Parents - February 2021 by Lawrence Ambrocio

RAISE A FOODIE! 5 0 R E A L- W O R LD T I P S

E A SY D E S I G N I D E A S F O R B R I G H T A N D T I DY K I D S ’ R O O M S

T H E B E S T B A BY G E A R EVER? WE FOUND IT

A GR

MMY WINNE

BRANDI CA R L I LE with wife Catherine and their daughters, Elijah and Evangeline

LE E C

B R AT

ALL FAM I L I E S especially yours

YO U R E RY T H I N

GUIDE to VALE NTI N E’S DAY

B RU N C H , SW E ET S , and AW E S O M E CA R D S ( Hearts? Check! )

FEBRUARY 2021 PARENTS.COM

Is your asthma treatment plan off course? See what could open up for you with FASENRA.*

FASENRA is an add-on treatment for people 12 and older with severe eosinophilic asthma. It’s not a rescue medication or for other eosinophilic conditions. *

Results may vary. IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION Do not use FASENRA if you are allergic to benralizumab or any of the ingredients in FASENRA. Do not use to treat sudden breathing problems. FASENRA may cause serious side effects, including: • allergic (hypersensitivity) reactions, including anaphylaxis. Serious allergic reactions can happen after you get your FASENRA injection. Allergic reactions can sometimes happen hours or days after you get your injection. Tell your healthcare provider or get emergency help right away if you have any of the following symptoms of an allergic reaction: o swelling of your face, mouth and tongue o breathing problems o fainting, dizziness, feeling lightheaded (low blood pressure) o rash o hives Before using FASENRA, tell your healthcare provider about all of your medical conditions, including if you: • are taking oral or inhaled corticosteroid medicines. Do not stop taking your corticosteroid medicines unless instructed by your healthcare provider. This may cause other symptoms that were controlled by the corticosteroid medicine to come back. • have a parasitic (helminth) infection. • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if FASENRA will harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant during your treatment with FASENRA. o There is a pregnancy exposure registry that monitors pregnancy outcomes in women exposed to FASENRA during pregnancy. Healthcare providers can enroll patients or encourage patients to enroll themselves by calling 1-877-311-8972 or visiting www.mothertobaby.org/fasenra.

†

FASENRA is only 1 maintenance dose every 8 weeks.

Helps prevent asthma attacks, lower daily oral steroid use, and improve breathing.*

You have injection options with FASENRA: Your doctor can administer FASENRA at their office. You can self-administer anywhere with the FASENRA Pen.‡

Visit FASENRAfits.com to see how FASENRA can fit into your life.

†

The first 3 doses are given on day 1, week 4, and week 8. ‡ Before you self-administer, make sure your doctor shows you how to do it. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if FASENRA passes into your breast milk. Talk to your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby if you use FASENRA. • are taking prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, or herbal supplements. Do not stop taking your other asthma medicines unless instructed to do so by your healthcare provider. The most common side effects of FASENRA include: headache and sore throat. These are not all the possible side effects of FASENRA. APPROVED USE FASENRA is a prescription medicine used with other asthma medicines for the maintenance treatment of asthma in people 12 years and older whose asthma is not controlled with their current asthma medicines. FASENRA helps prevent severe asthma attacks (exacerbations) and may improve your breathing. Medicines such as FASENRA reduce blood eosinophils. Eosinophils are a type of white blood cell that may contribute to your asthma. FASENRA is not used to treat other problems caused by eosinophils and is not used to treat sudden breathing problems. Tell your healthcare provider if your asthma does not get better or if it gets worse after you start treatment with FASENRA. It is not known if FASENRA is safe and effective in children under 12 years of age. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.FDA.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Please see Brief Summary of full Prescribing information on adjacent page. FASENRA is a registered trademark of the AstraZeneca group of companies. ©2020 AstraZeneca. All rights reserved. US-42947 7/20

I M P O R TA N T

I N F O R M AT I O N

Read this brief summary carefully before using FASENRA for the first time and each time you use a new dose. There may be new information. This summary does not take the place of talking to your healthcare provider about your medical condition or treatment. What is FASENRA? FASENRA is a prescription medicine used with other asthma medicines for the maintenance treatment of asthma in people 12 years and older whose asthma is not controlled with their current asthma medicines. When added to other medicines for asthma, FASENRA helps prevent severe asthma attacks (exacerbations) and may improve your breathing. Medicines such as FASENRA reduce blood eosinophils. Eosinophils are a type of white blood cell that may contribute to your asthma. • FASENRA is not used to treat other problems caused by eosinophils. • FASENRA is not used to treat sudden breathing problems. Tell your healthcare provider if your asthma does not get better or if it gets worse after you start treatment with FASENRA. It is not known if FASENRA is safe and effective in children under 12 years of age. Do not use FASENRA if you are allergic to benralizumab or any of the ingredients in FASENRA. Before using FASENRA, tell your healthcare provider about all of your medical conditions, including if you: • are taking oral or inhaled corticosteroid medicines. Do not stop taking your corticosteroid medicines unless instructed by your healthcare provider. This may cause other symptoms that were controlled by the corticosteroid medicine to come back • have a parasitic (helminth) infection • are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. It is not known if FASENRA will harm your unborn baby. Tell your healthcare provider if you become pregnant during your treatment with FASENRA. ° There is a pregnancy exposure registry that monitors pregnancy outcomes in women exposed to FASENRA during pregnancy. Healthcare providers can enroll patients or encourage patients to enroll themselves by calling 1-877-311-8972 or visiting www.mothertobaby.org/fasenra. • are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if FASENRA passes into your breast milk. You and your healthcare provider should decide if you will use FASENRA and breastfeed. Talk to your healthcare provider about the best way to feed your baby if you use FASENRA. Tell your healthcare provider about all the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements. Do not stop taking your other asthma medicines unless your healthcare provider tells you to. How will I use FASENRA? • FASENRA is injected under your skin (subcutaneously) one time every 4 weeks for the first 3 doses, and then every 8 weeks. • FASENRA comes in a single dose prefilled syringe and in a single dose autoinjector. • A healthcare provider will inject FASENRA using the single-dose prefilled syringe.

For more information, visit FASENRA.com Or call 1-800-236-9933

A B O U T

F A S E N R A

• If your healthcare provider decides that you or a caregiver can give the injection of FASENRA, you or your caregiver should receive training on the right way to prepare and give the injection using the FASENRA PEN. Do not try to inject FASENRA until you have been shown the right way by your healthcare provider. See the detailed “Instructions for Use” that comes with FASENRA PEN for information on how to prepare and inject FASENRA. • If you miss a dose of FASENRA, call your healthcare provider. What are the possible side effects of FASENRA? FASENRA may cause serious side effects, including: • allergic (hypersensitivity) reactions, including anaphylaxis. Serious allergic reactions can happen after you get your FASENRA injection. Allergic reactions can sometimes happen hours or days after you get your injection. Tell your healthcare provider or get emergency help right away if you have any of the following symptoms of an allergic reaction: ° swelling of your face, mouth and tongue ° breathing problems ° fainting, dizziness, feeling lightheaded (low blood pressure) ° rash ° hives The most common side effects of FASENRA include headache and sore throat. These are not all the possible side effects of FASENRA. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You may report side effects to FDA at 1-800-FDA-1088. How should I store FASENRA? • Store FASENRA in the refrigerator between 36°F to 46°F (2°C to 8°C). • FASENRA may be stored at room temperature between 68°F to 77°F (20°C to 25°C) for up to 14 days. • Once removed from the refrigerator and brought to room temperature FASENRA must be used within 14 days or thrown away. • Store FASENRA in the original carton until you are ready to use it to protect it from light. • Do not freeze FASENRA. Do not use FASENRA that has been frozen. • Do not expose FASENRA to heat. • Do not use FASENRA past the expiration date. • Keep FASENRA and all medicines out of the reach of children. What are the ingredients in FASENRA? Active ingredient: benralizumab Inactive ingredients: L-histidine, L-histidine hydrochloride monohydrate, polysorbate 20, ,-trehalose dihydrate, and Water for Injection The information provided here is not comprehensive. Ask your healthcare provider for additional information about FASENRA. You can also contact the company that makes FASENRA (toll-free) at 1-800-236-9933 or at www.fasenra.com. FASENRA is a registered trademark and FASENRA Pen is a trademark of the AstraZeneca group of companies. © 2019 AstraZeneca LP. All rights reserved. Manufactured for: AstraZeneca LP, Wilmington, DE 19850 11/19 US-30267

HOW DOES YOUR FAMILY SHARE THE LOVE?

JULIA EDELSTEIN Editor-in-Chief

“We make up goofy songs. A favorite of ours is about our son’s clammy foot.”

Executive Creative Director AGNETHE GLATVED Executive Editor MIRANDA VAN GELDER Managing Editor PATRICK MOFFITT Deputy Editor DIANE DEBROVNER Food and Lifestyle Director YOLANDA WIKIEL Beauty Director KATE SANDOVAL BOX Senior Editor, Features KATIE ARNOLD-RATLIFF Senior Editor, Books and Travel KAREN CICERO Entertainment Editor JESSICA HARTSHOR N Staff Health Editor EMILY ELVERU Staff Beauty Editor SHANNON M. BAUER ART & PRODUCTION

“Every bedtime, we pretend we’re done saying good night to our son, then as we’re leaving his room, we shout, ‘Oh, one more, one more!’ and run back to give him an extra kiss or three.”

Art Director EMILY FURLANI Associate Art Director JAMIE LEE Senior Designer MARIA FERNANDEZ-DAVILA Art Assistant AVA BRAMSON Production Director VINCENT M. SPINA PHOTO Photo Director MARY CLARE CAHILL Photo Editor JOANNA MUENZ Photo Coordinator MAGGIE BLATTEL Associate Photo Editor ERIKA THOMPSON RESEARCH & COPY

Research Director BARBARA BRANDON-CROFT Copy Chief JEAN RODIE Copy Editor SHELLEY WOLSON Test Kitchen Project Manager LINDA BREWER, R.D.N.

“The Redlener family formula: laughing, fooling around, sharing meals, nonjudgmental love, and always being there for each other.”

Deputy Managing Editor TARA LUSTBERG Executive Operations Coordinator, Office of Editor-in-Chief ADRIENNE FARR

MARK JOSEPHSON Senior Vice President, Group Publisher

“Every week, we have a tradition of Friday-morning crepes for breakfast and Sundaynight spaghetti, salad, and a movie. We love it!”

Sales Manager, Meredith Parents Network DONNA LINDSKOG

ADVERTISING SALE S West Coast Director JULIE BANFIELD Advertising Sales Staff ALYSSA CRAMER COHEN, CATHERINE DAUN, ANNE GILHOOL, MOLLY THOMPSON, MARIA TOCCO TORRES, NADINE WAXENBERG Assistant BRITTON FORKER Sales Director, Direct Media TYLER HUB National Travel Manager KATY HILDMAN Senior Research Manager ALISON JAYE MARKETING Group Marketing Director KRISTEN STUCCHIO-SUAREZ Senior Marketing Manager JUDY SCHIFFMAN Marketing Manager MARNIE DOWLER Marketing Coordinator DIANA ZULUAGA Group Creative Director JEANETTE CHOW Art Director TRACY D’AGOSTINO A D M I N I S T R AT I O N Executive Business Director JANICE CROAT Business Manager MEGAN WOOD Advertising Business Manager BOB PARLAPIANO Consumer Marketing Manager RACHEL BLACK Production Director MELANIE STOLTENBERG Production Manager COURTNEY PETERSON Director of Quality JOSEPH KOHLER Quality Analyst BEN ANDERSON Prepress Desktop Specialist GREG FAIRHOLM

“My 8-year-old journals each night and ends with ‘What made me happy today was …, ‘ and now he includes me to find out what I’m happy about. It just melts my heart.”

Contributing Editors ANNA HELM BAXTER, DAPHNE de MARNEFFE, Ph.D., SALLY KUZEMCHAK, R.D., ERIN ZAMMETT RUDDY, COLBY SHARP, VIRGINIA SOLE-SMITH D I G I TA L

Digital Content Director JULIA DENNISON Deputy Editor MELISSA BYKOFSKY Senior SEO Editor LIZ LASHWAY Features Editor ANNA HALKIDIS Social Media Editor GILLIAN NIGRO Associate Editor LIBBY RYAN SEO Writer NICOLE HARRIS Associate Producer FRANCESCA SPATOLA ADVISORY B OARD Pediatrics ARI BROWN, M.D., DAVID L. HILL, M.D., HARVEY KARP, M.D., JANE MORTON, M.D., NATALIE D. MUTH, M.D., M.P.H., R.D.N., IRWIN REDLENER, M.D., MICHAEL RICH, M.D., M.P.H., HARLEY A. ROTBART, M.D., DARSHAK SANGHAVI, M.D., JENNIFER SHU, M.D., WENDY SUE SWANSON, M.D., M.B.E. Nutrition JILL CASTLE, R.D.N., CONNIE DIEKMAN, R.D. Mental Health DAVID FASSLER, M.D., HAROLD S. KOPLEWICZ, M.D., REBECCA LANDA, Ph.D., TIMOTHY L. VERDUIN, Ph.D. Environmental Health AARON BERNSTEIN, M.D., M.P.H., PHILIP LANDRIGAN, M.D. “On birthdays, Dentistry LEZLI LEVENE HARVELL, D.M.D. we go around the Child Development and Behavior LISA DAMOUR, Ph.D., table and say WAYNE FLEISIG, Ph.D., EILEEN KENNEDY-MOORE, Ph.D., what we love about WENDY MOGEL, Ph.D., MICHAEL THOMPSON, Ph.D. the birthday Women’s Health ALICE D. DOMAR, Ph.D., person. I love to see MARJORIE GREENFIELD, M.D., LAURA RILEY, M.D., how the list of ALEXANDRA SACKS, M.D. Education and Child Care DEBORAH STIPEK, Ph.D., comments increases CATHY VATTEROTT, Ph.D. each year.” Allergy WILLIAM E. BERGER, M.D., HUGH SAMPSON, M.D. Emergency Medicine and Safety MARTIN EICHELBERGER, M.D., WENDY L. HUNTER, M.D., GARY A. SMITH, M.D., Dr.P.H. Sleep JODI MINDELL, Ph.D., JUDITH OWENS, M.D. Dermatology LAWRENCE F. EICHENFIELD, M.D., JODY ALPERT LEVINE, M.D.

MEREDITH NATIONAL MEDIA GROUP President, Meredith Magazines DOUG OLSON President, Consumer Products TOM WITSCHI President, Chief Digital Officer CATHERINE LEVENE Chief Business and Data Officer ALYSIA BORSA Chief Revenue Officer MICHAEL BROWNSTEIN Marketing and Integrated Communications NANCY WEBER Senior Vice Presidents Consumer Revenue ANDY WILSON Corporate Sales BRIAN KIGHTLINGER Research Solutions BRITTA CLEVELAND Strategic Sourcing, Newsstand, Production CHUCK HOWELL Digital Sales MARLA NEWMAN The Foundry MATT PETERSEN Product and Technology JUSTIN LAW Vice Presidents Finance CHRIS SUSIL Business Planning and Analysis ROB SILVERSTONE Consumer Marketing STEVE CROWE Brand Licensing TOYE CODY, SONDRA NEWKIRK Corporate Communications JILL DAVISON

“We write each other little notes highlighting special moments throughout the year.”

Vice President, Group Editorial Director LIZ VACCARIELLO Director, Editorial Operations and Finance ALEXANDRA BREZ MEREDITH CORPORATION Chairman and Chief Executive Officer TOM HARTY Chief Financial Officer JASON FRIEROTT Chief Development Officer JOHN ZIESER Chief Strategy Officer DAPHNE KWON President, Meredith Local Media Group PATRICK McCREERY Senior Vice President, Human Resources DINA NATHANSON Vice Chairman MELL MEREDITH FRAZIER

© Copyright Meredith Corporation 2021. All rights reserved. Parents is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation, registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Executive, editorial, and advertising offices: 225 Liberty Street, New York, NY 10281. Email: writeus@parents.com. Submission of your material constitutes permission for Meredith Corporation to allow its use in any media. Subscribers please note: Our subscribers list is occasionally made available to carefully selected firms whose products may be of interest to you. If you prefer not to receive info from these companies by mail or by phone, please let us know. Send your request and your mailing label to Parents Customer Service, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. Subscription help: Visit us at parents.com/myaccount, email pmmcustserv@cdsfulfillment.com, or call 800-727-3682. For syndication or international licensing requests or reprint and reuse permission, email syndication@meredith.com. Printed in the U.S.A.

R AI S IN G THE FUTU RE

CONTENTS

I N E V E RY I S S U E 6 Editor’s Note 9 Playbook 104 Giggles

KI D S 15 Teach Your Child What Family Really Means Whether you have a nontraditional household or a nuclear one, you can show your kids that love is what it’s all about. 22 50 Ways to Raise an Adventurous Eater Inspire picky eaters with these (no-stress) ideas. 28 Health News Virtual pediatrician visits and baby sleep basics 32 The Book Nook Bette Midler’s latest

50 Color-Coated Coolness Berries with a fun twist 52 Animal House! Meet Emma and her rescue dog, Rosie Perez.

YO U

64 Mothers of Invention Singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile writes about her road to queer parenthood in this exclusive essay. 73 Women’s Health News Stiff-neck cures and more

LI FE

55 Beauty Hacks for Busy Days When a shower feels impossible, dry shampoos and other assists can help you look and feel good.

75 Divide and Declutter Space-saving ideas for cool kids’ spaces from design expert Joy Cho

62 “This Baby Is Not Okay” The grief and hope of having a child with an undiagnosed illness

80 Good Morning, Valentine! Serve up a cute heart theme for breakfast.

34 Play Your Cards Right Modern, DIY valentine crafts to make together 40 Sheet-Pan Nachos for the Win Three cheers for queso (and easy cleanup) 44 The New Registry Essentials Our annual Best for Baby awards, picked by parents!

ON THE COVER Brandi (right) and Catherine Carlile with their daughters, Evangeline, 6 years, and Elijah, 2 years. Photograph by Victoria Kovios. Wardrobe styling by Maryam Malakpour. Hair and makeup by Tiffany Hanseroth. Prop styling by Kendra Smoot. On Brandi: Jacket, Mother Denim. Blouse, Bella Freud. Jeans, Citizens of Humanity. Boots, Frye. On Catherine: Shirt, Mother Denim. Jeans, Citizens of Humanity. Boots, Frye. Jewelry, Jenny Bird. On Evangeline: Robe, Elder Statesman. All other clothing, Zara Kids. On Elijah: Zara Kids.

88 Playdate With Your Pet Fun and easy games that will keep cats, dogs, and kids all entertained 92 Mix + Match Soup Pick one of four bases and choose your own flavor adventure.

AG E S + STAG E S 100 Pregnancy Make a birth plan, and talk it through with your team. 101 0–12 Months Learn to clean and care for baby teeth. 101 1–2 Years Celebrate their physical milestones. 102 3–4 Years Know lies are normal—and encourage truth telling. 102 5–6 Years Help kids learn to focus. 103 7+ Years Offer reassurance when mistakes happen.

PA R E N T S

5 F EBRUA RY

2021

EDITOR’S NOTE

Let’s Hear It for All Families! “For me, ‘nontraditional’ family is a tradition! My husband has two great kids from his first marriage, and we now have a son. My stepkids’ mom is cool—we did a joint Moms’ Day brunch one year. And when I was growing up, my gay mom was an early advocate for marriage equality.” —Miranda Van Gelder, Executive Editor

The Common Thread Is Love WELCOME TO

the season of sparkly hearts, homemade valentines, and yes, pink sweaters. The world may feel upended, but we can still rely on love (and chocolate) to help get us through the winter. Love of family inspired many of the stories in this issue, from the DIY cards on page 34 to the heart-motif breakfasts on page 80. But it simply radiates off the cover featuring singer Brandi Carlile, her wife, Catherine, and their daughters. This cover is our first to spotlight two moms—a longoverdue Parents milestone. As Carlile points out in her moving essay on page 64, depictions of gay parenting in mainstream media remain few and far between, even in 2021. What’s more, models of all kinds of nontraditional families (divorced, blended, single-parent, adoptive, foster) can be hard to

come by, even though more than half of all families in America fall into this bucket. As the editor of Parents, I am privileged to share a slice of my family’s life on this page each month. But in this issue, I wanted to make sure you knew that my experience is just one of many guiding our content. Parents editors hail from loving families of all kinds—a fact that inspired a story (page 15) on how to expand kids’ conception of what family truly means, written by staffer and single mother Adrienne Farr. Enjoy this love-filled issue. But first, please “meet” just a few of our editors’ families.

We’re here to help. Email JuliaE@parents.com to tell me about the topics you’d like to see in future issues of Parents.

PA R E N T S

6 F EBRUA RY

2021

“You hear the fairy tale: Get married, have kids, live happily ever after. Mine is being a mom (via sperm donation) of a 4-yearold princess, taking care of my 81-year-old mom, who has Alzheimer’s, and living with my younger brother. The love is palpable, even if it doesn’t fit the fairy tale!” —Adrienne Farr, Executive Operations Coordinator

“My girls are 11 years apart. I divorced when Abby was 3, after my ex-husband realized he was gay. I was a single mom, then met my husband, Daniel, and we had Jane. When Abby recently got married, her dad and I walked her down the aisle, and we all celebrated as one big happy family.” —Diane Debrovner, Deputy Editor

“As a gay, divorced dad of two girls, I am continually—and happily—surprised by how traditional our nontraditional family seems to my daughters.” —Patrick Moffitt, Managing Editor

“My parents separated when I was 3, and I was raised by two strong women: my mom and my aunt. But my mom and dad were model coparents before I’d ever heard the term. I also have a half brother, who I just refer to as my brother. Our dad passed away, but that has only strengthened our bond.” —Gillian Nigro, Social Media Editor

“I’m a coparenting single mom, and I share my 4½-year-old daughter, Esme, with my ex, 50-50. We coparent amicably, spend holidays together, and try to give her as happy an upbringing as we can. Her dad is expecting a baby, so Esme will have a half sibling to add to our blended family in 2021.” —Julia Dennison, Digital Content Director

JULIA: PETER ARDITO. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY LINDSEY WILLIAMS. MIRANDA AND FAMILY: MELANIE ACEVEDO. ALL OTHER FAMILY PHOTOS COURTESY OF THE SUBJECTS.

“My mom was just 16 when I was born. We lived with my grandparents for many years until she married my stepdad. It was fun growing up in a multigenerational Italian family! Plus, when my mom became a grandma (I have a teen daughter now), she was still in her 40s and able to be super-active.” —Karen Cicero, Senior Editor

A CAPSULE A DAY FADES DARK SPOTS AWAY. 20% Pure Vitamin C Serum. High concentration. Proven results.

1 WEEK 4 WEEKS

for smoother, brighter skin.

visibly reduces the look of dark spots.

#1 dermatologist recommended brand

©J&JCI 2020

playbook

PROP STYLING BY KATJA GREEFF. STORY STONES CRAFT BY ALEX MATA.

Your guide to making the days easier and the journey sweeter

LET THERE BE DELIGHT!

Rock Their Little World This craft-plus-storytelling game offers a screen-free way to keep your kids’ imaginations churning. First, collect rocks on the next family walk (or hook yourselves up with a set from a crafts shop or a store online). Then help your kids paint a different creature, object, or person on each, or use stickers to dress them up. When you have a dozen or so, toss them into a bag. Have each kid choose a rock and then start to tell a story based on the picture. Take turns, adding to the plot with each new stone. By all means, ham things up with fun adjectives (“a sparkly raindrop,” “a zany ladybug”) to boost those verbal and literacy skills. Or just let your kids take charge of the whole narrative—beats listening to them recap PAW Patrol!

photograph by K AT E M AT H I S

PA R E N T S

9 F EBRUA RY

2021

P L AY B O O K

/ I F YO U A S K M E /

“A friend we have outdoor playdates with has posted pics of herself on social media hanging out with different people. I’m worried she might spread coronavirus to my family. How do I talk to her about it?”

THE SHORT LIST This month’s lineup of what’s new, novel, and nice to know

Three parents, no wrong answers

—Elizabeth Leal, R.N., a nurse and mom of three in San Antonio @mom_ontherocks

“Realize that we live in a weird society—one that makes us feel guilty for taking careful steps to protect our health. You are not doing anything wrong by speaking to your friend. Be polite but honest and firm: ‘Hey! So I want to be super-careful with this virus, and I noticed that you’re having a lot of hangouts. Not here to judge, but I think we should put playdates on hold for now.’ You can add how much you adore her as a person, but don’t ask her if it’s okay with her. Just as you can’t dictate what she does, she can’t dictate what you do. If she is a caring friend, she’ll understand.” —Arianna Bradford, author of Shame on You: Big Truths From a Bad Mom and mom of two in Portland, Oregon @theariannabradford

“First, approach your friend with empathy. Next, do some research on her posts to get a full picture of her behavior: Is she always with the same group, or does she rotate with new people? Are her kids there, or is she alone? Do you know the others? Finally, consider your goal in talking with her: Do you just want to set a boundary? Are you prepared for a fallout? After weighing all of this, if you still want to talk, practice what you want to say. If you follow these steps, no matter what you do, you’ll know that you’ve honored everyone’s feelings.” —Alfiee Breland-Noble, Ph.D., a psychologist and founder of the AAKOMA Project and mom of two in the Washington, D.C., area @dralfiee —Caylin Harris

State Capitals, Then Screen Time

IT WORKED FOR ME

“My 11-year-old girls have begged to use their tablets all through the pandemic, and I am very stingy with screen time. I finally gave them a blank map of the U.S. and told them to learn the states. For every one they got correct, they received a minute of tablet time that day,” says Parents managing editor Patrick Moffitt. “Needless to say, they learned all 50 states in about three days. I’m happy because it means a max of 50 minutes on their tablets. But they’re so good at it now that we’re moving on to a map of Africa—they are already in the 20 to 25 range of identifying countries.” Got a smart parenting solution? Email it to itworkedforme@parents.com.

PA R E N T S

10 F E B R U A R Y

2021

If you just can’t quit the convenience of Amazon but wish you could support the little guys more often, bookmark amazon.com/supportsmall. The site’s page spotlights small businesses by product type (toys and games, pet supplies, etc.) and by region (Midwest, Southeast, and so forth). You can even search for women-owned, Black-owned, familyowned businesses, and more.

The parent-developed Young King Hair Care includes plantbased Curling Cream, Leave-In Conditioner, and Essential Oils, specifically researched and made to keep boys’ natural, textured hair moisturized. (Plus, unlike many others out there, these products are only lightly scented, so they won’t leave your little one’s curls overly perfumed.) $14 each; youngkinghaircare.com

“IF YOU ASK ME”: COURTESY OF THE SUBJECTS. “THE SHORT LIST”: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS. SHOPPING CART: ALF DESIGN/THE NOUN PROJECT.

“I would let your friend know how much you value her and express that this year has been filled with an overload of new situations. Then say you’ve noticed she’s been spending time with people, and that while you respect the decisions she makes for her family, you feel more comfortable having outdoor, masked playdates with those who keep their social circle small. Maybe you can agree to observe some CDC guidelines together. You can also ask your pediatrician for their opinion on playdates or look at how your kids’ school keeps students safe, then instill those rules as your own.”

Give yourself a break from answering the (thrice!) daily question, What should my kids eat now? The new Plates plan from Little Spoon delivers fresh, healthy favorites weekly, for kids ages 1 to 10, right to your door. You can pick from more than 20 veggiepacked options—all ready in the microwave in 60 to 90 seconds. From $5 per meal; littlespoon.com

1 / THE ESSENTIALS /

GETTING H YG G E WITH IT

What we might think of as cabin fever the Danish refer to as hygge — and they own it, turning the act of hunkering down into a true pleasure. Fully embracing their attitude right now seems particularly smart. Don’t ask if winter is over yet; find a way to love it!

4 5

1. Settle in with a puzzle to dial down stress (seriously, it’s science). A 500-piece puzzle from Mudpuppy means the kids can help out and the adults won’t be bored. $14; mudpuppy.com 2. Pad around in Merippa Reversible House Shoes. Flip them inside out to change up the pattern, then throw into the wash for cleaning. $59; topdrawershop.com 3. This stoneware Oiva Teapot will keep your hot water handy so you can refill your mug without getting up. $95; marimekko.com

“THE ESSENTIALS”: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. TEAPOT: COURTESY OF THE BRAND.

/ TA K E 5 /

ONE PHRASE TO U N F R A Z Z LE

4. Earthiness is a hygge tenet, so bring the outdoors in with this low-light pothos plant. It arrives via mail—prepotted. $61; thesill.com 5. The treat-yourself-right flavors in this Teabag & Honey Sampler include Hot Cinnamon Spice and Egyptian Chamomile (and the box also has ten honey sticks). $25 for 60 tea bags; harney.com

Self-hypnosis, the practice of entering a trance-like state to de-stress and become more open to suggestions, might sound like something out of a sci-fi movie, but it’s actually a powerful mindfulness tool. Jake Rubin, a board-certified hypnotherapist and cofounder of MamaZen, a stress-relief app for moms, offers this quick exercise to help you get there: Take three deep breaths and count backward from ten. Relax, feel the calm around you, and repeat a mantra, like “I can handle whatever comes my way” or “I am exactly the parent my kids need, and I am enough.” (“It’s almost bedtime” could work too.)

6. Give your room spa vibes with the Hinoki Lavender Reed Diffuser and its notes of sandalwood and lotus flower. $48; apothekeco.com 7. No reason you can’t claim a security blanket as your own. Hog the UGG Classic Sherpa Throw Blanket. $50; bedbathandbeyond.com

P L AY B O O K

/ THE HIGHS AND LOWS /

Sheinelle Jones

“I meet so many people on Today and often wonder how their upbringing contributed to their success,” says Sheinelle Jones, cohost of NBC News’s 3rd Hour of Today and a mom of three. That sparked her “Through Mom’s Eyes” video series on Today.com, in which Jones interviews mothers of celebs, including Shaquille O’Neal and Serena and Venus Williams. Jones knows her own momming aptitudes—and accepts that matching up socks is not one of them.

fun and spontaneous, and I genuinely have a good time with my kids.

My kryptonite Organizing. I wish I were a whiz at mastering my kids’ schedules—Kayin, 11, and twins Clara and Uche, 8—along with my own: nightly meal planning, grocery shopping, laundry, all of that stuff. But I stink. Still, my kids are happy, and so am I.

Best part of working mornings I typically get to finish my day fairly early, when most people are just starting their lunch break. In normal times, I can pick up my kids from school.

Worst part of working mornings I struggle to stay awake past 8 p.m. My husband stopped asking me to watch a movie on a Friday night long ago. He’d look over at me and I’d be asleep! Quite often, I go to bed before my children. “I’ve applied a lot of what moms have told me to my own parenting,” Jones says.

Meal I make that the fam loves Believe it or not, my sautéed kale and chickpeas is a megahit in my house. My kids could eat it every day.

Meal I tried that the fam rejected I see commercials with moms cooking awesome meals in a slow cooker, so I figured I’d give that a try. One night I made some kind of chicken

stew with salsa in a slow cooker. I thought it was so good! I ended up being the only one who would eat it. My twins don’t like their food to “touch,” which makes any casserole impossible.

What I love to do with the kids Have a dance party, cranking up music and just having a ball.

What I hate to do with the kids If a fairy godmother could grant me one duty that I’d never have to do again, it’d be folding clothes. And doing dishes.

At least I have this down I have learned how to compartmentalize pretty well. When I’m with my kids, I’m all in. When I’m working during the show, I’m all in. I’m focused on what’s in front of me.

What I’m still trying to figure out More meals that all three of my kids will eat. Between food allergies and picky eating, it is a challenge. I generally make different dishes for everybody, which is crazy. I’m working on it.

Best and worst trait the kids got from me I remember my mom telling me to stop talking so much. Now, three kids of my own later, I guess they’re all just like me! (LOL!) The good news is, perhaps they can turn it into a career, like their mom did.

WAS H T H E D I S H E S R EC O M M E N D E D AG E : 2 +

Yes, you can get a toddler—creator of 95 percent of the dirty plates and cups in any house—to help clean up. Patiently show rather than tell them how it’s done. After all, little kids thrive on freedom, not direct orders. (Just FYI, maybe set aside the breakables and start with plastic!) 1 Set the stage (er, sink). Cut a sponge or a washcloth in half—it’s easier for tiny hands to hold—or get a mini brush. Have a small bottle of dish soap nearby, a step stool for them to stand on, and a towel so they can wipe up spills. (Hot tip: Put one under the stool, too, to soak up inevitable splashing.) Push up their sleeves and pull back their hair.

2 Choose your method. Your kid will be thrilled to do the task just like their grown-ups. You prefer a sink filled with sudsy water? Or just a soap-soaked sponge? Do that for your child too.

3 Scrub-a-dub. Point out the leftover sauce on the plate and use circular or up-and-down motions to wipe it off. Then give your kid a stained dish and let them try.

4 Rinse. Turn on the faucet for your kid to wash off all the bubbles and gunk.

5 Dry. Have your helper gently place the dish in the drying rack. Sources: Zahra Kassam, creator of Monti Kids and a former teacher; Angeline Lillard, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Virginia.

TA N T R U M O F T H E M O N T H > She can’t take the printed dress off her tiny LEGO figure and put it on herself and is incandescent with rage. @SorchaNiAodh

PA R E N T S

12 F EBRUA RY

2021

FROM LEFT: NBC/CONTRIBUTOR/GETTY; STURTI/GETTY.

My parenting superpower I’m pretty

Designed around your life

From newborn. To toddler. To big kid. They keep on growing. One thing that is constant? Their need for comfort and a space to call their own. A gentle nudge from you sways LEAF™ grow from side-to-side. Just like being rocked in your arms. Down and up they go with an adjustable recline that grows with them. Your child will adore it. No matter how old they are.

Big eater. Messy eater. Playful eater. It’s all good with ZAAZ™ at the table. ZAAZ is more compact than most high chairs, so it’s easier to slide right up to the table. And since food is to kids what paint was to Picasso, we’ve made sure it’s easy to clean. Wipe ZAAZ down or just remove the parts and pop them in the dishwasher. Less cleanup time. More time to play.

Put up. Put down. Transform any room into baby’s room—in seconds. Whether it’s a family get-together or a trip to grandma’s house, SENA™ aire series is your indispensable travel companion. It’s revolutionary design is also evolutionary: growing beyond newborn through toddlerhood, and even doubling as a playspace.

HELP THEM THRIVE I N E V E RY WAY

T E A C H K I D S T O E AT A DV E N T U R O U S LY S U P E R C O O L VA L E N T I N E ’ S D AY C A R D S _ _ _ _ _ _ _T H E Y E A R ’ S B E S T B A B Y G E A R

MELANIE ACEVEDO.

Teach Your Child What Family Really Means In a world where all kinds of ties bind parents to their children—whether the grown-ups are single moms or divorced dads, samesex couples or adoptive guardians—it’s important to show kids that what matters is not who makes up a family but the love they share. by A D R I E N N E FA R R PA R E N T S

15 F E B R U A R Y

2021

K I D S ÑVa lu e s

A S I A P P R OAC H E D 4 0,

With % mi k at ast ha f f adu ts had a w r d sir t at than b f r br akfast f r 3 / h urs

still single, it was clear that my knight in shining armor, or any knight, for that matter, wasn’t on his way. I could live with that, but the need to be a mother was, for me, nonnegotiable. In 2014 I googled my options, finding a new term: Single Mother by Choice (SMC), which includes women who conceive with donor sperm. I decided this would be my path. In 2016, I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. But the reality of raising my daughter without a dad can be daunting. I worry: Will she think she is missing out? As an adult, will she know how to navigate relationships with men? As I reported this story, experts assured me that the most important factor for healthy child development is the emotional availability of a parental figure, not how the rest of the family unit looks. But this isn’t so easy to remember when it feels like the world views my child and me as outliers. According to Pew Research Center, more than 50 percent of American kids live in nontraditional households (defined as any family other than two married, heterosexual parents in their first marriage with their biological kids). Yet there’s still a segment of society that considers the so-called traditional family as the ideal. When this ethos is passed down from adults to kids, it can perpetuate bias and ignorance, resulting in the taunting and bullying of children in single-parent households, families formed by same-sex parents, and every other variation. Cyana Riley, a former Washington, D.C., teacher, a mom of two, and author of Not So Different, says, “I had to answer questions in my classroom about why a child didn’t have a mommy. I told the kid who was asking that instead of having a mommy and a daddy, this child had two daddies who loved them very much.” Todd Parr, writer of dozens of children’s books about nontraditional families, has also seen firsthand how a parent’s ideas about family can influence their children. When he visited schools to read his titles The Mommy Book and The Daddy Book to students, he received pushback about the sentence that referenced

PA R E N T S

16 F E B R U A R Y

2021

two-mom and two-dad households. “It created problems for educators,” says Parr, “because parents were against their kids hearing this factual information, even in an age-appropriate manner.” When these attitudes trickle down to kids, their peers in nontraditional families can expect to hear comments about the supposed strangeness of their clan. “You don’t look like anybody in your family,” a kid might tell an adopted child. Or, “Why do you live with your grandma?” The alienation a child may feel upon hearing this can be painful. But we are far from powerless in the fight to change this outcome. Kids, as any parent knows, are sponges. “Children are always watching, and our actions speak louder than our words,” says Parents advisor Wayne Fleisig, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at Children’s of Alabama, in Birmingham. Here’s how to give your child a wide-ranging and inclusive picture of family so they treat other children with kindness, feel pride in their own roots, and grow up to build a life that makes them happy.

Find children’s media featuring every kind of family. It’s easy to normalize nontraditional families through picture books and TV shows “so that when your kids do come across different kinds of families in real life, it’s not weird at all,” says Kiaundra Jackson, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles. She suggests the book My Family, Your Family, by Lisa Bullard, about a little girl named Makayla who goes through the neighborhood looking for something

Scripts for Talking to Kids About Different Family Setups Wise words to help you teach your kids about the many kinds of families from psychologist Kelley Abrams, Ph.D., of the health-care company Cognoa, in Santa Clara County, California

Adoptive and Foster Families “Sometimes mommies and daddies can’t take care of a baby, so they find another family to love and care for them.” (Note: Reassure your child that you are capable of caring for them if they express worry about adoption.) PRESCHOOL:

“There are times, before a baby is born, when a parent might have to make a hard decision to give their baby away. Maybe they don’t have a home, or are sick or too young. Then special people come and choose to care for and love these children, take them home, and become their parents.” E L E M E N TA R Y S C H O O L :

“Babies may need new families for lots of reasons, but often it is because their birth parents are too young to care for them or too sick, or there are difficult things happening in their lives that keep them from offering a baby a safe place to live. When these things happen, babies and children are adopted into new families who love and take care of them. The child may or may not grow up knowing their birth parents. Do you have any other questions, or is there anything else you want to know?” TWEEN:

Transgender-Parent Family “Some people feel like a boy and some people feel like a girl and some people feel like neither. But however a person looks and however they feel on the inside, they love their kids exactly the same.” PRESCHOOL:

E L E M E N TA R Y S C H O O L :

STEPHANIE RAUSSER.

“Sometimes people have genders that don’t match their bodies, so they live as the opposite gender or with no gender at all. But it doesn’t change how they love their kids.” “A person’s sex or genitals are different from their gender identity. Some people TWEEN:

identify as male, some as female, some as both, and some as neither. They are all loving parents too.”

Same-Sex-Parent Households “There are families with two moms or two dads who love each other. They are wonderful and loving parents.” PRESCHOOL:

“Families can come in many combinations, like with two mommies or two daddies. Their families are full of love, just like ours.” E L E M E N TA R Y S C H O O L :

Rather than sticking to a script, try to have a fuller discussion of all the LGBTQ+ terms and what they mean, plus topics of inclusion, diversity, and discrimination. (Start with our guide to broaching the topic with TV, film, and books, on page 19.) TWEEN:

Donor Egg or Donor Sperm and Surrogacy “Babies grow when an egg and sperm come together. Sometimes the sperm comes from the baby’s daddy, and sometimes it comes from someone else who wants to help a mommy have a baby.” PRESCHOOL:

“A baby is made when an egg is fertilized by sperm, which can come from a donor who wants to help people become parents. People need eggs or sperm donated for lots of reasons, like if a single woman wants to be a mom or two men want to be dads. They need a woman to grow the baby in her uterus—she’s called a surrogate.” E L E M E N TA R Y S C H O O L :

Have a discussion (rather than sticking to talking points), keeping explanations simple and using anatomical terms, about the situations in which donors may be used: a single woman who wants a child, a lesbian couple, a male-female couple struggling to conceive, or a transgender couple. TWEEN:

10 LAYERS

OF WHEAT

IN EVERY BITE

SILENCE

K I D S ÑVa lu e s

YOUR

great about the variety of families she encounters. Or try the film Despicable Me, a goofy farce about a supervillain who grows close to three girls from an adoption agency. (Spoiler: He becomes dad to all three.) Parr, whose books like It’s Okay to Be Different are also useful, adds that focusing on the love in these stories gets the message across. “Kids in any healthy family unit will relate to that,” he says.

Hang out with different kinds of families. Dr. Fleisig suggests that you “talk to your child about the differences in the

HELP KIDS HANDLE AWK WARD COMMENTS As therapist Kiaundra Jackson says, “Many kids don’t mind telling their truth: Their mom transitioned, or a parent died.” But they may not know exactly how to say this. If your child is at a loss for words, these scripts can help. Q: “Your parents don’t live together?” A: “My parents love me very much, and two separate houses means two different types of fun.” —Cyana Riley

Q: “Why don’t you live with your real mom?” A: “I do. I have a mommy I live with and a tummy mommy who gave birth to me.” —Jessica Butler

PA R E N T S

18 F E B R U A R Y

2021

family beforehand so they don’t say something during the encounter that might unintentionally be hurtful.” Jessica Butler, stepmom of two sons, adoptive mom of another, and cofounder of Raise Magazine, a lifestyle site for nontraditional families, recently took her youngest child to play with a friend whose parents were divorced. Before they arrived, she explained the familial setup by saying, “Do you know that your friend has two different houses? Sometimes she lives with her mommy, and sometimes she lives with her daddy. Isn’t that cool?”

Q: “You don’t even know your dad?” A: “The great thing about families is that they are all unique. Some families have only a mom. Mine loves me just as much as your family loves you.” —Cyana Riley

Q: “You have two dads?!” A: “Yes, I’m lucky. I get twice the love.” —Todd Parr Q: “Why do you live with your grandparents instead of your parents?” A: “People in families often step up to help each other out when they’re needed. My grandparents love and take care of me just like the people in your family love and take care of you.” —Cyana Riley

THIS PAGE: PRISCILLA GRAGG. OPPOSITE: DANIEL TIGER’S NEIGHBORHOOD AND DINOSAUR TRAIN, COURTESY OF PBS KID. MOESHA, EVERETT COLLECTION. TOY STORY AND MEET THE ROBINSONS, BUENA VISTA PICTURES/COURTESY EVERETT COLLECTION. BREAKFAST WITH SCOT, CAPRI FILMS/COURTESY EVERETT COLLECTION. BOOKS, COURTESY OF THE PUBLISHERS.

GROWL

“If kids are used to being friends with children from all types of families,” Jackson says, “they can be allies for each other. So if there is a disparaging remark made, it’s like, ‘Hey, don’t talk to my friend like that. So what if she has two daddies?’ There’s an alliance there.”

Starting the Conversation To raise the subject of nontraditional families, try one (or more!) of these age-appropriate shows, films, and books.

Preschool

Elementary School

Tween

STREAM

The animated series Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood features some of the most nontraditional families on television, including a single parent and a guardian caring for his nephew.

In the lively series Dinosaur Train, a mother Pteranodon realizes one of her hatching eggs contains a baby T. rex, whom she adopts. “This is your family, and I’m your mom,” she tells him. “We may be different, but we’re all creatures.”

Try Moesha (about a daughter whose widower dad remarries), The Fosters (a family of bio, adopted, and foster kids helmed by a lesbian couple), or Modern Family, which features a stepparent, gay parents, and an adopted child.

W AT C H

Sometimes it’s not about a new tale but changing how you discuss an old fave. In Toy Story 1–3, Andy is the child of a single mom. Pointing that out can reframe a kid’s view of a family they already know and love.

The quirky film Meet the Robinsons centers on Lewis, a precocious resident of an orphanage who uses a time machine to search for his birth mom. Instead, he finds something even better: a loving new family.

A gay man becomes his nephew’s guardian in Breakfast With Scot, and parenthood turns his and his partner’s life upside down (in a good way). Be warned: There are a few swear words but also a ton of heart.

READ

In Love Makes a Family, by Sophie Beer, a vibrant board book full of color, humor, and delight, kids play with their two moms, two dads, and the grandparent who is raising them.

Jennifer Bryan’s perfect-for-bedtime story (about bedtime stories!), The Different Dragon, tells of a boy named Noah who helps one of his two moms craft a thrilling tale about a dragon on a wild adventure.

Dana Alison Levy’s novel The Misadventures of the Family Fletcher takes middle-grade readers into a family of four adopted brothers and two dads whose interactions with the world tend to go hilariously awry.

Empower your child. Instilling confidence starts in the home. A child with high self-esteem has a deeper well of resilience should they be on the receiving end of clueless or cruel comments or questions. If you haven’t already, start allowing your kid to be part of certain household decisions like what to make for dinner, how chores are divvied up, or what your weekend plans will be. Having them feel they’re contributing to the family builds confidence in the unit, gives them an armor of self-worth, and sets them up for inner stability, Jackson says.

Answer all their questions. Parents may find that they are uncomfortable with explaining certain family types to their children, worrying, for example, that talking about divorce may make a child fear their parents could also split up, or that bringing up a transgender parent will raise thorny questions about gender identity. “But you would rather your child get information from you than misinformation from others—or make it up for themselves,” Dr. Fleisig says. Take your time and think about what you want to say in advance, he adds. And know that sometimes complex conversations build a stronger bond. Says Jackson, “Your kids will know they can talk to you about anything, and that is vital, especially as they mature.”

Check in with teachers. If you notice that your child has become withdrawn, seems ashamed of speaking about your family, or no longer enjoys going to school, talk to their teacher, Jackson advises. See if any type of bullying has occurred, and collaborate on sharing information about your child’s well-being. It’s also a good idea to let the teacher know about your family dynamic so they can serve as a resource and an ally.

Make a Love Bot MAKE A HEART STAMPED T-SHIRT!

Hearts and Crafts Valentine’s Day may look a little different this year, with fewer classroom parties and more at-home fun. Get those creative juices flowing with these kid-friendly activities from Juicy Juice.

Stamp with Love

Play Musical Hearts Cut out 20 hearts using felt or construction paper. On the back of each heart, write a fun action that you know your child would love to do, whether it’s acting like a chicken or hopping on one foot. Place the hearts in a big circle on the floor, put on some music, and walk around the circle as if you were playing Musical Chairs. When the music stops, flip over the closest heart and perform!

Grab a plain white, pre-washed T-shirt, a heart-shaped cookie cutter, and a shallow bowl filled with a small amount of fabric paint. Place a piece of cardboard between the front and back of T-shirt so paint won’t bleed through. Dip the cookie cutter in the paint and use it to “stamp” the shirt with hearts anywhere you choose. Try different size cookie cutters and colors to add variety. Refer to paint label for drying time and fabric care— once paint is dry remove the cardboard and iron on reverse side to set the color.

Materials: Googly eyes, tape, glue, scissors, marker, pipe cleaners, empty 6.75 ounce Juicy Juice box, Valentine’s Day gift wrap, and stickers. 1. Wrap your empty juice box in Valentine’s Day gift wrap using glue or tape. 2. Glue your robot’s eyes in place. 3. Use glue or tape to attach your robot’s pipe cleaner arms. 4. Use glue or tape to add another pipe cleaner to the top of the robot’s head. 5. Draw your robot’s mouth with a marker, then add stickers or other fun accents.

Kids Love the Taste! Calling All Happy Artists Have your kids draw what makes them 100% happy for a chance to have their art featured on our happiest packaging ever, plus WIN $500 worth of art supplies! For more details, visit JuicyJuice.com/HappyArtist

On heart day and every day, there’s so much to love about Juicy Juice. It’s 100% juice, with no added sugar and no high fructose corn syrup. And with one serving of fruit in every 8 ounces, Juicy Juice is the drink you can feel good about giving to your kids. juicyjuice.com

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. OPEN ONLY TO LEGAL U.S. RESIDENTS, 2–10 YRS OLD; PARENT ENTERS FOR CHILD. Contest Dates: 1/6–2/28/2021. Void where prohibited. For Ofﬁcial Rules go to www.juicyjuice.com/happyartist. Sponsor: Harvest Hill Beverage Company.

K I D S Ñ Fo o d

W AY S T O R A I S E A N A D V E N T U R O U S E AT E R It may seem like an impossible dream right now, but your kid has the potential to love all kinds of food. Here’s how to prime their taste buds for life with help from chefs, nutrition experts, and fellow moms and dads in the chicken-nugget trenches. by S A L M A A B D E L N O U R G I L M A N / photograph by P R I S C I L L A G R A G G

MY KIDS SPENT

their first couple of years eating anything we put in front of them. “What’s the big deal about getting kids to try new things?” I’d say as I roasted arctic char or stirred a chickpea stew. But then the jig was up. My 5-year-old daughter refused anything except mac ’n’ cheese. Her big brother pushed away his old favorites, from his grandma’s stuffed Lebanese meatballs to his dad’s lemony scallops.

PA R E N T S

22 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Bringing up adventurous eaters, we learned from experts, is a moving target. “This is a marathon, not a sprint,” says Katie Morford, R.D., author of Mom’s Kitchen Handbook. Meanwhile, we try different foods, different moves. We’re silently grateful every time our kids discover a new dish they love (linguine with clam sauce was a recent win), or at least tolerate. Whatever your kids’ eating habits look like now,

take heart in knowing they will evolve. Although the flavor exposures that kids can get from eating dinner at a friend’s house, sharing snacks at the playground, traveling, or trying new cuisines at restaurants have mostly vanished in the last year, they’ll return. And in the meantime, you can create some food adventures at home with some help from food experts and parents.

ONE GREEN BEAN, PLEASE

Decades ago, dietitian Ellyn Satter, R.D., developed her now-famous method for raising kids who have a healthy relationship with food: Caregivers decide what to serve and when to do it, and kids get to decide whether to eat and how much.

K I D S Ñ Fo o d

Make Their Comfort Foods Work for You

Look, Sniff, and Lick A French teaching method called Sapere encourages kids to get to know foods by using all five senses before and during eating. “They’re allowed to explore food without any pressure to eat it,” says Bettina Elias Siegel, author of Kid Food. Here’s how you can adapt the concept.

Pairing your kid’s on-repeat favorites with other foods can be a helpful way to nudge them into new territory. Consider these go-to ingredients as some good gateways. 1 CHEESE

R E W R ITE YO U R S C R I P T

Getting kids to try whatever you’re serving is sometimes a matter of spinning your words the right way. 5

TRY

“Which do you want, kale or cauliflower?”

“Did you put salt or pepper on your broccoli?”

INSTEAD OF

The familiar taste and crunch can entice kids to eat the protein du jour. If you’re serving fish or meat, coat it in breading and—voilà—fish fingers or schnitzels.

“Do you want a vegetable?”

“Oh wow, you ate the broccoli!”

“They get to make a choice, but they’re still getting a vegetable.”

—Mamis

TRY

“If your kid finally tried a food, don’t make a big deal about it. Rather, show interest in how they seasoned it, for instance. Now you’re making that child feel very powerful in their decisions around broccoli.”

—Hillary Mamis, R.D., a dietitian in Andover, Massachusetts

2 BREADCRUMBS

MUFFINS

Savory muffins and quick breads are a tasty, soothing delivery system for veggies. Try adding 1 cup shredded zucchini to a chocolate muffin recipe. —Mandy Sacher, a cookbook author and founder of Wholesome Child Academy

The sweet-and-salty strips draw kids to almost anything: Crumble as a topping for soup, or wrap a slice around a scallop. For a meatless option, toss shiitake mushrooms in olive oil and roast at 400°F for 15 to 20 minutes to mimic an umami-packed, bacon-like taste. —Maya Feller, R.D., a nutritionist in New York City

24 F E B R U A R Y

“Many fire chiefs love broccoli because it makes them great at their job.” INSTEAD OF

—Melanie Potock, author of Adventures in Veggieland

“Broccoli has vitamins. It’s good for you.”

“Little kids don’t care about their long-term health. We have to start connecting food and their passions. My son wants to be a firefighter, for instance.” —Sam Kass, a food policy advisor and former White House chef 7

BACON

PA R E N T S

—Morford

2021

TRY

“Would you like your chicken grilled or sautéed?” INSTEAD OF

“Do you want chicken?”

11 Stop to smell the rosemary!

Pick up a few herbs with strong scents (basil, mint, rosemary), or gather assorted pints of berries. At home, get your kids to describe the smell, look, or taste of each item. 12 Every exposure counts. “If

a child resists tasting a certain food, I’ll say, ‘Are you ready to try licking it?’ If they say no, then say, ‘How about giving it a kiss?’ It’s about starting to expose kids to foods, even if they’re not ready to actually eat them yet.” —Sacher

TRY

“My kid is an adventurous eater in training!” INSTEAD OF

“My kid is so picky!”

“Labels can be self-fulfilling.” —Morford 10 TRY

“Thanks for helping me wash the basil.” INSTEAD OF

“But you do like basil! You ate it yesterday!”

“You’re still deciding what’s for dinner and what the options are; you’re not being a short-order cook.”

“If your kid helped you prep an ingredient they’ve liked before, but they’re refusing to eat it now, focus on what they were able to do.”

—Feller

—Potock

13 Food play is fun. “One

day I brought home fresh peas, and we made airplanes and dragonflies out of the shells. [My then 2-year-old] enjoyed that game, and suddenly he was more open to trying peas. He loved them; they’re still a food he consistently eats.” —Shireen Tawil, a researcher in London

14 Mystery foods add

intrigue. “I’ll choose five foods, and the kids have to taste them and guess what each one is while they’re blindfolded. Then it’s their turn to do it to me. They’ll taste anything just to get Mom.” —Sacher

FROM TOP: GRACE HUANG; DANE TASHIMA.

Sprinkle shredded cheddar or Gruyère over vegetables like spinach and asparagus which, in all fairness, can taste bitter to kids. Wrap it all in packaged puff-pastry dough, and bake as the box directs. (Veggie puffs for the win!)

R E M IX TH E I R VEGGIES

Level Up Their Kitchen Skills

If your kid eyes all things vegetable with trepidation, try presenting those dishes in cool new ways (skewers and smoothies help).

Hey, if they make it, they’ll be more likely to eat it. Dial up the fun factor to maximize your chances.

Salad

Veggie Skewers

“Thread cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, and mozzarella balls on a stick, and let the kids eat with their hands.” —Morford 21

Kale Green Smoothie “My kids don’t always love to eat vegetables, but they will drink them in a smoothie. I blend together mango, kale, and coconut water.” —Adanna Dill, a lifestyle blogger in New York City 22

Plain Sautéed Spinach Sesame-Lime Spinach

Make It a Self-Serve Night Put out all the ingredients and let kids handle the assembly. When the pressure’s off, the veggies just might pile on. 15

F I S H TA C O N I G H T

DIY NOODLE BOWLS

Choose a flaky, mild-tasting variety like flounder or cod. Include shredded red cabbage for a change; kids tend to gravitate to the color and crunch.

Pair soba noodles with shaved carrot strips, sliced scallions, tofu cubes, sesame seeds, and crushed peanuts. 18 NAAN BREAD PERSONAL PIZZAS

Challenge kids to use toppings (like bell pepper strips, halved cherry tomatoes, and meatballs) to spell their name or initials.

FROM TOP: LINDA XIAO; STEPHANIE RAUSSER.

LOADED BAKED P O TAT O B A R

In addition to staples like cheese and bacon bits, add tuna and broccoli florets.

“My 5-year-old wasn’t too big on spinach, but when I sprinkled lime and salt on it and sautéed it in a bit of sesame oil, she loved it.” —Nancy Jiménez, a mom in New York City 23

Mushrooms

SNACK BOARD

Lay out cold cuts, cheese, veggies, hummus, pitted olives, bowls of nuts, raisins, and other dried fruit, and let kids ages 4 and up graze.

Put a variety of veggies on the table, and slice them into different shapes if the kids are too young to do it themselves. Ask the kids to create a work of veggie art on parchment paper. Drizzle with a little olive oil, add a dash of salt and pepper, and roast at 400°F for 30 minutes. Remove from the oven and admire their creation. —Potock 26 C O O K T H E K I T

Get inspo from Eat2Explore’s international boxes ($25; eat2explore.com). The Japan box comes with kid-friendly chopsticks plus recipes for chicken katsu, salmon teriyaki, and okonomiyaki pancakes. Seasonings are included. 27 G E T T H E M G E A R

“My 7-year-old wasn’t a fan of veggies until I got him plastic kid-friendly knives from Jovitec. ” —Dill

Hand Pies

“I make veggie hand pies for my little brother, who isn’t as adventurous as I was at his age. Cut store-bought pie dough into hand-size circles, top with sautéed mushrooms or other cooked veggies, and fold into moon shapes. Pinch the edges closed and bake until the crust turns golden brown.” —Rahanna Bisseret Martinez, finalist on Top Chef Junior 24

Parsnips Apple-Parsnip Pie 19

25 M A K E A M A S T E R P I E C E

Sub in parsnips for half the apples in a pie recipe. Cooked parsnips get a sweet flavor that blends nicely with the apples. —Potock

28 E N C O U R A G E E X P E R I M E N TAT I O N

“When my son was making pancakes, I asked him to think about what he could add to change the flavor profile, so he decided to use almond flour. The pancakes were incredible.” —Feller

K I D S Ñ Fo o d

Hold Out Hope! Parents tell us about the times kids gobbled up a food no one would’ve guessed they’d eat. Moral of the story: Don’t assume you know your kid’s palate. 29 “I made kale chips but

C H E C K O U T H O W FO O D I S G RO W N

Learning where those walnuts (or pomegranates or mint leaves) come from might pique a kid’s curiosity just enough. 38 / R E A D How Did That Get

in My Lunchbox? The Story of Food, by Chris Butterworth, illustrated by Lucia Gaggiotti

Learning Tube: “I am fennel. My name starts with an F; your parents can cook me even though they aren’t a chef.”

are harvested (mindblowing!) or find the best way to get the arils out of a pomegranate.

39 / L I S T E N Play “The

40 / W AT C H Explore YouTube

41 / G R O W Start an herb

Vegetable Song,” by Kids

together to see how walnuts

garden on your windowsill.

accidentally overbaked them, so I knew they were going to be really bitter. I was about to warn my son off, but before I could, he took a bite, and then kept going back for more.”

Inhale. Exhale. Hang In There.

—Siegel

Our kids may not be the eaters we want them to be right away. So take the pressure off and stay calm. (Repeat ad infinitum.)

30 “We ordered in Thai curries

at a friend’s house, and my son ate them up even though he always refuses to try new foods. Sometimes it’s all about having a different setting.”

46 Shift the focus. Talk about

—Nicole Seminara, a mom of two in Charlotte, North Carolina

something besides food. Ask kids about a favorite part of the day, or get kids to name the funniest characters in the books they’ve read. When it’s a relaxed context, that’s when they are more likely to try a food for the first time. —Siegel

31 “At

a party, my then toddler grabbed a blini with smoked salmon and shoved it in her mouth.” —Morford

47 Stand your ground. “If 32 “ When my daughter was

you’re saying, ‘This is dinner: We’re having grilled steak with broccoli and rice,’ and the kid is like, ‘I won’t eat this! I want mac ’n’ cheese,’ don’t give in. Your job is to offer varied, nutritious food, and it’s up to your kids how much to eat.” —Mamis

—Jiménez

See What a Chopped Judge Cooks at Home S P I C E IT U P F RO M TH E S TA RT

Seasoning babies’ earliest foods with spices and herbs can help spur their taste buds to appreciate forward f lavors. with coriander and cumin 33 / H U M M U S

34 / R O A S T E D

V E G E T A B L E S with

garlic and thyme 35 / O A T M E A L with nutmeg and cinnamon 36 / P E A S with mint and tarragon 37 / Y O G U R T with dill and sea salt

PA R E N T S

26 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Maneet Chauhan’s kids, Shagun, 9, and Karma, 6, are growing up around Indian flavors and spices, thanks to both parents’ heritage. 42

R U M B L E -T U M B L E

FRUIT SUSHI

“This is a dish that Vivek Deora, my husband, used to have as a kid. It’s scrambled egg with Indian spices and cream in it. It’s delicious, and we’ll have that along with paratha, an Indian flatbread.”

“I make this with the kids, with sweetened rice. When we go out to dinner, they’ll ask for sushi, even sushi with salmon or tuna in it, because they’ve had something like it at home.”

INDIAN BREAD

TURMERIC MILK

“My kids love idli, which are fermented cakes of creamed rice and lentil. They also eat parathas, which can be stuffed with potatoes, paneer, or vegetables.”

“In India, you use spices not only for flavor but also for health benefits. We give the kids warm milk with a touch of turmeric, cardamom powder, and honey.”

48 Or offer a ho-hum backup.

“l’ll usually have something around that they can eat if they really don’t want what I made, like leftovers. But I try not to give them anything that they super like so they won’t be tempted to reject dinner too often.” —Dill 49 Accept the rejection.

“They’ll have ups and downs, liking certain foods one day and rejecting them the next. Know that some rejection is inevitable and normal. Give them the space.” —Mamis 50 Wait for it. Many feeding

experts say kids need to see a new food ten to 15 times before they’ll try it. The 16th might be the charm! —Siegel

LUIS GARCIA FOR RACHAEL RAY IN SEASON.

about 3, my mom boiled some cactus, put salt on it, and handed it to her in a resealable bag. My daughter started eating it, and she still loves it.”

ON YOUR FAVORITE

FIND THEM in the

REFRIGERATED AISLE

K I D S Ñ H e a lt h Ne w s

B A R K I N G C O U G H Croup,

Decode Your Kid’s Cough These days, symptoms are more stressful than ever. But sounds and other clues can help you decipher the cause and decide if you should see a doctor. W E T C O U G H Known as a

“productive” cough, it sounds gurgly and can produce mucus. The source? Usually a cold, flu, allergies, or postnasal drip (when mucus secretes into the back of your throat), says Micah Resnick, M.D., assistant professor of pediatrics at the

Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, in New York City. Contact your doctor if your child is 3 months or younger or has a high fever, trouble breathing, or the cough that lingers for longer than a week. D R Y C O U G H Most raspy

a viral infection of the upper airway, causes a cough that sounds like a seal (hence, “barking cough”). Other symptoms may include fever, a runny nose, and hoarseness. Croup usually goes away in three to seven days but can cause severe respiratory issues, so call your doctor immediately if your child has fast or labored breathing. Touch base within a day or two if it’s just a barking cough but breathing is fine. S T R I D O R “This high-pitched

whistling or wheezing sound occurs if there’s a blockage in your child’s throat or larynx,” Dr. Resnick says. It could be croup, an allergic reaction, an injury to their airway, or an object stuck in their throat, so seek immediate medical attention if your child is in respiratory distress.

coughs are caused by irritation

—Tamekia Reece

MAKE THE MOST OF VIRTUAL VISITS There are two main types of pediatric telehealth appointments. Here’s what they cover and what you can expect.

At-Home Visit THE ISSUE:

Your kid has a cold, a rash, allergies, or a minor injury (ankle sprain, insect bite) or needs physical therapy, a postsurgical follow-up, or mental-health services (yes, even for kids—they tend to feel more comfortable at home). W H AT YO U ’ L L N E E D :

This is a real-time, video-based appointment at your house. You use your computer, phone, or tablet to connect with your doc through a program that complies with medical privacy laws, like Amwell, Doxy.me, or Zoom for Healthcare. Some providers perform well-child checkups this way (with a brief in-person visit later for shots, hearing and vision screening, or a physical exam).

Outpatient Telehealth THE ISSUE:

Your child requires care or special equipment that isn’t available nearby or can’t be accessed at your house, such as a blood draw, stitches removal, or a particular type of exam (like a heart murmur evaluation by a cardiologist). W H AT YO U ’ L L N E E D :

PAGING DR. MOM

My 7-year-old still seems to be in a “whining phase.” What should I do?

A Whining typically peaks between ages 2 and 4, but it’s totally normal if it pops up after that. The behavior can signal frustration, hunger, exhaustion—or simply a way to win your gaze. To curb it, do some detective work. If you notice your kid consistently cries or complains when they’re hungry or tired, have a snack handy or make time for a restful activity after school, like reading or drawing. If their whining seems like an attentionseeking habit, squeeze in some one-on-one time and talk about ways they can better communicate their needs. (This works best when everyone is calm rather than in the midst of griping.) If the whining worsens, check for signs—such as changes in sleep or appetite or other sudden behavior changes like long tantrums—that could indicate a broader issue. Your anxiety or tension can also impact your kid’s mood, even if you think you’re shielding them from it. Our world can be scary for kids, so assure them that they’re safe. Talk to your child’s doc if you feel it’s something deeper, but remember that as aggravating as it is, this too shall pass. Source: Emily Edlynn, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and Parents.com’s Ask Your Mom advice columnist

PA R E N T S

28 F EBRUA RY

2021

—Kyleigh Leddy

Rather than traveling to a specialist, your child will go to your doctor’s office or another nearby facility, like the E.R. A nurse will assist in person as a doctor at a different location provides care through video. Sources: Nicole Leigh Aaronson, M.D., a pediatric otolaryngologist at Nemours/ Alfred I. duPont Hospital for Children, in Wilmington, Delaware; Alison Brent, M.D., medical director of The Children’s Hospital Network of Care at Children’s Hospital Colorado and a member of the Executive Committee of the AAP Section on Telehealth Care; Christina Olson, M.D., medical director of telehealth at Children’s Hospital Colorado.

—T.R.

FROM LEFT: KELLY KNOX/STOCKSY; HALFPOINT IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES.

to the throat from allergies, viral infections, postnasal drip, acid reflux, or asthma, says Katherine Williamson, M.D., a pediatrician at Southern Orange County Pediatric Associates in Ladera Ranch, California. COVID-19 can also cause a dry cough (though some people experience a wet cough, and kids may not have a cough at all); the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends calling your pediatrician to help determine if your kid should get tested.

The ABCs of ZZZs “Sleep like a baby” sounds dreamy—until you realize it means waking up and crying every two hours, all night long. Here, expertbacked tips to get your wee one snoozing for longer stretches, so you can get more rest too.

that sequence with sleep, which helps their body and mind get ready for rest.

Focus on Falling Asleep

4 Facts About Sleep 1

PROJECT B A BY

12+

That’s how many languages Goodnight Moon has been translated into since Margaret Wise Brown published the book in 1947; it’s also sold an estimated 48 million-plus copies.

Your Guide to Baby Basics

2 16 HOURS

The amount of time a newborn typically sleeps throughout an entire day. By age 2, that reduces to about 12 hours.

3 3 STEPS

When parents followed the specific trio of bath, massage, and then lullaby, researchers found that infants fell asleep faster and had fewer nighttime wakings.

4 20 MINUTES

FROM TOP: DIANE DURONGPISITKUL/STOCKSY; STEPHANIE RAUSSER.

Time It Right For the first months of your newborn’s life, sleep happens at all hours (they’re still getting used to being outside of your uterus!). But between 8 and 10 weeks, their circadian rhythm begins to sync nighttime sleep with, well, nighttime. For most babies, an early bedtime (7 p.m. is a good target) means an easier go at falling asleep, longer stretches of sleep, and more sleep overall, while keeping your baby up later or moving bedtime around can backfire. In fact, the “witching hour”— evening fussiness that many parents come to dread—may be a sign of overtiredness. Yawning and eye rubbing indicate you’ve waited too long, so try to start your routine before then.

Go Dark Light signals to the brain that it’s time to wake up (look, sunrise!), and your baby’s eyes are drawn to brightness. To help cue your baby that it’s time for sleep, invest in blackout shades. Then test them out by sitting in the room with the lights off and shades drawn. Can you see a peek of sunlight around the window edges or under the doorway? Does the nightstand clock emit a glow? Tweak the environment to block out those sleep stealers.

Set a Schedule The bedtime routine should be simple and engaging, and follow the same steps every evening (say: pajamas, feeding, book, songs, then crib). Over time, your baby will associate

The average amount of time it takes for a 6-month-old to drift off, according to a study by the Finnish Institute for Health and Welfare.

Both adults and babies wake up several times a night. But only you naturally fall back asleep without someone singing you a lullaby. Your baby can learn, too, but only if they don’t rely on getting fed or rocked to sleep in the first place. Place your 3- to 6-month-old baby in their crib still awake, rather than letting them fall asleep in your arms during feeding. Mastering bedtime helps middle-of-thenight wakings decrease too.

Know When to Wake As your baby gets older, experts recommend establishing a cutoff time for their last nap of the day. That’s because of “sleep pressure,” the natural urge we all feel to want to snooze the longer we’re awake. While an infant’s “sleep pressure” might cause them to nod off after only 90 minutes, a 6-month-old needs about two to two-and-a-half hours awake after their last nap. So if their bedtime is at 7 p.m., be sure to wake them from their afternoon nap no later than 4:30 or 5 p.m. in order for their “sleep pressure” to build up again.

Don’t Stress Out Over One Bad Night Even the most solid sleeper can throw you a random up-all-night curveball. And while it can be maddening not to know the reason—teething? a language explosion? learning to stand? just keeping you on your toes?!—the reality is, you just won’t always know why. The important thing is to make sure your little one’s okay. Keep an eye out for illness, especially if the problem persists, and stick to your usual bedtime routine as best you can. Sources: Maria Escola, a certified Gentle Sleep Coach and founder of Sleepy Miracles Consulting; Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., Parents advisor and associate director of the Sleep Disorders Center at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia; Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright, sleep consultants and coauthors of The Happy Sleeper.

—Kate Rockwood

Make Baby’s Bath Time Better New mom Felicity Stiverson shares how Johnson’s products help her celebrate milestones, like setting up bath time for her daughter. ®

ESTABLISH A ROUTINE Structure is important for babies, especially during this uncertain time, so I felt a huge sense of accomplishment when we figured out a bath time routine that worked for me, my husband, and our daughter, Indigo, who was born in March. I set out everything we need, like the baby bathtub, a washcloth, and ® our Johnson’s products, and then my husband and I bathe and play with Indigo before changing her. Bath time gives us a chance to bond and wind down at the end of the day. Plus, it signals to my daughter that it’s almost time to go to sleep.

SCAN THE CODE TO DISCOVER GENTLE JOHNSON’S® PRODUCTS YOU CAN TRUST FOR YOUR BABY’S BATH TIME ROUTINE AT WALMART.

HAVE FUN WITH IT Even though Indigo is young, we try to make bath time more like playtime because we want her to look forward to getting clean and be comfortable around water. We haven’t introduced her to bath toys yet, but she gets excited when we sing songs and gently pour water over her. It’s rewarding because it took us about six weeks to get to a place where everyone in our family truly enjoyed bath time. Now, it’s something to look forward to.

USE GENTLE PRODUCTS ® My parents used Johnson’s products on me when I was growing up, so I knew I could trust them for my own daughter. ® ® Our go-to’s are Johnson’s Head-To-Toe ® Wash and Shampoo and Johnson’s Baby Shampoo, which we can get easily with Walmart’s contact-free curbside pickup and same-day delivery. Both of these ® products are made with a No More Tears formula that doesn’t irritate Indigo’s ® eyes. The fast-absorbing Johnson’s Baby Lotion has that classic fresh smell and is gentle on her skin. We’ve had a great experience with these products, and we feel really confident using them on our baby.

Hospitals choose us ﬁrst because we put gentle ﬁrst. Formulated for baby’s delicate skin, which is up to 30% thinner than adult skin. Pediatrician-tested. Hypoallergenic and free of dyes, parabens, and phthalates. © Johnson & Johnson Consumer Inc. 2020 Use products only as directed

THE BOOK NOOK Your monthly guide to making the most of storytime and raising forever readers

Road Trip! A Whiskers Hollow Adventure Written and illustrated by Steve Light

G ood for big

5 New Titles to Pick Up Now

imag inations.

No Buddy Like a Book Written by Allan Wolf, illustrated by Brianne Farley

The Extraordinary Book That Eats Itself

The cute menagerie on the cover sweeps kids into a rhyming story about, well, stories, and how they transport readers to places they’ve only dreamed about IRL. (“My launchpad is a science book / My mind’s a constellation / The only rocket fuel I need is my own imagination.”) With cool illustrations (shout-out to the colorful hot-air balloon), the book succeeds in making kids crave another story as soon as it ends—so factor that in at bedtime! Ages 4 to 8

Written by Susan Hayes and Penny Arlon, illustrated by Pintachan The fun concept here will captivate budding Earth Day fans. Each page explains a small action (like sorting out recycling) that can make a difference for the planet. Flip it over and the page serves up material for a related project. Kids simply pull away each glued-in page from the spine and use it to create recyclingbin labels, garden markers, and worm bins. Thirty projects later and—ta-da!—the book has been upcycled. Ages 7+

The Magical Reality of Nadia Written by Bassem Youssef and Catherine R. Daly, illustrated by Douglas Holgate In this book inspired by his 9-year-old daughter, political satirist Youssef weaves a tale about courage and magic in the face of prejudice. When a fellow sixth-grader teases the title character about her Egyptian heritage, a mystical surprise (reminiscent of the genie in Aladdin) from an antique amulet helps her confront the bully. Humorous black-and-white illustrations, including some comic pages, draw in even the nonbookworms. Ages 7+

PA R E N T S

32 F E B R U A R Y

2021

This lively story follows four animal pals as they traverse a land with giant acorns and precarious tree-branch roadways. Their shenanigans on a journey to a junkyard extend beyond making kids laugh—they showcase the power of teamwork and the freedom to be yourself. Light, known for his pen-and-ink drawings, packs details into each illustration, so treat yourselves to a second, pictures-only spin. Ages 2 to 5

The Owl Who Asks Why Written by Michelle Garcia Andersen, illustrated by Ayesha L. Rubio

Encourages

t q ue s

i on s

Kids will find the wordplay between baby critters and their parents amusing. (“Owls don’t ask Why ... Owls ask Who.”) And readers will sympathize with little owl and wolf, who aren’t taken seriously by other animals in the forest. Feeling like outcasts, they go on a journey that helps them realize staying true to yourself always pays off. (Woot!) Ages 4 to 8

K I D S—R e a d i n g

CHECK ’EM OUT (LITE R A LLY )

BOOK CRUSH

We asked librarians in different cities to reveal the most-borrowed kids’ title at their branch. (Get on the waiting list now.)

The Kids’ Book Beneath Her Wings A real-life duck inspires Tony winner Bette Midler’s imaginative new picture tale. entire oeuvre. I worship [author] Kay Thompson, although I gather she was a handful, just like Eloise.”

BOOKS: COURTESY OF THE PUBLISHERS. MIDLER: JAMES WHITE/TRUNK ARCHIVE. ROBINSON: CHRISTIAN ROBINSON PHOTO.

How can parents make storytime more fun—for their kids and themselves? “If you have books that

When a brightly colored mandarin duck popped up in New York City’s Central Park two years ago, many people took notice—including legendary performer Bette Midler. “The idea that this glamorous, exotic bird suddenly appeared in the midst of one of the hardest, least natural cities in the world, and that his very presence stirred something in people, was very moving to me,” says Midler, who recently starred in the second season of the Netflix series The Politician. She added dramatic flair to the duck’s arrival in her first children’s book, The Tale of the Mandarin Duck: A Modern Fable. In the story (which includes photos by book critic Michiko Kakutani), New Yorkers stare at their phones “as if nothing else existed” until they learn about the duck and want to see it for themselves.

What do you want children to get from your book? “I wrote the story before the pandemic. Back then, it looked as though smartphones had taken away our ability to really see each other and the world around us and to interact with it in a completely relaxed, human way. Since COVID-19, however, the mobile phone has been a lifeline for most people, and I’m glad to have it. Even though the virus is still with us, we all have the need to see the world in real time with our own two eyes. No screen can capture the joy and surprise of the natural world.”

If you could voice a children’s book character, who would it be? “I’ve always adored Eloise. I think I have the

SAN FRANCIS CO

Sisters, by Raina Telgemeier, ages 8 to 12 “Relatable, funny, and emotionally resonant, this graphic novel explores the ups and downs of growing up.” —Sarah Stone, San Francisco Public Library DENV ER

you loved, start with those, and tell your child how you were introduced to them. Make it a little bit of a tradition. Or add some excitement: ‘Oh, look what I found at the library today.’ Don’t read in a monotone or as if it were a chore. Act! Vocal variation goes a long way; up, down, faster, slower, louder, softer, because your child is picturing what they are hearing, and you want them to enjoy what they are picturing so that you make a reader. And if they want to hear it again, read it again.”

Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Wrecking Ball, by Jeff Kinney, ages 8 to 12 “During this challenging time, a familiar series has become more comforting.” —Amy Forrester, Denver Public Library

What books did your daughter want you to read on repeat? “She loved

New Kid, by Jerry Craft, ages 8 to 12 “In this graphic novel, the humor, encouraging text, and illustrations appeal to readers.” —Liv Hanson, Chicago Public Library

the Berenstain Bears books. She just adored the family and the way they interacted with each other. We got them all, and she still has them. But we also got fairy tales and the classics like The Little Engine That Could; the Babar and Curious George series; and Monkey See, Monkey Do. There was a ballerina phase, but it didn’t last.”

NASHV ILLE

Dog Man series, by Dav Pilkey, ages 7 to 10 “All nine Dog Man books are filled with action, humor, and positive themes.” —Joanna Roberts, Nashville Public Library CHICAG O

R AISING THE FUTURE BOOK CLUB

Have any books influenced your life? “Every book I finish changes my life, and many that I don’t finish. There is always something, a turn of phrase, an idea, a sentence, a revelation about how the world works, or an author who answers the question you’re asking yourself. I open books at random, and invariably I find exactly the advice I need.”

Understanding the Children of Inmates Newbery Medal–winning author Matt de la Peña and illustrator Christian Robinson (pictured) address the stigma of having an incarcerated parent in Milo Imagines the World. Taking the subway to visit his mom in prison, Milo sketches how he envisions the lives of the other riders. (Spoiler: The passengers’ lives aren’t as rosy as he imagines.) Hear Robinson, whose mom served time when he was a child, read the book on @Parents Instagram Live on February 13 at 2 p.m. (EST). For more details,visit parents.com/ BookClub. Ages 4 to 8

by K A R E N C I C E R O

K I D S —Va l e nt i n e ’s D a y

P L AY Y O U R C A R D S R I G H T They flip! They spin! They slide! These interactive valentines will utterly amaze both the giver and the receiver. Since kids may not be making them for the whole class this year, go all out for a few special someones. crafts by K I T I YA PA L A S K A S / photographs by T E D + C H E L S E A C AVA N AU G H

The Wonder Wheel R EC O M M E N D E D AG E : 5 AND UP T I M E R EQ U I R E D : A PPROX . 1 5 M I N UTE S

Hold a sheet of letter-size colored cardstock vertically and fold it in half, top to bottom. Trace the main card template (see page 38 to download) so the top edge meets the card’s fold. Cut the shape, leaving folded edge intact. Next, cut out six wedges from cardstock in three different colors, with two wedges of each color. Using a glue stick, adhere the wedges to the card’s front, alternating colors. Write a short message on each wedge. Using the arrow template, trace and cut out an arrow on cardstock in a fourth color. Push the tip of a round head fastener through the middle of the arrow and through the center of the card; secure in place. (Have an adult handle this step.)

PA R E N T S

34 F EBRUA RY

2021

MAKI N G S E VE R AL CARD S ? To save time, stack three sheets of cardstock when tracing and cutting out the templates.

S H A K E IT ! Set off a fab flutter with just a flick of the wrist.

Confetti Love Card R EC O M M E N D E D AG E : 5 AND UP T I M E R EQ U I R E D : A PPROX . 3 0 M I N UTE S

Hold a sheet of lettersize colored cardstock horizontally and fold it in half, left to right. This is the main card. Open it and lay it flat. On the left side of the fold, cut out a heart-shaped

“window” using the template (see page 38 to download) and an X-Acto knife. (Have an adult handle this step.) To create a border for the window, trace the border template onto cardstock in a different color and cut out. Use a glue stick to affix the border to the edges of the window. Fill a small cellophane gift bag halfway with heart-shaped confetti, or DIY some using

a mini heart-shaped hole punch. Fold the top 1/2 in. of bag; secure with tape. Trim a sheet of cardstock in a third color by 1/2 in. on every side; fold in half as you did the larger sheet. This is the insert. Adhere bag to the front of the insert using double-sided tape. Tape insert to the inside of the main card with the confetti bag showing through the window. Write a Valentine’s Day message.

K I D S ÑVa l e nt i n e ’s D a y

F LI P IT! Pick and choose icons and numbers to uncover

Too-Cute Cootie Catcher R EC O M M E N D E D AG E : 6 AND UP T I M E R EQ U I R E D : A PPROX . 1 0 M I N UTE S

Cut a sheet of letter-size colored paper into an 8x8-in. square. Fold in half horizontally; unfold. Next,

PA R E N T S

36 F E B R U A R Y

2021

fold vertically; unfold. Then fold diagonally in both directions, unfolding each time. Fold each corner of the square to the middle; press flat. Flip paper over and repeat. Fold the origami in half horizontally. You will see two square flaps on front and back. Insert your thumb and forefinger into a front and back flap on the same side. Repeat with other hand and

the two flaps on other side (use the folding template, available on page 38, or you can google how-to videos online). Gently push your hands together to open up the origami. Decorate outer flaps with stickers, paper cutouts, or drawings and the triangular inner flaps with numbered stickers. Open the inner flaps and write valentine notes, IOUs, or compliments on them.

PROP STYLING BY ELIZABETH MACLENNAN FOR PAT BATES & ASSOCIATES.

a special message.

K I D S ÑVa l e nt i n e ’s D a y

S LI D E IT ! Pull the tab to send the rocket to the heart-shaped planet.

Print the Templates Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code to download helpful cutouts or go to parents.com/ valentinesday.

Deep-Space Valentine R EC O M M E N D E D AG E : 6 AND UP T I M E R EQ U I R E D : A PPROX . 3 0 M I N UTE S

Hold a sheet of letter-size colored cardstock vertically and fold it in half, top to bottom. Trace and cut out a heart from cardstock in a different

PA R E N T S

38 F E B R U A R Y

2021

color using template (see above right to download). To make a ringed “heart” planet, trace and cut out ring template twice on cardstock in two more colors. Using a glue stick, layer the rings with the heart inside the rings. Glue planet to top right of card at an angle. Open card and lay flat. Cut a slit going from below heart to bottom left (stop before edge) using an X-Acto knife. (Have an

adult handle this step.) Build a rocket from cardstock shapes glued together: rectangle for body, triangle for nose, and diamonds for feet, or use template. Cut an 8x1/2-in. strip from cardstock. Fold the top down 1/2 in., then fold three more times to make four sides of a square. Glue first side of square to strip. Glue this square to back of rocket. Insert tab into slit. Add heart and star stickers; write a message.

LIFE’S FULL OF HIDDEN PROBLEMS, SO WE

HID A COMFORTING BROWNIE IN A SNICKERS.

K I D S Ñ F u n Fo o d

Sheet-Pan Nachos for the Win We’ve uncovered the secrets to the ultimate weekend-at-home recipe. This snack is smothered in deliciously gooey cheese — and believe it or not, cleanup will be a breeze.

TURN THE PA G E F O R H O W -T O S AND TIPS.

PA R E N T S

40 F E B R U A R Y

2021

FOOD STYLING BY RISHON HANNERS. PROP STYLING BY CHRISTINE KEELY.

recipe by J A S M I N E S M I T H / photographs by C A I T L I N B E N S E L

K I D S Ñ F u n Fo o d PA R T N E R PLUS TIP:

Let each family member top their own section of the nachos any way they like, with colorful vegetables, extra cheese, or both! Brought to you by Kraft Natural Cheese

Queso is a game changer. It stays creamy even at room temperature.

Build Your Best Nachos 1. Go all out with cheese. A warm queso sauce will ensure that all the chips are nicely coated. Sprinkling a little taco seasoning into the melted cheese amps up the flavor nicely. 2. Be picky about chips. Thick restaurant-style corn tortillas are sturdy enough to withstand the weight of toppings without getting soggy from queso. (If the chips look oily or slightly translucent, that’s a sign they’re too thin.) We like Santitas or Calidad brands. 3. Mix up the protein. When you combine the black beans with the ground beef, they won’t get the chips all gloppy—and the corn kernels lend a touch of sweetness to each bite that your kids will love. For a lighter option, ground turkey is an easy swap that can be prepared the same way. On busy nights, toss in some store-bought pulled pork or shredded rotisserie chicken.

Sheet-Pan Nachos Active time 30 minutes Total time 35 minutes Makes 6 servings

I N G R E DI E N T S 1 Tbs. unsalted butter 1 Tbs. all-purpose flour 11/3 cups whole milk 4 oz. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (about 1 cup) 1 1-oz. envelope mild taco seasoning mix (1/4 cup), divided 1 Tbs. canola oil 1 lb. ground beef (90% lean) 1 151/2-oz. can no-salt-added black

PA R E N T S

42 F E B R U A R Y

beans, drained and rinsed 1 cup frozen corn, thawed 2 Tbs. water 8 oz. restaurant-style corn tortilla chips Shredded lettuce, diced tomato, sour cream, diced avocado, chopped fresh cilantro, sliced jalapeños (optional) MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add flour; cook, whisking constantly, 1 minute. Slowly whisk in milk; bring to a boil over medium, whisking

2021

constantly. Remove from heat. Immediately stir in cheese and 1 Tbs. taco seasoning. Cover to keep warm. 2. Heat oil in a skillet over medium-high. Add beef; cook, stirring often to break up and crumble, until browned, about 5 minutes. Drain off excess fat. Add beans, corn, water, and remaining 3 Tbs. taco seasoning to skillet; cook over medium, stirring constantly, until cooked through, 2 minutes. 3. Arrange half the chips in an even layer on a large rimmed

baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Top with half the beef mixture; drizzle with half the cheese sauce (queso). Repeat layering with remaining chips, beef mixture, and queso. Bake until nachos are heated through, about 5 minutes. Add toppings, if using. (So little fingers don’t get burned, carefully lift parchment onto a tray before kids add toppings.) NUTRITION PER SERVING

559 calories; 29g protein; 28g fat (10g sat. fat); 48g carbs; 6g fiber; 4g sugar; 3mg iron; 279mg calcium; 613mg sodium

4. Add flavor without heat. To control the spiciness, make your own taco seasoning. Play around with proportions to find the right balance to satisfy your kid’s palate: Combine cumin, paprika, oregano, garlic powder, onion powder, and chili powder (not chile powder, which is hotter and made solely from dried chiles—one letter makes a big difference!). 5. Master the layers. Adding ingredients to the sheet pan in this order is crucial: chips, meat, queso—repeat! This step creates two levels of a perfectly even beefy-cheese distribution.

Cheese. Tacos. No dinner drama.

K I D SÑB a b y G e a r

The New Registry Essentials

It’s a tough time to test-drive strollers in a store or chat up fellow moms at work about baby carriers they love. Not to worry: We checked out the newest options, reviewed the classics, and polled hundreds of parents to find out which gear holds up for the long haul and is worthy of a spot in your home. by J E S S I C A H A R T S H O R N / photographs by M A R Í A

del

RÍO

BEST FOR BABY AWARDS 2021

Daily Life

This battery-free baby rocker gently bounces with your infant’s own movements and cradles their body perfectly. The BabyBjörn Bouncer Bliss entertains a sitting baby and lasts through toddlerhood, when a kid can sit and stand on their own. $250 seat, $60 toy bar; buybuybaby.com

D IAPE R PAI L

The Ubbi Diaper Pail is made of odor-locking steel. Parents love that they can use any 13-gallon trash bag inside and that the pail has a childproof lock. $80; amazon.com

PA R E N T S

44 F EBRUA RY

2021

PRODUCTS: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. RACCOON STUFFED ANIMAL, COURTESY OF POTTERY BARN KIDS.

B A B Y-T O -T O D D L E R S E AT

It’s easy to clean (and is it weird to say this changer looks pretty cool?).

BABY RESTING SPOT

Readers didn’t just vote for the Boppy Newborn Lounger; they wrote in love notes, like “It was a lifesaver, and I buy it for all my friends with infants.” This product is a nest-like island, plush but far firmer than a pillow, where your baby can relax during awake time so you can cook, answer a text, or just Downward Dog for a sec in their sight line so they don’t flip out. $33 to $40; boppy.com

C HAN G I N G PAD

OUR PROCESS

We release an annual survey to find out parents’ baby-gear preferences. This year’s questionnaire garnered 5,500 responses. Winning products led their category with a fifth or more of the votes, and we also gave awards to items frequently mentioned in our open-ended write-in questions. Finally, our editors rounded up our favorite up-and-coming products for the list of new finds.

Most mats require fabric covers that need frequent laundering. The Keekaroo Peanut Changing Pad, on the other hand, just wipes clean, and that convenience can be worth the extra money. The impermeable shell that protects the foam is still soft for your baby. $130; amazon.com

Zero people would return this present.

NOSE CLEARER

Gross but loved! This modern baby nasal aspirator, the Fridababy NoseFrida The Snotsucker, gets shout-outs from readers who seriously don’t know what they’d do without it and who tip off all their new-mom friends. After all, a baby cannot blow their own nose. $16; target.com

SHOWER GIFT

The number-one answer to “What do you give as a shower gift?” Diapers! For spectacular presentation, you can’t beat an Honest Co. Diaper Cake. Tucked inside the 70 size-1 diapers are trial amounts of shampoo–body wash, lotion, balm, wipes, and laundry detergent.$100; honest.com

K I D SÑB a b y G e a r

A sophisticated infant-transport system!

STROLLER AND C A R - S E AT C O M B O

Many readers prefer to start with an infant car seat, which lifts out of the car and secures onto a coordinating stroller for easy transitions. The winning twofer is the Chicco Corso Modular Travel System, which pairs the highly rated KeyFit 30 Zip infant rear-facing car seat with a well-designed stroller made to hold it. You’ll keep using the snazzy stroller long after your baby outgrows the companion car seat. $500; chiccousa.com

C O N V E R T I B L E C A R S E AT

BABY CARRIER

The Ergobaby Omni 360, beloved for its sturdiness and the way it comfortably adjusts to grown-ups of varying sizes, just debuted a timely version with antimicrobial fabric sold with a matching adult-size face mask. Notes one veteran parent, “I loved this with our first but especially needed it once we had two!” $179; amazon.com

PA R E N T S

46 F E B R U A R Y

2021

PREMIUM STROLLER

If you live in a city where your stroller gets more use than your car, then splurging on the UPPAbaby Cruz V2 makes sense. A new zip-out expandable canopy encourages naps, the giant basket holds your shopping, and the wide, comfy seat lifts up so you can turn it to face you or the sidewalk ahead. $650; uppababy.com

The Graco Extend2Fit goes from birth to big kid. But most important, its extension panel keeps your toddler comfortably rear-facing past their second birthday, an important safety feature that buys you peace of mind. $200; amazon.com

Newest Tech for Parents

Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code for our 2021 Best Family Tech of CES winners, announced January 15.

OPPOSITE: RUG, COURTESY OF POTTERY BARN KIDS.

Going Places

Sleep & Soothing

PA JAMAS

Pajamas are really all babies need to wear—ever!—and readers say a pair of Hanna Andersson pj’s are a perfect shower gift. Made of organic cotton, they come in a zillion cute patterns, and they wash so beautifully they can be passed down to every kid in the family. $42; hannaandersson.com BASSINET

The Snoo Smart Bassinet lives up to the hype. For the first six months, the baby bed detects fussing and then rocks and shushes to ease your baby back to sleep. “Bless the Snoo,” one reader writes. $129 per month to rent plus an $89.50 refurbishing fee and a $99 refundable deposit; $1,395 to buy; happiestbaby.com

PAC I F I E R

Not every baby takes to a paci, but readers who use one are loyal to the Philips Avent Soothie, the BPA-free pacifer given out in many hospitals. It’s made of a single piece of safe silicone and is a cinch to sterilize. Plus, it totally blisses out many infants. $9 for four; philips.com

SWADDLE

The Halo Sleepsack Swaddle slides on easily and has an inverted zipper for easy diaper changes. Adjust it three ways to fit your little one’s

K I D SÑB a b y G e a r

… C O NTIN U ED

sleep style: a swaddle with the baby’s arms in, hands to face, or both arms out and free. Newborns often sleep best bundled, but blankets in a crib are a safety hazard and swaddle blankets can be hard to fold when you’re sleepdeprived. $22; halosleep.com

NAP HEADQUARTERS

Graco invented the portable play yard more than 30 years ago. The latest iteration of its best-seller is the Graco Pack ’n Play Travel Dome Playard, which serves as a second crib, a travel bed, a backup changing station, and an all-around parent hero. Many readers say their favorite feature is the lift-out bassinet you can cart from room to room. $160; gracobaby.com

Feeding Time BOTTLE

The longtime bottle leader in our annual poll, Dr. Brown’s Natural Flow Options+ Anti-Colic Baby Bottle, with its signature vent down the middle, promises less air in your baby’s tummy so there’s less gas, spit-up, and burping. A soft silicone nipple helps your baby latch. $8 for an 8-ounce narrow bottle; drbrownsbaby.com

SOUND MACHINE

Doing your registry? Multiple parents say the Hatch Rest+ is the item they were most glad they put on their list. Think of it as an app-controlled sleep helper that delivers soothing sounds like white noise and lullabies, audio monitoring, a customizable night-light for late-night feedings, and a color-changing light that you’ll use in a few years to tell your kid when it’s time to wake for preschool. $90; hatch.co

PA R E N T S

48 F E B R U A R Y

2021

NURSING PILLOW

BREAST PUMP

HIGH CHAIR

When we asked, “What’s your favorite baby product of all time?” the Boppy nursing pillow racked up the most votes. It cradles your infant at the right height for feedings, saving your arms and back from strain (’cause even a 10-pound baby is heavy after an hour). Fun fact: A mom invented this to help babies learn to sit up, and it’s still useful for that too! $40; boppy.com

Pumping is no one’s favorite part of motherhood, but the quiet, lightweight Spectra S1 Plus Electric Breast Pump gets the job done comfortably and efficiently. After you dial in the speed and suction that works best for you, it remembers your current settings for your next session. $200; amazon.com

The new Graco EveryStep 7-in-1 is the next generation of the brand’s beloved Blossom seat. Yes, it can take seven forms all told, starting as an infant high chair, then becoming a toddler booster, and ending as a step stool for your school-age kid (with more iterations in between). Useful for their entire childhood! $200; buybuybaby.com

EDITORS’ PICKS

New Stuff We Tried and Loved These finds are still under the radar but deserve a place in your nursery. A h e lp h

ing

a nd

The Bökee helps you prepare a bottle or a sippy cup one-handed, safely pouring in stored breast milk without spilling. Nestle a bottle in the silicone cup and the Bökee grips it so you can fill and screw the cap on while holding your bambino. $20; thebokee.com 2

When toddlerhood dawns and you need a lightweight, get-out-the-door-already stroller, check out The Luxe Tour+ by Zoe. It’s small enough to fit in most airplane overheads (so it won’t hog your foyer either), but it’s far sturdier than a cheapie umbrella stroller. Buy a tandem add-on seat for $149 and

hook it right to the stroller to form an instant double! $239; zoebaby.com 3

Parent-invented and made in the U.S., Poppies teethers relieve your baby’s gum pain when they gnaw on the soft silicone textures. They also stick to and peel off most surfaces. Try one in the bath to entertain or on a high-chair tray to amuse an impatient diner. $10; poppiestoys.com 4

The sloth-themed Infantino Activity Gym and Ball Pit is ridiculously cute, and we love that it’s great fun through the toddler years. $60; walmart.com

-up Po p play sp ace

K I D S Ñ M a k e It

Color-Coated Coolness On Valentine’s weekend, give your lovebugs the job of dipping strawberries into a candy-tastic array of shades. This year’s Easter eggs will be pastel green with envy. by A N D R E A M AT H I S / photograph by C A I T L I N B E N S E L

YO U W I L L N E E D : • 1 11-oz. bag whitechocolate chips • 6 tsp. vegetable oil • Natural food coloring • 30 strawberries • Naturally colored sanding sugar and sprinkles

Line two baking sheets with aluminum foil or parchment paper. Microwave 1/3 cup white-chocolate chips with 1 tsp. vegetable oil in a small bowl on medium heat, stirring at 30-second intervals, until chocolate is melted, about 1 minute. Mix in food coloring to create one shade (see “Make a Rainbow,” below). Let kids dip 5 berries into chocolate and transfer to a prepared sheet.

Make a Rainbow We used Watkins Assorted Food Coloring, which is made from vegetable juices, spices, and other natural sources ($7 per set; target .com). Here are our formulas for acing each shade. B L U E 8 drops blue G R E E N 8 drops green O R A N G E 6 drops each

yellow and red P I N K 2 drops red P U R P L E 6 drops each red and blue Y E L L O W 5 drops yellow

PA R E N T S

50 F E B R U A R Y

2021

FOOD STYLING BY RISHON HANNERS. PROP STYLING BY CHRISTINE KEELY.

Decorate with sanding sugar or sprinkles if desired. Repeat process five times, creating a different shade of chocolate for each batch. Refrigerate 15 to 30 minutes to set; serve within 24 hours.

K I D S Ñ Pe t s

Animal House! Emma, 9, and her dog Rosie Perez, 11

E M M A I N T RODUC E S HER CUTE CANINE, W HO W E N T F R OM L OST T O L OV E D ON E: 1

“Ro Ro” was rescued on the streets of St. Maarten, in the Caribbean, after a storm. 2

photograph by

She loves walking on beaches, but napping is her favorite activity.

PRISCILL A GR AGG

“She’s an island girl, so she doesn’t love the winter.”

We bought her sweaters, pajamas, and a little dress. But, like, a casual dress. 4

I decorate her doggy condo for all the holidays.

Our other dog, Cooper Bradley, is named for a movie star too. 6

Her doggy treat helps her arthritis. But we don’t tell her that.

PA R E N T S

52 F E B R U A R Y

2021

WARDROBE STYLING BY JILL ROTHSTEIN FOR THE WALL GROUP. HAIRSTYLING BY CLELIA BERGONZOLI FOR UTOPIA. GROOMING BY THORA FOR WALTER SCHUPFER. PROP STYLING BY JOJO LI FOR HELLO ARTISTS. CHILD WRANGLING BY KAYSH SHINN. ON EMMA: DRESS, ROMEY LOVES LULU FROM LADIDA.COM. CURTAIN, QUIET TOWN.

TEND TO YO U R S E LF, B O DY AND SOUL

_ _ _ O N E M O T H E R ’ S M OV I N G S T O RY B R A N D I C A R L I L E O N PA R E N T I N G _ _ _ F E E L- G O O D N E C K S T R E T C H E S

SABINE VILLIARD/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

Beauty Hacks for Busy Days You were planning to shower, but the baby was hungry, and then Zoom school began ... No worries: Thanks to quick, no-waterneeded beauty refreshers, you can put yourself together in less time than it takes to brew coffee. by S H A N N O N M . B AU E R PA R E N T S

55 F E B R U A R Y

2021

YO U Ñ B e aut y

Refresh Without Water For some of us, our hair texture simply doesn’t need a daily shampoo. For others, our hair does need it, but superdemanding days don’t allow it. Happily, there’s an option to re-create a just-washed look for every texture. If you have greasy hair, dry shampoo will coat your roots to soak up excess oil and add oomph. Aim it at your roots from 6 inches away to prevent white splotches. If you have dry, curly hair, opt for a dry conditioner to add hydration, shine, and a nice scent. Parents staffers put 12 formulas to the test. And the winners are ... B EST FOR VOLUM E Garnier Fructis Texturizing Invisible Dry Shampoo ($6; drugstores) Dry shampoos use powders, such as the rice starch in this formula, to absorb grease and give strands a lift. Testers liked that this tropical-scented spray gave a wash-day freshness.

Hair Treat in Your Sleep

p ke u a W o n ge r to str

Joico Defy Damage Sleepover Overnight Nourishing Treatment ($25; ulta.com)

hair.

hydrates like a hair mask, except instead of dealing with a ten-minute wait time, you can apply this to dry hair before bed. Come morning, the formula, which contains proteins your hair needs to stay strong, will be totally absorbed—no need to rinse.

B E S T F O R O I LY C U R L S Pantene Cheat Day Dry Shampoo Foam ($7; drugstores) Curly-haired moms could fingercomb this whipped foam through roots without disrupting their curl pattern. Then they added a bit more to strands to tame frizz.

Tamp Down Frizz Whether your waves are messy, there’s a half-straight, half-curly situation, or you have a big ole ponytail dent, rub a pea-size amount of Color Wow One-Minute Transformation Styling Cream

($24; colorwowhair.com) through strands to even it all out. Let hair set on its own, brush through, or to really silkify, zap with a blow-dryer.

PA R E N T S

56 F E B R U A R Y

2021

BEST FOR E X T R A - G R E A SY R O O T S Living Proof Perfect hair Day Dry Shampoo ($25; sephora.com) This stuff is like the Magic Eraser of dry shampoos: Sweaty workout buns and hair past its wash-day prime didn’t stand a chance. The formula has a cleaning technology that sops up dirt, oil, and odor so hair becomes cleaner as you spray.

See y a ,

bed h

e ad .

B E S T F O R D RY C U R L S Drybar Detox Dry Conditioner ($23; thedrybar.com) Testers aimed this argan-oil and mango-butter formula at mid-lengths and ends to moisturize and soften coils —and infuse them with an addictive jasmine-vanilla scent.

WOMAN: LILIYA RODNIKOVA/STOCKSY. “REFRESH WITHOUT WATER”: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS. PRODUCTS: JEFFREY WESTBROOK.

BEST FOR DARK HAIR COLORS Dove Care Between Washes Go Active Dry Shampoo ($5; drugstores) The moisture-soaking powder is so fine that it stayed invisible, even when testers sprayed it directly at a black T-shirt. Their hair stayed degreased all day.

TODAY’S FORECAST: 100% CHANCE OF HYDRATED SKIN. Clinically proven to lock in hydration with Hyaluronic Acid. Skin so supple and hydrated, it bounces back.

YO U Ñ B e aut y

Face , ipe w s n, O pe ss i n o t d n a . the compost bin

“In between your a.m. tasks, speed through these skin-care steps,” says Y. Claire Chang, M.D., a dermatologist at Union Square Laser Dermatology, in New York City.

1 All cleansers remove oil and dead skin cells, says Alicia Barba, M.D., a dermatologist in Miami. But they can also offer extra benefits for your needs. The Neutrogena Skin Balancing cleansers ($11; drugstores) line has options: Choose the clay-based one if you’re oily, the milky wash if you’re dry, or the gel if you’re a combo.

2 Pollution, sunlight, and light from screens emit free radicals, unstable molecules that work their way into our skin and damage it. An antioxidant serum helps to neutralize them, Dr. Chang says. Try Biossance Squalane + Vitamin C Dark Spot Serum ($62; sephora.com) to hydrate and brighten in one go.

Body

G el is g reat

for combo skin.

Spot Clean Missing a shower here or there isn’t a bad thing, since long, hot showers can dry out your skin or worsen eczema, says Dr. Chang. In a pinch, a body wipe is a quick way to cleanse chest, underarms, and any other area that needs a refresh. Busy Co. Calm XL Body Wipes ($21 for 20; getbusy.com) are generously sized and biodegradable, with coconut oil to hydrate. “Make sure any wipe you try has soothing ingredients, like glycerin, aloe, and vitamin E, and avoids overly drying alcohol,” Dr. Chang says.

Swipe Right If you’re concerned about sweat, you’ll want an antiperspirant, like Degree MotionSense Antiperspirant

PA R E N T S

58 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Dry Spray ($5; drugstores, not shown) or Dove Advanced Care Antiperspirant ($6;

drugstores, not shown). These use aluminum to block sweat glands, which is considered to be safe and effective, Dr. Barba says. If you only want odor control, try a natural deodorant that relies on ingredients such as tapioca starch or baking soda to help you stay dry and smell fresh. A winter spent social distancing or on maternity leave can be a good time to make the switch from antiperspirant to deodorant, since some people experience a slightly smelly and extrawet few weeks, Dr. Barba says. Check out Native Coconut & Vanilla Deodorant ($13; nativecos.com), which has a natural, baking soda–based

Sin k s in

fa s t!

formula and comes in a plastic-free tube.

Add a Scent Boost The energizing or serene smell of your body wash might be what’s missing on mornings when you don’t get a shower. Take a moment to rub in the nourishing EOS Shea Better Body Lotion ($8; target.com), which comes in calming scents like vanilla cashmere or jasmine peach. It’s housed with a pump so you can apply it with one hand while holding your clingy baby with the other.

WOMAN: KATERINA KOUZMITCHEVA.

Even if you’re indoors all day, UV light can penetrate windows, so a moisturizer with SPF is a must. La Roche-Posay Toleriane Double Repair Moisturizer UV SPF 30 ($20; drugstores) has glycerin, ceramides, and niacinamide to moisturize.

REAL RESULTS. BACKED BY NATURE AND SCIENCE.

The prebiotic oat formula in Aveeno® Daily Moisturizing Lotion locks in moisture to improve skin health in just one day. For twice the nourishment, pair with Daily Moisturizing Wash.*

Use products only as directed. *Contains twice the nourishing oat.

6:55 am

10:43 am 1:15 pm 4:07 pm

5:41 pm

8:34 pm

10:12 pm

© 2021 MyLifeTM. Apple and the Apple logo are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries and regions. App Store is a service mark of Apple Inc. © 2018 Google LLC. All rights reserved. Google Play and the Google Play logo are trademarks of Google LLC.

6:15 am

Achy Anxious Relaxed Uneasy Distracted Relieved Connected Hopeful

OVER 20,000 5-STAR REVIEWS

Your emotions change. That’s why MyLife™ offers a personalized mindfulness solution, any time of day. It all starts with how you’re feeling, right now. You’ll enjoy a customized experience from over 400 relaxation activities, each one about 10 minutes or less. MyLife delivers exactly what you need — because it always starts with you.

SCAN WITH SMARTPHONE

START A FREE 7-DAY TRIAL. DOWNLOAD THE APP TODAY.

YO U ÑT h e H e a r t o f P a r e nt i n g

“This Baby Is Not Okay” I thought she was our easy kid. Then came the pediatrician’s worried expression. by R O B I N R O M M / illustration by A N N E B E N T L E Y

at 4 p.m., and by 4:20, I held her. Annie: 8 pounds, 2 ounces, with thick, dark hair and a calm gaze. She was our surprise gift, the second baby we assumed we couldn’t have. Everything about her had been easy— conception, pregnancy, birth. But as the days became weeks, she wouldn’t gain weight. “How many ounces are you feeding her?” asked the pediatrician. We were feeding her the ounces, but it took all day. She wouldn’t latch, had a hard M Y WAT E R B R O K E

PA R E N T S

62 F E B R U A R Y

2021

time sucking a bottle. My first baby, too, had lost weight, then rebounded, but this time the pediatrician seemed worried. Annie slept well. “Look how she sleeps,” we said. Her sister, Sylvie, had screamed when we put her down. Sylvie’s eyes were big, bright, burning—still are. She couldn’t get enough music, talking, dancing. “Life!” says Sylvie, now 3, queen of happy chaos. Annie wanted to lie on the sofa with her eyes closed. She just wanted air. Her

skin sank to her bones. Online, I found a post about babies who were “content to starve.” I woke Annie, forced milk into her. She looked up, eyes expressionless. After five weeks, we hired a nanny to help us with a new, backbreaking feeding protocol. She arrived in a sweatshirt and false eyelashes and fed the baby. On her third day, she came out of the bedroom and said, “This baby is not okay.” Annie couldn’t hold her head in any position. She flopped like a doll with too little stuffing. “You need to go to the hospital.” We went to the E.R. “What changed to bring you here?” the nurse asked. Annie lay on a blue medical cot. “Nothing,” I said. “I guess that’s the problem. She won’t eat. She’s too floppy.” The nurse betrayed no emotion. She lifted the baby’s arm, her leg. I thought she’d tell me to relax, that it was all fine. “She’s hypotonic,” she said, meaning she had almost no muscle tone. “Do you have things for a hospital stay?” “Overnight?” I asked. “Oh, longer than that,” said the nurse. I held my baby in that room, awaiting admission. I looked at the machines. We were cold. I asked for a blanket. The nurse brought us a pile. There would never be enough to cover us. There weren’t enough blankets in the world. Don, my husband, was at a conference. Somehow Sylvie got to the hospital. I don’t recall how. I remember the hospital room had a large window, but it overlooked a building. I remember water bottles and cups and syringes and the big medical-grade breast pump into which I leaked milk that they immediately stopped feeding Annie. Annie, despite all our efforts, was dangerously malnourished. She’d lost all her strength, and even, we’d soon learn, her ability to swallow. The pediatrician suspected a dairy intolerance, but the floppiness seemed severe, and no diagnostic tests existed for this. Doctors had to eliminate every other problem: metabolic and neurological conditions, many life-altering or fatal. She might be fine. She might be disabled. She might die. Those were the forks in the road. She wasn’t currently okay. I left my body. Where did I go? I was there in the room as they strung a tube into Annie’s nose and she gagged and screamed a scream

no mother should ever hear, pitiful and piglet-like. My whole body went to her, and yet I couldn’t go to her, so I left the room, crying. I called Don, who could do nothing. I was not in the hall anymore but with my mother years before as they strung her with tubes, when she was breathless and blotto with pain, set out on her big bed to die. I met my young self there, in the space outside my body. I was right where I had left myself, staring and shivering, calm and not at all calm, back in that horrific limbo that exists right outside us, that we all sort of know is there, that we do anything to avoid. I cried in the hall and I said I can’t take it, but there was nothing anyone could do. The nurses looked at me with compassion. They were so good at their jobs. The summer sun shone and shone. Parades of specialists lifted the baby’s slack limbs. A man walked down the hall with a cart filled with popcorn and lollipops. I wanted to defend the baby. She was born healthy, an easy pregnancy, easy birth. I had an amniocentesis with all the add-ons. We had looked for every rare problem. I birthed her at 43 years old, a normally conceived perfect baby after six years of trying to have Sylvie. Annie was a message from the universe about surprises that are wonderful rather than terrible—that was the sense that I’d made of her entrance. “Well, those prenatal tests do rule out some possibilities,” our pediatrician said. A doctor mentioned cystic fibrosis. “Didn’t we test for it?” I said. “You tested for the most common mutation,” the doctor said. “We have to decide if we should test for rarer forms.” They took blood for a panel that tested for 80 metabolic conditions. I sat on an upholstered hospital bench for days as the results filtered in. Negative. Negative. “This is good!” said the doctors. “So she’s going to be okay?” I asked, over and over again, like a broken toy. “I wish I could tell you that,” said the doctor. “But it would be irresponsible.” My father came. “Is it reasonable to hope that the baby might be okay?” he asked. “Yes, it’s reasonable,” the doctor said. Such unstoppable crying. But I felt in some secret part of myself that she would be okay. I shut the thought out, not wanting to jinx it. I had to stay vigilant.

While I spoke to the doctors, Sylvie scampered down the halls in a dirty blue dress. She loved the popcorn guy. She found a dinosaur to climb. She looked out the big windows at the summertime. Life! Life! She made faces at her sister. If Annie is okay, I told God, I will never complain about how hard this has been. I will bottle this up, shove it down, and every day acknowledge the beauty of Annie and Sylvie and my luck, which is balanced on a knife blade. As my mother died, I had offered God years of my life, digits of my hand, to no avail. This time, I made simpler arrangements: If Annie’s okay, I will appreciate that forever. As Annie ate the special formula by tube in the hospital, she began to gain

“SO SHE’S GOING T O B E O K AY ? ” I A S K E D, OVER AND OVER AGAIN, LIKE A BROKEN T OY.“ I W I S H I C O U L D T E L L Y O U T H AT,” SAID THE DOCTOR.

weight. The doctors smiled. “A good sign,” they said. After a week, they sent us home with a whirring machine, feeding bags, tubes, formula that smelled of bile. Annie grew but remained hypotonic. She had trouble lifting her head. Don sat on the rug, pulling her up by her arms, making her practice. Her tube would slip out and Don learned how to put it back in, measuring and shoving it down her throat as she tried to protest. Once, I thought she’d swallowed the entire tube and drove to the E.R., frantic. The doctor said he’d never had this happen—was I sure she hadn’t ripped it out? I suddenly felt very unsure. Don’s aunt checked the house for us and found the tube. It got caught on some clothing when I changed her. “Oh,” I said. “I think maybe I am not completely sane right now.”

I paid the $250 co-pay like a penance. Money, by the way. You can guess what money was up to. Out in the world, people would approach the stroller smiling, then see Annie’s tubes and back away. They’d wanted a glimpse of joy, of new life, and instead glimpsed a tragedy. It was cruel in an animal way. “Just say hello!” I would vent to Don. “What is so hard about it?” At endless appointments, the doctors still didn’t know what was wrong but wanted it to be malabsorption due to dairy proteins. Eventually, the baby bent her limbs like a regular baby. We cheered for Annie, said “Look!” to the doctor, as our baby did nothing but bend her leg. I went on a special diet, pumping and saving milk. Finally, I dared feed it to her via the tube. It was fine unless I ate out or there was a trace of dairy in my food, in which case Annie would be sick and I’d need to stop feeding her my milk. “It’s good she gets sick when you have dairy!” the doctor said. “It’s more data!” By five months, we took the feeding tube out. Annie sat up by seven months. She lifted toys, banged them together. She even laughed, a halting little barky noise. When she smiled, she squinted. A friend told me the story of her son’s birth. The woman next to her in recovery, separated by a partition, lost her baby during delivery. My friend held her own baby, listening to the wailing. “I felt like death had passed over me and landed just a few feet away,” she said. “And I knew that would be forever bound up in my feelings about my son.” It took longer to discover Annie, to figure out who she was. Now I tickle her and she shrieks with laughter. She wants to be held, hates exercise, loves to watch her sister run, jump, and “party up.” She can play with a toy for 20 minutes. She has a serious face that she turns on strangers. She waves her arms for Don, kicking and yelling with joy when he enters the room. When I enter the room, she grins and melts her body toward me. Yesterday, she was mad at me for putting her down, and in the midst of crying, I swear she said “Mama.” “Did you say ‘Mama’?” I said. The room was messy, will probably be so forever. I assume she will say it. The luxury of this—it will never be lost on me.

YO U Ñ C o v e r S t o r y

Mothers of

Invention Grammy Award–winning singer, songwriter, producer, and activist Brandi Carlile has led her life with candor and purpose. She came out publicly in 2002 and married her partner, Catherine, ten years later. More recently, the pair has welcomed daughters Evangeline, 6, and Elijah, 2. In an exclusive essay, Carlile opens up about this journey, and why she believes her voice can help change the wider conversation around parenthood for good. by B R A N D I C A R L I L E / photographs by V I C T O R I A KOV I O S

IT MIGHT NOT FEEL

radical to talk about LGBTQ+ parenting right now, but over the arc of history, gay domesticity is a radically new concept. We have no generational template. There’s some serious pioneering involved here. I wish there had been more for me to read or to absentmindedly absorb through TV sitcoms, movies and

PA R E N T S

64 F E B R U A R Y

2021

ads—things that could have prepared me for the strangeness of being wholly responsible for a child without much representation or mirror to show me what it would look like. Now I want to be a part of building some of that history for other LGBTQ+ parents. For my wife and me, every part of our emergence into the world of parenting

was intentional and always felt a little like walking out onto thin ice, blindfolded. To my immense relief and delight, Catherine and I found a total abundance of support from our friends and family around us who had kids. It felt like joining some kind of a club. It actually made me feel cooler. We did IVF with our first daughter,

Brandi Carlile, right, with Catherine, has won five Grammys, including 2018’s Best Americana Album for By the Way, I Forgive You. She is nominated in two categories for the 2021 awards, being held January 31.

Evangeline. We harvested my eggs and Cath carried our baby, and it was really complicated and beautiful. It was complicated because I didn’t know The way we approach who I was supposed to be in this parenting now feels equation. I knew I wasn’t “Dad,” but I instinctual, even natural. wasn’t pregnant either. Catherine was We divide tasks by what uncomfortable with all the things feels important to us in the that were happening to her body, and the whole concept felt so foreign to us. moment, not based This is because queer parenting lacks on society’s expectations of a manual—there’s no way to prepare moms and dads. same-sex parents for what a lifetime of exposure to only heteronormative parenting will do to your heart and mind while you’re contemplating and creating a new little life. All the breastfeeding and birthing classes are mom/dad-centered, so I wound up being called to the front of the class with the rest of the “dads” so that the “moms” could giggle while we put on diapers backward and struggled endlessly with BabyBjörn carriers. It can be hard on any mom who’s trying to wrap her head around not carrying her baby. But the queers must pave their own way. We found a really amazing LGBTQ+-sensitive instructor who came to our home and helped us navigate and identify our natural parental inclinations together, and that was hugely important. I strongly Carlile wrote her iconic motherhood recommend this for LGBTQ+ ballad “The Mother” parents embarking on this journey. when Evangeline There are so many mechanisms (pictured) was born. in place that make us feel inadequate—more than people really understand. We wondered what our firstborn Everything has been a lesson. would call us. What did we even want Evangeline was born to two mothers on to be called? Someone wise, an older Father’s Day, but she made it clear right lesbian who’d raised her kids and has away that she only needed us. The a whole bunch of grandkids at this point, rigidity around gender roles in parenting told me that no matter what your is indeed a construct. We know that now! children call you, even if they use the But it took time. I think when same-sex same name for you and your partner, parents are honest with ourselves, we you’ll know who they’re talking to worry deep down that we are depriving by their voice. This turned out to be 100 percent true. Our kids know our children of a gendered experience. We have to work too hard to overcome us .... like, really know us. We are it—that’s a little planted seed we can learning about ourselves through them. now uproot. When we do uproot it, we They’re the teachers. I’m Mama and even help heterosexual parents around Catherine is Mummy. The girls decided us to break out of gender boxes. I’ve seen that on their own, probably based on that happen with my straight friends. what we call our own mothers.

PA R E N T S

66 F E B R U A R Y

2021

When Elijah was born, we felt like pros! This time Catherine was reluctant to take IVF drugs, so we tried artificial insemination (IUI). Cath carried again. We were ready for the birth and we had our different but complementing baby skills nailed down and ready for the big arrival. I never felt a pang of the anxiety, guilt, or confusion that we wrestled with the first time. Eli was enormous. Almost 10 pounds! She was a dream baby. We call her “joy bomb” because she has just exploded joy into our world and she’s finally taught our serious little Evangeline how to belly laugh. The way we approach parenting now feels instinctual, even natural. We divide tasks by what feels important to us in the moment, not based on society’s expectations of moms and dads. Some days Catherine does school and preps meals. Some days it’s me. The parenting roles are really free in this situation. Catherine is just as likely to take the girls on a hike or to stack firewood as she is to gently press and lay out an Easter dress. I take pride in being a near-perfect laundry folder and gardener. I’m definitely in charge of splinter removal, and I take on discipline more than I thought I would. I was always such a cool auntie that I never expected to be such a strict mom. We are absolutely euphoric with gratitude for our kids and the support from all kinds of people we’ve encountered as we travel this partially paved road. This is my wish for LGBTQ+ families who are treading out on the ice: Keep on moving the world forward and being honest about your family and your experience. Be clear and vocal about the importance of cultural representation.

Carlile delves into her childhood, her touring life, and the experience of working with her idols such as Dolly Parton in Broken Horses, out April 6.

WARDROBE STYLING BY MARYAM MALAKPOUR. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY TIFFANY HANSEROTH. PROP STYLING BY KENDRA SMOOT. CHILD WRANGLING BY GRETCHEN BELL. PREVIOUS SPREAD, ON CATHERINE: SHIRT, FRAME. ON BRANDI: SHIRT AND SUIT, THEORY. THIS SPREAD, ON BRANDI: JACKET AND PULLOVER, ELDER STATESMAN. JEANS, CITIZENS OF HUMANITY. HAT, NICK FOQUET. BOOTS, FRYE. ON CATHERINE: SUIT, WILDFANG. TURTLENECK, CITIZENS OF HUMANITY. BOOTS, FRYE. ON EVANGELINE AND ELIJAH: BODEN KIDS. BOOK: COURTESY OF THE PUBLISHER.

YO U Ñ C o v e r S t o r y

The Carliles live in the rural Washington mountains where Brandi Carlile grew up.

YO U Ñ C o v e r S t o r y

Notes on This Musician’s Life

Best time of day to write songs: “Coffee time and in the shower.”

This tight team is good with togetherness.

Yes, she lives on a compound. Friends ribbed Carlile for having her bandmates snap up land around the log cabin she bought in Washington when she was just 21 years old. “Everybody teased, ‘Brandi’s forming a cult,’ ” Carlile says. “Next thing I knew, the people I work with were here. And we’ve married into each other’s families”—bandmate Phil is married to Carlile’s sister, Tiffany, and bandmate Josh is married to Catherine’s sister, Sarah—“so we have siblings, nieces, nephews.” They podded up—before podding was a thing. Phil and Tiffany and their two young kids live at the next house over; guitarist Tim, who’s Phil’s twin brother, and his wife and two kids, and cellist Josh and his wife, Sarah, and their new baby daughter, born in November, are all just an ATV ride away.

Music vibes in the house: “I want my kids to love Maggie Rogers, Harry Styles, Alicia Keys, Courtney Barnett, and Yola,” Carlile says. What music do they actually love? “Mine, John Denver’s, and the Frozen sound track.” What makes the girls laugh: “Being chased with the hose.” How the kids make Carlile laugh: “When they ask permission to do something basic, like drinking water or going to the bathroom.”

Favorite kids’ book to read: “Mommy, Mama, and Me, by Lesléa Newman.” Phrase she might overuse: “That’s not a jungle gym.”

Carlile’s been writing new music during lockdown.

She cheers on other musicians. “I think that the music industry, especially as it pertains to roots music, has been so hard on women and marginalized people,” Carlile says. “So I get so happy when I see other people cut through the noise like I was able to do.”

How their day starts: “Catherine opens all the curtains, gets the kids their morning milk,

Her big pandemic purchase: A 30-foot aluminum fishing boat. “I basically begged Catherine,” Carlile

68 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Fishing is now family time. “I love taking people out to fish. Now I spend all my time untangling others’ lines, to the point where I rarely get a pole in the water, but I’m just as glad to see somebody else catch a fish,” Carlile says. And she brags on Evangeline: “She fishes like a crazy woman. Then she twists heads off of spot prawns for us without gloves.”

Carlile misses touring. “When the pandemic hit, I was definitely in the midst of the big pendulum upswing of my career,” says Carlile, who had planned to spend 2020 headlining major venues after her recent Grammy wins. “That was supposed to be a big victory lap. But one thing I’ve realized is: Everyone’s on pause.”

They trade responsibilities. “You get so tired of your own cooking—so, say it’s Josh and Sarah’s night to cook. We can go to each other’s houses,” Carlile says. “We have a garden that we all can work in. We built a deck and put in an above-ground pool. We’ve done all kinds of projects together—anything to keep ourselves busy.” And as school went remote, “everyone helps the kids with learning. It’s a community-based effort.”

PA R E N T S

says. Over the summer, the family spent a week at a time living on the boat, squished into the 8½x10-foot cabin’s queen-size bed, floating around the San Juan Islands, up near the Canadian border. “We had a barbecue on our boat. We fished and hiked and paddled. The kids love it.”

How their day ends: “I’m in charge of the night routine, which includes shutting down the house, building a fire, and pushing the damper to make sure there’s heat in the morning when everyone wakes up.” Hope for 2021: “The end of COVID and the return of hugs.” —Kera Bolonik

Brandi Made Us a Playlist!

Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code or search for Parents magazine on Spotify to find Brandi Carlile’s favorite songs for families.

FAMILY: COURTESY OF BRANDI CARLILE. BRANDI PERFORMING: JIM BENNETT/CONTRIBUTOR/GETTY. BOOK: COURTESY OF THE PUBLISHER.

makes me a cup of coffee—Willie’s Remedy, medium roast—and does her morning routine.”

skip sunscreen on a cloudy day? no way. – Jennifer Garner

Even on the grayest day, the sun is up there shining. So wear sunscreen every day. It’s a simple sun-safe habit and one of the best things you can do for the health of your skin. Blue skies or clouds above, share your favorite under-the-sun moments #EverydayisaSUNday

with participation from

SO CAN YOU.

YO U ÑWo m e n ’s H e a lt h Ne w s

Soothe Your Sore Neck Between virtual meetings, family floor time, and general worries, your neck might be feeling not just stiff but stuck. Get loose with these tips from Megan Hill, a physical therapist at SWORD Health, a virtual physical-therapy provider based in New York City.

Tex t neck is real.

W H AT’ S TH AT W EIR D BU MP?

Skin tags and warts are familiar to many, but other (usually benign) protuberances crop up, says Sapna Palep, M.D., founder of Spring Street Dermatology, in New York City. Keep an eye out, and see a doctor for any growth you find concerning. C HE RRY AN G IO MAS

These spots are usually a few millimeters in size and may be bright red, dark red, or purplish. They can occur anywhere on the body and are also referred to as “cherry moles.” What to do: Usually nothing. They’re harmless and cause no discomfort. Get one checked out if it seems to grow rapidly or starts to bleed. PYO G E N I C G R AN U LO MAS

Fast growing, easily irritated, and often blood-filled growths, these are not as common as other skin concerns but can occur during pregnancy or be stimulated by certain medications. What to do: See a dermatologist. While these are typically benign, they need to be removed because they can bleed.

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP: NENSURIA/GETTY IMAGES; DRAGONIMAGES/GETTY IMAGES; COURTESY OF THE BRAND.

M O NTG O ME RY’S TU B E RC LE S

1. Start with a feel-good nod. Range-ofmotion exercises can help. Begin by sitting up straight with your head forward. Slowly move your head up to the ceiling and down to your chest. Turn your head slowly to the right, then to the left. Repeat ten times several times a day. 2. Add the stretch. Look over your right shoulder, then place the palm of your left hand on your left cheek and gently push your head. Hold for 15 to 20 seconds, then repeat on the other side. Next, bring your head down on the right with your ear close to your shoulder, then place the palm of your right hand on top of your head to gently pull it down farther. Hold up to 20 seconds to increase the stretch. Repeat on the other side. Do two or three holds on each side a few times a day.

Worth the Splurge

by S T E P H A N I E W O O D

3. Focus on your back. While standing or sitting, gently pinch your shoulder blades together as if you were trying to hold an orange between them. Hold for 10 to 20 seconds to strengthen your back muscles, which help support your neck. Or sit in a chair and cross your arms over your chest, then slowly rotate your upper body to the right and then to the left. Do five to ten reps of each exercise a few times a day. 4. Build in breathing. Stress makes us tense up. Box breathing can help. Sit in a comfortable chair with your hands in your lap, palms up. Slowly exhale through your nose for 4 seconds, emptying your lungs. Hold your breath for 4 seconds. Next, inhale slowly, feeling the air filling your lungs and traveling into your abdomen. Hold for another 4 seconds and repeat.

These bumps around the areolae grow bigger along with your breasts during pregnancy and breastfeeding. Don’t worry! They’re just doing their job of secreting oil to keep your areolae and nipples lubricated. What to do: Nothing, unless they become enlarged when you aren’t pregnant or nursing, as that could be a sign of breast cancer. D E R M AT O F I B R O M A S

These feel like small stones under the skin and usually grow on the arms or legs. Most are painless but may be itchy or tender. What to do: They tend to be benign and will flatten out. Don’t pick at or shave over them; that may make them bigger. Have them checked if they grow rapidly, get very large, or become irregular in shape or appearance.

R E L A X AT I O N O N YO U R W R I S T When FitBit released its newest tracker, FitBit Sense ($330), we were intrigued. It promises to manage stress, so we put it to the test. “I love that this forces me to stop and relax,” says our reviewer, Drea Dalzell, a mom of two in Sartell, Minnesota. How it works: You place your palm over the FitBit face and a special sensor detects stress-related changes in your sweat level. The FitBit app also monitors your heart rate, sleep, and activity. Whenever your stress levels are up, you receive mindfulness tools such as guided meditations or breathing exercises.

Don’t be alarmed by that little growth—but do take a closer look.

PA R E N T S

73 F E B R U A R Y

2021

The first trash bag worthy of a smile. Glad Beachside Breeze

fig. 1

Happiness

Certain trademarks used under license from the Procter & Gamble Company or its affiliates.

Time

The Happiest Trash Bag With bright colors and scents, plus dual-layer strength, it’s sure to put your trash in a better mood.

E N J OY THE JOURNEY TOGETHER

_ _VA L E N T I N E ’ S D AY F U N F O O D _ _ _ _ _ _ _ PET BONDING GAMES _ _ _ H O T S O U P F O R E V E RYO N E _ _ _ _

ROOM ENVY

Divide and Declutter Top designer Joy Cho shows us the pastel bedroom and the organized playroom she designed to be fanciful and functional. by A D R I E N N E FA R R photographs by B E T H A N Y N AU E R T

A SOFT SPOT The bedroom’s soothing palette helps set the tone for Cho’s daughters, Coco (left) and Ruby, to unwind each night. Both are in daisy pj’s inspired by Cho’s line of books with Scholastic. Pj’s, $34 per pair; cloverbabyand kids.com

PA R E N T S

75 F E B R U A R Y

2021

L I F EÑD é c o r

BEDROOM

Bunks Are the Best P R E V I O U S PAG E :

Last year, Joy Cho, the designer behind the Oh Joy! brand, moved her family from an apartment to a freestanding house in Los Angeles. Though they now had extra space, daughters Ruby, 9, and Coco, 6, were happy to share a bedroom, so Cho opted to turn the spare room into a playroom. “Their bedroom is chill for reading and relaxing,” Cho says, “while their play area is for all the hustle and bustle.” The result, a collaboration with Cleo Murnane, of Project M Plus, is an inspiration for any parent who wants to cut through the clutter and corral the toys.

TH E G IRL S SAY ... “The bed is so cozy!” Coco tells us. Adds Ruby: “We like to look out the window from the top bed.”

PA R E N T S

76 F E B R U A R Y

2021

This space-saving piece of furniture was a no-brainer, given how narrow the room is. Cho chose the Perch Bunk Bed ($1,590; oeufnyc.com), which can grow with her kids. “Each bed separates out,” she explains. “The top becomes a loft, and you can put a desk underneath. The lower one can be its own bed.” Beneath it all is a trundle ($398) that pulls out, ready for when sleepovers return. At the foot are shelving units that attach (Perch Shelf, $250; Perch Console, $290).

Choose Happy Colors Always looking to incorporate surprise elements, Cho turned the closet into a cheery focal point instead of blending with the wall. A contrasting color perks up each door—an easy trick anyone can pull off with paint. “The girls share the closet, so it’s divided right down the middle, with drawers and hanging space for each of them,” Cho says. The vintage rug, with atypical kid shades like rust, mustard, and black, also proves there’s no need to be matchy-matchy. But the biggest wow is on the ceiling: pink leopard-print wallpaper from Eleanor Bowmer. “Graphic wallpaper overhead makes the ceiling look higher,” Cho says. T H I S PAG E , T O P :

Sass Up the Shelves The sisters are able to keep the room neat because Mom made sure everything has a place. “The books are color-coded in rainbow order to help them know where to put them back,” Cho says. BOTTOM:

L I F EÑD é c o r

PLAYROOM

Deck It Out Cho loves faces and figural art, so this pot from Jungalow caught her eye. LE F T: The girls love to decorate their playroom with their own creations, like these photostrip collages that Ruby DIY’d with her iPad. Using a pretty binder clip to hang them up makes it a snap to swap in their latest artwork. T O P R I G H T:

Space to Create “My kids love crafting, so it made sense for their playroom to be primarily an art room,” Cho says of Ruby (in blue) and Coco. “They often come here in the morning after they wake up and entertain themselves while waiting for breakfast.” The playroom setup features two tables from Nico & Yeye ($394 each; nicoandyeye .com) joined together to form a large work surface that’s perfect for bigger projects. Cho invested in several sets of Acrylic BaCk Kids Chairs, also from Nico & Yeye ($299 for two), for crafting with friends when playdates make a comeback. T O P LE F T:

PA R E N T S

78 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Introduce Fun to Function Cho tacks up cute tools, finished projects, and baskets of books and pens to maximize space. “Pegboards are efficient and double as storage and display,” Cho says. Underneath, glass jars hold tiny doodads, and solid white IKEA Variera bins ($4.50 each; ikea.com) hide the chaos of other art and play supplies. O P P O S IT E PAG E :

C R E AT I O N S TAT I O N The playroom is set up so the kids can grab what they need—and easily clean up when they’re done.

Find More Joy Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code to follow designer Joy Cho on Instagram.

L I F E Ñ C e l e br a t e

Good Morning, Valentine! Give kids what they want this February 14 (all the hearts!) while treating yourself too. recipes by A N N A H E L M B A X T E R / photographs by C A I T L I N B E N S E L

BaconCheddar Mini Frittatas For recipe, see page 86.

Spell It Out L — 4 mini frittatas O — 1 kiwi slice V — 1 frozen waffle (cut into a heart using scissors) and pats of butter (carved into hearts) E — fresh raspberries

PA R E N T S

80 F E B R U A R Y

2021

You’re-My-Jam Muffins For recipe, see page 86.

L I F E Ñ C e l e br a t e

Sheet-Pan Chocolate Hotcakes For recipe, see page 86.

EASY CLEANUP

Simply line the pan with Reynolds Kitchens® Parchment Paper. BROUGHT TO YOU BY REYNOLDS KITCHENS® PA R E N T S

82 F E B R U A R Y

2021

GoodStuff m u s t- h av e s & m u s t- d o s f o r m o m & fa m i ly

Voıce SHARE YOUR

Parents invites you to join our reader panel. We want to know what you think!

100% Juice, 100% Happy! Parents, have your kids draw what makes them 100% happy! Your kid’s art could be featured on Juicy Juice packs! juicyjuice.com/happyartist

choose smarter chews with Greenies™ GREENIES™ are the mouthwowing treat that dogs can’t wait to sink their teeth into.

SEND

Irresistibly tasty. Incredibly

your thoughts and opinions

powerful. One treat a day

TEST

is all it takes for your dog to

new products for moms and kids

GET

free samples, coupons, and more

JOIN TODAY at parents.com/meredithvoices and enter for a chance to win $10,000*

experience the amazing effect

Check It Out! Parents and Parents Latina magazines help moms and dads navigate every aspect of parenthood from pregnancy through the school years. For special offers from our sponsors and a chance to win great prizes visit us at parentspromo.com

*NO PURCHASE OR SURVEY PARTICIPATION IS NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Subject to Official Rules at Meredith.com/ReaderSweepstakesRules. The $10,000 Reader Survey Sweepstakes begins at 12:00AM ET on October 1, 2020 and ends at 11:59PM ET on September 30, 2021. Open to legal residents of the United States and the District of Columbia, 21 years or older. Sweepstakes is offered by Meredith Corporation and may be promoted by any of its publications in various creative executions online and in print at any time during the sweepstakes. Limit one (1) entry per person and per email address, per survey. Void where prohibited. Sponsor: Meredith Corporation.

parentspromo.com

of cleaner teeth, fresher breath, and tail-wagging flavor. greenies.com

L I F E Ñ C e l e br a t e

Iced Breakfast Buns For recipe, see page 86.

PA R E N T S

84 F EBRUA RY

2021

. s a n a n a b

Re al al m

. ds on

Re al

wberries a r t s l a e R .

Who said doing something good for yourself had to be hard?

Do what’s

L I F E Ñ C e l e br a t e

MAKE IT

FRO M PAG E 8 0

Bacon-Cheddar Mini Frittatas Active Time 15 minutes Total Time 30 minutes Makes 12 frittatas

I N G R E DI E N T S 2 bacon slices 4 large eggs 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 1/4 tsp. black pepper 1.5 oz. extra-sharp cheddar cheese, grated (about 1/3 cup), divided MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Place a 12-cup silicone miniature-muffin tin on a large rimmed baking sheet. 2. Cook bacon in a large skillet over medium heat, turning occasionally, until crisp, 8 to 10 minutes. Transfer to a plate lined with paper towels to cool, about 5 minutes. Crumble into small pieces. 3. Whisk together eggs, salt, and pepper in a large bowl until combined. Stir in half the cheese. Divide bacon pieces evenly among the muffin cups, and spoon egg mixture over bacon, filling cups to the top. Top with remaining cheese. Bake until puffed and just golden, 15 to 18 minutes. NUTRITION PER SERVING (4 mini

frittatas) 234 calories; 14g protein; 19g fat (8g sat. fat); 1g carbs; 0 fiber; 0 sugar; 1mg iron; 140mg calcium; 464mg sodium

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a 12-cup standard-size muffin tin with paper baking cups. Whisk together flour, brown sugar, baking powder, and salt in a small, shallow bowl. Whisk together milk, eggs, melted butter, vanilla, and lemon zest in a separate larger bowl. Add flour mixture to milk mixture, folding with a rubber spatula until just combined (lumps are okay). Divide batter evenly among prepared muffin cups, filling each three-quarters full. 2. Sprinkle tops of muffins evenly with granulated sugar. Bake until muffins spring back when gently pressed, 25 to 30 minutes. Remove muffins from tin, and let cool on a wire rack, 30 minutes. 3. To decorate, use a serrated knife to slice off the top from each muffin, cutting just above the paper baking cup. Cut a heart shape from the center of each top using a 3/4- to 1-in. heartshaped cookie cutter. Return top to each muffin. Place raspberry fruit spread in a small resealable plastic bag, and snip 1 corner of bag to make a small hole. Pipe fruit spread into heart cutout in each muffin top. Serve mini heart cutouts alongside muffins. NUTRITION PER MUFFIN 211 calories;

4g protein; 9g fat (5g sat. fat); 28g carbs; 1g fiber; 11g sugar; 1mg iron; 84mg calcium; 145mg sodium FRO M PAG E 8 2

Sheet-Pan Chocolate Hotcakes Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 25 minutes Makes 8 servings

I N G R E DI E N T S Nonstick cooking spray

FRO M PAG E 81

1 cup all-purpose flour

You’re-My-Jam Muffins

3 Tbs. unsweetened cocoa

Active Time 20 minutes Total Time 1 hour 15 minutes Makes 12 muffins

1 tsp. baking powder 1/4 tsp. baking soda

I N G R E DI E N T S 2 cups all-purpose flour 1/3 cup packed light-brown sugar 2 tsp. baking powder 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 1 cup whole milk, at room temperature 2 large eggs, at room temperature 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly 2 tsp. pure vanilla extract

PA R E N T S

86 F E B R U A R Y

2 Tbs. granulated sugar

2021

1/4 tsp. kosher salt 1 large egg 1 cup buttermilk 1/4 cup miniature chocolate chips 1 Tbs. unsalted butter, melted 1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar Pure maple syrup and fresh berries (optional) MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Lightly

Last-Minute Love! Try one of these low-lift ideas to make any breakfast heart-licious. Top cereal, yogurt, or Nutella toast with heart sprinkles. ❤ Make an egg-in-the hole using a large heart-shaped cookie cutter. ❤ Carve fruit into hearts, serve them on bamboo skewers, and call them Cupid’s arrows. ❤ Stamp heart shapes out of store-bought biscuits, bake, then toss them in melted butter and cinnamon sugar.

coat a 9x13-in. rimmed baking sheet with cooking spray. Whisk together flour, cocoa, granulated sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. 2. Add egg and buttermilk, and whisk until just combined (some lumps are okay). Fold in chocolate chips and melted butter to combine. Spread batter evenly on prepared rimmed baking sheet. Bake until springy to touch, 12 to 15 minutes. Let cool completely. 3. Cut several hearts out of parchment paper. Place the heart cutouts on the cooled hotcake, and dust lightly with confectioners’ sugar. Carefully remove cutouts. Cut into squares and serve with maple syrup and fresh berries, if using. NUTRITION PER SERVING 156 calories;

4g protein; 5g fat (3g sat. fat); 25g carbs; 1g fiber; 11g sugar; 1mg iron; 80mg calcium; 203mg sodium FRO M PAG E 8 4

Iced Breakfast Buns Active Time 25 minutes Total Time 1 hour 20 minutes Makes 6 buns

I N G R E DI E N T S For the buns: 1 cup all-purpose flour, plus more 1 Tbs. granulated sugar 11/2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. kosher salt 3/4 cup plain 2% reduced-fat Greek yogurt 1 large egg, lightly beaten For the glaze: 1 cup confectioners’ sugar 4 to 6 tsp. water, plus more as needed Natural pink food-coloring powder (such as ColorKitchen) Heart-shaped sprinkles, for decorating MAKE IT

1. Prepare the buns: Whisk together flour, granulated sugar, baking powder, and salt in a medium bowl. Add Greek yogurt, and stir with a fork to combine into a shaggy dough. Transfer to a lightly floured surface, and gently knead into a smooth ball, 30 seconds to 1 minute. Return dough to bowl. Cover with foil and let rest 30 minutes, or cover and refrigerate 8 hours or overnight. 2. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a small rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper. 3. Divide dough into 6 pieces, and roll each piece into a 4-in.long submarine shape. Transfer to prepared baking sheet, and brush lightly with beaten egg. Bake until just golden, 25 to 30 minutes. Transfer to a wire rack to cool. 4. Prepare the glaze: Stir together confectioners’ sugar and 3 tsp. water in a small, shallow bowl to form a thick glaze. If needed, add more water, 1/2 tsp. at a time. Stir natural food-coloring powder (follow package instructions) and 1/2 tsp. water in a separate small bowl. Add 1 Tbs. white glaze to food-coloring mixture, and stir to blend into a dark-pink glaze. 5. To decorate: Place a wire rack on a large rimmed baking sheet. Working with 1 bun at a time, dip rounded side of bun into dark-pink glaze, and place on wire rack over baking sheet (to catch the drips). Add another 1 Tbs. white glaze to dark-pink glaze, and stir until blended into a lighter shade of pink. Repeat dipping procedure with another bun. Continue adding more white glaze, 1 Tbs. at a time, to make varying shades of pink, and repeat dipping procedure until all buns are iced. Top with sprinkles. NUTRITION PER BUN 195 calories; 6g protein; 2g fat (1g sat. fat); 39g carbs; 1g fiber; 23g sugar; 1mg iron; 108mg calcium; 224mg sodium

FOOD STYLING BY RISHON HANNERS. PROP STYLING BY AUDREY DAVIS. OPENING SPREAD, LEFT PAGE: RED-AND-WHITE BASKET, CLOSED MONDAYS.

1 Tbs. grated lemon zest (from 1 lemon) 1 Tbs. granulated sugar 1/4 cup seedless raspberry fruit spread

Peanut Butter Kiss Cocoa Combine 2 Tbsp. Torani Puremade Dark Chocolate Sauce, 1 Tbsp Torani Peanut Butter Syrup with 1 cup of hot milk.

Iced Turtle Latte Mix 1 Tbsp. Torani Puremade Dark Chocolate Sauce, 1 Tbsp. Torani Caramel Sauce, 2 shots chilled espresso with 1 cup milk in a glass ﬁlled with ice. Top with whipped cream, more sauce and toﬀee bits.

Naturally amazing Made with no artiﬁcial colors, ﬂavors or preservatives Available at your local grocer or Supercenter.

Discover easy Torani recipes at www.torani.com. *Awarded to brands that surpass quality standards established by independent professional chefs.

L I F EÑF u n

Try these boredom-busting games with your family’s dog or cat and everyone can get their ya-yas out, cooped-up kids included. by J E N N Y C O M I TA

INDOOR

get-togethers may still be on pause, but there’s an untapped playmate for your kid wagging its tail by the couch right now. “Pets can get kids off their screens and playing in a healthy, physical way,” says veterinarian Diarra Blue, D.V.M., a father of three in Cypress, Texas, whose own menagerie includes two dogs, a turtle, a bearded dragon lizard, and a whole bunch of fish. Playtime between species is generally best for kids ages 3 and up who have the maturity to know they should never pull a pet’s tail, and it goes best with a little supervision from you, at least at first. Grab some pet treats

PA R E N T S

88 F E B R U A R Y

2021

to smooth the way (it’s a lot like serving cookies to a friend to set the mood), and you’ll be ready to get the ball–or the jingly stuffed-mouse thingy—rolling!

DOG GAMES

Hide and go sniff The canine nose is up to 100 million times more sensitive than ours. This

game puts that superpower to work. Have your child put a treat into an open box on the floor while you hold the dog. The dog should see them do it and get energized. Once the bait is set, release the dog as your kid says, “Find it!” The pup will run and grab the goody. After a few rounds, try two boxes, hiding something yummy in only one while the dog is not looking. If Sparky sniffs out the correct container on the first try, he scores a bonus treat. Once the dog gets the object of the game, keep hiding treats when the dog is not looking, and increase the number of boxes, spreading them

MAAHOO STUDIO/STOCKSY. DOG ICON BY ANDRIWIDODO FROM THE NOUN PROJECT

Playdate With Your Pet

They look ferocious, but inside they’re just chicken raised with no antibiotics ever.

L I F EÑF u n

Catch me if you can “This is a great game for completely untrained kids and completely untrained dogs,” says Schuurmans of this four-legged take on tag. First, load your kid up with a handful of little treats. “You want something extra delicious, like bits of string cheese or hot dog,” says Schuurmans. Then have them run away and call the pet’s name. Daisy (or Buddy) will inevitably follow—the power of food!—and as soon as the dog comes close to the child, they should drop a treat on the ground, run in a different direction, and yell “Daisy!” again. Eventually, the game can evolve into a version of hide-and-seek, in which the parent holds the dog while your kid hides and then lets the pup go “seek” when it hears its name called. “This game makes the child, who doesn’t usually dole out feedings, relevant in the dog’s world,” Schuurmans says. “Like, ‘Where’s the kid going? What are they doing? I better follow them!’ It’s a great tool to help your dog learn to listen to the child’s voice rather than ignoring them.”

PA R E N T S

90 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Ice (cube) hockey Sometimes you don’t even need a treat or a squeaky toy to get a dog running. “Believe it or not, most dogs love ice,” says Sarah Hodgson, of Katonah, New York, who is a pet trainer, an author, and a mom of two kids, seven cats, four dogs, six rabbits, and a tortoise. One easy way to encourage kid-on-canine play, especially if you have only a couple of minutes, is to throw a few cubes on the kitchen floor, give your child a long-handled spoon or a spatula, and let them whack the frozen “pucks” around like Wayne Gretzky while the dog gives chase. Wary of puddles? Try it outside on a patio instead. Over, under, and through Training pups to traverse tunnels and jump hurdles is a highly competitive sport

known as dog agility—as you probably know if you’ve ever channel surfed through the various ESPN offshoots on a Saturday afternoon. While most of us aren’t ready to commit to the level of training required to go pro, teaching pups to do tricks, such as walking through a Hula-Hoop or crawling through a collapsible toddler tunnel (like the one gathering dust in your playroom), can be a great bonding experience and confidence builder for kids and canines alike. “You can set up a mini obstacle course in your house,” Schuurmans says. “Start by throwing a blanket over your coffee table and having your child lure the pet from one side to the other with a treat.” Who knows, maybe your family will even advance to getting your dog to take a leap through a hoop like they do on TV!

CAT GAMES

Fishing for feathers “Cats are natural hunters, but they don’t get to use those predation skills much when they’re inside the house,” says Alexandria, Virginia–based Katy Nelson, D.V.M., senior veterinarian at Chewy. “Triggering those instincts for a period of time can be good for a cat mentally and physically.” If predator plus kid sounds like a disastrous combination, never fear— that’s where a teaser pole comes in. Like a feline fishing rod with a feathery toy attached to the end, this clever contraption allows for plenty of distance between little hands and sharp teeth or claws. “Your kid holds up the pole while the cat jumps and twists around, using its paws to catch the feathers,” Dr. Nelson says. “It’s great fun for the kid because they get to watch the cat do all these acrobatics, and it’s good exercise and mental stimulation for the cat.” Win-win. Kitty kickers Cat owner Tracy Benjamin’s 12-year-old son, Cooper, is all about baseball. But he and his mom noticed that their three cats prefer soccer. “The cats love to kick things back and forth with us using their paws,” says Benjamin, a photographer in Marin County, California. Ping-Pong balls work well, but almost anything, even a wadded-up ball of paper, will work. “One of our kitties plays soccer with my LEGO heads,” Cooper says. “She’s obsessed with them.”

THIS PAGE: FOTOSTOK_PDV/GETTY. CAT ICON BY DARAYANI FROM THE NOUN PROJECT. OPPOSITE, KITTEN: MELANIE DEFAZIO/STOCKSY. PRODUCTS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.

throughout the house or even outside. “Eventually, just the appearance of the boxes will get the dog excited, and you can play so many variations,” says Chester, New Jersey– based dog trainer Justine Schuurmans, whose business, The Family Dog, specializes in helping young families live happily with their canines. “It’s especially good for scaredydogs because it teaches them to be adventurous,” she says, adding that it’s gotten her through many a rainy day stuck at home with her own kids and pups. “This game is a confidence builder.”

PAWSOME PET TOYS We found dynamic playthings to engage your fur babies and your human babies at the same time.

Laser tag When it comes to laser pointers, “certain cats love them, while others are like, no thanks,” Dr. Nelson says. In Benjamin’s case, two out of three cats love to chase a red dot. “It helps them get their zoomies out,” Benjamin says. While this is an ideal game for kids to try, it’s crucial, Dr. Nelson says, to respect an animal’s natural rhythms. “It’s a much shorter play session for cats than for dogs,” she says. “Dogs might fetch for as long as you’ll throw a ball. Cats want their space after 30 seconds or up to about five minutes.” Sock it to me Cats are always looking for new prey, says Hodgson. Reach into your collection of widowed socks and have your kid put a few rolled ones into a tube sock, add some loose

catnip, and tie a string at the end. Then let your child shake it around on the floor in front of their kitty or drag it by the string, and let the cat attack it. After a few rounds of pouncing on the sock, your hunter will be ready to chill.

Two-toy tango This, from Hodgson, involves a pair of stuffies and a bit of acting. First, give your cat a fuzzy mouse or a jingly ball. “Then give your child a second cat toy, identical if possible, and have the kid pretend to have so much fun with it, flicking it all over the floor,” Hodgson says. When the kitty ditches its stuffed mouse to try to get its paws on the other one, have your kid hand theirs off to the cat, pick up the abandoned toy, and pretend that toy is now the best doodad on the planet. Watch, laugh, repeat.

C A N I N E O LY M P I C S Your kids can coach their pooch to jump, go through a tunnel, and weave through the poles of the ZipZoom Beginner Dog Agility Training Obstacle Course from Outward Hound, giving themselves a workout in the process. $32 for the indoor version; amazon.com

SQUIRREL! Dogs are nutty for the Hide a Squirrel Squeaky Puzzle from Outward Hound. Your kiddo tucks the plush animals into the log, then throws it to Fido to root them out. The thrill of the hunt never gets old. $13 to $30 for the different sizes; chewy.com

W H AT A K I C K Kids who are too young to throw far can have fun using their feet to send sailing the Kick Fetch Ball from Chuckit! for their fur sibling to chase down. $26 for small; petco.com

M YS T E RY P R E Y Cats go bonkers for objects that move in unexpected ways. Yours will pursue Thin Colorful Springs from Ethical Pet, especially if your kid flicks one first. $4 for a bag of ten; chewy.com

DA N C I N G C AT When your child waves the wand of this Fabric Teaser Cat Toy from Frisco, the undulating ribbon will have your feline on its hind legs and swatting like some kind of modern dancer. $5; chewy.com

ROUND AND ROUND If your kid starts a ball rolling on the Tower of Tracks Cat Toy from Petstages, it’s hard for a kitty to resist smacking it back the other way. Get all three tracks going and a cat goes wild. $30; petco.com

L I F E—D i n n e r

MIX + MATC H

SOUP

With a few extra ingredients, four simple bases turn into more than a dozen hearty bowls of yum. Some even have veggies blended into the broth. recipes by S T E P H A N A B O T T O M photographs by D A N E TA S H I M A

PA R E N T S

92 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Start with the Chicken Base on page 98.

CHANGE IT UP

1. Chicken Noodle Bring chicken base to a boil in a large pot. Stir in 31⁄2 cups sliced carrots, 3 cups sliced celery, 6 oz. dried egg noodles, and 1⁄2 tsp. freshly ground black pepper. Boil 8 minutes. Stir in reserved chicken (from base recipe) and 2 Tbs. fresh dill. Boil 2 minutes more, or until noodles and vegetables are tender. 2. Chicken and Rice With Peas Add 3 cups cooked brown rice, 12 oz. jarred roasted red peppers (drained and cut), and one 13-oz. bag frozen peas to chicken base. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, 8 minutes. Stir in reserved chicken (from base recipe); simmer 2 minutes more.

3. Coconut Rice Noodle Combine half the chicken base (reserve the rest for another use), one 13.5-oz. can light coconut milk, and 1 tsp. reduced-sodium soy sauce in a large pot. Bring to a boil. Stir in 4 oz. dried pad thai– style rice noodles. Boil 5 minutes. Stir in reserved chicken (from base recipe), and simmer 2 minutes more. Add 3 cups fresh baby spinach, stir, then remove from heat. Serve with lime wedges. 4. BLT Cook 6 slices bacon in a large pot; crumble. Discard all but 1 Tbs. fat. Add 2 cups chopped leeks. Cook, stirring occasionally, 6 minutes. Add chicken base, 2 cups halved cherry tomatoes, and half the bacon. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 8 minutes. Stir in reserved chicken (from base recipe); simmer 2 minutes more. Top with remaining bacon.

L I F EÑD i n n e r

Start with the Butternut Squash Base on page 98.

C H A N G E IT U P 1. Apple, Cinnamon, and Squash Combine squash base, 1 large apple (peeled and coarsely shredded), and 3⁄4 tsp. ground cinnamon in a large pot. Cook over medium heat until hot, about 10 minutes. Top with additional apple slices.

3 2. Chunky Italian Squash Make the squash base as directed, reserving 3 cups cooked vegetables before processing. Combine base, reserved cooked vegetables, two 15-oz. cans cannellini beans (drained and rinsed), and 1 Tbs. fresh sage in a large pot. Cook over medium heat until very hot, about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, cook 6 thin slices prosciutto over medium heat until crisp in a large skillet. Coarsely crumble prosciutto. Stir half the prosciutto into the soup. Top soup with remaining prosciutto and additional sage. 3. Curried Squash Combine squash base, two 15-oz. cans chickpeas (drained and rinsed), 2 Tbs. curry powder, 1⁄2 tsp. ground ginger, and 1⁄2 tsp. ground cumin in a large pot. Bring to a boil. Just before serving, stir in 6 cups fresh baby spinach. Dollop each serving with plain Greek yogurt, optional.

PA R E N T S

94 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Start with the Beef Base on page 98.

CHANGE IT UP 1. Double Beef Add 3 cups chopped parsnips, 3 cups sliced carrots, and 1⁄4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper to the beef base. Cover and bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 10 minutes. Just before serving, stir in 1 lb. very thinly sliced cooked boneless beef sirloin and 1 Tbs. fresh tarragon. Simmer until beef is cooked through. 2. Minestrone Heat 1 Tbs. olive oil in a large pot over

medium-high heat. Add 21⁄2 cups chopped zucchini, 2 cups chopped carrots, 11⁄2 cups chopped celery, and 3 minced garlic cloves. Cook, stirring occasionally, until carrots and zucchini have browned a bit, about 10 minutes. Add beef base and bring to a boil. Stir in 8 oz. dry ditalini pasta and one 15-oz. can kidney beans (drained and rinsed). Reduce heat to medium and cook until carrots and pasta are tender, about 8 minutes.

3. French Onion Preheat broiler. Cut 4 oz. crusty baguette bread into 1-in. pieces and place on a baking sheet. Broil until golden and crisp, 2 to 3 minutes. Melt 2 Tbs. unsalted butter over medium-high heat in a large pot. Add 6 cups thinly sliced onions. Cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until onions are tender and golden, about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and add 1⁄4 cup dry red or white wine (or beef broth). Return to heat and stir to scrape up any

browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Add half the beef base (reserve the rest for another use), 1 tsp. fresh sage, and 1⁄4 tsp. ground black pepper. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. To serve, place ceramic bowls or ramekins on shallow baking pans. Fill them with soup and reserved croutons. Top each with 1 oz. sliced or shredded Gruyère cheese. Broil 4 to 5 inches from the heat until cheese is bubbly and melted.

L I F EÑD i n n e r

Start with the Tomato Base on page 98.

CHANGE IT UP 1. Pappa al Pomodoro Tear 3 to 4 oz. hearty bread with crust into 1-in. pieces. Combine tomato base and bread in a large pot. Cook and stir over medium heat until hot, about 5 minutes. Mix in 1 cup fresh basil leaves and crushed red pepper to taste. Top with extra basil. 2. Creamy Tomato Stir 3⁄4 cup sour cream into tomato base. Heat on medium just until hot (do not boil).

3. Tortilla Preheat oven to 350°F. Cut three 6-in. corn tortillas into strips. Bake half of strips for 8 to 10 minutes or until golden. Add 2 cups of soup base and remaining tortilla strips to a blender; cover and blend until smooth. Transfer to a large pot. Stir in remaining soup base, two 15-oz. cans reduced-sodium black beans (rinsed and drained), and 11⁄2 tsp. ground cumin. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 5 minutes. Stir in 6 sliced green onions. Top with baked tortilla strips and 1 avocado, sliced. 4. Spaghetti and Meatball Combine tomato base and 1 lb. cooked mini meatballs in a large pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, 15 minutes. Stir in 4 cups cooked broken pieces of whole-grain spaghetti. Top with shredded Parmesan cheese.

PA R E N T S

96 F E B R U A R Y

2021

L I F EÑD i n n e r

and carrot are starting to brown, about 5 minutes. Remove from heat and add 1⁄2 cup wine or beef broth. Return to heat. Cook and stir to scrape up any browned bits from bottom of pot. 2. Add beef broth, salt, and pepper and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, uncovered, about 20 minutes. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve and discard solids.

Pick the Best Food pros weigh in on their fave packaged broths for the base recipes.

Tomato Base

Chicken Base

4 2 1 3⁄4

Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 45 minutes Makes 11 cups

I N G R E DI E N T S 3 32-oz. cartons lowersodium chicken broth 2 lbs. chicken-breast halves with bone 1 carrot, cut into thirds 1 garlic clove, skin on 1 onion, skin on, quartered 3 dried bay leaves 3⁄4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper MAKE IT

1. Combine all ingredients in a large pot; bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, partially covered, about 20 minutes or until chicken reaches 170°F. 2. Remove chicken; let cool. When cool enough to handle, remove and discard skin and bones. Shred chicken. Strain broth through a fine-mesh sieve and discard solids. Store chicken and stock separately.

Active Time 15 minutes Total Time 45 minutes Makes 10 cups

I N G R E DI E N T S 6 cups lower-sodium vegetable broth 3 lbs. butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1⁄2- to 3⁄4-in. pieces 1 large onion, coarsely

98 F E B R U A R Y

MAKE IT

1. Combine all ingredients in a large pot. Cover and heat to boiling over medium-high heat. Reduce heat; simmer about 20 minutes or until squash is tender. Remove from heat and let cool slightly. 2. Using a food processor or an immersion blender, process until smooth.

Beef Base Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 45 minutes Makes 10 cups

I N G R E DI E N T S 2 Tbs. unsalted butter 1 large onion with skin, quartered 1 large carrot, cut into thirds 2 large garlic cloves, crushed 3 dried bay leaves 1⁄2 cup dry red wine or lower-sodium beef broth 3 32-oz. cartons lowersodium beef broth Kosher salt, to taste 1⁄4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper

Butternut Squash Base

PA R E N T S

chopped (1 cup) garlic cloves, peeled tsp. fresh thyme leaves tsp. kosher salt tsp. freshly ground black pepper

2021

MAKE IT

1. Melt butter in a large pot on medium-high. Add onion, carrot, garlic, and bay leaves. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion

I N G R E DI E N T S 2 28-oz. cans whole peeled tomatoes in puree 2 Tbs. olive oil 2 Tbs. unsalted butter 1 large onion, chopped 2 Tbs. chopped garlic cloves 1 Tbs. dried oregano 2 tsp. sweet paprika 1 tsp. ground mustard 2 cups lower-sodium chicken or vegetable broth 3⁄4 tsp. freshly ground black pepper Kosher salt, to taste MAKE IT

1. Place tomatoes in a bowl. Using kitchen scissors, cut into 1⁄2-in. pieces. 2. Heat oil and butter in a large pot over medium heat until butter is melted. Add onion. Cook and stir 8 minutes or until tender. Reduce heat to mediumlow. Add garlic, oregano, paprika, and ground mustard. Cook and stir for 3 minutes or until garlic is browned and spices are fragrant. 3. Stir in tomatoes (including juices), broth, pepper, and salt. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, partially covered, for 20 minutes. Cool slightly.

FYI You can store all soup bases in airtight containers in the fridge up to three days or in the freezer up to three months. Make them ahead, and dinner will be ready in less than 30 minutes. All soup recipes serve four to six.

CHICKEN BROTH “Imagine Free-Range Chicken Broth and Pacific Foods Organic are my go-tos. I use the regular versions in soups and the lower-sodium ones in place of water when cooking rice or couscous.” —Samina Kalloo, R.D.N., @mindfulmom.nutrition on Instagram

BEEF BROTH “I keep Better Than Bouillon Reduced Sodium in my pantry. I just mix it with water, and use for soups, stews, and risotto. I’m also a fan of Brodo’s Beef Bone Broth, which tastes homemade.” —Silvia Baldini, Chopped champion

V E G E TA B L E B R O T H “A versatile light-tasting option is 365 Whole Foods Market Organic. I prefer the low-sodium version so I can manage the type and amount of salt, but you do you. When I want a heartier flavor, I rely on Kitchen Basics Unsalted.” —Jackie Newgent, R.D.N., author of The With or Without Meat Cookbook

BROTHS: COURTESY OF THE BRANDS.

Active Time 20 minutes Total Time 45 minutes Makes 8 cups

ADVICE AS YOUR CHILD GROWS

PREGNANCY

HOW TO

Advocate for the Delivery You Want by E M I LY E LV E R U

Develop your birth plan.

First off, know that not every detail will go as you intended, but it’s still important to figure out what you do and don’t want during delivery. Things you considered standard, like having your partner or mom in the delivery room, may no longer be allowed due to COVID-19 restrictions, so you need to prepare for your hospital’s policies. Start planning as soon as you feel comfortable but no later than when you’re 20 to 30 weeks along. Work with your doctor, midwife, or doula to help you best develop your birth plan. Whenever you think of a question, add it to a note on your phone so it’s readily

Get More Age-Specific Tips Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code to subscribe to our daily newsletter.

PA R E N T S

100 F E B R U A R Y

2021

available to ask at your next appointment. Consider getting started with these: What’s the typical labor process? Under what circumstances would you use medication to speed up labor? Do you and the hospital policy allow for ambulation and birthing-ball use throughout the labor process? How often will my cervix be checked for dilation? Why would I need a cesarean section? Taking the time to plan and educate yourself about the birthing process can help you feel more prepared once you’re in the hospital. (Go to parents .com/birthplan for a full list of questions to consider before your delivery.) Express your preferences.

Discuss your wishes openly with your doctor or midwife throughout your second and third trimester so that you’re both on the same page. Your doctor or midwife will typically reserve additional time during your appointment in week 34 to review your birth plan, birth team, and any special wishes, fears, or questions you may have. Here, you can also ask how they’d prefer to be reminded about your plan come delivery day—are they documenting your preferences in your chart, or should you bring your list in writing? Either way, it doesn’t hurt to type it up since you may be cared for by multiple nurses throughout the labor process. If you’re having a hard time condensing your plan, try to determine what truly matters to you by writing down three things you absolutely want and three things you absolutely do not.

Speak up.

This is your body, your baby, and your experience. No procedure or intervention should be performed without a discussion of what it is, why it’s recommended or necessary, and the risks involved. You will have to give either verbal or written consent. If you’re delivering with a midwife or a doula, they can advocate for your preferences. If you have a question, ask it. And if you still don’t understand, ask again. Sometimes doctors and midwives forget that first-time moms don’t know what to expect, but they’re all there for you. If you feel that a nurse, a doctor, or a midwife isn’t acknowledging your preferences or questions and you’re delivering in a hospital setting, you can always speak with a patient advocate, the charge nurse, or the nurse manager. Find out if your hospital is “baby-friendly.”

This means that the hospital has a special accreditation for all staff in the labor and delivery unit to be trained in lactation, and formula will not be given without your consent unless there is an emergent need or it’s what you want. Most facilities have moved toward breastfeeding, skin-to-skin contact, and keeping your baby in the room after birth, but these are things you should inquire about prior to delivery if they are important to you. Above all, you should be empowered when you’re walking (or wheeling!) into the hospital on D-Day. Sources: Yamel Belen, R.N., a certified doula and owner of One Love Doula Services, in Tampa; Megan Gray, M.D., an ob-gyn at Orlando Health Physician Associates.

0 –12 M O N T H S HOW TO

Clean Baby Teeth by A D R I E N N E FA R R

Learn the stages of baby teeth.

The first set of teeth erupts when your baby is about 6 months old; they’re usually the middle two on the bottom gum. Around 8 months, the middle teeth on the top gum come in. Two teeth on each side of these show up at around 9 to 10 months. Then four teeth erupt every four months, until all 20 are present by age 3. As children differ, so do the way they grow; don’t be alarmed if your baby’s teeth don’t appear in this exact order. Master the cleaning process.

Even before baby teeth come in, you can use a soft cloth and water to cleanse your baby’s gums. Once teeth are visible, the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry (AAPD) recommends smearing a drop of fluoride toothpaste the size of a grain of rice on a soft-bristled toothbrush with a small head. Use this to clean your baby’s teeth twice a day, gradually

increasing to a pea-size amount of paste. Nighttime brushing is most important for avoiding cavities. To prevent your child from ingesting too much fluoride, which leads to a condition called fluorosis, wipe out any residue while brushing. When your baby’s teeth touch each other, it’s time to start flossing them. Plan for the first dental visit.

The AAPD recommends scheduling an appointment when the first tooth appears or no later than your child’s first birthday. Pediatric dentists can detect early tooth decay and give information on proper oral and facial development. Schedule appointments during the time of day when your child is most alert. Dentists are taking appropriate precautions during the pandemic, but postpone if you do not feel comfortable.. Notice when there’s a problem.

Tooth decay can occur as a result of constant exposure to natural sugar in breast milk or formula. The first signs are usually white spots on the gumline of the upper front teeth. Eventually, a cavity will form. If this happens, be sure to check with your child’s dentist right away to come up with a treatment plan. Source: Dionne J. Finlay, D.D.S., a dentist in New York City and a diplomate of the American Board of Pediatric Dentistry.

1–2 YEARS

HOW TO

SCHEDULE A N APPOINTMENT WHEN THE F I R S T TOOTH APPEARS

Recognize Physical Milestones by H E AT H E R G O W E N WA L S H

O R N O L AT E R THAN YO U R C H ILD’S F I R S T B I R T H D AY.

Know the value of squatting.

While walking is a big step, other toddler advances, such as squatting, are equally noteworthy. This milestone means your

child’s muscles are getting stronger and their coordination is improving. Don’t underestimate this subtle skill in which your toddler stops, stoops down to pick something up, and then resumes walking. It means that your child is steady on their feet, which requires considerable balance. It’s also a major move toward independence, since your child no longer needs you to grab toys for them. Toddlers tend to master the technique within three months of learning to walk, but there’s no need to teach it. Simple play should do the trick. Practice throwing.

Each time your child tosses a ball, an action that usually begins between 15 and 18 months, they’re testing balance and agility while simultaneously honing handeye coordination. Take note of which hand they use to throw the ball. Around this age, children start to show left- or right-handed dominance. To help your child master this skill, it’s best to think small. Play catch with beanbags, sensory balls (their nubby texture makes them easy to grasp), or a Wiffle ball. Take a dance break.

Bopping to the beat means your child has discovered a fun way to challenge their body and is learning to integrate a variety of movements into sequences. Typically, a toddler will start dancing between 15 and 20 months. Encourage your child to bust a move by playing their favorite tunes and introduce an egg shaker, a maraca, or a tambourine. Kids this age like to imitate what they see, so don’t be afraid to bust out your own moves with them and groove to the beat. Support walking backward.

This movement is surprisingly difficult for a toddler to master largely because doing so engages the glutes and the quadriceps (which normal walking doesn’t). Your toddler may figure out how to do it as early as 15 months, but don’t worry if it hasn’t happened by the time they turn 2. One fun way to encourage backward walking is by giving them a pull toy. It’s hard to walk and pull a dog on a string beside you correctly, so your child will likely have to turn around and pull it toward

A G E S + S TA G E S

their body. Pretty soon they’ll start walking backward naturally as the toy comes to them. Allow them to climb stairs.

This challenging activity engages a child’s large muscle groups, and it requires strength and balance to shift from one leg to the other. Most toddlers begin learning by bending forward and putting their hands on the step above them, eventually advancing to holding on to a railing (or your hand) at 18 to 22 months. Your child will need to scoot down the stairs on their bottom until they learn how to descend on two feet. Safety on the stairs is a high priority, so use gates at the top and bottom, and never let your child practice unsupervised. If the possibility of a tumble makes you nervous, try this safer alternative: Let them experiment on the stairs of a small slide at a toddler playground. Sources: Claire McCarthy, M.D., a pediatrician at Boston Children’s Hospital; Laura Prosser, Ph.D., a pediatric physical therapist at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia; Raymond Tervo, M.D., a developmental behavioral pediatrician at LIH Healthcare in Shanghai, China.

Again, be sure to say, “Thank you for being honest!” when your child fesses up. PREPARING YOUR CHILD TO TELL

THE TRUTH CAN PREVENT IMPULSIVE LIES.

GIVE YOUR KID A MOMENT TO THINK ABOUT THE I M P O R TA N C E OF HONESTY BEFORE RES PONDING TO YOUR QUESTION.

Around this age, kids begin to associate good behavior with your attitude toward them. By denying any wrongdoing, they think they’ll keep themselves out of trouble. Kids this age are also experimenting with their creative voices and what they imagine or wish to be true. While they’re also beginning to grasp that lying is bad, they may still lie because they don’t want to think of themselves as being bad.

3–4 YEARS

Encourage truth telling. HOW TO

Teach Kids About Honesty by TA R A L U S T B E R G

Know that lying is normal.

It’s common for preschoolers to tell fibs. Some research shows that the average 4-year-old lies every two hours! It’s usually not difficult to detect when your preschooler isn’t being truthful. They say they’ve just washed their hands but their hands are visibly still dirty, or they concoct an elaborate story about a monster making a mess in their room. Understand why they lie.

Most of the time, they’re doing it to avoid punishment or to make you happy.

PA R E N T S

102 F E B R U A R Y

2021

Preparing your child to tell the truth can prevent impulsive lies. Give your kid a moment to think about the importance of honesty before responding to your question. Say, “I am going to ask you a question, and I want you to think about it before giving me your answer and tell me the truth. Did you take a cookie? You won’t get in trouble, and I’ll be pleased if you tell me the truth.” Remember to praise them when they are honest. You don’t want to create a situation in which telling a lie is safer than telling the truth. Try reading Hippo Owns Up, by Sue Graves, which teaches kids to admit to their mistakes by being honest. Steer them in the right direction.

If your child lies, create some room for them to get back to the truth. You could ask, “Is this the whole truth, is it part of the truth, did you forget, or did you get confused?” This gives your child a face-saving chance to revise the story.

Model truthfulness.

Reinforce telling the truth, even when it’s not what you want to hear. If you want your child to tell the truth, avoid telling little white lies. You can even point out to your child times when you told the truth even though it was difficult. Kids learn more from what we do than from what we tell them to do, so we need to set a good example for them. Instilling these values regularly will make it become a habit for your child. They will grow to understand that in order for parents to take care of them and keep them safe, they need to be honest. Sources: Chad Brice, Ph.D., director of training, Cognitive and Behavioral Consultants, in New York City; Parents advisor Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., author of Kid Confidence; Victoria Talwar, Ph.D., coauthor of From Little White Lies to Filthy Liars.

5–6 YEARS

HOW TO

Increase Their Attention Span by L E S L I E H A R R I S O ’ H A N L O N

Recognize the need for closeness.

The best way to get your child to pay attention is to be physically near them when you’re giving directions. Don’t shout requests from the kitchen to the living room. Giving your child clear, concise instructions also helps. Stand in front of them, make eye contact, be at eye level or touch their shoulder, and say, “I need you to do this now.” If the request is ignored, you might ask your child, “What do you need to be doing right now?” When your child responds correctly, say, “Show me that you know what you need to do.” Break it down.

If your child thinks a task is too hard, they may zone out and stop paying attention. To help them tackle the

project at hand, deliver the instructions in small steps, which works better than giving long-winded explanations, guilt-tripping, or yelling. For example, instead of telling your child to clean their room, it might be better to say, “First, pick up all your blocks, and then I’ll come back and tell you what you need to do next.” Sometimes even illustrating a routine on paper and posting it on the wall can serve as a good visual reminder. Spice things up.

Because many children struggle to focus on tasks they don’t want to do—such as the structured, repetitive ones kids encounter when they enter school—you can help make a dull activity more fun by using a little creativity. Try asking your child to form the letter S using rocks, toy cars, or wooden blocks rather than writing with a pencil on paper. Kids can also practice drawing letters with chalk, shaping letters out of Play-Doh, or even tracing a letter’s form with paint on a big easel to make the experience more engaging. Get moving.

Exercise can help kids pay attention, and elementary-school children who take breaks from classwork to be active during the day can concentrate better on their assignments. Encourage your kid to use outdoor toys like balls and jump ropes. Play outdoor sports that they like, and set aside time each day for family activities, such as going on a walk, playing in the park, or taking a bike ride. Boost brainpower.

Your child’s attention span can be trained to become stronger. Suggest activities that require concentration, such as completing a puzzle or even assisting with preparing dinner. You can also help by taking time to point out some of the small and interesting details in your surroundings, which models awareness for your child. For example, during a walk, you can stop to notice a bird’s nest hidden in a tree or an animal track in the dirt, or talk about the shape and feel of the rocks you see at the playground. As your

child’s concentration increases with practice, their ability to be focused will increase as well. Sources: Mary Doty, a kindergarten teacher at Waimea Country School, on the Big Island of Hawaii; Neal Rojas, M.D., a developmental behavioral pediatrician at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital, in San Francisco.

7+ YEARS

HOW TO

Help Them Accept Mistakes by K A R E N C I C E R O

Put off the pep talk.

If your child missed a catch during a baseball game or forgot the words to a song during a Zoom performance, resist swooping in with “You gave it your best” or “We’ll practice more so it’ll go better next time.” First, let your child do the talking. Nothing you say in the moment will make it okay, so allow your child to get their feelings out. It will help them learn from the situation. If your child isn’t talking at all, give them a hug and nudge them a bit by asking them to tell you what they’re thinking. After they’re calm, tell them about a similar mistake you or one of their role models made to help them understand they’re not alone. Rethink compliments.

If you constantly praise your child’s performance (“You nailed that backflip!”) rather than effort (“I’m impressed by how much you’ve practiced for the gymnastics meet”), mistakes become harder for them to swallow. In a Stanford University study, hundreds of fifth-graders were given a test created for eighth-graders. One group had been previously praised for their effort, and the other group was told how intelligent they were. The kids who got kudos for their intelligence were upset about how tough the test was, while the group praised for their effort coped and performed better. They realized that what mattered was how hard they worked, not just the end result.

Take the fear out of failure.

Your child may think you won’t love them as much or be as proud if they mess up. Steer away from saying the game or recital doesn’t matter, which invalidates their passions. Instead, emphasize the message that you don’t expect perfection, and while it feels lousy to make a mistake, it’s part of life and it won’t affect how you feel about them. And if your kid says they don’t want to be in that activity anymore because of the goof, remind them of how much fun they’ve had doing it and that they should hold on to those memories, rather than dwell on one bad moment. Foster friendships.

Talk to your child about what to do if their friend is the one who’s freaking out about having kicked the soccer ball into the other team’s goal or forgotten the words to a poem they were supposed to recite in front of the class. “Sometimes kids huddle around the child who’s upset, and that makes it worse,” says Carolyn Ievers-Landis, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital, in Cleveland. Instead, let them know that it’s fine to just act normally, though they could also think of a small gesture that might make their friend happy. “They might say, ‘I’ll save you a seat at lunch’ or ‘See you on the bus later!’ ” Dr. Ievers-Landis suggests. “If a child knows their friend doesn’t see a mistake as a big deal, they’re more likely to give themselves a break too.” Sources: Carol Dweck, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at Stanford University; Marilyn PriceMitchell, Ph.D., a developmental psychologist in Bainbridge Island, Washington; Christopher Willard, Psy.D., a psychologist in Boston and author of Growing Up Mindful.

Send Us Your Kid Quotes! BEST OF GIGGLES PROMOTION, PAGE 104 NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO PARTICIPATE.

Send your funny story to kidquotes@ parents.com. Include your full mailing address, phone number, and your eligible child’s name and date of birth. Subject to Terms and Conditions at parents.com/gigglespromotion. Open to legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia, 21 years or older. One submission per person per email address per day. Void where prohibited. Sponsor: Meredith Corporation, 225 Liberty St., New York, NY 10281.

I asked my husband, “Out of all the Halloween candy we get, what would be the one thing you would throw out?” Without skipping a beat, our son responded, “The wrapper.”

Paul, 3

I told my son, “You’ve had enough time to finish lunch,” and then asked Alexa to set a timer for two minutes. When I left the room to change the laundry, I heard Paul call out, “Alexa! Stop the timer!” Stephanie Martin Maier Barnesville, MN

Toni North West Chester, PA

Lincoln, 4

While we were ordering food, I asked my son if he wanted a hamburger or a cheeseburger. He responded, “A cheeseburger. No ham.” Molly Jones Plymouth, MN

Lying next to my daughter, waiting for her to fall asleep, I heard our dog scratching to be let out. “Can I let him go potty?” I asked. “No,” she said. “Put one of my Pull-Ups on him.”

Got a Funny Kid Quote to Share?

Simply hover your phone’s camera over the smart code for a chance to be featured. Or email kidquotes@ parents.com. See the abbreviated terms on page 103.

PA R E N T S

104 F E B R U A R Y

Viara, 1

Nadya Hernandez Dalton, GA

2021

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ELISE GRAVEL. PARENTS (ISSN 1083-6373); February 2021, Vol. 96, No. 2, is published monthly by Meredith Corporation, 1716 Locust Street, Des Moines, IA 50309-3023. Periodicals postage paid at Des Moines, IA, and at additional mailing offices. Subscription prices, $15.98 per year in the U.S.; $27.00 (U.S. dollars) in Canada; $49.00 (U.S. dollars) overseas. POSTMASTER: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address corrections to Parents, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. In Canada: mailed under Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 40069223; Canadian BN 12348 2887 RT. © Meredith Corporation 2021. All rights reserved. Your bank may provide updates to the card information we have on file. You may opt out of this service at any time. Printed in the U.S.A.

Tyler, 6

NEW

OLAY

RENEWING

CLEANSING

BODY

WASH

WITH

RETINOL

SCAN TO BUY Hover phone camera over code. NO APP NEEDED

I m p r o v e s S k i n 3 x B e t t e r*

Tr y a l l o f O l a y ' s s k i n c a r e inspired body wash with ingredients like vitamin C, collagen, and hyaluronic acid.

Parents - February 2021

Articles inside

Editor’s Note

Giggles