Parents - February 2017 by Lawrence Ambrocio

healthy kids, happy families

SLAY YOUR DAY PEACEFUL EVENINGS + CALMER MORNINGS CAN BE YOURS!

A HOMEMADE VALENTINE’S DAY! SWEET TREATS CUTE CARDS LOVE ALL AROUND

DANGEROUS HEALTH DECISIONS MORE MOMS ARE MAKING

MOVIES SIBS CAN ENJOY TOGETHER

FEBRUARY 2017 PARENTS.COM

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contents

KIDS 27 Take It Outside A little sunshine brightens everyone’s mood.

28 Health News Use a humidifier the right way, raise chickens safely, convince your toddler to eat meat, and more.

36 Surviving Dr. Facebook Social media is no substitute for your pediatrician. NEW!

42 Project Discipline Tactics to keep her from interrupting

44 Beat the Clock Your kid’s morning and bedtime routines just got faster.

48 True Colors Sweet V-Day treats without artificial red dye

54 Very Useful Valentines Easy cards to make for the whole class

in every issue editor’s letter 10 parents to parents 13 parents last laugh 108

56 Raise a Science Lover Take the subject from blah to aah with these ideas.

62 Baby Bloopers Quirky quotes from kids

FEBRUARY 2017

3 PA R EN T S

february. AGE-BY-AGE GUIDE advice as your child grows

HOME

Pregnancy & Baby 27 32 36 98 100

85 Frame Job The luxe look of wallpaper without the expense

86 Solutions Make your refrigerator more useful, ideas for old nail polish, and more

88 Slow Cooker vs. Pressure Cooker: An Appliance Smackdown!

YOU

Decide which wonder-pot is best for you.

65 Red Alert A lipstick that matches every complexion

66 Passport to Pretty Skin-care secrets from moms across the globe

72 Test Your Nutrition IQ Find out how much you really know about healthy eating.

80 A Rare Condition, a Beautiful Legacy Having kids changed how one woman saw herself.

AGES + STAGES 98 Pregnancy Get relief from tummy problems.

100 Baby Steps to take to keep your preemie healthy

102 Toddler ON THE COVER Courtney Herron-Schweiger and her children: Samantha, 7, and Charley, 4. Photograph by Thayer Allyson Gowdy. Wardrobe styling by Yael Gitai. Prop styling by Helen Crowther. Hair and makeup by Lindsey Williams for Kate Ryan using Bumble & bumble and Charlotte Tilbury. On Courtney: Sweater, Used Unused. Pants, Celine. Sneakers, Nike. On Samantha: Shirt, Stella McCartney. Overalls, Crew Cuts. On Charley: Shirt, Crew Cuts. Pants and jacket, Zara.

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27 Take It Outside 28 How Can I Get My Toddler to Eat Meat? 29 Update on Antidepressants 32 Hazards of Raising Chickens 32 Humidifier Help 36 Surviving Dr. Facebook 42 When Kids Interrupt 44 Beat the Clock 102 Eating Out

27 29 32 32 36 42 44 56 104

Tips for staying on track with your fitness resolution, why you need more vitamin D, and more

48 54 36

Toddler

Preschooler

70 Women’s Health News

Take It Outside Humidifier Help Surviving Dr. Facebook Tummy Troubles Preemie Primer

Set the stage for good behavior at restaurants.

104 Preschool How to encourage shy kids

106 School-Age Keep little liars in check.

Take It Outside Update on Antidepressants Hazards of Raising Chickens Humidifier Help Surviving Dr. Facebook When Kids Interrupt Beat the Clock Raise a Science Lover Quiet Child

School-Age 27 29 32 32 36 42 44 56 106

Take It Outside Update on Antidepressants Hazards of Raising Chickens Humidifier Help Surviving Dr. Facebook When Kids Interrupt Beat the Clock Raise a Science Lover Hard Truths

Big Kid 27 29 32 32 36 42 44 56

Take It Outside Update on Antidepressants Hazards of Raising Chickens Humidifier Help Surviving Dr. Facebook When Kids Interrupt Beat the Clock Raise a Science Lover

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LIZ VACCARIELLO Editor-in-Chief

STEVEN B. GRUNE Vice President/Group Publisher

Creative Director AGNETHE GLATVED Executive Editor CHANDRA TURNER Managing Editor MICHAELA GARIBALDI Deputy Editor DIANE DEBROVNER

Associate Publisher, Parents Network TRACY HADEL

Lifestyle Director LAURA FENTON Senior Editors JULIA EDELSTEIN (Health), GAIL O’CONNOR, DAVID SPARROW Contributing Nutrition and Travel Editor KAREN CICERO Entertainment Editor JESSICA HARTSHORN Beauty Director TRACY PEREZ Food Editor JENNA HELWIG News Editor MARISA LaSCALA Associate Health Editor ALEKSANDRA MENCEL Editorial Business Coordinator CATHY SIMPSON Assistant Editor LESLIE CORONA Editorial Assistants EMILY ELVERU, RIYANA STRAETKER

ART & PRODUCTION Art Director EMILY FURLANI Deputy Art Director MARIA STEGNER Designer MARIA FERNANDEZ-DAVILA Art Assistant KATHRYN BEAULEAU Senior Art Production Manager JOHN J. O’SULLIVAN Art Production Manager VINCENT M. SPINA PHOTO Photo Director LILY FRANCESCA ALT Photo Editors CRISTINA CIANCI, JOANNA MUENZ Photo Assistant ERIKA THOMPSON RESEARCH & COPY Research Director BARBARA BRANDON-CROFT Copy Chief LISA K. MARUM Copy Editor ALEXA RIPLEY BARRE Test Kitchen Project Manager CARLA CHRISTIAN, R.D.N. DIGITAL Digital Director JULIA DENNISON Executive Editor ERIKA RASMUSSON JANES Editor KAITLIN AHERN Social Media Editor STEPHANIE OSMANSKI Contributing Editors SUNNY SEA GOLD, SABRINA JAMES, KRISTEN KEMP, SARAH MAHONEY, CATHERINE McCORD, DARSHAK SANGHAVI, M.D., SARAH SCHMELLING, THE MOMS OF WHAT’S UP MOMS: BROOKE MAHAN, MEG RESNIKOFF, AND ELLE WALKER

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© Copyright Meredith Corporation 2017. All rights reserved. Parents is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation, registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Subscribers please note: Our subscribers list is occasionally made available to carefully selected firms whose products may be of interest to you. If you prefer not to receive info from these companies by mail or by phone, please let us know. Send your request and your mailing label to Parents Customer Service, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. Executive, editorial, and advertising offices: 805 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10022. Submission of your material constitutes permission for Meredith Corporation to allow its use in any media. Printed in the U.S.A.

PA R E N T S

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•

editor’s letter

As your new editor, I thought a few introductions were in order.

the kind of mom i am SOPHIA AND OLIVIA saw my grin and knew I had big news. “Girls! I’m going to be editor-in-chief of Parents magazine!” Hugs all around. My husband, Steve, gave me a wink from over Olivia’s head. Sophia grabbed me for one of those armsaround-the-waist embraces that melts my heart every time, then pulled away with a hop and held both my hands: “Mommy, that job’s perfect for you,” she said. “Oh? Why is that,” I asked, shamelessly fishing for a compliment. “Because you’re so good at making magazines,” she said. “And sometimes you’re good at being a parent too.” Funny, right? Sophia’s assessment of my skills serves as a fitting introduction to the millions of you I now serve. I’ll just admit it right now: I’m an imperfect mother. I’m the kind of mom who has a trampoline in her backyard (the safest model they make, but a trampoline nonetheless) because we decided that the hours of happily jumping, sitting and talking, even lying on our backs

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looking at the stars far outweighed the risk of injury. I’m the kind of mom who lets Sophia get her hair dyed ribbons of blue, purple, and teal. And who encourages Olivia to play tuba and drums instead of making her focus on one. I’m the kind of mom who stands firm on nutrition, sleep, and kindness but goes soft on hygiene, hair brushing, and pet-getting. I’m the kind of mom who stays back while Steve takes the girls to walk in rivers and hunt for snakes so she can hang in a quiet house (then promptly falls asleep). And

feels like yesterday

Liz Vaccariello @LizVaccariello @LizVacc

PHOTO OF LIZ: STEVE VACCARIELLO.

I invite you to e-mail me at liz@parents.com. I will answer every note.

who told her toddlers “Mommy’s allergic to cats, horses, and … glitter,” an untruth I had a hard time explaining the day I decreed “there is no lying in this family.” As your new editor, I’ll expect backlash from our backyard-safety expert. And I expect letters from folks who think me indulgent for allowing crazy colored hair (and what about those chemicals?). But that’s the thing about parenting. It’s like grammar: I believe you should know the rules and only then can you break them. At the end of the day, you’re going to do it your way anyway. You and your partner, you and your doctor, you and your children are going to figure it out together. Make no mistake. The stories in Parents, written with and supervised by an esteemed board of advisors, will always advocate for your child’s health, happiness, and safety. But I believe we can show moms and dads the hard line in the sand and acknowledge that there are as many ways to raise kids as there are parents. On this page I plan to show you one of them. By opening my real life to you, I hope to encourage you to share yours with me. Tell me your stories, share your moments, and brag about the unique ways you love and grow together. Don’t hold back; this is a no-mom-shaming zone. Deal?

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KI N DN ESS

The Kids Are All Right While grown-ups debate the rights of transgendered people on our news feeds, the vibe across our playgrounds is quite different, and much more inclusive.

COURTESY OF SABRINA JAMES.

“My child transitioned when he was 5. A neighbor explained to her son, then 6, that Colby felt like a boy and we were going to let him live as a boy. Her son’s response: ‘Well, that makes sense.’ As simple and accepting as that.” Kitty Flynn; Boston, MA “When my daughter transitioned three years ago as a 7th-grader in very rural New Hampshire, a highschooler on her bus said to her matter-of-factly, ‘Well, you’ll need a whole new wardrobe.’ The next day,

Kaia, 10, wore this in North Carolina to support the transgender community in the wake of the state’s bathroom law.

she brought a beautiful dress she’d outgrown and a necklace and earrings she’d made to go with the dress.” Jennifer Huckman; Carroll County, NH

“We asked an organization for gender-creative youth to come to my then 8-year-old daughter’s class to help her transition. After the representative announced that my daughter was transgender, the bell rang for lunch and the girls in the class surrounded her. She’d asked me to stay because she’d been afraid

no one would want to eat lunch with her after the announcement, but from inside this protective circle of girls, she waved to me and said, ‘You can go now, Mama.’ ” Anonymous “After the letter went out to other families about my son’s transitioning, another kid (whom we’d known for years though they weren’t close) came up to him, held out her hand, and said, ‘It’s nice to meet you again as Matt.’ ” Lydia Valentine; Tacoma, WA —Sabrina James

IT’S COME TO THIS Several Rhode Island charter-school teachers were suspended and then resigned after a teacher’s

FEBRUARY 2017

13 P A R E N T S

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parents to parents

WHY DI DN’T WE TH I N K OF THAT?

Drop - Off Drip In a small town in North Carolina, Gabriel and Heather Rael have officially

earned their angel wings by launching the most ingenious side biz in all the land: Caffé Olé, a gourmetcoffee food truck that services the drop-off line at their daughter’s charter school. Bonus: Their Fruité Olé smoothies are a hit with kids, just in case breakfast at home consisted of a handful of cereal on the way out the door. Someone get these two a medal, stat. —SJ

MO M M U S T- R E A D S by Kristen Kemp

Slip these into your to-read pile when you’re looking for a pick-me-up.

WANT !

Inspired by his daughter, Poppy, interior designer Nate Berkus has teamed up with Target to launch a nursery and layette line. Look for his elegantly whimsical designs to show up on night-lights, sheets, toys, and clothing. $12 to $50; target.com

The Happiest Mommy You Know: Why Putting Your Kids First Is the Last Thing You Should Do by Genevieve Shaw Brown The travel and lifestyle editor at ABC News, Brown had an epiphany: She decided to start treating herself as well as she treated her kids. This book is a guilt-free ticket to refocusing your priorities.

e-mail was hacked and insulting chats about students and parents were forwarded to the entire faculty and student body.

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KRISTEN KEMP: COURTESY OF JOHAN SVENSON. NATE BERKUS AND FAMILY: RACHEL MURRAY/STRINGER.

Breathe, Mama, Breathe: 5-Minute Mindfulness for Busy Moms by Shonda Moralis, MSW, LCSW Moralis explains how to tune in to yourself while tuning out the noisy world. You can increase your energy and sense of peace by meditating for five minutes or less and by taking mindfulness breaks whenever things get unpleasant or you doubt yourself.

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•

parents to parents

G OI N G PL AC ES

Last-Minute Spring Break Trips Procrastinators, rejoice: There’s still plenty of space left at these warm-weather resorts with rad family pools, organized kid hangouts—and plenty of fun for you too. Get booking!

South Seas Island Resort

Hyatt Regency Hill Country Resort and Spa

The Garland; North Hollywood, California Whether you want to see stars at the Griffith Observatory or Hollywood Walk of Fame, this bohemian-chic resort with family suites serves as site-seeing hub. At night, watch classic movies by its outdoor pool or take the free shuttle to nearby Universal Studios Hollywood. Suites start at $219 per night; mention Parents when booking to receive milk and cookies in your room on arrival.

Nature Retreats Beach Getaways

Theme-Park Trips

South Seas Island Resort; Captiva, Florida This resort sits on 21/2 miles of private coastline, where your brood can collect seashells, take a dolphin cruise, or splash in 20 pools. Snag free time by enrolling your kids, ages 6 to 13, in an ecology-based class at Sanibel Sea School. Two-bedroom condos start at $249 per night.

The Grove Resort & Spa; Orlando, Florida Traveling with extended family? Book this new, all-suite resort not far from Walt Disney World and Universal Orlando Resort . Threebedroom, two-bathroom suites start at $359 per night; get 10 percent off the best available rate or 20 percent off the advance purchase rate for stays beginning February 16 when using code PARENTS17.

Edgewater Beach & Golf Resort; Panama City Beach, Florida Scoop up a one- to three-bedroom villa (with a kitchen) and hit the waves. When the kids are feeling waterlogged, head to the tennis courts or nine-hole golf course. Rates for a one-bedroom villa start at $114; call (855) 482-9783 and mention PARENTS20 for a 20 percent discount for stays from February 26 to April 9 based on availability.

Edgewater Beach & Golf Resort

Loews Ventana Canyon Resort; Tucson, Arizona After hiking at Sabino Canyon (a free shuttle takes you there), cool off at the pool, where staff hand out fruit and smoothies. Four- to 12-year-olds can feed fish and take an ecology walk at the Coyote Kids Club while you get a spa treatment. Rooms with two queen beds start at $179 per night; book with the code PARENTS to have complimentary cookies and chocolate delivered to your room. Hyatt Regency Hill Country Resort and Spa; San Antonio, Texas With nature trails, a playground, golf, and a spa, your family may not want to leave this resort, situated just outside the city. But if you do venture out, visit the Chisholm Trail Winery, which welcomes kids with brick-oven pizza and games. Rooms with two double beds start at $229 per night. —Karen Cicero

In Michigan, a homeowner filed a class-action lawsuit against the companies behind Pokémon Go for putting PokéStops

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parents to parents

same name!

PARE NTS PO L L

53% yes “How else do you really teach gun safety?” —Leigh G. Beck

no 47% “My kids have absolutely no need to handle a gun. No child does.” —Pamela Stoesz

“We live in an area where hunting is a large part of life. We already have the .22 she will be getting for her 5th birthday.” —Jessi Hurd

“We give our girls—at least I did—a certain age for when they can wear makeup. I did the same for my son and firearms.” —Amy Hunt

W E CAN REL ATE

I grabbed the right Tupperware lid on the first try and I’ve never felt more drunk with power. —Abby Heugel, @AbbyHasIssues, via Twitter

YUM

Super Sweet! It’s Girl Scout cookie season, and this year the Scouts are offering up something new that will have you reminiscing about your own camping trips: Girl Scout S’mores cookies. Select markets will carry either a crispy graham cookie dipped in a crème icing and coated in chocolate, or a graham-cookie sandwich with a marshmallow and chocolate filling. No smoke-filled campfire necessary. Price varies by individual Girl Scout council; girlscoutcookies.org

and Gyms on private property without getting the consent of the property owners. | A 6-year-old boy in Massachusetts

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GUN: MARCUS NILSSON. COOKIES: PETER ARDITO.

Do you think that it should be legal for children of all ages to be able to handle firearms, as long as an adult is present? A bill that died in the State Senate in Iowa would have let kids under 14 use handguns with parental supervision.

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parents to parents

Banowetz takes the wishes of his pint-size clients very seriously.

G A M ES

Retro Recreation

B ON DI NG

Helping Dads Boost Their Styling Mojo Dads—and inexperienced moms—need to get over their fear of their kids’ hair, and Dean Banowetz, author of The Dean's List of DaddyDos and stylist for shows like Shark Tank, So You Think You Can Dance, and American Idol, offers a plan for tackling hairdos of all ponytail-making skill levels. Why Dads Should Do Hair It’s important bonding time. “I always say that as your ponytails get better so will your conversations.”

How He Got Into Hair Raised on a farm in Iowa as the 13th of 15 children, Banowetz shaved heads for his platoon in the U.S. Army. His brother (No. 12) was the one who suggested he go full-time. “He told me, ‘You used to braid the tails on the cows when you were supposed to be milking them.’ ”

GET IN TOUCH! Send your comments to writeus@parents.com. Include your daytime phone number, city, and state or province. You can also post on facebook.com/parentsmagazine. Submission of your material constitutes permission for Meredith Corporation to allow its use in all media. SUBSCRIPTION HELP: Visit us at parents.com/myaccount, e-mail pmmcustserv @cdsfulfillment.com, or call 800-727-3682.

His Coolest Trick He shows gamers how to braid using cords from a PlayStation 3 (cross the red cable over the yellow, then the white over the red, then the yellow over the white, and so on).

Where Dads Can Start Go through your toolbox with your child and have her pick out her favorite washers, nuts, and bolts. Get cheap nail polish and a plain barrette. Polish the pieces she selected in different colors, then superglue them to the barrette. Finish the whole thing off with another coat of glittery clear nail polish. “Now she has a super-cute hair accessory that she and her dad made,” Banowetz says. “And every time she wears it, she’ll think of him.” —Marisa LaScala

called the police on his dad for running a red light. His father was actually making a right turn, which is legal in the state.

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DEAN DOING HAIR: KAMY BRUDER.

Consider reliving your 8-bit glory days with the Nintendo Entertainment System: NES Classic Edition. The console connects directly to your TV via an HDMI cable, and 30 fan-favorite games (Donkey Kong and Super Mario Bros., anyone?) are pre-loaded into the system. Impress your kids by showing that, after all these years, you still know where all the underground rooms are in The Legend of Zelda. $60; nintendo.com

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parents to parents

flicks for all ages

10 BEST MOVIES

CommonSenseMedia.org and Parents teamed up to find films that aren’t scary for preschoolers or babyish for older children. Just press play!

FOR SIBLINGS TO SHARE of al l time

The Lorax (1972) Unlike the commercialized 2012 version, this shorter film delivers environmental messages in a way that even young kids can understand. They’ll like the repetition “I speak for the trees!” and wordplay such as “Gluppity-Glupp” and “Schloppity-Schlopp,” while older kids will enjoy song sequences that break up heavier moments. 5+, 25 minutes

The Muppet Movie (1979) This live-action classic has goofy humor and “Rainbow Connection” for little kids and warm, meaningful messages about persistence and friendship for older sibs. 6+, 95 minutes

The Peanuts Movie (2015)

This gentle, gorgeous animated film by famous Japanese director Hayao Miyazaki focuses on two young girls who find that their country home is a mythical forest. “The slow pace is perfect for younger kids, but details like the cat bus are clever enough for older ones,” says Sierra Filucci, of Oakland, California, whose kids have watched it for years. 5+, 86 minutes The Adventures of Milo and Otis (1986) This sweet live-action friendship tale about an orange tabby kitten and a young pug who have strayed from their farm has a bit of peril, but the animals’ cuteness will keep children of all ages oohing and aahing. 5+, 76 minutes

Cars (2006)

Frozen (2013)

There’s no villain in this Pixar gem about rookie racer Lightning McQueen. “My 4-year-old daughter was initially drawn to it since it was her older brother’s fave, but now she likes Sally, the girl car,” says Cindy Leahy, of Marshfield, Massachusetts. 5+, 117 minutes

Whether it’s Elsa accidentally hurting her younger sister or a sisterly sacrifice that saves the day, siblings will relate to the plot. Of course, catchy songs and Olaf the Snowman make the movie even more mesmerizing. 5+, 102 minutes

The Gruffalo (2009) Ideal for short attention spans, this animated picture-book adaptation offers appealing messages to older sibs. “The movie’s tone helps my boys, ages 4 and 6, mellow out,” says Jennifer Loyer, a preschool teacher. 3+, 27 minutes

Young kids will love Snoopy’s silly antics, while older ones will commiserate with Charlie Brown’s challenges as he works to win the affection of the Little Red-Haired Girl. “My 8-year-old related to Charlie Brown’s struggles getting through school, but that plot flew over my 4-year-old’s head,” says Jennifer Starkey, of St. Louis. “Instead, Snoopy was his favorite character—he sleeps with a stuffed one.” 4+, 88 minutes

Shaun the Sheep Movie (2015) There’s barely any dialogue in this stop-motion film based on a British television series, making it easier for young children to understand the plot. The older crowd will think the sheep’s disguises are pretty funny. 4+, 85 minutes

Toy Story (1995) Children of all ages love seeing toys come to life and have adventures. And there’s not too much that’s likely to worry little kids. “My 6-year-old likes the part where Mrs. Potato Head joins the family while my younger son is enthralled with any scene that involves Buzz Lightyear,” says Jeanette Leon Go, of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. 5+, 81 minutes

Bruce Springsteen signed a Philadelphia 5th-grader’s school absence note after he skipped school to see The Boss’s concert.

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TOTORO: 50TH STREET FILMS/COURTESY EVERETT COLLECTION.

My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

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kids. K E E P T H E M H E A LT H Y A N D H A P P Y

Heads Up!

WARDROBE STYLING BY AMY SODERLIND. PROP STYLING BY LEILA NICHOLS. GROOMING BY DIANE DA SILVA. STUDIO TEACHING BY JOAN FONTAINE-GINGG.

The Great Backyard Bird Count is February 17 to 20. Tally the number and kinds of birds you see for 15 minutes every day, and report your findings on birdcount.org.

take it outside Being in nature as a family may make every member of your crew happier, suggest researchers from the University of Illinois at UrbanaChampaign. It can soothe stress and boost mindfulness, making it easier to weed out distractions and focus on each other. So even though it’s winter, try to squeeze in outdoor activities with the kids. (Snow pants come in your size, too, you know!)

photograph by THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY

FEBRUARY 2017

27 P A R E N T S

kids

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health news

33%

of 6- to 11-year old girls get the recommended 60 minutes or more a day of exercise, according to the American Heart Association. Half of boys that age do.

Story for the Sniffles

How Can I Get My Toddler to Eat Meat? Protein comes in many forms, and toddlers can get the 13 grams they need each day from beans (1/4 cup chickpeas=3 grams), eggs (1 hardboiled egg=7 grams) and dairy (1 cup milk=8 grams). But if you want to make meat more appealing to your child, try one of these tricks from Natalia Stasenko, R.D., who specializes in family nutrition. Lightly bread it. Think mini schnitzels, says Stasenko. “Use a meat mallet to make small pieces of chicken or pork very thin and easy to

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chew, then let the crunch of wholewheat breadcrumbs work its magic.” Tackle the texture. When making homemade burgers or meatballs, first blitz ground beef, turkey, or chicken in a food processor with a little water or milk. “The result will be a much smoother, more tender consistency that kids love,” she says. Just dip it. “Offer some ketchup, mayo, low-sodium soy sauce, ranch dressing, or any other dip your child likes,” she says. It will help him learn to tolerate challenging foods.

T W E E T YO U N E ED

Give your kids probiotics if they have to take antibiotics. @SeattleMamaDoc

by SUNNY SEA GOLD

FROM TOP: MARC ROMANELLI/GETTY; LISE GAGNE/GETTY; PETER ARDITO.

Little Louie is sick. His nose is stuffed up, his voice sounds strange, and when he yells “Mom!” his slobbery dog Bob thinks he’s calling for him instead. Your kid will have fun shouting out the words to Audrey Vernick and Liz Garton Scanlon’s book Bob, Not Bob!: to be read as though you have the worst cold ever. It’ll also show her that catching a bug isn’t that bad when she gets to snuggle in bed and read with you. 3 to 5 years, $18 —Emily Elveru

kids

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health news

Update on Kids and Antidepressants Only one antidepressant, Prozac, is effective enough to justify being prescribed to children and adolescents, concludes a review of 34 randomized trials published in The Lancet. The meta-analysis included 14 different antidepressants and more than 5,200 kids and teens with major depression. Even so, don’t let this news make you panic. “If your child is already on an

antidepressant other than Prozac and is doing well, there is no reason to change prescriptions based on this study alone,” says Ajit Jetmalani, M.D., director of the division of child and adolescent psychiatry at Oregon Health & Science University’s Doernbecher Children’s Hospital, in Portland. But if your doctor is considering an antidepressant for your child, the research is worth bringing up.

FROM TOP: DAVE FIMBRES PHOTOGRAPHY/GETTY; KARL LUND; PETER ARDITO.

Try This New Eczema Soother

A Boredom-Proof Museum

Made from natural ingredients including shea butter, coconut oil, and colloidal oatmeal, Skinfix Kids Eczema Balm is a safe alternative to steroid cream, so you can slather away worry-free. Dermatologists recommend it, and so does Parents senior health editor Julia Edelstein, who tested it on her toddler’s stubborn eczema. After just five days of nightly post-bath use, the rash on his legs cleared up and has yet to return. $19; CVS & Target

About the Body

Imagine a place where kids can slide down the shinbone of a giant skeleton or see how wrinkly their skin will get if they skip sunscreen or they smoke. These exhibits at the recently opened HealthWorks! Kids’ Museum, in St. Louis, are the latest examples of a new trend: teaching about science and health through interactive experiences. “I’ve heard so many kids walk away from our age-progression exhibit saying, ‘I’m

never going to touch a cigarette,’ ” says HealthWorks! president and CEO Shannon Woodcock. A few other memorable museums where kids can learn about their body through fun, hands-on adventures: The Health Museum in Houston Kidzeum of Health and Science in Springfield, Illinois The Bodyology exhibit at the Children’s Museum Tucson

FEBRUARY 2017

29 P A R E N T S

A Safe Haven Young children are curious, and they love to explore the world around them—especially their homes. As any parent will tell you, it only takes a second for accidents to happen, so it’s important to keep your home safe for little explorers.

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Bathrooms are the most frequently used rooms in the house, but they also contain hidden hazards. FOLLOW THE TIPS below to safely childproof your bathrooms, and keep them safe in the everyday moments of your family’s busy life.

Lock it up Babies and toddlers should never be in

Cover up To make bath time safe, place a nonslip

the bathroom alone, so all doors should

rubber mat in the bathtub and a nonslip bath

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rubber spout cover over the tub faucet

latches on the toilet seat, and on bathroom

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drawers and cabinets, to keep your little

And never leave your baby alone in the

explorer safe from dangerous objects

bathtub. If you need to answer the phone

like razors, medication, shaving cream,

or the door, bring your baby

and curling irons.

with you.

Clean up Many washers and dryers are located in bathrooms, which can be convenient, but also pose hazards to keep in mind when childprooﬁng. Even if you’re in-between loads, don’t forget to store your laundry pacs in their original container, such as the Tide PODS® Child-Guard™ Pack, and keep them up high, closed, and safe — out of the reach of children.

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It only takes a second Keep laundry pacs away from children

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health news

protect+ prevent Make sure she washes her hands as soon as she comes inside.

Humidifier Help Plenty of parents rely on a humidifier to ease their kid’s congestion during cold and flu season, but using it the wrong way could do more harm than good, especially if a child has allergies, says pediatrician Dennis Cooley, M.D. Stick to these important guidelines.

Choose wisely. “Evaporative” cool-mist humidifiers don’t pump as much bacteria and extra moisture into the air as “impeller” types. Never use a hot-water vaporizer in a kid’s room; a spill can cause serious scalds or burns. Note that saline spray is another good way to loosen mucus and soothe a sore nose, adds Dr. Cooley.

Backyard chicken coops are earthfriendly, fun, and ... full of bird poop. Now that they’re trendy, they’re also making more families sick. There were over 600 cases of Salmonella poisoning linked to backyard poultry in 2016 (more than twice as many as in 2015). Worse: About a third of those affected were under age 5. If you’re considering a coop, have your family follow these rules.

Never wash a fresh egg. Many

people don’t realize that eggs have a natural protective coating, and washing it off may actually increase the risk of contamination because the germy water can be absorbed into the egg through the shell’s pores, says Dr. Nichols. But always wash your hands after handling eggs or feeding the birds.

Don’t kiss or nuzzle baby chicks.

Chickens should be off-limits for kids under 5. Children—along with

Salmonella live in the chicken’s intestines and easily spread through their droppings to their feathers and feet, explains Megin Nichols, D.V.M., a veterinary epidemiologist at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

seniors and those with a suppressed immune system—are more likely to have severe (even potentially fatal) illnesses from Salmonella, which is why the CDC recommends that families with little kids keep poultry out of their backyard.

5 PA R E N T S

The age at which children can grasp the value of taking turns, finds a recent study in the journal Psychological Science

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Use distilled water. Crusty mineral buildup from tap water can breed bacteria. You may also be bothered by white dust that can appear on surfaces when the humidifier is on. Clean it regularly. Every humidifier comes with its own set of instructions. If you don’t follow them, bacteria and mold can build up and spread around the room, says Dr. Cooley. Antimicrobial products like the Vicks’ Protec Humidifier Cleaning Fish (pictured below) offer extra protection against odorcausing bacteria, mold, and algae growth in between cleanings.

GIRL: CATHERINE DELAHAYE/GETTY.

Hazards of Raising Chickens

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Do not use PARAGARD if you have a pelvic infection, get infections easily or have certain cancers. Less than 1% of XVHUV JHW D VHULRXV LQIHFWLRQ FDOOHG SHOYLF LQŴ DPPDWRU\ disease. If you have persistent pelvic or stomach pain, or if PARAGARD comes out, tell your healthcare professional. If it comes out, use back-up birth control. Occasionally, PARAGARD may attach to or in rare cases may go through the uterine wall and may also cause other problems. In some cases, surgical removal may be necessary. Although uncommon, pregnancy while using PARAGARD can be life threatening and may result in loss of pregnancy or fertility. %OHHGLQJ RU VSRWWLQJ PD\ LQFUHDVH DW Ɠ UVW EXW VKRXOG GHFUHDVH in 2 to 3 months. PARAGARD does not protect against HIV/ AIDS or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Available by prescription only. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA at www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088. Please see the following page for a brief summary of Prescribing Information. PARAGARD is a registered trademark of Teva Women’s Health, Inc. ©2016 Teva Women’s Health, Inc. PAR-41063 October 2016

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BRIEF SUMMARY ®

ParaGard T380A Intrauterine Copper Contraceptive This brief summary does not take the place of talking to your doctor about your medical condition or your treatment. ParaGard® T 380A Intrauterine Copper Contraceptive is used to prevent pregnancy. It does not protect against HIV infection (AIDS) and other sexually transmitted diseases. What is ParaGard®? ParaGard® (intrauterine copper contraceptive) is a copper-releasing device that is placed in your uterus to prevent pregnancy for up to 10 years. ParaGard® is made of white plastic in the shape of a “T.” Copper is wrapped around the stem and arms of the “T”. Two white threads are attached to the stem of the “T”. The threads are the only part of ParaGard® that you can feel when ParaGard® is in your uterus. ParaGard® and its components do not contain latex. How long can I keep ParaGard® in place? You can keep ParaGard® in your uterus for up to 10 years. After 10 years, you should have ParaGard® removed by your healthcare provider. If you wish and if it is still right for you, you may get a new ParaGard® during the same visit. What if I change my mind and want to become pregnant? Your healthcare provider can remove ParaGard® at any time. After discontinuation of ParaGard®, its contraceptive effect is reversed. How does ParaGard® work? Ideas about how ParaGard® works include preventing sperm from reaching the egg, preventing sperm from fertilizing the egg, and possibly preventing the egg from attaching (implanting) in the uterus. ParaGard® does not stop your ovaries from making an egg (ovulating) each month. How well does ParaGard® work? Fewer than 1 in 100 women become pregnant each year while using ParaGard®. Who should not use ParaGard®? You should not use ParaGard® if you • Might be pregnant • Have a uterus that is abnormally shaped inside • Have a pelvic infection called pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or have current behavior that puts you at high risk of PID (for example, because you are having sex with several men, or your partner is having sex with other women) • Have had an infection in your uterus after a pregnancy or abortion in the past 3 months • Have cancer of the uterus or cervix • Have unexplained bleeding from your vagina • Have an infection in your cervix • Have Wilson’s disease (a disorder in how the body handles copper) • Are allergic to anything in ParaGard® • Already have an intrauterine contraceptive in your uterus How is ParaGard® placed in the uterus? ParaGard® is placed in your uterus during an office visit. Your healthcare provider first examines you to find the position of your uterus. Next, he or she will cleanse your vagina and cervix, measure your uterus, and then slide a plastic tube containing ParaGard® into your uterus. The tube is removed, leaving ParaGard® inside your uterus. Two white threads extend into your vagina. The threads are trimmed so they are just long enough for you to feel with your fingers when doing a self-check. As ParaGard® goes in, you may feel cramping or pinching. Some women feel faint, nauseated, or dizzy for a few minutes afterwards. Your healthcare provider may ask you to lie down for a while and to get up slowly. How do I check that ParaGard® is in my uterus? Visit your healthcare provider for a check-up about one month after placement to make sure ParaGard® is still in your uterus. You can also check to make sure that ParaGard® is still in your uterus by reaching up to the top of your vagina with clean fingers to feel the two threads. Do not pull on the threads. If you cannot feel the threads, ask your healthcare provider to check if ParaGard® is in the right place. If you can feel more of ParaGard® than just the threads, ParaGard® is not in the right place. If you can’t see your healthcare provider right away, use an additional birth control method. If ParaGard® is in the wrong place, your chances of getting pregnant are increased. It is a good habit for you to check that ParaGard® is in place once a month. You may use tampons when you are using ParaGard®.

What if I become pregnant while using ParaGard®? If you think you are pregnant, contact your healthcare professional right away. If you are pregnant and ParaGard® is in your uterus, you may get a severe infection or shock, have a miscarriage or premature labor and delivery, or even die. Because of these risks, your healthcare provider will recommend that you have ParaGard® removed, even though removal may cause miscarriage. If you continue a pregnancy with ParaGard® in place, see your healthcare provider regularly. Contact your healthcare provider right away if you get fever, chills, cramping, pain, bleeding, flu-like symptoms, or an unusual, bad smelling vaginal discharge. A pregnancy with ParaGard® in place has a greater than usual chance of being ectopic (outside your uterus). Ectopic pregnancy is an emergency that may require surgery. An ectopic pregnancy can cause internal bleeding, infertility, and death. Unusual vaginal bleeding or abdominal pain may be signs of an ectopic pregnancy. Copper in ParaGard® does not seem to cause birth defects. What side effects can I expect with ParaGard®? The most common side effects of ParaGard® are heavier, longer periods and spotting between periods; most of these side effects diminish after 2-3 months. However, if your menstrual flow continues to be heavy or long, or spotting continues, contact your healthcare provider. Infrequently, serious side effects may occur: • Pelvic inflammatory disease (PID): Uncommonly, ParaGard® and other IUDs are associated with PID. PID is an infection of the uterus, tubes, and nearby organs. PID is most likely to occur in the first 20 days after placement. You have a higher chance of getting PID if you or your partner have sex with more than one person. PID is treated with antibiotics. However, PID can cause serious problems such as infertility, ectopic pregnancy, and chronic pelvic pain. Rarely, PID may even cause death. More serious cases of PID require surgery or a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus). Contact your healthcare provider right away if you have any of the signs of PID: abdominal or pelvic pain, painful sex, unusual or bad smelling vaginal discharge, chills, heavy bleeding, or fever. • Difficult removals: Occasionally ParaGard® may be hard to remove because it is stuck in the uterus. Surgery may sometimes be needed to remove ParaGard®. • Perforation: Rarely, ParaGard® goes through the wall of the uterus, especially during placement. This is called perforation. If ParaGard® perforates the uterus, it should be removed. Surgery may be needed. Perforation can cause infection, scarring, or damage to other organs. If ParaGard® perforates the uterus, you are not protected from pregnancy. • Expulsion: ParaGard® may partially or completely fall out of the uterus. This is called expulsion. Women who have never been pregnant may be more likely to expel ParaGard® than women who have been pregnant before. If you think that ParaGard® has partly or completely fallen out, use an additional birth control method, such as a condom and call your healthcare provider. You may have other side effects with ParaGard®. For example, you may have anemia (low blood count), backache, pain during sex, menstrual cramps, allergic reaction, vaginal infection, vaginal discharge, faintness, or pain. This is not a complete list of possible side effects. If you have questions about a side effect, check with your healthcare provider. When should I call my healthcare provider? Call your healthcare provider if you have any concerns about ParaGard®. Be sure to call if you: • Think you are pregnant • Have pelvic pain or pain during sex • Have unusual vaginal discharge or genital sores • Have unexplained fever • Might be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) • Cannot feel ParaGard®’s threads or can feel the threads are much longer • Can feel any other part of the ParaGard® besides the threads • Become HIV positive or your partner becomes HIV positive • Have severe or prolonged vaginal bleeding • Miss a menstrual period Teva Women’s Health, Inc. A Subsidiary of Teva Pharmaceuticals USA, Inc. North Wales, PA 19454 This brief summary is based on ParaGard® FDA-approved patient labeling, Rev. 9/2014. PAR-41072

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kids

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staying healthy

Try avoiding gluten!

That rash looks contagious ...

Have you given him echinacea?

surviving dr. facebook WHEN LEAH Thompson’s 2-yearold, Rachel, started having breathing problems, her family was in and out of the E.R. multiple times in the span of six months. Worried, the mom of two from Murray, Utah, posted in a few online mommy groups, asking

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for positive thoughts. What she received instead: lots of unsolicited medical advice, including a suggestion from one commenter to use essential oils (because “emergency rooms are expensive” and “it fixed my kid’s problems”).

When Thompson eventually took Rachel back to the hospital, the toddler finally received a proper diagnosis of asthma and started getting the treatment she needed. If you belong to a parenting group on social media—usually private or

GS/GALLERY STOCK.

Medical advice is available on social media in seconds. But before you trust the hive mind, read this. by JESSICA MIGALA

= 10 g protein

= 17g protein

They say you are what you eat. So which one are you? Eating that bagel has the same effect on your blood sugar as eating over seven teaspoons of sugar.* Surprising, right? We call it the “Hidden Sugar Effect.” But that delicious Atkins Bar? Its effect is about a ½ teaspoon of sugar. We reduced the carbs but not the deliciousness. Find out more about “hidden sugars” at Atkins.com/enjoy.

*Based on a glycemic load calculation, which is the blood glucose-raising potential of a food.

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staying healthy

“secret” groups made up of moms in your area—you know the drill: A mom posts a health-related question, such as “Does this picture of my child’s mysterious rash look bad?” or “Should I start my 6-month-old on rice cereal or sweet potatoes?” Then other moms chime in with a deluge of commiseration, cures, and support. While the technology is a new phenomenon, the instinct to pick the brains of fellow moms is age-old. “We’ve always looked to friends for advice. This is just a new way to do it,” says Natasha Burgert, M.D., a pediatrician in Kansas City, Missouri, who runs the blog KC Kids Doc. More than half of mothers and a third of fathers discuss parenting and child-health issues on social media, and about 75 percent of parents say being part of online groups helps them feel less alone, reports a survey by the University of Michigan C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital. Fortunately, enjoying the perks of posting—without suffering negative consequences—requires following just a few guidelines.

“Their intentions were good, but their advice angered me. Parents need to do their homework.” Know when to post. Sites like Facebook work best when you’re tapping moms for parenting or discipline issues, not medical ones, says Rachel Vreeman, M.D., assistant professor of pediatrics at the Indiana University School of Medicine, in Indianapolis. A few queries that are just about perfect for posting: troubleshooting milestones like potty training; finding creative snack options; comparing when to start giving an allowance; searching for local kids’ events; swapping dinner recipes; and seeking recommendations for pediatricians. However, when it comes to health, information could be inaccurate and negligent.

For a definitive diagnosis, there’s no replacing your pediatrician.

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Read comments critically. It’s not uncommon for members of online mommy groups to offer advice on curing a child’s autism through dietary changes, how to make baby formula at home, or the benefits of a chiropractor for everything from allergies to reflux. Christina Saida Needham, of Oshkosh, Wisconsin, was shocked when she read that mothers were suggesting squirting breast milk directly into a baby’s ears to treat an ear infection—instead of going to see the doctor. At best, a treatment might not work; at worst, it can be harmful. It’s dangerous for an infant to drink formula that lacks the appropriate vitamins and minerals, says Dr. Vreeman, coauthor of Don’t Cross Your Eyes … They’ll Get Stuck That Way!: And 75 Other Health Myths Debunked. And putting breast milk in a baby’s eyes or ears could be a recipe for infection. Katie Ruvalcaba, of Noblesville, Indiana, knows how easy it is to be steered wrong. When she struggled with breastfeeding her first baby, she asked an online group for help. “They said under-producing breast milk was rare, my baby was getting enough from me, and that formulafeeding was tantamount to child abuse,” she recalls. Ruvalcaba saw a lactation consultant but waited two weeks before going to the pediatrician because other moms told her that he’d push formula on her. By the time her appointment arrived, her baby was crying constantly. “The doctor told me that she had lost too much weight, she needed to eat, and I couldn’t let my pride get in the way. He didn’t let me leave the office until we gave her formula,” Ruvalcaba says. “I’m so glad he did. Feeding her was more important than trying to breastfeed.” John Wenzel got caught up in unsolicited advice when he posted about a fund-raising walk for his son’s

KATARZYNA BIALASIEWICZ/GETTY.

kids

WE’RE THE ONLY LEADING BRAND WHO USES

kids

type 1 diabetes. “People chimed in with suggestions about how my son should take cinnamon pills, eliminate gluten, and try breathing exercises,” the Denver dad remembers. “A lot of people had no idea what they were talking about. Their intentions were good, but their advice angered me. Parents need to do their homework.” Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, and some lucky parents do find the answers they seek on social media. Kelly Johnson, of Wheeling, Illinois, turned to a group about her daughter’s acid reflux and colic. “I got some feedback about the difference between reflux medications, which helped me know what questions to ask at the pediatrician’s office,” she says. “For colic, the best response I got was, ‘I know what you’re going through.’ It helped me act more calmly with my screaming baby.”

Check with experts. “I love that moms are connecting on social media. But you don’t want to confuse experience with expertise,” says Parents advisor Wendy Sue Swanson, M.D., chief of digital innovation at Seattle Children’s Hospital and author of the blog Seattle Mama Doc. Just because a mom has a child with eczema doesn’t mean she will be able to diagnose it in your child or tell you all about the best available treatments. The truth is, there’s no surefire way to accurately evaluate the information other parents post online. What you can do: “Think twice before asking a stranger for definitive advice you’d normally ask your doctor for,” says Dr. Swanson. If you still feel compelled to post, vet whatever advice you receive with trusted experts before making any decision on an intervention. For example, you could tell your doctor that another mom said her son had the same problem and that a certain medication or treatment helped—then

•

staying healthy

see what she says. This rule holds especially true for complementary therapies (such as essential oils and supplements) that may not be regulated by the FDA. Before consulting your doctor, you could also try using the American Academy of Pediatrics’ (AAP) symptom checker at HealthyChildren.org, which is a reliable source of health information. And remember: Your pediatrician should be willing to answer your questions and respond to your concerns in a timely manner, says Dr. Vreeman. If social media is attractive because your pediatrician is not available, then it’s time to find a new doctor.

Divulge selectively. Some topics aren’t a good fit for social media, warns Emily Webber, M.D., vice chair of the AAP Council on Clinical Information Technology. “Urgent situations are not the time to crowdsource,” she advises. For example, if your baby has a high fever or is having breathing problems, seek medical care right away. The same applies to questions like, “Does this need stitches?” or “Should I go to the E.R.?” In those cases, your doctor should be your first call. Consider your child’s privacy too, says Dr. Burgert. “It’s not fair to post his unique medical history or personal facts about his mental health,” she says. Before you hit “post,” keep this in mind: “The advice that comes from social media is free, and you get what you pay for,” says Dr. Burgert. That’s something Leah Thompson took away from her experience. “I’m okay asking about what stroller to use or where to get a deal on pajamas, but I leave health advice to the experts,” she says. “The biggest thing I learned is that other moms have plenty to say about everything. They just don’t always know what they are talking about.”

FEBRUARY 2017

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uninterrupted quality time spent together. Try these great ideas inspired by Orville Redenbacher’s Gourmet Popping Corn to put a new twist on family favorites.

ON THE hunt

Create a scavenger hunt around the house with fun clues drawing on fond family memories to help your child find the next clue. Reward your child with “no chores” for a day as the prize if they reach the end.

ask AWAY

Create a learning opportunity out of 20 questions – pick a theme, famous person, or place to get your child interested and asking questions about the topic.

NAME THAT tune

One player uses a phone or tablet to show participants a sequence of emojis that depict the name of a popular song. The first participant to guess the correct answer gets control of the device and picks the next song.

Share your special #OrvilleMoment and discover more game night snack ideas at Orville.com/recipes

kids

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project discipline

when kids interrupt Your child needs your attention right now? Teach her to wait. by ERIN ZAMMETT RUDDY

“I’ve told my child to say ‘Excuse else. Now she thinks she can interrupt me as long as she says it—and she does so constantly. She won’t even be interested in speaking to me until I pick up the phone or start chatting with another mom at the bus stop. Then it’s almost like she’s going to explode if I don’t turn to her pronto.”

e can most likely blame evolution for this type of rudeness, says child psychologist Laura Markham, Ph.D., author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. Your child’s excessive interrupting goes back to the Stone Age: Cave kids left alone could get snatched up by predators, so the ones who called out for Mom or Dad as soon as adult eyes were off

them were more likely to survive and pass on their genes. Assuming there are no saber-toothed tigers in your nabe, you can try several things to short-circuit her behavior. “Prep your daughter before you get involved in a conversation,” says Dr. Markham. Tell her you’ll be busy for a few minutes. If she truly needs you she can say “Excuse me,” but she’ll Never

common deMOMinator We asked you on Twitter: Does your kid bug you while you’re on the phone? Your answer:

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20% 80%

All the time

still have to wait. Then come up with a signal to reassure her inner cave girl that you’re not going anywhere. You could squeeze her hand or place your head on her shoulder and hug her to you. If she continues to interrupt, say, “I hear that you need me. Right now I’m talking to Mrs. Jones. I’ll be with you in a minute.” Then resume your chat. If she waits patiently, give her positive feedback (“I know it was hard to wait, and you did it. What helped you stay calm? Was it the squeeze?”). “She’ll be happy to know that you appreciate her efforts,” says Dr. Markham.

another mom’s 2¢ “Try giving your daughter a task to complete. That’s what keeps my 8-year-old twin boys from interrupting me. I’ll say, ‘I’m talking right now. Can you please tell Justin we’re leaving in 5 minutes?’ or, ‘Justin, will you see if Kieran needs help carrying his soccer bag while I finish talking to his mom?’ Kids like to feel useful.” —Jessica L.; Greenlawn, New York

PRISCILLA GRAGG. WARDROBE STYLING BY JENN BONNETT. GROOMING BY TRICIA TURNER. STUDIO TEACHING BY BONNIE HUGHES.

—Courtney G.; Edwardsville, Illinois

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better behavior

Your child has infinite filibuster tactics to avoid being rushed out the door or whisked off to bed. But, with these wise ideas you’ll have a calmer A.M. and P.M. by RACHEL RABKIN PEACHMAN

THE MOST epic battles—and tantrums—in my household happen when I’m getting my daughters, ages 4 and 8, off to school in the morning or into bed at night. Their daily shenanigans can drag on for more than an hour, involve nonstop stalling and cajoling, and bring us all to our boiling point. Based on the grumblings I hear from other moms at drop-off and the

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fed-up texts about kids who are still awake far too late at night, lots of families are struggling with the same ordeals and keeping it off Instagram. “Parents are trying hard to stick to a schedule, while kids want more control and don’t like to be hurried,” sums up Deborah Gilboa, M.D., a family physician and author of Get the Behavior You Want ... Without Being the Parent

You Hate! However, this underlying conflict of interest can be overcome with the right approach. I asked experts and parents for their most successful strategies.

Morning Madness

Your child won’t get moving. STALL TACTIC

Children don’t possess a genuine sense of time until around age 8,

photographs by THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY

You can be this cheerful before school. #goals

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better behavior

so they don’t feel the same sense of urgency to leave that you do, says Parents advisor Eileen KennedyMoore, Ph.D., coauthor of Smart Parenting for Smart Kids. Still, even a 3- or 4-year-old can understand sequence, and creating a picturebased list for your child to follow can keep mornings on schedule. Robin Immerman Gruen, of Chicago, taped her 7-year-old son Frankie’s morning plan to his bathroom mirror. It includes the tasks he’s in charge of completing: Going to the bathroom, brushing teeth, getting dressed, turning off the lights. “We used to have yelling and chaos every morning,” says Gruen. “Now that he knows what’s expected, the stress level has gone way down. If he gets distracted, we can look at the plan together and get back on track.” Get your child invested in the process by letting her illustrate each activity or by taking pictures of her doing each one. She could also check off tasks on a chart. Remind her that you’ll be able to do something fun together if she finishes her morning jobs by a certain time. Some kids are motivated to get ready faster when they have to actually race against the clock. You can use your phone, or consider investing in a device like the Time Timer MOD ($37, timetimer.com), which provides a kid-friendly visual cue of time running out.

He complains of a mystery ailment. STALL TACTIC

Sure, your child might be sick. But if he suddenly has a headache or stomachache he may really be anxious. “My 9-year-old son, Jase,

Your nighttime routine should start earlier than you might think.

gets worried when it’s time to leave, so he says his tummy hurts or he’s going to throw up,” says Laurie Adams, of Ann Arbor, Michigan. When this happens with your child, gently ask him if something or someone at school is upsetting him, says Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., author of Sleepless in America. (If feigning illness to stay home becomes a chronic pattern, address your child’s symptoms with your doctor or a therapist.) Whatever the cause, make mornings as stressfree as possible. Consider getting ready before your child wakes up so that you’re able to focus on his

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needs. Or ease him into the day with a few minutes of cuddling. “That physical connection in the morning calms even older kids,” says Dr. Kurcinka. You can also try budgeting an extra 15 minutes into your morning to give him time for an activity he enjoys, like reading or building with Legos. STALL TACTIC She can’t find all of her stuff.

If your kid has trouble organizing her homework, lunch, hair bands, and other school supplies, ask yourself, “Does she know how to pack her backpack and fill her water bottle, or do I just assume she should be able to?” says Adrienne Fitzer, founder of the Applied Behavior Analysis Center, which provides resources for parents and professionals working with specialneeds kids. If you haven’t taught her these tasks, demonstrate each

WARDROBE STYLING BY YAEL GITAI. PROP STYLING BY HELEN CROWTHER. HAIR AND MAKEUP BY LINDSEY WILLIAMS FOR KATE RYAN USING BUMBLE & BUMBLE AND CHARLOTTE TILBURY. OPENING PHOTO, ON MOM: TURTLENECK, SEE BY CHLOE. SKIRT, NO.21. SNEAKERS, SUPERGA. ON GIRL: PANTS, ZARA. JACKET, STELLA McCARTNEY. ON BOY, PANTS, CREW CUTS. SHIRT, ZARA.

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one and then have her show you how it’s done. You can also give her a head start the night before. Remind her to put her completed assignments in her bag. Set out clothing and accessories for the next day together, and have her place her soccer cleats or dance shoes near the front door so she’ll spot them on her way out. Slowly let your kid take over.

Bedtime Battles

Your kid needs to finish “one more thing.”

OPPOSITE PAGE, ON MOM: SWEATER, CARVEN. PANTS, USE UNUSED. ON GIRL: SHIRT AND LEGGINGS, CREW CUTS.

STALL TACTIC

Kids learn the art of dodging bedtime from an early age. Can you blame them? They’re 100 percent convinced the fun happens when they go to bed. To soften the blow, establish a soothing but firm nighttime routine, with no wiggle room for delays. Start by making the hour before bed screen-free: The light that TVs and digital devices emit suppresses the body’s production of melatonin, the hormone that aids in falling asleep, says Dr. Gilboa. Avoid activities that may get your child revved up or interfere with shut-eye, such as pillow fights or a big snack. Molly MacDermot, of New York City, figured out an effective nighttime flow for her kids, Jerome, 12, and Summer, 8, by trial and error. “It takes Jerome longer to settle down, so I let him have extra time to draw or read,” says MacDermot. She often guides them through a brief meditation in which they relax each part of their body from head to toe. This helps them chill out and signals that it’s time for sleep.

She keeps calling for you.

STALL TACTIC

You say good night, but your kid pops out of her room or hollers for you to come. Sound familiar? Fouryear-old Leah Schwarz always finds excuses to lure her parents. “She’ll say, ‘I need a tissue,’ or ‘Please get

me a drink of water,’ ” says her mom, Barrie, of Scotch Plains, New Jersey. Avoid extra visits by setting clear expectations and anticipating her common requests. “Say, ‘If you call me, I’ll check on you once, but then I won’t be able to come in again because you need sleep to grow and be healthy,’ ” suggests Dr. Gilboa. Another idea: Give your child a coupon to use for one visit. After that, no more check-ins.

He says he’s scared. STALL TACTIC

Your child’s imagination can run wild—conjuring monsters or robbers—when he’s by himself in a dark room. Channel his creative mind in a positive way by asking him to recall a happy memory like his last birthday and then think about what he’d like to do for his next one, suggests Dr. Kennedy-Moore. A more concrete thinker might prefer counting backward by twos or taking some slow, deep breaths. The point is to help your child focus his mind in a different direction. Try talking about his nighttime fears during the day. “Prove to him that things don’t exist just because he thinks of them in his head,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. For example, have him put his hands together, close his eyes, and imagine that his thumbs are turning green. Then have him open them and say, “See, no matter how hard you think of something, that doesn’t make it real.” Some anxious kids may need to gradually build up their confidence so that they can go to sleep on their own. If you’ve been sitting with your child until he falls asleep, try reducing how long you stay in the room or stand in the hallway. You can also promise to check on him at regular intervals. Peek in without saying anything, and gradually stretch out the time between visits. Eventually, he’ll learn that he really doesn’t need you to drift off.

one surprising sleep solution If your child has trouble nodding off, she might actually need to go to bed earlier. Sound crazy? Kids who take longer than 30 minutes to fall asleep are often overtired because they don’t get enough shut-eye, says Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. (The National Sleep Foundation recommends 10 to 13 hours for 3- to 5-year-olds and 9 to 11 hours for 6to 13-year-olds.) Doing the math can be a wake-up call: A preschooler who gets up at 6:30 a.m. needs to be in bed no later than 8:30 p.m.—assuming she conks out right away. Signs that you’ve missed your kid’s ideal bedtime: She’s whiny, cranky, or acts wild (ahem, jumping on the bed). Try moving her bedtime up by 15 to 30 minutes and seeing if that helps. The best way to ensure that your child gets enough sleep is to stick to a consistent bedtime and wake-up time, even on weekends. That may be an uphill battle, but it’s worth the struggle. Nightly variations of more than 30 minutes can throw off your child’s whole sleep schedule, which makes it even harder for her to get the rest she needs, says Dr. Kurcinka.

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celebrate

true colors Not in love with artificial red dye? You can still make sweet and festive Valentine’s Day treats. by KATIE SULLIVAN MORFORD, R.D.N.

wool you be mine?

Cupid’s Cloud Parfait The secret ingredient in this dreamy dessert is crème fraîche. Plain whole-milk Greek yogurt is a tasty alternative. See page 52 for recipe.

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photographs by DANE TASHIMA

Sweetheart Tarts Store-bought dough makes these treats even easier than pie. See page 52 for recipe.

Any red jam would be delicious here. We like raspberry, strawberry, or cherry.

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celebrate Eat up! This frozen goody melts fast.

“Be Mine” Fro-Yo Bark Active Time 15 minutes Total Time 3 hours 15 minutes Makes 25 servings

This better-for-you treat is at its creamy best when made with whole-milk yogurt. INGREDIENTS

1½ cups plain whole-milk Greek yogurt 3 Tbs. honey 1 tsp. Homemade Pink Food Coloring (page 52)

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¾ cup freeze-dried strawberries, crushed ¼ cup miniature semisweet chocolate chips 2 Tbs. unsweetened shredded coconut MAKE IT

1. In a medium bowl, whisk together the yogurt, honey, and food coloring until blended and smooth. 2. Cover a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Spread the yogurt in a thin layer on the baking sheet

in a roughly 13x9-in. rectangle. 3. Scatter the crushed strawberries evenly over the yogurt, followed by the chocolate chips and coconut. Put in freezer for 3 hours or until frozen. 4. Remove from freezer and quickly break the bark into about 25 pieces. Immediately transfer to a resealable bag and store in the freezer. NUTRITION PER SERVING 40 calories; 1g protein; 2g fat (1g sat. fat); 5g carbs; 0 fiber; 5g sugar; 0 iron; 17mg calcium; 5mg sodium

Raspberry-Gingersnap Cheesecake Bars Active Time 30 minutes Total Time 2 hours 30 minutes Makes 16 servings

Keep these no-bake, make-ahead treats chilled until you serve them. INGREDIENTS

25 gingersnap cookies, finely crushed (6 oz.) ¼ cup unsalted butter, melted 3 Tbs. cold water 1½ tsp. unflavored gelatin ½ cup granulated sugar ⅓ cup Homemade Pink Food Coloring (page 52) ½ cup heavy cream 8 oz. cream cheese, softened 1 tsp. vanilla extract 16 fresh raspberries MAKE IT

1. Line an 8x8-in. baking pan with parchment paper so that it drapes over two opposite sides. 2. In a medium bowl combine the crushed cookies and butter. Stir until well combined. Firmly press cookie mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan. 3. Place water in a small saucepan. Sprinkle the gelatin over the surface of the water (do not stir). Let stand 5 minutes. Heat the saucepan over medium heat until gelatin dissolves. Stir in the sugar. Cook and stir just until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat and stir in the food coloring. 4. In a large bowl, beat the heavy cream with an electric mixer on medium speed until cream reaches stiff peaks (tips stand straight). 5. In a separate large bowl beat the cream cheese and vanilla for 30 seconds. Add the gelatin mixture and beat until completely combined, about 2 minutes. Add the whipped cream and beat on low just until combined. Pour over crust in pan. Chill 2 hours or until firm. 6. Run a knife along the edges of the cheesecake. Use the parchment to lift from pan. Cut into 16 bars and top each one with a fresh raspberry. NUTRITION PER SERVING 176 calories; 2g protein; 12g fat (7g sat. fat); 17g carbs; 1g fiber; 10g sugar; 1mg iron; 31mg calcium; 100mg sodium

You can swap in 10 whole grahamcracker sheets for the gingersnaps.

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celebrate in half, and top off each parfait with a strawberry heart. NUTRITION PER PARFAIT 242 calories; 2g protein; 18g fat (12g sat. fat); 18g carbs; 2g fiber; 16g sugar; 0 iron; 59mg calcium; 13mg sodium

Sweetheart Tarts Active Time 30 minutes Total Time 1 hour 15 minutes Makes 8 tarts INGREDIENTS

Cupid’s Cloud Parfait Active Time 20 minutes Total Time 20 minutes Makes 6 servings INGREDIENTS

¼ ⅓ 1 1 3

cup crème fraîche cup granulated sugar, divided cup cold heavy cream tsp. vanilla extract Tbs. Homemade Pink Food Coloring (at right) 2 cups chopped fresh strawberries 6 whole fresh strawberries

MAKE IT

1. In a large bowl, whisk together the crème fraîche and 3 Tbs. of the sugar until smooth. 2. In a separate large bowl, whip the cream with an electric mixer on medium speed until it reaches stiff peaks (tips stand up straight). 3. Add the whipped cream and vanilla to the bowl with the crème fraîche. Gently fold together until blended. Fold in the food coloring until evenly pink. 4. In a medium bowl, stir together the chopped strawberries with the remaining sugar. Divide the strawberries into six 6-oz. jelly jars or juice glasses. 5. Thinly slice 3 fresh strawberries and press slices firmly into glasses just above the chopped strawberries.

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8 1½

Homemade Pink Food Coloring Active Time 10 minutes Total Time 10 minutes Makes ⅔ cup

Stir this all-natural dye into yogurt, whipped cream, or frosting a teaspoon at a time to reach your desired color. INGREDIENTS

2 cups frozen raspberries MAKE IT

1. Place the raspberries in a medium bowl and microwave on high for 1½ minutes. Use a fork to stir and smash the raspberries. 2. With the back of a spoon, press raspberries through a fine-mesh sieve; discard seeds. Store in the refrigerator. Freeze leftovers in an ice-cube tray for future use. NUTRITION PER TEASPOON 5 calories; 0 protein; 0 fat (0 sat. fat); 1g carbs; 1g fiber; 0 sugar; 0 iron; 2mg calcium; 0 sodium

Spoon the cream mixture on top. 5. To make the garnish, use a paring knife to cut a V-shaped notch across the top of each whole strawberry (removing the stems in the process). Cut each strawberry

½ 1 ½

MAKE IT

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper. 2. Lightly dust a work surface with flour. Use a rolling pin to roll the piecrust into a 13-in.-diameter circle. Cut 16 hearts into the pie dough using a 2½-in. heart-shaped cookie cutter. 3. Use a spatula to transfer 8 of the hearts to the baking sheet. Spoon 1 tsp. jam onto the center of each of the 8 hearts. Spread the jam across the dough, leaving a ⅓-in. border. Lightly brush the borders with milk. Transfer the remaining 8 pieces of pie dough to top the jam-covered hearts, being sure the edges line up. Use the tines of a fork to seal the edges of the dough. 4. Bake about 18 minutes or until the tarts are golden brown around the edges with the tops just beginning to brown. Remove from oven and let cool completely. 5. Make the frosting in a bowl by whisking together the powdered sugar, butter, 1½ tsp. milk, and food coloring until creamy and smooth. Spread the frosting over the tarts. NUTRITION PER TART 165 calories; 1g protein; 7g fat (3g sat. fat); 25g carbs; 0 fiber; 11g sugar; 0 iron; 4mg calcium; 133mg sodium

FOOD STYLING BY CLAUDIA FICCA. PROP STYLING BY CARLA GONZALEZ-HART.

DIY dye is simple to prep and easy to feel good about.

All-purpose flour for rolling the dough 14-oz. pkg. refrigerated piecrust (1 crust) or 8 oz. homemade pie dough tsp. raspberry jam tsp. milk plus additional for brushing cup powdered sugar Tbs. unsalted butter, softened tsp. Homemade Pink Food Coloring (at left)

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make it

very useful valentines Delight your child’s friends with these adorable greetings made from school supplies—they’re as easy as A-B-C!

Sweet Rides Transform a pink eraser into a race car with washi tape, two pieces cut from a black plastic straw for wheels, and enamel dot stickers for headlights ($4 for 60; Michaels stores). You can cut another eraser to make the top of the car. Then, have your child color in a windshield with a silver paint pen. Attach the top of the car and wheels with double-stick tape. Use more tape to attach the racer to a piece of cardstock marked with your message.

Write Idea Cut a piece of colored lined paper (about 5”x 1”) and wrap it around the eraser end of a pencil, securing the paper with glue. Snip the glued paper into a flag shape for the note.

Love Monsters Wrap a small piece of wool roving (Clover Natural Wool Roving, $4.50; joann.com) around one end of a paper clip; put a small dab of glue inside the wrapped material to secure. Glue on googly eyes and heart stickers to create the face.

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crafts by ASHLEY TOTH

photographs by DANE TASHIMA

PROP STYLING BY CARLA GONZALEZ-HART.

Caterpillar Cutie Cut a piece of colored poster board to 2”x 20”. Fold the paper accordion-style every 2 inches. With scissors, round the corners of each 2” section to make the accordion sections into a circle, but don’t cut completely through the folds. Cut a 1.5”x ¼” rectangular slit in the middle of all the circles, except for the end one. Slide the folded poster board over a ruler, unfolding as you go. The uncut circle should point down (this will be the face). Have your child decorate with stickers and chenille stems, and write a message on washi tape.

LOVE IS COMPLICATED. SIMPLE and Sweet Lärabar Bites are not. Food Made From Food.™

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learning lessons

raise a science lover Schools still aren’t devoting enough resources to this critical subject, but you can bring science to life with these hands-on ideas.

averages around two hours per week, and in some districts it isn’t taught at all until middle school. “The intense focus on math and reading in recent years has crowded biology, chemistry, and physics out of the grade-school classroom,” says Janice Earle, former program officer at the National Science Foundation. Even when these subjects are taught, teachers tend to have little training and lack the resources to lead experiments, which are crucial for sparking interest in science. No wonder only about a third of fourthgraders have a solid grasp of scientific principles, according to the most recent national assessment. If that doesn’t concern you, it should. A report by the President’s Council of Advisors on Science and Technology found that we need to increase the number of students who receive science-related college degrees by 34 percent annually during the next decade simply to keep up with economic demand. Encourage your child’s teachers and principal, as well as district leaders, to add more science instruction to the curriculum. Since budgets are likely to be an obstacle, you’ll boost the odds of success if you can offer a solution that’s cheap—or, even better, free. Maybe you can find a geologist who’s willing to lead field trips, or organize parent volunteers to help run workshops. If lobbying and organizing aren’t your style, there are still plenty of ways to inspire your own child to fall in love with science. Follow these steps to help unlock her inner Madame Curie.

by MICHELLE CROUCH

Go beyond the

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to hear that her class studies science for only one hour each week. When I searched for stats to make the case that this wasn’t as much as other schools, I pretty much came up empty. Surveys show that science instruction in elementary schools

Three out of four Nobel Prize winners in science discovered their passion outside a school environment, according to an analysis published in Education Week. So seek out extracurricular activities with a focus on scientific exploration. Many

REAL444/GETTY.

classroom. MY THREE KIDS are natural-born scientists. They’re full of questions, always experimenting to see how things work, and mesmerized by watching a tiny ant carrying a morsel of food. So when my daughter, Stella, started kindergarten, I was shocked

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learning lessons

elementary schools offer afterschool opportunities to delve into subjects such as robotics and forensics. Check out the offerings at your local YMCA, 4-H organization, or recreation center. Coding classes and clubs are also sprouting up around the country as educators and parents realize that coding promotes analysis, problem solving, and creativity (see “Toys for Future Coders,” on page 60). If you can’t find anything near you, consider doing it yourself. That’s what Ana Mosser did. An environmental engineer, she approached the after-school coordinator at her son’s school in Thermopolis, Wyoming, who invited her to run a science club. “I’d go online and find experiments,” she says. The club wound up being so popular that the school district made Mosser’s workshops a regular part of the curriculum.

called “mods” help them learn programming basics as they play.

Say yes to video games. Angry Birds won’t help your kid win a future science fair, but Minecraft might. That’s because this wildly popular game has helped spark grade-schoolers’ interest in the science of coding. Minecraft lets them customize complex worlds using virtual building blocks, while educational add-ons

Explore together. Don’t know much about biology? No worries. Science isn’t so much about answers as the journey to find them. “The number-one thing you can do is share your curiosity with your child,” says Traci Wierman, who does curriculum outreach for The Lawrence Hall of Science, at the

4 science sites we love Check out these fun online learning opportunities. 1. Spangler Science Club You’ll find tons of cool experiments created by Steve Spangler, as well as simple explanations for each. Ages 5 and up; stevespangler science.com 2. Little Clickers A portal that helps your child follow his

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interest, whether it’s submarines, magic tricks, roller coasters, or dozens of other subjects. Ages 6 and up; littleclickers.com 3. Pink Engineer This free game teaches girls STEM principles by having them develop, design, and market their own

virtual cosmetics products. Ages 8 and up; pinkthink.org, click “engineering” tab 4. Brain Pop Jr. Subscribers can watch educational movies about everything from astronomy to digital animation. Ages 5 and up, $9 per month; brainpop.com

University of California, Berkeley. “Wonder out loud what kind of bird is in that tree or why the light is bouncing off the water, and then take the time to learn about it.” Subscribe to magazines such as National Geographic Kids and Ranger Rick Jr., and watch science-themed TV shows like Design Squad, Sid the Science Kid, and SciGirls. Check out books on subjects your child is curious about, whether it’s animals or the weather. And if she squeals when she sees a huge spider, get out a magnifying glass and take a look, suggests Wierman. “You might ask, ‘What pattern do you see on its body? Did it catch anything in its web?’ ”

Take field trips. When a group of Google Science Fair finalists was asked what had most influenced their interest in the subject, many said “making trips to the local science museum as a kid.” Follow their lead and plan to visit one while you’re on vacation (go to parents.com/science-centers to

The interactive exhibits at your local science center may blow your kid’s mind.

says touring a local wind-turbine company made a big impression on her oldest son, Charlie. “The place was full of huge machines and the person giving the tour said, ‘These are like toys for adults.’ After that, Charlie became excited about pursuing engineering as a career.”

science gear you already have When it comes to gadgets for boosting your child’s interest, less is more. Start with these.

GIRLS: PRISCILLA GRAGG.

Combat stereotypes.

see our ten favorites). Outings to aquariums, botanical gardens, zoos, and state or national parks can also bring scientific principles to life. Make sure you’re using the time wisely. “It’s better to spend half an hour deeply engaged with one scientific idea,” Wierman says. “Slow down, go at your child’s pace, and talk about what he’s seeing.” Becoming a member at your local science center can help you avoid feeling the pressure to do everything at once. Maybe one day all you do is watch the busy honeybees. During the next visit you might learn about electricity or sign up for a coding class. Also don’t overlook less formal learning opportunities. Many towns have a water-treatment plant or construction site to tour. “See if you can find out what’s under the floor at an ice-skating rink or behind the pins at a bowling alley,” suggests David Heil, editor of Family Science. Michelle McFadden, a mom of four in East Montpelier, Vermont,

To fight the false impression that science is boring or strictly for brainiacs, remind your child that she uses it daily. Baking is a lesson in chemistry, building with blocks involves physics, and asking questions—every child’s favorite thing to do—is exactly what leads to scientific breakthroughs. While studies show that about as many girls as boys have a positive attitude toward science in elementary school, boys are twice as likely to be interested in technology, science, and math by eighth grade. “If you have a daughter, encourage her to learn about dinosaurs and tinker with computers,” says Carol Tang, Ph.D., executive director of the Children’s Creativity Museum, in San Francisco. Introduce your kid to engineers, doctors, and biologists too. It may happen naturally (“Did you know that Olivia’s mom is a veterinarian? She can tell you all about her job”). If not, invite a bona fide scientist to lead a fun activity with your child’s Brownie or Cub Scout troop. My family has a tradition called “Sunday Science.” Every week, we do a different experiment, whether it’s using balloon rockets to explain the concept of thrust or going outside and (carefully, wearing goggles!) turning a bottle of cola into a foaming geyser by dropping in Mentos mints. Each experiment takes only about 15 minutes to complete, the kids love it, and I’ve got to admit: My husband and I have a great time too.

Magnifying Glass Better than a microscope for kids under age 8, it’s portable and perfect for investigating little creatures and looking at leaves.

Flashlight Teach your child about light and shadows. Shine it on something translucent (like paper) and opaque (like a book). Or, see if he can aim the beam at a mirror and have it hit a specific object in the room.

Screwdriver and Pliers Your child can take apart broken clocks, CD players, and other devices under your supervision. It’s a hands-on way to learn how things work.

Eyedropper Using small containers of water colored with food dye, mix drops of different colors in a white ice-cube tray, and watch how they change.

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learning lessons

toys for future coders

WIN! We’re giving away a toy every day at parents.com/ wintoys. For details see page 106.

Coding isn’t only for big kids, and the basics—like learning cause and effect and problem solving—don’t have to be mastered on a computer. These picks will get your child thinking like a real programmer.

IF THIS, THEN THAT CHAIN OF COMMAND ON THE RIGHT PATH Learning Resources Code & Go Robot Mouse set’s changing board challenges kids to direct the critter to cheese. 5 years+, $60; toysrus.com

BIT BY BIT

WIRED TO BE CHARMING

The Kano Computer Kit has your kid build the hardware and program the software. 6 years+, $150 plus $150 for screen (or use one at home); bn.com

Free apps for iOS, Android, or Fire let kids turn Wonder Workshop’s Dot into a customized Magic 8 Ball and more. 6 years+, $50; store.makewonder.com

TWO APPS TO TRY!

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Osmo’s Coding Game adds on to its iPad-based system. Your kid orders actions for a monster, then watches a story unfold. 5 years+, $49 plus $79 for Osmo Starter Kit; amazon.com

Your child commands the Mover Kit, from Technology Will Save Us, to light up when and how she wants. 8 years+, $75; techwillsaveus.com

Learn C++ Pro is a tutorial used by adults; we think kids 8 and up can do it! 4 years+, free; iOS and Android GoldieBlox: Adventures in Coding has cupcake-themed puzzles. 6 years+, $3; iOS

PETER ARDITO.

As simple as it gets! Color-match one of the figures to the correct spot on Kid O’s Myland Houseboat tub toy and a light goes on. Place the other correctly to sound the horn. 2 years+, $45; fatbraintoys.com

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baby bloopers

quirky quotes from kids I was telling my son that when he gets older, he will have to cook for himself. He responded, “So I get to push the microwave buttons?” Laura Houston; Eugene, OR DAVID, 3

MADISON, 2 One morning I found my daughter pouring all the pennies from her piggy bank into the sink. When I asked what in the world made her do that, she responded, “I heard you tell Daddy you’re tired of pouring money down the drain. I wanted to see how much would fit down ours.” Caitlin Renee; Seaford, DE

My son accompanied me to a convenience store; a sign posted there said, “No shoes, no shirt, no service.” Skye read this and asked, “What about no pants? So we can go in with no pants?” Mai Ka Xiong; Milwaukee, WI

SKYE, 9

ARABELLE, 3 During a coffee date with my neighbor, my daughter shared that I had a lot of private time. I told my neighbor that I didn’t have nearly enough; then Arabelle interjected, “Yes you do! I heard you and Daddy last night!” Jessica Shannon; Cheyenne, WY

As I was feeding my newborn from a bottle, my son asked, “What are you giving her? Rest milk?” I replied that it was called breast milk, and he quickly popped back, “No, it’s REST milk. That’s why it makes her go to sleep.”

ZANE, 5

Amy Henderson; Greenville, MS

CLAIRE, 3 My daughter asked for a snack, so I asked what she wanted. She responded, “Damn crackers!” It wasn’t until she said, “You know, you dip them in milk?” that I realized she meant graham crackers. Amanda Rivera; West Wendover, NV

crack us up & win! Your funny story could appear on this page and you could win a $50 gift card from kids’ clothing company Crazy 8. Plus, you could also win the Parents Best of Bloopers grand prize—a $500 gift card from Crazy 8. Find out how to enter and see the abbreviated rules on page 106.

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You told her what some kids do in there... she did it anyway.

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you.

HAIR AND MAKEUP BY DIANE DA SILVA.

F I N D YO U R H E A LT H Y, H A P P Y M O M P L A C E

red alert If you’ve always shied away from wearing bold red lipstick, it’s time to reconsider. Revlon’s amazing Super Lustrous Love Is On Lipstick ($8; ulta.com) promises to complement every skin tone so you always get a perfect match. And no, the fact that we’re recommending something that’s guaranteed to make your lips look good right around Valentine’s Day is not a coincidence. Mwah!

photograph by THAYER ALLYSON GOWDY

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looking good

passport to pretty Moms from countries known for their beauty rituals share the secrets to maintaining healthy skin at any age. by HOLLY C. CORBETT

Skin this glowing in one step? It’s possible!

KOREA

Take a dose of hyaluronic acid for a dewy complexion. In Korean culture, caring for your complexion is ingrained in girls practically from birth. Nuy Cho, editor-in-chief of Modern Luxury Hawaii, recalls as a kid watching her mom perform an intricate cleansing ritual every night that involved steaming, masks, toners, serums, and moisturizers. Not exactly practical, but Cho does recommend using a product that contains a key skin-plumping agent from her mom’s routine: hyaluronic acid. Look for it in one of South Korea’s most popular beauty imports, the sheet mask. Our pick: Karuna Age-Defying+ Face Mask ($28 for a four-pack; ulta.com).

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Count on coconut to keep your skin in prime condition. In Brazil women show lots of skin, so it has to look good. Brazilians turn to ingredients found in the Amazon rain forest—coconut oil in particular—to get their skin glowing from head to toe. “Coconut oil is rich in fatty acids, which makes it an amazing hydrator,” says Wanda Malhotra, cofounder of beauty brand Surya Brasil. Brazilians also exfoliate with ground coconut bark, which you’ll find in Surya Brasil Sapien Women Body Scrub ($37; suryabrasil.com).

WOMAN: ZHANG JINGNA/TRUNK ARCHIVE. BEAUTY PRODUCTS: PETER ARDITO.

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looking good

HUNGARY

FRANCE

Add mineral water to reduce inflammation. Hungary’s famous thermal baths are said to have healing powers, and scientific research on one particular mineral in the water—magnesium— seems to back up this claim. “Recent studies show that magnesium supplementation helps treat skin disorders like acne and rosacea,” says Dendy Engelman, M.D., a dermatologist in New York City. Not surprising then that magnesium-rich mineral water is a key part of the treatments done by many facialists, including Eva Sik, owner of European Facials by Eva, in Winter Park, Florida. She uses Éminence Organic Skin Care Stone Crop Hydrating Mist ($38; buynaturalskincare.com).

Raise a glass to resveratrol. This compound found in the skin of red grapes has been shown to help skin cells fight the oxidative damage that leads to wrinkles and sagging. “Many French women drink red wine every day because we know that what we put in our body shows on our skin,” says Leslie Couanon-Fasulo, an aesthetician in Coral Springs, Florida, who is originally from France. Why not follow suit? (Preferably with your feet up.)

Reveal brighter skin with rice powder.

tour the latest beauty technology Here’s hoping these clever fixes will be available stateside soon. Italy Sephora stores in Milan launched a 3-D Augmented Reality Mirror where customers see themselves on a live video monitor and “try on” multiple eyeshadow colors.

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Brazil The Esmalte Machine can whip up more than 100,000 shades of nail polish on the spot so you never have to spend your precious free time searching for the perfect color.

Sweden Beauty brand Foreo is developing an at-home device called Moda that takes a 3-D scan of your face and applies your makeup in 30 seconds.

WOMAN: LISE-ANNE MARSAL/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

JAPAN

In Japan, geishas—who today still entertain social groups through singing and dancing—are experts in skin care. Victoria Tsai, founder of the Japanese-inspired beauty company Tatcha, discovered this firsthand after studying geishas’ beauty secrets. “Each night, they carefully remove their makeup and polish their skin like a jewel,” Tsai says. Rice powder—a Japanese diet staple—is the exfoliator of choice because of its fine texture. You can take Tsai’s signature blend for a test run with the travel-size version of Tatcha Polished Classic Rice Enzyme Powder ($15; sephora.com).

you

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health news

Wearing SPF may block some of the sun’s vitamin D—that’s why supplementing is key.

100% How much a woman’s risk of developing ovarian cancer increases if she douches —National Institutes of Health

Going off birth control may affect more than your fertility—if the contraceptive has estrogen, your vitamin D levels could drop, suggests a recent study. Researchers at the National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences took blood samples from women ages 23 to 34 and found that those who weren’t using birth control or were using a form without estrogen had vitamin D levels that were 20 percent lower than women taking estrogen-based pills. “We don’t yet have an explanation for the

findings, so further research is needed,” says lead study author, Quaker Harmon, M.D., Ph.D. If you’ve stopped birth control to get pregnant, ask your ob-gyn to check your levels. Vitamin D is integral to the development of a baby’s bones and teeth, so it’s important that women who are pregnant or trying to conceive get enough. The recommended daily value is 600 IU for all healthy women, but many experts say that’s too little. Be sure to discuss dosing with your doctor.

A Healthy Dinner—in Minutes! When the kids are chowing down on chicken fingers and you want more sophisticated fare, reach for an EatingWell frozen entrée. Our sister magazine’s new line includes eight guilt-free takes on comfort foods, including Vermont Cheddar Mac & Cheese made with whole-grain cavatappi and Creamy Pesto Chicken made with 9-grain orzo. Each dish has fewer than 350 calories, at least 13 grams of protein, and 1 cup of veggies. $3.49 to $4.49; available at most large supermarkets

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If you rang in 2017 with the goal to exercise more but haven’t followed through, you can get back on track with these tips from healthmotivation expert Kelly Morrow-Baez, Ph.D. Go slow at first. “Our mind is designed to steer us away from pain, so if you do too much too fast and it hurts, you’re less likely to stick with it,” says Dr. Morrow-Baez. Start by power walking for ten minutes a day. Once that becomes easy, try jogging for half the time. Be introspective. Ask “why” you want this change. Your odds of success are higher if it’s tied to an emotion, like sadness, rather than an idea that can vanish when your resolve wanes, says Dr. MorrowBaez. If you’re upset you haven’t knocked off the baby weight, use that as motivation to keep going. Stay on schedule. Learning to say “no” to others (including your kids!) can help you say “yes” to your workout plans more often.

WOMAN: MARTIN NOVAK/GETTY. WEIGHTS: BLUESTOCKING/GETTY.

A Case for More Vitamin D

Your Fitness Resolution, Take Two

Scientiﬁc evidence suggests, but does not prove, that eating 1.5 ounces per day of most nuts, such as almonds, as part of a diet low in saturated fat and cholesterol may reduce the risk of heart disease. A one-ounce handful has 13g of unsaturated fat and only 1g of saturated fat.

heart-healthy, one-ounce handful.

Learn more at Almonds.com.

CRUNCH ON

•

staying healthy

test your nutrition IQ Think you know your stuff when it comes to healthy eating? You might be surprised. by SALLY KUZEMCHAK, R.D. TAKE OUR QUIZ

1. Which of these statements is true? A. Brown eggs are better for you

than white eggs. B. Brown bread is better for you than

white bread. C. Brown sugar is better for you than white sugar. D. None of the above

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2. The label on your chocolatechip granola bar says that it contains 16 grams of sugar. That’s the equivalent of how many teaspoons? A. 4 teaspoons B. 16 teaspoons C. 1 teaspoon D. 8 teaspoons E. 32 teaspoons

3. The average American adult eating 2,000 calories a day should have no more than how many teaspoons of added sugar, according to the latest Dietary Guidelines for Americans? A. 12 teaspoons B. 20 teaspoons C. 4 teaspoons D. No amount of added sugar is okay.

photographs by TARA DONNE

PROP STYLING BY NIDIA CUEVA. FOOD STYLING BY JERRIE-JOY FOR PAT BATES AND ASSOCIATES.

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you

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staying healthy

10. What is the most effective diet for weight loss? A. Low-fat B. High-protein C. High-carb D. None of the above

11. True or False: Eating six small meals throughout the day is better for you than eating three larger meals.

12.

True or False: Coconut oil is rich in heart-healthy fats.

13.

True or False: A gluten-free diet can help most people lose weight and have more energy.

14. True or False: Most adult women don’t get enough protein every day.

ANSWERS:

4. Which of these is not rich in

whole grains?

Which of these foods does not contain carbs?

A. Quick-cook oats B. Multigrain bread C. Wild rice D. Air-popped popcorn

A. Fat-free milk B. Green peas C. Olive oil D. Gluten-free bagels

5. You see the claim “All Natural” on a package. That means:

A. No hormones or antibiotics

Which of these is a myth?

A. Raw vegetables are more

nutritious than cooked ones.

were used. B. No artificial flavors, added color, or synthetic substances were used. C. No pesticides were used. D. All of the above

B. Sea salt contains less sodium than

6. Per half cup, which of these has the most fiber?

9. How many cups of vegetables should adult women eat every day?

A. Cooked oatmeal B. Broccoli C. Raspberries D. Cooked lentils

A. 1/2 cup B. 1 cup C. 2 cups D. 21/2 cups

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Give yourself one point for every correct answer. 1. D–None of the above A brown color may convey “wholesome,” but don’t be fooled. Brown eggs are simply laid by a different breed of chicken than white eggs. Unless it’s labeled “whole grain,” brown bread may just be white bread with caramel coloring. And brown sugar is white sugar mixed with molasses.

regular table salt. C. Organic food contains more

nutrients than conventional. D. All of the above

2. A–4 teaspoons Here’s a quick label-reading hack: Divide the grams of sugar by four to get the teaspoon equivalents. Remember that it’s only added sugar that’s a health concern. Dairy (like plain yogurt), vegetables, and fruit contain natural sugar. 3. A–12 teaspoons It’s wise to keep your added sugar intake to no more

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staying healthy

than 10 percent of your total daily calories, according to the latest Dietary Guidelines for Americans. That’s 200 if you're eating 2,000 calories a day.

4. B–Multigrain bread Oats (even quick cook), wild rice, and popcorn are all considered whole grains. That means none of the grain has been stripped out during processing, which equals more fiber and vitamins and as much as 25 percent more protein than refined grains. Just because a bread package touts “multigrain” doesn’t mean any of those grains are actually whole. For the real deal, look for a loaf labeled “whole-grain bread” and the word whole in the first ingredient.

5. B–No artificial flavors, synthetic

what your score means 11 to 14 points You’re a nutrition superstar. Rock on! When it comes to food marketing and fad diets, you don’t believe the hype. Label reading? You’re crushing it. You know where to find whole grains and how many veggies you need every day. Bravo.

6 to 10 points You’ve got some nutrition know-how. Not bad! You have a totally respectable knowledge base. Just brush up on a few key points so you don’t fall for dubious diet trends or confusing claims on food packages.

substances, or added color were used. “Natural” is a food-package

0 to 5 points You could use a nutrition refresher.

buzzword, so it doesn’t mean much—only that the product doesn’t contain added color, artificial flavors, or synthetic substances. Natural does not imply anything about how the food was raised.

Hey, it happens! There’s a lot of misinformation out there, so it’s easy to be misled. Arm yourself with the facts and you’ll be able to make better choices in the grocery store and on your plate.

6. D–Cooked lentils All of these foods are good sources of fiber, but protein-powerhouse lentils take the cake (so to speak). Each half-cup serving packs 8 grams of fiber—about a third of your daily fiber needs.

7. C–Olive oil Most people think pasta, bread, and other grains when it comes to carbs. But carbohydrates are in fruit, veggies, and dairy products too (only fats and most meats are carb-free). And “glutenfree” doesn’t mean “carb-free” either. G-free grains contain carbs in the form of starches and flours. 8. D–All of the above Well, mostly. Although there are a couple of exceptions on the raw-vegetable

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front, you can actually get more health-boosting plant compounds from many veggies—such as tomatoes and carrots—when they’re cooked. By weight, sea salt and table salt have the exact same amount of sodium (the difference is that sea salt granules may be bigger, so fewer of them fit on a teaspoon). And there’s very little evidence that organic food contains more nutrients than conventional.

9. D–2½ cups That’s the amount recommended by the Dietary Guidelines for women under age 51, but only about 30 percent of women are hitting the mark.

10. D–None of the above In a review of the most popular diets, researchers from the University of Toronto found no significant differences in weight loss among them—and concluded that the best diet is simply the one you can stick to over the long term. 11. False There’s no definitive research showing that smaller, more frequent meals result in better weight management, weight loss, or health. So follow the pattern that works best for you. 12. False Coconut oil is rich in saturated fat, which is not generally considered heart-healthy. While the specific type of saturated fat in coconut oil—lauric acid—hasn’t been found to raise your cholesterol levels, there’s no proof it’s good for your health in the way that mono or polyunsaturated fats like olive oil and corn oil are. So use it if you like the flavor, but stock olive oil too. 13. False If you’re among the approximately 1 percent of Americans diagnosed with celiac disease, a gluten-free diet is a must to avoid intestinal damage. Other people may have sensitivity to gluten—the proteins found in wheat, rye, and barley—and feel better without it. But there’s not a single published study showing that a gluten-free diet results in weight loss, says a research review in the Journal of the American Academy of Physician Assistants.

14. False Each day, the average woman eats an extra 1 to 2 ounces of protein-rich foods (like meat, poultry, and eggs) beyond what’s recommended. Plus, protein is found in other foods such as grains, dairy, nuts, and veggies, so it’s not hard to get enough.

goodstuff MUST-HAVES & MUST-DOS FOR MOM & FAMILY

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Crunch into Delicious California Almonds California Almonds are a satisfying snack grown by farmers in California’s Central Valley. Visit Almonds.com to learn more. almonds.com

Join the Parents Talk Back Reader Panel Become a member of our free reader panel for the exciting opportunity to win special prizes, enter sweepstakes and contests, test new products, try free samples, and much more! parents.com/readerpanel

Our Philosophy on Pain Management Listening to you and partnering in your care is at the heart of our holistic approach. We are doctors of osteopathic medicine. DoctorsThatDO.org

Eucerin is the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Baby Lotion Eucerin Baby Lotions’ Natural Shea Butter enriched lotion leaves baby’s delicate skin feeling soft, smooth, and moisturized all day.

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you

•

first person

Meg with Ethan, now 14, Savanna, 10, and Charlie, 11

a rare condition, a beautiful legacy “WHAT did you say? Ectodumptily?” I was in the final months of my senior year of college, at my doctor’s office to get a physical so I could enter law school in the fall. “No, Meg,” the doctor told me. “Your hands and feet are like that due to a condition that’s called ectrodactyly.” “It sounds like a type of dinosaur,” I quipped. Believe it or not, until that day I had no idea that my physical

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difference even had a name. I was the first in my family to have only one finger on each hand, shortened forearms, and one toe on each foot. The doctors my parents had consulted both in the U.S. and abroad after I was born didn’t know what to call it. Strangers assumed my mother must have taken thalidomide, a drug for morning sickness that was later found to cause severe birth defects. However, I thought that my differences were just a fluke caused

by a random mutation that would begin and end with me. I never considered myself disabled. I grew up in a loving family, played the trombone and sang publicly, was surrounded by friends, and was selected for the Homecoming Court in college. Outwardly, I was determined to ignore my difference and expected everyone else to also. Underneath, though, I alternated between denial and self-loathing. I would shove my hands into my

PHOTOGRAPHS COURTESY OF MEG ZUCKER.

I’d dreaded the possibility that my kids would inherit my difference, but my love for them changed my perspective. by MEG ZUCKER

How a simple sheet of paper can be a powerful instrument of peace. Putting thoughts on paper can be a powerful way to express feelings, heal and inspire. We asked five people whose lives have been touched by violence or cruelty to write Letters of Peace that reflect their enduring faith in humanity. Meet the authors, read their letters and learn more about the power of paper. Visit howlifeunfolds.com/lettersofpeace | #lettersofpeace

From the Makers of Paper and Packaging

you

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first person

pockets whenever a camera flashed or strangers extended their hand in greeting. When I graduated from college, my biggest fear wasn’t about the poor job market but whether any man would be willing to marry me. Most men were perfectly friendly but would usually place me in the “friend zone.” When I met my husband, John, I was still focused on a recent breakup and doubted this new rebound relationship would go anywhere. To my surprise, not only did John commit for the long haul, but his parents and siblings offered us unhesitating support. Although marrying John answered one crucial question, it didn’t resolve my other big worry. Having a baby born like me would force me to face my lot in life and strip away the cloak of normalcy behind which I hid. I never knew for sure whether ectrodactyly was genetic until we saw a geneticist, who told us matter-of-factly that we had a 50-50 chance of having a baby with my condition. John reacted to the news as if it were something he’d always considered possible, but I was a complete mess. Behind every birth defect is the question of “Why?” and not far behind that is “Who’s to blame?” Even if John could forgive me, I was afraid that our child wouldn’t. He would resent me. He would even hate me. In turn, I would hate myself. So I decided not to believe the doctor’s grim odds, since none of my other relatives had the condition. Getting pregnant wasn’t easy. Yet after three miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy, we finally got pregnant with our oldest child, Ethan. During my 20-week sonogram, I glanced at the screen and felt terror. Fighting tears, I peered at the tiny image with a single finger on each hand, and two toes on each foot. John gently put his arm around my shoulders as I began to digest the information. He spoke to the doctor,

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“When Ethan was born, my instinct was to keep him swaddled with his one-fingered hands covered.”

Ethan inherited ectrodactyly, and almost three years later, Charlie was born with the condition. The next year, they welcomed sister Savanna.

but all I could hear were voices from my childhood: “Why do you look like that?” and “Why were you born with only one finger?” I thought my life was over. How could I raise a child who shared my disfigurement? That was the irony. When Ethan was born, my initial instinct was to keep him swaddled tight with his one-fingered hands covered. But it was late June, and he didn’t like being wrapped in a warm blanket. So as passersby peeked at our baby, I had no choice but to let them stare and offer a strange smile. I realized that I had no reason to be ashamed of my son, and as time went on, I became incapable of it. Once I let go of my fears about what others were thinking of him, something incredible happened, something exhilarating. It was like a personal seismic shift. I stopped hiding my own hands in public and even in pictures. Less than three years later, Ethan’s younger brother, Charlie, was born. The fact that he shared our condition was no longer a terrible sentence in my eyes but something that would bond us. Seventeen months later, we adopted our daughter, Savanna, at birth. I hope that the positive impact of having a mother and brothers who have learned to truly accept themselves is a lesson that will serve her well too. Over the years, I began to think beyond our own family’s circumstances. Although our particular condition is rare, I knew that I could help other parents faced with raising children with differences. I started a nonprofit organization called Don’t Hide It, Flaunt It, which works to advance understanding, tolerance, and respect. The condition that I passed on genetically feels like a gift to us now instead of a source of shame. By loving our sons, physical imperfections and all, I finally learned to love myself.

AN X-RAY DOESN’T SEE YOU AS A PERSON.

I DO.

Before reading an X-ray, a DO sees a human being. Doctors of Osteopathic Medicine practice their distinct philosophy in every medical specialty. A DO is trained to consider the whole person, not just the symptom.

Learn more at DoctorsThatDO.org

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home.

COURTESY OF YORK WALLCOVERINGS.

G E T YO U R L I F E I N O R D E R

frame job Get the luxe look of wallpaper without the expense of papering a whole room. Start by covering a section of wall in your chosen print (shown here: York Wallcoverings DwellStudio Baby + Kids Animal Blocks, $42/roll; wayfair.com). Then cut molding (available at home-improvement stores) to size with a miter saw and nail it to the wall to serve as a frame. The results will be prettier than a picture!

FEBRUARY 2017

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home

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solutions

Clever Ideas for Nail Polish Make Your Fridge Even Cooler Think your family’s ready for a refrigerator refresh? Steal this idea from designer Lauren Liess—transform an outdated one with chalkboard paint! It’s a costeffective way to update a tired-looking appliance. First, clean the fridge’s exterior and remove the handles. Sand the surface with fine-grit sandpaper. Then, wipe with a damp rag, let dry, and tape off the rubber seals. Apply two layers of chalkboard paint. Custom Comfort You won’t have to pinch pennies anymore to decorate your house in any pattern imaginable—from stripes to donuts. With newly launched Roostery, shoppers can turn 350,000 designs into items such as napkins, pillows, and furniture at affordable prices. roostery.com

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Before you toss that electric-blue nail polish you never got around to wearing, check out these simple and savvy ways to make use of it. Color-code keys. Decorate disposable glasses to help guests ID their drinks. Mark the insides of your kids’ shoes “R” and “L.” Refresh dull knobs with a poppy pattern. Paint phone-charger ends so you’ll know whose is whose. What’s Up Moms and Parents contributing editors Brooke Mahan, Meg Resnikoff, and Elle Walker take turns sharing their best mom tips and tricks on this page. Check out their hilarious videos on their WhatsUpMoms YouTube channel or go to parents.com/whatsupmoms for their series “Moms Confess.”

CHALKBOARD FRIDGE: HELEN NORMAN. WHAT’S UP MOMS: COURTESY OF WHAT’S UP MOMS. PILLOWS: COURTESY OF ROOSTERY.

by Brooke Mahan (left), of What’s Up Moms

buy it for bragging rights Some people buy a Moen for their top-rated customer service. Others buy Moen for their lifetime warranty. You? You bought Moen to turn them green with envy. SEE MORE at MOEN.COM ©2017. See moen.com for limited lifetime warranty details.

Align® Spring Faucet

vs. AN APPLIANCE SMACKDOWN! by FAITH DURAND

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photographs by YUNHEE KIM

home

In one corner, the well-loved veteran slow cooker. In the other, the newly popular but misunderstood pressure cooker. The winner? You decide.

•

family kitchen

Fast (or Slow) White-Bean Chili, page 95

Fast (or Slow) Moroccan Lamb Stew, page 92

Fast (or Slow) Barbecued Ribs, page 92

home

•

family kitchen

Slow or Speedy: Meet Your Appliance Match

I prefer to cook in the a.m.

Do you have the energy to learn a new appliance?

Our Food Editor’s Top Pots

I have more time in the evening.

Do you eat a lot of vegetarian food?

SAFETY PICK Fagor’s Twirlock 7-quart pressure cooker features a turn-to-lock handle and a heat indicator that alerts the user when the stovetop heat needs to be lowered. $100; macys.com

YES NOPE

SURE!

slow cooker

pressure cooker

A Pressure -Cooker Primer Don’t be afraid of this appliance! It’s just a sealed pot that traps steam as the food cooks. The pressure (and the temperature) rise inside the pot, making food cook fast. In the old days pressure cookers got a bad rep for exploding, but today’s models are totally safe and could change the way you cook. Here’s how it works. A pressure cooker has three phases: 1. PRESSURIZE Steam builds inside as the sealed pot is heated. 2. COOK The pot comes to pressure; this is when the cook time begins. 3. RELEASE Pressure cookers can slowly let off their pressure after cook time is complete with a natural pressure release. Or a cook can

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manually release the steam pressure (whoosh!) by opening a valve or pushing a button. Today’s models make the process easy and hands-off. Electric pressure cookers let you set the time and walk away. Stovetop pressure cookers work like electric ones do, except that the heat is applied by cooking over a stove burner, not by the machine.

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Total Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients :

Instructions :

1 pkg. Hillshire Farm® smoked sausage, diagonally sliced thin 2 cloves garlic, crushed ¼ cup olive oil 1 large red bell pepper, sliced thin 1 small yellow onion, sliced thin 1 pkg. frozen broccoli, thawed ½ cup chicken broth (or water) ½ cup tomato sauce 2 cups instant rice ½ cup shredded Mozzarella cheese

Heat olive oil and garlic in skillet, stir in smoked sausage slices and cook until browned. Add pepper, onion, broccoli, broth and tomato sauce and simmer for 10 minutes until the vegetables are tender and the liquid is absorbed. In the meantime, prepare rice according to package instructions. Stir rice into the skillet, sprinkle with cheese and serve.

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For easiest mixing, warm the ketchup, molasses, and mustard in the microwave.

RECIPES Make dinner on your time (for once): last-minute in the pressure cooker or all day in the slow cooker. These recipes play both sides; cook them fast or cook them slow.

INGREDIENTS

1¼ ¼ 3 1 1 1 1

Barbecued Ribs Active Time 15 minutes Total Time (pressure cooker) 1 hour 10 minutes Total Time (slow cooker) 5 hours 15 minutes (high) or 10 hours 15 minutes (low) Makes 8 servings

If you want to use a store-bought shortcut, look for a jarred barbecue sauce without too much sugar, such as Stubb’s Original. INGREDIENTS

2 1 1 1 ½ ½ 2

Tbs. brown sugar tsp. kosher salt tsp. dry mustard tsp. smoked paprika tsp. garlic salt tsp. black pepper racks (3 to 3½ lbs. each) baby back ribs, trimmed and cut into 4 pieces ½ cup beef broth 2 tsp. liquid smoke (optional) 2 cups Zingy Homemade Barbecue Sauce, or storebought sauce MAKE IT

1. In a small bowl stir together the brown sugar, kosher salt, dry mustard, smoked paprika, garlic salt, and pepper. Pat the ribs dry with paper towels and sprinkle with the spice mix. MAKE IT FAST

2. Place a steamer insert in a 6-qt. electric or stovetop pressure cooker. Add the beef broth and the liquid smoke, if using. Place half of the barbecue sauce in a separate bowl and generously coat each section of the ribs with the remaining sauce. Place the ribs in the pressure cooker. 3. Lock the lid in place. Set electric cooker on high pressure to cook

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cups ketchup cup mild-flavor molasses Tbs. Dijon-style mustard Tbs. cider vinegar Tbs. packed brown sugar Tbs. Worcestershire sauce Tbs. smoked paprika

MAKE IT

1. Whisk all ingredients together. Sauce keeps in the refrigerator for up to 1 month.

30 minutes. For stovetop cooker, bring up to pressure over mediumhigh heat; reduce heat enough to maintain steady pressure. Cook 30 minutes. Remove from heat. Let the pressure release naturally. Open the lid carefully. 4. Preheat broiler. Line a baking sheet with foil. Place ribs on the baking sheet and coat with remaining barbecue sauce. Broil for 3 to 5 minutes or until sauce is heated through. MAKE IT SLOW

2. Place the beef broth and liquid smoke, if using, in a 6-qt. slow cooker. Place half of the barbecue sauce in a separate bowl and generously coat each section of ribs with remaining sauce. Add ribs to the slow cooker. 3. Cook for 9 to 10 hours on low or 4½ to 5 hours on high or until ribs are very tender. 4. Broil ribs as instructed in Step 4 above. NUTRITION PER SERVING 562 calories; 41g protein; 32g fat (12g sat. fat); 23g carbs; 0 fiber; 21g sugar; 2mg iron; 97mg calcium; 888mg sodium

NUTRITION PER 2 TBS. 41 calories; 0 protein; 0g fat (0 sat. fat); 10g carbs; 0 fiber; 9g sugar; 0 iron; 15mg calcium; 269mg sodium

Moroccan Lamb Stew Active Time 15 minutes Total Time (pressure cooker) 1 hour 5 minutes Total Time (slow cooker) 3 hours 45 minutes (high) or 7 hours 15 minutes (low) Makes 6 servings

For even more flavorful meat, brown it before cooking. If you’re using a stovetop or electric pressure cooker, you can do it right in the pot. If slowcooking, use a skillet with olive oil. INGREDIENTS

2 lbs. lamb stew meat, cut into 1-in. chunks, trimmed of fat 3 Tbs. pomegranate molasses (optional) 2 Tbs. purchased Moroccan seasoning (ras el hanout), such as McCormick Gourmet Moroccan Seasoning 1 tsp. kosher salt 1 tsp. orange zest 1 tsp. lemon zest 1 large onion, thinly sliced (1 cup) 6 cloves garlic, smashed ¾ cup beef broth 4 cups cooked Israeli couscous Sliced almonds, toasted Fresh mint leaves (optional)

Zingy Homemade

MAKE IT

Barbecue Sauce

1. In a large bowl combine the lamb chunks, pomegranate molasses (if using), Moroccan seasoning, salt, orange zest, and lemon zest.

Active Time 5 minutes Total Time 5 minutes Makes 2 cups

G UAR A

8 hours to cook

8 seconds to clean Try Reynolds® Slow Cooker Liners, the easy way to make slow cooking even easier. Clean up in 8 seconds or less without soaking or scrubbing. Find this delicious Mexican Beef Stew recipe at ReynoldsKitchens.com

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family kitchen

MAKE IT FAST

2. Place the onion and garlic in a 6-qt. electric or stovetop pressure cooker. Pour in the beef broth. Stir in the lamb mixture. Lock the lid in place. Set electric cooker on high pressure to cook 25 minutes. For stovetop cooker, bring up to pressure over medium-high heat; reduce heat to maintain steady pressure. Cook 25 minutes. Remove from heat. Let the pressure release naturally for 15 minutes, then quick-release any remaining pressure. Open the lid carefully. Serve with couscous, almonds, and mint, if using. MAKE IT SLOW

2. Place the onion and garlic in a slow cooker. Pour in the beef broth. Stir in the lamb mixture. Cook for 6 to 7 hours on low or 3 to 3½ hours on high or until lamb is tender. Serve with couscous, almonds, and mint, if using. NUTRITION PER SERVING (with couscous) 393 calories; 37g protein; 10g fat (3g sat. fat); 37g carbs; 1g fiber; 1g sugar; 3mg iron; 42mg calcium; 392mg sodium

White-Bean Chili Active Time 20 minutes Total Time (pressure cooker) 2 hours Total Time (slow cooker) 11 hours 20 minutes (low) Makes 8 servings

Let everyone top their own bowl with sour cream, cilantro, smoked paprika, and/or chopped scallions. INGREDIENTS

1 lb. dried navy beans (2 cups) 1 large onion, chopped 1 medium red sweet pepper, chopped 1 4-oz. can diced mild green chiles 2 Tbs. olive oil 1 Tbs. chili powder 1 Tbs. ground cumin 4 cloves garlic, crushed 8 cups low-sodium vegetable broth 8 oz. (6 large leaves) collard greens, ribs removed and leaves chopped (3 cups)

1 14.5-oz. can fire-roasted diced tomatoes ¼ cup cornmeal 2 Tbs. cider vinegar 1 tsp. salt MAKE IT FAST

1. Combine the navy beans, onion, red pepper, green chiles, olive oil, chili powder, cumin, and garlic in a 6-qt. electric or stovetop pressure cooker. Add the vegetable broth. Lock the lid in place. Set the electric cooker on high pressure to cook 20 minutes. For the stovetop cooker, bring up to pressure over medium-high heat according to manufacturer’s directions; reduce heat to maintain steady pressure. Cook 20 minutes. Remove from heat. Let the pressure release naturally for 15 minutes, then quickly release any remaining pressure. Open the lid carefully. 2. Stir in the collard greens, tomatoes, cornmeal, cider vinegar, and salt. Lock the lid in place. Set the electric cooker on high pressure to cook 15 minutes. For the stovetop cooker, bring up to pressure over medium-high heat; reduce heat enough to maintain steady pressure. Cook 15 minutes. Remove from heat. Let the pressure release naturally for 15 minutes, then quickly release any remaining pressure. Open the lid carefully. MAKE IT SLOW

1. Combine the navy beans, onion, red pepper, green chiles, olive oil, chili powder, cumin, and garlic in a 6-qt. slow cooker. Add the vegetable broth. Cover and cook on low for 9 to 10 hours or until the beans are nearly tender. 2. Stir in the collard greens, tomatoes, cornmeal, cider vinegar, and salt. Cook 1 hour more or until the beans are tender. NUTRITION PER SERVING 290 calories; 15g protein; 5g fat (1g sat. fat); 49g carbs; 12g fiber; 8g sugar; 5mg iron; 162mg calcium; 617mg sodium

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ages + stages

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pregnancy

PREGNANCY

tummy troubles Your belly isn’t just getting bigger. Find out what else is going on in there and how to feel better fast. by KATE ROCKWOOD

AFTER NEARLY a year of trying to conceive, I embraced my earlypregnancy symptoms with glee. “My boobs are sore, and I’m exhausted!” I nearly shouted into the phone at my best friend. However, as time passed, there were also symptoms I was too embarrassed to mention—like gas so persistent that downward dog could only be done at home, and heartburn that felt like I was chasing every meal with a lit match. If only I’d realized this was par for the course: Nearly three out of four women experience gastrointestinal issues during pregnancy, and while there’s no magic cure, small changes can have a big impact.

Gas and Bloating Your ovaries are cranking out progesterone, a hormone that relaxes the uterine muscles and the smooth muscles of the gastrointestinal tract. This causes food to move through your body up to 30 percent more slowly than usual, giving the bacteria in your intestines extra time to break down sugars and polysaccharides and create gas. “Some women notice more flatulence, others notice bloating,” says Mary Rosser, M.D., Ph.D., director of obstetrics and

gynecology at Montefiore Medical Center, in Bronx, New York. GET RELIEF Cut out foods known to cause gas, like beans, cauliflower, and broccoli, and take an OTC digestive enzyme tablet, like Beano, which breaks down the sugars in vegetables and grains before they reach your colon. Staying active helps too. “A ten-minute walk after dinner can stimulate gastric motility, which tends to mean less gas,” says Karen Deighan, M.D., professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Loyola Medicine, in Illinois.

Constipation Progesterone’s gut-slowing effect is one big reason for this problem; mild dehydration is another. Many women have a hard time drinking enough water during the first trimester, when nausea tends to peak. Morning sickness often entails a steady diet of crackers and other low-fiber foods like bagels and white bread, which can make constipation worse. Prenatal vitamins may also make you feel blocked, as many contain iron, which can cause constipation. GET RELIEF “Any time you’re not battling nausea, sip water,” suggests Sarah Krieger, R.D.N., a nutrition

Check out our week-by-week pregnancy podcast! You can download it for free at parents .com/pregnancyconfidential. PA R E N T S

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consultant in St. Petersburg, Florida. Try to make a concerted effort to eat more fiber too; most of us get just half of the 25 daily grams that doctors recommend. Start your day with bran cereal, or sneak in surprising fiber sources, like raspberries, avocados, and popcorn. Finally, talk to your doctor about pairing your prenatal vitamin with an OTC stool softener, like Colase. Or ask if you can hold off on iron until your nausea eases.

Heartburn As your uterus grows, it compresses your stomach, causing acid to get pushed back up into your esophagus. The problem is exacerbated by progesterone, which relaxes the valve that serves as a barrier between your stomach and your throat. GET RELIEF Peppermint and chocolate tend to relax the valve even more, so avoiding them may help food stay where it belongs. Alcohol is another relaxant, but don’t assume you’re already in the clear because you’ve sworn off vodka tonics. “Sorbitol, which is common in sugarless chewing gum, is also a type of alcohol, and it can make heartburn worse,” says Sharon Holley, director of the nurse-midwifery faculty practice at Vanderbilt University, in Nashville. If you tend to eat a late dinner, try moving mealtime earlier. “The more time you can give your GI tract to move food along before you go to bed, the better,” says Dr. Rosser. For heartburn that keeps you awake, try propping yourself up with a pillow or two so gravity works in your favor. If diet and lifestyle tweaks aren’t enough, get the thumbs-up from your doc to use a calcium-based antacid, like Tums, or in more severe cases, Pepcid or Prilosec. And no matter which end ails you, rest assured: Most tummy troubles should improve swiftly after you give birth.

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baby

BABY 0-12 months

preemie primer An early arrival will need some extra TLC to adjust to the world. by MADONNA BEHEN

HAV I NG A BABY is always an emotional experience, but when your child arrives sooner than expected, the joy of finally meeting him is coupled with worries over his health and future. Whether you were prepared for the possibility that your child might be born before your due date or you gave birth prematurely without warning, the feelings of uncertainty are probably the same. And it’s far from an uncommon experience: About one in ten babies in the United States arrives prior to the 37th week of pregnancy, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. To quell your concerns, keep these considerations in mind.

Prepare to pump. You’ll likely be asked to pump as soon as possible after birth. Long before a newborn is able to drink by himself, a nurse can rub a few drops of colostrum on his tongue and gums to get breast milk’s immuneboosting benefits started. When he’s finally ready to take a bottle, his stomach will still be so small that he’ll only need a little. “One ounce of breast milk can last for two days at the beginning,” says Christine H. Sajous, M.D., neonatologist at Loyola University Medical Center, in Maywood, Illinois. Once you begin breastfeeding, keep in mind that a premature baby will feed much more slowly than a full-term infant, so be patient and allow adequate time for each new nursing session.

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You may be wondering why there’s such emphasis on nursing. “It’s incredibly beneficial for a premature newborn’s immune system, especially the initial colostrum,” says Dr. Sajous. Studies show that premature babies who are fed breast milk have fewer readmissions to the hospital following their discharge from the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) and show greater gains in cognitive development than formula-fed preemies do.

Protect your passenger. Before your baby is discharged, check the labels on the side of your car seat to make sure the minimum weight is appropriate for your preemie; not all seats can be used for babies under 5 pounds. At one time NICUs wouldn’t let a baby leave until she reached the 5-pound mark, but now many babies achieve stable health before reaching 5 pounds. “Your baby should also be evaluated when properly positioned in a car seat to ensure that she stays medically stable when she’s upright,” says Marilyn Bull, M.D., co-medical director of the Automotive Safety Program at Indiana University School of Medicine, in Indianapolis.

Clear the air. Several studies have shown that exposure to secondhand smoke can lead to numerous health problems, including decreased lung growth and function and an increased risk of respiratory infections—especially in preemies. Avoid letting smokers visit

your house, even if they don’t light up when they’re there, and keep your baby away from areas friendly to cigarette smoke.

Remember tummy time. Since a preemie spends most of his time on his back in the NICU, he needs several belly sessions a day at home. This will help him strengthen his neck, abs, back, and shoulder muscles so that he can learn to push up and eventually crawl, and it will reduce the odds that he’ll develop flat-head syndrome. “Putting your baby on your chest, skin to skin, while he’s awake is great for tummy time as well as bonding,” says Dr. Sajous.

Keep things calm. Bright lights and loud noises are more likely to upset preemies, who have been agitated by constant commotion in the NICU, explains Dr. Sajous. Make sure he gets quiet time. However, try not to let yourself be overly anxious.

Adjust your expectations. Don’t worry if your child doesn’t sit up at the same time as your friends’ babies do: They had a head start. When figuring out when your preemie might hit her milestones, use her adjusted age—how old she would have been if born full-term— until she turns 2. “If your child arrived two months early, she’d still be considered a newborn at 8 weeks,” says Dr. Sajous. Your child’s adjusted age is also important when making feeding decisions, such as when to start solids or finger foods. Parenting a premature baby can be more demanding than caring for a full-term infant, but even though she may need more frequent weight checks and feedings, don’t get so caught up in the challenges that you forget to have fun with her. You can still talk to her and snuggle just as you would with any other baby.

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toddler

Be prepared.

TODDLER 1-2 years

eating out Yes, you can go to a restaurant with your antsy child. We’ll help you handle whatever drama he dishes out. by BRETT HILL

SEVERAL YEARS ago my extended family shared a meal at a boisterous Italian restaurant. Even before our appetizers had arrived, my then 18-month-old nephew had spilled soda, played “guess which hand the sugar packet’s in,” gone on a walking tour of the dining room, dropped two forks, and tried to take off his shirt while in his high chair. As anyone with a 1- or 2-year-old knows, taking a toddler to a restaurant is no day at the beach (which, by the way, is no day at the beach either). He just doesn’t have the skill set yet. Your little guest finds it difficult to sit still, is prone to tantrums, and likely has a limited interest in new cuisine, says Parents advisor Jenn Mann, Psy.D., author of SuperBaby: 12 Ways to Give Your Child a Head Start in the First 3 Years. Still, dining out is a great way to encourage flexibility. Ready to survey the restaurant scene with your toddler? Try these tips so you don’t always have to eat at home.

Keep it casual. “The first outings are about getting used to eating somewhere other than the kitchen table and trying food that’s not prepared by Mommy or Daddy,” says etiquette expert Cindy Post Senning, Ed.D., coauthor of Emily Post’s The Gift of Good Manners. You don’t have to limit yourself to fast food, but it makes sense to pick a restaurant that’s family-friendly. Otherwise, you may

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be embarrassed and angry if your child is disruptive, when really it’s not her fault. Look for places that have a kid’s menu and high chairs. Chances are they’re used to a little (or a lot of) noise and mess.

Consider timing. Plan restaurant meals around your toddler’s sleep schedule. If he typically naps at 1 P.M., an early dinner is a better idea than lunch at noon, for example. “This is about your child’s needs, not yours,” says Dr. Mann, who once staged a restaurant intervention with a mom whose 18-month-old was flinging silverware across the table. “This woman was at her wits’ end. She was yelling, ‘No! Do not do that!’ as she grabbed her son’s wrist and face. Eventually, I bent down so the other diners couldn’t hear me and said, ‘You seem to be having a hard time. I’m a mom, too, and a therapist. Can I help?’ Then we talked about what she could do to prevent these kinds of situations in the future.” As they spoke, Dr. Mann found out that it was an hour and a half past the child’s usual bedtime. No wonder he was out of control.

Look for places with a kids’ menu and high chairs— they’re used to the noise and mess.

When my own son was a toddler and we were getting ready for a meal at a restaurant, my husband always joked, “Do you have your little bag of tricks?” But this was no laughing matter—it worked every time. Finger puppets, sheer scarves for peekaboo, and sorting toys that fit on a high-chair tray are great for keeping little kids occupied. Try to avoid handing your phone or tablet to your toddler. “She’ll miss out on the experience of interacting with people, which is part of what dining out is about,” says Dr. Mann. That said, you shouldn’t expect your toddler to sit for more than 20 minutes in a high chair. After that, you or your partner will probably have to take her for a walk before she’ll sit quietly again. “Little bodies need to move,” says Dr. Mann. “Fortunately, taking a quick jaunt outside is like pressing a toddler’s ‘refresh’ button.”

Flag the waiter. If you want time to actually eat your food before your kid has a meltdown, place your order as quickly as possible (hint: read the menu online ahead of time). You might think it’s helpful to order your kid’s meal as soon as you arrive, but that tactic can backfire in the likely scenario that he finishes eating before your food even arrives—and then he’ll need something to occupy him while you eat. A better plan: Order together, ask the waiter to put a rush on it, and offer your kid a small snack you’ve brought from home to keep him satisfied until his meal comes. If he gets restless or rowdy, be prepared to take your food to go. On the way out, apologize to nearby diners whose meal may have been disrupted (you’ll be surprised how many will give an empathetic “been there” nod). And tip generously if you’ve left a mess behind.

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Legal Notice If You Purchased and/or Paid for Multi-Vitamin with Fluoride Chewable Tablets You Could Get Money from a Proposed Class Action Settlement A Settlement has been reached in a class action lawsuit involving Multi-Vitamin with Fluoride Chewable Tablets made by Endo Pharmaceuticals, Inc., and its subsidiaries (the “Chewable Tablets”). The lawsuit claims that the labels and packaging for the Chewable Tablets misrepresented the amount of fluoride contained in them on and after October 31, 2007. Defendants deny these allegations. WHO IS INCLUDED? All persons and entities who paid for Multi-Vitamin with Fluoride Tablets between October 31, 2007, and December 31, 2015, excluding (a) government entities who were parties to the settlement in United States v. Vintage Pharmaceuticals, LLC, et al., Case No. 13 civ. 1506 (DLC), (b) Defendants and their officers, directors, agents and employees, and (c) all persons and entities that acquired Multi-Vitamin with Fluoride Tablets for sale to others (the “Class”). WHAT ARE THE SETTLEMENT TERMS? The Defendants agree to establish a Settlement Fund of $15.5 million. Payments to eligible Class members will be based on the amount each paid for the Chewable Tablets and the total dollar amount of valid claims submitted. Each Class member will receive their pro rata share of the Settlement Fund not to exceed 100% of their individual expenditures. More details are available at www.fluoridetabletssettlement.com or by calling 1-800-983-6133. HOW TO GET A PAYMENT? You should submit a Claim Form to ensure that the Claims Administrator is aware of your purchases. The Claim Form is available at www.fluoridetabletssettlement.com or by calling 1-800-983-6133. The deadline to submit a Claim Form is April 17, 2017. Nonetheless, if the Claims Administrator is able to obtain proof of your purchases of the Chewable Tablets by other means and you are a natural person, you will receive a payment even if you do not submit a Claim Form. WHO REPRESENTS THE SETTLEMENT CLASS? Class counsel are the law firms of Buckner + Miles, 3350 Mary Street, Miami, Florida 33133 and McCabe Rabin PA, Centurion Tower, 1601 Forum Pl. #505, West Palm Beach, Florida 33401. These attorneys will represent you as part of the Class unless you choose to hire your own attorney. You have the right to hire your own attorney at your own expense. Class counsel represent the Class on a contingency basis and will only receive attorneys’ fees and reimbursement of their expenses if the Settlement is approved by the Court, at which time the Court may approve Settlement Class counsel’s request for reimbursement of costs and expenses and an attorneys’ fee award of up to 30%. YOUR OTHER RIGHTS? Members of the Class may request exclusion from the Class no later than April 17, 2017. You may also object to the Settlement by April 17, 2017. If you request exclusion, you may not object. Please refer to www.fluoridetabletssettlement.com. The Court will hold a hearing on June 9, 2017, to consider whether to approve the Settlement and a request for attorneys’ fees up to 30% of the Settlement Fund, reimbursement of costs, and a service award for the Class Representative of up to $10,000. You can appear at the hearing, but you do not have to. You can hire your own attorney, at your own expense, to appear or speak for you at the hearing. Please check www.fluoridetabletssettlement.com to confirm the hearing date as it approaches as that date may change. FOR MORE INFORMATION AND A CLAIM FORM Visit: www.fluoridetabletssettlement.com or Call 1-800-983-6133

ages + stages

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preschooler

PRESCHOOLER 3-4 years

quiet child With a little coaching and practice, your soft-spoken kid can become more comfortable in social situations. by LELA NARGI

MY 3-YEAR-OLD daughter, Ada, and I were walking down the sidewalk chatting when I saw a neighbor sitting on his stoop up ahead. I could feel Ada tense in anticipation of what was coming next. “Hello, there!” he yelled as we approached. Ada—so chatty a moment before—scurried behind my legs and fell silent. As her quietness persisted, the man’s smile turned to a frown. I was torn between wanting to protect her need to disengage and

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assuring our neighbor that Ada wasn’t rude or afraid of him. More than that, I worried that encounters like these would shatter her confidence. We often assume kids who are quiet or introverted—as opposed to shy, a word some experts use to describe those who have true social anxiety—are unsure of themselves. “Neurologically, they’re just wired differently than louder children and react more positively to lessstimulating environments,” says Susan Cain, author of Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverts. But even in challenging settings, your quiet child can practice her social skills and learn to navigate our loud world more easily. These expert tips will help her break out.

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Quiet children may receive unwitting messages—even from their parents—that there’s something wrong with their reserved behavior. “By saying, ‘Sorry, he’s shy,’ to another adult who’s trying unsuccessfully to engage him, you imply to your child that we see his quietness as a negative thing,” says Erica Reischer, Ph.D., author of What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive. She suggests saying something like, “He’s feeling quiet right now.” This acknowledges how your child feels in the moment

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and that he may not always feel that way. In fact, he might be back to his talkative self once he’s home. By creating an environment of acceptance within your own family, you’ll give your child the freedom to hold on to who he truly is.

Open a dialogue. Check in with your child after situations that have made her go silent, like Ada’s moment with our neighbor. “Ask, ‘What happened when that man said hello to us? Did it make you feel uncomfortable?’ ” suggests Heidi Kiebler-Brogan, a licensed professional counselor. These kinds of conversations can help both of you better understand her behavior. Then, you can offer some tools to help her the next time. If she balks at the idea of saying “Hi,” for example, you can suggest that she wave or even just smile. This will also help her make the inevitable transition to all of the interactions that lie ahead in school and other activities.

Practice socializing. Any of us can feel overwhelmed in a loud or an unfamiliar environment, says Cain. But while adults can usually muster the poise to muddle through it, little kids are still honing those skills. “My numberone strategy is for kids to practice, practice, practice,” says Maria Zimmitti, Ph.D., president of Georgetown Psychology Associates, in Washington, D.C. She says that gently introducing a quiet child to social situations will allow him to work gradually toward feeling

Introverted kids aren’t unsure of themselves—they just feel better in a calm, quiet setting.

comfortable and ultimately having fun with other kids. Try not to put your child in a large playgroup or force interactions before he is ready, as this can cause anxiety and lead to further avoidance. Start small with a playdate with one other kid, and over time, move up to larger group settings. And don’t be surprised if your quiet child chooses a loud companion. “A friend who’s more at ease can pave the way in social settings,” says Cain.

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If a friend’s birthday party is coming up, work out some coping strategies ahead of time. Tell your child, “It’s nice manners to greet the birthday girl and say ‘Happy birthday.’ ” Then role-play that interaction together before the party so she feels natural saying it. You might also suggest that she bring a favorite stuffed animal or book to a playdate as an icebreaker to encourage communication, recommends Cain. Just try to avoid being the last ones to arrive at an event where you have to walk into a loud, overwhelming environment, she says. Get there early, so other people have to approach your child and she can acclimate to them one at a time.

Call out accomplishments. Children respond well to positive reinforcement, and your quiet child is no exception. You can boost his confidence if you recognize and praise his new skills. But don’t bribe. If you promise him an ice-cream cone for talking to a friend, he may wonder why that interaction is so awful that you’ll offer a reward for it. Instead, acknowledge social strides as they occur. “If he’s having a good time at a party, make sure you tell him, ‘I see you having fun!’ ” says Dr. Reischer. “That way, he’ll notice, ‘Hey, I’m doing it!’ ”

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she’d kept it, but she turned it in to the bank and saved someone’s job,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. “My children grew up hearing that story, and it helped them learn that our family tries to do the right thing.”

How to deal when your child lies and teach her the importance of honesty by JEANINE DETZ

Avoid negative

SCHOOL-AGE 5-6 years

JENNA CHERNEY recently caught her daughter, Lila, red-handed: The 6-year-old was clearly responsible for spilling corn kernels all over the floor. But when Cherney asked why Lila had tried to make popcorn, “Lila told me that her dad lets her,” she says. “I almost believed her at first, but of course it wasn’t true—and I was disappointed that she had lied right to my face.” Dishonesty is actually part of an important developmental step at this age. “Lying shows that kids realize that others don’t always see or know what they do,” says Parents advisor Eileen Kennedy-Moore, Ph.D., creator of the audio/video series Raising Emotionally and Socially Healthy Kids. However, you can still teach the value of honesty and minimize tall tales.

but over time they’re more likely to be truthful because they feel it’s the right thing to do,” says Victoria Talwar, Ph.D., associate professor at McGill University, in Montreal, who has led studies on kids and lying.

Accept mistakes. It may seem counterintuitive, but when your kid tells you that he’s done something wrong, you should praise him. “Rewarding good behavior is much more effective than punishing bad behavior,” says Holly Schiffrin, Ph.D., associate professor at the University of Mary Washington, in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and coauthor of Balancing the Big Stuff: Finding Happiness in Work, Family, and Life. Simply saying “I’m so proud of you for telling the truth” will reinforce how much you appreciate honesty.

Encourage the truth. As Lila did, your kid may lie to stay out of trouble. Counter this urge with a simple switch. “Don’t ask, ‘Did you do this?’ because nearly every kid will instinctively say, ‘No,’ ” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. Instead, tell your child you will actually be happy if she tells the truth. Focusing on the positive can work: Research suggests that hearing about a positive response to honesty increased children’s truthfulness, while hearing about how a liar was no longer trusted did not. “Children want reinforcement from their parents for being honest,

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Model better behavior. Your kid’s honesty starts with you. “Kids learn more from what we do than what we say,” notes Dr. Kennedy-Moore. White lies—like fudging your kid’s age in order to pay a cheaper admission at a theme park—definitely count. “Children are black-and-white thinkers, so if they hear a parent lie for any reason they think it must be okay,” says Dr. Kennedy-Moore. It’s also helpful to see honesty as a family expectation. “My grandma had been poor when she found a large sum of cash in a bank bag; no one would’ve known if

consequences. Despite your best efforts, your kid will still lie. “Children practice any new skill when they first develop it,” says Dr. Schiffrin. Penalizing your child for lying may make her more likely to repeat the behavior in the future, so avoid the temptation to immediately freak out. Dr. Talwar explains that people most often lie when they think the benefits of dishonesty outweigh those of telling the truth—and your child is practically hardwired to keep herself out of trouble. A smarter tactic: “Ask your child, ‘What could you have done differently?’ and then help her fix the situation,” says Dr. Schiffrin. If, for example, she wrote on a wall, have her clean the marks. Above all, says Dr. Schiffrin: “You want to help her understand why lying isn’t okay and teach her a better response.”

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10 quick and easy toddler-meal ideas, from toddlers

1 Grass 2 One bite out of 15 different apples 3 The cat’s tail 4 Toast, but cut the exact opposite way of however you just cut it 5 Whatever you are eating 6 Just jelly. No peanut butter, no bread. JUST THE JELLY PART 7 Construction paper 8 Dirt from the bottom of assorted shoes 9 Tub water 10 A sweet yet savory pork medallion garnished with a white-wine truffle sauce ... just kidding, toaster waffles

PA R E N T S

108 F E B R U A R Y 2 0 1 7

by SARA GIVEN illustration by ALEX EBEN MEYER

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