerts us that your magazine is undeliverable, we have no further obligation unless we receive a corrected address within one year. Copyright © 2020 Los Angeles Magazine, LLC. All rights reserved. Best of L.A.® is a registered trademark of Los Angeles Magazine, LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part of any text, photograph, or illustration without written permission from the publisher is strictly prohibited. SUBSCRIBER SERVICE 866-660-6247. GST #R133004424. PRINTED IN THE USA.

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