The Carnival Elle was so afraid. It was his turn now. She picked the gun up for the third time and put it up to her head. She pulled the trigger.
4 hours earlier Elle woke up and went to shower. Today was the carnival that her school put on every year for current students and students who had graduated a few months before. She had gone since she was a freshment in Charlestown high school but a few months before she had graduated so this was her last. She was so excited to go and meet all of her friends especially because she was going to a college in California and wouldn‘t see them for quite a bit. She called her friend, Mike and a few minutes later he showed up in front of her house. They arrived to the Carnival a few minutes later and met the others. Elle‘s phone rang and she walked a little further from the kids. She answered the phone but she didn‘t hear an voice, she tried again but nobody answered. Suddenly someone grabbed her hair from behind, he put a black bag on her head and drew her into a little cabin. She screamed for help but nobody heard her. She tried struggle but it didn't work,Nothing worked. She was so scared, and angry. Why me, she thought but was caught from that thought when a man ripped the bag of her head. She saw the man for about 2 seconds but then then the bag went on her head again and they kept on walking. The man pushed her into a chair and took the bag off her head. She looked around and saw that she was in a really big circus tent and a crowd of people was watching her and twelve other people who sat at a circular table. At first she didn‘t recognize anyone that sat with her at the table but then she realized that the people had all been with her in biology class last semester.She didn‘t know any of them that well but she did know the name of everybody. Elle had no idea what see was doing there and she was very nervous and scared, especally when she saw a gun at the middle of the table. She wanted to run away but she couldn‘t because of the security guards that covered all the exits. Suddenly a deep voice started speaking. „welcome to the first russian roulette of the charlestown high school“ Everybody started clapping and cheering. What is going on?! thought Elle while the deep voice continued
speaking. Elle couldn't focus on what he was saying, because she was to scared, She was involved in a Russian roulette and there was about 99% chance that she wouldn‘t be alive after this night. The man kept on speaking but she couldn‘t hear what he was saying until he said her name, Elle turned her head at him and he said that she would start. She stood up from the table and picked up the gun There was just one shot in it so there was a chance that she wouldn‘t die. She pulled the trigger. Nothing happened, she was very relieved. She put the gun back to the middle of the table and sat down The second round was done and there was already 7 people of 13 dead. It was very hard watching a people you know just die like that for no reason but was I the only one who thought that because when someone died everybody started clapping, Elle thought. Elle was so afraid. It was he turn now. She picked the gun up for the third time and put it up to her head. She pulled the trigger.... BANG.
You’ve improved this since the last time you showed it to me and it’s a great idea for a story, but I really think you need to make up some explanation, even if it’s crazy, for this Russian roulette in a seemingly normal town. Who is playing the game? What is his purpose? How does he choose his victims? Does he have anything against them? How does he (they?) manage it without the police finding out? Can you add a bit and make a really fantastic story?