Parents - July 2016 by Lawrence Ambrocio

healthy kids, happy families

10 WAYS TO RAISE A CAN-DO KID

HAPPINESS HACKS FOR MOMS

HERE COMES THE SUN! SOLAR-POWERED OUTDOOR CRAFTS

AVOID SUMMER’S TOP DANGER TAKE A ROAD TRIP! 4 MAPS FOR FAB FAMILY DRIVES

JULY 2016 PARENTS.COM

KIDS DON’T JUST GROW, THEY OUTGROW.

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contents KIDS 17 Screen Out Get outside already!

18 Health News The effects of fast food, Kevin Hart’s active family, toothpastes that simplify brushing, and more

28 More Than 600 Children Drown Every Year Keep yours safe this summer.

38 Downtime Finds Our latest favorite kids’ media picks

40 Bright Ideas Harness the power of sunshine to create these fun crafts.

46 10 Skills to Master Before Age 10 Set your child up for independence.

54 All-American Drives Road trips the whole family will love

64 Meat Me Halfway Four flexitarian recipes

72 Whodunnit? The Case of the Broken Sofa Try to solve this hilarious household mystery.

74 Baby Bloopers Quirky quotes from kids

in every issue mom to mom 8 parents to parents 11 parents last laugh 124

YOU 77 Spot On! Don’t be afraid to flaunt your freckles.

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3 PA R EN T S

uly. 78 Beauty News

AGE-BY-AGE GUIDE

A flawless self-tan, mani-pedi polish picks, and more

advice as your child grows Pregnancy & Baby 17 Screen Out 28 More Than 600 Children Drown Every Year 112 Creating a Birth Plan 114 Hello, Sunshine!

80 Be Happier: Think Like a Kid! Recapture some of that childlike spontaneity.

86 “You’re a Great Father, Man!” A dad asks why men are graded on a curve.

46 92 Solutions Kid-proof upholstery and more

95 Joy Rides Parents and Edmunds.com team up to recommend the 10 best family cars of 2016. 104 5 Easy Meals Your weekday-dinner planner

40 28

HOME

ON THE COVER

91 Sleep on It Sweeten a pillowcase with this cute craft how-to.

Rachell and Zara, 4 years. Photograph by Priscilla Gragg. Wardrobe styling by Lisa Moir. Hair and makeup by Tricia Turner. Studio teaching by Elise Ganz. On Rachell: Dress, J. Crew. On Zara: Swimsuit, Bobo Choses. Sunglasses, Crewcuts. Sandals, Zara kids.

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Toddler 17 Screen Out 18 Kids’ Best Friend 18 Another Reason to Go Slow 25 Smiling About Smart Snacks 26 Turtle Trouble 28 More Than 600 Children Drown Every Year 116 Escape Artists Preschooler 17 Screen Out 18 Kids’ Best Friend 18 Another Reason to Go Slow 24 Good News About Video Games 25 Smiling About Smart Snacks 26 Turtle Trouble 28 More Than 600 Children Drown Every Year 46 10 Skills to Master Before Age 10 118 Gender Benders School-Age 17 Screen Out 18 Kids’ Best Friend 18 Another Reason to Go Slow 24 Good News About Video Games 25 Smiling About Smart Snacks 26 Turtle Trouble 28 More Than 600 Children Drown Every Year 46 10 Skills to Master Before Age 10 119 Power Struggles Big Kid 17 Screen Out 18 Kids’ Best Friend 18 Another Reason to Go Slow 24 Good News About Video Games 25 Smiling About Smart Snacks 26 Turtle Trouble 28 More Than 600 Children Drown Every Year 46 10 Skills to Master Before Age 10 120 Social Smarts

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YUNHEE KIM. PROP STYLING BY PAIGE HICKS.

Senior Vice Presidents

mom to mom

lifeguard duty MY TWO BOYS, at ages 12 and 14, are now old enough to gently poke fun at me for my devotion to family safety: We may not be consistently healthy eaters or rabid exercisers, but we are helmet- and seat-beltwearers without fail. I do think the guys have a touch of pride, though, that I serve on the board of Safe Kids Worldwide, a nonprofit that focuses on reducing the risk of preventable injuries in children around the globe. In the U.S., especially for children ages 1 to 4, one of the biggest targets of Safe Kids’ efforts is preventing drowning. Reading the story about water safety on page 28, I am still haunted by my own brush with this tragedy. It was years ago now, a lovely summer afternoon at a party filled with young families gathered at a pretty in-ground pool. My kids weren’t in the water, but when I see any kids in a pool I can’t help but nervously pay attention. As I scanned the scene I saw a toddler who moments before had been happily sitting on the top step playing under the watchful eyes of a parent. Now the child was facedown in the water, unable to lift his head or regain his footing. The parents were right there,

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standing by the edge of the pool—he was essentially at their feet—but whoever was watching him had been momentarily distracted. I yelled frantically from across the pool and a grown-up bent down and picked him up. Waves and nervous smiles all around and the moment was over in a flash. But I’ve never forgotten it. This summer, thanks to the reminder in our story, I’m scheduling my boys for some basic lifesaving lessons and will need to take a refresher CPR course myself. The guys might make fun of me, but I don’t care. As the old saying goes, “like water off a duck’s back.”

Dana Points dana@parents.com

Leo and Eli never balked at wearing safety gear. It’s been part of our life from Day 1.

how about some sunny fun? This month’s story “Bright Ideas˝ on page 40 helps you and the kids harness the power of the sun to try crafts you can only create at this time of the year. Round out your day with a snack and some tunes! Make your own raisins. Boil a bunch of whole, seedless grapes for 30 seconds. Remove with a slotted spoon and immediately put grapes in a bowl of ice water. Place on a rimmed baking sheet. Cover with a breathable cloth and let dry in a sunny spot for three to five days. Create a sunny playlist. Start it off with “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles and “Walking on Sunshine” by Katrina and The Waves. DIY a sundial. Push a straw through the middle of an upside-down paper plate. When you take it outside at noon, the straw’s shadow will be in the middle of the plate. Secure it in some loose soil, and mark the hours as the day progresses.

DANA POINTS: GRACE HUANG. WARDROBE STYLING BY LAURA PRITCHARD. MAKEUP BY ASHLEIGH CIUCCI FOR RAY BROWN REPRESENTS. HAIR STYLING BY DAVID LOPEZ FOR ARTISTS BY NEXT. SET STYLING BY CARLA GONZALEZ-HART. ON DANA: JACKET, ALL SAINTS. SHIRT, J. CREW. NECKLACE, T. KAHRES. FAMILY PHOTO: COURTESY OF DANA POINTS.

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A Sweet Piece of Fun.

seen, heard, shared

parents➋parents P UL SE

➜ Instagram Filters We Wish Existed Every moment of our kids’ summer break won’t be post-worthy. But wouldn’t it be nice to be #blessed with some mom-approved filters to add that glow of faux perfection to our feeds?

“After we get this shot, you’re coming right down, Superman.”

Chardonnay Removes the overwhelmed look from your face after spending a day wrangling the kids and replaces it with your best laid-back, laughing, happiest-mom-in-the-world face.

Fleeky Covers up your roots, gives you a spray tan, tweezes your eyebrows, and shaves your legs.

Bon Voyage You may be at the crowded local splash pad or playing in the sprinklers in your backyard, but this filter replaces your surroundings with picturesque scenes from faraway tropical locales.

Zinc

PASCAL CHEVALLIER/THELICENSINGPROJECT.COM.

Hides the fact that you forgot to reapply sunscreen on your kids while they played at the beach and turns their pink cheeks into a dermatologist-approved shade of never-seen-the-sun-in-my-life.

Instant Maid Removes dirty dishes, piles of laundry, and clutter from your home when you want to show the joy of summer fun together-time with the kids but don’t want anyone to know that having fun means your house is now a shambles. #NoRegrets

WE CAN R E L AT E

“Every time you yell ‘because I said so, that’s why’ the waist on your mom jeans moves up an inch.” — Momma of Midgard, @MidgardMomma on Twitter

—Sabrina James IT’S COME TO THIS While pushing his 11-month-old daughter in a stroller, a Texas dad placed first in a half marathon,

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➜

11 P A R E N T S

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parents to parents

MOM M UST-READ by Kristen Kemp book-club inspiration

S I T T E R-WO R T H Y

Ghostbusters Not yet rated, July 15 While the story line is entirely new, fans of the first Ghostbusters will catch glimpses of the original plot points. In this one, the men may not be saving the city, but they are making it good-looking: Chris Hemsworth plays the ghoul-catchers’ eye-candy secretary and Andy Garcia is cast as the NYC mayor. WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT This much-anticipated reboot—by Bridesmaids director Paul Feig—passes the supernatural torch to some of the funniest ladies in Hollywood right now, including Leslie Jones, Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, and Kate McKinnon (all above).

Most of us would be shocked if the DEA and IRS arrived at our door to arrest our parents when we were 9 months pregnant. But when Victoria Fedden, 36, texted her sister, “Mom got arrested this morning,” her sister simply replied, “Again?” Her parents had been in the slammer before for several different things, but this time it was for conspiracy to commit wire fraud— and she didn’t even know what that meant. In Fedden’s hilarious new memoir, This Is Not My Beautiful Life, we get a clear picture of what it’s like to grow up in a dysfunctional family living on the edge of the law. It would all make for a really great TV sitcom ... if it weren’t real. The story is relatable in many ways but completely out there in others; this quirky memoir is definitely one to add to your reading list.

GOOD TO K N OW No one enjoys chasing down payments from an ex. The SupportPay payment platform allows separated parents and blended families to collaborate on child expenses and child support—helping coparents chip away at the conflict and miscommunication that may otherwise get in the way of smooth finances. It lets both parents see where money for the kids is being spent and makes adding or subtracting variable expenses a snap. A basic account is free; a premium account is $10 a month; supportpay.com.

20% of married people would rather be sick than deal with a sick spouse. —Advil survey

Honey, I’m siiiick.

breaking the Guinness World Record. | An Instagram photo showed a Spanish matador holding his 5-month-old daughter

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➜

KRISTEN KEMP: COURTESY OF JOHANN SVENSON. GHOSTBUSTERS: COURTESY OF SONY PICTURES. BEAR: ISTOCKPHOTO.

WHAT YOU’LL LOVE

UNIQUE AS WE ARE

Stylish essentials for every adventure you take this summer. Discover Honeysuckle Pink Leather Bracelet at PANDORA.net

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parents to parents we’re going live in 5 ...

WHO ASK ED YO U? ( WE DI D!)

➜ Would you film your baby’s birth and share it

88% no

yes 12%

“If I posted my last one, birth rates would plummet!” —Amanda Richardson-Kent

“I did! Last time I checked it had 35K views on YouTube.” —Sana Graham

“Personally no, but now that my kids are 8, 6, and 4 and we are done I kinda wish I had a video so I could watch it myself.” —Terri Reed

“My husband ‘accidentally’ filmed our cesarean. I totally shared it.” —Rebecca Danielle Campbell

GET IN TOUCH! Send your comments and photos to writeus@parents .com. Include your daytime phone number, city, and state or province. You can also post on facebook.com/parentsmagazine. Submission of your material constitutes permission for Meredith Corporation to allow its use in all media. Subscription help: Visit us at parents.com/myaccount, e-mail pmmcustserv@ cdsfulfillment.com, or call 800-727-3682.

LO L !

We almost wouldn’t believe these new book titles if they weren’t right before our eyes, eliciting out-loud laughs. For your consideration: Can I Sit on Your Lap While You’re Pooping?, a collection of hilarious quotes one single father’s young daughter has said over three years (i.e., “I forgot how to go to sleep”); Nobody Likes a C*ckblock — a children’s book for parents who aren’t getting any, thanks to their kids; and Kids Are Turds, aptly subtitled “Brutally honest humor for the pooped-out parent.” We think they are $@#*ing awesome.

while bullfighting. | A University of Michigan study found that husbands create an extra seven hours of housework a week.

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LABOR: KIDSTOCK/GETTY IMAGES. BOOKS, TOP AND BOTTOM: PETER ARDITO.

online? There was plenty of buzz when a woman in the UK named Gemma Vaughan uploaded a 39-minute video of her birth experience — which captured the entire graphic process from epidural to umbilical cord— on YouTube and caught the attention of moms around the world. In fact, search for videos of actual childbirth and you’ll find thousands of others like it. How you responded to our Parents.com poll:

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DEAN BELCHER/GALLERY STOCK.

K E E P T H E M H E A LT H Y A N D H A P P Y

screen out

In a recent survey by the YMCA, 64 percent of parents said that during the summer their kids spend three or more hours a day online, watching television, or playing video games. While the weather’s nice, kick those kids outside! Then they can unplug and really chill out — ice pops mandatory.

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health news

68%

The percentage of parents who feel camping helps their children to enjoy learning in the classroom, a U.K. survey found

➜ Kids’ Best Friend They may look like any normal family pet, but a service dog can be a lifesaver for a child with diabetes. “Low blood sugar smells acidic and high blood sugar smells sweet and fruity. Our dogs are trained to identify those scents,” explains Nicole Parayno, a trainer for Diabetic Alert Dogs of America. Used with children as young as 18 months, the pup follows a diabetic child throughout the day and sleeps close by at night, when sugar fluctuations are often more

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difficult to manage. When the dog smells a blood-sugar change, he reports it to the child (or caregiver, depending on how old the child is) by sitting and pawing repeatedly. That’s not the only way service dogs are helping children these days. They’re also trained to assist kids with conditions such as seizures, hearing loss, and fetal alcohol syndrome. They can open doors and retrieve items for children in wheelchairs as well.

Eating a lot of fast food may be detrimental to a child’s brain, a recent study found. Kids who ate fast food four or more times a week when they were in the fifth grade scored lower on math, reading, and science tests in eighth grade than kids who hadn’t eaten fast food as frequently. “Many items at fast-food restaurants don’t provide the nutrients that promote learning processes needed to be successful at school,” says lead researcher Kelly Purtell, Ph.D., assistant professor at The Ohio State University. “Also, highfat and high-sugar meals have been shown to reduce memory and attention.”

—Amy Palanjian

by SUNNY SEA GOLD

CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: LUCA ZORDAN/GALLERY STOCK; JESSICA DOWNEY/OFFSET; FOTOGRAFIA INC/GETTY IMAGES.

Another Reason to Go Slow

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1 in 5 children faces hunger. There’s more than enough food in America for every child who struggles with hunger. Help get kids the food they need by supporting Feeding America, the nationwide network of food banks. Together, we can solve hunger™. Join us at FeedingAmerica.org

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kids

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health news

P You’re known for dishing out some friendly ribbing when it comes to sports. Do you talk like that even when you’re competing against your kids? KH Of course! At the end of the day, it’s my job to talk trash. I’m preparing my kids so they know how to deal with it and it won’t make them lose their focus. But when I do it, it’s always done in a motivating way, like “I bet you I can do this and you can’t,” or “I bet you I can run to that mark faster than you can.”

➜ Healthy Harts

Comedian Kevin Hart—who voices Snowball, the militant bunny in this month’s family film The Secret Life of Pets —is serious about keeping his family active. PARENTS You’ve invited fans in cities you’ve toured to do a 5K run. How did that come about? KEVIN HART Physical fitness not only moves your body but also works out your mind. I love encouraging, motivating, and inspiring others to come move with me. From my 5K runs to circuit-training events, this has grown into a global movement.

P What are your favorite activities to do as a family? KH I’m big into basketball, but my kids love soccer, so I get out there and play with them.

P Have you gotten your kids (Heaven, 11, and Hendrix, 8) running with you? KH Yes. I believe in leading by example. Kids naturally want to do what their parents are doing, so they

P Who is better on the field? KH I’m Dad, so even if I wasn’t better at it than they are, I wouldn’t let them know that! But they’re growing rapidly. They’re very driven and they push themselves when we play.

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work out and run with me. My kids push themselves to try to do what I do and to be as good (and maybe one day better) than Dad.

P Have you always had such a healthy lifestyle or did you have a turning point yourself? KH I made a change. Being an actor and a comedian, I put a large demand on my body, and I realized I needed to start taking care of myself. So I mentally prepared to make a change to be the best version of me I could be, and that’s a healthy me. I hope I am able to motivate others to do the same thing. —Patty Adams Martinez

3 in 10 The small number of kids at child-care centers who spend at least 60 minutes outdoors for recess

UNIQUE NICOLE/GETTY IMAGES.

Kevin Hart with Hendrix (left) and Heaven (right)

P If your kids lose, are they good sports about it? KH Yes—they’re disciplined and they train to win, but if they lose they take that loss, learn from it, and try to put themselves in a better position to win at another time.

It may be called the end of the trail, but in

many ways it s just the beginning.

Discovering your Maine Thing begins here.

kids

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health news

More than 90 percent of children play video games, according to the NPD Group, a market-research company. “ That statistic may alarm some parents, but studies show that games can actually be a fantastic medium through which kids create, solve problems, multitask, and take on new perspectives,” says Sandra Schamroth Abrams, Ph.D., associate professor of adolescent education at St. John’s University, in Queens, New York. They may also help kids become more resilient. “It’s often necessary to fail in order to do better, and video games teach kids to try again,” says Dr. Abrams. Some guidelines to keep gaming time positive and productive:

• Play together. “Most kids are

• Seize teachable moments.

happy to show their parents what they’re doing,” says Dr. Abrams. “They love getting to be the teacher.” • Set limits. You might decide not to allow any gaming on school nights, for example, and to ban all screens at the table.

“Once when my daughter was playing online, another gamer asked her to meet him on Skype for a chat,” says Dr. Abrams. “That gave me an opportunity to talk to her about Internet safety and how she can be smart while she’s online.”

IMAGESBAZAAR/GETTY IMAGES.

Good News About Video Games

Fabián Castillo FC Dallas

Diego Fagúndez New England Revolution

Kyle Beckerman Real Salt Lake

Be prepared for play.

No matter what team you’re on.

Giovani Dos Santos LA Galaxy

Smiling About Smart Snacks

The Fight Against Wolfram Syndrome

Putting a smiley face on a healthy snack could make your child more likely to choose it over something less nutritious. Greg Privitera, Ph.D., of the Center for Behavioral Health Research at the University of Phoenix, put stickers of smiling or frowning faces on foods and explained to a group of kids that a smile meant a food was healthy and they should eat more of it, while a frown meant it should be eaten less frequently. The kids were then allowed to choose a handful of snacks to eat. With the “emolabels” in place, kids were 83 percent more likely to pick healthier food options. Parents could certainly try this at home by using their own stickers, says Dr. Privitera.

When Stephanie Snow Gebel’s daughter Raquel was 5, she was diagnosed with Wolfram syndrome, a genetic form of diabetes that causes death before age 30 in about 60 percent of cases. Researchers at Washington University in

St. Louis are among the only ones looking for a cure, but around the time of Raquel’s diagnosis, the university was denied funding. Gebel jumped into action, establishing the Snow Foundation (thesnowfoundation .org) to raise money for more research. “I want to give hope to these families who never were able to hope before,” she says. Scientists have since identified a drug that may help slow the progression of the disorder and the group is trying to raise $5 million to support preclinical work and human clinical trials. “I can see the light,” Gebel says. —Zachary Verbit

From bottom left to right: Raquel, Gebel, Dr. Saad Nasser, and Dr. Fumihiko Urano

Parents donated $500 to the Snow Foundation. To nominate your organization or community-service project and to be considered for a donation, e-mail advocacy@parents.com.

Use all products as directed.

LEFT: SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY/GETTY IMAGES.

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kids

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health news

1 in 5

U.S. kids have an abnormal cholesterol measurement, says the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Change Up Your Toothpaste Beat your kid’s dreaded bedtime-routine blues with one of these.

While he brushes, Plaque HD turns any plaque that’s stuck on his teeth a teal color—so he’ll know where more attention is needed. $15; amazon.com

Yet another study has shown that pet turtles can make kids sick. Researchers identified salmonella outbreaks associated with small turtles and found that 68 percent of patients had direct exposure to turtles the week before they became ill. “Salmonella is part of a turtle’s gut bacteria,” says study coauthor Maroya Spalding Walters, Ph.D., an epidemiologist with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “That means all turtles—healthy or sick, big or small—carry it.” That

also means that turtles don’t make good pets for homes, schools, or settings with kids under 5, since young kids have a less-developed immune system and are more likely to put their hands in their mouth. For families with older kids, make sure everyone washes their hands after handling the animal, don’t let it roam free, and disinfect areas where it or its aquarium are washed. Having second thoughts about your turtle at home? Many shelters and pet stores accept unwanted pets.

Instead of using abrasives and detergents, LIVFREE Livionex Dental Gel cleans teeth with a food-grade ingredient called edathamil. The toothpaste contains no fluoride and only edible ingredients, so it’s okay if your child ends up swallowing it. $22; livionexdental.com

Cautious in the Car The Driver’s Little Helper kit includes a sensor pad that goes under the fabric cover of any car seat and alerts you on your smartphone if your child gets out of her seat, if it becomes too hot or cold, or if you accidentally leave her inside for a while after the car is stopped. $80; driverslittlehelper.com

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Hello Kids Fluoride Toothpaste comes in blue raspberry and bubble gum but contains no artificial flavors or dyes. $4; target.com

TOP LEFT: BLEND IMAGES/JOSE LUIS PELAEZ INC/GETTY IMAGES. RIGHT (3): PETER ARDITO.

➜ Turtle Trouble

NO CORN SYRUP. HIGH FRUCTOSE

#LovEyOurBread

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staying safe

more than 600 children drown every year But you can help bring down this tragic number. We’ll show you how to make nearly every body of water — from your bathtub to the beach — a whole lot safer for your family and friends. by KATE LAWLER ON A SUMMER Sunday in 2013, three of Trudy Cedeno-Quintana’s five kids splashed in their backyard pool while she watched them from just beyond the stone columns that surrounded it. Trudy usually swam with her children, but her husband, JC, had gone out to run an errand, so she had to listen for her infant twins,

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who were napping inside. She could see her son, Kyan, almost 3, on the pool steps with a flotation ring around his waist. His older siblings were nearby, talking to Trudy about Kyan’s upcoming birthday. When Trudy lost sight of Kyan from between the columns, she called out a question to him, but he

didn’t respond. She stood up to get a better view and glimpsed Kyan floating, just behind his brother and sister, who had their backs turned. His safety ring had fallen off. Trudy ran to the pool and jumped in, but Kyan was unresponsive. She did CPR and called 911, but he never regained consciousness.

photographs by THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY

WARDROBE STYLING BY SARAH CONROY. GROOMING BY CAROLINA BELLAVISTA. ON GIRLS, FROM LEFT: EGG BY SUSAN LAZAR. MINI BODEN.

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Sadly, young children can drown silently in as little as 25 seconds, even in the shallow end or in a baby pool, says Lois Lee, M.D., M.P.H., an emergency-medicine specialist at Boston Children’s Hospital. A doctor in the emergency room told JC that some children hold their breath and stay still, waiting for someone to grab them. The day after they lost their son, the Quintanas created Kyan’s Kause, a foundation that advocates for water-safety awareness and helps fund swimming lessons and CPR-certification in South Florida. With its year-round warm weather and an abundance of pools, beaches, and waterways, Florida has the highest drowning rate in the country among kids ages 1 to 4. But make no mistake: Drowning is a threat to children everywhere. Nationwide, it’s the number-one cause of accidental death in kids ages 1 to 4 and the second-most-common cause of injury-related death in children ages 1 to 14, according to

the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Every year upwards of 600 children under age 15 die from drowning, and seven times that many get treated in emergency rooms for nonfatal submersion injuries. Most deadly accidents affecting young kids happen in backyard pools, but there are also sneaky hazards around the house and at the beach. That’s why learning water-safety essentials and being aware of drowning dangers is so important. Start with this lifesaving advice: RULE 1

Never take your eyes off your child when she’s in or around the water. Kids who are not yet experienced swimmers need constant touch supervision when they’re playing in or near a pool or at the beach. That means you (or another responsible adult) should stay in the water with your child at all times, within touching distance, giving him

hidden dangers at home Buckets, ice chests, and 5-gallon tubs If you’re washing the car or mopping the floor, empty that bucket of water as soon as you’re finished. Keeping drinks on ice at an outdoor party? Put the tub or chest up on a table. Left outside to dry, an empty one can turn into a drowning hazard if it fills up with rainwater. Inflatable kiddie pools It’s a hassle, but you’ve got to dump the water from these pools each time you use them. In fact, they’re particularly dangerous because they’re not surrounded by fencing and they’re irresistible to small kids. If your toddler—or a neighbor’s child—wanders into the yard, he can easily climb over the soft side and slide into the pool. Backyard fish ponds Babies and toddlers are especially susceptible to cement fish ponds and other decorative water features. Either fence them in, fill them in with dirt, or wait until your child is older to install one in the first place.

Can you spot the drowning hazard in this photo? Long hair left loose (rather than pulled into a bun or braid) can get caught in a pool’s drain.

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Tubs and toilets Install locks on the covers of toilet seats, recommends Safe Kids Worldwide. During baths always hold onto your baby or toddler, even if she’s in a seat. And never leave her alone—not even to grab a towel, answer the phone, or get the door. Until they are old enough to take a shower, children need constant supervision in the tub. And keep in mind: Drowning rates increase when children bathe together in the same tub.

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100 percent of your attention. Once your child has learned to swim long distances and float on his back, he won’t necessarily need you right next to him, but you should always keep him in sight, no matter how old he is. (Kids of all ages can get stuck underwater, grow tired, or become panicked.) And don’t assume you’ll hear your child yelling or splashing if he needs help—that’s something you see in the movies. In real life, most kids and adults drown quietly and quickly, just like Kyan did.

On beach trips, the best view of your kids is a close-up.

RULE 2

Ignore your phone. Make a pact with yourself: When you’re at the pool or the beach or the lake, silence your phone and stow it out of reach in your bag so you’re not tempted to use it. “If you hear a text message come in and turn to your phone for five seconds, that’s long enough for a child to be submerged,” says Anne Beasley, M.D., a pediatric hospitalist at Phoenix Children’s Hospital. This doesn’t mean, however, that you should leave your phone at home; it’s best to keep it fully charged and within reach in case of emergency. (You should also

memorize the address of wherever you’re swimming so you can easily give your location to a 911 operator.) RULE 3

Don’t rely on water wings, inflatable toys, floating loungers, or pool noodles. “Parents put too much faith in flotation devices that were never made to be life preservers,” says James Callahan, M.D., a pediatric emergency physician at The Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia.

If your little one is a nonswimmer, it’s okay to let her use floatie toys, but only if you’re right there next to her in the water. And just say no to toy mermaid fins; they can trap your child’s legs, preventing her from easily kicking her way to the surface from beneath the water. The only safe flotation device is a well-fitting Coast Guard–approved life jacket, and it’s not a bad idea to have a weak swimmer wear one while she’s in or around the water (though, of course, you still need to be with her too).

safety checklist Find out if your pool or hot tub has these features recommended by kids’ health experts. Fence and Gate A four-sided, non-climbable fence that completely isolates the pool or the hot tub can cut drowning risk in half. The fence should be at least 4 feet high, with a self-closing, self-latching gate that a child can’t reach without an adult’s help. If you have a three-sided fence that attaches to your house, be vigilant about keeping your back door and windows secured with a lock that is out of children’s reach. Also consider putting an alarm with a unique tone on the

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door, since a small child can easily get into the yard and wander to the pool if it’s left open. A pool alarm, which goes off when something falls into the water, may also help.

Safety Cover For pools, the Consumer Product Safety Commission recommends multiple layers of protection. One they suggest, a rigid power cover, operates on a track and is strong enough for an adult to stand on. For hot tubs, purchase a hard, lockable cover. Keep the cover on whenever the pool is not in use.

Drain Covers Your pool and hot tub need anti-entrapment drain covers as well as safety vacuum-release systems that cut the risk of a child getting her hair or a limb caught in the drains. If you’re not sure you have the right ones, ask your pool-maintenance service to check. Teach kids not to touch drain covers, and to keep long hair in a braid during swim time.

Lifesaving Equipment It’s essential to have a poolside life ring and reaching pole.

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Don’t assume you’ll hear your child yelling or see him splashing if he needs help — that’s something that happens in movies. In real life, most kids and adults drown quietly and quickly.

Remember to keep all floating toys out of the pool when they’re not in use; otherwise they may entice a toddler into the water. RULE 4

Sign your child up for swimming lessons. What’s the right age to get started? The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that all children ages 4 and older take swimming lessons. But don’t let lessons give you a false sense of security: Regardless of ability, all toddlers and preschoolers need a caregiver at their side in the pool.

that each kid is responsible for knowing where her buddy is at all times. But don’t forget that a pal doesn’t replace adult supervision; the system serves as a supplement. RULE 6

When there’s a crowd, put a parent on lifeguard duty.

RULE 5

Make older kids buddy up. As an extra layer of protection, experts recommend that kids follow the buddy system. Pair your child with a friend or a sibling, and explain

Or better yet, hire help. At a party or a gathering, it’s almost guaranteed that parents will get distracted and look away from the pool at some point. A simple backup to make sure

that everyone’s safe: In addition to keeping track of your own kids, pay a pro or designate an adult “water watcher” and take turns every 15 minutes, suggests Dr. Beasley. That person’s only job is to sit on the edge keeping an eye on all of the children. If there are more than a few kids, designate multiple water watchers, with some swimming in the water with the littlest ones and others standing where they can observe the entire group. And don’t drink alcoholic beverages while your kids

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are swimming or hanging out by the pool; save the wine for when outdoor time is over for the day. RULE 7

Teach your child the rules. For easy memorizing, stick to these five: no running, no diving in the shallow end, no pushing people in, no pulling other kids under the water, and no swimming without adult supervision—ever. And remember: Children aren’t the only ones who shouldn’t swim alone; it’s not particularly safe for adults to swim solo either, says Dr. Callahan. RULE 8

Learn CPR. If the worst happens and you have to rescue a distressed swimmer, conducting CPR while you wait for an ambulance to arrive could save that person’s life. When the heart

3 tips for open water Wear Coast Guard–approved life jackets. Every person on a boat needs one. Kids should also put on a jacket when they’re around a pond, a lake, a creek, or a river or walking or playing on a dock. Watch out for waves. Be extra-vigilant when the water’s rough. A wave can knock a child over and drag her underwater in seconds. Stand near the edge of the water when your older children swim, and hold little kids’ hands at all times, even in the shallowest water. Understand the flags at a public beach. Different beaches may use different coding systems, but generally a red flag indicates high hazards. Two red flags (one on top of the other) means no swimming allowed. (So does a sign that says “no lifeguard on duty.”)

stops, continuing to circulate blood to the brain helps prevent a bad outcome, explains Dr. Beasley. “In a perfect world, all parents would be trained in CPR.” You can find a class through a community center or hospital, or via the American Heart Association (heart.org) or the

American Red Cross (redcross.org). If you’re untrained or rusty on CPR, do chest compressions (100 per minute), and skip rescue breathing, also known as mouth-to-mouth. When it comes to drowning, doing something is always better than doing nothing. ❾

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downtime finds Our latest favorite kids’ media picks

➜ For Your Gamer Get ready for the summer’s most epic athletic event with Mario & Sonic at the Rio 2016 Olympic Games. Players can prepare with a trainer and then test their skills in 14 events, including hurdles, archery, and golf. 10 years+, $40 for Nintendo 3DS; $60 for Wii U

➜ For Your Bookworm Sam Garton’s adorable critter returns in Otter: Oh No, Bath Time! Otter’s knack for getting into trouble will amuse younger children, while simple sentences make the book perfect practice for older kids who are learning to read. 4 years+, $17

Thunder Boy Jr. doesn’t like being named after his dad—he’d rather have his own name, like Touch the Clouds. Written by Sherman Alexie, author of The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, the book is a sweet look at the bond between a son and his father. 3 years+, $18

Fans of Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl won’t want to miss Look Out for the Fitzgerald-Trouts, by Esta Spalding. It follows four siblings who live together (in a car!) on a tropical island. In order to find a home, they’ll have to work together to deal with some inept adults. 8 years+, $17

What’s ’Appening? Based on the animated TV show, Slugterra: Slug Life lets kids go on exciting missions with colorful creatures. Players complete mini games to earn coins, which can be exchanged for training gear, dress-up items, and more for the slugs. 6 years+, free with in-app purchases for iOS it’s really fun to go on the missions! -Enzo, 7

➜ For Your Movie Lover One of our favorite fishes returns in Finding Dory. The film follows the forgetful blue tang, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres, as she looks for her parents. Naturally, she meets some crazy characters along the way. Not yet rated; opens June 17 PA R E N T S

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BOOKS: PETER ARDITO. DORY: COURTESY OF DISNEY PIXAR. MARIO & SONIC: COURTESY OF NINTENDO.

Peter Brown’s The Wild Robot begins as Roz wakes up to find she’s mysteriously alone on a strange island. The robot has no idea why she’s there, but she’ll have to deal with hostile weather and animals in order to survive. 8 years+, $17

THE LOVE OF READING

bright ideas These simple crafts and activities are made with the power of good old-fashioned sunshine. by JOCELYN WORRALL

Colors of the Sun Give new life to worn-down crayons. Remove paper from about 20 crayons and seal them in a gallon-size, zip-top plastic bag. Break them up using a hammer. Place 2- to 3-inch cookie cutters onto a parchment-lined cookie sheet. Your kid can fill the cutters with a ½-inch layer of crayon pieces, then place the sheet in direct sunlight until the pieces melt, 3 to 6 hours. Let cool for one hour or until solid, then gently pop out of cutters.

photographs by TARA DONNE

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Daylight Designs Using the sun’s light and treated fabric, your child can make a print of her favorite specimens. Gather toys, trinkets, and natural objects and let the fun begin. Turn the page for the full instructions.

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Daylight Designs White cotton fabric, cut into 18”x18” squares 20”x20” cardboard squares, covered in wax paper Tape Inkodye ($15; store.inkodye.com) Sponge brush Assortment of objects, such as leaves, branches, shells, rocks, or small toys Inkowash ($14; store.inkodye.com) MAKE IT

Instead of making your own sun-sensitive fabric, you can buy special paper (Nature Print Kit; $11; dickblick .com) to create the same effect.

1. Tape fabric squares to wax-paper-covered cardboard. While indoors or in a well-shaded area, paint a thin coat of Inkodye onto the fabric with sponge brush. 2. Have child place objects on the painted fabric. When the arrangement is complete, place it in direct sunlight. 3. After 10 minutes, bring it indoors. Remove the tape and then the objects. Wash the objects immediately if they will be reused. 4. Wash the fabric thoroughly as soon as possible using Inkowash to remove the Inkodye. Hang it up to dry in a well-shaded area.

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PROP STYLING BY PAM MORRIS. WARDROBE STYLING BY SARAH CONROY. GROOMING BY SOPHIE HAIG FOR BERNSTEIN & ANDRIULLI.

WHAT YOU’LL NEED

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With a Trace Let shadows be your child’s guide for this activity. In the morning (8 a.m.) or late afternoon (4 p.m.), place a table in a sunny spot where long shadows will be cast. Unroll paper (Easel Paper Roll, $14; alexbrands.com) along one side of the table and arrange a variety of objects along the paper’s edge. Have your child trace the shadows with markers.

Berry Tea

Mint Green Tea

4 decaf hibiscus tea bags + 50 blueberries + 25 halved red seedless grapes + 25 raspberries

4 decaf green tea bags + 4 sprigs of fresh mint + 1 sprig of fresh lavender (optional)

Lemon Tea 4 decaf black tea bags + 1 sliced lemon + 5 slices of fresh ginger (optional)

Sun Tea A refreshing treat that’s easy to make: Fill a 64-ounce glass jar—be sure it’s thoroughly washed—with 6 to 8 cups of water. Then with clean hands add tea and prewashed fruit or herbs. Cover loosely with a breathable cloth, place in direct sunlight, and steep for 3 hours. Stir in sugar or honey to taste, and serve over ice. Teas can be kept in the refrigerator for up to one week.

Ray Catcher Hang this mobile in a light-filled window to really let it glimmer and glow. Just be sure to keep it out of reach of little kids; the beads are a choking hazard. WHAT YOU’LL NEED

4 jumbo ice-pop sticks Hot-glue gun and glue sticks Cotton braiding cord (Clubhouse Crafts Tropical Cotton Braiding Cord, $4; joann.com) Small plastic, glass, and wooden beads Large crystal ball prism (40mm Feng Shui Asfour Crystal Ball Prism,$7; crystalclearimage.com) MAKE IT

1. Place a dab of hot glue on one end of an ice-pop stick. Attach the

end of another stick so that you now have one long, straight piece. 2. Create a cross shape with the two remaining sticks: Hot-glue the third stick, at a 90-degree angle, in the center top of the long piece you made; glue the last stick under it, also at a 90-degree angle. 3. Cut 8 pieces of cord in various lengths. Knot one end of each, then have your child string beads onto the cords. Wrap two beaded cords around each arm of the cross and knot in place. Adjust positions as needed to create balance. 4. Cut a 15-in. and a 7-in. length of cord. String and knot prism to bottom of longer cord, then string on more beads. Tie cord to center of mobile. Use shorter cord to knot a loop around center so it can hang.

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10 skills to master before age 10

Your child is more capable than you realize. Even your preschooler can begin to learn these essential life lessons. by MICHELLE CROUCH

STELLA, my 9-year-old daughter, was preparing to heat her dinner in the microwave when I noticed she’d left her fork on the plate. As I lunged across the kitchen to prevent sparks from flying, I wondered why no one had ever taught her that you can’t put metal in the microwave. Then I remembered: Wait, that’s my job! With so much for our children to learn in today’s high-tech world, it’s

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all too easy for them to miss out on practical life skills, whether it’s running a load of wash, reading a map, or handwriting a letter. A recent study by the online security company AVG Technologies found that while 58 percent of 3- to 5-year-olds in the U.S. can navigate a smartphone, fewer than one out of six (15 percent) could make their own breakfast. “I see many parents

doing everything for their kids instead of letting them figure out how to fend for themselves,” says Tim Elmore, founder of Growing Leaders, a nonprofit in Norcross, Georgia, that works with schools and civic groups to promote leadership qualities in children. Start teaching these life skills now, and put your kid on the path toward independence.

photographs by PRISCILLA GRAGG

➜ Doing the Laundry Too many teens head to college with no clue how to clean their clothes. Don’t let your kid become one of them. You can begin teaching your child when she is around 6. If you have a top-loading washer, keep a step stool nearby. Walk her through the process—how to measure and add the detergent, choose the settings, and start the machine. Amy Mascott, who blogs at TeachMama.com, taught her three kids (now 9, 10, and 12). She chose cute names for jobs: Wash Warrior, Super-Fly Dry Guy, Put ’Em Away Triple Play. Mascott says there have been snafus, like the time a whole load was folded and put away damp. “But I’m not aiming for perfection. I’m aiming for them to get the job done,” she says.

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your child to 1herRemind remove the price tag. Help find the right-size box. Explain that it’s important to wrap fragile items in Bubble Wrap or layers of tissue paper to protect them. Demonstrate how to unroll 2 the paper, wrap it all the way around the gift to make sure it fits, and then cut it. Tear off at least five pieces 3 of tape and line them up along the edge of a table. Show her how to turn over 4 and center the box, bring the paper up one side and

➜ Planting a Seedling Lots of preschoolers learn to plant seeds in class but not how to transfer sprouts into a garden. Whitney Cohen, coauthor of The Book of Gardening Projects for Kids, shares the basics. Ask your child to dig a hole that’s slightly larger than the container the plant is in. Once you remove the plant from the pot and place it in the hole, have her delicately push soil around it and pat it down. Let your child water it with a gentle stream from a watering can with a perforated nozzle.

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By age 6 or 7, your child can remove a seedling himself. Have him split two fingers apart so the stem of the plant goes between them, then squeeze the outside of the container until the plant comes out. If the roots are wound tightly, he should loosen them a few at a time before planting.

tape it to the box, then bring it up the other so it overlaps, pull the paper tight, and tape it down. For a pro look, she can fold over the edge and form a sharp crease before sticking it down. Have her face an open 5 end toward her, fold the top flap down and the sides flat against the box to form triangular flaps, then bring up the bottom piece and tape it. Repeat on the other side. Voilà! She’s created a pretty present.

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Wrapping a Gift Your child already loves giving presents, and wrapping them makes it even more satisfying. Preschoolers can help cut the paper and stick on the tape, while kindergartners can complete these steps.

Life’s greatest moments are celebrated with paper and paper-based packaging. On birthdays or any day. Discover how paper and packaging make special occasions even more meaningful. HowLifeUnfolds.com © 2015 Paper and Packaging Board. All Rights Reserved.

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➜ Writing a Letter Toddlers can dictate a letter to a family member (enhanced with drawings), attach the stamp, and drop it into a mailbox. Teach an older child how to address an envelope and the five parts of a letter: date, greeting (“Dear … ”), body, closing (“Sincerely”), and signature. You can also have them: Help with holiday cards. After your kid attaches 100 stamps and return-address labels, she’ll never forget where each goes.

Find a pen pal. Sites such as

Hammering a Nail 1. Give your child a 7- or 9-ounce hammer. Home-improvement stores sell kids’ models as light as 4 ounces, but with those it’s harder to pound a nail.

Amazing Kids (Amazing-Kids.org/ penpals) and International Pen Friends (InternationalPenFriends .com) can connect your child with an English-speaking pen pal in another country. Or keep it local; my daughters have gone through phases of corresponding by letter

with friends in our town. For them, nothing is as exciting as receiving something addressed to them.

Correspond with POTUS. Have her address the letter to The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, DC 20500. When my 7-year-old daughter, Rosie, requested that President Obama adopt his next pet from the pound, she was thrilled to get his response, including an autographed portrait and a photo of his dog, Bo.

2. Use a piece of soft wood (such as pine, poplar, or cedar). You can hold it in place with clamps or a vise, or simply place it on the ground.

4. When your child is ready to do it himself, you can push a nail through a small piece of cardboard so it’s held in place as he hammers it into the wood. Make sure your child holds the edge of the cardboard instead of the nail (to protect his fingers). 5. Once he’s mastered that method, have him try holding the nail. Be prepared for a sore thumb or two, but before long he’ll get the hang of it.

Next Tool: the Screwdriver Unscrewing is easier for young kids than screwing. They’ll love taking apart broken printers, vacuums, and other devices. You can “start” the screw if it’s extra tight. Don’t forget to teach the saying, “Righty, tighty. Lefty, loosey” to help them remember which way to turn.

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Make it easy on yourself: Have your kid add applesauce to her own yogurt!

➜ Preparing a Simple Meal Invite your child to help make meals, assign him jobs to do, and stay calm when the flour spills and the eggshells fly, says Christina Dymock, a mom of four and author of Young Chefs. Yogurt with fruit is a good first DIY breakfast. Preschoolers can spoon yogurt into a bowl and add prewashed cut-up fruit. Work with kids 5 and older on making sandwiches and smoothies (monitor the blender

closely). Around age 7 or 8, your kid can try toaster-oven faves like English-muffin pizza. Rosie makes salad by ripping lettuce, dumping in croutons, and cutting up tomatoes, cucumbers, and carrots. By age 10, kids can use the stovetop with supervision for a grilled-cheese sandwich. Focus on safety and practice, and you might just have a MasterChef Junior on your hands. Stella recently made scrambled eggs for breakfast by herself, and they were better than mine.

LEFT: EHSTOCK/GETTY IMAGES. RIGHT: TARA DONNE. FOOD STYLING BY LIZA JERNOW. PROP STYLING BY PAM MORRIS.

3. Pick nails with a wide head. At first you’ll have to “start” each one for him.

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milestones Let her wash the dog—and then the tub!

Navigating If you’ve ever gotten lost following a GPS’s turn-by-turn voice directions, you know why being able to read a map is essential (even if it’s one on your phone). These activities will build your child’s navigational skills.

Hunt for treasure. Maps seem boring … until you use them to look for booty. Hide toys in your yard and then draw a simple sketch to mark their location. Show your 3- or 4-year-old how objects on the map correspond to those in front of her. Have her lead the way. Zoos, museums, and theme parks have colorful, easy-to-read maps. Ask your preschooler to track her path, and challenge an older kid to get you from point A to point B.

Treating a Wound Teach your child from a young age not to freak out when he sees blood (and don’t overreact yourself). Giving him a game plan will distract him from the pain and come in handy when you’re not around to kiss his boo-boos.

1. If the cut or scrape is bleeding, press firmly on the area with a clean cloth or a paper towel until it stops. 2. Hold the cut under running water or dab it gently with a wet paper towel. 3. Apply antibiotic ointment with a cotton swab. 4. Cover with an adhesive bandage or gauze and tape.

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➞ Cleaning the Bathroom I hate toothpaste blobs, so I showed each of my kids, at age 3, how to wipe the sink after spitting. By 5 they were cleaning the counter too. Keep rags or a sponge handy. Toilet duties require greater skill. School-age kids can clean the lid, seat, and base with a disinfecting wipe. Make sure they wash their hands thoroughly afterward. Big kids can scrub the bowl with a nontoxic cleaner: Sprinkle the sides with baking soda, let it sit for a few minutes, pour in some vinegar, then scrub with a toilet brush.

➜ Comparison Shopping Teaching kids to be smart consumers takes practice. This three-step approach worked for our family. Explain as you go. Mention prices out loud and talk about your choices: “I’m getting gas at the other station because it costs 10 cents less per gallon.” I tell my kids about some things I’d like to have (Lululemon yoga pants, anyone?) but don’t buy because they’re not in our budget.

Let your kid pay sometimes. Give him an allowance, and then designate items he is responsible for

purchasing. My husband and I don’t buy any sweets. That’s forced our kids to become savvy shoppers. When the ice pops at our local pool began putting a dent in their cash flow, they pooled their money and bought a box of 12 to keep in the freezer.

Play the grocery game. At the supermarket, challenge your kid to find the least expensive brand of paper towels or tomato sauce.

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Take up geocaching. Kids ages 5 and up love this outdoor treasurehunt game, which uses GPS tracking to find containers filled with trinkets. Learn more at geocaching.com.

a d ve r t i s e m e n t

EXPLORER’S GUIDE TO THE

NATIONAL PARKS Brought to you by

A trip to the nation’s great National Parks in an RV will let you experience nature, discover history, and reconnect as a family, all with the comforts of home. Share these fun facts and activity cards with your little explorers for some added fun along the way!

Find your AWAY. Go RVing.

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK, WYOMING Known as the “American Serengeti” because of its sprawling landscape and rich wildlife, Yellowstone contains 67 different mammal species. Use the checklist on the back of this card to keep track of the animals you spot on your RV adventures.

NAVAJO NATIONAL MONUMENT, ARIZONA The Navajo National Monument preserves the cliff dwellings, homes, and territory of the Ancestral Pueblo Native Americans. See the back of this card for ideas to help your kids celebrate the rich Native American culture, while you take in the awe-inspiring scenery.

ACADIA NATIONAL PARK, MAINE From July through September, wild Maine blueberries are ripening throughout Acadia National Park. Pick some up at a roadside stand and whip up delicious wild blueberry muffins. Turn card over for the recipe.

GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAINS NATIONAL PARK, TENNESSEE Sometimes referred to as the “Wildflower National Park,” Great Smoky Mountains National Park is a world-renowned preserve of wildflower diversity. Recreate their beauty with the craft idea on the back of this card.

a d ve r t i s e m e n t

EXPLORER’S GUIDE TO THE

NATIONAL PARKS Brought to you by

These activities are sure to create lasting memories of your family RV vacation to a National Park!

Keep track of the amazing animals you see

Wild Blueberry Muffins INGREDIENTS 2 ¾ 2 ½ ½ 1 1

cups all-purpose flour cup plus 1 Tbs. sugar, divided tsp. baking powder tsp. baking soda tsp. salt large egg cup buttermilk, well-shaken

BISON

BLACK BEAR

BALD EAGLE

ELK

6 Tbs. unsalted butter, melted and cooled 2 tsp. vanilla 1¼ cups wild blueberries

1. Heat oven to 425°F. Line a standard muffin tin with paper liners. 2. Combine ﬂour, ¾ cup sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. 3. Whisk together egg, buttermilk, butter, and vanilla in a small bowl. 4. Pour wet ingredients into dry, stir until just barely combined. Gently fold in blueberries. 5. Divide batter among mufin cups. Sprinkle tops with remaining 1 Tbs. sugar. Bake 10 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 375°F; continue baking until golden, about 15 minutes more. 6. Transfer mufins to wire rack and let cool.

Find your AWAY. Visit GoRVing.com for more RV travel information.

Unleash their inner Picasso Before your trip, stock up on painting supplies—canvases, paint, brushes, etc. During your adventures, set up canvases outside of the RV and have your kids paint pictures of their favorite wildflowers and beautiful landscapes. This way, you will have a memento from your visit to bring home with you!

Find your AWAY. Visit GoRVing.com for more RV travel information.

Embrace the Native American culture by trying these fun activities while you relax in your RV BASKET WEAVING Navajo artists are famous for their weaving skills. Stop at the Visitor’s Center, where each summer a weaver demonstrates her craft. MAKE FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS Pack a variety of colors of thin yarn, scissors, and safety pins and let your kids weave away!

MAKE DREAM CATCHERS Using paper plates, string, and feathers, let your kids creativity sing by making colorful dream catchers. Place them above their sleeping area in the RV.

Find your AWAY. Visit GoRVing.com for more RV travel information.

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kids

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going places

Go to parents.com/maps to link to a Google Map for each trip. You can customize it based on your starting location.

Parents teamed up with Google Maps to create family-friendly road trips to some of the app’s most-searched summer destinations and attractions. With low gas prices and loads of fun places to stop, there’s never been a better way to see the country. by KAREN CICERO PA R E N T S

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how our maps work Each route is a loop, so you can begin at any point and follow the path in either direction. Don’t get hung up on the listed order; you can customize to suit your family. Ending up at the starting point is ideal if you’re flying in and renting a car. Look for our suggested pit stops on the maps, plus lodging and activities for your overnight stays.

ALISTAIR BERG/GETTY IMAGES.

all-american drives

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going places

california dreamin’

Head east from San Francisco for a nature-packed adventure at Yosemite National Park; end your drive on Route 1 for 200-plus miles of unobstructed ocean views. Aah! 3 Sacramento (1 night) Make it to Fairytale Town by 2 p.m. so you can spend two hours exploring the storybook-themed playground plus animals and a garden. Start the next day at the ArtBeast Studio, with a puppet theater, blocks, musical instruments, and a space capsule. By lunchtime, start driving to Humboldt.

913 miles 20 hours of driving Avoid taking any of these road trips the first week of August, when Google Maps predicts summer traffic will peak.

STAY Embassy Suites by Hilton Sacramento Riverfront Promenade (suites with two double beds start at $189 per night)

2 1

4 Humboldt County (1 night) Check into the resort at night. The next morning, head down the road to the Shrine Drive Thru Tree, where you can squeeze your car through a redwood tree and explore the nearby treehouses. Then drive 4 miles to the Visitors’ Center at the Humboldt Redwoods State Park. It will have info on the day’s Junior Ranger programs and guided nature walks to Founder’s Grove. Leave by late afternoon and drive to Mendocino. STAY Redcrest Resort (a cabin that sleeps 4 starts at $165 per night)

1 San Francisco (2 nights) Hop on a cable car for Fisherman’s Wharf, where you’ll kick off the trip at the Exploratorium, a hands-on science museum. Start at the tinkering gallery if you have kids under age 8. Spend the next morning at Golden Gate Park. Zoom around the playground, rent a rowboat, and have a cup of tea at the Japanese Tea Garden. Then cool off following the family-guide activities at the newly expanded San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. STAY Handlery Union Square Hotel (rooms with two queen beds start at $229 per night)

PA R E N T S

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2 Yosemite National Park (2 nights) Take the park shuttle bus to the lower falls area, where you’ll hike up to Yosemite Falls and get misted at the footbridge along the way. The next day, hit the 2¼-mile Sentinel Meadow and Cook’s Meadow Loops, stopping off for a snack at the Yosemite Village Store. Also see the Bridalveil Fall; the kids will get wet! Refresh by boarding the shuttle to the Nature Center at Happy Isles, which has interactive natural-history displays. Round out the trip with Junior Ranger activities. STAY Half Dome Village (tent cabins start at $104 per night)

5 Mendocino (2 nights) Have pizza and ice cream at Frankie’s, which offers gluten-free crust. The next day, explore downtown. Stop in the bookshop (it has a kids’ section) and Village Toy Store. Hop on the Adventure Trail at the Mendocino Coast Botanical Gardens or build sand castles at the beach. Return to San Francisco the following day. STAY Little River Inn (rooms with two queen beds start at $195 per night)

The majority of California’s roads are toll-free. illustrations by GARY VENN

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going places

a roaring good time The gurgling geysers and newly discovered dinosaur fossils on this trip through Wyoming and Montana will wow your mini scientist. Grand Teton & Yellowstone National Parks (3 nights) 1

Start by exploring Grand Teton’s trails that extend from the Craig Thomas Discovery & Visitor Center. Since the popular Jenny Lake area is under construction, take the 3-mile Heron Pond-Swan Lake loop, where you might see trumpeter swans, osprey, and moose. Have more fun at Grand Teton the next day. Then venture into Yellowstone, exploring the grounds around Old Faithful. Eat at the nearby Inn to fuel up for the Yellowstone Lake Overlook hike from West Thumb Geyser Basin, where you’ll see more geysers and mudpots. On the way to Billings, drive through the Hayden and Lamar Valleys, the best places to spy elk. Hop on the Trout Lake Trail for a short hike through the forest—you might spot river otters.

770 miles 15½ hours of driving Download your maps before your trip in case you drive into an area with no cell service.

STAY Headwaters Lodge at Flagg Ranch in Moran, Wyoming (cabins with two queen beds start at $280 per night). Or book a tent cabin for about $70 per night at either park.

2 Billings, Montana (1 night) When you arrive, grab an ice cream at the Big Dipper near the hotel. The next day, take the loop trail at Pictograph Cave State Park to view 100-plus rock paintings that date back more than 2,000 years. STAY Best Western Plus Clock Tower Inn (rooms with two queen beds start at $135 per night)

➜ leave the car at home! Last summer, Jamie Clark rented a mini Winnebago camper for a trip from Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, to Marion, Virginia. “It was one of the first times we didn’t hear, ‘Are we there yet?’ from my sons, who were 8 and 10 at the time,” says Clark. Want to try it? Kevin Broom from Go RVing gives you the basics:

PA R E N T S

58 J U LY 2 0 1 6

3 1

3 Thermopolis (2 nights) Get up early for the Dig for a Day Program at The Wyoming Dinosaur Center, where you can search for dinosaur fossils (more than 10,000 bones have been excavated from the area). You’ll stay there eight hours and receive a

Model The most popular motorized RV for a family, type C, comes with a shower, bathroom, and dining area, and sleeps 8. Type A Rvs are larger; some require a special driver’s license. The smaller type Bs fit up to 4 people. Price A rental costs $150 to $300 per day. Linens and dishes are extra. Gas Most RVs run on regular fuel, averaging 15 miles a gallon; Type Bs can get up to 20 miles per gallon.

guided tour of the museum when you return ($150 for adults, $100 for kids). Too big a commitment? Visit the museum and get a tour of the dig site. STAY Elk Antler Inn (rooms with bunk beds and a queen start at $80 nightly)

Safety Every seat, including ones at the dining table, comes with a seat belt. You can strap in a car seat or a booster for your child (state laws vary on whether they are required). Parking It’s best to settle in at a campground, since you’ll have ample room for parking and access to water, electricity, and Wi-Fi hookups; KOA has a lot of family-friendly ones with pools and activities. —Brooke Bunce

How can I share these cookies on the worldwide web if I can’t see them?

Keebler elves. Yummy Fudge Stripe cookies, they know. Social media, not so much.

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going places

blasts from the past Bring social studies to life with this Mid-Atlantic route highlighting the historical attractions that offer kids plenty of cool stuff to do.

3 Annapolis (1 night) Start with an Annapolis Harbor Cruise. The next day, tour The Maryland State House (where the treaty that ended the Revolutionary War was ratified) and the William Paca House and Garden (he signed the Declaration of Independence).

STAY DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Annapolis (a room with two double beds starts at $119 per night)

1 3

777 miles 14 hours of driving

Avoid Philly in late July when the crowds for the Democratic National Convention will roll into town.

1 Washington, D.C. (2 nights) Begin at the Smithsonian’s National Museum of American History, where you’ll see the flag that inspired the “Star-Spangled Banner,” First Lady dresses, and interesting artifacts from the American Revolution. Don’t miss two kids’ play areas. The next day, go inside the Washington Monument (tickets at nps.gov), tour the White House (your congressman can arrange it), and check out the U.S. Capitol Visitor’s Center (tickets at visitthecapitol.gov).

2 Williamsburg (3 nights) Spend a full day at Colonial Williamsburg, where you’ll walk along cobblestone streets and interact with costumed characters. See the fife-and-drum parade, the Governor’s Palace, and its shaded garden maze. The next day, visit Jamestown (with a replica ship, a fort, and real artifacts) as well as Yorktown (take a 30-minute ranger-guided tour of Revolutionary War battlefields). Stop at your hotel for lunch and swimming in between the visits to the two cities.

STAY The Embassy Suites Washington D.C. Convention Center (suites with two double beds start at $179 per night)

STAY Kingsmill Resort in Williamsburg (condos with a king bed and sleeper sofa start at $289 per night)

PA R E N T S

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4 Philadelphia (2 nights) Spend a day or more at Independence National Historical Park. Stop at the Visitors’ Center (kids can try on period costumes and park-ranger outfits), Benjamin Franklin Museum, Liberty Bell Center (find out why the bell is cracked), and Independence Hall (where the Declaration was signed; tickets at nps.gov). Then walk to the National Constitution Center; kids will have fun comparing themselves with the 42 life-size bronze statues of the Constitution signers. Finish at Fireman’s Hall Museum. STAY Wyndham Philadelphia Historic District (rooms with two double beds start at $219 per night)

5 Gettysburg (1 night) Head to the Gettysburg National Military Park Visitors’ Center. In summer, it has a cart with uniforms and soldier gear that kids can touch. Tour the battlefield free with a park ranger or, for kids 8 or older, on horseback with a private guide ($75 per person). STAY Drummer Boy Camping Resort (cottages start at $184 per night)

Ask your kids to spot license plates from the original 13 colonies.

No Artificial Preservatives. No Artificial Flavors. No Leftovers.

No artificial preservatives or flavors. Always made with milk.

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going places

new england charm Balance the bustle of Springfield, Massachusetts, and Boston with the serenity of Cape Cod and the White Mountains of New Hampshire. 1 Springfield (1 night) Begin at the free Dr. Seuss National Memorial Sculpture Garden at the Springfield Museums, where The Cat In the Hat and other Seuss characters are represented. Then go to the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame; kids shoot hoops in a full b-ball court, dunk in “training camp” machines, and record a sportscast.

2 634 miles 11 hours of driving Time your trip to be in Cape Cod on weekdays, when beaches are less crowded.

STAY Hilton Garden Inn, Springfield (rooms with two queen beds start at $139 per night)

2 White Mountains, New Hampshire (2 nights) Before checking into the hotel, stop at Polar Caves Park. Kids will love the nooks and crannies of this series of caves as well as the petting zoo and Maple Sugar House on-site. The next morning go to The Flume, a natural gorge, for an easy (and misty) 2-mile hike to see several waterfalls, rock formations, and covered bridges. Ride away at Clark’s Trading Post, which has a trained-bear show.

3 1

STAY Omni Mount Washington Resort in Bretton Woods (rooms that sleep 4 start at $219 per night)

3 Boston (3 nights) Spend at least a half day exploring the 21 exhibit areas (including a space just for newborns to 3-year-olds) at the Boston Children’s Museum. Then visit the nearby Boston Tea Party Ships and Museum. In the one-hour tour, kids will get to dump tea overboard, meet the colonists, and participate in a reenactment. Start the next day at the New England Aquarium, where kids can touch sea stars, epaulette sharks, and rays. Don’t miss two rides: the Greenway Carousel (near Fanueil Hall Marketplace, a restaurant mecca) and the Swan Boats (at the Boston Public Garden).

4 Cape Cod (2 nights) See the Highland Lighthouse—the Cape’s first—where kids can take part in the “Junior Keeper” program; if they’re 48 inches or taller, they can climb to the top. The next morning, take your little ones to an hour-long musical or puppet show at the Cape Rep Theatre. Then visit the Wellfleet Bay Wildlife Sanctuary for guided walks through salt marshes and tidal flats; kids can dip in nets to search for wildlife. Spend the rest of your time at the beach or splurge on the Whale Watch Dolphin Fleet, a naturalist-led cruise to see whales and sometimes dolphins.

STAY Hyatt Place Boston/Medford (rooms with two double beds start at $189 per night)

STAY The Villages at Ocean Edge, Brewster (one-bedroom villas start at $125 per night)

PA R E N T S

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➜ 4 more great trips!

Looking for one closer to your neck of the woods? Check out these routes at parents.com/roadtrips.

Florida Fun Explore Amelia Island, the Space Coast, Boca Raton, Tampa, and Ocala. Theme-park fans can add a side trip to Orlando. Midwestern Hotspots See museums, landmarks, and more in Chicago, Cleveland, Ann Arbor, Michigan, Cincinnati, and Indianapolis. Sand & Skyscrapers Combine city stops in Seattle and Portland with a couple of days at the beach. Monumental Vacation Tour Mount Rushmore and Estes Park, Colorado.

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eating well

meat me halfway

Dinner gets flexible with these dishes that cater to both vegetarians and the carnivores who love them. The trick? Prep one plant-based meal and add meat to half. by KATIE WORKMAN

Calling all omnivores Give the veggie one a try! More plants are a plus for everyone.

VEGGIE

or CHICKEN

Rainbow Couscous Salad

Main-course salads are ideal for “flexitarian” families. Use leftover or rotisserie chicken for our version (recipe, page 70). PA R E N T S

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photographs by YUNHEE KIM

Grilled Chimichurri “Steaks”

Slice cauliflower from the center of the head in 1-inchthick “steaks” (recipe, page 70). Save the extra from the sides of the head to roast later in the week.

VEGGIE

or BEEF

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eating well

Cakes Two Ways Active Time 45 minutes Total Time 45 minutes Makes 6 servings (3 vegetarian) INGREDIENTS

Hearts of palm have a similar texture to lump crabmeat for a tasty alternative.

1 sleeve saltines (36 crackers), crushed and divided 2 eggs, lightly beaten 6 Tbs. mayonnaise 3 Tbs. minced red onion 3 Tbs. chopped fresh parsley 2 tsp. Dijon-style mustard 1 tsp. Creole or Cajun seasoning Freshly ground black pepper, to taste 1 14-oz. can hearts of palm, drained and chopped 8 oz. drained crabmeat, picked over for shells 3 Tbs. canola oil, divided Lemon wedges and purchased remoulade sauce, for serving VEGGIE

or CRAB

MAKE IT

1. Place ¾ cup of the crushed saltines on a plate and set aside. 2. In a medium bowl combine the remaining ½ cup saltines, the eggs, mayonnaise, red onion, parsley, mustard, Creole seasoning, and black pepper. Place half of the mixture into another medium bowl. Add the hearts of palm to one bowl and the crab to the other; stir each to combine.

4. In a large nonstick skillet, heat half of the oil over medium heat. Add the vegetarian patties and cook for 4 to 5 minutes per side, or until golden brown. Transfer to a paper towel–lined plate. Repeat with the crab patties. Serve each with lemon wedges and remoulade sauce if desired. NUTRITION PER SERVING (VEGETARIAN) 357 calories; 6g protein; 28g fat (4g sat. fat); 23g carbs; 3g fiber; 2g sugar; 3mg iron; 72mg calcium; 889mg sodium (CRAB) 400 calories; 18g protein; 29g fat (4g sat. fat); 20g carbs; 1g fiber; 2g sugar; 1mg iron; 93mg calcium; 768mg sodium

PA R E N T S

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FOOD STYLING BY SIMON ANDREWS. PROP STYLING BY PAIGE HICKS.

3. Shape the hearts-of-palm mixture into three ¾-in.-thick patties. Repeat with the crab mixture. Coat each patty with crushed saltines, working with the vegetarian patties first.

Don’t be afraid of these dinosaurs. They’re 100% all natural* chicken.

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eating well

VEGGIE

or SAUSAGE

Summer Vegetable Lasagna Active Time 1 hour Total Time 2 hours Makes 12 servings (6 vegetarian) INGREDIENTS

2 red, orange, or yellow sweet peppers, halved and seeded 1 zucchini, bias-sliced ¼-in. thick 1 Japanese eggplant, bias-sliced ¼-in. thick 2 Tbs. olive oil Salt and pepper 8 oz. uncooked turkey-sausage links 1 28-oz. jar pasta sauce 2 cups part-skim ricotta cheese 1 cup shredded Parmesan cheese, divided 2 eggs, lightly beaten Nonstick cooking spray 1 8-oz. pkg. no-cook lasagna noodles (12 sheets) 2 cups shredded part-skim mozzarella cheese

PA R E N T S

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MAKE IT

1. Preheat the oven to 375°F. Preheat grill to medium. Brush the sweet peppers, zucchini, and eggplant with oil and season with ¼ tsp. salt and pepper to taste. Grill the vegetables for 2 to 3 minutes per side or until they are grill-marked and tender. Grill the sausage links for 15 to 20 minutes or until done (165°F). When cool enough to handle, coarsely chop the vegetables and sausage. 2. In a medium bowl, combine the chopped vegetables and pasta sauce. Transfer 3 cups into another bowl and set aside. Add the sausage to the remaining pastasauce mixture. 3. In a medium bowl, combine the ricotta, ¾ cup Parmesan cheese, eggs, and pepper to taste. 4. Coat an 8-in.-square baking pan

with cooking spray. Layer 2 lasagna noodles, ½ cup ricotta mixture, and 1 cup vegetarian-sauce mixture. Repeat layers two more times. Sprinkle 1 cup mozzarella cheese and 2 Tbs. Parmesan cheese on top. Repeat the process in a second baking pan using the meat-sauce mixture. If desired, top veggie version with a V-shaped piece of pepper. 5. Cover the pans with foil. Bake, covered, for 25 minutes. Uncover and bake for 25 minutes more, until bubbly and lightly browned on top. Let stand for 10 minutes before cutting and serving. NUTRITION PER SERVING (VEGETARIAN) 304 calories; 16g protein; 15g fat (7g sat. fat); 27g carbs; 4g fiber; 7g sugar; 2mg iron; 309mg calcium; 592mg sodium (WITH TURKEY SAUSAGE) 360 calories; 22g protein; 18g fat (8g sat. fat); 27g carbs; 4g fiber; 7g sugar; 2mg iron; 316mg calcium; 824mg sodium

SHALL WE BE ORIGINAL? Nothing Else Tastes Like

Or hit the sweet spot? Nothing Else Tastes Like

kids

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•

eating well

➜ Rainbow Couscous Salad

➜ Grilled Chimichurri

Active Time 45 minutes Total Time 45 minutes Makes 6 servings (3 vegetarian)

Active Time 35 minutes Total Time 35 minutes Makes 6 servings (3 vegetarian)

INGREDIENTS

1 medium zucchini, halved lengthwise and sliced into half-moons (1¼ cups) 1 cup fresh or frozen corn, thawed ¼ cup olive oil, divided ¾ tsp. salt, divided 3 Tbs. fresh lemon juice 1 Tbs. honey Freshly ground black pepper 3 cups baby spinach 2 cups cooked Israeli couscous 1 15-oz. can chickpeas, drained and rinsed 1 cup grape tomatoes, halved ⅓ cup thinly sliced red onion 1 cup crumbled feta cheese (optional) 2 cups cubed or shredded cooked chicken breast MAKE IT

1. Preheat the oven to 400°F. In a large baking pan combine the zucchini, corn, 1 Tbs. of the olive oil, and ¼ tsp. salt. Roast for 10 minutes or until just tender. Let cool slightly. 2. Meanwhile, for the dressing, whisk together the remaining 3 Tbs. olive oil, the lemon juice, honey, ½ tsp. salt, and pepper to taste. 3. In a very large bowl combine the spinach, couscous, chickpeas, tomatoes, red onion, zucchini mixture, and dressing. Toss to combine. Sprinkle the feta over the top, if using. 4. Separate the salad you’d like to keep vegetarian and add the cooked chicken to the rest. Serve warm or at room temperature. NUTRITION PER SERVING (VEGETARIAN) 307 calories; 9g protein; 11g fat (1g sat. fat); 47g carbs; 4g fiber; 7g sugar; 2mg iron; 47mg calcium; 545mg sodium (WITH CHICKEN) 461 calories; 38g protein; 14g fat (2g sat. fat); 47g carbs; 4g fiber; 7g sugar; 3mg iron; 61mg calcium; 614mg sodium

( W\ISPJ ZLY]PJL TLZZHNL MYVT PA R E N T S

)0* <:( 0UJ :OLS[VU *;

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“Steaks”

1½ ¼ 2 1 2 ½ ½ 3 3

cups parsley leaves cup red-wine vinegar Tbs. chopped shallot Tbs. fresh oregano or 1½ tsp. dried oregano cloves garlic Salt tsp. crushed red pepper cup extra-virgin olive oil Freshly ground black pepper 1-in.-thick cauliflower slabs 6- to 8-oz. boneless strip or sirloin steaks

MAKE IT

1. In a food processor or blender combine the parsley, vinegar, shallot, oregano, garlic, ¾ tsp. salt, and crushed red pepper. Pulse until finely chopped. Add the oil and process until nearly smooth. Season with black pepper to taste. Divide ¼ cup chimichurri evenly between two large plates and reserve the remainder. 2. Preheat a greased grill to medium. Season the cauliflower and beef with salt and pepper. Grill the cauliflower for 14 to 16 minutes, turning once halfway through. Grill the beef for 8 to 10 minutes or to desired doneness. 3. Transfer the cauliflower and beef to the prepared plates. Let rest for 10 minutes, turning each steak once to absorb some sauce. Drizzle with the remaining chimichurri. NUTRITION PER SERVING (VEGETARIAN) 209 calories; 4g protein; 19g fat (3g sat. fat); 10g carbs; 4g fiber; 3g sugar; 2mg iron; 61mg calcium; 346mg sodium (STEAK) 431 calories; 38g protein; 29g fat (7g sat. fat); 2g carbs; 1g fiber; 0 sugar; 5mg iron; 40mg calcium; 400mg sodium

100% QUALITY INSPECTED

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ha!

➜ The verdict

whodunnit ? the case of the broken sofa Solve this household mystery, using limited clues left at the scene. You must decide which of the usual suspects is responsible. by AARON TRAISTER ➜ The scenario You return to the comfort of your (unusually empty) living room after taking out the garbage to discover that your couch has been broken in half. So, who is responsible: Kindergartner, Toddler, or Dog?

➜ The 5 clues 1. The seat of your once-proud, year-old Crate & Barrel couch is now shaped roughly like a “V.”

PA R E N T S

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2. Three of the cushions have been ripped open, and the interior foam has been shredded and strewn about the rest of the room. 3. There are two muddy spots on one of the armrests, which vaguely resemble footprints. 4. Dog fur covers everything. 5. Half a pair of orange-handled nunchucks are sadly hanging out from beneath the only surviving seat cushion.

➜ Next time on future installments of Whodunnit? • The case of Dad’s shoe in the toilet • The case of the smartphone that’s buried in the cucumber bed • The case of Mom’s book club’s missing cheese platter ❾

STEPHEN SWINTEK/GETTY IMAGES.

It’s not what it looks like!

Kindergartner is the culprit. Toddler is not shy about jumping all over the furniture and creating chaos; however, Toddler lacks the strength, dexterity, and body mass to generate the momentum that’s needed for this kind of targeted large-scale destruction. While Dog certainly had a hand in destroying the pillows, it must have occurred after the fact, because Dog has never displayed interest in using the couch for anything other than a place to sneak naps. Kindergartner doesn’t use objects in the way they were intended and has a couch-destroying combo of weight, mobility, and poor judgment. The most likely explanation is that Kindergartner was reenacting an episode of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Kindergartner climbed up on the armrest and launched himself into the air (most likely shouting “Cowabunga!”) and then landed smack in the center of the couch, cracking it down the middle. In the ensuing chaos, Dog began tearing up the displaced cushions of his oncebeloved napping space, nervously shedding his fur everywhere. This hypothesis is supported by the fact that you caught and reprimanded Kindergartner for making a similar jump from the armrest of said sofa last week. Mystery solved! Proceed to have a talk with Kindergartner in which you assure him that he won’t see anything Mutant Ninja–related until he’s 18. Then try to score some lawn chairs and milk crates to use for your entertaining needs for the foreseeable future.

Cats Can’t Resist™ ®/™ Trademarks © Mars, Incorporated 2016. TEMPTATIONS™ Cloud design is a trademark.

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baby bloopers

quirky quotes from kids While at the grocery store, I put a container of breadcrumbs in the cart. My daughter asked what it was and I told her. She then asked, “Is that for when we get lost?” Chela Williams; Murray, UT ELLIANA, 5

LAUREN, 6 We were driving through a residential neighborhood, when the voice on the GPS said, “After 50 yards, turn right.” My daughter looked from side to side out the windows and then said, “Do I have to count all the yards or only the ones on my side?” Rachel Lowe; Trumansburg, NY EMERY, 7 Our daughter was pretty stressed about our

move from Kentucky to Philadelphia, so we talked up the exciting sites in our new city. She loves animals, so I mentioned that Philadelphia had the first zoo in the country. “Wow,” she said. “Those animals must be getting really old.” Lauren LeBlanc; Royersford, PA ROSALIND, 3 A close friend of mine is gluten-free, so my daughter and I have talked about what she can and can’t eat. Rosalind saw me picking daffodils in the yard one day and asked who they were for. When I told her they were for my friend, she exclaimed, “Mama, you can’t! She’s allergic to flower!” Sarah Wright; Lewis Center, OH

On our drive to town to go shopping, we always pass a herd of buffalo. I told my boys to look out the window so they could see them, and my oldest son said, “That’s where wings come from, right?” Sheena Arnold; Hamilton, MT ODYNN, 8

EIVIND, 4 My son and 2-year-old daughter were playing with my pots and pans one day. Eivind put one on his head, turned to his sister, and said, “Do you want to be a pot head with me?” Kayla Jore; Nicollet, MN

crack us up & win! Your funny story could appear on this page and you could win a $50 gift card from kids’ clothing company Crazy 8. Plus, you could also win the Parents Best of Bloopers grand prize—a $500 gift card from Crazy 8. PARENTS BEST OF BLOOPERS CONTEST, RULES Send your funny story to kidquotes@parents.com. Include your full mailing address, phone number, and your child’s name and date of birth. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Subject to Official Rules at parents.com/blooperscontest. The Best of Bloopers Contest begins at 12:00 a.m. ET on 12/1/15 and ends at 11:59 p.m. ET on 11/30/16. Open to legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia, 21 years or older. One entry per person per e-mail address per day. Void where prohibited. Sponsor: Meredith Corporation.

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you. F I N D YO U R H E A LT H Y, H A P P Y M O M P L A C E

THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY. WARDROBE STYLING BY KAREN KOZLOWSKI. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY PAOLA ORLANDO FOR TIMOTHY PRIANO.

Didja know? Freckles are not the same as age spots, which are larger in size and show up later in life.

spot on! If you have a smattering of freckles across your face that showed up in childhood, flaunt them. Freckles are a genetic response to sun exposure, but they’re not always a sign of skin damage, says Alicia Barba, M.D., a dermatologist in Miami. Of course, we’d be remiss not to remind you to wear sunscreen with a minimum of SPF 30 every day to protect yourself from UV rays. So do it!

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beauty news

road test Body Serums Designed to nourish skin with a higher concentration of active ingredients in a lightweight, fast-absorbing formula, body serums are a good moisturizer option for summer. We asked moms to give a few of the latest offerings a spin. Vaseline Intensive Care Advanced Relief Healing Serum. $9; walgreens.com “I was surprised by the lightweight feel—good for a humid summer day. And it did a better job than my current moisturizer of making my skin soft.” —Andrea Katz; Winchester, Massachusetts

“The scent is refreshing. I used the serum on my thighs, where I have some problem skin; it absorbed quickly and made the area feel almost firmer.” —Loraine Wallace; Caledonia, Mississippi

Bare Republic Milk & Honey Daily Recovery Serum. $12; target.com “I think this is great for parched skin, but I’m not sure how deeply it moisturized. It has manuka honey, which I recently discovered and love—so good for treating my eczema.” —Kristin Fuerst; White Plains, New York

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Fix This Common Sunless-Tanner Mistake Applying sunless tanner with a heavy hand is a frequent rookie flub. So if things are looking a little uneven, try these tips from Monica Blanco, CEO of Golden Runway, a line of sunlesstanning cosmetics. Avoid the instinct to scrub; that only leads to streaks. Instead, gently buff any excess color that’s settled in with a warm, damp washcloth, then reapply to the trouble spot when it’s dry. The second layer will hide most flaws.

Pretty Pairings It’s mani-pedi season and we rounded up the hot new shades. The first in each set is fun for fingers, the second for toes. Pantone colors o ’s f the

CND Vinylux Weekly Polish in Be Demure. $10.50; loxabeauty .com

Sinful Colors Nail Enamel in Sail La Vie. $2; drugstores

Orly Nail Color in Paradise Cove. $8.50; orlybeauty .com

Sally Hansen Miracle Gel Nail Color in World Wide Red. $10; drugstore .com

OPI Nail China Lacquer in Glaze Nail Sailing & Lacquer in Nailing. $10; Whip It macys.com Good. $7.50; ulta.com

SERUMS AND NAIL POLISH: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. MODEL: FABRICE LEROUGE/GETTY IMAGES.

EO Certified Organic No. 2 Restorative Body Serum. $22; eoproducts.com

HAVE YOU EVER BREWED ICED TEA AT HOME? IT’S LIKE THAT.

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finding balance

be happier

think like a kid! Savoring the moment is hard when you can’t find a free one. With a little ingenuity, though, you can feel like a child again and (almost) anything is possible. by CARA BIRNBAUM

IF YOU walked by my house one morning last summer, you may have seen my two children in the front yard, barefoot, attempting to sell dirt to passersby for a quarter. With enterprising grins and smudged faces, they hustled our mailman and hatched a plan to take their business up the street, door-to-door.

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Which is when I stopped weeding the tomato beds and—imagining a trail of mud through my kitchen—hosed down their feet. “Our neighbors have their own dirt,” I said tensely, ushering them inside. Later that night, I lay awake, watching a mental loop of my kids, 7 and 4, prancing around the lawn,

squeezing every ounce of joy out of a bucket of dirt. I wanted a do-over. Instead of cutting the fun short, what if I’d kicked off my shoes and joined my kids? How could I possibly stress about mud tracks in the house—or, anything—if I was skipping barefoot through grass? But then, I hadn’t skipped anywhere since I was a kid.

#YOLO!

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finding balance

Honestly, I wanted that do-over even more for my benefit than for my children’s. Because, while everyone’s buzzing about the disappearance of unstructured play, my kids actually get lots of it, often with me on the floor playing doll school with them. But here’s the missing piece of the conversation about play: Parents need playtime of their own—beyond doll school, which frankly makes me to want to gouge out my eyes. “It makes us more interesting and better adjusted in social circumstances,” according to Scott Eberle, Ph.D., editor of the American Journal of Play. “We are undeniably fitter and quicker when we play, and we are measurably duller and more

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on edge when we do not. Play helps us blow off steam.” I’ll admit my first reaction was: “Great. Another self-improvement exercise to squeeze into my day.” Then I thought back to my kids. They don’t pencil in time to sell dirt and sing country songs at the top of their lungs. My preschooler, in particular, lives out of the box, approaching life with spontaneity, wide-eyed curiosity, and a sometimesmaddening disregard for anyone else’s feelings or timetable. In other words, play finds kids. And experts who study happiness say it can find us grown-ups, sometimes in the most unexpected moments, if we learn to channel a little kid-think.

➜ Our Playful Past I’ve been flipping through a lot of old photos lately. When I study shots of myself from college and just after, I’m struck less by the lack of crows’-feet and smile lines and more by the general buoyancy—the sparkly eyes and broad smiles that seemed to say, “Whatever guy—or job—turmoil is happening today, anything can happen tonight, or tomorrow, or next week.” As a friend, a mom of two, said to me the other day, “I miss that feeling ... the unexpected! A crush, a new task to master, a wave of music washing over me at a live concert.” I consider my average grind: wake, shower, blend breakfast smoothies, barely make the school bus, hop on the treadmill, hustle to meet my work deadlines, cook dinner, chase my kids down the hall waving pajamas and toothbrushes, repeat. It’s hard (okay, it’s scary) to imagine shoehorning in any extra surprise or spontaneity. But Dr. Eberle swears I can get back there—not to those freewheeling postcollege days (who has the stamina?) but at least partway back to early childhood, when my brain was wired for unadulterated play. Any mom worth her dog-eared copy of Harvey Karp, M.D.’s The Happiest Toddler on the Block knows this is when our emotions reigned supreme and we were unhampered by logic, forward-thinking, or fears of looking silly. Even more remarkable is kids’ instinctive knack for savoring the moment. Parents advisor Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., child psychologist and author of What About Me?: 12 Ways to Get Your Parents’ Attention (Without Hitting Your Sister), recalls when she watched her daughter, then barely a year old, laughing at the sounds of measuring spoons she kept dropping on the floor—a perfect example of flow, a state first documented by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, about

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BRUSHED CLEAN FEELING

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finding balance

emeritus of pediatrics at Children’s Hospital Colorado and author of No Regrets Parenting. “Now that my children are grown, I’m seeing the world with a wonderment that I missed during the hectic years of parenting kids and climbing professional ladders. I’m able to sit with a cup of coffee in the backyard and watch how a group of little gnats gather in one community and then disperse. I wish I hadn’t skipped the decades between my own childhood and now before I was able to think like this again with awe and wonderment.”

40 years ago, when he was watching artists who were completely absorbed and utterly unself-conscious while they were painting. “He went on to study it in rock climbers, train engineers, and other people and found that these moments of flow are deeply satisfying. They give us a sense of joy,” she says. Even euphoria. I feel it occasionally on the treadmill, when Beyoncé pops up on my shuffle play and my sneakers start slapping the conveyor belt in time. All the single ladies, all the single ladies ... (Don’t judge.) Of course, little kids don’t need treadmills or classes to move their body. They’re happier—and they sleep better— when they’re running, scooting, or dancing—preferably in the fresh air. According to Dr. Kennedy-Moore,

when they start to act up, the typical parent’s response is “Everyone outside! Yet,” she points out, “we don’t do that for ourselves.” By the ripe old age of 5, those moments are already fewer and farther between. Kids understand the idea of rules—the notion that certain things are okay and others are not. By 7 or 8, “they develop the ability to realistically compare themselves with others,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. Once young adulthood rolls around, the regions of the brain responsible for managing life’s juggling act are fully functioning. “Being a good parent is usually synonymous with more responsibility, more attention to your kids’ needs, and more obsessive worry,” notes Parents advisor Harley A. Rotbart, M.D., professor

Dr. Rotbart has his gnats. And my preschooler has his birds. A few weeks ago, after dropping my daughter at school I was cramming my son into his car seat when he pointed across the street to a park filled with geese. “Bawds!” he called out. “Yeah, look at that,” I said mindlessly, hurriedly. Then it struck me that we didn’t actually have anywhere to be this morning. Soon we were at the park, hand in hand, mesmerized as a ginormous flock of geese skated across the sky in one mystifyingly choreographed sweep, before swooping down to the water. It sounds totally sappy, but it felt like a gift to see the show through my child’s unjaded eyes. “More often than not,” says Dr. Rotbart, “whatever our kids are observing is something we haven’t stopped to think about

n-ups

STEPHANIE RAUSSER/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

➜ Capturing Kid-Think

g since our own childhood. Their excitement is contagious.” So are the giggles. As a busy mom of four, Dr. Kennedy-Moore knows how hard it is to banish her to-do list in the face of family chaos: “Part of our responsibility as parents is to look ahead and say, ‘We’d better go inside now and have a bath before dinner.’ ” But she finds pulling a few silly gags takes almost no time at all—and can turn a frantically late school car pool into a hilarious start to the day. “Speak in a funny accent, put your shoe on your ear, challenge everyone to pick up a pencil with their elbows,” she suggests. “Being silly is a good exercise for adults, who sometimes get too bogged down in the seriousness of life.” The idea is to keep the kid-think going after we step away from our little muses. I’ve got the silly part down: After a protracted bedtime routine, cackling with my husband over reruns of Broad City melts away the tension better than the stiffest cocktail. It’s more fun to laugh over my son’s poop-in-thebathtub incident than wring my hands about it—and I surround myself with pals who do the same. I’m also striving not to shy away from the unfamiliar. Experts point out that little kids live many of their waking hours outside their comfort zone—and we’d be wise to do the same. “A child who is learning to walk will fall down 8 million times,

getting up again and again,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. “Older kids and adults tend to say, ‘I’m not good at that—I’ll just stop.’ ” (I think about my 8-year-old daughter, who’s been hounding me to take our local museum’s printmaking class ever since I murmured an interest months ago.) When Dr. Kennedy-Moore bit the bullet and signed up for ice-skating lessons—despite a complete lack of coordination—she was out of her comfort zone but proud of herself for being brave enough to try.

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➜ Playtime 2.0 A few weeks after I finish my conversation with Dr. KennedyMoore—feeling inspired by her sense of fun—our family is kicking back with some friends by their pool, eating chips and guacamole, the adults sipping margaritas. Later, after the kids have been tucked into the guest room, guitars and egg shakers will be brought out. An old Go-Go’s song will play on someone’s iPad. The next day, I’ll show my kids the video of Mommy dancing to “We Got the Beat.” But before all that, as the sun sets, our host suggests—I swear—that we all try skipping around the yard. And suddenly, there we are, a bunch of goofygrinned adults prancing barefoot through grass, our kids looking on with bemused smiles before running over to play along. ❾

bluebunny.com

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first person

“you’re a great father, man !” IT’S A CRISP Saturday morning, and I’m walking down West Eighth Street in New York City. My infant son, Theo, is secured to my chest in an Ergobaby carrier. I’m also holding two bags of groceries. The boy and the food total about 35 pounds, evenly distributed, and I’m not struggling in the least. Suddenly,

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a twentysomething man walking the opposite way makes eye contact with me. His gaze moves from my eyes to the baby carrier, then back to me. At the precise moment we pass, he says, softly but definitively, “You’re a great father, man.” My immediate thought: There must be some other dad behind me

simultaneously changing the diapers of triplets. Or empathizing with his teenage daughter. I turn around. There’s no other parenting going on. It’s me he’s talking about. Yes, I’m the great father. Me. Me! I manage to complete my roughly three-minute journey from the

STEPHANIE RAUSSER/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

We dads routinely get praised for things moms are expected to do every day. Shouldn’t we be held to the same standard? by ROSS McCAMMON

THE CHOICE OF ITALY ®

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first person

supermarket and hike up the four flights of stairs to our apartment, my son alive, my groceries intact, my devotion to family totally validated, and my attitude slightly more sanctimonious than when I left to run some errands. “Hey, honey, guess what? Some dude just told me I’m a great father,” I say to my wife. “Why?” she replies. “Because I was taking care of business, you know?” “Because you went to the grocery store with your son?” “Yeah.” “Theo wasn’t even awake.” She had a point. In the three-plus years since that weird street encounter, I’ve received heaps of unwarranted acclaim for the decidedly ordinary skills and devotion I regularly exhibit as a father, performing feats such as …

We need to move beyond the idea that a dad’s presence alone makes him great at the job. It undervalues the importance of a father’s engagement. Carrying my son on my shoulders (“What a great dad you are”) Doing something that seems to stop him from crying (“Nice job!”) Taking Theo and his friend to the other end of the playground so their moms can talk by themselves (“Good man!”) Showing my son how to use a screwdriver (“Awww!”) The language people use to stroke fathers sounds an awful lot like the words we tend to use to praise kids. In fact, men are graded on such a generous parenting curve that I came up with a handy checklist for measuring our so-called excellence.

Each entry is worth 10 points. Accumulate 40 and congrats: You, too, are a “great dad!” Hang out with your kid in a public setting without your partner Attend an event that you likely wouldn’t be attending if your kid wasn’t with you Don’t blow up the house while warming a bottle Seem to have a good time with your kid Transport your child from one place to the next in a manner that might be considered by some to be a bit uncomfortable—for you, not for the child (Note: Moms can also use this checklist to rate themselves, but each entry is only worth 1 point.) All joking aside, we need to move beyond the idea that a dad’s presence alone makes him great at the job. It’s condescending and undervalues the importance of a father’s regular engagement. Spending time with your child does not make you great. Strapping a baby to your chest and leaving the house does not make you great. On the other hand, the seemingly silly things a dad does may actually be great. A friend of mine recently planted a golf ball that my son and his son were fighting over so they could check back in a few months to see if it had grown into a golf-ball bush. That’s greatness. When Theo, now 4, couldn’t get to sleep one night, I crawled into bed with him and made up a story about a skinny cow named Buckley, who was ostracized by the rest of the herd: One day, the cows had eaten all the grass in their fenced-in

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pasture and were getting hungry. Buckley, being a skinny and frail cow, was able to squeeze his head through the fence posts, bite off grass, and deposit it into the pasture so the other cows could eat. Despite a brisk narrative and a comedic subplot involving the farmer that I’m not getting into here, it was hardly a brilliant story (logic problems, undeveloped characters). Yet it was exactly what my son needed at exactly the time he needed it, and it involved thoughtfulness, creativity, and devotion. I was great that night. What makes a father great is what makes a mother great. Greatness is what happens when no one is around to congratulate you. It’s hidden, quiet, and only occasionally (and incidentally) public. Others might have a hunch that a father is a great parent, but only two people know it for sure: the dad and his kid. ❾

MELANIE ACEVEDO/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

True greatness at work

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COURTESY OF ANISSA ZAJAC.

Made with Pellon 805 WonderUnder fusible webbing. $3 per yard; joann.com

sleep on it Perk up a pillowcase with this idea from House Seven blogger Anissa Zajac. Following package directions, iron fusible webbing onto wool felt. Cut out two arcs and eight rectangles for the lashes, and a heart for a mouth. Peel the paper backing off the shapes and create your face. Lay a damp cloth on top to protect the felt, then iron again to bind the fabrics together. Sweet dreams!

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solutions

Beach-Trip Hacks by Elle Walker (right) of What’s Up Moms

Say hello to your family room’s new hero! Crypton Home has partnered with Pottery Barn to bring you super-durable, stain-resistant textiles. Often used in hospitals, Crypton fabrics can repel even the toughest drips and dribbles. You can outfit any piece of fabric-covered furniture at Pottery Barn with the line; it comes in seven neutral shades of linen and canvas. Starting at $149

Clean out your stuff with one of these free apps.

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OfferUp allows you to snap a pic of your sellable item, post it, and wait for customers in your area to contact you. All app users have ratings, so you can see who will be a reliable buyer. Available for iOS and Android

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KidsTrade lets kids swap toys with classmates by connecting students who are registered at the same school. After agreeing on a trade, kids must meet up IRL to make it happen. Available for iOS and Android

Store plastic bags for trash and wet bathing suits in an old wipes container so they’re easy to dispense. Lay a fitted sheet upside down and fill the corners with bags and shoes. The sheet will stay put, and less sand will end up on your belongings.

➜ Instead of Hosting a Garage Sale ...

VarageSale connects you with residents in your community to buy or sell used items. Members sign up with Facebook, so you can see the buyer’s name and photo. Available for iOS and Android

Save cooler space by using edible ice packs, such as frozen cut grapes, water bottles, or yogurt tubes.

Close5 is a hyper-local app from eBay that allows you to list items with or without a price so buyers can give you their best offer. Keep your sales nearby with a search radius as close as 1 mile. Available for iOS and Android

When you’re swimming, stow your valuables discreetly in an empty Pringles container or a diaper that’s labeled “dirty.” An oldie but goodie: Sprinkle baby powder on your skin to wipe away lingering sand.

What’s Up Moms and Parents contributing editors Brooke Mahan, Meg Resnikoff, and Elle Walker take turns sharing their best mom tips and tricks on this page. See more of them by logging on to whatsupmoms.com or subscribing to their YouTube channel.

TOP LEFT: COURTESY OF POTTERY BARN. RIGHT: COURTESY OF WHAT’S UP MOMS.

➞ Kid-Proof Your Next Couch

My three kids love the beach, but the idea of packing all the family’s supplies (not to mention bringing home all that sand) makes me break into a cold sweat. With these beachday tips, I can sit back and relax — well, almost !

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money smarts

joy rides AMERICANS parked a record 17.5 million new vehicles in their driveways last year. Looking to join them? Parents is here to help. Together with Edmunds.com, the destination for car shopping, we’ve

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BEST FAMILY CARS 2016 by LAWRENCE ULRICH

selected the 10 cars on the following pages. They are standouts in their class, blessed with style, substance, driver- and kid-friendly features, and lots of bang for the buck (three start under $20K). Whether you

have a new baby or a carload of grade-schoolers to chauffeur to soccer practice, you’ll find a model with the size, capabilities, and price you need to keep your family on the move—and the ride fun.

photograph by AARON DYER

PROP STYLING BY RANDI BROOKMAN HARRIS.

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money smarts

Best budget vehicle

Best green car

Best hatchback

Kia Soul

Chevrolet Volt

Mazda 3

Starts at $15,800

Starts at $25,720 (after $7,500 federal tax credit)

Starts at $18,545

MPG 24 city/30 highway

The Soul’s smart design and great value make it an ideal starter model. Its cabin includes niceties such as six speakers with dash-mounted tweeters, Bluetooth, steering-wheel audio controls, and a 60/40 splitfolding rear seat. We prefer the Soul+ ($19,300), which has a larger 2.0-liter engine that adds 34 useful horsepower. That version also includes an 8-inch navigation screen and the Uvo eServices system, which links smartphone apps such as Pandora to the onboard display, keeping Taylor Swift at your kids’ beck and call. Despite its tiny footprint and playful ride, the Soul loves to pretend it’s an SUV: Folding the split rear seats creates cavernous cargo space, while the soaring roof swallows tall, bulky gear with ease.

Faster, roomier, less expensive, and more efficient than its predecessor, the redesigned Volt is a tour de force. This plug-in hybrid can now travel up to 53 miles on a single charge (about a 40 percent gain), meaning parents with a modest commute can do a daily round trip without ever filling up. But it’s no mere novelty: This sleek vehicle switches to gas operation automatically and boasts a fuel range of up to 420 miles, making lengthy road trips possible. And the comfortable ride supports such ventures, provided your bags fit into the modest-size trunk and you have no more than two kids in back (the rear-center perch is tight).

—Michelle Hasbrouck; Sacramento, California

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Insurance Institute for Highway Safety 2016 Top Safety Pick

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“The Soul is perfect for a small family. I have full-size car seats installed for my twin girls, and yet there’s still ample room between them for toys and books. Plus, I like how smooth and maneuverable it is to drive.”

car key

MPG 30 city/41 highway

MPG equivalent combined 106 on electricity; 43 city/42 highway on gas only

Insurance Institute for Highway Safety 2016 Top Safety Pick +

This hatch has international flair: Italian curves, German handling, and the practicality you’d expect from a Japanese maker (no squeezing to install car seats). The 2016 version includes a rearview camera, as well as Mazda’s dashmounted infotainment system with 7-inch touchscreen. Fold the split 60/40 rear seats and it holds a ginormous Costco run. Few models in this class have comparable safety options, including a $2,600 package (available on the $25,445 Grand Touring’s trim) that features radar-based cruise control so you don’t trail too closely; lane-departure and forward-obstruction warning systems; and Smart City Brake Support (which automatically applies the brakes at low speeds if a collision is imminent).

“I love the Mazda 3’s handling and acceleration, and it’s absolutely great on gas. The hatchback has plenty of room for storage. And my 7-year-old thinks it’s sporty and awesome.” —Kelli Rogers; Live Oak, Florida

Passenger capacity

Car-seat capacity

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RASPBERRY SHORTCAKE FROM YOUR PATIO We are pleased to offer this dwarf Raspberry variety with full size berries. The carefree, compact shape means no big garden spaces are required. BrazelBerries® Raspberry Shortcake™ grows to a height of 3’ making it perfect for compact spaces or container gardening, requiring no staking. Plants are self-pollinating, sending out lots of new canes that produce more midseason fruit every year. Plus there are no thorns to get in your way! Ships in a 1 gallon pot at the proper planting time for your hardiness zone. Recommended for zones 5–9. Item MM004721, $24.95 each plus shipping.

shrub makes it especially appropriate for growing in containers and along the edges of sunny borders in the landscape. Ships in a 1 gallon pot at the proper planting time for your hardiness zone. Recommended for zones 5–10. Item MM068424, $31.95 each plus shipping.

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money smarts

Best small sedan

Best sedan

Best wagon

Honda Civic

Kia Optima

Subaru Outback

Starts at $18,640

Starts at $21,990

Starts at $24,995

MPG 31 city/41 highway

MPG 25 city/37 highway

MPG 25 city/33 highway

The reworked Civic is a blast to drive, with enhanced handling and plenty of pizzazz. Its slope-roofed body wraps a decidedly richer and more accommodating cabin. The lower windshield provides outstanding driver visibility. Even the base model includes a rearview camera with three viewing angles. You’ll appreciate the extra-large center console, while your kids will like the fold-down cup holders in back. The new continuously variable automatic transmission boosts the fuel economy. And an extra $1,000 nets you Honda’s impressive safety suite, including adaptive cruise control, forward-collision and lane-departure warnings, and more.

Who said a family car has to be boring? The refreshed Optima is striking inside and out, with sleek lines, pleasing ergonomics, smart controls, a smooth ride, and enhanced fuel efficiency. Even the base model includes a rearview camera and remote keyless entry. This sedan has both Apple CarPlay and Android Auto, which integrate your smartphone with the Uvo eServices infotainment system via voice, screen, or steering-wheel controls. Consider springing for the EX version (an extra $3,000), which has dual-zone temperature control, heated front seats to combat frosty mornings, woodgrain interior accents, and a push-button start.

Wagons may seem out of fashion, but this one offers key advantages over most crossovers, from its excellent handling in ice and snow to its top fuel economy to its lower step-in height. All-wheel drive and 8.7 inches of ground clearance make the Outback game for every type of family adventure. And it feels deluxe, with a rear-vision camera, a tilt/ telescoping steering wheel, and vacation-ready roof rails. Opt for the 2.5i Limited version ($30,395) for a package that includes blind-spot detection, a rear cross-traffic alert, pre-collision braking, and adaptive cruise control—not to mention rear climate control and reclining heated rear seats that keep your kids happy.

the dope from a former car dealer Matt Jones spent a dozen years selling vehicles at Southern California dealerships and is now a senior editor at Edmunds.com. He offers this smart advice. 1. Do your homework. Armed with information such as Edmunds’ True Market Value—which tells you what other people are paying—you’ll be able to negotiate a better deal. 2. Go for a spin. Remarkably, some people buy a new vehicle without

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climbing behind the wheel. No matter how good the reviews or what your neighbor says, take a test-drive.

least familiarize yourself with other sedans and maybe even try out a competitor or two to be sure you’re still sold on it.

3. Expand your horizons. You may plan to simply replace your old Accord with a brand-new version. Fine. But you should at

4. Trust your instinct. If you don’t like the salespeople, shop farther afield; your warranty will be valid at your local dealer.

5. Be nice. It’s not as simple as it sounds, especially when you’re stressed about a big purchase. “If I’ve got one customer barking orders and another being pleasant, guess who I’ll give the best deal to?” asks Jones. “Get the salesperson on your side, and let him go to bat for you.”

FROM LEFT: COURTESY OF HONDA; COURTESY OF KIA; COURTESY OF SUBARU.

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money smarts

Best crossovers

Hyundai Tucson

Nissan Murano

Starts at $22,700

Starts at $29,660

MPG 23 city/31 highway

MPG 21 city/28 highway

If you’re in the market for a do-it-all crossover, put the Tucson on your list. Shapely and sculpted, it has a tranquil ride and a refined, spacious interior. Your kids can stretch out and kick back, thanks to the clever two-stage reclining seats and best-in-class rear legroom. For parents whose hands are always full, the Tucson offers an innovative tailgate that swings up automatically when you approach with the key in your pocket. Move up to the Limited version ($29,900), and you’ll get 19-inch sport alloy wheels, leather seats, an 8-inch touchscreen navigation system, and an optional $2,750 safety package that includes hill-descent control, lane-change assist, and blind-spot monitors.

Despite its whimsical appearance, the redesigned Murano is a serious family vehicle. The tranquil cabin has terrific passenger and cargo space, including super-comfy contoured rear seats that kids—and even adults—will appreciate. All models except the base include an 8-inch touchscreen. An optional Around View monitor (standard on all models beginning with the $37,950 SL) provides 360-degree camera views that make parking a breeze, along with a moving-object detector that chimes if a pedestrian darts into your path as you’re pulling out. A V6 engine supplies excellent pickup, the continuously variable automatic transmission improves the mpg, and the buttersoft ride and utter lack of cabin noise ensures that your little one’s nap won’t be disturbed on the drive.

“The Tucson feels powerful when that’s needed but comfortable and refined the rest of the time. The mileage is better than what’s listed, the brakes are reliable, and our car seats fit well. We haven’t found anything to complain about.” —Tyler Thacker; Clinton, Iowa

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Crossovers—vehicles built on a car platform but with the high seating and extra ground clearance of an SUV—are the hottest-selling family models, so it’s no surprise that new smaller versions are hitting the road. Still, this latest group is different: The Buick Encore, Chevrolet Trax, Mazda CX-3, Honda HR-V, Nissan Juke, and Jeep Renegade are closer in size and space to compact cars (on which they are based) than to miniaturized SUVs. Consider the $19,215 Honda HR-V. While it lists for $4,530 less than a CR-V crossover, the interior space is in line with that of the Fit hatchback—which not only offers nimbler handling and significantly better gas mileage (33/41 mpg vs. 28/35 mpg) but also starts at $3,325 less. Still, for many parents shopping for a car, the math doesn’t matter: A crossover, however scaled down, beats a traditional sedan. If the extra height and all-wheel drive option give you greater confidence behind the wheel, buying one of these mini crossovers might be a smart move. But be sure to bring your car seats, suitcases, and kids to the test-drive to ensure that it meets your family’s needs.

FROM LEFT: COURTESY OF HYUNDAI; COURTESY OF NISSAN.

read this before you buy a “mini crossover”

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money smarts

Best minivan

Best SUV

Toyota Sienna

Honda Pilot

Starts at $28,850

Starts at $30,145

MPG 18 city/25 highway

MPG 19 city/27 highway

runners-up Volvo XC90 Starts at $43,950 MPG 22 city/26 highway

It’s a splurge, but the XC90’s Scandinavian style, peerless safety, and great mpg for its class have helped it rack up awards (including Motor Trend SUV of the year).

Mazda CX-5 Starts at $21,795 MPG 26 city/33 highway

This compact crossover SUV delivers tremendous family utility and frugal mileage, not to mention striking good looks and confident handling.

Ford Escape Starts at $23,600 MPG 23 city/30 highway

The inviting cabin, markedly improved infotainment interface (Sync 3), footactivated power liftgate, and outstanding cargo space make this crossover stand out.

Honda Accord Starts at $22,205 MPG 23 city/34 highway

A perennial sedan fave, it offers sophisticated handling and an airy interior. This year’s version includes the Honda Sensing safety-suite option ($1,000) for all trim lines.

The endlessly roomy Sienna stands above its competitors for two reasons: It’s the only one with available all-wheel drive, and the especially user-friendly controls help you stay focused on the road. Its library-quiet cabin makes for a soothing ride, while a powerful V6 supplies quick acceleration. The Limited version (which starts at $41,900) features second-row captain’s chairs with reclining chair–style footrests, along with a rear-seat entertainment system that eliminates bickering by allowing siblings to watch two different media sources at the same time. And if you need to bring the thunder, the optional Driver Easy Speak system broadcasts the driver’s voice through the rear speakers.

The revamped Pilot jumps to the top of the family-size SUV pack. Less boxy, nearly 300 pounds lighter, and more responsive than its predecessor, it sports a peppy V6 that makes short work of freeway on-ramps. The cabin is serene and spacious, with a third row that’s roomy enough for adults; when folded down, it’s almost impossible to fill (though you’ll have fun trying). Generous standards include keyless push-button start, capless fuel filling (which reduces the likelihood of gas getting on your hands), and a multi-angle rearview camera. And the $1,000 Honda Sensing package has every smart safety system you can list, including a steering wheel that vibrates when you veer out of your lane.

Toyota Prius

FROM LEFT: COURTESY OF TOYOTA; COURTESY OF HONDA.

Starts at $24,200 MPG 54 city/50 highway

The all-new Prius sips even less fuel than prior versions. It’s also quieter, with sharper steering, better brakes, and elegant digital dashboard displays.

“The Pilot is sporty but still family-functional. It’s great for traveling with kids thanks to the Blu-ray player, numerous cup holders, heated captain’s chairs, panoramic sunroof, and easy third-row access.” —Bridget Leet; Paducah, Kentucky

ALWAYS READ THE FINE PRINT! Car prices listed are for entry-level trim lines and don’t include destination charges, optional equipment, or other fees. Some photos may represent models with optional equipment. Mileage ratings represent the most fuel-efficient versions of each model and may differ depending on engine and transmission choices. Car-seat estimates are based on our measure of how many would fit comfortably in each vehicle (some models may technically have the capacity for more). Maximum passenger capacity is based on the number of seat belts and includes optional third rows and extra seats. If you made it all the way through this paragraph, you’re sure to make a smart car-buying decision.

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what’s for dinner?

grocery list

Supper is solved! With only one grocery trip and a bit of prep, your weeknights will now go a lot more smoothly. by SUZANNE LENZER ➜ MONDAY

Chicken Taco Salad Bar Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 10 minutes Makes 4 servings INGREDIENTS

2 2 ¼ ⅛ 1 1 2 1 ¾ ¾

Tbs. vegetable oil Tbs. lime juice, or to taste tsp. ground cumin tsp. salt Freshly ground black pepper, to taste head romaine lettuce, shredded 15-oz. can reduced-sodium black beans, drained and rinsed plum tomatoes, chopped avocado, peeled, seeded, and chopped cup shredded cheddar cheese cup crushed tortilla chips

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¼ cup sliced pickled jalapeños (optional) 1½ cups weekend-prepped shredded chicken MAKE IT

1. In a small bowl whisk together the oil, lime juice, cumin, salt, and pepper to taste. 2. Place remaining ingredients except for chicken in separate serving bowls. Assemble individual salads with desired ingredients. Top each serving with chicken and drizzle with lime dressing. NUTRITION PER SERVING 449 calories; 29g protein; 26g fat (7g sat. fat); 33g carbs; 9g fiber; 3g sugar; 4mg iron; 252mg calcium; 671mg sodium

PANTRY ITEMS Ground cumin,

light-brown sugar, olive oil, vegetable oil, salt, pepper

weekend prep 1. Tear meat from chicken; discard skin and bones. Refrigerate meat in a zip-top bag. 2. Make chickpea paste: Drain and rinse chickpeas. Puree with 1 Tbs. olive oil, 1 clove garlic, 1 Tbs. lemon juice, and ⅛ tsp. each cumin and salt until smooth. Refrigerate.

photographs by YUNHEE KIM

FOOD STYLING BY SIMON ANDREWS. PROP STYLING BY EMILY RICKARD.

5 easy meals

6 oz. pad Thai rice noodles 1 15-oz. can chickpeas 1 15-oz. can reduced-sodium black beans 1 small bottle fish sauce ¼ cup salted peanuts 1 bag tortilla chips ¼ cup pickled jalapeños (optional) 1 6-oz. can pitted black olives 1 16-oz. box penne pasta 1 6-oz. jar marinated artichokes 1 small jar Cajun seasoning 1 lemon 3 or 4 limes 1 head napa cabbage 3 medium carrots 2 heads romaine lettuce 10 plum tomatoes 1 avocado 1 head garlic 1 cucumber 1 5-oz. container baby arugula 1½ lbs. russet potatoes Cilantro (optional) 3 oz. shredded cheddar cheese 1 oz. grated Parmesan cheese (optional) 2 large eggs 8 oz. plain low-fat Greek yogurt (optional) 1 pkg. Greek pita flatbreads 1 rotisserie chicken 8 oz. ground lamb 1 lb. beef skirt steak ¼ lb. thinly sliced prosciutto

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what’s for dinner?

Chopped cashews are a tasty substitute for peanuts.

➜ TUESDAY

Chicken Pad Thai Active Time 25 minutes Total Time 35 minutes Makes 6 servings INGREDIENTS

6 oz. dry pad Thai rice noodles 3 Tbs. fresh lime juice, plus wedges for serving 2 Tbs. fish sauce 2 Tbs. packed light-brown sugar 2 Tbs. vegetable oil 6 cups coarsely shredded napa cabbage 1 cup coarsely shredded carrots 2 large eggs, lightly beaten 1½ cups weekend-prepped shredded chicken ¼ cup salted peanuts Fresh cilantro (optional) MAKE IT

NUTRITION PER SERVING 309 calories; 17g protein; 12g fat (2g sat. fat); 34g carbs; 2g fiber; 7g sugar; 1mg iron; 98mg calcium; 750mg sodium

➜ WEDNESDAY

Greek Tostadas Active Time 20 minutes Total Time 30 minutes Makes 4 servings INGREDIENTS

1. Cook noodles according to package directions. Drain and set aside. 2. In a small bowl, combine the lime juice, fish sauce, and brown sugar.

PA R E N T S

3. In a very large nonstick skillet heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the cabbage and carrots. Cook and stir about 2 minutes or until cabbage is lightly wilted. Move the veggies to one side of the pan. Add the eggs and cook, stirring, until scrambled, about 30 seconds. Add the noodles, chicken, and sauce mixture. Cook and stir 1 minute. Serve with peanuts, lime wedges, and cilantro if desired.

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1 8 ½ ¼

tsp. olive oil oz. ground lamb tsp. ground cumin tsp. salt

Freshly ground black pepper 4 whole Greek pita flatbreads, warmed 1 cup weekend-prepped chickpea puree 2 cups shredded romaine lettuce 1 cup chopped plum tomatoes 1 cup chopped cucumber 12 pitted black olives, halved ½ cup Greek yogurt (optional) MAKE IT

1. In a large skillet heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the lamb and cook until browned, stirring to break up the meat as it cooks, about 5 minutes. Drain fat. Season with cumin, salt, and pepper to taste. 2. Spread each pita with ¼ cup of the chickpea puree. Top with the lamb mixture, lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, olives, and a dollop of Greek yogurt if desired. NUTRITION PER SERVING 498 calories; 23g protein; 21g fat (7g sat. fat); 56g carbs; 9g fiber; 6g sugar; 5mg iron; 63mg calcium; 885mg sodium

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what’s for dinner?

Letting the steak rest for ten minutes before slicing makes for juicier meat.

➜ THURSDAY

Cajun Skirt Steak With Oven Fries Active Time 25 minutes Total Time 45 minutes Makes 4 servings INGREDIENTS

1½ lbs. russet potatoes, peeled and cut into small wedges 3 Tbs. vegetable oil, divided ¼ tsp. plus ⅛ tsp. salt, divided Freshly ground pepper to taste 1 lb. beef skirt steak 1 Tbs. Cajun seasoning 1 5-oz. container baby arugula MAKE IT

1. Put a shallow baking pan in the oven and preheat oven to 425°F. In a large bowl, toss the potatoes with 2 Tbs. of the oil, ¼ tsp. salt, and pepper to taste. When the oven is hot, carefully transfer the potatoes to the baking sheet in an even layer. Bake for 25 minutes. Turn and bake 5 minutes more or until browned and tender.

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2. Season steak with Cajun seasoning. In a very large skillet heat 1 Tbs. oil over medium-high heat. Add the steak and cook, turning once, 6 to 8 minutes for medium doneness. Remove the steak and let it rest. 3. While the pan is still hot, add the arugula. Cook until just wilted. Season with ⅛ tsp. salt and pepper to taste. Serve the steak thinly sliced with the potatoes and greens. NUTRITION PER SERVING 416 calories; 28g protein; 21g fat (5g sat. fat); 32g carbs; 3g fiber; 2g sugar; 4mg iron; 85mg calcium; 493mg sodium

➜ FRIDAY

Prosciutto Penne Active Time 15 minutes Total Time 30 minutes Makes 4 servings INGREDIENTS

Salt 8 oz. penne pasta 2 Tbs. olive oil

1 lb. plum tomatoes, coarsely chopped Freshly ground pepper, to taste 1 6-oz. jar marinated artichokes, drained and sliced 4 slices prosciutto, torn into bite-size pieces Freshly grated Parmesan cheese (optional) MAKE IT

1. In a large pot of lightly salted boiling water, cook the penne according to package directions. Drain and set aside. 2. In a large skillet heat the olive oil over medium heat. Add the tomatoes and season with pepper to taste. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 6 to 8 minutes or until tomatoes have broken down. Add the artichokes and prosciutto. Heat through. Stir in the pasta. Serve topped with Parmesan cheese if desired. NUTRITION PER SERVING 337 calories; 12g protein; 10g fat (1g sat. fat); 49g carbs; 4g fiber; 6g sugar; 3mg iron; 47mg calcium; 730mg sodium

ages+stages.

STEPHANIE RAUSSER/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

A D V I C E A S YO U R C H I L D G R O W S

“I’m working on my roar.” — ”I Just Can’t Wait to Be King,” The Lion King J U LY 2 0 1 6

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pregnancy

PREGNANCY

creating a birth plan Before the big day arrives, it’s helpful to consider how you’d like it to go. by ASHLEY NICHOLS GUTTUSO

in mind that some requests may be at odds with hospital or insurance rules, in which case you’ll need to adjust accordingly. “We once had a patient who wanted candles and incense, which is against policy,” says Carole Kramer Arsenault, R.N., author of The Baby Nurse Bible. Unfortunately, “she didn’t review protocols before her delivery, and it led to a negative experience for her.”

reduce the number of interruptions by requesting limited internal exams and intermittent fetal monitoring, as long as it’s safe, explains Glenna Hendricks, M.D., an ob-gyn at St. Francis Family Medicine Center in Midlothian, Virginia. Note if you wish to try a nontraditional position for pushing—such as squatting—and whether you want someone to position a mirror for you to see your baby’s arrival. Sometimes an episiotomy (an incision in the perineum) is needed to facilitate delivery if the fetus is in distress. If you’d rather not have one, write in your birth plan that you’d prefer to risk having a vaginal tear. Most doctors now follow the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists policy of restricting the use of episiotomies.

ALL MOMS have the same end goal when it comes to delivery: bringing their baby into the world safely. However, that doesn’t mean they all want the same birth experience. Perhaps you’d like a water birth—or maybe you already know you’ll opt for drugs. “Discussing a plan with your health-care provider can be a great way to clear up any misconceptions and prepare for labor,” says Laura Riley, M.D., an ob-gyn and a Parents advisor. Write your plan at around 30 weeks so you have time to share it with your doctor. There’s no reason for the task to feel overwhelming; even if you just consider the five factors below, you’ll be ready when your first contraction hits. And remember: It’s critical to trust your doctor’s judgment and recognize that what you write down may not be what has to happen in the moment, says Dr. Riley, author of You & Your Baby: Pregnancy. You should also speak up and alter your plan, if you wish, at any point in the process.

During labor and delivery, you may be advised to use medication to move things along or to decrease your pain level. If you’d prefer to deliver drug-free, specify it in your birth plan, says Dr. Riley. If you want or are open to an epidural, mention this too. Also consider whether you would be willing to receive a shortacting narcotic, such as Demerol, that takes the edge off pain but may make you and your baby sleepy. Of course, there’s no shame in accepting medication even if you initially intended to skip it.

If you require a C-section for medical reasons, you can still make a few personal requests. For instance, your partner can usually join you in the operating room, and some doctors are happy to momentarily lower the drape so you can see your baby right away, says Dr. Hendricks. If you’re concerned that your doctor will recommend a C-section when it’s not absolutely needed, discuss the reasons in advance. If your cervix isn’t dilating enough or the baby stops moving down the birth canal, you may be able to wait things out for a while.

➜ Setting the Scene

➜ Taking Precautions

➜ Bonding Time

Write down all your preferences for establishing the mood, such as low lighting or a special playlist. Keep

As the hours pass, your dilation and the baby’s heart rate will be monitored. You may be able to

The events that occur right after delivery are often flexible as long as you and your baby are doing well. If you want skin-to-skin contact for the first half hour, remind your doctor and nurses during labor, suggests Arsenault. You don’t get a do-over for these precious moments, so make sure everybody’s on the same page in advance. ❾

➜ Debating Drugs

Check out our week-by-week pregnancy podcast! You can download it for free at parents .com/pregnancyconfidential. PA R E N T S

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➜ Possible Surgery

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baby

BABY 0-12 months

hello, sunshine! Your infant’s sensitive skin needs extra protection this time of year. by JENNIFER RAINEY MARQUEZ

I COME FROM a fair-skinned family and I live in the South, where summertime lasts about six months. So when my older daughter was born, I was relieved that she’d inherited my husband’s darker-toned skin; I figured at least she wouldn’t look like a lobster if I missed a spot with the sunscreen. But I soon learned that I actually needed to be just as diligent with her darker skin as I am with my own pale complexion. Sunburn isn’t the only summer skin issue that parents need to worry about, though. “Babies have sensitive skin in general, so they can be more affected by the heat,” says Kate Püttgen, M.D., director of the division of pediatric dermatology at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, in Baltimore. Below, the best ways to prevent and treat common warm-weather woes.

➜ Sunburn For babies under 6 months old, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends avoiding direct sunlight entirely—think umbrellas, hats, and lightweight long sleeves and pants. Covering your baby is better than applying sunscreen at this age. “In the early months, infants may be more likely to have an adverse skin reaction,” explains Dr. Püttgen. However, if you have a beach trip planned and can’t realistically keep him under wraps the entire time, it’s okay to use sunscreen on any of his exposed skin. “For a 4or 5-month-old, it’s better to use

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sunscreen than for him to burn,” says Dr. Püttgen. Reapply every two hours, and after bringing him in the water or drying him off. In this case, choose a physical sunscreen (scan the label for the words zinc oxide or titanium dioxide), which are less likely to cause irritation than so-called chemical sunscreens. If your baby does get too pink, you can usually soothe him at home with aloe or moisturizer, says Dr. Püttgen. But call your doctor if there’s blistering or if your baby is lethargic or running a fever—these could be signs of an infection, sunstroke, or severe dehydration.

➜ Heat Rash Also known as prickly heat, these bumps can erupt in areas where your baby sweats a lot, such as the folds of her skin. This happens when the sweat glands are blocked, a common occurrence with babies who are dressed too warmly or who spend a lot of time snug in a carrier or car seat, says Kara Shah, M.D., medical director of pediatric dermatology at Cincinnati Children’s. The rash can be itchy and uncomfortable, although it usually looks worse than it feels.

Babies have sensitive skin, so they are often affected by heat.

To prevent prickly heat or to stop it from getting worse, dress your baby lightly in natural fabrics—such as cotton or silk—to keep her from sweating too much. When you’re outside on a hot or humid day, make sure she doesn’t stay in one position for too long. And to help speed the healing process, apply a creamy moisturizer on the affected area. Just stay away from a thick ointmentbased one, which can sometimes make the rash worse.

➜ Insect Bites In the summertime, mosquitos are one of the most common nibbling offenders, and it’s especially important to protect your baby from them now that the Zika virus is spreading. Try to keep his arms and legs covered when you’re in buggy areas, and avoid soaps or lotions that contain fragrance, which can attract the critters. If it’s too hot for pants and long sleeves, use an insect repellent with DEET. Be careful not to spray it around your child’s face, and wash your hands and your baby’s hands after application. When used as directed, DEET with a 10 to 30 percent concentration is safe for children over 2 months of age, according to the AAP. However, you should avoid over-applying, warns Dr. Shah. “When used more often than recommended, it can cause headaches, irritability, or nausea,” she says. For a baby under 2 months, your best bet is to keep him covered with a net or a muslin blanket when he’s in a stroller. After a bite, consult with your pediatrician if you see two or more of these symptoms: fever, rash, or red eyes. If your child just seems itchy, try easing his symptoms with hydrocortisone cream or calamine lotion. Scratching can sometimes cause the bite to become infected, so make sure you keep an eye on it. ❾

The power of hugs.

What hugs mean to baby. Over 600 medical studies on the effects of human touch prove what moms have always known: Hugs are important. In fact, more and more hospitals will tell you they are vital to the healthy development of your child. And the benefits of human touch for babies often extend throughout childhood.

The benefits of hugging. Every hug with your baby sets off cascades of hormones that benefit health and help regulate body temperature. Oxytocin, the hormone released by touch, is even nicknamed the “bonding hormone.” A hug can stabilize their heart rate, increase oxygen levels, strengthen the immune system, and reduce crying and stress.

How will you greet your baby? After your first hug, let the second thing that touches your baby’s skin feel just as good. New Huggies® Little Snugglers Diapers and Huggies Natural Care® Wipes provide our best care to help keep their skin clean and healthy. And as perfect as the day they were born. Huggies.com/DearBaby ® Registered Trademark and * Trademark of Kimberly-Clark Worldwide, Inc. © KCWW. © Disney. Based on the “Winnie the Pooh” works by A.A. Milne and E.H. Shepard.

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toddler

➜ Make sticking around fun.

TODDLER 1-2 years

escape artists Does your kid hightail it every chance he gets? Try these tips to keep him close. by TAMEKIA REECE

ONCE your child masters walking (and running), getting him to stay near you becomes an almost impossible task. In the mall, at the park, on the sidewalk—whenever there’s an opportunity, he’ll bolt as fast as he can. While toddlers love to show off their new speediness, there’s another reason they tend to flee: “Running away lets them assert their independence and say, ‘I’m me. I can do what I want,’ ” says David Elkind, Ph.D., author of Parenting on the Go. Still, your child’s constant getaway attempts can be both tiring and frightening. Our advice will help put the brakes on your little sprinter.

➜ Set ground rules. Don’t bother to explain why wandering off is dangerous; your toddler won’t be able to understand anyway, says Adelle Cadieux, Psy.D., a pediatric psychologist at Helen DeVos Children’s Hospital, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Instead, let her know what you expect from her during an outing. As you’re driving to the library, for instance, you can say, “When I open your door, we’re going to hold hands, stay on the sidewalk, and go straight into the library, got it?” Wait for her to agree. Of course, toddlers tend to forget the rules and dart off anyway when they see something interesting (like a bird splashing in a puddle), so you may have to remind her several times. Be sure to heap on the praise when she cooperates. Making your child

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feel good about her positive actions means she’s more likely to repeat them, says Dr. Cadieux.

➜ Give the right commands. If your kid runs off giggling toward a busy street, your natural reaction may be to yell, “Stop!” But a toddler may be confused about which behavior you want him to cease: running, laughing, or looking back at you. Instead, “Call his name first, because a toddler is more likely to recognize it and respond to whatever command follows,” says psychologist Stephanie Mihalas, Ph.D., founder of The Center for Well-Being in Los Angeles. Then be specific about what you want him to do: “Jacob, stop running. Walk back to Mommy.” You can also try reversing the chase to divert his attention. “If you’re in a safe area and your child takes off, you can say, ‘Uh-oh, Mommy’s running away from you now. You’d better get her,’ ” suggests Dr. Cadieux. Try doing a slow, animated jog. Then let him catch up and grab your leg. Make a big deal about how he “caught” you (“Wow, you ran so fast!”).

When it’s possible (and safe), let your child explore to build his sense of independence.

Sometimes toddlers run off simply because they’re bored. When you’re doing something routine like grocery shopping, be prepared. “Take along a picture book or a toy as well as a snack and some water,” says Dr. Elkind. Engage your child too: Point out interesting objects, play a color-hunt game, or sing interactive songs such as “If You’re Happy and You Know It” or “B-I-N-G-O.” Kids this age also get a thrill out of helping, so put your toddler to work by assigning her a job like grabbing lightweight items from the lower shelves at the supermarket.

➜ Allow him some space. If your child is constantly by your side, he’s stuck doing what you do. So when it’s possible (and safe), let him explore to build his sense of independence. “Having some freedom is important because toddlers need to take in new information and process it for themselves,” says Dr. Mihalas. At the park, give him permission to wander ahead and look around. If you allow him to satisfy his curiosity this way, he may be less resistant when you need him to stay close.

➜ Use a stroller when necessary. When you’re in a busy or an unsafe area, it makes sense to insist on using a stroller. Pack some portable playthings to make the ride more fun, says Dr. Elkind. If your toddler puts up a fuss because she wants to walk, you may be tempted to try a harness or a leash. That’s your call: Some childhood experts believe these are demeaning and don’t teach self-control, while others say they’re perfectly fine. Fortunately, your child’s make-a-run-for-it phase won’t last forever. Like many other quirky toddler behaviors, it will likely fade away around age 3. ❾

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preschooler

PRESCHOOLER 3-4 years

gender benders Little kids don’t grasp society’s stereotypes about pink vs. blue. Help your child express his or her individuality without judgment. by HAGAR SCHER

SEVERAL YEARS ago, when my son was 3, I signed him up for a soccer team. At first, he was thrilled with his shiny uniform. But after three practices, Pele sat down and announced, “No soccer. Dance class!” With a little searching, we found a modern-dance program for kids his age. Pele was the only boy in the room, but he didn’t care—he was too busy twirling in the black leggings he had picked out from Gap’s girls’ department. While it’s not always easy, there’s something rewarding about raising a child like Pele, who—armed with purple sneakers and a teddy bear named Ella the Boy—embodies the idea that gender can be a spectrum. “Every individual has a unique gender self, an inside knowledge of who he or she is,” says Diane Ehrensaft, Ph.D.,

author of The Gender Creative Child: Pathways for Nurturing and Supporting Children Who Live Outside Gender Boxes. “Each person also has a distinct set of gender expressions that they present to the world. These grow out of a mix of nature, nurture, and culture, and can change throughout one’s life span.” These expert-approved tips will help you encourage your child to be happy and comfortable in his or her own skin.

➜ Understand child development. You may be curious about your child’s interest in toys, activities, or clothes that you align with the opposite sex, but kids don’t make those kinds of associations at this age. They haven’t learned that certain

objects and activities are culturally associated with gender. In fact, preschoolers tend to believe gender is something that can be slipped on and off like a tutu or a fireman’s hat. “Kids under the age of 6 don’t seem to grasp the concept of gender constancy—that gender doesn’t change because of superficial changes in appearance or behavior,” says Judith Elaine Blakemore, Ph.D., professor of psychology at IndianaPurdue University and coauthor of Gender Development. “When I show kids this age a drawing of ‘Jeffrey’ dressed in typical boy clothes and then another of ‘Jeffrey’ wearing a dress, many of them will say he’s a boy in the first picture and a girl in the second.”

➜ Keep an open mind. If your child’s behavior differs from gender norms, you may have mixed emotions about that. And it may be challenging to let go of your previous assumptions about your child. “When my younger son, Dyson, began putting on my jewelry and wandering into the girls’ aisle at the store, I started redirecting him toward blue and trucks,” says Cheryl Kilodavis, author of My Princess Boy, a picture book. “Though I consider myself

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open-minded, I couldn’t get away from the mind-set that this is not what boys do.” Remember that your child is growing and trying on interesting new identities even when she is young (such as “I’m a fireman!” or “I’m Beyoncé!”). “My advice to parents is: Relax,” says Parents advisor Wendy Mogel, Ph.D., author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee. “Wait and see whom you are given. Then cherish that child. This will take time. Until then, don’t assume today’s snapshot of your child is an epic movie of her life.”

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child? “When a child’s cross-gender behavior and declarations are consistent, persistent, and insistent, you should pay careful attention, because she’s telling you something important about herself,” says Dr. Ehrensaft. For example, she frequently expresses that she is or wishes to be a boy and won’t listen to those who try to “correct” her. In that case, you may want to consult with a pediatric mentalhealth gender specialist or get information from Gender Spectrum (genderspectrum.org) or TransYouth Family Allies (imatyfa.org). ❾

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➜ Prepare yourself for rude comments. You might want to come up with responses ahead of time, so you’re prepared in case a stranger or a well-meaning relative makes a remark. It’s possible you’ll need to discuss with your child the fact that his choices may be surprising to some people and that they may say things that are inconsiderate. “Wait for the first bad moment to have this conversation so you don’t plant feelings of shame in your child,” says Dr. Ehrensaft. “Be supportive and matter-of-fact, by saying something like, ‘That dress looks beautiful, but some people don’t understand why you’re wearing it and they might say mean things.’ ” Practice possible responses for when someone confronts him, such as, “Most boys don’t wear dresses, but some do.” And if you’re concerned about bullying, talk to your child’s teachers and to other parents. Ultimately, your goal is to show him that you have his back, even when he’s wearing costume fairy wings in the grocery store.

➜ Know when you need to consult an expert. So how can you tell if something more might be going on with your

SCHOOL-AGE 5-6 years

power struggles Try these levelheaded ways to avoid everyday battles. by AMELIA RICHARDSON DRESS

IT SEEMED like a reasonable thing to ask my 5-year-old daughter to set the table. I even asked nicely: “Honey, it’s about time for dinner. Can you set the table, please?” But instead of a chipper “Sure, Mama!” or even a grudging “Fine,” Belle responded with a loud “No!”—which sent my blood pressure skyrocketing and launched us into a prolonged back-and-forth. Despite my efforts to set firm limits, we had been having a lot more of these moments. “Parents often worry that power struggles are a sign that they’re not parenting right,” said Jim Stokes, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Child

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& Family Counseling Center in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. “But being insistent is your child’s way of learning to be her own person.” Follow these expert strategies to help you maintain control.

➜ Encourage his independence. Your child wants to express his individuality by making his own choices, so try understanding his resistance. If you want him to do his homework right after school but he wants to do it later, ask him why. Is he hungry? Does he need a break first? Approach the situation as an opportunity to problem-solve with your child. In the case of homework, you might agree to a 20-minute break before diving in, but no screen time. Since he’s participated in the decision-making process, he’ll be more likely to agree to the boundaries that have been set. Look for various ways to empower your child’s growing need for autonomy. “Let him have control over other things like which cereal to have for breakfast or what clothes to wear,” says Laura Goodman, a licensed parent coach at Boost Parenting, in Duluth, Minnesota. Letting him have a say in some parts of his day may make it easier when it’s time for you to make the decisions.

➜ Pay attention to emotional triggers. When your kid picks a fight, it’s not always a sign of strength. “Everyone is susceptible to stress, including children,” says Dr. Stokes. “If your child is tired, hungry, or overstimulated,

“Being insistent is your child’s way of learning to be her own person.” PA R E N T S

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she will be more likely to resist when you ask her to do something.” If you have to go grocery shopping on the way home from picking her up from school, you can predict she’ll fuss because she’s tired from a long day. Dr. Stokes recommends acknowledging how she’s feeling by saying something like, “I know you’re tired but I have to run this errand now. I’ll hurry and then we can go home so you can rest.” Power struggles are also likely to happen during times of transition, such as morning and bedtime. “Your kid can’t always jump from one thing to another,” says Dr. Stokes. She may be reluctant to leave her toys and go to school or might be overwhelmed by the morning rush. Try using humor to lighten the mood or take a quick break for a hug or a back rub.

➜ Consider your own feelings. If your child refuses to clean his room, you might be tempted to threaten to take away the iPad for the week. Regardless of whether you decide to enforce these consequences, try to stay calm; otherwise your child will be more likely to respond heatedly instead of rationally. “Try to identify your own triggers—such as feeling disrespected or unappreciated, or needing to assert authority—that make you initiate a power struggle,” suggests Tracie Giargiari, Ph.D., a psychologist at Thrive Health and Wellness in Longmont, Colorado. “Even if your child is the instigator, the situation changes when you remain calm.” Sometimes, you may just need a five-minute break to decide how to handle the situation. You might say, “Since we’re both upset, let’s talk about this in a few minutes.” When you return to the conversation, you can either come to a solution together or explore the reason for his resistance. ❾

BIG KID 7+ years

social smarts Kids are focused on photos, fans, and followers—like it or not. by MARISA COHEN

WHEN Audrey Slater’s daughter (we’ll call her Katie) was in third grade, she picked up her mom’s phone one day and discovered Instagram. It was love at first sight. “She begged me to let her get her own account,” recalls Slater, of Brooklyn. She resisted at first but finally gave in, and last year at age 9 Katie began posting silly selfies, videos of herself doing cartwheels, and pictures of her dog. “It’s all very age-appropriate and sweet, but I do have to keep a constant eye on her,” says Slater. At ever-younger ages, kids are asking for their own YouTube channel, Instagram account, or even to use Snapchat. Before you say yes, here are some issues to consider.

➜ Decide whether she’s ready. Technically, we shouldn’t even be having this discussion. According to the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act, it’s illegal for commercial websites and apps to allow children under age 13 to open an online account without verifiable parental consent. “The law was created to keep companies from collecting data about kids and marketing to them,” says Stephen Balkam, the founder and CEO of the nonprofit Family Online Safety Institute. Still, most children are savvy enough to get around this rule

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by using a parent’s e-mail and a fake birth date, often with permission. Besides the legal issues, however, there are the concerns about maturity. “At ages 7 to 11, children are still thinking very concretely, and they haven’t yet developed the ability to consider hypothetical situations,” explains Lisa Strohman, Ph.D., founder and director of the Technology Wellness Center and coauthor of Unplug: Raising Kids in a Technology Addicted World. “So an 8-year-old girl posting a video about how to do her hair is just thinking, ‘My friends will see this and it will be great!’ She can’t take that next step and think about who else might watch that video and write mean comments or even repost it and use it to sell hair products.” Still, it’s hard to generalize about the best age to start. “Some kids may be ready to handle social media under the legal age of 13, but most probably can’t,” adds Parents advisor Michael Rich, M.D., director of the Center on Media and Child Health at Boston Children’s Hospital. “You are the best judge of your child. Ask: Can she use it in ways that are healthy and respectful of others?”

➜ Set the ground rules. When you do decide to let your kid make his first foray into social media, approach it as if you’re taking a new swimmer to the adult pool: Go in together at first, and keep a watchful eye on him as he finds his way. Dr. Rich recommends that you join the site yourself (if you’re not on it already) and become familiar with the safety issues and its potential uses before allowing your child to jump in.

Next, make sure you have full access to your child’s account by learning his username and password, and by following him with your own account. “Not only do I follow Katie on Instagram, but so do my husband and sister,” says Slater. “I also go through her list of followers every couple of weeks to make sure they are all people she knows in real life.” (If they’re not, Slater logs in and blocks them.) If your child posts on YouTube, you can ask him to make all his videos “unlisted,” meaning they can only be viewed by people who use a link that he sends them. If they’re posted as “public,” remind him that anyone can view and post nasty or inappropriate comments. Another huge safety issue to keep in mind is geotagging (when a photo is stamped with the location where it was taken): Before you let your kid post, go to the settings on his phone and turn “location services” off. Also, be certain that he knows he can talk to you about anything bad or weird that happens—whether another kid starts bullying him or someone he doesn’t know tries to contact him or ask for personal information. “It’s a conversation you have to begin before you give him the device or let him join the site, and you must keep the discussion going,” says Balkam. Lay down the rules for using technology from the beginning (when and how he’s allowed to use it and specific punishments if he breaks the rules). And as difficult as it will be for your big kid to understand that his actions today can reverberate in the future (such as when he applies for college or a job), stress the “Grandma

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Rule,” says Dr. Rich. “Never post or ‘snap’ anything that you wouldn’t want your grandma to see.”

➜ Help her get a grip on ‘likes.’ As any adult who’s ever posted on social media knows, it’s easy to become preoccupied with how many likes your photo or joke gets, and even the youngest kids are not immune to measuring their selfworth this way. I’ll confess that my daughter, Molly, is constantly checking how many followers she has on her Instagram fan page for the Broadway musical Hamilton (I allowed her to join at age 11). But the joy she gets from posting videos, trivia, and photos and connecting with fans who share her passion has made it a positive experience. However, experts caution that most social media doesn’t revolve around musical passions and deep thoughts but focuses on photos and videos that put the emphasis on looks. “Constantly viewing images that feature appearance, popularity, and even ‘sexiness’ pushes a dangerous message, especially to young girls,” says Michele Borba, Ed.D., author of UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World. “They can buy into the view that what I look like is more important than who I am.” To keep your child’s image from sliding too far into the “look how pretty I am” lane, encourage her to post about books she likes, causes she’s interested in, and positive messages that she’d like to share. Right now, Molly seems content with posting pictures and lyrics from her favorite show (with occasional shots of cute animals on her personal account). But if her social-media excursion ever gets in the way of her schoolwork or she starts posting inappropriate pictures, I’ll know. After all, I am one of her biggest followers, online and in real life. ❾

I can’t believe my child is afraid of...

Bubble Wrap. My daughter runs away from it. —April Hooks

Fuzzy socks on people’s feet. —Angie Fletcher

• • Statues, mannequins, or any inanimate object that looks like a person. • Her shadow. • Puppies. She’s fine with grown dogs, but puppies terrify her. •

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124 J U LY 2 0 1 6 —Terri Ruiz

—Serenity Garretson-Evans

—Amanda Raene Zaragoza

Her belly button. She burst into hysterics trying to brush it off. —Kristin Kohl Wardwell

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illustration by ALEX EBEN MEYER

PARENTS (ISSN 1083-6373); July 2016, Vol. 91, No. 7, is published monthly by Meredith Corporation, 1716 Locust Street, Des Moines, IA 50309-3023. Periodicals postage paid at Des Moines, IA, and at additional mailing offices. Subscription prices, $15.98 per year in the U.S.; $27.00 (U.S. dollars) in Canada; $49.00 (U.S. dollars) overseas. POSTMASTER: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address corrections to Parents, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. In Canada: mailed under Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 40069223; Canadian BN 12348 2887 RT. Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to Parents, 2835 Kew D, Windsor, ON, N8T 3B7. © Meredith Corporation 2016. All rights reserved. Printed in the U.S.A.

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