one last thing
HUMOUR
A year in recipe review(s) Written by MONICA HEISEY Illustration by LEEANDRA CIANCI
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CRANBERRY, WHITE CHOCOLATE & OATMEAL COOKIES 10
This recipe is a HIT. I brought these to a work picnic. Not only did my boss come back for thirds, aloof office heartthrob Steve talked to me for the first time! I wouldn’t change a thing—except substituting white flour for oat flour, dark chocolate for white chocolate chips, skipping the cranberries and using the dough as the base for a frozen treat. I guess what I’m saying is: I made chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches, but really appreciated this recipe as a jumping-off point. SPAGHETTI & MEATBALLS 1.0 A classic for a reason!!! 8 10 Great first-date food; I cooked this for a colleagueturned-more and I substituted bread crumbs for graham crackers, chili for garlic and dessert for . . . well . . . ;) Just go easy on the garlic! TURKEY WITH SAGE STUFFING It feels important to 3 10 note that this turkey needs, like, a lot of time and patience, and that if you are cooking Christmas dinner for your new boyfriend’s family, you might want something a little less labour-intensive or likely to make you yell “I KNOW HOW TO STUFF A BIRD, GLADYS!!!” at someone’s elderly mother. Also I substituted whole brioche for the traditional bread crumbs. NEW YEAR’S PUNCH While this punch is delicious— 2 10 the rum mixes playfully with the pineapple, and the
98
CHATELAINE • MAY/JUNE 2022
old-school maraschino cherries are a nice touch—it’s worth mentioning that it is QUITE strong. I wouldn’t say it was the only reason Steve and I had an enormous fight or why, at midnight, I frenched a potted plant to “teach him a lesson,” but it didn’t help. It’s January 7, and we haven’t spoken since. For an extra festive kick, freeze cranberries into the ice cubes! CLASSIC FUDGY BROWNIES The serving size, I’m 6 10 sorry, is discriminatory toward women whose difficult emotional circumstances have synced with an unfortunate part of their hormonal cycle. Might be more accurate to say: “Makes six . . . as long as you are in a good place. Otherwise, makes one.” I also found them difficult on my digestive system (substituted two cans of black beans for most of the flour . . . but still). WINTER SQUASH SALAD A GREAT RECIPE FOR A 400 10 WOMAN IN CONTROL OF HER LIFE! A DELICJUS MEAL FOR SOMEUN WHO DOESNTT NEED A MAN AND WHO WILL BE JUZT FINE, ACTUALLY, STEVE!!!!! I replaced the squash with a bottle of wine, the spinach with a second bottle of wine, and the pine nuts with a straw. AMAZING recipe and so easy 2 make, will def make again soon!!! SPAGHETTI & MEATBALLS 2.0 Steve came back as I 10 10 was crying into a can of tomatoes. We ordered in. Best spaghetti ever.
