Elle - July 2016

WOMEN IN

COMEDY STARRING

KRISTEN WIIG MELISSA McCARTHY LESLIE JONES KATE McKINNON

ELLE.COM JULY 2016

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JULY 1

Whether you call it goth pop, dream pop, or folktronica, Bat for Lashes is hypnotically listenable. She releases The Bride, her fourth album, after a four-year hiatus. er aint ght Ex p’s Bullfi b A l of ooning etai A d ne de K i Ela

JULY 1 The story of the studliest ape-raised man who ever lived is retold in The Legend of Tarzan, starring Alexander Skarsgård, Skarsgård’s rippling abs, and Margot Robbie as Jane.

JULY 2 The MCA Chicago gets meta with Witness, a show exploring the interplay of the observed and the observer via the work of photography superstars and Cindy Sherman.

JULY 5 Robin Ha’s brilliant Cook Korean! includes 64 recipes expressed as comics (complete red chili).

JULY 8 Shura, the buzzy

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e ly olut Abs ulous Fab

Sald

JULY 12 Denver Art Museum’s Women of Abstract Expressionism brings attention to the movement’s oft overlooked female painters (there’s a book, too, out today). In New York, at Cheim & Read, The Female Gaze, Part Two features heavy hitters like Louise Bourgeois alongside up-and-comers like EJ Hauser.

JULY 22

JULY 15 Taschen’s topical cofeetable tome Castro’s Cuba includes hundreds of photos by Lee Lockwood, who arrived in Havana in 1958 to ind it on the cusp of revolution.

by Jessie Burton, follows two women in separate decades tied together by a mysterious painting.

JULY 16 In the third season of Starz’s Power, the binge-worthy drama produced by 50 Cent and created by ELLE Agenda adviser Courtney Kemp Agboh, the life of Ghost (Omari Hardwick)—adulterer, dapper nightclub owner, drug dealer trying to exit the game—somehow gets even more complicated.

ana

behaved as ever.

JULY 26 Just in time for the

THE POWER OF PATTY COMPELS YOU!

Possessed with the urge to see our cover stars show off their specter-busting skills? Of course you are! Enter for a chance to win a private screening of Ghostbusters for 50 people in your hometown (popcorn and drinks included). Plus, 25 runners-up will receive a pair of Fandango movie tickets. For details, turn to page 155.

ELLE.com/ghostbusterssweeps

Clockwise from top left: Shirlaine Forrest/Getty Images; Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images; John Kopaloff/FilmMagic (2); courtesy of Sony Pictures Entertainment Inc; David Appleby © 2016 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation; Elaine de Kooning Trust; illustrations: courtesy of Cook Korean!, by Robin Ha (Ten Speed Press)

THE MONTH IN CULTURE

T H E S H O P S AT C RY STA L S L A S V EG A S

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JULY 5 Our pick for National Bikini Day: a gilded neoprene number (5) from Malibu newcomer Dos Gardenias.

JULY 7 In Rome for Fendi’s ninetieth anniversary haute fourrure show?

Check out the MAXXI museum’s retrospective on revolutionary stadium engineer and architect Pier Luigi Nervi (1).

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JULY 10 Move over, Choupette.

Fashion’s pets du jour are designer Francisco Costa’s flock of heritage chickens (7). They reside on Isabella Rossellini’s Long Island farm and, naturally, are now the subject of a photo exhibit at the

Bellport-Brookhaven Historical Society.

JULY 15 Put on your glad rags

Coffee-table tome Gus Van Sant: Icons surveys the Oscar-nominated filmmaker’s wide body of work, from photography (of, say, his To Die For leading lady Nicole Kidman) to watercolor (2) and charcoal portraits, and marks the occasion of a Van Sant exhibit at Paris’s Cinémathèque française.

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on steroids (6), now

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Forgot to pack your feathered Mayangoddess footwear (3)?

No problem. Browse Ancient Greek Sandals’ collab with the duo behind lifestyle brand Caravana at Tulum resort Coqui Coqui’s beachside pop-up shop.

JULY 30 For minimalists who need to be street style– ready even at the gym, there’s A.P.C.O.V. (4), an athleticwear team-up between French favorite A.P.C. and equally pareddown activewear brand Outdoor Voices.

Clockwise from top left: courtesy of the artist and Gagosian Gallery; courtesy of the designer; Coco Capitan; dosgardenias.com; courtesy of the artist; Patrice Casanova; courtesy of Fondazione MAXXI

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44 FUNNY HA-HA!

ELLE’s resident Fashion Know-It-All shares the real secret to sartorial survival: an ear for comedy.

By Anne Slowey

54 SNAKES ON A CHAIN

With a new fine-jewelry collection, museum exhibition, and book, Bulgari recommits to its slithering muse.

By Amanda FitzSimons

KILLING IT For our first-ever Women in Comedy Issue, we bring you a range of covers, starring four high priestesses of ha-ha. More good news: They’re as collectible as they are chic!

56 POINT BREAK

Introducing seven new designers now expanding the fashion horizon ABOUT A GIRL

The ’90s are back! Just in time, Anna Sui rereleases her grit-era greatest hits.

By Alex Frank

134 GET REAL

KRISTEN WIIG

MELISSA MCCARTHY

“I wanted to be an actress as much as any other 10-year-old girl thinks it in front of a mirror. But it wasn’t anything I thought I could ever do. Hollywood seemed like another world.”

“You can only make what you’re doing as good as possible—if you ever want to do it again.”

Our fall fashion preview puts runway chic to the real-world test.

Photographed by Azim Haidaryan. Styled by David Vandewal

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FEATURES 106 SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS

We’re head over heels for shoe designer Chloe Gosselin’s midtown Manhattan home.

By Naomi Rougeau

110 IT’S A DOLL WORLD

Adderall, Ambien, Ativan… writer Holly Millea reflects on our pill-popping culture as Jacqueline Susann’s Valley of the Dolls prepares for the big 5-0

114 FOR STEFI, WITH LOVE AND SQUALOR

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When her hypermasculine father underwent a sex change, feminist critic Susan Faludi was determined to get to the bottom of their fraught relationship. By Lisa Chase

KATE MCKINNON

LESLIE JONES

“When I do an impression, I’m celebrating the part of myself that overlaps with whomever I’m doing.

If there’s no overlap, I can’t do it.”

“Remember the George Jefferson days? Let’s start offending each other again. Our world really needs comedy back!”

KRISTEN WIIG wears a sequin-embellished tweed jacket and wool belted trousers from Marc Jacobs, a lace and silk chiffon bra from Morgan Lane, a diamond and platinum earring from Chopard, and a diamond and white gold ring from Ana Khouri. To get Wiig’s makeup look, try LashBlast mascara in Very Black, Eye Shadow Quad in Stunning Smokeys, Ink It! liner in Charcoal Ink, Clean Glow Blush in Roses, and Jumbo balm in Caramel Cream. All, CoverGirl. MELISSA MCCARTHY wears a silk charmeuse blouse and skirt from Prabal Gurung, tanzanite, blue sapphire, diamond, and platinum earrings from Martin Katz, a diamond and rose gold bracelet, and a diamond, white gold, and black rhodium bracelet from Kimberly McDonald, and her own rings. To get McCarthy’s makeup look, try LashExact Mascara in Very Black, TruNaked Shadow Palette in Roses, Intensify Me! liner in Intense Black, and Oh Sugar! balm in Taffy. All, CoverGirl. KATE MCKINNON wears a wool and silk blazer and wool trousers from Dolce & Gabbana, a diamond and white gold earring from Nirav Modi, a white gold and diamond choker from Anita Ko, a rose gold and diamond necklace, yellow gold, white gold, rose gold, and diamond rings from Cartier, and crystal-embellished satin sandals from Gianvito Rossi.

To get McKinnon’s makeup look, try Super Sizer Fibers Mascara in Very Black, LineExact liner in Very Black, and Clean Glow Bronzer in Spices. All, CoverGirl. LESLIE JONES wears a crystal-embroidered lace gown from Sophie Theallet, a nylon and stretch-lace bra from Triumph, diamond and titanium earrings from Chopard, and leather sandals from Stuart Weitzman. To get Jones’s makeup look, try Flamed Out shadow in Molten Black, Flamed Out pencil in Midnight Flame, and Katy Kat lipstick in Crimson Cat. All, CoverGirl.

All four covers: Photographed by MARK SELIGER; styled by SAMIRA NASR. Hair

by Ted Gibson at TedGibson.com; makeup by Lisa Storey at the Wall Group (Wiig and

Clockwise from top right: Mark Seliger (4); Devon Jarvis/Studio D; courtesy of Gagosian Gallery; Azim Haidaryan; Getty Images; Richard Majchrzak/Studio D

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Late-night mainstay Seth Meyers talks with Mickey Rapkin about fatherhood, interviewing the Donald, and hiring his staff—some of whom come along for the ride

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94 SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND

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MOMMY DEAREST An Abbreviated Life (Harper), an explosive new memoir from acclaimed journalist Ariel Leve, chronicles Leve’s dismal childhood under the primary care of her riveting, glamorous, intellectual, and ultimately incredibly destructive mother. Leve takes care to shield her famous feminist parent’s identity, but hews closely to the facts of her chaotic and traumatizing girlhood as she unspools the damage she still carries with her well into her forties. In the company of captivating

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readers, Leve’s writing seems to stem from an open wound, and the endless dinner parties, emotional manipulations, and screaming fits take on menacing proportions in her recounting. Written from Bali, where she lives in self-imposed isolation from her mother, Leve has found a romantic partner in a local diving instructor and is able to heal her own stunted inner child through parenting his own two girls—a happy ending she well deserves.

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Look for Kevin’s witty asides and dazzling insights throughout the issue!

Subscription Services: ELLE will, upon receipt of a complete subscription order, undertake fulfillment of that order so as to provide the first copy for delivery by the Postal Service or alternate carrier within 4–6 weeks. For customer service, changes of address, and subscription orders, log on to service.elle.com or write to Customer Service Dept., ELLE, P.O. Box 37870, Boone, IA 50037. From time to time, we make our subscriber list available to companies that sell goods and services by mail that we believe would interest our readers. If you would rather not receive such offers via postal mail, please send your current mailing label or an exact copy to: ELLE, Mail Preference Service, P.O. Box 37870, Boone, IA 50037. You can also visit preferences .hearstmags.com to manage your preferences and opt out of receiving marketing offers by e-mail. To assure quicker service, enclose your mailing label when writing to us or renewing your subscription. Renewal orders must be received at least eight weeks prior to expiration to assure continued service. Manuscripts, drawings, and other material submitted must be accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope. ELLE cannot be responsible for unsolicited material. Printed in USA. Canadian registration number 126018209RT0001. POSTMASTER: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 707.4.12.5); NONPOSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address corrections to ELLE, P.O. Box 37870, Harlan, IA 51593.

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Clockwise from top left: Nick Leary; courtesy of the designer; Devon Jarvis/Studio D (2). Throughout this issue: Chris Hemsworth photos by Frank Ockenfels

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JUNE 22–JULY 22

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July 4th dovetails with the annual new moon in Cancer, liberating you from restrictive relationships and self-imposed restraints. Calculated risks bring huge dividends, especially on the 16th, when the Sun and sanguine Mars conspire on your behalf. Bet high! On the 6th, a Mars-Venus meet-cute sets an affaire de coeur ablaze, while the 19th’s full moon helps cement the official status of a partnership. Attached? Stock your shared calendar with extracurriculars, as playtime seals your bond. On the 22nd, you’ll knuckle down at work— mercifully so, as you were about to blow the bank!

LEO (JULY 23–AUG 22) Pass the sun tea and praise the hammock! Until the 22nd, life looks too pixelated to plan anything major; in fact, you may be nursing the wounds of a recent disappointment. Supportive women offer their sturdy shoulders: Unspool in their presence— letting it out is the key to finally moving on. The first proof of renewal comes on the 11th, when ardent Venus sweeps into Leo and ignites a romantic renaissance. Then, on the 22nd, birthday season begins as the Sun blazes into your sign for a month. Splurge on something from the “self-development” category, like a seminal workshop or a lavish-yet-enriching retreat.

VIRGO (AUG 23–SEPT 22) You’re a Khloé in a sea of Kims, as the Sun lights up your affable, accessible eleventh house until the 22nd. Be purposeful with your popularity, Virgo: Corral your accomplished friends into a power posse or spearhead a community project. On the 19th, a fervid full moon scatters the rose petals and could even bring a proposal or pregnancy for some. Your efforts from early 2016 may yield admiration, even fame. But slip under the radar a bit after the 22nd, when the Sun drifts into your enchantingly esoteric twelfth house.

A meditation practice can help you connect to the muse. Enjoy the silence.

LIBRA (SEPT 23–OCT 22) The (glass) ceiling can’t hold you this month, as the Sun and your ruler, Venus, fire up your creativity and ambition. Keep business cards within reach: Connections can be made anywhere from the subway platform to the ice cream queue. Networking could even herald romance during a Mars-Venus tryst on the 6th, and midmonth, you could lock into a profitable joint venture with other go-getters. Plan a family reunion near the 19th’s full moon, or if you’re ready to relocate or refurbish, spring into action. By the 22nd, your social life robustly reboots!

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SCORPIO (OCT 23–NOV 21) No apologies, Scorpio. This July, fearlessly go for yours. White-hot Mars is speeding through your sign until August 2nd, a biennial booster pack that could launch your dreams into the stratosphere. Fortune favors the bold, so pitch, present, and propose. Just use humor to soften that scorpion sting. With the sun in your global ninth house until the 22nd, you could taste worldwide success. Traveling would indeed arouse interest from future collaborators, too, especially near the 19th’s full moon. Romantically, you’ll prove true those legends of Scorpionic sexuality— especially on the 6th, when Venus swipes right for Mars.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22–DEC 21) July’s beach-active star map wants you paddling for a wave or power walking along the shoreline.

Plunge into emotionally deep waters as well.

With Mars in your transitional twelfth house all month, you may be processing a bittersweet good-bye or an earth-shaking life passage. Reflect, but don’t isolate: An important relationship will deepen if you humbly ask for support.

On the 19th, a financially friendly full moon floods the coffers with a sale or salary hike. Set aside funds for a vacation, as the Sun’s move into Leo on the 22nd is your signal to explore a new corner of the world, avec passport.

CAPRICORN (DEC 22–JAN 19) On July 4th, a new moon in your relationship house sets off emotional fireworks. You could meet your match at a rooftop soiree or deepen your commitment to the one you adore. On the 19th, the annual full moon in Capricorn draws applause for your hard work of 2016 and ushers you into an elite cadre. Time to make that big ask; you’ve earned the right to be ballsy. The pursuit of passion intensifies after the 22nd, when the sun slinks through your erotic eighth house. The quiet ones may surprise you—both in and out of bed. Connect to your seductive powers through meditation and dance.

tionship zone. On the 19th, Saturn assists you with a drama-free talk about “our future.” In some cases, that might mean adding a longterm, uh, benefits package to a friendship.

PISCES (FEB 19–MAR 20) With the sun trailing through your pleasure-seeking fifth house until the 22nd, you have a hall pass to be a hedonist. Near the 4th, raise a margarita to Cupid, who could usher in a summer lover with a far-flung provenance or send coupled Pisces on an intrepid voyage. On the 20th, stern Saturn wags a finger at decadent Venus, blowing the whistle on the bottomless refills of, well, everything. Buzzkill alert: Productivity is your priority in the final third of the month, but the powers that be will take note of your diligence if you direct their attention toward your achievements.

ARIES (MAR 21–APR 19) On the 4th, the cozy new moon in Cancer inspires a redecorating spree, or you could find a heavenly new haven in which to hang your jute fedora. Your ruler, lusty Mars, beds down your erotic eighth house all month, putting you in minx mode. But you need more than just sex, Aries: Make that (seductively) obvious with purposeful pillow talk about the future. A career triumph pads your pockets near the full moon on the 19th, and romance spices up like a habanero when the Sun joins Venus in flamboyant Leo on the 22nd. Fame is also in the offing then, so self-promote without apology.

TAURUS (APR 20–MAY 20) Your coterie is clamoring for summer celebration time—and who better than the zodiac’s planner to pull together picnics, concerts in the park, and weekend road trips? Reserve a few slots on the calendar for one-on-ones: Passionate Mars pulses through your partnership house all month, and a simmering attraction could take off. With Venus moving into your domestic sector from the 11th on, you’ll be inspired to play host. Having a solid girl tribe is essential to your balance after the 22nd, so make time for the ladies, even if you’re head over heels in love.

GEMINI (MAY 21–JUNE 21) No one loves a bell, whistle, serif, or Swarovski crystal more than a Gemini, but until the 22nd, a strict budget AQUARIUS (JAN 20–FEB 18) Planets will is essential (le sigh). Focus on your income colhelp you wrestle your budget, diet, and schedule umn, too. Near the new moon on the 4th, a job into a solid plan. Avoid the deprivation mind- offer may land in your inbox, or you might set! You’ll find pleasure in carefully curating charm a prestigious guest at the holiday barbecue. Romantically, virile Mars plants each purchase, preparing fresh meals, “This is all superstitious you in the driver’s seat all month. The and engaging only in soul-nourishing nonsense. Now extracurriculars. Outsourcing can excuse me, I have full moon on the 19th vaults you to the to take a call lighten your load, and an eager assisapogee of eroticism, while serious Satabout a Class VI tant could appear near the 6th. Your full-torso phantasm urn helps you zero in on a keeper. After Summer of Love kicks off on the 11th, haunting a pile of the 22nd, tap the playful, creative eneronion rings gy of Leo season with concert-hopping when ardent Venus sweeps into and weekend getaways.

Leo and your committed-relaFor your daily reading from the AstroTwins, go to ELLE.com/horoscopes.

Mike Pont/WireImage

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THE DECIDERS There will be 27.3 million Hispanics eligible to vote

WHO DO HISPANICS WANT IN THE WHITE HOUSE?*

POP QUIZ: WHO ARE THE MOST PROGRESSIVE VOTERS IN AMERICA? If your answer was a Berner or a Black Lives Matter activist, it’s understandable—both groups have gotten a whole lot of attention this election cycle. Less so millennial Latinas, but check out these numbers: PERCENTAGE OF MILLENNIAL LATINAS WHO ARE MORE LIKELY TO VOTE FOR A CANDIDATE WHO SUPPORTS:

Closing the wage gap: 98% Paid family leave: 97% Making college more affordable: 92% Child-care subsidies/tax credits: 84% Protecting women’s access to birth control: 82%

PERCENTAGE WHO ARE DEMOCRAT, OR LEAN DEMOCRATIC

45% 50% MEN

NOBODY IS MORE OPTIMISTIC THAN LATINA MILLENNIALS.

While 45% were making less than $15 an hour— the largest segment of low-earners in the survey— a whopping 76% expected to be doing somewhat or much better in the next five years.

“A lot of them are firstgeneration immigrants who’ve grown up being told all their lives that America is the best place

% Rosario Dawson, cofounder of Voto Latino, speaks at a Bernie Sanders rally in March

11 %

HILLARY

TRUMP

DON’T KNOW

THERE’S A STEREOTYPE OUT THERE THAT HISPANICS ARE “NATURAL REPUBLICANS,” RIPE FOR THE PLUCKING BECAUSE OF PRESUMED CONSERVATIVE VIEWS ON ABORTION (MORE THAN HALF OF LATINOS ARE CATHOLIC).

PERCENTAGE WHO’D GET BEHIND A CANDIDATE WHO VOWS TO PROTECT ABORTION RIGHTS

% 65%

77%

during the recession,

LATINAS, ALL AGES

16 %

MILLENNIAL WOMEN, ALL RACES

WOMEN

73%

73%

incredibly Kumar

MILLENNIAL LATINAS

BOTH OF THESE THINGS CAN’T BE TRUE. 78% OF RESPONDENTS OF ALL RACES AND AGES SAID THEY’D BE LIKELY TO BACK A CANDIDATE WHO “PROVIDES A PATH TO CITIZENSHIP FOR IMMIGRANT FAMILIES” ALREADY LIVING IN THE UNITED STATES, SO YOU’D EXPECT THE SAME NUMBER WOULD NOT SUPPORT CANDIDATES WHO’D WANT TO “DEPORT ANY UNDOCUMENTED IMMIGRANT CURRENTLY LIVING HERE.” BUT NO: ONLY 39% OPPOSED DEPORTATIONS. MILLENNIAL LATINAS, HOWEVER, SEEMED CLOSER THAN OTHERS TO UNDERSTANDING THE ISSUE: 91% SAID “YES” TO A PATH FOR PEOPLE ALREADY HERE, AND 82% REJECTED DEPORTING THOSE ALREADY HERE.

DONALD TRUMP: A ONE-MAN HISPANIC NATURALIZATION, REGISTRATION, AND GET-OUT-THEDEMOCRATIC-VOTE MACHINE?

Every 30 seconds in the U.S., a Latino turns 18**, and the vast majority of them were born here and are thus citizens eligible to vote.

The challenge is to get them registered, Kumar says, though the signs are encouraging.

“Normally we have to go after people,” she says, referring to Voto Latino’s vigorous registration efforts. But 3,600 people reached out to the organization for help signing up to vote in the first few months of 2016, a very high level of interest so early in the election cycle. At the same point in 2012, only 52 people had reached out.

More potential: There are 8.8 million legal residents eligible for citizenship, which would grant them the right to vote. Naturalization applications were up 14% in the first six months of fiscal 2016.***

Getty Images (5)

this November—close to half of them millennials.

The ELLE/American Women survey reveals what’s on the minds of this key voting bloc

AQUARACER WITH DIAMONDS Cara Delevingne challenges rules. Being free-minded is her motto. Like TAG Heuer, she defies conventions and never cracks under pressure. TAGHeuer.com

ON CRUSHES

July’s devilishly funny life coach is coming to ELLE.com with a brand of self-help not for the faint of heart “I’m finally at a time where I don’t sound like a punk giving advice,” says Whitney Cummings, the model–turned–actress–turned– bona fide comedy magnate, who graduated magna cum laude with a degree in communication from Penn, to boot. “In your twenties, you make mistakes and it’s like, ‘That’s what life’s about.’ And you’re still making the same ones in your thirties and you’re like, ‘This isn’t a choice anymore; this isn’t cute.’ ” Following a whirlwind rise from unknown to ubiquitous (after years of stand-up, two Cummings-created sitcoms—the now-defunct Whitney and CBS’s ongoing 2 Broke Girls— were picked up by broadcast networks in 2010), Cummings has spent the last six years focusing on making good choices. This year, with a hilarious and cerebral stand-up special, I’m Your Girlfriend (HBO), in her rearview; a just-wrapped HBO pilot adapted from Maureen Dowd’s Are Men Necessary?; and a movie based on Louann Brizendine’s The Female Brain that she’s writing with fellow comedian and writer Neal Brennan (and directing and starring in), the 33-year-old has never been happier—or more ready to share her wisdom.

“When people tell me things I don’t want to hear, that’s usually when I grow,” she says.

“It’s like going to the gym—if you’re not feeling some burn, you’re probably not making any progress.” This month, in honor of our Women in Comedy Issue, Cummings is stepping in as ELLE’s not-your-typical life coach: Tune in to ELLE.com, where she’ll be serving up a weekly dose of tough love.—Keziah Weir

ON GHOSTING “Unless they’ve been abusive or crossed a boundary, to leave someone in the universe without an understanding of what happened is just straight-up rude. But I don’t know, with Tinder and Bumble, I think half the people are in relationships that they don’t know about.

I have boyfriends that I don’t know about.”

KICK THE STRESS “I froze my eggs. I stopped trying to force everything in my life to happen the way I had scripted it in my head.

I don’t follow models [on Instagram] anymore!

It’s all dogs and travel destinations.”

HER MANTRA “Class it up: I’m not saying wear skirts and don’t have sex on the first date. Be a human being; have a modicum of empathy.”

20/20 VISION Whitney’s hindsight advice for Young Whitney.

“1. Don’t touch your eyebrows!

Just no tweezers in the house from 2000 to 2013.

2. An extra couple of pounds makes your face look better.

Eat something.

3. In a relationship, if you’re chasing something, it doesn’t belong to you.”

ON WANDERING EYES “There’s a lot of stuff that just isn’t a choice. Guys aren’t choosing to check out the girl in front of you. It’s annoying, but he’s not falling in love with her.

It’s Pavlov; it’s an involuntary tic. It must be horrible to not be able to go down the street without looking at butts.”

JULY 11

JULY 18

JULY 25

JUST FRIENDS

WORK/LIFE BALANCE

SAVE THE DATE

Want to get out of an invitation?

Cummings’s first rule: “Anytime anything costs you money,” she says, “you don’t have to go.” Get more excuses here.

30

How to handle office competition (say, you and your work-wife are gunning for the same promotion) the Whitney way: with class.

It’s hard to play the game when the rules have been thrown out the window. Cummings walks you through the dating and hookup nitty-gritty.

ELLE.com/coach-of-the-month

From top: Scott McDermott; Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

WHITNEY CUMMINGS

“I used to think it was all about butterflies in your stomach. I run in the other direction if I feel that now, because butterflies is your amygdala saying ‘Get the fuck out of here!’ I don’t love butterflies in my stomach. That’s disgusting—it sounds like a Fear Factor episode.”

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EDITOR’S LETTER

@Robbiemyers

@Robbie_Elle

“Hey, Robbie, I need advice on breaking the glass ceiling and becoming a real Ghostbuster…for a friend!”

Amy Schumer recently deadpanned to Jimmy Fallon, “It’s an exciting time for women in comedy!,” as if imparting the oldest bit of news in the universe, no doubt because she’s been asked to comment on the “state” of women in comedy ad nauseam. We’ve indeed come a long way since Christopher Hitchens argued nine years ago in Vanity Fair that women would never be as funny as men—because evolution demanded that men had to learn to be funny for the species to survive, as it was the only surefire way to guarantee attention from the opposite sex. A year later, he gave himself credit for the deluge of brilliant—and pulchritudinous—female comedians who’d come to dominate TV and film: “What has been the achievement of my essay?” he asked. “It’s been to make sexier women try harder to amuse me.”

Har de har. What is funny is that when you Google “men in comedy,” the first thing that pops up is Buzzfeed’s “The 50 Hottest Men in Comedy.” (Though I’m not sure what algorithm was used to come up with this list, because clearly human females were not involved: No Andy Samberg? No Chris Rock? You’re telling me that Jon Stewart, Jimmy Fallon, Jack Black, Steve Carell, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers—interviewed by us on page 156—and Will Ferrell, who’s finally achieved his lifelong goal of becoming an investigative journalist—here, in the pages of ELLE; see his interview with cover girl Kristen Wiig on page 128—are not at least as hot as, say, Aziz Ansari?

At number 24? We love him, by the way.) But if you Google “women in comedy,” the first hit is for WomenInComedy.org, a “nonprofit 501(c)(3) tax-exempt organization run by volunteers and donations… created to benefit women in the comedy industry.” Its mission? “Educating, empowering, and connecting powerful, ambitious, hilarious, and talented women in the comedy industry through resources that foster their professional development and advancement.”

It’s a funny moment, for sure, when male comedians are being 34

ranked on their hotness and female comedians are institutionalizing their strengths. At ELLE, this is our first-ever Women in Comedy Issue, perfectly timed to coincide with the all-female-lead remake of one of the biggest, most-beloved comedies ever. And we’ve got the stars of the movie—Leslie Jones, Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, and Kate McKinnon—each gracing her own cover in homage to this most holy day, July 15, 2016, the global release date of…drum roll…Ghostbusters!

Cue the Ray Parker Jr. It’s all so ripe for parody (can we get a hologram of the late Hitchens genuflecting to Melissa McCarthy’s chic Brian Atwood pumps?)— we can almost hear the WomenInComedy.org website crashing under a wave of suggestions, but not before we have an excellent time.

For this issue, we’ve partnered with the site to survey 100 working comics about what it’s like to be funny for a living. We caught up with superstars Sarah Silverman, Mindy Kaling, Maya Rudolph, and Chelsea Handler on what it’s like to be them. We put Wanda Sykes, Margaret Cho, Broad City’s Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer, and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s Rachel Bloom all together in a room, pushed “record,” and got back a no-holds-barred look inside the business that is women in comedy 2016. And we shot 14 comedians primed for apostolic succession as well as the divine Tina Fey with her Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt cast, getting the all-around WIC MVP to open up about making magic with Carol Kane, Ellie Kemper, and Jane Krakowski. And, hey, Chris/“Kevin,” you GB wannabe—come visit ELLE’s casting couch; we’ll see what we can do for you.

Carlee Her second chance at life

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top left: The city’s ornate architecture; Osorio at Saint Isaac’s Cathedral; Mansarda’s sunlit interior; a Fabergé egg; gardens at the Catherine Palace; caviar; Four Seasons Lion Palace hotel room with a view of Saint Isaac’s

Aquazzura designer Edgardo Osorio heads north for a cultural excursion (and some vodka and caviar) in Saint Petersburg Since launching Aquazzura STAY: The Four Seasons in 2011, Edgardo Osorio has received recognition for pieces that walk the line between footwear and works of art. In his downtime, the 30-year-old native of Colombia seeks design inspiration from foreign locales.

Most recently, he set his sights on Saint Petersburg: “It’s one of those incredible cities that really leave an impression on you,” Osorio says. Before packing his bags, he dove into books about the city’s history by Pulitzer Prize–winning biographer Robert K. Massie. “Read about Catherine the Great, Peter the Great, and Russian culture before you go so that you get to experience it personally,” he says. Indeed, when Osorio returned to his Florence home base, he created a fall 2016 collection that included a rif on the cowboy boot with embroidery that’s a nod to the city’s opulent architecture.

36

Lion Palace. Ofering views of Aleksandrovsky Garden and a stone’s throw from the Hermitage—one of the world’s great art museums—the hotel, a former royal palace, is the deinition of luxe digs, with rooms starting at $410 per night. The lobby’s interior has been restored to its original 1820s grandeur, and the four-level Luceo Spa ofers ultraindulgent treatments

that include gold-extract body scrubs. “Ask for a room with a terrace overlooking Saint Isaac’s Cathedral,” Osorio says.

EAT: While the designer reports that caviar and vodka was his go-to dinner

by Piuarch studio, the

oices, the ultrasleek restaurant features a and sushi dishes.

SEE: Adding “museum a no-brainer for Osorio. At the gigantic Hermitage—it occupies more than 2 million square feet— he concentrated on the ornate Russian interior decoration of the nineteenth to early twentieth centuries. (The museum also boasts one of the world’s largest collections of Western European art.) Also on the agenda: a visit to the Fabergé Museum and a well-worth-it, 30-minute drive south of central Saint Petersburg to the Catherine Palace, the former home of Empress Elizabeth that’s known for its Amber Room, decked out in amber panels, gold leaf, and mirrors. After the palace, the designer made his way to Saint

can watch the sun set while walking up the stairs.”

PARTY:

After dinner one night, it was of to the River Neva, where, at 2 A.M., Osorio met up with longtime friends who live in the city for a riverboat tour. The group got to take in the White Nights of Saint Petersburg, a phenomenon that occurs from late May to early July, when the sun never fully sets due to the city’s latitude. “It was like Paris meets Venice,” he says. Several riverboat companies ofer such cruises—you can book tours in advance for as little as $10.

—James Michael Vela

Clockwise from top left: Getty Images/Westend61; Getty Images; courtesy of the subject; courtesy of Mansarda; Sovfoto/UIG via Getty Images; Getty Images/Moment RM; Getty Images/Alloy; courtesy of the Four Seasons Lion Palace

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Women in Comedy

From left: Sykes, Cho, Jacobson, Glazer, and Bloom

IN ON THE JOKE Stand-up legends Wanda Sykes and Margaret Cho sit down with three newly minted comedy stars, Broad City’s Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s Rachel Bloom, and talk idols, feminism, and how to hit the trolls where it hurts

38

ELLE: Who was the person who first made you

want to be a comedian?

WANDA SYKES: Moms Mabley—Jackie Mabley. Didn’t give a damn about her parents, and she actually was making herself look drab, like this old woman.

MARGARET CHO: Joan Rivers. She had so much power over the audience, and when she’d say, “Can we talk?,” they knew what that was. She’d be like our mom’s age or your grandma’s age—and she was so dirty.

I went to see her many times over the years; I couldn’t believe how filthy she was—I’m

pretty fucking dirty and I was really embarrassed. She proved to me that women could be funny, and it was powerful.

ABBI JACOBSON: I was big into Gilda Radner.

I would watch Gilda on Comedy Central— stuff she did in, like, ’75. She was using who she was; these characters were offshoots of her.

RACHEL BLOOM: As a young girl, if you do something funny—especially if you’re Jewish—someone says, “Oh, have you seen Gilda Radner?”

ILANA GLAZER: This is so dur, but I watched a ton of Lucy when I was a kid, and her phases— PHOTOGRAPHED BY JEAN FRANCOIS CAMPOS

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Roundtable the [city apartment] set; then they’d move to the country; and then there’s no more Ricky.

It was such a downward spiral.

SYKES: And The Lucy Show, when she was working at the bank.

GLAZER: Yeah! I went back as a teenager and watched the show, and it was so sexist and gross. Ricky’s like, “Shut up, you stupid bitch.” It was so painful to watch.

JACOBSON: But also, isn’t she the boss?

GLAZER: Another one is Whoopi. She was so animated and genderless and ageless—this almost animated figure. She was dramatic, too. She goes from being an actor to being her hilarious self, seemingly so effortlessly.

BLOOM: She spoke at my Tisch [NYU] graduation and was like, “You’re going to be broke.

A lot of you are going to quit.” It was great, but I was so depressed. Also, this is a little different, but my grandpa was an amateur stand-up comic when I was growing up. He was this old dude from Brooklyn, and all of his jokes were clearly stolen from a book. I’d go with him to perform at convalescent homes around Southern California. There was this one joke he had where a woman got glued to a toilet seat and put a cowboy hat on top of her vagina, and the police came and she says, “What do you think, police?” And they’re like, “I don’t know, but that cowboy’s a goner.” Or he’d have me come up onstage with him to deliver a punch line: “Why is your nose in the middle of your face?” “Because it’s the scenter.”

GLAZER: We went on Ellen yesterday for the first time. We geeked out because of her stand-up. We were trying to redo her bits. Her stand-up was amazing. That special— BLOOM: The HBO special, right? With the Go-Gurt?

CHO: I used to open for Ellen. I see Ellen, and I’m like, Oh, I’m on in five minutes! You never lose the connection from what you had before. You’ll see as you grow. It’s a weird business: A lot of the actresses who were around when I started, I don’t know where they are.

Comics stick around.

SYKES: Good comics stick around. There are people who have TV shows that might be successful, but comics can’t really fake it. If you say, “Hey, I love what you guys are doing— you’re funny,” then you’re in. It’s legit.

GLAZER: Comedy is legit. Nicki Minaj is like,

“I’m not lucky, I’m blessed.” [Hollywood] is obviously so fake, but then comedy is this little carve-out of sincerity. I love it. I get to be funny and do this.

BLOOM: A year ago I thought I had a dead pilot, and I was broke.

GLAZER: You were at Showtime first?

BLOOM: They passed, and I went back to writing at [Comedy Central’s animated half-hour show] Robot Chicken, and then CW picked up Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It was all really unexpected. The show was dead—I mourned the show—and the reason I’m at this table right now is not because I got more talented.

It’s because one person at a network made a decision. Nine times out of 10, you don’t have that one person.

JACOBSON: You had the one person, but also you write and develop and make this amazing show, so give yourself some credit.

BLOOM: I give myself no credit. I think about all the talented people I know who are still waiting for that break. I’ve seen their UCB shows or their Web series.

GLAZER: They didn’t give you the show; you made the show.

SYKES: Whether you have a show or not, you can still be somewhere being funny.

ELLE: Is anything off-limits in your work?

BLOOM: Hurting other people, using my personal knowledge of somebody. I’ll tell you anything about myself. I will show you my bare butthole. When it comes to selling out someone else, because other people have boundaries that I don’t, that’s the one thing.

ELLE: Are other celebrities fair game?

SYKES: I’m like, If you do something dumb, I’ll write about it. If you put something out there, to me it’s like you’re kind of asking for it.

JACOBSON: We talk a lot about celebrities on the show.

SYKES: Will and Jada.

JACOBSON: Yes! Someone just told us that Jada watched the show, and I freaked out.

CHO: I think she’d love it.

JACOBSON: It’s what we hope would be true about her. We fucking love them. Their openness. It’s like a through line of the show. It’s only out of love for them. We did this JonBenét Ramsey joke that was a little touchy.

It was kinda making fun of the Beanie Baby culture: They made these tributes to peo-

“Good comics stick around.

Comics can’t really fake it.

It’s legit.”

—WANDA SYKES

40

ple who’ve died. They had a Princess Diana Beanie Baby, so we were like, We’re going to have the JonBenét Beanie Baby.

BLOOM: I tried to get the Princess Diana Beanie Baby for the pilot of Crazy ExGirlfriend because we wanted Rebecca to have one. Beanie Babies did not give their consent.

JACOBSON: We had to make the Beanie Baby, construct a whole thing that looked enough not like a Beanie Baby.

CHO: I think if somebody does something stupid, it’s okay to make fun of them, but [celebrities] have also gotten very conscious about social media, kind of like the Catholic Church in the 1500s. You have to adhere to a certain morality, a certain level of decorum, or else you’ll be punished and labeled. It’s all the trolling, but it’s also the gossip sites.

SYKES: What gets me is when celebrities aren’t allowed to have an opinion on anything political. There’s the whole “shut up and sing” thing. That’s pretty much our job. If you make an opinion, Hey, hey.

JACOBSON: It’s really scary on Twitter, too.

I’m like a cutter, because I look at the responses. People will say so many nice things, and I’ll find the one or two who say I suck.

BLOOM: The night the show premiered, I was getting such beautiful messages, and then one person said in all caps, “YOU AREN’T TALENTED”—it cuts right to the fear of every artist. I don’t remember any compliments from that night. I don’t remember the reviews. I remember that one person. What is that?

CHO: That’s part of being an artist; you have to be that sensitive. I’m really bad with trolls because I have a lot of really intense friends who are not necessarily doing things so legally. If I get trolled, [my friends will send me] an e-mail with the person’s Social Security number, phone number, pictures of his family, his business, his spouse. I see this person in his totality, and I feel so bad. I shouldn’t have that power. I have done some stuff where I’ll fuck with a troll, and I’ll say their real name in a tweet or what their business is. I stopped doing that because it’s so fucked up.

SYKES: I love that!

CHO: But it’s also that they’re people. They’re not sane people; they’re people who are so miserable, they think your life is so good because you’re creating and expressing yourself, and you’re up there and people love you. And they want to take that. It’s like theft—they took your joy. You can’t allow that to happen because you worked so hard for your joy.

SYKES: What if you do it, like, a little pas-

Styled by Sarah Schussheim; produced by Brandon Zagha. Margaret Cho: hair by Toni Chavez for R + Co; makeup by Tamah for Lancôme; for additional styling credits, see Shopping Guide

sive-aggressively: “Well, I’m sorry, you feel like that, Tony…. I’ll be praying for you and your wife, Carol…. Oh, and by the way, happy birthday.” [Laughs all around] ELLE: Do you take revenge on high school bullies?

CHO: I became a comedian because I didn’t want to be bullied anymore. Onstage I was safe. Now on Facebook I have all these “friends” who used to bully me, and they’re like, “We’re so proud! We love you!” They come to shows and want to take a picture, and they’re like, “Don’t you remember us?” And I’m like, “I’m sorry, I don’t.” And I feel bad, but I feel good.

BLOOM: I was bullied a lot in middle school, and my bullies have since all apologized. One came to a live show two years ago. She was like, “Can I take you out for coffee?” She was four years sober but had been doing a lot of porn, and she wanted to get out of porn— GLAZER: Damn.

BLOOM: We were talking about middle school, and she was like, “I’m sorry the way I was; I was unenlightened.” I said, “You know it just didn’t help me—I was so unhappy.” And she said, “Oh, I was so unhappy, too.” That coffee date really humanized every bully for me because I saw in it this snaking tail of pain.

GLAZER: Wanda, do you get any hate?

[Sykes nods.]

GLAZER: How do you deal with it? That’s surprising to me.

SYKES: I block it. Like you said, the one thing that you remember was bad. It’s hate on so many levels. It can be race; it can be because I’m a woman or I’m a lesbian. Especially after the [2009 White House] Correspondents’ Dinner, when I did the Rush Limbaugh joke. [Editor’s note: She compared Limbaugh to Osama bin

Laden, saying he’d have been a 9/11 hijacker had he not been “so strung out on OxyContin he missed his flight.”] It got to handwritten letters being delivered at different venues I’d perform at, like, “I’m going to rape you.” It was like, Okay, I need a big dude to travel with me.

CHO: It gets to this level of bomb threats.

They have to bring in a bomb dog.

BLOOM: Is that a thing that happens when you’re famous, or is that a thing that happens when you’re a woman?

SYKES: Kinda political jokes.

GLAZER: Did one joke ever have a clear impact where you were like, “I’m going to step off this for a second”?

CHO: No, the worst is that I did a joke at a Move On thing. It was right after 9/11 and people were really into George Bush. And I said, “George Bush is not Hitler. He would be if he applied himself.”

[Laughter] CHO: Somebody threw a poisoned steak over my yard, and my dog ate it and almost died.

I didn’t feel safe in my house…. I have nightmares about that Correspondents’ Dinner; I never want to do that.

SYKES: But you can’t say no. It was President Obama’s first one, and then also being invited to do it? I’m lesbian, married. I have to.

BLOOM: How do you guys deal with hecklers?

SYKES: Fortunately I don’t get them now.

But if there’s someone who’s had too much to drink and wants to be a part of the show, that’s harder than a heckler. Because this person is enjoying himself, but he’s just being disruptive. So it’s: How can I shut them up?

But I don’t want to be the schoolmarm—“Stay in your seat!”—and go back to being funny. I try to get the audience to do it for me.

CHO: I just scream, “Get the fuck out!” And I will stand offstage and make them leave.

GLAZER: Do people watch you like this?

[Places cell phone in front of her face] SYKES: I’m shutting that down, especially right now because I’m getting ready to do my [Epix] special. I have to hire an extra guy to really watch the room.

GLAZER: Right, someone could film it.

SYKES: It’s weird, because you’re not even free to just be creative now. You’re canvassing the room like, There’s a phone; there’s a phone. You’re in your head about: I can’t even try this joke.

ELLE: Tina Fey recently said it’s a terrible time for women in comedy, since men are still making money for garbage and women are hustling and doing amazing work for less.

BLOOM: I think it’s a great time. Now women in comedy is a trendy topic, and people are hungering for women’s voices in a way that they haven’t before, which felt like it really started with Bridesmaids. That suddenly made it cool in pop culture. It feels like being a woman now gives you a slight advantage.

JACOBSON: I would probably suspect not moneywise, though.

BLOOM: Yeah, it wasn’t until I read Lean In that I was like, “Oh, I’m supposed to ask for a raise?” Thank God I have representation, because the idea of being like, “Thanks for the job, but this is what I want”—I’ve realized it is not in me to do that.

JACOBSON: Women right now, we can’t make mediocre [stuff]. Men can and do make tons of mediocre stuff, but I feel like women…

SYKES: …Sofia Vergara?

GLAZER: That is an accomplishment for women, honestly.

BLOOM: If you’re a woman and you make mediocre shit, people suddenly say women aren’t funny. If a man makes a bad thing, it’s that one dude made that one bad thing. Also, you’ll see articles about different female comics where it’s like, “Step Off Tina Fey! Back Up Amy Poehler!”

Continued on page 154 41

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Insider

FUNNY HA-HA! Who could imagine that improv comedy would prepare anyone for a career in fashion? But thanks to a coterie of funny fashion folk, I’ve lucked into a métier where I kill. By Anne Slowey 44

My introduction to improv was as clichéd as a Borscht Belt punch line. One night, during my sophomore year at the University of Notre Dame, my roommate, who was majoring in Russian language and theater, was going to audition for a production of Wendy Wasserstein’s Uncommon Women and Others. She asked if I wanted to tag along.

I’d never acted before, other than the time I portrayed a duck in the second grade play, but as it was an unseasonably warm Indian summer evening, I decided to join her. Our class was the ninth since the university had gone coed. Title IX had passed into law about a decade earlier, but women were still outnumbered close to four to one, hence the need to share a theater department with

Saint Mary’s, the then all-girls college (and onetime finishing school) located a 30-minute stroll from our campus.

My roommate walked away from the audition empty-handed, but I was cast in the part of Muffet di Nicola, a vulnerable yet optimistic coed caught between the forces of second-wave feminism, ambiguous career ambitions, and the pressure to find a husband before graduation. It was an uncanny case of typecasting. On opening night, I was terrified, sure I’d forget my lines, but I didn’t miss a mark, and was truly shocked when my monologue got laughs. I wasn’t trying to be funny; I was just trying not to screw up.

Looking back, I shouldn’t have been surprised that I had a flair for performance. I had taken my duck role quite seriously, to the point of insisting upon going nude under my costume—a white sheet—because, I told my classmates, ducks don’t wear clothes. Clear evidence that I was a budding Method actor.

It was around that age that I also first demonstrated an interest in fashion. I was fond of making pronouncements, and on the way to the Original Pancake House after church one Sunday, I declared to my family that I wanted to pose in Playboy. (The funniest bit in the whole scenario, of course, was that I outed my father for his stash of under-the-bed contraband.) I remember describing in detail what the picture would look like: I’d be wearing an oversize men’s shirt buttoned just so.

My parents laughed so hard, my father had to pull off the road. Indignant, I responded with a line worthy of any future fashion critic: “You just don’t get it!” I yelled. “It would make a great picture.”

Following Uncommon Women, one of my castmates, Adri Trigiani—a gregarious girl with a mop of unruly hair, not unlike my own, and a laugh best described as something between a guffaw and a foghorn— asked me to join her nine-woman improv troupe, the Outcasts. Once again, I thought, Why not? I didn’t really fit in with the conservative ethos at Notre Dame, and despite the upsides of that four-to-one ratio, Saint Mary’s insular campus offered a refuge from the distractions of the male gaze, not all of which were welcome. We put together a few skits—my favorite was playing a carrot in a stew; I’d stiffly fall onto the stage and roll around, bumping into other vegetables as if partaking in a round of bumper cars— but I thrilled at true im“So what? I prov, where you were left was a secretary who became a to your wits. In one skit, movie character the audience would sug- who became a tiny talking photograph gest topics—politics, say, in a fashion or laxatives. Adri would magazine.

Where’s my assign one to each of us, feature story?” then orchestrate our off-

Opposite page: Michael Donovan/thelicensingproject.com. This page: Getty Images (9)

the-cuff rants in a symphony of non sequitur crescendos and allegros.

One night at a performance at Zahm Hall, a men’s dorm on the North Quad, a student yelled out a topic: Sex. Adri, to whom I’d confided every gory detail of my comings and goings, wasted no time thrusting her baton in my direction. At Catholic Notre Dame, sex was ostensibly verboten and guilt reigned supreme. Taking a perplexed anthropologist’s stance, I mined the hypocrisies of being a woman looking to get laid at a school whose pretensions were at once square and frustrating. My floodgates open, I raced through a litany of topics, from tampons to intercourse to oral sex. There was a moment when I wondered if I should pull back, but that quickly passed. Funny or die!

The guys in the audience were laughing so hard that when I hit upon the increase in demand for sex toys thanks to all the human dildos we girls had to suffer, several fell backward off their folding chairs. If I had to make a list of life’s best moments, this would be one of my top 10.

When I moved to New York after college, I had set my sights on working in film or experimental theater. I rejoined the Outcasts, who had also relocated to the city, for a couple of years. We split the house to play shows at cabaret clubs such as Horn of Plenty, Manhattan Punch Line, and Top of the Vesuvio. Eventually, Adri got a job writing and producing for The Cosby Show, then went on to publish several successful novels, including Big Stone Gap, which she directed in 2014 as a feature film starring Ashley Judd, Whoopi Goldberg, and Jane Krakowski, among others. After a few years of working as everything from an indie film director’s assistant to a beauty editor to a fashion show producer—there was even a grad school stint as a cashier at the Sound Factory during the tenure of legendary DJ Frankie Knuckles—I landed a job as an editor at a fashion magazine. And it stuck.

Though I occasionally still dream of a career in comedy, I have instead made merry with the many funny—yes, genuinely funny—people who work in fashion. In this lavish and often ridiculous world, my improv background has served me well. Editors may look stern in the front row, but there’s nothing harder than maintaining one’s poker face at a train wreck of a show while your neighbor hilariously narrates wicked thought bubbles in your ear. It’s like sitting in the front pew at church trying not to laugh while your sibling pokes you in the rib. (How else could one survive 20 years of twice-yearly fashion months?) And let’s face it, there’s no better icebreaker than a good one-liner; armed with that, you can hold your own,

Bon mots of the chic and famous

“THE BIKINI IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING SINCE THE ATOM BOMB.”—Diana Vreeland whether you’re thrust into Valentino “GIRLS DO NOT Garavani’s gilded world of pugs-runDRESS FOR BOYS. amok and garden parties galore or THEY DRESS FOR Karl Lagerfeld’s round-the-globe tours THEMSELVES AND, steeped in geographic history and couOF COURSE, EACH turier tricks.

OTHER. IF GIRLS My improv training also endowed DRESSED FOR me with the ability to joust, beg, and BOYS, THEY’D JUST push my way, by hook or by crook, WALK AROUND into events long after the doors have NAKED AT closed despite being on the list. WithALL TIMES.” out that, I might have missed the —Betsey Johnson private performance that Lagerfeld arranged with Amy Winehouse at a Milanese nightclub or Donatella Versace’s VIP concerts put on by her good friend, the late, great Prince. And when fashion itself became fodder for TV, I was right there—or rather, my portrayal of a pastiche, clichéd version of every fashion dragon I’ve encountered was there—playing a judge on Project Runway and, later, an editrix on ELLE’s reality competition, Stylista. They call it parody, in case ya didn’t know.

But beyond making —Alber Elbaz my job more fun over the years—not every fashion “STYLE MAKES person, I assure you, has hailed a ladder enYOU FEEL gine full of firemen to get a lift down Fifth GREAT Avenue to the Metropolitan Museum of Art BECAUSE IT ball—I think it’s my comedic skill set that TAKES YOUR has allowed me to find kinship with a group MIND OFF of intelligent, quick-witted folks in a world THE FACT that at times prides itself far too much on THAT YOU’RE superficial values. Fashion is usually depictGOING ed as an industry of underfed Vulcans who TO DIE.” send death rays out of their eyes to people —Isaac Mizrahi they deem not chic. But it’s not true. Fashion people are serious about their work, but often seriously funny—and fun. You’ve got to have a sense of humor to survive. I’m a comedian with good taste. So sue me.

“I’VE ALWAYS SAID FASHION IS LIKE ROAST CHICKEN: YOU DON’T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT TO KNOW IT’S DELICIOUS.”

“I DON’T WANT A POLITICIAN WHO’S THINKING ABOUT FASHION FOR EVEN ONE MILLISECOND. IT’S THE SAME AS MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS. THE IDEA OF A PERSON IN A COMME DES GARÇONS HUMPBACK DRESS GIVING ME A COLONOSCOPY IS JUST NOT GROOVY.”

“I’M VERY MUCH DOWN TO EARTH. JUST NOT THIS EARTH.” —Karl Lagerfeld

“MEN TELL ME THAT I’VE SAVED THEIR MARRIAGES. IT COSTS THEM A FORTUNE IN SHOES, BUT IT’S CHEAPER THAN A DIVORCE.” —Manolo Blahnik

“MY BEST-WORST IDEA WAS A MEN’S BODYSUIT IN THE FORM OF A WHITE TAILORED SHIRT. IT BOMBED.” —Michael Kors

“MY STYLE IS NOT THAT BIG. I WEAR HEELS, TIGHT PANTS, AND I WEAR DIAMONDS.” —Donatella Versace

—Simon Doonan

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Styled by Yashua Simmons (hair by Fernando Torrent at L’Atelier for Bumble and bumble; makeup by Christian McCulloch at Tim Howard Management for Dolce & Gabbana; manicure by Gina Edwards at Kate Ryan Inc. for Dior Beauty; casting by Sisi Chonco at Zan Casting; model: Antonina V. at IMG)

Printed-latex polyamide dress, $750, leather corset, $1,790, brass wire choker, $850, cuffs, $650 each, leather and brass lock pendant necklace, $650, calfskin pumps, $890, all, LOEWE, collection at Bergdorf Goodman, NYC. Diamond and rose gold bracelet, DE GRISOGONO, price on request. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Tortoise, diamond, ruby, sapphire, turquoise, and gold charm necklace, RENEE LEWIS, price on request, at select Barneys New York stores nationwide

1

Jewelry designers chime in on their favorite talismans

“I hold my pet pendants very close to my heart.

I have one of my labradoodle, Teddy.”

—Irene Neuwirth Crystal quartz, diamond, and rose gold charm, price on request, for special order, visit ireneneuwirth.com

THE LOOK Pearl-embroidered dress, GUCCI, $4,800. Pearl and gold earring, DAVID YURMAN, $2,200 (for pair).

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“The key opens the charm to reveal a secret compartment. I’ve worn mine with a love note from my husband or my daughters.”

—Monica Rich Kosann Gold and diamond charm, $5,500, visit monicarich kosann.com Alex John Beck (styled by Yashua Simmons; hair by Fernando Torrent at L’Atelier for Bumble and bumble; makeup by Christian McCulloch at Tim Howard Management for Dolce & Gabbana; manicure by Gina Edwards at Kate Ryan Inc. for Dior Beauty; casting by Sisi Chonco at Zan Casting; model: Antonina V. at IMG); all jewelry: courtesy of the designers; Dolce & Gabbana dress: Don Penny/Studio D (styled by Jesse Liebman for R.J. Bennett Represents); Marc Jacobs jacket: Devon Jarvis/Studio D (styled by Anita Salerno at R.J. Bennett Represents); remaining images: courtesy of the designers; for details, see Shopping Guide

Embellished-leather handbag, SAINT LAURENT, $2,990, at Saint Laurent, NYC

Pin-embellished wool dress, DOLCE & GABBANA, $6,995, at select Dolce & Gabbana boutiques nationwide

“Historically a symbol for longevity, this emerald turtle locket was inspired by my travels to the Galápagos and a deep love for aquatic life.”—Temple St. Clair Emerald, diamond, and gold locket, $3,200, visit templestclair.com

Embroidered cotton denim jacket, MARC JACOBS, $695, visit marcjacobs.com

Embellished-leather flat, AQUAZZURA, $850, collection at net-a-porter.com

THE LOOK

“The clin d’oeil (‘twinkle of an eye’) is protective, spiritual, and yet a nod to complicity.”—MarieHélène de Taillac Moonstone and gold charm, $790, at MarieHélène de Taillac, NYC

Jacket, $5,695, dress, $3,175, jewel pins, $345–$395 each, creepers, $1,795, all, ALEXANDER MCQUEEN, at Alexander McQueen, NYC. Necklace, MESSIKA, $2,190.

Heart brooch, BELADORA, $7,150. Rings, both, DE GRISOGONO, prices on request. Socks, FALKE, $14.

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GRAPHIC CONTENT Heritage monograms get punk’d with optical stripes and micro studs EDITED BY MARIA DUEÑAS JACOBS

Svend Lindbaek (prop styling by Peter Tran for Art Department)

Crystal-embellished patent leather ankle boot, GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI DESIGN, $1,850, at Giuseppe Zanotti Design boutiques nationwide.

Calfskin handbag, LOUIS VUITTON, $4,050, visit louisvuitton.com

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Crystal pendant on metal chain, LANVIN, $1,695, at Lanvin, NYC

CHARM SCHOOL Pearls, grosgrain, and the sweetest of hearts—let the season’s delightfully girly accessories put a spell on you 52

Leather handbag, GUCCI, $3,800, visit gucci.com

Svend Lindbaek (prop styling by Peter Tran for Art Department)

Embellished-lambskin grosgrain flat, CHANEL, $1,050, at Chanel boutiques nationwide

SNAKES ON A CHAIN Bulgari continues its tradition of creating serpent-inspired masterpieces with a new high-jewelry collection and a corresponding art exhibit

54

Jewelry, from left: Platinum, diamond, and emerald pendant necklace; white gold, diamond, and emerald bracelet, both, BULGARI, prices on request, visit bulgari.com Model Veruschka shot by Gian Paolo Barbieri in 1975

the serpent wasn’t lost on Bulgari. Though the storied jewelry house, founded in 1884, technically did not begin experimenting with the motif until the late 1940s, the result—its blockbuster Serpenti timepiece, with its bejeweled, beady-eyed watch face and coiling band—would make the house practically synonymous with serpentine baubles. In the ensuing years, Bulgari would produce chokers with enamel scales, handbags with slithering “tubogas” handles (picture the lexible construction of an adjustable shower hose), and glittering cufs with winding metal bands.

The Serpenti would charm another woman rife with contradictions, Elizabeth Taylor, whose Cleopatra costar and ifth (and sixth!) husband Richard Burton once joked that the only Italian Taylor managed to learn during ilming on location in Rome was Bulgari.

Today, the house continues its rich tradition with a 21-piece high-jewelry collection, which debuts this month. Unlike previous interpretations, USA 19-82 by Keith Haring, 1982

the latest pieces focus primarily on the head of the snake rather than its body, for a result Bulgari Creative Direc- Esclave de tor Lucia Silvestri calls la Pretresse Erté, “more cerebral” (liter- by 1919 ally and iguratively). To celebrate their launch, Bulgari commissioned the recent exhibit SerpentiForm: Snake Through Art, Jewellery and Design at Rome’s Palazzo Braschi museum. The show featured a diverse collection of 32 masterpieces—from gilded snake bracelets dating back to irst century B.C. Pompeii to a truly haunting mirror installation created by British artist Mat Collishaw in 2013, which melds the viewer’s relection with a video loop of slithering black creatures.

Good news for those who missed the show: The house also released a corresponding book, The Serpent in Art, out now from Canvas. It’s the perfect gift for the woman who embraces her contradictions—and her diamonds.

—Amanda FitzSimons

Clockwise from top left: courtesy of the designer; G.P. Barbieri; courtesy of the designer (3)

About her subjects, nineteenth-century British monarch Queen Victoria once famously remarked, “The important thing is not what they think of me, but what I think of them.”

Indeed, this was a woman who did not put a high premium on being “understood.” She championed new disciplines, such as photography, yet opposed public education for the working class. She was arguably the most powerful person (let alone woman) of her day, but was no friend to the nascent women’s rights movement.

It’s itting, then, that when Victoria wed Prince Albert in 1840—incidentally, she proposed to him—the ring she chose featured a striking emerald in a gold setting welded to resemble the head of a snake. (The piece would spark a craze for snake-shaped jewelry throughout Victorian England.) Like its owner, the serpent is a igure steeped in ambiguity.

Thanks to Adam and Eve, we readily associate it with corruption, but the snake hasn’t always been such a bad guy. A brief rundown of its meaning in various traditions includes: royalty (ancient Egypt); the eternal life force (Hinduism); fertility (Native American Hopi); health (ancient Rome); knowledge (Celtic); and good luck (ancient China). And the snake has always been a prominent ixture in art— whether scheming in Renaissance portraiture or joyously sprawling across ancient Chinese block prints and graphic Keith Haring murals.

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-

MAISON RABIH KAYROUZ

by Rabih Kayrouz

AGE: 42 PROVENANCE:

Mount Lebanon, Lebanon CV: Kayrouz enrolled at Paris’s prestigious Chambre Syndicale de la Couture Parisienne at only 17, then trained in the workshops of Chanel and Dior, making a name for himself in haute couture circles before returning to Beirut, where he gained a rep for sculptural formalwear.

FRENCH TWIST: Now back in the City of Light, Kayrouz is focused on sleek yet practical ready-to-wear with the occasional surrealistic touch—like a stiff blouse cleverly tacked to the front of a garment rather than worn as a shirt.

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This page, clockwise from top right: Olivia Frølich; Imaxtree.com (4); Arnaud Lajeunie.

Opposite page, clockwise from top right: Wilkosz & Way; Amy Troost (2); Yuuki Yamamoto.

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VEJAS

by Vejas Kruszewski

AGE: 19 PROVENANCE: Montreal CV: In two years, self-taught Toronto-

based designer Kruszewski has gone from showing his gender-fluid designs (modeled here by pal Hari Nef) on Tumblr to showing at Paris Fashion Week.

INTERSTELLAR: Kruszewski, who explored bulbous shapes for fall, aims to make familiar silhouettes “a bit alien”—say, a moto with zippers removed and an exaggerated yoke added. Nordstrom and Opening Ceremony are already on board.

FACETASM

by Hiromichi Ochiai

AGE: 38 PROVENANCE: Tokyo CV: After graduating from

Japan’s Bunka Fashion College, Ochiai developed a cult following for his label, founded in 2007. Now, thanks to a push from Dover Street Market, he’s courting an international audience.

FOUND IN TRANSLATION:

The label’s name comes from facet, and the designer, a master tailor who looks to the street for influence, says he hopes to show the many sides of his home city—big and busy, but also filled with Zen moments—through subtly tweaked bomber jackets and wide-leg patchwork denim.

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ABOUT A GIRL

As the nostalgia for ’90s grit continues to take hold, Anna Sui re-creates her greatest hits for Opening Ceremony.

Chokers and baby doll dresses?

That’s just the beginning.

By Alex Frank

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Model Jamie Bochert in an Anna Sui for Opening Ceremony slipdress with the designer

On the fashion front, the homespun, DIY feeling of ’90s icon Susan Cianciolo, whose home ec–ish, deconstructed women’s wear blended art, music, and fashion together with her line Run (and who collaborated with Sonic Youth’s Kim Gordon on her X-Girl streetwear line), is inspiring young brands like Telfar and Eckhaus Latta. Meanwhile, the girly, confident, and boho styles of Cianciolo contemporaries like M.R.S. and Magda Berliner are being reimagined for the online era at Nasty Gal and in Coachella-themed H&M collections.

“Somebody came to me recently and said, ‘Anna, there’s a GIF going around of Linda, Naomi, and Christy on the runway,’ and they’re in my baby doll dresses,” Sui says. “My niece, who’s at Harvard now, has one of my yellow jackets—she took it from her mom’s closet. It’s kind of exciting to see that it’s still relevant.”

Right on cue, Opening Ceremony, the ne plus ultra of cool-kid boutiques, asked Sui to rerelease a series of exact replicas of her early hits, including a leopard-print rabbit fur coat, delicate printed dresses, ringer tees splashed with her brand name, and, yes, those fateful chokers. “As a teenager in [Sui’s] period, you’d go to fetish shops and mix it with children’s stores—which is where the birth of the baby tee came from—vintage stores, and athletic stores,” says Opening Ceremony cofounder Humberto Leon. “Anna was able to translate what was happening culturally on a bigger stage. She was the indie designer who broke the norm. The collection was really to pay tribute.”

If there’s one thing Sui understands, it’s nostalgia. “To me, it’s always a comfort level, especially when times are really harsh, as they are now, with terrorism and the state

This page: Patric Shaw (styled by Yashua Simmons; hair by Cecilia Romero at the Wall Group for Rene Furterer; makeup by Regina Harris; manicure by Dida at Ray Brown Pro for Anna Sui; model: Jamie Bochert at The Lions). Dress, Anna Sui for Opening Ceremony, $695. Choker, Shay, $2,415. Designer in her own clothes. For details, see Shopping Guide. Opposite page: Raoul Gatchalian

In the summer of 1990, Anna Sui noticed “a drastic difference” in her triumvirate of model pals, Naomi, Linda, and Christy: “Instead of wearing head-to-toe Versace or Chanel— which was always so breathtaking; they’d walk right off the runway and come over in head-to-toe—suddenly Naomi was wearing a vintage top with jeans and big platforms.”

The designer had grown up in Detroit, scoring swinging styles from the ’60s and ’70s at local thrift shops. When the It Girls of her era started wearing the hippie threads she’d always loved, she knew her moment had finally arrived. “One girl was even making chokers to wear herself,” Sui says. “When I saw that, I thought, Maybe there’s a chance for me.”

Soon, Campbell and Evangelista were wearing ribbon neckbands with sweet butterfly pendants on Sui’s New York Fashion Week runway. The designer’s baby doll dresses and flippy plaid skirt suits would help define the decade, replacing the straightforward glitz of the ’80s with a young, fun mishmash of flea market styles that Sui spotted at punk shows and nightclubs like the Mudd Club. “I think that was right at the tipping point where it just had to change,” she says. “People were wanting something more individual.”

Sound familiar? As you’ve likely heard, the ’90s are back in a big way. There’s the renewed obsession with the term supermodel—now used to debate the true powers of Kendall Jenner and Gigi Hadid and hashtagged in countless #tbts of Kate Moss and Cindy Crawford.

There’s the rise of Zoë Kravitz, YSL’s latest beauty muse, whose reprisal of her parents’ ’90s boho verve has suddenly made her the most stylish girl on the scene. There’s Netflix’s Full House reboot and the return of Scully and Mulder on a new season of The X-Files. And there’s another Jenner, Kylie, basing a beauty empire on a dark matte pout that—plumped or not—looks pulled from a back issue of Sassy.

Heck, there’s even a Clinton setting her sights on the White House.

“Anna Sui was the indie designer who broke the norm.The collection was really to pay tribute.”

Christy Turlington, Naomi Campbell, and Linda Evangelista walking Sui’s spring 1994 runway

of the world today,” Sui says. “I think people tend to go back to a time that was much more optimistic, happy, and comfortable. It’s escapism, and we need that right now.”

As for why we specifically long for the era of Winona and Johnny and Kurt and Courtney, a moment not so long ago yet infinitely distant, “it was the last moment before the Internet.

Information wasn’t immediately available.

There was a sense of place,” says Peter Halley, who in 1996 founded Index Magazine, which became a touchstone of downtown New York culture. “It was what I call the ‘indie generation.’ It was a time of DIY, people involved with actually fabricating and financing things themselves. Not only rule-breaking in terms of behavior, but in terms of cultural code.”

On a recent spring morning at her purplewalled Garment District studio, Sui, whose nails are painted a bright green, is wearing an oversize cartoon heart necklace to match her heart-printed Anna Sui dress. Her exuberance is as palpable as ever. “I think what comes across in every show is my optimism,” says the 52-year-old. “Even when I did punk, I wanted to do it in a positive way.”

In 1997, Sui did goth black lace, with models wearing devil’s horns. In 1998, she commissioned a custom car painter to airbrush hot-rod flames on a pair of white shorts for a California-inspired collection. Before Coachella even existed, Sui did a collection drawn from the 1997 Tibetan Freedom Concert organized by her friend, the late Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys. At the time, this practice of mining subculture for inspiration was considered revolutionary; now, of course, it’s de rigueur. (See, most recently, the skater-influenced clothes by of-the-moment Paris label

Vetements and the surfer-style threads of The Elder Statesman and Baja East.) And right when Nirvana touched down, smashing all of the orthodoxies of rock ’n’ roll, Sui was on the forefront of the rock/fashion crossover. “All these expressions—hip-hop, grunge, punk— were very new,” says longtime Sui collaborator Frédéric Sanchez, the French sound artist who revolutionized fashion-show soundtracks in the late ’90s by blending, he says, “punk and cold wave and abstract and minimal and electronic and rock music.”

Sui says simply, “I went to the concerts, I listened to the music. It was just part of my creative process.” Pals from Smashing Pumpkins and Jane’s Addiction filled her front row and sometimes strutted her runways; Mick Jagger was the very first customer for the menswear line she launched in 1993. Dave Navarro appeared in a ’97 collection wearing little more than a lacy camisole and numerous tattoos. Alongside them were a bevy of “real girl” edgier models, such as Michele Hicks, Frankie and Missy Rayder, Ève Salvail, and the androgynous Kristen McMenamy, who let François Nars shave off her eyebrows right before Sui’s fall 1992 show. “Anna is authentic—having people in her show that really represent her and the lifestyle,” Leon says. “A lot of people in Anna’s shows, you’d probably see them in her stores.”

Forget paying celebrities to sit front row, now standard practice. Famous people flocked to Sui’s shows because “they heard it was fun, that my shows are like rock concerts,” the designer says. “It was all word of mouth.”

If the ’90s resurgence appears to have been embraced primarily among people born in that decade (much like Sui’s own reverence for the folk singers and rockers of the ’60s and ’70s), it also seems to have inspired industry vets who lament the loss of the kind of freedom exhibited in shows like Sui’s—an ethos many argue is sorely needed in fashion today. “Everything now is about booking the social media girl to lead the runway because of her millions of hits,” says Nian Fish, who helped produce Sui’s early shows. Karen Erickson, Sui’s go-to accessory designer, cites the high-pressure effect of fast fashion.

“There wasn’t H&M or Zara,” Erickson says.

Without the urgency of factories churning out quick, cheap knock-offs of the items on the runway, “there was room to be creative.”

Übergallerist Jeffrey Deitch, who founded his iconic Deitch Projects 20 years ago—and is celebrating this year with two shows that look back at the ’90s, one featuring Tom Sachs, the other Kiki Smith—puts the decade’s cross-cultural shifts into a far less romantic context, citing a pair of economic and cultural upheavals. “One was the collapse of the Japanese bubble economy in the beginning of 1990; that created a completely new situation in art,” Deitch says. The other was the AIDS crisis. “For people who were in avant-garde art, theater, music, downtown culture—it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that a third of your friends lost their lives.” Faced with this “double negative,” he says, “a lot of artists were back to making work that didn’t have an easy market—installation pieces, film pieces, performance pieces—as opposed to salable paintings that were easily collectible.” At the same time, the birth of globalization “wiped the slate clean,” he continues. “The discourse became much more multiethnic. Women had much stronger roles in the art world. Los Angeles artists became increasingly influential—Charley Ray, Paul McCarthy, Mike Kelley.”

Deitch’s take on the era’s creativity, if not its mood, echoes Sui’s own recollection of a world view that was more about creativity than dollars and cents. “Fashion’s not this innocent thing that it was back then,” Sui says.

“Everything was instinctual. I never really thought about business; it was just kind of like, What can I create, what can I create?”

The 2008 recession marked the end of total freedom for Sui, forcing her to confront business and financial realities. She admits that re-creating those peace signs and butterfly chokers has, in fact, been bittersweet. But there’s comfort in knowing her cultural legacy is inspiring a new generation. “I’m a child of the ’90s,” says Adam Selman, the 34-yearold who made his name creating a fair share of Rihanna’s adventurous wardrobe and who cites the early work of Sui, Marc Jacobs, and Todd Oldham—and the stylings of girl group En Vogue—as source material for his oversize backpacks and baby tees (and, yes, for his lace chokers worn with zippered dresses for fall 2016). “Everything doesn’t have to be robotic,” Selman says. “They want it to be more playful, more experimental. That’s what fashion wants right now.”

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2

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Silk blouse, TORY BURCH, $325, at Tory Burch boutiques nationwide Viscose-blend skirt, DEREK LAM, $1,995, visit dereklam.com

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Faux-leather bucket bag, STELLA MCCARTNEY, $1,375, at Stella McCartney, NYC

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63

For our first-ever Women in Comedy Issue, we bring you wit, wisdom, and war stories from some of the world’s most hilarious women —Maya Rudolph, Mindy Kaling, Sarah Silverman, Chelsea Handler, and more.

Plus: our 100-comedian survey!

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THE GLORIOUS MS. RUDOLPH ON HER IMITATION GAME For seven seasons on Saturday Night Live, Maya Rudolph carried sketch after sketch with her over-the-top but somehow totally dead-on impressions—Donatella Versace, Beyoncé, and Oprah among them. Now, with Maya & Marty in Manhattan, the hour-long NBC variety show she cohosts with Martin Short, Rudolph is back in the live format she knows best, delighting audiences with guest star–laden skits, song and dance, and, of course, her homage-style mimicry that never makes any one celebrity the butt of a joke. Her first impression: “Roseanne Roseannadanna! As a kid I could wear my hair naturally and make the scrunched-up face and complain like her. I was 100 percent about getting the laugh.”

The character we’ve yet to see: “I’ve always wanted to do Gwen Stefani. I did her over the years at The Groundlings, and I played in a band—we even played some shows with No Doubt!—so I came up with an impression of her, but there was never a reason to do her on SNL. It’s all about the voice.” Her fondest miss: “I was asked to come back to SNL and play Barack Obama when he was running. I had no take on him whatsoever.

I just couldn’t figure out the voice. At dress rehearsal, I was in this little Brooks Brothers suit and my Scott Joplin wig, and Barack came up behind me. I turned to him and said, ‘Well, how do I look?’ He said, ‘I don’t wear a three-button suit.’ I was like, What does that mean? Is that a man joke? But I went out and did it, and it was terrible and humiliating.

But this is comedy—it’s fight or flight!”

”—AMY SC H U M E R , AMY SC H U M E R : LIVE AT TH E AP O LLO

Rudolph: Ramona Rosales/August; Schumer: Craig Blankenhorn

Women in Comedy

She’s back.

With all her issues.

ONLY ON

100 FUNNY LADIES WALK INTO A BAR

We all know the superstars of comedy, but what’s it like to be in the trenches? In partnership with comic community WomenInComedy.org, we asked 100 working comedians to sound off about making people laugh for a living.

1

THE

WOMEN ON THE PLANET, TO OUR SURVEY

2 What challenges do female comedians face?

“As soon as you hit the stage, you have to prove you’re funny. You probably have to play down being attractive.

Bookers will book you because they think you’re going to sleep with them.

I once had one tell me that he didn’t know if I was funny, but if not he figured my tits were worth the price of admission.”

—JODI WHITE, LOS ANGELES

“We’re supposed to be everything: the intersectional feminist voice who never makes anyone uncomfortable, but can bake and change a flat. As female comedians, you’re doing this bananas thing and hate that you’re worried whether the audience wants to fuck you or not—and not knowing which answer is worse.”

—MAGGIE DEMPSEY, CHICAGO 3 Who do you run jokes by before performing them?

54% 42% 15% FRIEND

SIGNIFICANT OTHER

SIBLING

4 Do you talk about your family in your jokes?

“My mother’s seen my performances imitating her voice and expressing her fascination with black culture. My audiences think I’m exaggerating, but my mom just nods her head: ‘Yup, that’s me.’ ”

—RHETT THOMPSON, MIAMI

CHELSEA PERETTI’S THE BROOKLYN NINE-NINE STAR AND DAY-CARE GRAD ON HER LOVE FOR LUCY

My childhood day care was run by a neighborhood mom who smoked, had a bunch of sons, had a dog— and let us eat sugary cereal! I loved it. Every morning before school when I got to this lady’s day care, her TV would be blasting I Love Lucy. I’d sit on that smoky-smelling couch and soak up Lucy before walking to school. It makes me think how much we all crave representation, before we can even articulate that desire. I didn’t know it then, but it affirmed the very possibility of my future: It was solid proof that a funny woman can make money doing what she loves at the highest level, on a hit show. So, every few years, when the media starts asking “Can a human being with female anatomy actually be funny?,” the question strikes me as plain incorrect. Not only because I myself make my living from comedy, but also because as a tiny girl I saw a woman on TV using her talent to challenge a world that said women were best as housewives. Carol Burnett, Joan Rivers, Roseanne Barr, Katey Sagal, Tisha Campbell-Martin, Tichina Arnold, Sarah Silverman, all the women of SNL, and so many more have flown in the face of this bizarre question, to millions of fans. Yet the question persists, as respected intellectuals continue to treat it with alarming earnestness. And when they do, I smell cigarettes, I taste Froot Loops, and I see Lucille Ball obliterating any doubts in all her black-and-white, timeless comedy glory.

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5 Have you ever been accused of taking a joke too far?

65 % 34

%

YES

NO What topics do you consider taboo for your own work?

None: 38% Domestic violence: 26% Bathroom humor: 17% Race: 15% 6

7 How does your job affect your relationships?

“Being funny can be overwhelming to men.

I think of it as a stress test right away.”

—ANNE, CHICAGO 8 Have you ever dated a fellow comedian?

59 % 41 % YES

NO

9 When did you know you wanted to be a comedian?

“When an older lady asked three-year-old me where I got my pretty red hair, and I answered, ‘From the mailman,’ just as my dad and I had rehearsed.”

—TAMALE SEPP, CHICAGO

Opposite page, clockwise from top left: Gabe Ginsberg/WireImage; Douglas Gorenstein/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images; Silver Screen Collection/Hulton Archive/Getty Images; Santiago Felipe/Getty Images; Dana Edelson/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images; Steve Granitz/WireImage; Gabe Ginsberg/WireImage; Gregg DeGuire/WireImage. This page, clockwise from top right: Yu Tsai/Contour by Getty Images; Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images for Comedy Central (2); David A. Smith/Getty Images; Michael Tullberg/Getty Images

“The day I got suspended for being a ‘class clown.’ ” —BRI GIGER, LOS ANGELES 10

Preshow drink:

20% 17% 13% WATER

BEER

WHISKEY

“One sugarfree Red Bull.”

—ILIZA SHLESINGER, LOS ANGELES

MARIA BAMFORD’S AS SEEN ON HER SEMIAUTOBIOGRAPHICAL SERIES, LADY DYNAMITE, NOW ON NETFLIX There was a point [after being in a mental hospital] when I was scared I couldn’t perform anymore.

I remember driving to a show, though, and being like, “Well, it’s amazing that I’m alive, so anything a little bit better is even more amazing. If I do so terribly that people are embarrassed for me, so what? Maybe it can make somebody else feel good about themselves.” L.A. is all about looking tight, puffy, and wet all the time, and maybe that’s what I can be—someone who’s let herself go so other people, even someone down on her luck with a shopping cart full of used batteries, can think, Wow, she’s a wreck.

SARAH SILVERMAN

ON THE ART OF DISHING IT AND TAKING IT

Candid, irreverent, and outrageous, this queen of low-key hilarity is a stand-up comic who’s been open about her struggle with depression, a onetime Saturday Night Live cast member (at 22!), and one of the most multidimensional entertainers in Hollywood. Is there anything that you won’t joke about? Nothing is taboo if you have an angle on it. That said, critiquing women’s human shells isn’t my thang. Though there’s probably something funny or interesting to be said about those who do it, and what that comes from. Not to be all PC. But I’m guessing that would be the area of the fresh angle on that shit. Do you perceive yourself as a guy’s girl? I play poker and basketball, and I do stand-up, and those things tend to involve lots of dudes, but times are changing. Women are our current comedy greats. There’s a women’s basketball league started by comics that’s grown so huge I believe there are 19 teams. But me, I’m just me. Don’t make me decide. I love my sisters and brothers both. As women get older, they’re often made to feel uncomfortable about their age.

How do you deal with that? I just don’t let that mentality be a part of my world. I talk to friends who get their feelings hurt when they read Twitter mentions.

I have an amazing solution—don’t read Twitter mentions. Read Lenny Letter. Read E. E. Cummings. After participating in the 2013 James Franco roast, it made news that the jokes about your age were hurtful. Listen—that was me being honest despite my vehement defense of the comics roasting me. It’s what a roast is. You all know and love each other, but I doubt there’s a single roast participant who doesn’t

AIDY BRYANT’S Glitter! If your jokes are bad, a strong dusting of glitter over your face will help you! Dazzle ’em with jarringly large amounts of twinkling trash!

There are a few basics in comedy: The truth is funny; the rule of threes; and, of course, the smoky eye. Drag that black charcoal up to your eyebrow and, boom baby, let that confidence propel you into some crowd work! “Ma’am in the front row,

need a couple days in bed reassessing their selfesteem afterward. It’s a bit of a blood sport, but if you decide to do comedy that involves risk, risk means risk, and you can’t complain of lesh wounds if you sit down at the table to play. Have other jokes hit close to home? Obviously. All our origin stories come from pain. We’re Riddlers and Penguins just trying to be loved. One of your famous jokes was: “I was raped by a doctor…which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.”

With rape jokes, what’s too far? To me, that joke is dated. Most comedy isn’t evergreen, but there’s always a fresh take on anything. I had that joke in my special 11 years ago, and I had a rape joke about rape jokes in my latest special. As long as it’s a relection of you now, everything is fair game. Right?—Molly Langmuir

are you on fire? Or is it just the ton of smoking, sexually sculpted shading around my eyezzzz!”

Optical illusions are your friend! If you stand at the way, way back of the stage—like against the back wall, as far from the audience as you can get—then you look really, really tiny!

It’s slimming!

I put Tic Tacs in my bra to give the look of rock-hard nips. It hurts the jokes a little, but I think it makes me look vivacious and young, aka likable.

Being on the road can be tough on your skin! So just don’t! Don’t take those paying gigs and diverse

audiences and just save your skin.

What you lack in experience, you’ll gain in face tightness.

If a heckler gives you trouble, just give them the microphone and go home.

Such a cute look!

Thong panties! They look incredible sticking up out of jeans, and they’ll keep you uncomfortable and on top of your game! I couldn’t perform for millions of people unless my underwear was deep inside my bottom. Fashion is my passion! And comedy exists, too! *Note: I actually love makeup, and I love to not wear makeup. No shame in either game. Everyone do everything they want.

Okay, love you, bye! XO, Aidy

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—CAMILLE HARRIS, BROOKLYN

“Picking up cigarette butts as a set PA.” —HAYLEY TERRIS, LOS ANGELES

“Serving meat off skewers at a Brazilian BBQ restaurant.

I’m a vegetarian.”

—JUNE DIANE RAPHAEL, LOS ANGELES

“Picking up dead chickens and cleaning eggs in chicken barns (from age 14 to 16).”

—MERRIT LANDSTEINER, CHICAGO 12 Best city to be a comedian:

34% 34% 9% CHICAGO

NEW YORK

LOS ANGELES

“Chicago for creativity, New York to get your credentials up, Los Angeles to make money.”

—MICHELLE, LOS ANGELES 13 Go-to performance outfit: “I take my performance outfits very seriously, and by that I mean I pick whichever T-shirt in my closet is clean.”

—FORTUNE FEIMSTER,

CHELSEA HANDLER

ON WINNING THE NO-SHAME GAME You’re one of the few women to ever have a successful late-night show. Why move to Netflix for Chelsea, your new talk show? I wanted Netflix to pay for the college training I never had—to learn about politics, science, the galaxy. The show is about learning, with me as an idiot. We traveled all over the world. In Tokyo, I went to geisha training school. I took my shirt off to change into a kimono, and the woman I was with almost had a heart attack because the cameras were all around. But you know what? The whole idea is to desensitize the nudity thing. That’s the point with all the naked pictures I post of myself online—to have them not be news. The fact that they still are annoys the shit out of me. Do you consider yourself to be shameless? I don’t have a lot of shame.

That doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad about the way someone reacts to me or about something I read about myself online. But I don’t have a lot of guilt, no. I’ve always been this way. I’m missing a chip. I feel liberated and I want other people to feel liberated, and I’m really intent on being very truthful about who I am. I think comedy has to come from your authentic point of view. Like, I don’t think I have a great body. I always want to lose five pounds. But if I talked about how fat I was, that wouldn’t make sense.

You started out as an outsider. Now you’re the consummate insider, friends with everyone from Jennifer Aniston to Reese Witherspoon. How do you reel back and pounce on celebrities in your comedy

when they are your intimates? I don’t think I’ve ever become friends with someone I would make fun of.

I’m not all of a sudden palling around with Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton. Any of the famous people I’m friends with, it’s because I’ve always respected them.

Have you apologized for a joke or a bit? I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That’s a slippery slope, because I’m a comedian. If you take anything I’m saying too seriously, then you shouldn’t be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don’t follow me.—M.L.

LOS ANGELES

“A Betsey Johnson dress with multicolored fish on it. It feels simultaneously classy and deranged.”

BRIDGET EVERETT’S

—RACHEL BLOOM, LOS ANGELES

“I perform in pants.

There’s something gender-neutralizing about that for me when I’m onstage. I want to feel comfortable playing a variety of characters.”

— MARIA RANDAZZO, CHICAGO “A black blazer I have makes me feel like I’m tricking the audience into thinking I’m a professional.”

— PAULINE MILIOTIS,

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THE BAWDY CABARET COMEDIAN—AND AMY SCHUMER BUDDY—ON THE WOMAN WHO INSPIRED HER TO POWER UP AND STRIP DOWN My mom is an 82-year-old retired schoolteacher who raised six kids largely on her own, and she has no idea how funny she is.

For starters, she always walked around the house naked, which was pretty wonderful growing up because she’s a big woman. It showed me that it’s just a body; it’s no big deal. She would go to the grocery

store without a bra, so we’d call her “Beaver Tails.” She just didn’t care! But she’s totally beloved in my hometown. She’s turned into this old lady who rides around on a Jazzy with a cane, going through Kmart poking soldiers and thanking them for their service, then trapping them in conversations.

There’s so much in my performance that’s informed by her.

Not wearing a bra onstage. Interacting with the audience.

She was a music teacher, and when I was younger, my older brothers and sisters would all get shitfaced, and we’d stand around the piano singing songs from Barry Manilow and Lionel Richie and our

favorite show tunes. That’s basically what I do for a living now. When I moved to New York to sing, the only real singing I was doing was at karaoke bars, where I would just go crazy. It was mayhem. Literally ripping my shirt off, grabbing guys—it was the only outlet that I had, but when I was doing it and getting reactions from the crowd, I thought, Oh, maybe I can take this to a legitimate stage and do crazy covers of songs and tell crazy stories. It’s a shamelessness and a freedom, which definitely came from my mother. She came to my show at Joe’s Pub once, and I was so nervous. I mean, I sit on people’s faces and motorboat them.

But she was there cheering the whole time, and at the end she came up to me and said, “That was freedom in motion.” It was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

Clockwise from top right: Maarten de Boer/Contour by Getty Images; Matt Petit/ABC via Getty Images; courtesy of Turner; Pierre Roussel/Getty Images for Variety

11 Worst day job: “ ‘Hey! Do you have a second to help the environment?’ ”

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MINDY KALING

someone like that. It doesn’t match what they consider to be a leader or a serious person.

Mindy Lahiri gets away with a lot. She says some incredibly reprehensible things. But coming from someone who dresses in bright pastels and has the voice of Minnie Mouse, it’s more palatable or amusing. I, Mindy Kaling, labor over actors’ schedules, and talk to unions about hiring more people of color, and work on a show that belongs to a corporation that has ventures in other corporate entities, so I have to behave and can’t always be charming and light.

Mindy Lahiri is “More is more.” She loves all sparkly and shiny things that are inappropriate for work. I love fashion, but it’s more about what clothes I dropped on the floor the day before that are clean enough for me to wear to the office. Noticeable stains—that’s what my life revolves around.

Mindy Lahiri loves social media. She has every platform but has zero followers, and she constantly tweets at celebrities who don’t tweet her back. Panera Bread tweeted her “Happy birthday” because she tweeted them every day for six months. I’m only on Instagram and Twitter, and I think social media is fun, but not superimportant.

Mindy Lahiri is invigorated by Donald Trump and thinks the best thing about his résumé is that he came from a reality show. To her, politicians should entertain, so she thinks life under a Donald Trump presidency would be great. I wasn’t crazy about Trump’s impression of an Indian call center, so I think he should steer clear of doing impressions.

Mindy Lahiri doesn’t really think about Hillary Clinton. She saw her on Broad City and thought that was cool. I’m very impressed by Hillary. She’s incredibly smart and is by far the candidate that has the best credentials to be president—and I don’t know why that isn’t talked about enough. The one thing I will say that is true about both Mindys—and maybe the reason Mindy Lahiri wouldn’t vote for Trump—is that reproductive rights are probably the most important thing when deciding whom to vote for, just to make sure that our country isn’t going backward rather than granting freedom to women.

Mindy and Mindy also love boys. Love love love boys, so, yeah, we agree on that, too.—As told to Seth Plattner

Clockwise from top left: Ramona Rosales/August; FilmMagic; Instagram; Matt Petit/ABC via Getty Images; Amanda Edwards/WireImage

ON FIGHTING IT OUT WITH YOUR ALTER EGO The misconception that appalls me the most is when people think that my social media persona or my persona on The Mindy Project is a reflection of my job as a showrunner. They think I just show up and vamp around and wear lipstick and make a couple of pop-culture references, then get in my convertible and drive back to my Barbie mansion. A lot of women are suspicious of girls who embrace traditional expressions of femininity—and I definitely identify as

NIKKI GLASER’S SHE’S EXPLORED EVERYTHING FROM FOOT FETISHES TO FINDING A GIRLFRIEND FOR HER BOYFRIEND (LOOK IT UP) ON COMEDY CENTRAL’S NOT SAFE WITH NIKKI GLASER .

BUT WHAT, EXACTLY, HAS SHE LEARNED ABOUT HERSELF IN THE PURSUIT OF PASSION?

I’m very certain about what I know I like about sex. Every woman should own a Hitachi Magic Wand to use during sex—just make sure your boyfriend agrees to buy it for you so he doesn’t feel threatened. But I haven’t necessarily learned any new stuff. The fact that I work in this environment where we constantly talk about sex—I think it actually makes you less sexual. That’s why I think porn stars don’t have crazy sex lives. Because

they’re doing it all day at work. I still love sex, don’t get me wrong, but I do too much observing. I’m like Jane Goodall. I can be in the moment, but I feel like there’s a lot of times when I’m looking from a bird’s-eye view, like, This is so weird what we are doing! We are grunting and there’s skin flapping and we’re so red! But I talk about it because I am and always have been interested in it. If I were interested in animals, I’d talk about animals—which wouldn’t be much different, if you think about it.

14 What do you do if you’re bombing?

“Typically, I will single out a table in the audience and start talking to them.”

—VALERIE JENCKS, CHICAGO

“Use it. I’ll make a joke about it: ‘The last time I heard groans like that was when I tried to leave the house wearing leggings as pants!’ ” —DENISE MEDINA, CHICAGO 15 What’s the weirdest place you’ve ever performed?

“A laundromat in NYC. I did a set and dropped off my fluff-and-fold.”

—JEN KIRKMAN, LOS ANGELES

“A gothic nightclub in Miami where everyone was dressed like a vampire.”

—RHETT THOMPSON, MIAMI

“I once performed as the pre-party entertainment for an orgy at the Waldorf Astoria.”

—ALISON KLEMP, BROOKLYN 16 How should hecklers be punished?

65 % 34

%

RIDICULED

ESCORTED OUT What’s your best heckle comeback?

“Some guy yells ‘nice ass.’ I grab the mic and go, ‘You should see my dick,’ and winked at him.

He was quiet the rest of the set.”

17

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Movies

Plenty of movies have been made about the emotional trip wires that await undercover operatives—none more electrifying than The Infiltrator, in which an all-star cast revisits the cocaine wars of the 1980s. By Ben Dickinson From Scarface to GoodFellas to Sicario, America’s perennial war on drugs has inspired films that mercilessly seize hold of your brain’s anxiety centers, much the way two long lines of Bolivian marching powder might on a bad night. The best of these movies cover a wide enough canvas that we’re able to see and feel the broader human price of all this mercantile mayhem. Add The Infiltrator to that special list: It goes deep—so deep that your heart even registers the cost exacted from the women and children whose lives are playing out in too-close proximity to the drug lords with whom they are connected.

The Infiltrator, directed by Brad Furman (The Lincoln Lawyer) from a script by his mother, Ellen Brown Furman, gains enormous cred just by virtue of the fact that it’s adapted from the real-life memoir of the same title by former U.S. Customs agent Robert Mazur. Bryan Cranston plays Mazur with Shakespearean gravitas as a working stiff with a middle-class family at home in 1980s Tampa, Florida, who must turn into something almost as outlandish as a werewolf—a scuzzy, ask-noquestions money launderer—on the job. No one (except maybe Breaking Bad’s Walter White) could need his work and his family to exist on two more entirely separate planes than this guy—and when he fails to preserve that Grand Canyon–scale divide, there’s potentially hell to pay both personally and professionally. It gets to you, this double life.

As Emir Abreu, Mazur’s indispensable colleague, John Leguizamo works harder onscreen than he has in years (well, he was pretty great last year in Olivia Wilde’s passion project, Meadowland) to give us a 74

Kruger and Cranston

complex, fully inhabited portrait of a troubled but noble man; it’s a joy to watch this consummate character actor’s flawless timing and naturalism put to such excellent use.

But what gives The Infiltrator particular dimension and emotional resonance are the female characters on every side of the story: Juliet Aubrey as Evelyn, Mazur’s dedicated but distrustful wife and mother to their two children; Amy Ryan as Mazur’s almost comically alphafemale superior on the Customs force (think Sandra Bullock in The Heat); Olympia Dukakis as Mazur’s worldly, cynical widowed aunt in Miami, who unexpectedly has to play a live-as-a-grenade role at a certain crucial juncture in her nephew’s career; and, most of all, Diane Kruger, who, as Mazur’s fellow undercover agent and “fiancée,” Kathy Ertz, affects a warmth and humanity far beyond anything previously detectable in her film career.

In the wake of a series of lucky (and harrowing) developments, Mazur and Ertz find themselves becoming absolute besties with the consigliere of American operations in Colombia’s legendary Medellín cartel, who’s played with sublime savoir faire by Benjamin Bratt, and his soulful wife, embodied with haunting authority by Spain’s Elena Anaya. As the two couples become ever more entwined socially and emotionally in an adorably cheesy 1980s milieu (sort of Dallas meets Miami Vice), the tension surrounding the events unspooling around them rises to unbearable heights. You will be squirming in your seat as this highly combustible state of affairs approaches its inevitable denouement. The movie’s final scene is a masterpiece of absurdity and pathos as we bear witness, for a long, excruciating moment in “Cranston’s leading time, to the spectacular wreckage wrought by a double life?

Stop the presses! this collision of wills. It’s one of the more mem- No, seriously, stop orable climaxes in the sordid history of drugthe presses! My shirt’s caught. war movies—right up there with “Say hello to Ow! Ow!” my little friend.” And it actually happened.

This page: Liam Daniel/Broad Green Pictures. Opposite page, clockwise from top right: Erik Simkins/Bleecker Street; Jeong Park; The Film Arcade; Jaap Buitendijk (2)

DOUBLE DUTY

DIRECTOR’S SPOTLIGHT

tioning British poetry prof Perry Makepeace (Ewan McGregor, in maximum urbane-heartthrob mode) as his improbable savior—the perfect victim, a subtly emasculated lost soul whose wife, Gail (a marvelously no-nonsense Naomie Harris), is a high-powered lawyer who brings home much more bacon than he does; he’s on a romantic sojourn with her in an attempt to atone for the ultimate passive-aggressive offense, infidelity. Instead, when Perry, unbeknownst to Gail, brings home to London a thumb drive loaded with data that Dima hopes will persuade the British intelligence service MI6 (in the person of the impeccable Damian Lewis as a solitary, Bondian cipher of a man) to take him and his family in, Perry drags himself and Gail into a desperate, covert life-ordeath struggle that bonds their destiny to the perilous fortunes of Dima and his family.

White, a veteran British TV director whose only previous big-screen feature was Nanny McPhee Returns (costarring…Ewan McGregor!), has taken a marvelously lucid script by veteran screenwriter Hossein Amini (Drive) and jumped her career way up to the next level by making one of the more inspired Le Carré adaptations ever shot.

The novelist’s intricate, convoluted, melancholic morality tales often result in murky, atmospheric, oddly static movies (A Most Wanted Man; Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy); Our Kind of Traitor, by contrast, rocks and rolls like a Jason Bourne joint, only—and herein lies the genius of the thing—it’s not just an action-addled shoot-’em-up. “I wrote up the women more,” White says about bolstering Harris’s role and giving eloquent voice to Dima’s wife, played elegantly by Saskia Reeves. “I wanted to add emotional layers,” she says, to this skittering drama about “what it’s like to be a man now, in 2016.” Job well done.—B.D.

RUSSIAN ROULETTE

A veteran of British TV steps up her game, directing a flawlessly stylish, twisty, of-the-moment feature adapted from a post–Cold War John le Carré thriller The opening frames of director Susanna White’s new feature, Our Kind of Traitor, gorgeously initiate you into the film’s reigning sensation of hyperreality: A burly Bolshoi Ballet dancer (played by the Royal Ballet’s Cuban phenom, Carlos Acosta) is captured in an ultra-slowmotion close-up as—sweating, lunging, almost flying—he seeks to elude gravity’s pull. By the end of this adrenaline-soaked, continent-leaping John le Carré tale, we understand this indelible image to be a perfect metaphor for the struggle of Russian thug-oligarch Dima (Stellan Skarsgård, in a career-defining role as a larger-than-life mensch among men) to save his family from becoming collateral damage amid a murderous generational shift in the leadership of Russia’s Vory v Zakone— its legendary criminal underground. Dima too is operating in the space above the void; it’s a particularly difficult place in which to stay alive.

While laying low with his brood in Morocco and plotting his strategy, Dima settles on vaca-

OUT OF EDEN Viggo Mortensen and the actors playing his six children turn in brave, committed performances in director Matt Ross’s autobiographically rooted feature, Captain Fantastic.

When this family of back-to-the-land hippies is pulled out of its Pacific Northwest forest idyll to deal with a family tragedy, the clan’s tightly knit, free-thinking ways clash with the lifestyles of the more conventional members of their extended family, and further thinking is required—with unpredictable consequences.

COLLATERAL DAMAGE Boy actors Michael Barbieri and Theo Taplitz lift the perfectly balanced drama Little Men into sublime territory as they struggle with the fallout of their parents’ falling-out.

It’s all about gentrification—nothing personal!—as a family (Theo’s) moves into an inherited Brooklyn town house and finds that, to make ends meet, they must radically raise the rent on the ground-floor shop run by a Chilean dressmaker (Michael’s mom), and little worlds collide.

White on set; McGregor and Harris (right)

WHO’S LAUGHING NOW? In the ensemble comedy Don’t Think Twice, starring Keegan-Michael Key and Gillian Jacobs, among others, writer-director Mike Birbiglia gives himself the most deliciously sad-sack role of all—but the whole cast revels in this bittersweet portrait of a New York City improv group whose deep solidarity is sorely tested when one player is elevated to TV’s big time, while the rest, as they lose the lease on their theater, are left to wrestle with how to manage the remainder of their not-so-happening lives.—B.D.

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Books

REALITY BITES Lionel Shriver’s brilliant new

We, as a country, are in steep debt— more than one trillion dollars in Treasury bonds—to a well-armed

A deep conditioner that melts into hair, leaving nothing but smooth.

Shriver

ell gets robbed at knifepoint (the fancy “chef’s kitchen” kind) by former Wall Street financiers, who take his last remaining wads of near-worthless dollars, along with his pink suede with-it professor’s shoes, and it becomes clear that the near-starving household of 14—by the time the last 4 arrive—will need a gun.

Shriver’s foray into the current dystopian trend in literary fiction may instinctively alienate—We’re all feeling apocalyptic enough, thank you!—but read this anyway; particularly if you loved, as we bookish females have, her The Post-Birthday World. It might seem incongruous, but The Mandibles has the same appeal as Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House series, with the prescient teenage son Willing Mandible, who sees the writing on the wall from the first newscast about bond sell-offs, subbing in for the intrepid Laura.

Half Pint’s daughter Rose Wilder Lane, we now know, rosied up her mother’s frontier memories with her own libertarian, antigovernment rhetoric of hard work, on-theballness, and self-reliance. Shriver, who’s already managed to turn everything from a young mass murderer (We Need to Talk About Kevin) to obesity (Big Brother) into delicious novelistic fodder, is becoming our contemporary, caustic Rose. Whether you actually believe that clannish loyalty and self-sacrifice will get you through anything, it’s reassuring, and truly fun, to imagine that when the corrective to our consumer-driven society comes, it will revive all the old values we like to think made us special.

Check out an expanded ELLE Readers’ Prize—this month, three highbrow beach reads—at ELLE.com/readersprize. ©2016 P&G

Sarah Lee

PANTENE 3 MINUTE MIRACLE

this elephant in the national living room, lurking ominously behind election-year climate-change talks and free-trade limits, unsettles you, you’ll find cathartic release in Lionel Shriver’s hilarious, brilliant new novel, The Mandibles: A Family, 2029– 2047 (Harper), because in it, the consequences have hit for real.

Instead of 1929, it’s 2029; China jump-starts a depression by dumping all its T-bills at once, devaluing the U.S. dollar while orchestrating an international accord to replace it with a new currency called the bancor. The United States can’t buy into the bancor with dollars; it has to swap oil, corn, gold—actual commodities. The president refuses, and with America excluded from the global economy, its markets collapse.

We watch as three generations of one privileged, old-money family, the Mandibles, now sans inheritance, are forced back together for survival in a New York City that looks close to ours, but, with terrifying realism, gets worse— much, much worse.

Shriver reveals the various Mandibles, joggling briskly between POVs, through their process of adaptation. “Incredibly, after having quite reasonably drawn the line at living without toilet paper, a few months later his fanatically hygienic wife hadn’t given her sister the slightest grief when Florence announced that they couldn’t keep snipping up old clothes and linens to wipe their privates, because they were running short of fabric,” marvels Uncle Lowell, once a Georgetown economist, about his entitled spouse, a former mind-body therapist.

The couple, who’ve been forced to sell their DC town house, begin their stay crammed in the basement at Aunt Florence’s in Flatbush, Brooklyn, by secreting cases of wine and not sharing. Reality really penetrates when Low-

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Books

Annie Proulx returns with a great, big novel. By Laura Hohnhold Humans trouncing nature: As narrative themes go, few match it for drama and pathos. From Wallace Stegner’s Angle of Repose and Jonathan Franzen’s Freedom to the essays of Joy Williams and Barbara Kingsolver, literature is rife with stories of men and women (mostly men) defiling pristine landscapes for profit. Annie Proulx’s stunning new Barkskins—736 pages, you long-readers!—continues the tradition, epically. No dirge, it’s a bracing, full-tilt ride through 300 years of U.S. and Canadian history, told through two families whose fortunes are shaped, for better and worse, by the Europeans’ discovery of North America’s vast forests.

For readers, like this one, who consider Proulx one of America’s finest living writers, the 14 years since her last novel (and eight years since her last short-story collection) have been frustratingly long.

Turning the chestnut “write what you know” on its head, Proulx has made a career of following her curiosity wherever it takes her in order to write what she doesn’t know. As a result, she is renowned as a writer of place, from the craggy Newfoundland of her Pulitzer-winning novel The Shipping News to the Wyoming backcountry of her short story “Brokeback Mountain.” With Barkskins (Scribner), she blows out the horizons. The novel has a satisfying global sweep, with the type of full-im82

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THE MORE THINGS CHANGE… Journalist Clara Bingham’s Witness to the Revolution: Radicals, Resisters, Vets, Hippies, and the Year America Lost Its Mind and Found Its Soul (Random House) is a copiously reported the 12 months in 1969 and 1970 when—weary of the Vietnam War, assassinations, and brutal police actions—“hundreds of thousands of young Americans took to the streets…fueled by marijuana, LSD, and rock and roll; inspired by the third-world freedom revolutions.”

Bingham conducted 100 interviews over three years with major figures of the 1960s peace movement: SDS founder Tom Hayden, Weather Underground cofounder Bernadine Dohrn, and Pentagon Papers leaker Daniel Ellsberg, among others.

Drawing on these voices, as well as memoirs, protest songs, and other secondary sources, Bingham builds an indelible portrait of a traumatized, transforming nation: “It was the crescendo of the sixties, when years of civil disobedience and mass resistance erupted into anarchic violence.” Bingham’s big take is brave, brash, and bold.

IT’S LIKE ELOISE MEETS WES ANDERSON Nicolaia Rips, at a mere 17 (Tavi, you have company), is an oldsoul sophisticate who’s written a breezy memoir, Trying to Float: Coming of Age in the Chelsea Hotel (Scribner), celebrating growing up creative class of the storied New York institution. Of her closet-size bedroom, Rips writes, “During my parents’ many dinner parties, people would inadvertently toss their coats on top of me while I slept.”

MAD GOOD The 10 stories in Vice fiction editor Amie Barrodale’s debut collection, You Are Having a Good Time (FSG), seduce with scenes of sudden human phone, via text, across distant time zones—dashed by disconsolation.

In a story we loved, “The Sew Man,” a visitor to Kashmir finds the suit of his dreams but not the love of his life. “This is the way it is for me,” he muses. “We are people who never get it right.”—Lisa Shea

Nick Vorderman

INTOTHE WOODS

mersion plot that keeps you curled in your chair, reluctant to stop reading. Proulx came late to the literary scene; she was well into her fifties when she published The Shipping News.

She’s now 80, an age that often prompts critics to proclaim a fat new book a masterpiece. In this case, it wouldn’t be hyperbole—Barkskins was worth the wait.

A synopsis can’t do it justice, but here goes: In 1693, Frenchmen René Sel and Charles Duquet arrive in Canada, then known as New France, to work as tree cutters—barkskins—in dense virgin forest teeming with animal and plant life. Proulx’s descriptions of this wilderness are visceral. There are “so many birds the sky rattled, so many fish the bay boiled like a pot.” The winter sky has the odor “of cold purity that was the essence of the boreal forest.” By dint of sheer size and vitality, these woodlands seem able to withstand the incursion of foreign settlers. If only. Like F. Scott Fitzgerald’s “fresh, green breast of the new world,” paradise eventually collapses under the weight of human aspiration.

Sel marries a native woman of the Mi’kmaw tribe named Mari, and as the decades pass, their descendants struggle to retain a way of life that’s disappearing as quickly as the pine trees of what is now Quebec. Duquet fathers a long line of timber barons whose ax-happy ambition propels them from New England to New Zealand to the Midwest, leaving mountains of sawdust in their wake.

Duquet’s great-great-granddaughter Lavinia, the family’s sole boss lady, takes to the lumber business with a fervent aggression similar to what her mother unleashed in the marital bed. Another shrewd and independent Duquet woman has children with a Sel, and the native and European families blend in a way that, in a different book, might be redemptive. But Proulx doesn’t deal in healing moments, and the mixing of the bloodlines is ruefully ironic.

Societal change and dissolution are Proulx’s recurrent themes, and in that respect in particular, Barkskins is a tour de force. Nature takes a beating, again and again. Characters slide in and out of the story, dying almost incidentally—of disease, drowning, forest fire, sundry types of murder. But Proulx’s wry voice and inclination toward dark comedy lighten the tale. The above-mentioned sex maniac kisses with a “fierce and spitty ardor.”

Her reprehensible father wears pants “of the awful thousand-pleats style, so baggy they concealed a heavy abdomen and could accommodate a forked tail.” As in all of Proulx’s work, characters have delightfully quirky names, such as Benton DredPeacock, Dud McBogle, and Hans Carl von Carlowitz (who happens to be a dog). She delights in

SUMMER’S GLOWIEST AND GLOSSIEST MAKEUP

When ELLE kicked off our annual ecobeauty awards 10 years ago, we wanted to recognize the handful of companies that were committed to using all-natural ingredients and making the world a better place. Fast-forward a decade, and the earthfriendly offerings are harder working, more sophisticated, and more varied than ever. Here, a panel of experts votes on the very best green beauty products for your face, body, hair— and overall health.

By Ali Finney EDITED BY EMILY DOUGHERTY

4 8

Owen Bruce

BEAUTY

SLEEK & SHINE

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Win the fight against frizz for * *Using Garnier Fructis Sleek & Shine System of Shampoo, Conditioner and Anti-Frizz Serum, compared to a non-conditioning shampoo.

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Green Stars

For a barelythere “stained effect,” Dreadon recommends applying lip color with a brush, then using a Q-tip to blur out the edges.

THE COOLEST KOHL Makeup artist Jessa Blades says that FAT AND THE MOON Eye Coal, which contains just three ingredients—sunflower oil, black oxide powder, and beeswax—is an “excellent choice to achieve that effortless smoky eye,”

GLOW FIDELITY When swept across the cheeks, bridge of the nose, chin, and forehead with a powder brush, moisturizing coconut oil–based TATA HARPER bronzer imparts a “beachy, luminous effect” that’s subtle enough for everyday wear, says makeup artist

Going natural doesn’t mean going without

Because radiance starts from within

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THE IMMUNE BOOSTER A favorite of the ELLE Beauty team, LIVON Lypo-Spheric Vitamin C delivers “one of the most potent antiaging antioxidants,” says Amanda Chantal Bacon, founder of California health mecca Moon Juice; its gel form is easier for the body to absorb than traditional pills or powders.

morning.

This page: Enrique Badulescu; Physicians Formula mascara, Fat and the Moon makeup, Tata Harper bronzer, and Ilia lipstick: Devon Jarvis/Studio D. Opposite page: Nick Leary; Juice Beauty exfoliator, Goop cleanser, Weleda cream, EiR mud, and Drunk Elephant sunscreen: Devon Jarvis/Studio D.

DARK STAR “Love. This. Stuff,” says dermatologist Mona Gohara, MD, of ultrablack PHYSICIANS FORMULA Organic Wear Natural Mascara, with soothing cucumber and aloe. “Volumizing, lengthening, and hypoallergenic? Music to my eyes.”

CLEAN MACHINE “Ideal for dehydrated, sensitive, or rosacea-prone skin,” says dermatologist Annie Chiu, MD, Gwyneth Paltrow’s GOOP

HOT CHOCOLATE Beach essential EIR Surf Mud + Zinc, which combines SPF 30 with antiinflammatory cocoa and glides on like a clear balm, was “inspired by ancient Mayan chocolate masks,” says Gohara. Bonus: It can also be used to protect the scalp and hair.

SAVING FACE

CLEAR VICTORY The exfoliator that leaves Bandier’s skin “cleaner and smoother” than any other? Alpha and beta hydroxy JUICE BEAUTY Green Apple Peel Full Strength, which contains brightening citrus and willow bark– derived salicylic acid.

Not only does

Chiu recommends a once-a-week gentle alphahydroxy facial peel to “reveal brighter skin, unclog pores, and lift discoloration.”

BODY-CONSCIOUS Bacon hydrates head to toe with MONK OIL, “crafted only at the new and full moons.”

This blend of avocado, apricot kernel, cedar, lavender, and rose otto oils is enhanced with flower essences (yarrow, arnica, echinacea) and rose quartz crystal.

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To create fresh-fromthe-ocean texture, our pros recommend using a deep conditioner, then liberally applying salt spray after rinsing.

Let strands air-dry.

WHAT MAKES A GREEN STAR?

va-va-volume WASH AND WEAR glutens, REVERIE Shampoo imparts strands with what hairstylist James Corbett calls “nursing ingredients,” such as neroli oil, that support healthy follicles.

Our panel of top hairstylists, makeup artists, dermatologists, and wellness experts have test-driven the products you see here on photo shoots, red carpets, and runway shows—as well as everyday clients and patients. Each Green Star must be powered by natural ingredients; be free from parabens, phthalates, and sulfates; and be sustainable (that means responsibly sourced palm oil and no petrochemicals).

THE JURY Annie Chiu, MD Dermatologist Redondo Beach, CA

James Corbett Hairstylist; owner of James Corbett Studio New York, NY Elisabeth Lovell Hairstylist; co-owner of Whiteroom Brooklyn, NY Jessa Blades Makeup artist; founder of Blades Natural Beauty Amber Dreadon Makeup artist Los Angeles, CA Jenn Bandier Fitness entrepreneur; founder of Bandier activewear

extract.

Amanda Chantal Bacon Wellness expert; founder of L.A. wellness chain Moon Juice Los Angeles, CA

Simon Upton; Rahua elixir and Tela conditioner: Devon Jarvis/Studio D

Dermatologist Danbury, CT

SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DIAMOND It’s summertime and the livin’ is easy, and glossy lips—and skin and lids—somehow feel so right.

Megan O’Neill puts her matte makeup on the back burner The time in my life when I felt my absolute most attractive was not the time Mark Wahlberg told me I was sexy. That was 2000: My friend and I spotted his hulking figure in the lobby of an awards show, and after a quick Cheshire Cat do-I-have-anything-in-my-teeth grin at each other, we intrepidly made our way over. I was wearing a fringy skirt from Patricia Field and artfully smeared black liner.

“Excuse me, Mark? Hi,” I said. “We just 94

wanted to tell you that Boogie Nights is our favorite movie. And we think you’re really hot.”

“Well, thank you,” he said, scanning us from head to toe, not leering exactly, but close.

He was even brawnier than he looked in the movies, with powerful, oddly hairless forearms. At the time, he’d just about shaken his bad-boy rap, but I still got a delicious whiff of it standing next to him. “You ladies are very beautiful, very sexy.”

That felt good, but it wasn’t The Time. Nor was The Time the day that a three-person glam squad (beauty editor perk!) descended upon my house to do my makeup for a blacktie wedding. All their artfully applied shadows and fluttery lashes added up to something that was objectively pretty. But I looked like a girl

wearing makeup, not quite like me.

The Time was a June evening maybe two years ago. I’d gone for a run in one of those gentle summer rains and, back at my apartment, had foregone ablutions in the interest of getting to an outdoor concert in Prospect Park on time. I fished around in my purse, came up with a clear Nars lip gloss, and smeared it on.

Running out the door, I caught a glimpse of my reflection, and let me tell you, I sparkled! My only embellishment was the sheen on my lips and that of my skin, gleaming with raindrops and the flush of exertion. The overall effect was warm and lustrous, yet leisurely, like I’d swallowed and now exuded the very essence of summer. Since then, every time I’ve readied myself for a momentous event—and especially around this time of year, when scorching days fade into balmy nights, and you just want to feel light and airy, unencumbered—that’s the moment I channel.

Me and everybody else, apparently. “In summer, you wear less makeup; it’s the natural inclination,” says Nars director of global artistry James Boehmer, “and transparent, glossy things seem more fun.” Shiny, happy gloss also feels invigoratingly new again to P&G global creative design director Pat McGrath. “What I’ve seen on social media in recent years is heavily applied powder to create dimension on the face,” McGrath says, diplomatically referring to makeup techniques such as contouring that, depending upon their execution, either make one look gorgeously sculpted or utterly over the top. “Naturally, trends tend to go from one extreme to the other, and right now there is a need for freshness in makeup. Gloss, either on the skin or lips, can really bring that look to life.”

Reigning makeup artists, perhaps both in response to and rebellion against the pervasiveness of matte—did a supersaturated, opaque red lip (itself a reaction to the saccharine overdose of gloss that preceded it) not feel like the official beauty emblem of polished, strong femininity over the past few years?— are now tempering the look by strategically placing high-shine effects on lids and cheeks.

Says Boehmer, “When it’s used in little touches, it’s a great way to accentuate and add light to a feature. When it’s everywhere, it looks like you’re sweaty.” Maybelline New York global makeup artist Yadim says the impact of good gloss is all in how, and where, you wield it: “A hint of dewiness on the cheeks is youthful, but punch it up and it reads more athletic. A spot of shine on the high points of the face exaggerates bone “For me ‘The structure to make all your Time’ is all the time.

All peaks, features pop in an elegant way. Shine on the lids is ladies.” dreamy and playful.”

This page: Paul Jung/thelicensingproject.com. Opposite page, clockwise from top: Antonello Trio/Imaxtree.com; gorunway.com; Andrea Adriani/Imaxtree.com; stills: Devon Jarvis/Studio D

Obsession

has a base of camellia, rose hip, and avocado oils—versus glosses, which typically contain a mix of oils and other emollients—and sinks in as a face oil would, rather than coating lips, to impart low-watt gleam.

For those who like the subtler tastefulness of matte, bear in mind that gloss, too, can have a certain minimalist appeal. “I think it’s

so cool if you’re doing a big eye statement, like a dirty, chunky, fucked-up mascara look, and then you do a clear lip gloss with that, because something with color could look cheesy,” says Boehmer, who favors Nars Triple X Lip Gloss for its staying power and resplendent sheen.

“Clear lip gloss and black eyeliner are the perfect companions.”

Em

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LIP LUSTERS

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Before piling it on, some lipgloss guidance: “Use gloss in the center of your lips so it stays on better, makes your lips look fuller, and creates textural depth,” Boehmer says. “You don’t need gloss migrating over the lip line, like you ate fried chicken.” If you have thin lips and you’re set on making them look fuller, Philips says to avoid dark, pigmented glosses; the color overpowers the lightreflecting quality that gives the impression of fullness.

“Your lips will look like this little, thin stripe of color.” For bold color plus shine, as seen below at Louis Vuitton and Kenzo, McGrath, who created the former look, painted models’ mouths a matte cranberry, then daubed a thick layer of gloss on top.

1. SEPHORA Collection Ultra Shine Lip Gel in Popsicle.

2. GIVENCHY Révélateur Magic Lip Gloss in Perfect Pink.

3. JULEP Your Addiction Tinted Lip Oil in Covet.

4. CHOSUNGAH 22 Dual Lip Tint & Gloss in Chiffon.

5. DIOR Addict Ultra-Gloss.

6. MAYBELLINE NEW YORK Baby Lips Moisturizing Lip Gloss in Lilac Lumi.

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on

On the fall 2016 runways of Valentino, DKNY, and Marchesa, skin itself went high shine; the look, Boehmer says, was “like the skin had heat to it and was a little steamy, like you’ve just come out of a sauna.” Makeup pros are very good at MacGyvering that effect using old-school backstage staples such as Vaseline (the glow it gives when smoothed over skin is terrific; its petroleum base on your pores, not so terrific) and Aquaphor; Yadim repurposed Maybelline New York Baby Lips gloss on models’ lids at DKNY. Yes, Kate Moss is said to sometimes sweep Vaseline over her lids in lieu of eye shadow, but I’ll stick to the recent batch of eye-specific glosses, which are way more comfortable and zero percent goopy. A new crop of shinebestowing products make it less daunting for mere mortals to get next-level luster at home: Pat McGrath Labs Golden Shiny Stick Highlighter + Balm Duo, a dual-ended luminizer and allover balm that McGrath debuted at Valentino, imparts otherworldly radiance; Paul & Joe Beauté Eye Gloss & Lip Gloss Duo stick gives a double dose of sheen.

By far the easiest place to wear gloss is also the most obvious—and has the sexiest connotations, if you ask McGrath, whose “ultimate glossy-lip muses are Grace Jones and, of course, Jerry Hall.” As for me, the freeassociation result of hearing the words lip gloss goes something like this: summer camp, first French kiss, Mandy Moore, breathless, heat, and, finally, M.A.C Lipglass—the most valuable thing a girl in my middle school could own. For Peter Philips, the creative and image director of Dior Makeup (his shellacked-lip look at the maison’s spring show verged on blinding), lip gloss conjures “the gesture of applying it all day long when you’re young, and the licking of your lips—it’s that teasing sexiness.” He adds that compared to, say, a matte red, lip gloss is “more playful. It changes; it’s this constant play of reflection of light that makes your lips look rounder and more voluptuous.”

If your own lip gloss reverie gets derailed right around “Ack, ponytail stuck to my face again,” fear not: Thanks to new formulas, it’s now possible to glisten with Jerry Hall intensity sans stickiness. Among the best is Dior Addict Ultra-Gloss, a collection of 18 dazzlingly glassy, hyaluronic acid–spiked infusions that come in clear, shimmer-flecked, and iridescent tints. “The great thing is the formula has a bit of stretch in it,” Philips says.

“When you apply it, you don’t need a thick glaze. It’s very elastic and nourishing.” And then there’s lip oil! It’s a whole new thing, emerging as the latest breed of gloss-withbenefits. Julep Your Addiction Tinted Lip Oil

GLOW, SKIN, GLOW! 1

2

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1. PRIMARY RAW DoYou Soy Milk Bio Lumpoule serum contains firming fermented soybean extra radiance.

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called PicoSure. What makes it different is that the beam can be delivered to the skin rapidly, at the rate of a picosecond, which works well for knocking out sunspots and tattoos. But while we were studying it, we also discovered that it stimulates collagen and elastin, so it can be used to address fine lines and texture. The fact that it can improve acne scars is especially impressive, because to treat scars in the past, you had to use wildly aggressive lasers that would give you a week or a month of downtime. With the PicoSure, people have just a few hours of being flushed pink. If someone has extensive acne scarring, I recommend a series of monthly treatments; and if someone is looking for general rejuvenation, I recommend a single PicoSure treatment every few months along with a good skin-care regimen: a sunscreen in the morning, a powerful retinoid at night.

THE FINETUNER In an industry that often skews toward excess, dermatologist Robert Anolik, MD, believes that less is more. By April Long In-the-know patients seeking the very best in everything from skin resurfacing to derriere de-dimpling keep one name at the top of their must-see list: Robert Anolik, MD. The New York dermatologist takes a diversified approach to antiaging, nimbly combining state-of-the-art laser technology with prudent needlework—he was the protégé of the late Fredric Brandt, MD, renowned as one of the world’s most skilled injectors of Botox and fillers—to achieve subtle but transformative results. “Sun damage and age reveal themselves in so many different ways,” Anolik says. “When a new patient comes in, they’re often focusing on one issue, like a brown spot, but much of our conversation goes toward thinking about the overall picture of beauty and how to keep skin looking fresh, healthy, and natural. I think doing a little bit of many different things is better in the long run than doing a lot of one thing.”

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE LASER IN YOUR ARSENAL? I’m

really excited about a new use for a laser 96

YOU’VE BEEN WORKING WITH KYBELLA, THE FAT-MELTING INJECTION FOR DOUBLE CHINS, SINCE IT WAS FDA-APPROVED LAST YEAR. HOW ARE ITS RESULTS? I’ve been using it a lot.

You do have to factor in some downtime. The most common side effects are bruising, swelling, numbness, and pinkness, but most of my patients have experienced those things for only a few days. It typically takes two to four treatments to get the best results, but it’s extremely effective, and the satisfaction rate has been very high. I think the demand is just going to keep rising.

CAN IT BE USED OFF-LABEL TO TREAT BODY FAT? It can, but right now I

wouldn’t endorse it. I’d like to see more studies before we say that it’s safe to use in that way. But whether it’s Kybella or something else, there will likely be an injectable to diminish body fat in the future.

YOU WERE ALSO AN EARLY ADOPTER OF CELLFINA, THE Anolik CELLULITE TREATMENT.

Yeah, I believe it’s the most effective way to treat cellulite. With a simple incision, we can release the band that’s pulling down and creating the dimpling.

It’s an improvement that lasts for years, and it’s minimally invasive. My patients just wear Spanx for a week afterward, and most go back to their regular activities. It’s really well suited for someone who has dimpling on the buttock and the upper back of the thigh. If someone’s concerned more with laxity, though, I wouldn’t reach for it.

WHAT WOULD YOU USE INSTEAD?

Laxity on the body is still a big challenge. I’m using the newer handpieces from Thermage, which can deliver lots of radio-frequency energy throughout the skin—that’s the best way to strengthen the collagen.

1

ARE YOU USING BOTOX IN ANY NEW WAYS? I use it every single way, thanks

to my incredible mentor—from minimizing the enlarged masseter muscle for people who grind their teeth, to preventing the corners of the mouth from pulling down, to relaxing the platysma muscle that causes neck lines.

I expect to be using the topical cream form of botulinum toxin when it gets FDA-approved. It will be particularly helpful for treating unwanted sweating on the armpits and palms—those are difficult areas to place needles—as well as crow’s-feet. But you’re still going to need an expert cosmetic dermatologist to place it on key muscles; if it’s just wiped over the areas where people get lines, it’s going to give them that unattractive frozen look.

WHAT ADVANCES ARE WE GOING TO BE TALKING ABOUT A YEAR FROM NOW? I think we’ll see more topical

delivery of cosmeceuticals and drugs to enhance the quality of the skin. For example, right after I treat someone’s face with a Fraxel Dual laser, I might take advantage of the fact that the epidermis is really permeable by applying a brightening solution or a low-density hyaluronic acid filler, like Belotero.

Instead of injecting it, I’ll spread a layer all over the surface of the skin, so it will seep in. You get a diffuse fullness and an eradication of superficial fine lines. I’ve seen the effect last a few months, but I hope that we do a larger study. The ability of the skin’s surface to retain water weakens dramatically with age, so hyaluronic acid isn’t just good for volumizing as a filler—it can also give this overall moisturizing effect when it’s delivered to just the top millimeter of the skin.

3

5

DOCTOR’S ORDERS 1. The DR. DANA Nail Renewal System “hydrates and improves the quality of nails,” Anolik says.

2. SKINMEDICA HA5 Rejuvenating Hydrator “contains a plant-derived stem cell extract that’s designed to support skin’s own production of antioxidants and hyaluronic acid.”

3. CHRISTIE BRINKLEY AUTHENTIC SKINCARE Recapture 360 + IR Defense Anti-Aging Day Treatment “integrates copper, which is helpful in the promotion of collagen, elastin fibers, and hyaluronic acid in the skin.”

4. A postlaser healing aid, DR. ROGERS Restore ointment “is 100 percent plant-based and completely petroleum-free.”

5. To ward off melasma and sunspots, Anolik recommends popping HELIOCARE supplements, “a fern extract that diminishes your sensitivity to the sun,” in addition to using SPF.

From top: Sabine Villiard/Trunk Archive; courtesy of the subject

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International

1

STAR PUPILS Far-flung ELLE editors reveal which celebs are considered to have the most inspiring eyes— and eye makeup—in their home country

EMMA WATSON UNITED KINGDOM

Harry Potter alum Emma Watson’s almond-shaped eyes have magical powers in the UK. The issue that vexes British lasses the most?

Dark undereye circles.

The most beautiful eye attribute may be that twinkle of wit, but a line-free, depuffed undereye never hurt. ELLE beauty editors around the world weigh in on their go-to products and tips for ageless, alluring eyes Eyes, we know, are the windows of the soul—but in Japan, it’s said that “the eyes are as eloquent as the tongue,” which may be truer still. Those ineffably lovely, mindbogglingly complex orbs transmit as much information as they receive, about everything from the state of our health to whom we love (our pupils dilate when our eyes are on the prize). A sustained gaze, which is a sign of trustworthiness in the West, can signal disrespect in the East—yet despite such cultural variations, we all tend to rate a person who meets our eyes with theirs as more likable, intelligent, and dominant than someone who avoids eye contact altogether. Seeing eye-to-eye— literally—is a wildly powerful thing: When two people lock looks for a prolonged period of time, their brains release phenylethylamine, a neurochemical that amps up attraction. This likely explains why, in a famous 1989 study involving 48 pairs of strangers, those who stared into each other’s eyes for a full two minutes reported 98

feelings of affection and passion for one another. (Before you try this at home, though, there seems to be a limit: In a 2015 experiment published in Psychiatry Research, subjects who held each other’s stare for 10 minutes started to hallucinate.)

Is it any wonder that eyes are such a focus, so to speak, of beauty? Women have emphasized the most expressive of assets since time immemorial, defining them with graphic lines of kohl and softly smudged shadows (the oldest known palettes—Egyptian, naturally—date back to the fourth century B.C.). When ELLE surveyed beauty editors from editions across the globe, we learned that while different cultures may have different approaches— for example, Chinese students are taught exercises and massage techniques for eye health in grade school— most of us share the same concerns, regardless of geography: chiefly, how to keep our eyes looking bright and beautiful, no matter what our age.

PENÉLOPE CRUZ SPAIN

National treasure Penélope Cruz’s sparkling eyes and flair for black liner are much admired in her homeland, says ELLE Spain’s María Fernández-Miranda.

FAN BINGBING CHINA

“Here, young girls love to use colorful contact lenses and get eyebrow tattoos,” says ELLE China’s Helena Hu. Actress Fan Bingbing’s expressive eyes are extra goalworthy.

Clockwise from top left: Alexandre Weinberger/Trunk Archive; Getty Images; Imaxtree.com; Getty Images (2)

HERIETH PAUL CANADA

Herieth Paul’s “soulful eyes elevate any photograph she’s in,” says ELLE Canada’s Vanessa Craft of the Ottawa-raised model, who has been named a favorite

by Tom Ford.

International 2

MASCARA VS. CONCEALER? IN OUR POLL, MASCARA WINS AS THE GLOBAL EYE MAKEUP MVP—EXCEPT IN THAILAND, WHERE “BLACK EYELINER IS LIKE A UNIFORM,” SAYS BEAUTY EDITOR NUTTIKA ONGKSIRIMEMONGKOL. 3

COUNTER CULTURE Women in sun-drenched Greece and Spain worry most about wrinkles caused by UV exposure, while German women name drooping lids as their primary bane. But no matter the problem, there’s a solution: From line erasers to bag banishers, here are the ultraeffective favorites of ELLE beauty pros.

THE REVIVER When “busy city life” takes its toll in the form of “crepey wrinkles,” ELLE UK’s Sophie Beresiner relies on SK-II Signs Eye Masks to deliver deep hydration.

La Mer serum and Olay eye cream: Devon Jarvis/Studio D

THE ILLUMINATOR In a country obsessed with all things body, ELLE Brazil’s Thais Schreiner says “it’s funny to be asked about eye care.” She loves the cooling metal applicator of CLINIQUE Even Better Eyes Dark Circle Corrector, which

THE DEPUFFER ELLE Romania Beauty Editor Lavinia Gogu says her readers contend with the classic trifecta: “wrinkles, bags, and dark circles.” She gently massages in a drop of SHISEIDO Benefiance NutriPerfect Eye Serum to banish signs of fatigue.

THE TIGHTENER Earning more votes from international ELLE editors than any other product, LA MER Lifting Eye Serum fights sagging by promoting natural elastin production.

The aptly named OLAY EYES Ultimate Eye Cream does it all, targeting wrinkles and bags while also brightening skin with a color-correcting tint.

4

PICK YOUR POTION When Procter & Gamble scientists conducted an in-depth study on signs of aging around the eyes, they were surprised to find just how uniquely susceptible the zone is to the ravages of time: Not only is the skin thinner and dryer than elsewhere (thanks to a scarcity of sebaceous glands), the eye area also has the weakest moisture barrier and the lowest elasticity. But the “biggest wow,” says Olay principal scientist Frauke Neuser, PhD, came when the team examined the area on a genetic level: “What we found is that the skin around the eyes ages earlier and faster than other skin. Meaning that if you’re in your thirties, the skin under your eyes could be 10 or 20 years older, in terms of biological age, than the rest of your face.”

They created an ultratargeted approach: Olay Eyes, a collection of five individual creams, one for each of the most common signs of aging—wrinkles, puffiness, and dark circles—plus one multitasker for those who feel beset by several issues at once. “Each item has either unique technology or unique ingredients that none of the others have,” Neuser says, whether it be the De-Puffing Eye Roller’s cooling metal tip or the Pro-Retinol Eye Treatment’s high concentration of gentle vitamin A derivative pro-retinol (“the heavy hitter for crow’s-feet,” Neuser says), which is proven to deliver results in four weeks.

IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION (CONTINUED) Serious and/or immediate allergic reactions have been reported. They include: itching, rash, red itchy welts, wheezing, asthma symptoms, or dizziness or feeling faint. Get medical help right away if you are wheezing or have asthma symptoms, or if you become dizzy or faint.

Do not take BOTOX® Cosmetic if you: are allergic to any of the ingredients in BOTOX® Cosmetic (see Medication Guide for ingredients); had an allergic reaction to any other botulinum toxin product such as Myobloc®(rimabotulinumtoxinB), Dysport®(abobotulinumtoxinA), or Xeomin®(incobotulinumtoxinA); have a skin infection at the planned injection site.

Tell your doctor about all your muscle or nerve conditions, such as ALS or Lou Gehrig’s disease, myasthenia gravis, or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, as you may be at increased risk of serious side effects including difficulty swallowing and difficulty breathing from typical doses of BOTOX® Cosmetic.

Tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including: plans to have surgery; had surgery on your face; weakness of forehead muscles: trouble raising your eyebrows; drooping eyelids; any other abnormal facial change; are pregnant or plan to become pregnant (it is not known if BOTOX® Cosmetic can harm your unborn baby); are breast-feeding or plan to (it is not known if BOTOX® Cosmetic passes into breast milk).

Tell your doctor about all the medicines you take, including prescription and nonprescription medicines, vitamins, and herbal products. Using BOTOX® Cosmetic with certain other medicines may cause serious side effects. Do not start any new medicines until you have told your doctor that you have received BOTOX® Cosmetic in the past.

Tell your doctor if you have received any other botulinum toxin product in the last 4 months; have received injections of botulinum toxin such as Myobloc®, Dysport®, or Xeomin® in the past (tell your doctor exactly which product you received); have recently received an antibiotic by injection; take muscle relaxants; take an allergy or cold medicine; take a sleep medicine; take aspirin-like products or blood thinners.

Other side effects of BOTOX® Cosmetic include: discomfort or pain at the injection site; headache; and eye problems: double vision, blurred vision, drooping eyelids, and swelling of your eyelids.

For more information refer to the Medication Guide or talk with your doctor.

You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please refer to Summary of Information about BOTOX® Cosmetic on the following page. © 2016 Allergan. All rights reserved. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. APC43HS16

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Coconut oil–based This Works Deep Sleep Bath Oil contains a soporific blend of chamomile, vetiver, and lavender.

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Tom Ford Orchid Soleil fires up with spicy top notes of bitter orange and pink peppercorn, followed by slow-burning vanilla and patchouli.

Makeup pro Pat McGrath created Gucci Sensuous Deep-Matte Lipsticks (shown in Iconic Red), a mega-matte formula that still feels silky by night’s end.

LIGHT SABER The double-ended Estée Lauder Limited Edition Bronze Goddess Lip and Cheek Summer Glow stick (here in Sunburst) bestows a sun-kissed gleam to skin and a lustrous finish to lips.

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Try lollipop-inspired Guerlain La Petite Robe Noire nail lacquer, shown in Rose Ribbon and Pink Button.

While the jury is still out with mainstream medicine, the cure-all du jour—for everything from acne to autoimmune disorders—comes in an IV.

By Molly Langmuir When it was alleged this past March that Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller, also a rodeo rider who suffers from chronic pain, used public funds to travel to Oklahoma and get something called the “Jesus Shot,” the story was so fascinatingly strange it made national news—which is saying a lot in this election cycle. Among the more outlandish details: The man who administered the $300 injection, a convicted felon who goes by Dr. Mike, claims the formula (the contents of which he won’t disclose) relieves pain not just temporarily but forever—and contends the idea for it came to him courtesy of, well, Jesus.

All that smacks of quackery, but the report coincides with the increasingly broad use of various shots and IV treatments to eradicate everything from jet lag to brain fog to the almighty hangover. The potions on offer are usually some combination of vitamins, antioxidants, and rehydration fluids—the utility of which is pretty much an open question, at least based on the medical literature.

The latest IV breakthrough, though, presented last spring at Monaco’s annual Aesthetic & Anti-Aging Medicine World Conference, sounds positively space age: Wavelengths of light are shot directly into the blood via an intravenous catheter outfitted with an optical fiber.

The device that does this, the UVL1500, is already approved in much of Europe to diminish pain, accelerate wound healing, and reduce inflammation, and its manufacturer, Florida-based UVLrx Therapeutics, is now working on getting a similar gadget, the UVL1000, okayed for use in the U.S. An FDA-designated institutional review board has already deemed it a “non-significant risk device,” which 104

means it’s not a serious danger to research subjects, though this doesn’t address its effectiveness. Company officials say they’re working on that now: For example, one small, recently completed study of 15 patients—conducted by Shreveport, Louisiana, cosmetic surgeon Daniel Knight, MD—found that by adding a series of UVL1500 sessions to laser and ultrasound skin-tightening treatments, subjects achieved the healing and other benefits in one week that are usually observed after two months.

The light concept actually dates back to the late 1800s, when Danish doctor Niels Ryberg Finsen was awarded the Nobel Prize for discovering that the bacteria-killing properties of UV rays could eradicate skin lesions caused by tuberculosis.

(Which is why sanitariums at one point offered heliotherapy— basically, sunbathing.) In the 1920s, Seattle physicist Emmett Knott patented an apparatus that treated infectious blood diseases by extracting blood, irradiating it with UV light, then reinjecting it into patients. By the 1940s, even leading medical centers like Georgetown University Hospital were using ultraviolet blood irradiation, or UBI, for not just bacterial infections but also autoimmune disorders and viruses, like pneumonia and hepatitis. Dozens of papers attesting to UBI’s benefits appeared in scientific journals at the time, such as a 1944 study in the Archives of Physical Therapy reporting that 57 of 58 polio patients treated with UBI had fully recovered. But there were few randomized, placebo-controlled trials, and with the widespread use of antibiotics and advent of the polio vaccine in the ’50s, the treatment fell out of favor.

This past April, Michael R. Hamblin, PhD, an associate professor of dermatology at Harvard Medical School, coauthored a paper titled “Ultraviolet Blood Irradiation: Is It Time to Remember ‘The Cure That Time Forgot’?” in the Journal of Photochemistry and Photobiology B: Biology. “UBI has a huge effect on the blood,” Hamblin says. In fact, another form of light-wave blood therapy (with the even wordier name extracorporeal photopheresis, or ECP) has already been approved by the FDA to treat a type of lymphoma, and it’s been tested on a variety of other conditions: “Several clinical trials suggest that ECP may be used to treat a broad spectrum of autoimmune diseases,” concluded a team of pathologists writing in the peer-reviewed journal Transfusion and Apheresis Science in 2015; another article in the same publication showed that it helped prevent rejection in heart transplant patients.

Hamblin says there are only theories about UBI’s healing mechanism, but “clearly the immune system is involved.” For infectious diseases, he adds, “one possibility is that the light is changing the DNA of viruses or bacteria so they’re better recognized by the immune system.” (He and other UBI enthusiasts, such as Charleston, South Carolina, pathologist J. Todd Kuenstner, MD, admit that they’ve got a ways to go before the medical establishment believes. “What will change minds is data and large trials,” Kuenstner says.)

What’s novel about UVLrx Therapeutics’ devices is that they irradiate blood without removing it from the body; they’re also the first to combine UV light with red and green wavelengths, which have well-established benefits for the skin: diminishing acne, boosting circulation, and improving collagen production. (As for cancer risk, one 30-minute IV light treatment delivers about the same amount of UVA radiation as one minute in the sun.)

It’s obviously too early to make definitive conclusions about the benefits of UBI, but given the rise of antibiotic-resistant infections (not to mention viruses like Zika), Hamblin is not the only one calling for more research. UVLrx, for one, is experimenting with the device to treat dengue fever, in partnership with a doctor in the Philippines, and has set its sights on forestalling aging across the board by diminishing inflammation. Now that would be a Jesus Shot.

Daniela Glunz/blaublut-edition.com

Inside Out

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Shoe designer Chloe Gosselin finds a welcome respite from big-city life in an airy Manhattan penthouse.

By Naomi Rougeau

Gosselin, wearing her Enchysia pumps, in the solarium that houses a lap pool

106

“I’m sorry I couldn’t have the pool filled,” says Chloe Gosselin as she perches on stilettos from her eponymous shoe line. She’s in the sun-filled solarium of her New York City penthouse, where, a year prior, said 30foot lap pool sprang a leak that seeped through to neighboring apartments.

A mess, to be sure, but it’s difficult to be bothered by much of anything, even soggy neighbors, in the sprawling 20,000-square-foot home (10,000 feet of apartment plus 10,000 of deck) that occupies the fifty-fourth through fifty-seventh floors of a midtown building on a stretch of Manhattan real estate so prime that brokers have taken to calling it “billionaires’ row.”

What was purchased in 1997 as a bachelor pad by Gosselin’s then fiancé, David Copperfield—yes, the übermagician— is now a welcoming home that serves as Gosselin’s New York HQ, which comes in handy when working on her two-year-

PHOTOGRAPHED BY CHRISTOPHER STURMAN

Gosselin wears: Dress, Altuzarra. Bangle, New York Vintage. Pumps, Chloe Gosselin. Her own necklace and ring. For details, see Shopping Guide

SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS

Italian Sparkling Wine, ©2016 La Marca® USA, Hayward, CA. All rights reserved.

M A K E E V E R Y DAY S PA R K L E TM

From left: Copperfield and Gosselin’s collection of antique marionette forms; the main living area; looking west from the deck

old footwear line. (The couple’s primary residence is in Las Vegas, where Copperfield’s show has played twice a night—and thrice on Saturdays—295 days a year, for the past 16 years; they also have a place in the Bahamas.)

This aerie is literally the height of urban living, but when you’re surrounded by its teak furniture, gauzy drapes, palm-blade fans, various ferns and banana trees, and that epic deck, you might think you’ve stumbled into a Balinese oasis…except for the panoramic Gotham views. “New York is full of distractions, but this is my bubble,” says Gosselin, 31.

The glamour factor is not lost on her; she had a middle-class and somewhat rural upbringing in Normandy, France, where she spent her time riding horses and fervently sketching shoes and clothes. “I loved shoes,” she says. “I had my little ballerina flats, and my mom never wore heels. But when I was about three or four, she got a job where she had to wear the tiniest heels. I was obsessed.”

Studying painting at Brussels’s prestigious La Cambre school of visual arts, Gosselin was classmates with future fashion stars Anthony Vaccarello and Olivier Theyskens, whose creations she frequently modeled in student shows. After she was spotted by a scout at one such occasion, her art career took a detour, and by the mid-aughts, she was starring in ad campaigns for Kérastase, Garnier, and Pantene. She met Copperfield in 2007 while working as a model in Brussels; in 2010, she gave birth to their daughter, Sky. “Having a kid really changed my perspec108

tive,” says Gosselin, who decided to leave modeling and shift focus to her original interest: shoes. Though she easily could have handed over the reins to a design team, she signed up for a crash course in footwear patternmaking at FIT in New York, along with production courses at the NYC annex of Milan design school Arsutoria. Fall 2014, her first collection, began with a vintage wooden shoe last she found at a market, which had a ’50s-style almond-shaped toe. In the midst of a very pointed-toe moment in fashion, Gosselin debuted her now-signature Datura, a classic pump. “I love that era,” the designer says, “the tiny waists with the full skirts, superfeminine but empowered.” (Gosselin’s own closet reflects her love of vintage; it’s well-stocked with early-’90s Alaïa, often from best friend Shannon Hoey’s Flatiron

Gosselin in the main living area, sporting her Larkspur sandal

boutique, New York Vintage.) Gosselin’s current footwear hit is the Larkspur, a 110 mm (4.33 inch) strappy sandal, as seen on Kendall Jenner, which has nearly sold out at Barneys.

While Gosselin calls the shots at work, there’s at least one area of her life in which she collaborates: home interiors. “David and I love to decorate together, but we’re about collecting and finding amazing pieces and building things around them. We don’t really like hiring someone—it’s just not what we do,” she says. Indeed, her home is like a museum of magic-related artifacts; you could spend hours marveling at the mechanics and workmanship of, say, nineteenthcentury carnival games from Coney Island.

An entire floor of the residence is devoted to some 300 antique arcade machines, and the double-height living area features varioussize wooden marionette forms “scaling” the walls. “David says, ‘Normally wives would be like, Keep that in your separate room!’ But I’m like, ‘No, bring it in the living room!’ ” Gosselin says. She’s particularly fond of a coinoperated, turn-of-the-century animatronic machine called the “Temple of Mystery” that features a magician and his disappearing assistant. “It’s just so beautiful,” she says.

“The musical score, everything.”

Whether she’s designing or decorating, her overarching objective is storytelling. Case in point: a roughly three-by-four-foot mold of a wooden hippo head that’s a relic from one of the early Macy’s parade floats. “Yes, right now there’s a ginormous head in our Vegas living room,” Gosselin confesses. Then she adds, “It’s weird, you know? I didn’t really envision my future, but I’m pretty happy with how it’s turned out.”

Styled by Courtney Kryston (hair by Song Hee for Oribe Hair Care; makeup by Andie Markoe-Byrne for Diorskin Nude; set design by Olga Naiman).

Gosselin wears: Dress, Elie Saab. Ring, Thierry Mugler. Sandals, Chloe Gosselin. Her own necklace and ring. For details, see Shopping Guide

“We’re about collecting and finding amazing pieces and building things around them.”

Italian Sparkling Wine, ©2016 La Marca® USA, Hayward, CA. All rights reserved.

M A K E E V E R Y DAY S PA R K L E TM

Patty Duke as Neely O’Hara in Valley of the Dolls

Valley of the Dolls is 50, and still as hot and bothered as ever. What’s changed for women since 1966?

Now we wear our anxieties on our sleeves—and are experts about the many pills we keep. Holly Millea plumbs the ups and downs of our medicated state Every time I’m late on deadline, which is every time I’m on deadline, I e-mail my editor, Lisa, the film still from 1967’s Valley of the Dolls with Neely O’Hara (played by Patty Duke) in a detox ward reaching desperately for a candy jar of red pills. I caption it, “Me, going for the Hot Tamales!” In other words, I’m in the zone, writing, sparked by my drug of choice: sugar, a real addiction for me, second only to free shipping.

On this story, I’m not quite there yet. I’m quite here, at Freds restaurant in Barneys New York, celebrating a birthday with friends, one of whom asks what I’m working on. It’s a piece timed to the fiftieth 110

anniversary reissue of Jacqueline Susann’s novel Valley of the Dolls (Grove Press), a cult classic about three girls, striving to become stars, whose dreams come true—only to be derailed by their dependence on “dolls,” Susann’s slang for uppers and downers. “A child fears the loneliness of the dark and clutches at its rag doll,” the late author explains in an obscure documentary. “A lonely star also clutches for a doll—a little red or yellow doll—the sleeping pill.”

My friend Sarah gasps.“Oh God, that reminds me, I forgot to refill my Ambien.” She looks stricken.

“Relax,” Rhonda reaches for her bag. “I just picked mine up.”

“You can sub an Ativan—it works like Ambien,” Monica notes. “Do you want an Ativan, too?”

Why not? Sarah expertly tears the top off a sugar packet, empties it, drops the pills in, folds the edge, and tucks it in her wallet. “Sweet dreams!”

Can I have one?

20th Century Fox/courtesy of Everett Collection

IT’S A DOLL WORLD

ACCESSORIES EXCLUSIVE ACCESS COMMUNITY TEST NEW PRODUCTS FASHIO

Culture “No! You have your own prescription,” Monica says. True, but I’m building up a doomsday arsenal.

“I take Ambien to go to sleep and Ativan if I wake up in the middle of the night,” Rhonda admits.

I did that once, but it made me groggy the next morning.

“Not me,” Rhonda says. “I take an Adderall first thing with my coffee. Perks me right up.”

I tried Adderall—but not with coffee; they’re contraindicated, people!—hoping it would help me focus and write faster, but no. I called it Chatterall, because I never stopped talking. I’d go to interview movie stars, and they couldn’t get a word in edgewise. I’d ask a question and answer it for them, get home and transcribe a virtual monologue on their career highs and lows, break into reenactments of their greatest scenes…mortifying. (Sorry, Michael Fassbender!)

“Last weekend my neighbor Glenn gave me an Ambien, and I slept through to morning for the first time in years,” Trish says. “But I dreamt that I gave away Puss!” Her cat. “Do you think subconsciously I want to give her away?”

“Yes,” Virginia says matter-of-factly.

“Then I dreamt I made a small hole in my duvet and started pulling the feathers out one by one...”

“That’s a good night’s sleep?” Virginia asks.

“Well…I didn’t get up to go to the bathroom.”

“Oh, brother,” Virginia shakes her head. “I’m sticking to wine. I’m a junior alcoholic—junior varsity.”

What’s the difference? “I don’t drink copious amounts of alcohol, I drink coping amounts of alcohol. A glass of Chardonnay is like half an Ativan.” She laughs. “I don’t suppose any of you pill poppers has aspirin in your bag? I want a second glass but I don’t want the headache.”

That was the one doll we couldn’t deliver.

IN FEBRUARY 1966, A PADDED JIFFY envelope hit the desks of 1,000 newspaper and magazine book critics and major celebrities.

Inside was a copy of Valley of the Dolls and an Rx prescription pad with a scattering of colored pill capsules taped around the doctor’s orders: “Take 3 yellow ‘dolls’ before bedtime for a broken love affair; take 2 red dolls and a shot of scotch for a shattered career; take Valley of the Dolls in heavy doses for the truth about the glamour set on the pill kick.”

“We wanted it to look like somebody drunk had upended their pill bottle,” recalls feminist author and Ms. magazine cofounder Letty Cottin Pogrebin, then publicity director for publisher Bernard Geis.

“We ordered empty pill capsules and put sugar in them. I always tried something gimmicky for my books to make them stand out.”

A shocker at the time, VOTD was a racy roman à clef depicting three best friends—“Neely had talent, Jennifer had beauty, Anne had brains”—who, over the course of 20 years and 442 pages, are caught in a kaleidoscope of fame, sex, addiction, homosexuality, cancer, adultery, suicide, divorce, abortion, and 23 subplots.

“It’s the most unputdownable book,” says Candace Bushnell, creator of Sex and the City, who first read VOTD as a sneaky teenager.

“Dolls and Peyton Place, and Mary McCarthy’s The Group—those were the three books you weren’t supposed to read. I’ve read Dolls so many times, asking myself, What is it about this book? The writing is simple, yet somehow it’s vivid and also sad, and it also feels real. That journey of youthful sex and enthusiasm into adult realities about romance and relationships and aging; young girls becoming adult women and seeing that their girlish dreams were just girlish dreams.”

Within three months VOTD was at the top of the New York Times best-seller list, cemented at number one for 28 weeks in a row—this despite biting reviews, including from the Times’ own critic, Eliot Fremont-Smith, who wrote, “There’s a great deal of suffering in this 112

novel…which, the characters all tell each other, only Seconal can relieve. Unfortunately, for them and us, it doesn’t.” Time magazine voted it the “Dirty Book of the Month,” and in the New York Herald Tribune, Gloria Steinem slammed it: “Compared to Miss Susann, Harold Robbins writes like Proust.” Meow!

But the criticism was a boon. The movie rights to the book sold for $200,000—about $1.5 million in today’s dollars—and when the film was released in December 1967, it was an instant and highly quotable camp hit: “Sparkle, Neely, Sparkle!”…“You know how bitchy fags can be”…“Her hair’s as phony as she is.”

Susann, a middling actress turned author, wrote what she knew to be true, ticking off the boxes of every then taboo. But it was the endless ingestion of dolls depicted in the book that fascinated the culture. “[In those days] taking pills was totally stigmatized and secret,” Pogrebin remembers. “Nobody ever would admit to it. We were supposed to be perky and happy and cheerful on our own steam.”

IN MY BAG I HAVE A SMALL silver pillbox, a gift from a friend, the top of which is engraved LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE. Over the last 25 years it’s held an assortment of antidepressants, including Prozac, Celexa, Paxil, and Zoloft (the last I super-loved, as I lost 10 pounds on it—what’s not not-depressing about that?); each was effective for a few years until I’d plateau, as the lingo goes, and, like an SSRI serial monogamist, I’d embrace the next.

Depression runs in my family, or, rather, runs around my family, taking turns with us. For me, personally, it was never bed-confining, but it was often isolating. Most days it was like suffering a low-grade fever, which I counteracted by acting up and just plain acting (Sparkle, Neely, Sparkle!), leaving me a mixture of exhausted and anxious. There were moments when a burst of lightness would catch me midstep—Oh! I’m happy! This is happy!—and I’d stand still thinking, Remember this feeling. And wishing I could capture it in a bottle.

I certainly tried. In between the prescriptions that worked were bad dates with Wellbutrin—teeth grinding, heart racing, like a legal version of the speed I took in college to stay awake crashing term papers—and Effexor, a drug that, within a week of starting, had me sitting at my computer slightly stuck on a story, suddenly thinking, If I just cut myself a little bit, I’ll feel relieved and open; I’ll calm down and find the words…as if it were a perfectly rational solution…I don’t want to use a straight razor with a dull edge. I’ll just run down to A.I. Friedman and get one of those curved art blades. Less drag.

And then, from the back row of my brain, a heckler shouted, “What, are you nuts?”—and I picked up the phone, called my psychiatrist, relayed this crazy urge, and went straight to his Park Avenue office, where he noted the drug’s (extremely rare) adverse side effect of inspiring its taker to engage in self-harm, and he switched me from Effexor to Lexapro. A month later, I felt, as Goldilocks would say, just right. Six months later, I began wondering if Lexapro was the reason my hair was thinning (a side effect, though uncommon, of most SSRIs), which in itself was depressing. I tapered down and quit completely; likewise with Ambien, the counteracting companion to all my sleep-depriving antidepressants.

While there are currently 12 bottles of SSRIs, painkillers, sleeping pills, and more in my medicine cabinet (most of them expired), the only med rattling inside my pillbox now is the ubiquitous Ativan, a fast-acting, but not long-lasting, antianxiety drug. And one that I actually pop far less frequently than my doctor prescribes. On a monthlong trip home to South Dakota, I forgot my dolls. No biggie, I reassured myself as we taxied for takeoff; it’s not like I Neely-need them. Besides, there’s always someone with a spare. But don’t take my word for it: A recent study in the American Journal of Public Health

Susann was pioneering chick lit, elbowing her way to prominence past the likes of Philip Roth, John Updike, and Gore Vidal.

The false-lashed beauty Jacqueline Susann was adept at sound bites: “Sleeping pills and wake-up pills are the addiction of the overprivileged— people who are trying to meet the pressures of success.”

Courtesy of Jacqueline Susann Archive Collection

found that prescriptions for antianxiety meds soared 67 percent between 1996 and 2013. Combine that stat with the fact that women are 60 percent more likely than men to suffer an anxiety disorder in their lifetime, and you’ve got to wonder what the hell is going on.

“I TOOK AMPHETAMINE PILLS WHEN I was on tour. I felt that I owed it to people to be bright…I was suddenly awake, [and] could give my best.” —Jacqueline Susann in Pageant magazine, 1967 Like her Valley girls, Susann had beauty, brains, and talent, as well as chutzpah. “She was quite dazzling: tall, slender, very heavily made up, very coiffed, wore short Pucci dresses, high heels—very not-tobe-missed,” Pogrebin says. In endless interviews and television appearances across the country, Susann is a relentless self-promoter— revolutionary for a woman in 1967—adept at Twittery sound bites: “Sleeping pills and wake-up pills are the addiction of the overprivileged—the people who are trying to meet the pressures of success,” and “I’ll be remembered as the voice of the ’60s…Andy Warhol, the Beatles, and me!” Even her close friends were embarrassed by her brazenness. “This is not dignified,” critic Rex Reed remembers tell-

ing her. To which she replied, “ ‘Do you want to be dignified, or do you want to be number one?’ ” Unaware of it at the time, Susann was pioneering chick lit—books by women, about women, for women—elbowing her way to prominence past the likes of Philip Roth, John Updike, and Gore Vidal, much to the intelligentsia’s dismay.

“I just finished reading Portnoy’s Complaint,” says Canadian journalist Barbara Frum (the Barbara Walters of Canada) during a 1969 TV interview with Susann. “That’s high art.”

Parries Susann: “Roth is one of the finest writers I’d ever meet.” Pause. “I wouldn’t want to shake hands with him.” Then she adds, “I think great fun is high art.”

Frum keeps needling her, and an amused Susann calls her on it: “You’re trying to bug me, and you’re not getting away with it. I’m having a marvelous time.”

On The David Frost Show in 1969, the brain-to-brain combat is far less civil. Susann appears along with Reed and Nora Ephron, then both magazine writers in Manhattan, and New York magazine critic John Simon. “Nora and I decided ahead of time we’d talk about how Jackie revolutionized book publishing,” says Reed, who was Susann’s close friend. “Nobody had ever sold herself like that.”

But Simon wouldn’t have it. “Do you think you are writing art, or are you writing trash to make money?” the critic says.

“It’s too sophisticated a story for you to understand,” Susann zings, “because it’s dirty.”

“Then I opened my big mouth and said John never read the book,” Reed recalls. “That set Jackie off. John said he’d read 40 pages, enough to know it was trash. He was so vicious, and sitting right next to Nora, spitting all over her. He attacked Nora, too—Nora liked the book!” The show devolved from there, ending with Simon screaming, “I would rather see dogs fornicate than read your love story!”

Susann survived the critics and had the last laugh; VOTD has sold 31 million copies to date, rivaling Gone With the Wind and To Kill a Mockingbird and making way for the likes of Danielle Steel, Jackie Collins, Nora Ephron, Candace Bushnell, Jennifer Weiner, E L James, and Lena Dunham, who not long ago Instagrammed the Neely O’Hara/Patty Duke film still with the message: “Lately I’ve been noticing that nearly every pop cultural image we see of a woman on psychiatric medication is that of an out-of–control, exhausting and exhausted girl who needs help. But guess what? Most women on meds are women who have been brave enough to help themselves. It’s important that we see normalizing portrayals of people, women, choosing to take action when it comes to their mental health. Meds didn’t Continued on page 154 113

FOR STEFI, WITH LOVE AND SQUALOR One day in 2004, Susan Faludi’s estranged father left her a terse message: The domineering man who’d made her a powerful feminist writer HAD BECOME A WOMAN. So began a 10-year catand-mouse pursuit that became Faludi’s daring new memoir, In the Darkroom.

“Now that I’m a lady…men have to help me. I don’t lift a finger.”

My father gave me a pointed look. “It’s one of the great advantages of being a woman,” she said. “You write about the disadvantages of being a woman, but I’ve only found advantages!”

As you mull that passage, double-taking on the pronouns and your gender assumptions, get ready for more like it in Susan Faludi’s latest book, In the Darkroom, which is about, among many other things, her effort to reconnect with her long-estranged father, who at age 76 announced to his daughter that he’d decided to become a woman. Faludi is a touchstone among those of us who were college-age or professional women in the 1990s and aughts, not for the impact of her personal revelations, but for her astute 114

Susan and Stefánie Faludi in Budapest, September 2010; father and daughter in New York in 1959 (top); in the Swiss Alps in 1972 (left)

Bottom right: Russ Rymer; remaining images: courtesy of the subject

By Lisa Chase

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reporting and acid analyses of gender politics. In 1991 Faludi published the landmark, award-winning Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women, meticulously documenting the political and media-fueled attacks on second-wave feminism and the surge of women entering the workforce. (She’s still got her fastball, too: Just read her withering 2013 assessment in The Baffler of Sheryl Sandberg’s Lean In, which, Faludi writes, focuses on the privileged woman’s “internal obstacles” and ignores the need for collective action on behalf of the masses of women who aren’t well-off and well-connected.)

Backlash was inspired by perhaps Faludi’s best-known journalistic reveal: In the mid-1980s, fresh out of Harvard and a reporter at the San Jose Mercury News, she debunked a Newsweek cover story (and the study on which it was based) that had concluded that never-wed, college-educated women over 40 were, in the har-har words of the Newsweek scribe, “more likely to be killed by a terrorist” than to find husbands. I found an interview with Faludi on the Los Angeles Times website about how she’d uncovered this and other marriage scare tactics of the time, and popping up in the middle of it, like some The Rules–esque party crasher, was this ad: “#1 Reason Men Pull Away / BeIrresistible.com / The Biggest Mistake Women Make That Kills a Man’s Attraction.”

Hmmm. That’s the way modern algorithmic life goes: Looking for one thing, we’re often confronted with information we weren’t seeking at all. It’s as good a metaphor as any for Faludi’s eloquent, timely, and sweeping-yet-intimate new book.

“What does it say on the back of the galley?

What did they call it?” Faludi asks as we sit talking in her warm kitchen in Brunswick, Maine, one cold day in April.

result? Finally, as Faludi writes, “Is identity what you choose, or what you can’t escape?”

“But it’s not a memoir about me, which usually memoirs are. I mean, unintentionally I’m sure it reveals far more about me than I wish it did, but it’s also my attempt to take my father’s experience and think in terms of what it means in the universe,” Faludi says softly, sipping a latte that her husband, writer Russ Rymer, has prepared for her in a sleek little Rancilio espresso maker nestled on the counter.

She and Rymer have both taught—gender and women’s studies and English, respectively—at Bowdoin College since 2013.

Faludi presents as a reserved, private person and the consummate reporter—in the spring of 1991, at age 31, she won a Pulitzer for a story in the Wall Street Journal about a leveraged buyout of the Safeway grocery chain and the ensuing collateral damage to the stores’ employees. Backlash was published that fall—talk about a good year!—and was followed by Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man (1999) and The Terror Dream: Myth and Misogyny in an Insecure America (2007).

Both of these, too, center on gender politics in American culture.

In between the latter two books, Faludi got an e-mail one day in 2004 from her father titled “Changes.” “Dear Susan,” it began, “I’ve got some interesting news for you. I have decided that I have had enough of impersonating a macho aggressive man that I have never been inside.” He’d gone to Thailand for breast augmentation and a 116

Steven Faludi in Brazil in the early 1950s; as a toddler in Budapest in 1930

oppressive domination—Susan’s mother was forbidden to work—led to a bitter divorce in 1977, when Susan was 16 and her brother 9. Her dad had seemed, Susan writes in her book, “invested—insistently, inflexibly, and, in the last year of our family life, bloodily—in being the household despot. We ate what he wanted to eat, traveled where he wanted to go, socialized with the (very few) people he wanted to see, wore what he wanted us to wear…. For as far back as I could remember, he had presided as imperious patriarch, overbearing and autocratic, even as he remained a cipher, cryptic to everyone around him.” In 1990, pushing the estrangement ever further and farther, Steven, a Hungarian Jew who’d survived the Holocaust and fled to America after the war, did something very odd. He repatriated himself to Hungary.

In that 2004 e-mail, Stefánie Faludi practically dared her daughter, “Write my story.” Susan accepted the challenge, and for the next decade (Stefi died in 2015), she made repeated trips to Budapest as father and daughter struggled to reestablish a relationship. Early on, Faludi’s father provided a clue as to what had always driven him, then her: “ ‘Getting away with it,’ Stefi said in her still-thick Hungarian accent.

‘Susaaan, don’t forget that line. That’s the key to it all.’ ” Yes, remember that line, because it was her father’s operating system, and he employed it to Machiavellian effect one night against his family.

When Susan (and we) learn the depth of his deception—a knife attack

Courtesy of the subject (2)

Memoir

Father and daughter in New York City in the early ’60s

on her mother’s boyfriend so well planned that Steven not only got away with it, he used it to his benefit in divorce court—it takes our breath away.

Courtesy of the subject

From the 1960s through the mid-’80s, Steven was a go-to

guy in New York for photographic development and manipulation techniques—known as “masking” and “dodging”; what he called his “tricks.” He worked on the photos of Richard Avedon, Francesco Scavullo, Irving Penn, Bert Stern, and André Kertész. In an era before Photoshop, Faludi could remove a mole, erase a model’s wrinkles, add light, dissolve darkness. Susan writes that her father liked to say, “ ‘You don’t expose what you don’t want exposed.’... He made the story come out the way he wanted it to.”

“Thank you, photographic vocabulary, for the perfect metaphor,” Susan says now. “That’s the great thing about journalism; you can’t make any of this stuff up. Nobody would believe this if I told it as a novel.”

It’s true. When Stefi arrived at the airport to pick up Susan, their first meeting in years, the two embraced. “Her breasts—48C, she would later inform me—poked into mine. Rigid, they seemed to me less bosom than battlement, and I wondered at my own inflexibility…

As if there weren’t plenty of ‘real’ women walking around with silicone in their breasts. Since when had I become the essentialist?”

Steven/Stefi Faludi had been immersed in huge political and cultural movements of the last century; as one of Susan’s friends remarked after reading the manuscript, “Your father is the story of the twentieth century in one person.” He and his Jewish parents—they were called Friedman—lived in a tony section of Budapest until the war. (Steven later changed his name to “Faludi” to sound “one hundred percent Hungarian.”) While anti-Semitism ran deep in the country, it was not until 1944 that the Hungarian government, in cooperation with the Nazis, quickly and efficiently rounded up Jews and deported hundreds of thousands to concentration camps. Those who were left tried to pass as Christians, and more than once, Faludi’s father tells her that all the police would have had to do was order him to drop his pants (and this did happen to men) to see if he was circumcised, and the gig would’ve been up.

Throughout the book, Susan weaves the history of Hungary and its Jewry, the history of the global transgender movement, and, bit by bit, stories about her father, her extended family, Steven’s upbringing by cold and narcissistic parents…and how whatever he might have chosen to be back then was interrupted by the war and the imperative to survive. But running alongside these facts are scenes, at times, of incredible hurt as these two people stumble over emotional detritus, trying to find a way to each other. For example, Stefi castigates Susan for deciding not to have children: “Without children, your existence has no meaning.” And, when I didn’t answer: “Your books will stop selling. People will forget all about what you wrote.… It’s the most important thing.… family,” she finished.

If family meant so much, I thought and didn’t say, why did she cut herself off from the one she was born into and the one she’d sired?

Susan had known almost nothing of her Hungarian relatives, because her dad never spoke to or saw his parents, who were still alive in Israel. He insisted that his wife and children celebrate Christmas and Easter; he adopted the role of the postwar suburban American father, bombastic version. When Susan sees spray-painted on a wall in Budapest the words “Learn to forget,” they strike her as emblematic of the Hungarian mind-set. In this, Stefi was a true believer. Or so it seemed.

In one scene, Susan is in Budapest, cajoling her father to take her on a tour of his childhood haunts, trying to subtly maneuver him (she too employs “tricks”) into visiting where the Friedmans lived, went to school, went to temple, before the war. She wants to figure out who she is, who she came from; and repeatedly, during the years she spent reporting this book, she tries to get her father to dig into the past.

“Dad, Stefi, please.” I said. “Let’s go out. You can show me the places you love in the city.”...

“It doesn’t pay to live in the past,” my father said. “Get rid of old friends, make the new!”

“I don’t think that’s how it goes,” I said. At any rate, I was here to see if I could make a new sort of friend: her.

“I don’t want to go to old places,” my father said. “It’s not interesting.”

“It interests me,” I said, hating my whininess, my own age-old obstinance.

“You are off the subject,” she said, tapping an insistent pink-polished nail on my notepad. “I’m Stefi now.”

One of the central questions

in this book of tortuous twists and turns is why Steven/Stefi went back to Hungary, a place and a past she worked diligently to leave behind; a country where hatred of Jews, and of gay and transgender people, is alive and well. (Hungary’s ascendant Jobbik party spouts anti-Semitic and homophobic rhetoric.) It seems that even as Stefi was declaring the virtues of forgetting, she’d decided to revisit the scene of the crime. She remembered everything.

As did her daughter. “I think neither of us forgot; we just were trying to forget,” Faludi says now. “It’s one of the deep and abiding questions… about my father’s return: Was this a return to pass—‘This time I’m going to be accepted, I’m going to be 100 percent Hungarian’? Or was it, ‘I’ll show you. Not only am I going to be a Jew, I’m going to be a woman.’ ” The night Susan got the “Changes” e-mail, she and her husband had tickets for a concert performance of a piece by the classical Russian composer Alfred Schnittke. “It was his requiem for his mother,” Faludi remembers, “and I was reading the program notes about how Schnittke, a displaced German-Latvian-Russian-Jewish-Catholic, felt he belonged nowhere. So I was sitting there in tears over the fact that I—you know, I thought I had my father pegged, and I actually knew nothing about this person.” What she knew, she says, “was that there was something that never added up.”

But Susan does reach a tipping point of understanding and even admiration for her father. It happens when the two are visiting one of Stefi’s few friends, a transvestite and retired police officer named Lorelei. The friendship pool in Hungary’s trans community must be pretty slim pickings, because not only is Lorelei a boob, he’s a Nazi sympathizer. He actually has a copy of Mein Kampf on his bookshelf.

Lorelei produces an instruction manual for a video game Stefi had loaned him; it’s titled Jane’s Israeli Air Force.

“It’s one of my flight simulator games,” my father said, and I caught a glint in her eye: It was a gift calculated to mess with Lorelei’s Luftwaffe allegiances. “You play an Israeli Air Force pilot who shoots at the enemies of the Jewish State,” my father said. And you have to choose “a Jewish name.”

“How did it go?” I asked.

“Waaall, I do it very well,” my father said. “I’ve had a lot of practice.

But Lorelei says it was too hard. He kept crashing the plane. He got shot down, and he didn’t even know what hit him.”

Way to go, Stefi, I thought.

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Advice

ASK E. JEAN THE MOMMY MONEY TRAP

my husband to still need her. (Did I mention he’s an only child fed with a silver spoon?) Help!

—Tormented by the Rich and Lonely

DEAR E. JEAN: My new husband’s mother is very rich and very bored. She lives in the country. We live in the city. She has offered to buy us a house, but only if it’s in a spot she approves (i.e., rich, white, Republican). So we’ve gone house hunting and found an awesome Dutch colonial. But now she’s using the money she’s going to give us to buy the house to manipulate how we live our lives.

For instance, I have travel perks with my job, so my husband and I have been planning a trip to San Francisco. She absolutely insists we stay home and not be “so frivolous.” My husband and she had a big fight—and we are taking the trip. But it’s turning into a guilt trip; she’s offering us more money and making us feel like crap because, honestly, she has nothing better to do with her time than try to make up reasons for

Miss Tormented, My Poor Fish: Oh, boy. How do I answer without insulting a mother…

I, uh, have a dog. His name is Lewis Carroll. When Lewis—a rescued poodle the size of a Belmont Stakes champion, his hair pomading half a foot high and his grin gleaming like Eleanor Roosevelt’s—gets loose on the Appalachian Trail and starts humping his way up the mountain, as happy a dog as ever lived on the planet, all I, his mother, have to do is yell and shake a bag of treats.

The result: Lewis abandons his freedom for a biscuit. A biscuit!

Give the lady your respect and your interest, and love her if you can, Tormented. But: I don’t care if she pays for a Dutch colonial flown in from Amsterdam. I don’t care if she

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gives you Graceland. Do not accept the house.

Or you will live the rest of your marriage on a leash. (Because if you think it’s difficult now, wait until you have puppies.)

THE NAKED TRUTH DEAR E. JEAN: I can’t be naked anymore in front of the man I love. Please let me explain. I’m an average-built, small-breasted, pear-shaped woman, size 10. Though I feel hideous now, I’ve always been told I’m very pretty. I’m a professional with my head screwed on straight, but right now, my mind is messed up. Here’s why: After my first crush and I went our separate ways (I was 17 and he was 22), he started his own company, lived the high life, married, divorced, sold his company, and lost a lot of money in bad investments; he’s now trying to raise funds for a new venture. When we met again last year, I was 35 and all the old feelings came roaring back, and now—like a fairy tale—I want to marry

This page: Robert Deutschman/Getty Images. Opposite page: Gregg Delman (styled by Christian Stroble; hair by Eduardo Carrasco at Ford Artists NYC; makeup by Sylwia Rakowska at Ford Artists NYC)

Escape from the overbearing mother, outside-the-box man-meeting, and more

him. Oh, and one more thing: He goes to strip clubs every day.

He swears the women don’t touch him, and he doesn’t touch the women. I’ve gone with him a few times—I’m not a prude—but he’s never once introduced me to his “ friends.” One night, I walked out of the bathroom and saw him standing backstage with his tongue down a young stripper’s throat! (His excuse was that he was “very drunk” and that he’d “never done anything like that before in his life.”)

I know I should not have let that one slide, but I did. Then last Tuesday, I was supposed to pick him up on the way to meet our friends for dinner. I went into the club, and there he was with a young stripper hanging on him. She glared at me and told me that I looked like “a tightly wound bitch” and that “he doesn’t like his bitches tightly wound.”

He never even tried to silence her! It was the bartender who got her to shut up.

You see why I can’t be naked in front of this guy? I’ll never look 22! I lose in every category with these women. I’ve asked him to stop going.

But I learned he was there again last night. So, do I go to the clubs with him, or give him an ultimatum? Or am I really just the “tightly wound bitch” who’s so stupid she works 50 hours a week to support her man?

—Feeling Insecure, Unimportant, and Exhausted My Excellent Miss Exhausted: First things first. Google Signore Pontormo’s (born Jacopo Carucci) Leda and the Swan, and cast your gaze upon the most delicious “averagebuilt, small-breasted, pear-shaped” female in all art.

Mr. Leonardo Da Vinci’s Leda (the original now destroyed, alas—but we have the copies) runs a close second. And Mr. P.P. Rubens’s goddesses romp through the world’s great galleries like mandolin-hipped gazelles, but Pontormo’s is the beauty queen. And you may not read one more word of my answer until you agree that there is no boyish-hipped stripper in the world as peerless as you, Exhausted!

Speaking of which: Second, ditch Mr. Strip Club. His reign of terror is over. My God! What a horrible man! Not because he’s friends with dancers—most are cool, Dear E. Jean: and trust me, one or two I’m eating two pounds of protein a will soak this swine for evday and I’m seeing ery penny he’s raising for the results in my core, but my calf his so-called venture—but muscles are still undeveloped. Help! because when the young —Afraid to Take My woman called you an apSocks Off at the Beach palling name, he did not rectify the injustice, did Afraid, You God not right the wrong, did Among Men: not defend you. He’s a liar, Nobody’s looking at your calves, he’s a drunk, he’s a cheathoney. Ravishing er, he’s a chicken. Get rid regards, Eeee

of him or he’ll go on living off you and torturing you with his brain-scrambling bullshit.

SINGLE RIGHTEOUS FEMALE DEAR E. JEAN: I’m 26, and I love my job (I’m a marketing director) and the people I work for and with. However, there’s a 70-year-old lady here, and since I started work, she copies everything I do and wear. If I join a gym, she joins a gym. If I buy boots, she buys similar boots. If I buy certain makeup, she buys the exact same makeup, and on and on. Now she wants to know my hairdresser’s name and number! I hate to hurt her feelings, but I’ve just about reached the point of screaming. I realize that imitation is the greatest form of flattery, but I could stand to be flattered a whole lot less.

—Uniquely Yours in Atlanta Sleek, Sleek Unique: Love your fan base, Miss Unique.

Do you think Rihanna reaches “the point of screaming” when someone copies (just to choose an instance totally at random) her workout gear? Bah! She wants to clothe the naked pulchritude of the entire world with her own personally designed Puma Creeper shoe.

Anyway, you should be so lucky to live to 70. It’s the best possible age you can be. (Plus, she’s still working! No one’s forced her to retire! Excellent!) Your error is in thinking that the lady is old. No. No. No. The lady is young.

So tear out this column and put it in your bag.

Then leaf through the magazine and choose four or five looks for your friend—looks entirely different from your own. Mark them with Post-its and make her a present of this ELLE (hell, get her a year’s subscription!) with a note saying, “I think you’ll look smashing in these outfits!!”

IT’LL BE RAINING MEN. HALLELUJAH! DEAR E. JEAN: I’m two months away from my twenty-eighth birthday, and I’ve been single my entire 27 years. I work many, many hours a day in an “all-girl” industry. Meeting guys is a challenge. My friends don’t want to see any flaws in me, so they tell me I’m single because I’m “too picky.”

The truth is, I’m not brave enough to admit to them that all these years, I haven’t rejected anyone because no one is interested in me.

I can’t remember the last time I was asked on a date. Worse, I’m Mexican and Catholic, so that means love, romance, and weddings are currently surrounding me. I don’t want a

man because all my friends are getting married and having kids. I’d be happy with a guy just to make out with! Someone to dance with at a wedding would be great!

I’m happy with every aspect of my life except for my nonexistent romantic life. I’d like to change that, and I know that if anyone can help me, it’s you.

—Single and Ready to Mingle Ready, My Young Radish: Gather 10 or 12 sprightly women in your “all-girl industry.”

Form a softball, soccer, volleyball, archery, ballroom dancing, fencing, horseshoe toss, or badminton team. Get club uniforms that frighten chaps (sapphire caps, sequined shorts) while paralyzing them with the desire to kiss you. Practice. Send a sporting challenge to the fellows at a company in an “allboy industry.” Losers buy drinks at a speakeasy afterward. Each month, challenge a different company of fellows. This plan is not only excellent for bringing in new business;

by October you’ll have a beau. Good luck!

Send me a photo of your uniform!

Note: Within about seven minutes of receiving my answer, Miss Ready did send a photo, saying she has hopes for the sports challenge and ending with a “for now I can only send you a pic of my permanent uniform”: And she attached the most fetching photograph of some of her previous design work: five raven-haired beauties, each more ravishing than the last, with a small young lady in the center wearing a veil, silver-tinseled short-shorts, and a white T-shirt with “BRIDE” emblazoned in gold on the front.

Her bodyguard of four stiletto-heeled young ladies with diadems of white flowers in their hair; very tight, very short little skirts; and sexy black T-shirts with gold lettering reading “BRIDE TRIBE” stood left and right. My God! If this is a sample of Miss Ready’s bridesmaids’ outfits, fortunate are the chaps who will be permitted to see her future athletic uniforms! Did I say Miss Ready would have a beau by October? Make that August.

Ask a question!

E.Jean@AskEJean .com or Twitter .com/ejeancarroll.

Read past columns at ELLE.com/lifelove/ask-e-jean/.

You can watch videos, write with anonymity, and exchange genius tips on Advice Vixens at AskEJean .com. And if you like games: Damn Love at the App Store and Google Play.

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SWAROVSKIGROUP.COM

ATELIERSWAROVSKI.COM

Mark Seliger

If you’re putting together ELLE’s first Women in Comedy Issue, the answer is clear: You’ll call Melissa McCarthy, who arrived like a comedic comet in 2011’s box office–busting Bridesmaids and has been banking huge hits, such as The Heat and Spy, ever since. You’ll pull the inimitable Kristen Wiig back from her recent (and glorious) dramatic orbit.

You’ll add a pair of Saturday Night Live standouts: sly, slinky Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones, the inyour-face dynamo Chris Rock has proclaimed “the funniest woman I know.” Now that you have your veritable dream team—one that’s uniting forces in Ghostbusters, the most anticipated comedy of the year—you’ll photograph them looking more chic than ever. But that’s not all: You’ll also round up 14 of the most audacious stand-ups currently selling out clubs across the country. Then, of course, you’ll talk with Tina Fey about her virtuosic band of Kimmy Schmidt stars. And finally, since brilliant, hilarious women—that’s you!—demand a wardrobe as sharp as they are, you’ll fill 20 pages with a sweeping preview of fall fashion: all of the rich ornamentation, quirky colors, and unexpected prints that define the coming season. So feast your eyes. As McCarthy told us, “The joy is palpable.”

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Embellished rivet and tulle silk dress, VERSACE, price on request, similar styles at versace .com. Orange sapphire and black nanoceramic-coated rose gold earrings, DE GRISOGONO, price on request. Suede pumps, BRIAN ATWOOD, $1,030. Her own rings.

For details, see Shopping Guide.

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MELISSA

kicks back with her old friend, shoe designer BRIAN ATWOOD, to talk Bergdorf power shoppers, maniacal tendencies, and being a true Hollywood boss lady PHOTOGRAPHED BY MARK SELIGER STYLED BY SAMIRA NASR INCE HER rough-and-raucous Oscarnominated turn in Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy has carried one blockbuster after another: in 2013, Identity Thief and The Heat; in 2014, Tammy (which she co-wrote and produced with husband Ben Falcone); last summer, the Bond send-up Spy; and, most recently, The Boss (another McCarthy-Falcone production), which grossed $23.5 million in its first weekend. Meanwhile, on the small screen, she’s just wrapped her Emmy-winning role on CBS’s Mike & Molly after six seasons, and she’ll soon revive scatterbrained chef Sookie St. James in Netflix’s Gilmore Girls reboot. But first: Ghostbusters!

McCarthy catches up with her lifelong friend, footwear designer Brian Atwood—a fellow Illinois native and her real-life bridesman—whom we can all thank for convincing a 20-year-old McCarthy to move to New York to go to FIT... and then to go after stand-up instead.

S

MELISSA MCCARTHY: Hi, honey. Are you going

to grill me until I’m sobbing?

BRIAN ATWOOD: It’s not a roast, Miss.

MM: I was already bawling this morning be-

cause I drove [daughters Vivian and Georgette] to school to the new Shakira song. I’d never heard it, and they asked Ben to put it on—“Try Everything” from Zootopia. Cut to me sobbing, “You can do anything, girls!”

BA: You have your feet in so many doors: TV, producing, writing, starring in these hits, your fashion line, Melissa McCarthy Seven7. How do you balance all these arenas?

MM: I think maniacal is a fair word for how involved I am. God, I wish I could learn to be like, “Let me know how it all works out!” If it’s the clothing line, or it’s writing a movie and editing, I always think, Will someone like it better? If I really obsess over “Is a fabric comfy all day?,” will she feel great all day—or will she at three o’clock be like, “I want to get home and get this skirt off!”

BA: I remember your [The Boss] character, Michelle Darnell, in your Groundlings shows.

Who did she come from?

MM: Back when you and I were in New York, we’d go to Bergdorf’s, and you’d talk me into buying shoes that I couldn’t possibly afford.

Also, I blame you for going into incredible credit card debt! I just remember seeing those

women so put together and otherworldly.

When someone’s really confident in their own skin, I’m like, “I could follow you all day.” I wanted to capture that fantastic woman I loved so much and who I am not. Part of the fun of acting is to be that locked-down, done woman for three months, and then I get to go back to my weird jeans. I’m always like, Yeah, my look is more rock ’n’ roll. That’s just because whoever did my hair the day before, I’m like, Still looks good! I’m getting two days out of it.

BA: You’re having a ball. What is it about your comedy that makes people really get it?

MM: I get so psychotically attached to all of my characters, and I fight for them in probably the most annoying way. I hear myself saying to Ben or Paul [Feig, Ghostbusters’ director], “She wouldn’t phrase it that way.” I know it’s such an actory thing, but I feel it to my core: I have to represent the woman I’m getting to be.

Even if she’s fictitious, she’s always real to me: three-dimensional, flawed, loving, screwedup, as real women are.

BA: Who is your Ghostbusters character?

MM: I play Abby. The thing that made me love her so much is that she was a true, true believer.

She studies the paranormal, so she’s constantly being told, “You’re crazy! This doesn’t exist!”

And she just simply continues on to her own beat. I always think, How many remarkable people who came up with inventions and technology and new cures for diseases were told “You’re crazy”? Or Diana Nyad—“You can’t swim that; you’re too old!”—and she just kept jumping in the water.

BA: Did you feel pressure remaking such a classic film?

MM: You want to give everyone who loves it, including yourself, that same familiar feeling. It’s 30 years later; you have to bring it up to modern day. But Paul’s really done it. The first time all four of us had the suits on, the proton packs, weird gear everywhere, we just looked at each other and were like, “Oh my God, we’re making Ghostbusters!”

BA: You’re such a physical comedian. Who are some of the major comedians you love?

MM: I can’t separate the character’s brain from the body. I watch Kristen Wiig; her body changes so much from character to character—in how she holds her hands or walks. Lucille Ball; you’d see it go through her body. Carol Burnett was

never just cerebral; I’ve always admired that. I don’t know how to do it the other way. I want to pretend to be somebody else. I like me fine; I am me. The fun is getting to be somebody else.

BA: I can run lines with you any time.

MM: For the record, Brian Atwood is the worst line runner. Thank God there’s something you don’t do well; you’re too pretty and talented.

You’d be like, “We are going to the lunch and the dinner.” And I’d be like, “No! You don’t hit ‘and’ harder!”

BA: There’s been a lot of debate lately about the term plus size. What do you think?

MM: We should stop categorizing. It’s like saying, “You’re pretty for a redhead.” Just say, “You’re pretty!” My clothing line is 4 to 24.

My goal is to make all women feel incredible. I think of my cousin Jenna, who’s a 6. I’m a 14.

BA: Can you just let ELLE know what you were like as a kid? And your parents?

MM: They never shut me up, which I’m always like, “Good for you, guys!” I was not the mellowest child. I joke that I’m a shark—if I stop moving, I die. I wanted to be in lots of sports, to explore the weird barns. I’m a weird meddler and I always have been. You and I went to the brother-sister schools, where everybody wore the same thing, which you’re wont to do in high school. It’s probably why I started dressing so hard—kind of punk rock. I needed an outlet. I was not gothic in attitude, really.

BA: Gothic... [Laughs] MM: The fun of it was to rip up clothes and put it back together and be like, My turtleneck is my pants!

BA: How does it feel to be one of the most powerful people in Hollywood ?

MM: I don’t know if I ever feel like that. I feel awfully grateful. It never escapes me that I get to do what I’m doing. For a good 20 years, I was always doing plays, doing shows, but it was not my occupation. You keep doing it in spite of never being asked to do it. I wasn’t getting paid, but I loved doing it. And I think doing it for so long changes your perspective when you’re finally asked to do it. I always think, Well, I can still sew. I can always hem pants and do costumes. I enjoyed that.

BA: You wanted to go to FIT. MM: I did! You ruined that; you’re the reason I didn’t finish college. So thanks for that.

BA: You’re welcome, honey.

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KATE

has arrived at a turning point countless comedy hopefuls dream of. Will SNL’s breakout impersonator become the next Amy, Tina, or Kristen? LIZZY GOODMAN gets up close to clock it BOUT AN HOUR into our lunch at a bustling Le Pain Quotidien near the Saturday Night Live studios in midtown Manhattan, Kate McKinnon leans across the table and stage-whispers into my recorder: “This interview is a lot looser than I thought it was going to be.” Thanks to her affectionate but devastatingly on-point impressions of Justin Bieber, Ellen DeGeneres, and, of course, Hillary Clinton, McKinnon has, in her four years on SNL, established herself as the one you’d vote most likely to follow in the collective footsteps of Poehler, Fey, and Wiig. With several movies coming down the pike, including Ghostbusters, in which she’ll play scientist Jillian Holtzmann; December’s Jennifer Aniston–led Office Christmas Party; and the upcoming Scarlett Johansson bachelorette-party romp Rock That Body, McKinnon may well make that jump from girl-you’ve-seen-on-TV to Hollywood player before the year is out.

But on this cold spring morning, she’s feeling a little under the weather and is wearing a college student’s sweats-and-sneakers combo (“I look so casual, they probably can’t see me”). Still, there’s little McKinnon could do to dampen her charisma. Aside from the obvious star attributes—big blue eyes, central casting good looks—she possesses the kind of physical dexterity that allows the best comics to fully embody and amplify their characters, from the B-boy hitch in Bieber’s gait to the cartoonish stiffness of Angela Merkel to Mrs. Clinton’s epic laugh. “I think with Kate, there’s just such an ease out there,” says SNL executive producer Lorne Michaels. “I know inside it’s more complicated than that”—he chuckles—“but she has that thing that is the secret to the show, which is making it look easy.” Her charm, by all accounts, is not easily turned off. Ghostbusters director Paul Feig describes her as “one of the most genuinely warm people. She’s like a cat—she touches you, she’s going to hug you; she’s just very tactile.”

McKinnon continues, pulling pieces of fennel out of my salad from across the table and popping them into her mouth between thoughts: “I wasn’t prepared for this level of candor, and I hope I’m not going to get in

A

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trouble.” To be clear, she has at this point revealed only that she grew up on Long Island, is 32, studied art history and theater at Columbia University, and recently decided to try on veganism—though she’s not sure she wants that last thing printed, “just because of the social embarrassment of having to say that I’m a vegan,” she says. When the waitress inally brings her chia muin, McKinnon cuts the thing in half, wraps one piece in a napkin, and slips it into her bag like somebody’s grandmother, explaining, “This is my dessert.”

“She has such a star quality, but she’s a homebody,” says SNL writer Sarah Schneider. “For Christmas this year, we got her a giant sweater with a huge pouch on the front that her cat can go in,” adds Chris Kelly, Schneider’s writing partner. “The cat sits in the front of the sweater. That’s how I think of her.” Kelly irst met McKinnon in 2008 when they were both involved with the Upright Citizens Brigade. Straight out of college, McKinnon had been cast as a regular on the Rosie O’Donnell–produced The Big Gay Sketch Show, which aired on the then-LGBT-focused network Logo and lasted three seasons. (McKinnon is one of the few openly gay SNL cast members in the show’s history.) When Big Gay Sketch Show was canceled, she did what struggling actors do: lived briely in Los Angeles while auditioning and worked soul-crushing jobs in New York City. In McKinnon’s case, these included teaching (and telemarketing) SAT prep courses. “I really don’t like to ever ask anyone for anything or criticize anyone, so it was very hard for me to ask people to spend their money,” she recalls. “I don’t know if you can tell, I’m sort of a Wasp. I’m wearing pearls under this.”

McKinnon was raised by her mother, a social worker and parent educator with Scottish roots, and her father, an architect of German heritage. Waspy though they may have been, they were also creative role models. Her dad, who died when McKinnon was in high school, played the drums. “I know, hot, right?” she quips. They were also serious comedy nerds who watched Mel Brooks movies as a family and religiously tuned in to SNL. “It was just the way in which they

both processed the universe, and we took it on,” says McKinnon, whose younger sister, Emily, is a stand-up comedian. Not that she needed much encouragement to live an irreverent life: After McKinnon returned from a family trip to Disney World as a kindergartner, her teacher called her mom, concerned that McKinnon had lost the ability to tell the diference between fantasy and reality. “I did wear a Peter Pan costume for a whole year,” she recalls. “It was just so comfortable.” McKinnon likes to think that in high school, she was “so uncool that I circled back to cool.” She took the hour-long train ride into the city a couple of times a year to see a Broadway show and attended, to her recollection, a single party.

McKinnon talks often about how her way into each character is afection, an approach Michaels has helped her hone. “If you’re editorializing, where you’re doing an impression of somebody but also signaling that you really dislike this person, it’s too many signals, and it’s not fun to watch,” Michaels says. “Kate does it with such a light touch.”

If McKinnon doesn’t admire or relate to the person, she can’t pretend to be them. “It seems like she’s hard on herself, and that comes from a very earnest desire to do good, and I know I’m the same way,” the actress says of Hillary Clinton. But until McKinnon was cast as Ghostbusters’ Holtzmann, a character that she says is closer to her actual self than any she’s played so far, she thought of her work as the by-product of some psychological dysfunction. “I used to think that I was covering up for something dark within me,” she says. “For sketch comedians in particular, there is the kind of sadness that comes with being an overly observant person. If you’re observant, you’ll probably end up bummed out a lot of the time.” But she understands herself diferently these days: “I came to a reckoning that [pretending to be other people] is in fact such a real, huge chunk of the way I communicate. I thought it was something I was putting on to disguise something else, but it’s not.” So, what she’s saying is that in real life McKinnon is, in fact, Justin Bieber? “That is what I am telling you, yes,” she says with a grin.

Feathered coat, $5,250, silk dress, $1,650, both, CALVIN KLEIN COLLECTION, at Calvin Klein Collection, NYC. Diamond and white gold earrings, $7,800 (for pair), pendant necklace, $4,650, rings, $6,400–$9,250 each, all, CHANEL FINE JEWELRY. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Cotton-blend dress, DOLCE & GABBANA, $2,395, at select Dolce & Gabbana boutiques nationwide. Blue sapphire and rose gold earrings, $13,700, rose gold bracelet, $23,500, both, POMELLATO. Gold and diamond bracelet, JOHN HARDY, $19,500. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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LESLIE

slays on SNL and skewers just about everyone in her in-your-face stand-up (herself included). Now she casts her spell on our own BEN DICKINSON

I

JUST KNEW that I was funny, and I knew that it was just a matter of time. I didn’t know what was going to actually happen—this is deinitely way bigger than I thought—but I knew there was no way I was going to be that funny and nobody was going to notice it.”

A matter of time—as in, say, a quarter century; that’s the indomitable voice of Leslie Jones, who has lately blossomed—exploded—into one of the great success stories in the history of comedy. As an ever-more-valuable cast member on NBC’s hallowed Saturday Night Live and a marquee Ghostbusters presence as streetsmart New York City subway worker Patty Tolan, Jones, at 48, is suddenly a multiplethreat candidate for superstardom—and boy, is she ready.

Jones’s saga is the stuf of ready-made movie lore: Born in Memphis and raised in Lynwood, California (right next to Compton), the six-foot-tall Jones followed her basketball coach to Colorado State University, but in 1987, she dropped out in the middle of her sophomore year when, on a lark, she winged it in a comedy competition and killed. Back in L.A., however, on the comedy circuit, she very much did not kill. In fact, she stopped doing stand-up altogether for six years and took a series of sales and service jobs to get by (she continued waitressing even after she started performing again).

When Jones lopes unassumingly into a conference room high in 30 Rock one sunny day this spring in casual athleticwear, she wastes no time pussyfooting around her past. In person, she’s incredibly open; I’m immediately loored by how direct, engaging, and heartfelt she is with a perfect stranger and surely the umpteenth media interloper. “My parents and my family and me were really worried that I was crazy,” she recalls about her girlhood. “I remember asking my dad about a picture he had taken of me when I was younger, and he was like, ‘Oh, yeah, that’s the day I told you that you were crazy, and I needed you to see what you looked like.’ And I did—I looked like I had just done something absolutely insane. So I never thought of it as comedy; I just thought I was a weird kid.”

A big part of Jones’s comic genius is that

she launts that aura of vulnerability alongside a ierce, fearless, ferocious sense of self.

In her breakthrough 2010 stand-up special, ittingly titled Problem Child, which aired on Showtime, she charges right at body-image issues (“I’m not saying I ain’t pretty—I’m just saying it would take a long time for me to get pretty”) and later steps ofstage to savagely invade the personal space of a few of what she calls “pretty bitches” in the audience. But she speaks so frankly about desire and longing and the feeling of being an outsider that she defuses any sense of catty competitiveness by invoking the fundamental absurdity of the human condition.

In 2012, Jones got back on the radar of Chris Rock, who’d worked the comedy circuit with her many years earlier. Rock ofered encouraging words and—more importantly—convinced SNL’s head honcho, Lorne Michaels, to audition her. “He was obviously a big champion of hers,” Michaels says. “He said, ‘You just have to meet with her, because I think she belongs there.’ We met, and I wasn’t sure how best to use her, so I brought her in as a writer. She was staggeringly funny. I’d never seen anything like her.” Within months, she broke into the cast—most memorably, with a Weekend Update routine about how she has trouble getting dates today but would have been a number one “slave draft pick” back in antebellum days.

It didn’t rub everybody the right way, to say the least, but it certainly announced Jones’s presence with viral energy. Since then, she has shifted rapidly and efectively from standup to skit humor on the show; her uproarious recent spoof of Discovery Channel’s Naked and Afraid was one for the ages, with Jones playing maternal lioness to guest host Peter Dinklage’s approximation of a nervous woodland creature.

Playing rough is clearly Jones’s comfort zone, though: As director Paul Feig remembers it, when Jones came to the Ghostbusters set for the irst camera test, “Everybody was there when Leslie came in, and it was like Don Rickles had walked into the room. She just started roasting the crew. To one of my DPs, it was, ‘Oh, man, you skinny motherfucker, you got to eat a sandwich!’ And to another guy, she’s

like, ‘What the fuck you wearing shorts for?’

My God, it was so funny—I remember the crew just kind of being like, ‘Wow, all right.’ ” SNL’s former head writer, leading cast member, and all-around wunderkind Colin Jost can attest to receiving similar treatment; Jones’s lovelorn jones for him is a running gag on Weekend Update. (Jones on Jost: “When I irst got here, I used to chase Jost through the hallways and just be harassing him like, ‘You’re so sexy, you creamy motherfucker!’ ”) As Jost says of their Update pairing, “It was really like ripping a Band-Aid of. I was jarred into the chemistry that we have, and I was so grateful for it. I was so used to being a writer, and she just shocked me awake and made me go back to my instincts. It’s really fun to be out there with her now, because you’re just reacting—it’s very freeing.”

And that seems to be Jones’s core motivation.

She’s deeply concerned that we’ve tied ourselves into self-conscious knots—and the situation urgently needs correction. “I am ready for everybody to start acting normal again,” Jones declares. “This Internet shit has completely screwed up everybody. What we need to realize is that we are the most unhappy, insecure fucking nation ever…. This is a world of selishness, homey, and that’s what’s gonna kill us, because we’re not supposed to be selish, we’re supposed to be together.” That, in a word, is Jones’s Mission: Possible—lighten up, because we’re all in this together. Motherfucker.

The truth is, Jones carries within her a purposefulness of humane engagement that probably stems in part from her religious upbringing—and is profoundly endearing. “Everybody knows,” she blurts out next, “and if you don’t know you should know, that when you’re feeling bad about your life, go out and do something for somebody else. I swear before God that will change everything. Helping someone else literally helps you. You know what I try to do every day when I get up? I try to have four compliments I give. Whether it be for the doorman or whoever—‘Oh man, loving the shoes, dude!’—that shit is like electricity. It multiplies like a motherfucker.”

So there’s your badass Leslie Jones: in all honesty, America’s sweetheart.

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KRISTEN

opens up to comedy soul mate WILL FERRELL about nude body stockings, creative fulfillment, and (not) being Harry Styles

I

F ANYONE DESERVES the overused descriptor “genre-defying,” it’s Kristen Wiig. As a solipsistic lottery winner in the dark comedy Welcome to Me, a powerdressed PR exec covering for NASA in The Martian, or a stunted young mother in the indie hit The Diary of a Teenage Girl, Wiig delivers emotive intelligence without fail. As Craig Johnson, her director in The Skeleton Twins, once told us: “Kristen’s brain works two seconds faster than the human brain.”

In seven seasons on Saturday Night Live, Wiig appeared in 705 sketches, populating not just the show but the culture with indelible characters—Target Lady and the one-upping Penelope among them. Then Bridesmaids made her a movie star and an Academy Award–nominated screenwriter (and the most GIF’d woman on the planet).

Here, longtime friend and colleague Will Ferrell—who played her other half in Lifetime’s fabulously baffling A Deadly Adoption, in faux–celebrity couple “Willsten” (complete with matching moniker hoodies), and in Zoolander 2’s heavy-canoodling duo—takes her back. Way back.

WILL FERRELL: How great was The Groundlings? I think you and I share the same belief, like, “Gosh, if I hadn’t found a place like that, I don’t know if I would’ve found a way.”

KRISTEN WIIG: It completely changed my life.

All through school, I just hated talking in front of class—I would get so nervous, I’d get sick. But there’s something about being onstage with someone else where you’re looking at them, you’re not really looking at the people who are listening to you, if that makes sense? Plus, you’re not yourself. I’m not the person who at a party will be like, “Hey guys, I have a story. Everyone gather ’round.”

WF: I beg to differ.

KW: I’m really not! I’m not comfortable holding court. In the middle of talking, I’m like, Everyone’s looking at me. What’s my mouth doing? At The Groundlings, you realize, Oh, when I do this or write this, someone laughs.

And you also see really, really talented people fail, so it’s ingrained from the beginning that it’s part of it.

WF: So, Saturday Night Live. What was the

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first thing you got to do on the show? Was it all almost too enormous to be nervous?

KW: My very first show I got on something that I wrote. I was weirdly less nervous for that than I was for the first sketch I was in, which was about someone being pregnant in their butt. I think it was Poehler, and we had a baby shower for her and— WF: God, that’s good.

KW: I was scared that I was going to freeze or swear or pass out.

WF: Plus you have to stand up in that first pitch meeting and go, “Hi, I’m Kristen and here are my ideas.” It’s terribly awkward.

KW: I was nervous about that the entire time I was there. And that 10 seconds after you pitch—it’s always a little bit too long before the next person goes, and you just get really hot.

WF: I loved it when you danced to the Sia song at the Grammys.

KW: [That] was actually very therapeutic and kind of emotional.

WF: Really?

KW: Yeah, I had to internalize what joy meant. And it was so out of my comfort zone: (a) Dancing. (b) Are people gonna say, “What the fuck is going on here?” And then I had to wear that leotard. But I was like, You know what? This is about just doing it, and who cares? And we did it, and it was one of the most creatively fulfilling things I’ve ever done.

WF: Let’s talk about your appearances on Jimmy Fallon. You’ve been Peyton Manning.

You’ve been what’s-her-face from Game of Thrones?

KW: Uh-huh, Khaleesi.

WF: Khaleesi. You’ve been Michael Jordan.

KW: Mm-hmm. Oh, and Harry Styles.

WF: One thing that’s so exciting is the moment of anticipation, that the audience, for half a second, thinks it’s going to be the real person.

KW: Oh, yeah. When I was Peyton Manning, they started clapping and screaming and looking at each other with their mouths open going, “Oh my God! Peyton Manning!” And then I walk out, and they’re just like, “Oh.” WF: So, Gwyneth Paltrow. You know she has her Goop line of products and website, which I believe is hair care, or is it cosmetics?

KW: I think it’s everything.

WF: Would you ever think of starting your own and call it Snoop? And it’s all things that are Snoop Dogg–focused?

KW: I mean, if you wanna go in on it with me, I’d be interested.

WF: Okay. So, I have some titles of hypothetical movies. Can you give me just a quick storyline of each one? The first is God Can’t Stop Crying When I’m Wearing Jeans.

KW: Okay, it’s about a struggling country music star, Hank Melon. He grew up on the wrong side of the track with not a lot of money, and he makes it really big on a song called “My Jeans.” And he gets in a really bad car accident and— WF: And perseveres.

KW: Oh, no. He dies.

WF: Okay, gotcha. Movie number two: The Calico Project.

KW: John Lithgow plays a scientist in Albuquerque who discovers something fishy is going on with the water department. His stepson, who he has a really bad relationship with, hacks into their computer system, and they solve it together and then, you know, get closer.

WF: Okay, here’s my hardest question, and I hope I’m not crossing a line by asking it: What’s your character like in Ghostbusters?

KW: I play a woman named Erin who used to be a believer. I’m very close to Melissa McCarthy’s character, and we believed in ghosts—we wrote a book about it—and after sort of being ostracized and made fun of, I left that life and became a professor in physics and believed only in science and then…

WF: Now you’ve gotten pulled back in?

KW: Yeah, and then Kate’s and Leslie’s characters come into the group! So it’s like a repairing old friendships and not being afraid to say what you believe in kind of thing.

WF: How many times do you think you’ll be asked if you believe in ghosts?

KW: Every time.

WF: Kristen Wiig, I adore you. I think you’re one of the most talented, funniest people ever, of all time.

KW: That means a lot to me. You’re one of my favorite people in the world. Thanks for doing this. I’m sending over a brand-new wallet for you as a gift.

Crystal-embroidered denim shirt, MIU MIU, $5,930, at select Miu Miu boutiques nationwide. Lace bra, ARAKS, $150. Diamond and platinum earrings, necklace, rings, all, HARRY WINSTON, prices on request. Embroideredsuede boots, GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI DESIGN, $3,395.

For details, see Shopping Guide.

Hair by Ted Gibson at TedGibsonBeauty .com; makeup by Lisa Storey at the Wall Group for Lancôme (Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig) and by Romy Soleimani at Tim Howard Management for Beauty.com (Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones); manicure by Emi Kudo at Opus Beauty for Dior Beauty (McCarthy and Wiig) and by Gina Edwards at Kate Ryan Inc. for Dior Beauty (McKinnon and Jones); fashion assistant: Yashua Simmons

Fey wears: Wool top, $1,110, trousers, $1,440, both, VICTORIA BECKHAM. Bra, CALVIN KLEIN UNDERWEAR, $40. Pendant necklace, BULGARI, $5,450. Krakowski wears: Wool gabardine and leather dress, NARCISO RODRIGUEZ, $1,085. Earring, MATEO NEW YORK, $1,125 (for pair). Bracelets, both, BULGARI, $13,800 each. Kane wears: Flower brooch, CHANEL, $675.

Her own jacket, skirt, and earrings.

Kemper wears: Wool-blend dress, DOLCE & GABBANA, $2,445. For details, see Shopping Guide.

Hair by Ted Gibson at Jed Root for tedgibsonbeauty.com; makeup by Christian McCulloch at Tim Howard Management for Dolce & Gabbana Beauty; manicure

by Dida at Ray Brown Pro for Dior Beauty; production by www.wanted-media.com; fashion assistant: Claudia Torres-Rondon

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RIOT GIRLS

If the foundation of the best comedians is time spent and punch lines delivered on the stand-up stage, these 14 women are rock solid. Now they’re settling in as club mainstays, podcasters, writers’ room wunderkinds, best-selling authors, TV leading ladies, and even all of the above. Buckle up.

Photographed by Max Vadukul Styled by Emily Barnes 132

1. TIFFANY HADDISH ONSCREEN: The Carmichael

Show; Real Husbands of Hollywood; Key and Peele’s Keanu. SHTICK: Painfully honest (and honestly raunchy) physical comedy.

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2. NICOLE BYER TV: MTV’s Girl Code; Party

Over Here; leads an upcoming MTV original comedy. START WITH: Sasheer Zamata–directed UCB sketch “Be Blacker.”

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3. JULIE KLAUSNER TV: Creator/star of Hulu’s

semiautobiographical Difficult People. BIGGEST FAN: Amy Poehler, a DP executive producer.

4. KATE BERLANT

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TV: Netflix’s The Characters.

UP NEXT: Comedy Central and truTV pilots; Vimeo series.

START WITH: Stand-up routine “Stealing Cosmetics.”

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5. ILIZA SHLESINGER TV: Stand-up specials Freezing

Hot, War Paint, and Confirmed Kills; host of TBS game show Separation Anxiety. BIG BREAK: Youngest (and only female) winner of NBC’s Last Comic Standing.

6. EMMA WILLMANN HOST: First Time podcast,

about guests’…first periods.

CHECK OUT: SiriusXM comedy

show The Check Spot.

7. CAMERON ESPOSITO TV: Marriage Material stand-up

special; mockumentary Take My Wife. CHECK OUT: 2014 album Same Sex Symbol.

8. BETH STELLING CRED: TV writer; stand-up on

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Comedy Central’s The Half Hour; top-selling comedy album Simply the Beth. START WITH: 2015 Jimmy Kimmel Live! set on her aw-shucks Ohio roots.

9. MICHELLE BUTEAU TV: Key & Peele; Broad City; cohost of VH1’s Big Morning Buzz Live. UP NEXT: ABC comedy pilot Dream Team.

10. JEN KIRKMAN CRED: Chelsea Lately writer; 2015 Netflix comedy special; weekly podcast. MEMOIR NO. 2: I Know What I’m Doing—and Other Lies I Tell Myself.

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11. EMILY HELLER CRED: TV writer/actor; The Future Web series creator; Baby Geniuses podcaster.

SHTICK: Women’s studies nerd.

12. NATASHA LEGGERO TV: Comedy Central’s Another

Period; Showtime’s Dice.

CROWNING ACHIEVEMENTS:

Comedy Central roasts (poor James Franco!).

13. LAUREN LAPKUS

ONSCREEN: The Characters;

Orange Is the New Black; Jurassic World. CHECK OUT: With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus podcast, on which guests interview her characters.

14. APARNA NANCHERLA

For details, see Shopping Guide.

WRITERS’ ROOM: Totally Biased With W. Kamau Bell; Late Night With Seth Meyers.

NEW GIG: Season four player on Inside Amy Schumer.

—Brianna Kovan

Wool jacket, $3,490, sequin-embellished silk tulle blouse, $2,490, crystal and brass earrings, $895, all, SAINT LAURENT, at Saint Laurent, NYC. For details, see Shopping Guide.

Beauty Secret: Sweep MILK MAKEUP Face Gloss over lids and lips (and cheekbones) for ethereal dewiness. Or try CHANEL Gloss Volume Plumping Lipgloss for brilliant luster.

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Silk dress, lambskin pants, both, prices on request, palladiumfinished brass and crystal earrings, $810, palladium and calfskin rings, $430 (for set of three), gold-finished brass and calfskin ring, $365, gold-finished brass ring, $730, calfskin handbag, $6,500, calfskin ankle boots, $1,677, all, LOUIS VUITTON, visit louisvuitton.com.

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Cashmere jacket, $2,795, pants, $2,095, top, $1,695, plastic earrings, $945, suede pumps, $1,095, all, GIORGIO ARMANI, at Giorgio Armani boutiques nationwide. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Right: Leather coat, $6,200, viscose jersey turtleneck, $1,600, wool jersey skirt, price on request, technical jersey leggings, $590, calfskin handbag, $2,650, sandals, $1,150, all, CÉLINE, collection at Bergdorf Goodman, NYC. Far right: Flock tweed jacket, $6,990, dress, $4,900, metalized lambskin and felt hat, $3,100, sunglasses, $475, metal strass earring, $450 (for pair), metal, glass, and resin bracelets, $1,700 each, tweed and calfskin boots, $2,100, all, CHANEL, call 800-550-0005. He holds: Tweed and lambskin handbag, $3,800, lambskin and metal handbag, $2,450, resin pearl and metal necklace, $6,850, all, CHANEL. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Wool jacket, $2,895, skirt, $1,295, faux-fur collar, $695, leather pumps, $995, all, CALVIN KLEIN COLLECTION, at Calvin Klein Collection, NYC.

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Shearling coat, $7,895, silk dress, $1,450, metal earrings, choker, calfskin ankle boots, all, prices on request, all, VERSACE, visit versace .com. On him: Cashmere coat, VERSACE, $7,995.

Cotton denim jeans, A.P.C., $235. Canvas sneakers, CONVERSE, $55. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Silk top, $1,265, embroidered-silk skirt, $7,450, calfskin handbags, $2,200–$2,550 each, calfskin and embroidered-silk boots, $3,750, all, BALENCIAGA, at Balenciaga, NYC. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Wool-blend dress, $2,745, studded brass collar, $4,845, crystal and brass pin, $415, all, DOLCE & GABBANA, at select Dolce & Gabbana boutiques nationwide. Mink and fox fur handbag, TOD’S, $3,575. Printed calf-hair pumps, JIMMY CHOO, $895.

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Cotton and velvet dress, $3,300, ceramic and fox fur watch, $1,395, suede and calfskin handbag, $3,450, leather gaiters, $1,750, velvet mules, $950, all, FENDI, visit fendi.com. On him: Jersey trousers, BURBERRY, $450.

His own necklace. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Right: Wool jacket, $2,420, cloqué dress, $3,990, denim corset, $895, leather belt, $445, agenda, $480, key chain, $220, wool socks, $270, patent leather sandals, price on request, all, PRADA, at select Prada boutiques nationwide. On him: Bouclé cape, $5,610, chevron pants, $1,170, metal key charm, $285, leather shoes, price on request, all, PRADA. Far right: Viscose knit dress, $2,990, ciré coat, $4,950, calfskin handbag, $1,495, boots, $1,130, all, PROENZA SCHOULER, visit proenzaschouler.com. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Wool cape, $3,700, crepe de Chine dress, $3,200, glasses, price on request, gold watch on nylon strap, $845, green tourmaline, topaz, and white gold ring, $10,500, glass pearl, resin, and gold-finished metal ring, $520, hand chain, $1,150, suede handbag, $2,400, cotton socks, $115, embellished-suede and snakeskin pumps, $1,850, all, GUCCI, visit gucci.com. On him: Wool knit cardigan, $5,850, knit tank, $850, cotton pants, $530, sunglasses, $340, diamond, emerald, and pink gold ring, $21,500, blue topaz, sapphire, and white gold ring, $10,500, leather and fur slides, $1,800, all, GUCCI. His own necklace and socks.

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Far left: Wool Lurex dress, $2,450, bra top, $500, silver, gold, and jade ring, $520, calfskin pumps, $740, all, BOTTEGA VENETA, call 800-845-6790. Left: Wool Lurex dress, $2,450, bra top, $550, python belt, $470, embossed-python leather handbag, $3,000, calfskin ankle boots, $990, all, BOTTEGA VENETA. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Right: Embroidered jacquard dress, $7,695, crepe de Chine scarf, $150, calfskin boots, $1,325, all, CHLOÉ, at Chloé boutiques nationwide.

Far right: Printed dress, CHLOÉ, $7,995.

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Suede jacket, $4,390, pants, $2,990, boots, $795, silk shirt, $850, tie, $195, all, RALPH LAUREN COLLECTION, visit ralphlauren.com. For details, see Shopping Guide.

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Wool knit sweater, $1,100, cotton jacquard skirt, $1,400, palladium- and gold-finished metal, glass, and crystal ear cuffs, $810 (for set of five), gold-finished metal and crystal rings, $780 each, gold-finished metal, glass, and multicolor crystal ring, $590, crocodile, lizard, and printed-calfskin ankle boots, $1,500, all, DIOR, at Dior boutiques nationwide.

Wool mohair coat, $3,695, jacquard shirtdress, $2,195, python-printed water snake handbag, $2,495, all, BURBERRY, visit burberry.com. Leather and snakeskin pumps, JIMMY CHOO, $1,250. On him: Nylon twill bomber, $1,595, jersey tracksuit jacket, $595, cashmere scarf, $295, denim jeans, $450, all, BURBERRY. Canvas sneakers, CONVERSE, $55. For details, see Shopping Guide.

Hair by Ward at the Wall Group for Living Proof; makeup by Alice Lane at the Wall Group for Chanel; manicure

by Geraldine Holford at the Wall Group for Dior Beauty; casting by Sisi Chonco for Zan Casting; models: Hedvig Palm at Next Models and Perceval Rebechae; set design by Lou Asaro at Marek and Associates; production by wantedmedia.com; fashion assistants: Daniel Gaines and Megan Soria

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Continued from page 43

JACOBSON: There can only be, like, 20.

BLOOM: There can only be, like, three.

JACOBSON: Every show that comes out that’s female-driven is compared to the last femaledriven show, as if it’s taking over.

BLOOM: One of the ways that my show has been most successful is when it’s dealing with women’s issues, like Spanx and plucking and having heavy tits. That’s why it feels like, creatively, an advantage.

CHO: I would love Jennifer Lawrence’s money.

But I’m just so grateful that I’m not cleaning fish, which is what I would be doing. [Group laughs] When we’re talking about feminism, I get sort of lost in the argument. Because as a woman of color, I don’t know where I belong in this argument.

Where do I say, “I would be happy to have less money”? How do you fight for your rights when I’m supergrateful to be here at all?

SYKES: Yeah. I’m just happy to have a seat at the table.

BLOOM: That quality is what makes women great collaborators; we understand it’s a team effort.

Even if it comes from society telling us to be polite.

CHO: I just think women are funnier than men.

There’s a lot of guy comics who I think are funny, but I generally am more excited about a special or a show where there are females.

ELLE: Do you like being called a “woman comedian”?

SYKES: Just a comedian. It’s demeaning when someone comes up to you and goes, “Oh my God, you’re my favorite female comic.”

GLAZER: It’s interesting, gender versus race. I think people say that to women more: “Oh, you’re my favorite female.” They wouldn’t say “favorite black comic.”

BLOOM: Also, who came up with the comedienne thing? The female comedian.

SYKES: I thought it was a French thing.

BLOOM: Oh, is it?

GLAZER: Well, I don’t like it. Even the actor thing.

Someone said recently, Do they call them doctresses? What are we doing? This is a fake thing.

CHO: I always think of Shari Lewis’s Lamb Chop.

That’s a comedienne…. I like stand-up comic better. Just comic.

ELLE: Do you think you can be a feminist and also make jokes about women’s looks and outfits?

CHO: I’m not a body shamer. The word fat has been used to hurt me my entire life. I could never make a joke about somebody unless I could say it to their face and they’d laugh. I don’t want to hurt anybody because of their looks. That’s been used to hurt me so much.

BLOOM: Being good at fashion and beauty and girly stuff has been such a point of insecurity for me; I’m not good at coming up with jokes that make fun of other people for that, because I don’t 154

IT’S A DOLL WORLD

Continued from page 113

make me a hollowed-out version of my former self or a messy bar patron with a bad bleach job. They allowed [me] to really meet myself. I wish that for every lady who has ever struggled. There’s really no shame. Night, dolls.”

I’M PICKING UP WHAT LENA’S putting down. I have friends, family, who’ve come into their own and stayed there thanks to the pills they take and therapy, too. Their emergence was beautifully obvious. Mine, less so. I’d ask friends, “I seem better, right?”

I think I did feel brighter on Lexapro, but looking back, I’m not certain whether it was the drug itself or if I was simply feeling proactive—good that I was caretaking myself. Now that I’m not on anything, I’m trying to remember how much better I felt when medicated. Wouldn’t even a little be a lot? I’m hardly tripping the light fantastic. On a scale of gray, I’m feeling dove.

“There’s like a 60 to 65 percent chance that antidepressants can help some,” says J. Wesley Boyd, MD, PhD, a psychiatrist on the faculty of Harvard Medical School who specializes in bioethics and substance-use disorders. “Among the people who take [an SSRI] five or six weeks—which is considered a whole trial—only about two-thirds of them are going to have any response, and the response is often not necessarily robust.”

Math being my worst subject, I’m having a hard time drilling down into those statistics. “In general, the efficacy of medications is way oversold,” Boyd explains. “Also in general, I think psychiatric medications are way overprescribed; they’re overused,” and often not even prescribed by psychiatrists. “Probably 80 percent of psychiatric medications are prescribed by ob-gyns, family practitioners, internists,” Boyd says, adding that people with mild to moderate depression should definitely try other remedies first, “like talk therapy, attention to better sleep, exercising, de-stressing with yoga or meditation.”

That said, “in some cases people come in and they’re profoundly depressed. They can’t even talk, so they’re not going to make use of talk therapy,” Boyd says. For them, medication is the answer.

But I seem okay, right?

It’s this kind of overthinking, navel-gazing, self-centered vacillation that would send me back to my medicine cabinet, where, checking the expiration dates on my leftover antidepressants, I’d prescribe myself one of my old prescriptions. The doctor is in! Holly Millea, BA, WebMD. I envy those who are certain their meds are working—who have found their magic bullet. At a recent screening, I ran into a publicist I’m friendly with, whom I hadn’t seen in months. Instead of her usually hyperstressed state, she seemed blissed out, like a woman in love. Do tell! “Well, in Febru-

From left: Jean Francois Campos; 20th Century Fox/courtesy of Everett Collection

IN ON THE JOKE

feel like I have a mastery of it myself.

SYKES: What does feminism mean to you? [Sykes nods in the direction of Glazer and Jacobson.]

GLAZER: For our show, it’s the balance of talking about it and not talking about it. Sometimes I want to forget my gender. But other times it’s like, No, I’m a fucking wo-man and my comedy comes from it and my experiences come from it. Eventually, hopefully, we find some space where we’re not talking about all our checklist things, but instead more about our personalities.

BLOOM: Aline Brosh McKenna, my cocreator, says that feminism is for female characters to get to be assholes. But [Rebecca Bunch] is a character we’ve created; she doesn’t have to be a symbol for feminism. If I could create my own utopia, it would be this genderless world where we didn’t have to talk about it. There is so much more to me than my parts and what I wear, what my clothes are.

SYKES: Which takes us back to Will and Jada.

[Group laughs] SYKES: When you say you’re just trying to be: You’re not thinking about things, you’re just going to be yourself, right? And not thinking about being a woman. And then you always get this, if you’re at a bar or something, they’ll say, “What can I get you, sweetie?” All of a sudden. It’s like, You motherfucker! You just came in and patted me on the head. You’re not being a gentleman. You’re just putting me beneath you. “Hey, sweetheart, what can I get you?” I don’t know you!

[Group laughs] JACOBSON: Okay, so we had just sold the show script. I’m like, Life is changing! We’re going out to celebrate; we sit down at this bar, and [my friend] Bethany goes to the bartender, “We’re getting drinks to celebrate.” And the bartender goes, “Oh, did you get engaged?”

[A collective ah/ugh/sigh] BLOOM: I got married a couple of months before Crazy Ex went to series, and I kept getting questions at press conferences that were like, “So, your husband wasn’t expecting this, right? How’s he feeling?” It was such a weird question; I didn’t know what to say.

GLAZER: You say, Fuck you.

BLOOM: I guess you say fuck you, but at the time I was like, “He’s fine!”

GLAZER: Yeah, in the moment I’m like, duhhhh duhhhh.

BLOOM: The guy who directed the pilot for my show and I were interviewing someone. They were talking about a mutual friend—“Oh yeah, my friend Brad.” And then [the man being interviewed] turns to me and goes, “You probably dated him.” It was such a weird bit, so I was like, “Ah yes, we spent a lovely summer in Hawaii, and we wrote a novel together but then we burned it”—just yes-anding his bit. And he was like, “No, that guy doesn’t commit.”

Like, he couldn’t even do the bit. And then he walked out. My cocreator and line producer were like, “He just sexually harassed a woman who would be his boss. No way is he getting this job.” Have you ever had a background guy call you “sweetie”?

GLAZER: This one [background actor] was like, “Great tits.”

BLOOM: Nooo!

GLAZER: I know. Have you seen the show? I know.

Now you’re not in the scene anymore.

ary I was having moments when I was getting flustered and out of breath on my job,” she began. “So I went to the doctor for my annual checkup, and she suggested 30 of these Xanax pills—and I was very paranoid about taking anything, but she said, ‘If you take it, just bite a little chip when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Try it for 30 days.’

“And I did. Every day I would take a little chip when I needed to, and it was really weird what happened. I’m working this movie premiere under a lot of pressure, and I just start bawling like I’d had a baby and my milk was coming in.” She laughs. “Something inside me just vomited up all the stress I’d been holding in since my divorce and being a single mom, and worrying, worrying.

I think the meds kind of helped me open up that window to let me release it. It was powerful. So now I just take little chips when I’m feeling a lot of pressure or overwhelmed or getting on an airplane. It’s changed my life, actually.”

I tell her how happy I am to see her so happy.

When she asks about me, I joke, “I’m still suffering for my art.” I have it in my head that anxiety keeps me keen, my senses sharp. (They don’t call benzodiazepines “hypnotics” for nothing.)

The depression is trickier. Lisa, my longtime editor, sees me as resigned to a kind of Sisyphean existence. “I watch you push the rock up the hill, totally determined,” she says. “When it gets too heavy, you’re tempted by the latest pharmaceutical. Then when you don’t like the side effects, or whatever, you take yourself off the pill and start with the rock again. And that’s okay.”

IT’S STILL A DOLL WORLD after all. As Julie Burchill wrote in her intro to the 2003 reissue of the book (Newmarket Press had also republished the novel in 1981, selling it for $5.95—its 1966 price): “Despite nearly 40 years of repeated attempts to castrate it into campness, or kill it with kitsch, Valley of the Dolls remains a brave, bold, angry and, yes, definitely a feminist book. All that, and still about the most fun you can have without a prescription!”

“I tell every millennial they should read it,” says Simon Doonan, the British bon vivant and creative ambassador for Barneys, who wrote the introduction to the fiftieth anniversary edition. “The book is actually insanely relevant to the times we live in now. The whole idea of success and glamour and boobs: Are your tits big enough? Being famous for doing nothing…everything in it is so brash and so cosmetic.”

A voice can be heard in the background—it’s designer Jonathan Adler, Doonan’s husband—whose DOLLS pillboxes have been best-sellers for a decade. “Johnny’s saying it was prefeminist and now it’s postfeminist,” Doonan says. “It is. It had a hell of a lot to do with this media circus that we live in today—the Internet emphasis on appearance and the obsession with fame and money. The medicating of feelings. People take pills for everything now. It’s like Jacqueline Susann looked into a crystal ball and saw 2016.”

He sighs. “Poor Patty Duke died two weeks ago.

The obituaries talked about The Miracle Worker.

I’m scanning every obit for a mention of [her portrayal of] Neely O’Hara.” That’s because Duke won an Oscar as Helen Keller in The Miracle Worker.

“Yes,” Doonan says, “but Valley of the Dolls will live forever.”

COVER Kristen Wiig: Sequin-embellished tweed jacket, $9,000, wool belted trousers, $1,200, by Marc Jacobs, at Marc Jacobs stores nationwide, visit marcjacobs.com. Lace and silk chiffon bra by Morgan Lane, $210, visit morgan-lane.com. Diamond and platinum earring by Chopard, price on request, at Chopard boutiques nationwide, call 800-CHOPARD or visit chopard.com. Diamond and white gold ring by Ana Khouri, $15,600, collection at Barneys New York. Melissa McCarthy: Silk charmeuse blouse, skirt by Prabal Gurung, prices on request, collection at nordstrom.com.

Tanzanite, blue sapphire, diamond, and platinum earrings by Martin Katz, $78,000, at Martin Katz (Beverly Hills), visit martinkatz.com. Diamond and rose gold bracelet, $52,525, diamond, white gold, and black rhodium bracelet by Kimberly McDonald, $55,000, collection at Forty Five Ten (Dallas). Kate McKinnon: Wool and silk blazer, $2,945, wool trousers, $1,295, by Dolce & Gabbana, at select Dolce & Gabbana boutiques nationwide. Diamond and white gold earring by Nirav Modi, $77,000 (for pair), at Nirav Modi (NYC), call 800-772-0000 or visit niravmodi.com. White gold and diamond choker by Anita Ko, $21,425, visit anitako.com. Rose gold and diamond necklace, $15,400, yellow gold, white gold, rose gold, and diamond rings, $2,650–$2,840 each by Cartier, at Cartier boutiques nationwide, call 800-CARTIER or visit cartier.us. Crystal-embellished satin sandals by Gianvito Rossi, visit gianvitorossi .com. Leslie Jones: Crystal-embroidered lace gown by Sophie Theallet, $9,575, collection at Just One Eye (L.A.), visit justoneeye.com. Nylon and stretch-lace bra by Triumph, $98, visit triumph.com. Diamond and titanium earrings by Chopard, price on request, at Chopard boutiques nationwide, call 800-CHOPARD or visit chopard.com. Leather sandals by Stuart Weitzman, $415, visit stuartweitzman.com.

TABLE OF CONTENTS PAGE 18: Shirt, corset, skirt, metal necklace, charms, leather belt, handbag, key chain, boots by Prada, at select Prada boutiques nationwide. Bra by Carine Gilson Couture Lingerie, collection at Barneys New York, visit barneys.com. Cuffs by De Grisogono, $29,100–$51,800 each, at De Grisogono (NYC), visit degrisogono.com.

IN ON THE JOKE PAGE 38: (Crew credits): Wanda Sykes: Hair by Larry Sims; makeup by Patrick de Fontbrune for Chanel Les Beiges. Abbi Jacobson and Ilana Glazer: Hair by Bobby Eliot; makeup by Toby Fleischman. Rachel Bloom: Hair by Creighton Bowman; makeup by Roz Music.

Avenue (Beverly Hills). Velvet top by MM6 Maison Margiela, at MM6 Maison Margiela (NYC). Hoop earrings by Fallon, $210, collection at barneys.com. Her own pants. Nicole Byer: Her own dress and ring. Julie Klausner: Cotton-blend dress by Victoria Beckham, $1,995, visit barneys.com. Gold-plated earrings by Jules Smith, $100, collection at shopbop.com. Gold-plated cuff by Sarah Chloe, $395, visit sarahchloe.com. Kate Berlant: Wool jacket, $3,300, pants, $1,300, by Dior, at Dior boutiques nationwide. Cotton T-shirt by Armani Exchange, $30, visit armaniexchange.com. Gold-plated ring by Jules Smith, $125 (for set of 3), collection at saksfifthavenue.com. Iliza Shlesinger: Merino tank, $550, twill pants, $1,200, by Edun, similar styles at Barneys New York. Palladium-finished metal earrings by Dior, call 800-929-DIOR. Silver-plated, onyx, and white howlite bracelet by Vita Fede, $475, visit vitafede.com. Velour pumps by Christian Louboutin, $845, similar styles at christianlouboutin.com. Emma Willmann: Her own blazer. Cameron Esposito: Her own jacket, shirt, jeans, and necklace. Beth Stelling: Cotton jersey T-shirt by T by Alezander Wang, $225, visit alexanderwang.com. Gold and silver plated bracelet by Vita Fede, visit vitafede.com. Her own jacket and jeans. Michelle Buteau: Bracelet by Fallon, price on request, collection at barneys.com. Suede pumps by Jimmy Choo, visit jimmychoo.com. Her own dress. Jen Kirkman: Her own jumpsuit, necklace, bracelet, and mules. Emily Heller: Cotton T-shirt by T by Alexander Wang, $95, at Alexander Wang (NYC). Yellow and white gold necklace

by Jacquie Aiche, $2,875, visit jacquieaiche.com. Gold-plated necklace, $125, ring, $125 (for set of 3), by Jules Smith, collection at saksfifthavenue.com, shopbop. com. Brass bracelet by BauXo, $73, visit bauxo.com. Her own jeans. Natasha Leggero: Her own dress, rings, and pumps. Lauren Lapkus: Denim dress by Stella McCartney, $965, at Stella McCartney (NYC). Brass cuff by Jennifer Fisher, $360, visit jenniferfisherjewelry.com. Gold-plated ring by Jules Smith, $125 (for set of three), collection at saksfifthavenue.com. Leather pumps by Derek Lam, $795, visit dereklam.com. Aparna Nancherla: Stretch-lamé jacket, $1,490, pants, $690, by Sonia Rykiel, at Sonia Rykiel (NYC). Plated cuff by Jack Loves Charlie, $300, visit jacklovescharlie.com, collection at mdstripes.com. Gold and diamond ring by Sarah Chloe, $820, visit sarahchloe.com. Leather pumps by Manolo Blahnik, $595, collection at neimanmarcus.com. (Crew credits): Hair by Gio Campora at the Wall Group for Kérastase; makeup by Jo Strettell; set design by Thomas Thurnauer; production by Wanted Media; fashion assistants: Mark-Paul Barro, Sofia Sanches.

GET REAL

SHOPS

PAGE 136: Top, pants, earrings, rings, handbag, boots by Louis Vuitton, at select Louis Vuitton stores nationwide, call 866-VUITTON. PAGE 138: Skirt, leggings, handbag, sandals by Céline, at Céline (NYC). PAGE 139: Jacket, dress, hat, sunglasses, earring, necklace, bracelets, handbags, boots by Chanel, at Chanel boutiques nationwide. PAGE 141: Coat, dress, earrings, choker, ankle boots by Versace, call 888-721-7219. On him: Coat by Versace, at select Versace boutiques nationwide. Jeans by A.P.C., at A.P.C. (NYC), visit apc.fr. Sneakers by Converse, visit converse.com. PAGE 142–143: Top, skirt, handbags, boots by Balenciaga, collection at Barneys New York, Bergdorf Goodman (NYC). PAGE 144: Handbag by Tod’s, at Tod’s boutiques nationwide. Pumps by Jimmy Choo, call 866-524-6687 or visit jimmychoo.com. PAGE 145: Dress, watch, handbag, gaiters, pumps by Fendi, at Fendi (NYC). On him: Trousers by Burberry, visit burberry.com. PAGE 146: Jacket, dress, corset, belt, charms, socks, sandals by Prada, visit prada.com. On him: Cape, pants, key chain, shoes by Prada, at select Prada boutiques nationwide. PAGE 147: Dress, coat, handbag, boots by Proenza Schouler, at Proenza Schouler (NYC).

PAGE 148: Cape, dress, glasses, handbag, socks, watch, rings, pumps by Gucci, at select Gucci stores nationwide. On him: Cardigan, tank, pants, rings, slides by Gucci, at select Gucci stores nationwide. PAGE 150: Dresses, scarf, boots by Chloé, collection at Neiman Marcus stores nationwide. PAGE 151: Jacket, shirt, pants, tie, boots by Ralph Lauren Collection, at select Ralph Lauren stores nationwide.

PAGE 152: Sweater, skirt, ear cuffs, rings, ankle boots by Dior, call 800-929-DIOR. PAGE 153: Pumps by Jimmy Choo, at select Jimmy Choo stores nationwide. On him: Jackets, scarf, jeans by Burberry, visit burberry.com. Sneakers by Converse, visit converse.com. (Model extras): Cheyenne Stevens; Jonah Wishner; Kayleigh Wishner; Nane Arsenyan; Nickolas A. Keller; Guilianna Peduto-Pappas; Rashad Amaro; Sidney Gentry; Steven Gentry; Sophia Milan Gentry; Lisa Crosby; Stefanie Clark

PAGE 62: Cardigan by T by Alexander Wang, visit alexanderwang.com. Blouse by Tory Burch, visit toryburch.com. PAGE 63: Bucket bag by Tomasini, visit barneys .com. Handbag by Nine West, visit ninewest.com. Ankle boot by Rachel Comey, visit rachelcomey.com.

Prices are approximate. ELLE recommends that merchandise availability be checked with local store.

FIRST LOOK PAGE 47: Dress, bustier, choker, necklace, bracelets, pumps by Loewe, collection at Forty Five Ten (Dallas), Barneys New York (Beverly Hills, NYC), ByGeorge (Austin), ssense.com. Bracelet by De Grisogono, visit degrisogono.com.

TRENDS AND ACCESSORIES PAGE 48: Dress by Gucci, visit gucci.com. Earring by David Yurman, at David Yurman (NYC). Necklace by Renee Lewis, $39,000, visit barneys.com. Charm

by Irene Neuwirth, starting at $10,800, for special order at Irene Neuwirth (L.A.). PAGE 49: Wool silk jacket, lace dress, jewel pins, creepers by Alexander McQueen, at Alexander McQueen (NYC). White gold and black-and-white diamond necklace by Messika, visit messika.com. Diamond and platinum brooch

by Beladora, visit beladora.com. Amethyst, diamond, and rose gold ring, $33,500, diamond, blue sapphire, and white gold ring, $40,800, by De Grisogono, at De Grisogono (NYC). Socks by Falke, visit falke.com. Charm by Temple St. Clair, call 800-590-7985. Jacket by Marc Jacobs, at Marc Jacobs stores nationwide.

PAGE 51: Handbag by Louis Vuitton, at select Louis Vuitton stores nationwide.

PAGE 52: Flat by Chanel, call 800-550-0005. Handbag by Gucci, at select Gucci stores nationwide. PAGE 54: Necklace, bracelet, $67,000, by Bulgari, call 800-BULGARI.

ABOUT A GIRL PAGE 58–59: Dress by Anna Sui for Opening Ceremony, visit openingceremony .com. Choker by Shay, visit shayfinejewelry.com.

SUCH GREAT HEIGHTS PAGE 106: Crepe de chine dress by Altuzarra, $1,995, collection at barneys .com. Bangle from New York Vintage, $450, at New York Vintage (NYC). Pumps

by Chloe Gosselin, $690, collection at Barneys New York. PAGE 108: Dress by Elie Saab, $9,025, collection at neimanmarcus.com. Ring by Thierry Mugler, $225, visit newyorkvintage.com. Sandals by Chloe Gosselin, $725, collection at barneys.com.

WHO YA GONNA CALL? PAGE 122: Earrings by Martin Katz, $78,000, at Martin Katz (Beverly Hills), visit martinkatz.com. Bracelets by Kimberly McDonald, $52,525–$55,000 each, collection at Forty Five Ten (Dallas). PAGE 125: Earrings, necklace, rings by Chanel Fine Jewelry, at Chanel Fine Jewelry boutiques nationwide, call 800-550-0005.

PAGE 126: Earrings, bracelet by Pomellato, call 800-254-6020 or visit pomellato .com. Bracelet by John Hardy, call 888-838-3022 or visit johnhardy.com. PAGE 129: Shirt by Miu Miu, visit miumiu.com. Bra by Araks, visit araks.com. Earrings, necklace, rings by Harry Winston, at Harry Winston boutiques nationwide. Boots

by Giuseppe Zanotti Design, at Giuseppe Zanotti Design boutiques nationwide, visit giuseppezanottidesign.com.

ALL THE QUEEN’S WOMEN PAGES 130–131: Tina Fey: Top, trousers by Victoria Beckham, visit victoriabeckham.com. Bra by Calvin Klein Underwear, visit calvinklein.com.

Pink gold and diamond necklace by Bulgari, at Bulgari boutiques nationwide, visit bulgari.com. Jane Krakowski: Dress by Narciso Rodriguez, collection at barneys .com. Gold and diamond earring by Mateo New York, visit mateonewyork.com.

Pink gold and diamond bracelets by Bulgari, call 800-BULGARI. Carol Kane: Calfskin flower brooch by Chanel, call 800-550-0005.

RIOT GIRLS PAGES 132–133: Tiffany Haddish: Viscose blazer by Balmain, $3,180, at Saks Fifth

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A purchase or payment of any kind will not increase your chances of winning. ELLE Ghostbusters Hometown Screening Sweepstakes.

Sponsored by Hearst Communications, Inc. Beginning 6/14/16 at 12:01 A.M. (ET) through 7/8/16 at 11:59 P.M. (ET), go to ELLE.com/ ghostbusterssweeps on a computer or wireless device and complete the entry form pursuant to the onscreen instructions. One (1) Grand Prize Winner (“Grand Prize Winner”) will receive a private screening of the movie Ghostbusters (the “Film”) for Grand Prize Winner and up to forty-nine (49) guests (including a small popcorn and a small drink for each guest) at a movie theater in or near the Grand Prize Winner’s hometown, to be determined at the Sponsor’s sole discretion.

The screening is tentatively scheduled for the week of July 17, 2016, pending theater availability (ARV: $599). Twenty-five (25) Runner-Up Winners will each receive one (1) Fandango Promotional Code that can be used to redeem a pair of movie tickets (up to $40 total value) to see Ghostbusters at Fandango partner theaters in the U.S., currently scheduled to open in theaters July 15, 2016. Fandango Promo Code terms apply. (ARV of each Runner-Up Prize: $40.) Total ARV for all prizes: $1,599. Important Notice: You may be charged for visiting the mobile website in accordance with the terms of your service agreement with your carrier. Odds of winning will depend upon the total number of eligible entries received. Open to legal residents of the 48 contiguous U.S. states and the District of Columbia who are 18 years or older at the time of entry. Void in Puerto Rico, Alaska, Hawaii, and where prohibited by law. Additional terms and conditions may apply. Sweepstakes subject to complete official rules available at ELLE.com/ghostbusterssweeps.

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WHO’S THE BOSS? We asked Seth Meyers to talk fatherhood, the election cycle, and running the Late Night ship.

Then, to keep him honest—and because this is ELLE’s Women in Comedy Issue— we asked three women from his writers’ room to tell us how it really is

ELLE: Congratulations on the birth of your son. Did you cry in the delivery room?

SETH MEYERS: I couldn’t stop laughing and I couldn’t stop crying.

ELLE: Why were you laughing?

SM: It’s so absurd that we all come into the world that way. Even though you’re surrounded by professionals, you kind of can’t believe it’s going to work. My wife was so incredible. It also made me laugh how little I had to do. It’s so unfair how the work splits on this.

ELLE: Tell me about a time the women on your writing staff saved you from yourself?

SM: I came in the other day and wanted to show them a picture of my dog being cute with the baby. And they said, “Stop showing people pictures of your dog.

You have a child now.” The kid was also in the picture. But the dog was 85 percent of the frame.

ELLE: Is there something people misunderstand about Hillary Clinton?

SM: We forget that a harder job than being president is running for president.

When you’re the president, you can go into the Oval Office and shut the door, and nobody can bother you. To her

credit, she’s admitted that she’s not as good at this part as the other part.

ELLE: People are still talking about her e-mails. What would we find in your e-mails?

SM: Less than most people, because I clear that motherfucker out. It would take one dude seven hours. Or it would take my wife, like, 90 minutes.

ELLE: If Trump comes on your show, what will your first question be?

SM: There are a lot of immigrants in this country who believe in Donald Trump’s America—if he dropped all of his anti-immigrant rhetoric. I think he stands for what a lot of people come to America for, which is a place where someone can build an empire. And he stands for capitalism. And he stands for free markets. I would just ask him why he chooses to put so many people who live in this country—and feel the same way about America that he does—on the outside of his message?

MICHELLE WOLF Worked for four years on Wall Street before pursuing stand-up; now a correspondent on The Daily Show

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ELLE: You’ve been a dad for a week.

How has fatherhood changed you?

SM: I don’t know if it’s changed me much. It’s made me very happy. It’s a strange distraction when you’re at work.

It’s kind of all you can think about.

ELLE: Your wife is a prosecutor. Can you ever win an argument at home?

SM: I really can’t. Basically my wife is the prosecutor, and I’m the public defender who just found out he has the case, and so I’m always coming into every argument with papers coming out of my folder and mustard on my tie and I always need a continuance. And she won’t give me one because she’s also the judge. It doesn’t go great.

ELLE: Has seeing your face on billboards changed the way you view yourself?

SM: Well, first of all, those billboards come down, like, two months after you start the show. For two months after the show starts, you’re like, “I’m on every bus in the city!” Then that passes and you’re just a guy in an office. [Laughs] What I loved most about SNL was being part of a writing staff. What’s great about being on a writing staff is being able to tease people and at the same time still be teased. Now, I don’t feel much like the boss when I come into work every day. Because we’ve created

give me a super hard time.

you surround yourself with. the next president be a woman?

men.

JENNY HAGEL Former UCB and Second City Chicago performer; awardwinning comedic short film writer

AMBER RUFFIN Second City Chicago alum; the first woman of color to write for a network late-night show

Clockwise from top: Lloyd Bishop/NBC; Tennille Miller; Karen Kring; Mindy Tucker

While other talk-show hosts sing karaoke in cars or play charades with celebrities, Late Night’s Seth Meyers has smartly carved a niche by delivering savvy political commentary with a sly smile, finding the funny in Republicans who are trying to defund Planned Parenthood or in the Clinton-Sanders debate over fossil fuels. Meyers has been busy offscreen, too, since leaving Saturday Night Live in 2014: The 42-year-old comedian and his wife, prosecuting attorney Alexi Ashe, welcomed their first child in March. Here, Meyers opens up about being a new dad, Donald Trump, and why no one will be going through his e-mails anytime soon.—Mickey Rapkin

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