Parents - January 2017 by Lawrence Ambrocio

healthy kids, happy families

MAKE LEARNING FUN! SUPER-COOL PROJECTS TO TRY AT HOME

IT’S 3 A.M. AND YOUR KID IS SICK HERE’S WHY AND WHAT TO DO

THE SAFETY CHECKUP EVERY FAMILY NEEDS

JANUARY 2017 PARENTS.COM

WAYS TO KICK CLUTTER OUT OF YOUR HOUSE

AGES + STAGES SPECIAL

OUR FAVE EXPERTS ON

• SOOTHING COLIC • DECODING YOUR TODDLER • FOSTERING FIRST FRIENDSHIPS

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PB&J for Every Day! While the classic peanut butter and jelly sandwich will never go out of style, there are SO many other ways to enjoy PB&J! )URP EUHDNIDVW ELWHV WR VFUXPSWLRXV VQDFNV WKLV HYHU SRSXODU Ŵ DYRU FRPER FDQ EH HQMR\HG DQ\ GD\ of the week in the most crave-able of ways. We hope this weekly menu inspires you to add PB&J to every day.

MONDAY

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

PB&J Sushi Rolls Inspire lunch box envy with this creative take on the classic sandwich combo.

On-the-Go Energy Bites Put some pep in their step with these no-bake snacks.

Peanut Berry Blast Smoothie This yummy shake offers the perfect breakfast boost.

Graham Cracker PB&J A simple afterschool snack ZLWK XQIRUJHWWDEOH Ŵ DYRU Who needs s’mores?

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

NEXT WEEK!

PB&J Pizza Put a new spin on pizza night with this easy and delicious treat!

PB&J Fruit Kabobs This snack on a stick is sure to add fun to any weekend activity.

:DIŶ H 3% An epic addition to a lazy Sunday morning brunch.

Stock up on your favorite Smucker’s products and browse our website for more fun recipes.

FOR THESE AND MORE CRAVE-ABLE CREATIONS, VISIT SMUCKERS.COM ®

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THIS IS BOSS LIFE “Avon’s made me a Momtrepreneur. So to my girls I’m more than Mom, I’m also the Guru of Glam. I get to choose when I work and where I work. č ` Þ L i vw Vi] iÛiÀÞ `>Þ Ã Ì> i Þ ÕÀ `>Õ} ÌiÀ Ì Ü À `>Þ° Now my girls say they want to be ‘Boss’ when they grow up.” —Lydia

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january.

in every issue mom to mom 4 parents to parents 7 parents last laugh 80

38 A Letter to My Child About Growing Up in the Dark Ages Your childhood probably looks a little different from your kid’s POV.

55 Messy No More! Four professional mom organizers help you manage the clutter.

42 Baby Bloopers Quirky quotes from kids

HOME 62 Fireproof Your Family Simple ways to prevent and prepare for a fire

YOU 45 Look Mom, No Creases! A quick concealer trick

KIDS

46 2017’s Top Trends for Moms Products, tools, and treatments you’ll want this year

15 Manicure Makeover A safer polish for little fingers and toes

48 The Right Workout for You Find a streaming fitness plan to meet your goals.

16 Health News Tips to reduce sugar intake, new sleep rules for your baby, games to fight the flu, and more

20 The Night Shift Get back to sleep with this guide for managing 2 a.m. problems. 26 Warm Up to Winter Fruit New ways to take advantage of what’s ripe right now

SPECIAL EDITION !

AGES + STAGES Straight from Parents expert advisors: what you need to know about your child’s development

71 Baby Lessen unnecessary crying. 72 Toddler Odd habits to watch out for 76 Preschool Manage friendship drama. 78 School-Age & Big Kid When he refuses to go to school

32 55

32 That’s So Cool! Five fun and educational STEAM projects

20 71 72 76

Get Parents to go! Add the iPad edition to your print subscription today. Always have the current issue with you and convenient access to back issues—wherever you go. Visit parents.com/digitalnow.

ON THE COVER Miranda and Kylie, 4 years old. Photograph by Stephanie Rausser. Wardrobe styling by Annie Caruso. Hair and makeup by Clelia Bergonzoli for Utopia. Prop styling by Helen Crowther. Child wrangling by Melanie Sawyer. On Miranda: Jacket, H&M. Sweater, Zara. Skirt, H&M. Glasses, Frameri. On Kylie: Shirt, Sid NYC. Jeans, Sid NYC.

JANUARY 2017

3 PA R EN T S

mom to mom

the Parents team answers

What’s your best organizing hack?

future focus

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4 JA N UA RY 2 0 1 7

and health stories marked with an icon (below and on pages 18 and 62). We’ll work with nonprofit Safe Kids Worldwide to help bring down injury numbers this year.

Follow the “zero inbox” rule. While I don’t manage to get to zero every day, I never have more than one screen of e-mails in my inbox. Everything else gets filed into specific folders or deleted. Laura Fenton, Lifestyle Director

Don’t have a junk drawer. If it’s worth keeping, it deserves a place and everyone in the family has to know its home. I do spend a lot of time reminding everyone where the scissors, dirty socks, and hair bands live. But they’re catching on; by the time they’re 18, they’ll get it.

protect+ prevent Also in the future? A new editor for Parents. My younger son has grown from preschooler to tween in my time here, and I am off on my next adventure and a new phase of motherhood. I’m excited to return to seeing Parents as you do, full of fresh surprises in every issue.

Chandra Turner, Executive Editor

Rehang your clothes backwards. Each time I put a piece of clothing back after wearing it, I hang it the other way. At the end of each season, I donate the clothes that are still in the opposite direction. Aleksandra Mencel, Associate Health Editor

Dana Points

Store rolled-up towels in an onthe-wall wine rack. It saves space and makes me feel like I’m in a fancy hotel bathroom!

dana@parents.com

Shanon Maglente, Lifestyle Intern

meet the mom behind Curious Jane Samantha Razook Murphy founded Curious Jane in 2008 to give girls a chance to be creative and inventive in a high-energy space. Sample her fun projects that are focused on science, engineering, and design in “That’s So Cool!” on page 32. Murphy with daughters Olivia and Eleanor

TOP: ARI MICHELSON. BOTTOM: MORGAN SHORTELL.

AS I SIT HERE on the eve of the new year, I have a crystal ball in which I can see many of the exciting stories in the works for Parents in 2017. It is the nature of magazines that stories gestate over months and are carefully reported, edited, and checked for accuracy. We predict what will be crucially important (or wildly entertaining or surprising) for you to know. In a world where so much is unknown, I take comfort in the ability to hone a story. We’d all like to control time, but we can only control how we use it. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about that recently, as I have been looking forward to a couple of milestone birthdays in our household (one son will celebrate his bar mitzvah this year). Conscious of how the days fly by, I am trying to speed up some things and slow others, to become both more efficient and to savor the time I find. I’ve been using The Pomodoro Technique that’s mentioned in “Messy No More!” on page 55 for a while now, and it’s helped me get big projects done faster. I even shared it with my older son to help with homework. One thing I do see in my crystal ball is that Parents will redouble its efforts to improve family safety and health in the coming year with our new initiative, “Protect and Prevent.” You’ll see can’t-miss safety

© Copyright Meredith Corporation 2016. All rights reserved. Parents is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation, registered at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Subscribers please note: Our subscribers list is occasionally made available to carefully selected firms whose products may be of interest to you. If you prefer not to receive info from these companies by mail or by phone, please let us know. Send your request and your mailing label to Parents Customer Service, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. Executive, editorial, and advertising offices: 805 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10022. Submission of your material constitutes permission for Meredith Corporation to allow its use in any media. Printed in the U.S.A.

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4 “Mom” Things People Insult That Are Actually Pretty Darn Awesome

what happens at Moms’ Night ...

Certain media outlets would have us believe that moms can ruin anything just by association, but today’s cool-as-heck mothers prove that the word “mom” is a huge freaking compliment. Mom Hair In the New York Times article “Have ‘Mom Hair’? Here’s How to Fix It,” a writer describes the cut as a “bob that should read sleek but is inescapably frumpy.” Um, no. The ’do is the height of style, as you’ve seen it on decidedly unfrumpy childless celebs such as Taylor Swift, Jennifer Lawrence, and Emilia Clarke, not to mention plenty of chic stroller-pushers who— gasp!—really rock short hair.

TOP: IMAGESBAZAAR/GETTY. BOTTOM: COURTESY OF LISA FRANK.

Mommy Blogs Moms who write on the interwebs are called “mommy bloggers,” which is condescending considering moms who bake or have a medical degree

aren’t labeled as “mommy bakers” or “mommy doctors.” And in a world where more people seek connection through a screen, reading (and writing) about real struggles moms experience can be life-changing.

Mom Jeans The infamous Saturday Night Live sketch made high-waisted, light-wash, tapered-leg denim seem dated, but check out any music festival or Kardashian/Jenner paparazzi pic and you’ll see that this style is in fact quite hot again.

LOV E !

Because you’re never too old to dress like your middle-school Trapper Keeper, Lisa Frank has partnered with RageOn! to launch a rainbow-colored clothing line for adults. $25 to $60; lisafrank.rageon.com

Moms’ Night Out If people think a moms’ outing means a ho-hum night of wine and PTA gossip, then we’re pulling off the biggest ruse in the history of ever. It may not get as wild as the antics in Bad Moms, but even if it does … we’ll never tell. —Sabrina James

IT’S COME TO THIS A Kansas City, Kansas, mom delivered three sets of twins in 26 months without any fertility treatments.

JANUARY 2017

7 PA R EN T S

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parents to parents

G OI NG PL AC ES

Your 2017 Family Travel- Planning Calendar

Take your elementaryschool-age kids to the Museum of the American Revolution, which opens in Philadelphia on April 19. The museum will boast hands-on kids’ activities.

JAN UARY Visit Washington, D.C., for the Presidential Inauguration on Friday, January 20, and spend the weekend at the free Smithsonian museums. The exhibits at the new National Museum of African American History & Culture range from Civil Rights artifacts to the uneven bar grips used by Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas in 2012. F EBRUARY Catch Kids’ Night on Broadway, on February 28 in New York City. Children ages 6 to 18 can see a participating show for free when you buy a full-price ticket. The Lion King, Aladdin, Wicked, and School of Rock are great picks for families. Tickets go on sale December 6.

AP R I L

MAY

Festival of Whales

M A R CH

Put SoCal on your itinerary during the first two weekends of March for the Dana Point Festival of Whales. Led by naturalists, the cruises allow kids to see whales passing through during their seasonal migration.

National Museum of African American History & Culture

Little builders will love Legoland Florida’s new Beach Retreat, in Winter Haven, near its theme park. Go to parents.com/ bungalow for details. JUNE Soak up the fun at Universal’s Volcano Bay water theme park in Orlando, expected to open as early as June. Among the 18 attractions: a 200-foot volcano that spews water. J U LY Plan a road trip through Springfield, Massachusetts, to see The Amazing World of Dr. Seuss Museum. Kids can play rhyming games and invent stories. Go to parents.com/roadtrip to get a New England route.

Resort offers special preschool programming and a discount the first three weeks of the month. O CTO B E R

Take in the State Fair of Texas in Dallas, through October 22. It offers kids’ pedal tractor pulls, Mother Goose storytime, and sculptures made from butter. N OV E M B E R Set out for the Goleta Butterfly Grove, near Santa Barbara, California. Thousands of monarch butterflies migrate to Goleta from the middle of the month to February. DE CE M B E R Your kids can hang with SpongeBob and Dora at the Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts Riviera Maya, set to open late 2017. Can’t wait? Check out its sister resort in Punta Cana. —Karen Cicero

AU G U S T Go wild at the Conrad Prebys Africa Rocks exhibit at the San Diego Zoo, scheduled to open this summer. Adorable part: a penguin beach with an underwater viewing area. SEPTEMBER Head to Martha’s Vineyard with your kids ages 2 to 5; the Winnetu Oceanside

Nickelodeon Hotels & Resorts

“Benny,” a mystery philanthropist in Oregon, leaves $100 bills with boxes of diapers, cans of formula, and other products.

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CLOCKWISE FROM TOP RIGHT: OMDKC; COURTESY OF NICKELODEON HOTELS & RESORTS; COURTESY OF THE MUSEUM OF AFRICAN AMERICAN HISTORY & CULTURE; M SWIET PRODUCTIONS/GETTY.

Find your perfect day trip, long weekend, or full-blown vacay in this guide to the year’s openings and special events.

School of Rock

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parents to parents

M OM M US T- R E A D by Kristen Kemp book-club inspiration

C O O L!

Grown-Up Treats Inspired by Kids’ Sweets After getting through a year of homework, tantrums, and diaper blowouts, you deserve to toast 2017 with some boozy goodies.

If you want to get lost in a terrific read, Books for Living, by Will Schwalbe, should be next on your list. Schwalbe has produced another touching hit to follow his popular memoir, The End of Your Life Book Club. He recommends great books you’ll want to read or reread, but this book is about so much more: He also covers everyday topics

like the benefits of taking naps and the importance of being kind. And his insights on books including Stuart Little, The Odyssey, Wonder, and The Girl on the Train, among others, will make you dog-ear the pages. Books for Living gives you a renewed appreciation for reading and a long wish list to take to your bookstore.

Margarita Marshmallows Fluffy margaritas? Yes, please! These marshmallows are made using lime juice, lime zest, and tequila, then dusted with confectioners’ sugar instead of salt. $15 for 16 marshmallows; sweetniks.etsy.com

SITTERWORTHY

Cosmopolitan Ice Pops Made with premium vodka, cranberry juice, and triple sec, this frozen cocktail on a stick has about half the alcohol content of a regular cosmopolitan—but, let’s be real, is way more fun. Price varies; snobarcocktails.com

Champagne Truffles Keep that bottle of bubbly corked, and opt instead for these adorable cork-shaped truffles that are made with milk chocolate, fresh cream, and Taittinger Brut La Française Champagne. $20 for a box of ten; mrchocolate.com —SJ

La La Land, rated PG-13, December 16 Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone sing, dance, and possibly fall in love in a musical about a wannabe jazz musician and an aspiring actress trying to make it in the City of Angels. The movie, which aims to evoke classic movie musicals like Singin’ in the Rain and The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, charmed its way to the coveted audience award at the Toronto International Film Festival, making it a possible Oscar contender.

A Los Angeles mom and hypnotherapist uses hypnosis on her kids to help them focus. She calls it “hypno-parenting.”

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CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: DAVID FASANO; COURTESY OF JOHAN SVENSON; COURTESY OF LIONSGATE PUBLICITY.

Alcoholic Bubbles Pour your favorite alcoholic beverage into a bottle of BubbleLick, mix, and blow! See who can catch the most edible bubbles in her mouth for a game that we’ve just invented but is already our favorite of 2017. $18 for a six-pack of bubble mix; bubblelick.com

GET THE PARTY STARTED! REINDOG

LAUS C E I G G PI

SKI PUP

MIDNIG HT TOAS T

Find fun ways to dress your Lit’l Smokies® Smoked Sausages for your next party at Pinterest.com/HillshireFarm

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TRADITIONS DON’T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT.

THEY HAPPEN ONE MORNING AT A TIME AND ONE CUP AT A TIME.

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WARDROBE STYLING BY SARAH CONROY. HAIR STYLING BY TAREK MAKKI. MANICURE BY CASEY HERMAN.

K E E P T H E M H E A LT H Y A N D H A P P Y

manicure makeover Children love seeing bright colors on their nails. Now they can get that look without harsh chemicals or fumes. The key: Paint with Kid Licks ($14; kidlicks.com), an organic polish line made entirely from fruits, veggies, and plants that’s perfectly safe for thumb-suckers and nail biters. Little fingers and toes have never been so yummy!

JANUARY 2017

15 P A R E N T S

kids

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health news

78%

The percentage of Americans who say children under 14 shouldn’t play tackle football, according to a new survey by the UMass Lowell Center for Public Opinion

According to new recommendations from the American Heart Association, a child should get less than 6 teaspoons (25 grams) of added sugars a day—about the amount in a small chocolate-chip granola bar and 6 ounces of vanilla yogurt. Any more may raise his risk of obesity. Kids’ extra sugar mainly comes from drinks, so you can easily cut their intake by limiting sweet beverages at home. And because added sugars won’t be listed separately on all packaged foods until 2018, try to avoid those that list sugar but also honey, agave, molasses, and words ending in “ose” (such as sucrose) as one of the first four ingredients.

Rock On, Single Moms Research has finally figured out what solo mothers always knew was true: Their kids are just as happy and healthy as those in two-parent families. When researchers from the University of Cambridge interviewed school-age kids and their families and teachers, they found that children of single moms who’d used donor sperm were just

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as well-adjusted and had an equally sunny outlook as kids in two-parent homes who were conceived the same way. It’s proof that happy families come in many forms, says lead author Sophie Zadeh, Ph.D. “What matters most for kids is not the number of parents in the home but the quality of parenting and positive parent-child relationships.”

by SUNNY SEA GOLD

FROM TOP: TETRA IMAGES-ERIK ISAKSON/GETTY; STEPHANIE RAUSSER/GETTY; AJAFOTO/GETTY.

Smart Tips for Sweets Lovers

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kids

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health news

Spritz Your Vitamins Now there’s an alternative to gummies. Instavit for Kids is a fruit flavored, sugar-free vitamin spray formulated for children ages 2 to 12. It includes vitamins A, C, D, and B6, and folic acid, among others. Just squirt two to four sprays into your child’s mouth—no chewing, swallowing, or toothbrushing required. $15 for a one-month supply; amazon.com

No parent wants her baby snoozing in an unsafe space, and yet that’s where the majority of infants sleep, according to a new study in Pediatrics. When researchers videotaped 1-, 3-, and 6-month-olds overnight, they found that more than 90 percent had suffocation hazards like bumper pads, pillows, and stuffed animals on their sleep surface. Many of these babies were also put to sleep in dangerous spots (think beds and car seats) or placed on their side or stomach rather than their back. Coincidentally, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has just released a new

policy on safe infant sleep. It had previously recommended that infants sleep in their parents’ room, but the guidelines now specify that this is best for the first six months. The AAP also acknowledges for the first time that dozing off while feeding a baby is common. However, when you’re woken up at 3 A.M., nursing in a soft armchair or couch is a big no-no: This puts your baby at risk of suffocation through entrapment. It’s wiser to nurse in your bed, as long as you clear away loose bedding or pillows. If you do fall asleep, place your baby back in his crib as soon as you wake up.

protect+ prevent

A baby spends up to three-quarters of her day asleep, so safety is key.

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Flu Fighting Made Fun During cold season, even the strongest immune system needs a little help from good old handwashing. Nina L. Shapiro, M.D., director of pediatric ear, nose, and throat at the Mattel Children’s Hospital UCLA, shares three tricks for getting kids to be clean. Play a game. Preschoolers should change their shirt when they get home from school, especially if there’s a baby in the house. To make it routine, turn it into a quick game of basketball. As soon as your kid walks in the door, have him disrobe and shoot a slam dunk into the hamper. Get into character. Your kids should sneeze or cough into the crook of their arm, rather than their hands or the air. “Help the maneuver stick by calling it the ‘Vampire Sneeze,’ since the motion mimics a vampire with its cape,” says Dr. Shapiro. Put it in writing. If you have set screen-time rules, add this one to the list: When your kid wants to use the computer or iPad, she needs to wash her hands before and after, and sing “Happy Birthday” twice while sudsing. Keyboards and screens are notorious germ carriers.

CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: COURTESY OF INSTAVIT; NAUMOID/GETTY; RUSLAN DASHINSKY/GETTY.

New Baby-Sleep Rules

kids

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staying healthy

“Wake up, Mommy. I don’t feel good.”

the night shift FORGET the things that go bump in the night. We’re more terrified of the things that whimper and cry—also known as our kids. But just because awakenings are inevitable doesn’t mean they have to put a significant dent in your family’s shut-eye. The key is to create a plan, because let’s face it: When you’re ripped into consciousness by a sobbing kid,

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levelheaded strategies don’t come naturally. Consider this your cheat sheet for the bleary hours.

YOU HEAR Cries of pain LIKELY CULPRITS Earache or teething WHAT’S HAPPENING Ear infections

typically occur when a respiratory infection blocks the ear’s eustachian tube, causing infected fluid to

accumulate. Lying down increases the pressure, making pain worse, says pediatrician Alan Greene, M.D., author of Raising Baby Green. If your child’s been sniffling or sneezing, there’s a good chance this could be the reason for her crying. When it comes to teething, a hormone is to blame: “Growth hormone is released shortly after a child falls asleep,

VINCENT BESNAULT/GETTY.

Why do kids often wait until the wee hours to wail for you? Solve your child’s 2 a.m. problems so everyone can get back to sleep. by KATE ROCKWOOD

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staying healthy

which is why teething can be so disruptive at night,” says Lisa Meltzer, Ph.D., a pediatric-sleep specialist at National Jewish Health, in Denver. As new chompers inflame and break through the gums, the discomfort can rouse the steadiest sleeper. How to know if it’s teething? Drooling, swollen gums, and an increase in biting are signs—in addition to night wakings, of course. GET BACK TO BED When you think your child is in pain, give her a pain reliever; acetaminophen and ibuprofen both can help if she is uncomfortable or cranky. “If your child starts to relax as the pain reliever kicks in (it takes about 20

minutes), you may be able to get her back down without much fuss,” says Jennifer Waldburger, a sleep consultant and coauthor of The Sleepeasy Solution. “If she’s still upset, try rocking her for a bit.”

YOU HEAR Rustling over the

baby monitor LIKELY CULPRIT Motor milestones WHAT’S HAPPENING Scientists aren’t

sure exactly why learning to crawl or walk causes babies to wake more, but research has confirmed what tired parents everywhere have long suspected. One study tracked infants’ sleep patterns and crawling development for six

months and discovered a link between the onset of the milestone and increased night waking. GET BACK TO BED First, don’t worry: Most new skills affect sleep for just a few days. Second, resist the urge to check on your child. “Let him run his battery down and go to sleep on his own,” says Waldburger. Rustling turning into crying? The new skill he’s learning may have him feeling frustrated. For example, perhaps he has mastered standing but hasn’t yet figured out how to lie back down. Assist him in the moment; tomorrow, give him practice time.

YOU HEAR A barky cough LIKELY CULPRIT Croup

Your child may ask to sleep with you, but she’ll resettle faster in her own bed.

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has a swollen larynx, or voice box— typically caused by a virus—and this creates a seal-bark cough. It’s usually worst at night, possibly because the body’s natural steroid levels fall, causing swelling to increase. GET BACK TO BED Cool air and steam can both ease swelling in the larynx and improve your child’s breathing quickly. A cool-air nebulizer (akin to an über-effective humidifier) works best, says Dr. Greene. If you don’t have one on hand, sitting in the bathroom with the door closed while a hot shower runs will relax your child’s vocal cords and make it easier to breathe. You can also try bundling your child up and standing outside in the chilly air—or in front of an open freezer door. As soon as the coughing starts to lessen, try putting your child back to sleep if she’s breathing comfortably. The majority of croup cases can be managed at home, but if your child is struggling to breathe, experiences stridor (a high-pitched sound when breathing in), or if you notice a blue tint in her lips, seek urgent medical attention. Otherwise, call your pediatrician in the morning. She may prescribe oral steroids to help your child breathe better the next evening.

OLEKSIY MAKSYMENKO/GETTY.

WHAT’S HAPPENING A kid with croup

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staying healthy

waking up to wheezing Kids with asthma often have well-controlled symptoms during the day. Nights, however, can be a different story. You already know how to help your child mid-attack, but here are prevention tips to try in the morning. Tweak the air. Test the bedroom with a hygrometer from a hardware store. The humidity level should hover around 45 percent; levels over 50 percent can lead to increased growth of mold and dust mites. The room temperature should be between 68°F and 70°F. Give allergens the boot. Keep pets and dust magnets like knickknacks and stuffed animals out of your kid’s bedroom. Wash linens on high heat. Research shows that 140°F water (the “hot” setting) kills off 100 percent of house dust mites; 104°F water (the “warm” setting) destroys just 9.6 percent of them. Call the doctor. If nocturnal wheezing occurs once or more a week, your child’s asthma is not being well controlled. Adjusting her daily controller meds may make a difference.

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YOU HEAR Screaming

GET BACK TO BED It’s natural to want

YOU HEAR “Uh-oh, Mama!”

LIKELY CULPRIT Nightmares or

to wake your child when he’s having a night terror—but avoid it if you can. “Touching him may exacerbate the episode and make it last longer,” says Dr. Mindell, who is also the author of Sleeping Through the Night. Instead, walk into the room and stand there. If your child is awake, he will respond to you. If he is having a sleep terror, let it run its course. Night terrors seem to peak when kids are 3 or 4 and may overlap with bedwetting, Dr. Greene says. He’s found that sometimes, guiding kids to the bathroom can end the events more swiftly. If you sense it’s a nightmare, reassure your little one that he is safe and help him calm down with a back rub. Then reset the room for better dreams: “Try telling him to turn his pillow over. It’s like changing the channel on a TV,” says Dr. Mindell.

MOST LIKELY CULPRIT Bedwetting

night terrors WHAT’S HAPPENING It depends on the

time of night. In the first few hours after bedtime, most kids move seamlessly from deep, slow-wave sleep to lighter-stage sleep, but some children get stuck in a state of partial arousal known as a night terror. You’ll know this is the case if an hour or two after going to sleep, your child appears upset, doesn’t seem to recognize you, and is crying or screaming, says Parents advisor Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Nightmares are more common in the final third of the night. “With a nightmare, once the child’s awake, he can tell you about his dream,” says Dr. Mindell. Kids generally don’t recall night terrors.

WHAT’S HAPPENING When the bladder

is full, it signals the brain, and your kid runs to the potty. But at night, the sleeping brain may not be as receptive. Not all kids have the same arousal threshold, says Dr. Meltzer. GET BACK TO BED To minimize the disruption, keep extra pajamas and underwear in arm’s reach of the bed, suggests Waldburger. “You could also set up a sheet sandwich in advance: Make the bed with a sheet, then add a waterproof mattress pad and another sheet. If your child has an accident, strip off the top sheet and pad, and the bed will be ready for her.” To help her get back to a sleepy state, remind her that accidents aren’t a big deal. You may also find it useful to gently rouse your sleeping child before you go to bed and guide her to the bathroom for a quick pee.

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eating well Kiwifruit

Mango

warm up to winter fruit Stop paying five bucks for a half-pint of blah berries, and introduce your kids to less-pricey produce that’s at its peak now. by KAREN CICERO SEASON September to February WHY TRY IT “The arils—or seed pods—

inside are fun for kids to eat,” says Marie Spano, R.D., a sports nutritionist in Atlanta. Toddlers can even pick them up with their fingers. They’re rich in some of the same types of diseasefighting nutrients, anthocyanins, contained in out-of-season berries; plus, they’re packed with fiber.

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LOOK FOR a few that are around the same size, and buy the one that feels the heaviest, a sign it’ll be juicy. The color of the rind doesn’t make a difference in determining ripeness. Store in the fridge for three weeks. SERVE Stir seeds into Greek yogurt

and freeze in ice-cube trays, or fill celery sticks with ricotta cheese and top with pomegranate seeds for a twist on ants on a log.

Kiwifruit

SEASON All year, with fruit from

California available October to May WHY TRY IT “Kids are usually

pleasantly surprised by what it looks like on the inside, and they like the flavor,” says Cathy Thomas, author of Melissa’s 50 Best Plants on the Planet. Plus, their body can absorb the antioxidants in kiwifruit more easily than those in strawberries, red

photographs by TARA DONNE

Pomegranate

Kumquat

who knew? Grapefruit is likely a hybrid of the orange and pomelo.

Grapefruit

Asian Pear

Orange

green skin) and Ataúlfos (yellow skin) tend to be the creamiest. This tropical fruit is packed with vitamins A and C, and it’s rich in folate, a nutrient that helps cell division and produces red blood cells.

grapes, and other kid favorites, according to a study from the USDA’s Arkansas Children’s Nutrition Center, in Little Rock. Eating kiwifruit before bedtime may also improve sleep quality and duration, noted a study from Taiwan.

LOOK FOR plump, fragrant fruit that

SEASON All year

LOOK FOR a mango that gives slightly when you gently press it.

yields to slight pressure when pressed with your thumb.

WHY TRY IT Picky eaters who don’t

SERVE Stand the mango upright and

like the texture of some fruits like the soft—almost buttery—texture of mangoes. The Kent variety (with

slice, then make a crisscross pattern in the mango flesh (as shown above) and pull down on each side (watch

SERVE Slice it in half and give the

your kids a little spoon to scoop out

the flesh. Or peel the kiwifruit and put round slices on ice-pop sticks served with a yogurt dip. For dinner, toss bite-size pieces of kiwifruit into a Waldorf salad.

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eating well

a how-to video at parents.com/ mango). That will give you a football-shaped mango—and the kids can pull off the pieces. Or combine an equal amount of mango puree and milk; pour into small ice-pop molds and freeze.

Kumquat

SEASON November to July WHY TRY IT “It’s the most underrated

fruit—families don’t realize how nutritious and versatile it is,” says Thomas. She advises that you tell your children it tastes like an “inside-out orange,” because the edible skin is sweet and the flesh is a tad tart. Kumquats supply the nutrients you’d expect from citrus— like vitamins A and C—plus antioxidants such as cancer-fighting lutein and zeaxanthin, which are typically found in vegetables. Don’t peel because the skin is packed with fiber and oils such as anti-inflammatory limonene. LOOK FOR firm, bright-orange fruit

with smooth skin; greenish color is a sign that it hasn’t properly ripened. SERVE Thinly slice and remove the one or two larger seeds the fruit is likely to have. Place the slices on small toasted breads spread with ricotta cheese (pictured above). Or add chopped kumquats to salsa.

Asian Pear

SEASON September to February

who knew? There are at least 25 varieties of Asian pears.

when sliced, holding up better in a lunch box or a salad than European pear varieties like Bosc and Bartlett. Their thin skin and crispy texture also appeal to kids. By choosing Asian pears over the common European varieties, you’ll receive a bit of extra heart-healthy fiber and potassium for fewer calories and less sugar. LOOK FOR firm, unbruised fruit; some supermarkets actually sell the pears in a mesh cover to protect their skin. Store up to a week at room temp or three months in the fridge—unlike other pear varieties, they won’t soften. SERVE Wrap ham slices around

pear wedges (as shown at left), or thinly slice and add to your favorite coleslaw recipe.

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28 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7

PROP STYLING BY NIDIA CUEVA. FOOD STYLING BY JERRIE-JOY FOR PAT BATES AND ASSOCIATES.

WHY TRY IT They tend not to darken

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kids

•

eating well who knew? Iron-rich foods help you absorb more vitamin C from citrus.

minutes. Kids should also enjoy grapefruit parfaits: Alternate layers of grapefruit segments with plain Greek yogurt and whole-grain cereal or low-sugar granola. Drizzle with a little bit of honey.

Orange

SEASON Year-round but peaks

January to March WHY TRY IT Several fun varieties,

like red blood orange and pinkish Cara Caras, are only available in the winter and early spring. “Cara Caras have a delicate berry-like flavor,” says Thomas. “And the flavor of Moros, the most common variety of blood oranges, might also remind kids of raspberries.” Both blood and Cara Cara oranges contain healthy plant compounds that aren’t present in other varieties of oranges. Cara Caras deliver lycopene, the cancer fighter found in watermelon, while blood oranges provide anthocyanins, the heart-healthy antioxidant that’s abundant in berries. LOOK FOR firm, shiny, heavy oranges; they tend to be the juiciest. Avoid ones with soft spots because they’ll spoil faster. SERVE Slice different colors of

Grapefruit

SEASON Year-round but peaks

December to April WHY TRY IT If your kids love sour candy,

tart grapefruit is a healthier—yet equally colorful—alternative. If not, opt for the sweeter new varieties, like White Gold and Sweet Scarlett’s. All grapefruits are packed with antioxidants that help stabilize blood-glucose levels. People who eat half a grapefruit before meals have a significantly lower bloodsugar level two hours later than those who don’t, potentially lowering their risk of diabetes, according to a study at Scripps Clinic in San Diego. One caveat: If your child (or you) are taking any prescriptions, including some antihistamines, check with your doctor; grapefruit doesn’t mix well with some meds. LOOK FOR round, heavy fruit without

soft spots or deep blemishes.

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SERVE Broil it to bring out extra

sweetness: To serve four, sprinkle four halves with 1 to 2 tsp. of brown sugar or honey and top with ¼ tsp. cinnamon each. Place them on a parchment-lined baking tray. Broil until slightly browned, about 5 to 7

oranges, grapefruits, and other types of citrus. Arrange them on a pretty platter—Cornell University research shows that children are likely to consume more of a food when there are multiple hues. Or hollow out large oranges and fill with salad made with various kinds of citrus.

shortcut smoothies Take advantage of frozen-fruit mixes to make frosty drinks; their icy texture actually works better than fresh produce for smoothies. Dole Fruit & Veggie Blends Each bag has enough produce—the mango-carrot-banana combo was our fave— to make four ½-cup servings. Simply pour the contents into a blender and add milk.

Earthbound Farm Organic Smoothie Kickstart Use half a package of the organic kale and berry variety (it contains strawberries and blueberries) with a cup of milk for a pinkalicious treat.

Welch’s Frozen Smoothie Kit Try the blueberry-cherry blend—it’s purple! You mix the fruit and yogurt in the kit with ¼ cup grape juice and 1 cup skim milk to create two smoothies.

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make it

that’s so cool!

Expect to hear those words from your kids when they make these five projects that hit on all aspects of STEAM (science, technology, engineering, art, and math). by SAMANTHA RAZOOK MURPHY, founder of Curious Jane

Tie the center vertical cable first.

photographs by STEPHANIE RAUSSER

is for Engineering: A Suspension Bridge

Your little architect can design and build a bridge, where the deck (usually a road) is supported by cables. The long suspension cables are anchored by towers (here, we used chairs) on either end. Thin vertical cables then are hung from the suspension cables. Ages 5+ WHAT YOU’LL NEED

Six to ten 8”x 10” foam boards, duct tape, 2 chairs, heavy books, scissors, thick and thin cord

MAKE IT

1. Tape foam boards together lengthwise to form the deck. Punch holes at the end corners, as shown. 2. Span the deck from one chair seat to the other. Set heavy books on each end to weight the deck. 3. Cut two lengths of thick cord, about twice as long as the distance between the tops of the chairs; these will be the suspension cables. Rig the cables over the chairs as shown below, tying to punched holes at each end. 4. Cut a piece of thin cord for the

center vertical cable. Tie it to the midpoint of one suspension cable. Loop it under the deck and up the other side; tie this to the midpoint of the other suspension cable so that the deck is supported. 5. Follow the same process as above, securing the vertical cables on either side of the center cable. Keep placing cables until they reach the towers and the deck is fully supported. Your child will need to tweak and adjust cord placement as she goes. 6. Have your kid test how much the bridge can hold—she’ll be amazed!

Tape the cable to the top of the chair.

Make the suspension cable loose here.

Make the suspension cable tight here.

Punch the foam boards with a scissor’s tip and tie the cable securely here.

JANUARY 2017

33 P A R E N T S

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make it

is for Science: A Cloud in a Jar This homemade rainstorm project teaches your child about weather systems and precipitation. Fill the jar with water until it is almost full. Squirt foam shaving cream over the top, so it completely covers the surface. Fill a small cup with water and add plenty of blue food coloring. Using a medicine dropper, have your child dribble blue water on top of the shaving-cream cloud, and watch the rainstorm form. Ages 3+

The “rain” coming through the “cloud” is an example of precipitation.

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34 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7

is for Art: “Tie-Dye” Pillows

This project is a mini lesson in solubility (how much of a substance will dissolve in another substance). Permanent marker (like a Sharpie) doesn’t wash away with water. However, the molecules in the ink are soluble in rubbing alcohol, so the ink spreads to make a pretty pattern. Have your kid draw with permanent markers on one side of a white polypropylene pillow insert (Inner cushions, $3 and up; IKEA stores). Don’t forget to protect the work surface! The more ink she uses, the more the color will bleed. When she’s done drawing, have her use a medicine dropper to dribble alcohol onto the pillow and watch the magic happen. To finish, let it dry and run it through the dryer on high heat to seal in the design. Ages 4+

Leave some white space to allow the colors to run into each other and mix.

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make it

By making a card with a light that blinks, your child learns how a basic electrical circuit works. The word “circuit” sounds like “circle,” so a circuit needs to be circular. To start this project you’ll need cardstock, an LED ($3 for 20; sparkfun.com), wire, a brass brad, and a basic 3-volt coin battery. Download our template and full directions at parents.com/circuitcard. Ages 6+

Close the card and press the brad; it will touch the battery and the light will turn on.

is for Math: A Sand Pendulum

Create a pendulum, essentially a weight that hangs freely from a string (we used a sand-filled funnel). When you pull it away from its center point and let it go, it will swing back and forth until it reaches its resting point, or equilibrium. The sand trails left by your child’s pendulum are a visualization of the mathematical equation at work. Pendulums have been used in clocks, to keep time, for centuries. Ages 3+ WHAT YOU’LL NEED

Yarn, scissors, sturdy rubber band, kitchen funnel, broomstick or dowel, poster paper (to catch the sand), craft sand

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36 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7

MAKE IT

1. Cut three lengths of yarn, each about 3’ long. Tie each piece to the rubber band, spacing them equally apart. 2. Slip the rubber band over the funnel so that it fits tightly under the lip. 3. Gather the strings above the funnel and tie them at the top so that the funnel hangs evenly. 4. Suspend the funnel from a broomstick or dowel (or just hold it). Place paper below to catch the sand. 5. Have your child fill the funnel with sand, blocking the small opening of the funnel with his finger as he fills it. Instruct him to remove his finger and give it a little push.

Meet the Makers Curious Jane is an organization that runs workshops for girls that focus on science, design, and engineering. Learn more at CuriousJaneMagazine.com.

WARDROBE STYLING BY ANNIE CARUSO. PROP STYLING BY HELEN CROWTHER. GROOMING BY CLELIA BERGONZOLI FOR UTOPIA. CHILD WRANGLING BY MELANIE SAWYER. OPENING SPREAD: SHIRT, TOOBYDOO. JEANS, SID. SNEAKERS, MINI BODEN. GLASSES, COHEN’S. BRACELET, ATSUYO ET AKIKO. ORANGE STORAGE TOTE: WWW.HABLECONSTRUCTION.COM. PREVIOUS SPREAD: GRAY STORAGE TOTE, HABLECONSTRUCTION.COM. ON TIE-DYE GIRL: TURTLENECK, H&M. JEANS, ZARA. SHOES, CONVERSE. HEADBAND, H&M. THIS PAGE, ON BOY: SHIRT, MINI BODEN INSPIRED BY ROALD DAHL. PANTS, OLD NAVY. ON GIRL: JACKET, OLD NAVY. LEGGINGS, H&M. CIRCUIT-CARD INSET: PETER ARDITO.

is for Technology: Light-up LED Circuit Cards

new Jell-O Simply Good. flavored with real strawberry juice. no artificial flavors, dyes or preservatives.

kids

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ha!

a letter to my child about growing up in the dark ages You know, it’s like an e-mail but written with an ink pen on actual paper. by RAQUEL D’APICE DEAR SON, I know you are probably busy taking photos of yourself on Snapchat, but let me tell of a time, aeons ago, when life was brutal and children had few of the luxuries you have now. I came of age in an era when my mother would allow me to walk to

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38 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7

school on my own, and I know you are thinking, “What? All by yourself with no supervision?” but yes. That’s how it was. I would trek for half a mile across the vast supercontinent of Pangaea, where we lived, hoping I wouldn’t be attacked by any sabertoothed cats or stumble into a

pond of quicksand, which television assured me was a very real danger. I carried no cell phone because they did not yet exist. Do you understand that? If a child of my day were to say, “I’m going to take a picture of with my phone,” it would be akin to saying, “I’m going to vacuum the living room with my stapler.” There was no such thing as coconut water. Coconuts were eaten by men on deserted islands. Kale was someone with a Scottish accent yelling the word kill, and upon hearing it we would run in terror to the cottage Pa had built and hide, trembling, behind the woodpile. “Heirloom tomatoes,” if they had existed at all, would have been rotted fruits found in attic trunks; the only lettuce available was iceberg—similar to what sank the Titanic, only with fewer nutrients. It was harder to learn things, as the only information available was at the library. Occasionally a world event or a celebrity death would occur, and for minutes—or maybe even hours—we would just not know. Sometimes we would wonder about things (What’s the best way to spear a mammoth? How tall is Will Smith?) and never get a definitive answer. I was lucky to make it to adulthood. It was rough, son. I was raised in a wild and dangerous world, and yet as I take a closer look at the photo you’re about to post online, I realize I’m much more frightened of Snapchat than I ever was of quicksand. Godspeed, and may we both make it out of this wilderness alive. Love,

illustration by PENELOPE DULLAGHAN

Nothing runs on empty. Especially one in seven Americans who struggle with hunger. Join the Feeding America nationwide network of food banks to help end hunger. Act now at HungerActionMonth.org.

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baby bloopers

quirky quotes from kids My husband asked our kindergartner, “What was your test on today?” She responded, “Paper.” Stacy Bilodeau; Honolulu, HI BETHANY, 5

DYLLINGER, 3 My husband and I often implement the spell-it-out method when it comes to things my son loves. One afternoon, Dyllinger marched up to us and asked, “Mommy, can I have a b-a-t-h?” I exchanged an incredulous look with my husband, and agreed. Then he added, “I would also like some c-o-o-ki-e-s, please.” Elizabeth Smith; Barstow, CA

My daughter was sent home sick from school one day during my pregnancy with her little sister. Once we got home, she whined, “I think I caught your morning sickness.” Amber Murrill; Saraland, AL

RAYNA, 7

JUDE, 5 My son and I were looking at some souvenirs from his grandparents’ travels. I pointed to a miniature of a Japanese garden with a pagoda and told Jude, “I bet there’s a story behind that.” He carefully picked up the model and looked behind it, then told me, “No, there’s just a wall.” Gabriela Meade; Houston, TX

One afternoon, I spent some time shooting hoops with my daughter. When my husband got home from work and asked what she did today, Allison replied, “I did shots with Mommy!” Nicole Misiura; Marengo, IL

ALLISON, 3

ABIGAIL, 5 After several trips back and forth to the basement, I told my granddaughter I needed to sit down and rest because I was out of breath. She came over to me and began blowing in my face. When I asked what she was doing, she said, “Giving you some of my breath, Grandma.” Florence Moore; Winston-Salem, NC

crack us up & win! Your funny story could appear on this page and you could win a $50 gift card from kids’ clothing company Crazy 8. Plus, you could also win the Parents Best of Bloopers grand prize—a $500 gift card from Crazy 8. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. Send your funny story to kidquotes@parents.com. Include your full mailing address, phone number, and your eligible child’s name and date of birth. Subject to Official Rules at parents.com/bloopers-contest. The Best of Bloopers Contest begins at 12:00 a.m. ET on 12/1/16 and ends at 11:59 p.m. on 11/30/17. Open to legal residents of the 50 United States and the District of Columbia, 21 years or older. One entry per person per e-mail address per day. Void where prohibited. Sponsor: Meredith Corporation.

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you. F I N D YO U R H E A LT H Y, H A P P Y M O M P L A C E

MCG/TRUNK ARCHIVE.

look mom, no creases! To keep your concealer from creeping into fine lines, try this pro trick: After applying your eye makeup, dip a cotton swab in a liquid makeup remover like Garnier SkinActive Micellar Cleansing Water ($9; drugstores) and swipe it under the lash line. You’ll take away the excess concealer that tends to migrate (without disturbing the rest). Morning mission accomplished!

JANUARY 2017

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looking good

2017’s top trends for moms The year’s just getting started, but we’ve already spotted a bunch of new beauty items that are worth your time (and dime). by TRACY PEREZ

Velcro rollers are so 2016! HOT NOW!

More Welcoming 5 AMatte

Hot Rollers, Revamped

Why did a tool that basically does all the heavy lifting for you ever go out of style? Fortunately, rollers are making a comeback, and they’re more sophisticated than ever. The Remington T|Studio Thermaluxe Setter ($35; target.com) heats up in 90 seconds and creates shiny, bouncy curls in five minutes with no creases thanks to the plastic clips that hold the rollers in place—a serious upgrade from the metal pins of the past.

Cultured Skin Care

The same kind of good-for-your-gut bacteria found in yogurt has been shown to reduce acne and rosacea when applied to skin. In a pinch, slather on plain organic Greek yogurt. Or once or twice a week, use a probiotic-rich product like the Tata Harper Purifying Mask ($65; sephora.com).

Nail Polish That Nourishes

A smart chemist figured out how to infuse Sally Hansen Color Therapy ($9; drugstores) with argan oil. The result: It conditions while sitting pretty. Available in 38 shades, shown here in Pampered in Pink.

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Broccoli-seed oil (aka brassica-seed oil) is the latest leafy green extract going into hair and skin products. It acts like a natural alternative to silicone, so you can get smooth hair without relying on synthetic ingredients. Try Madam C. J. Walker Beauty Culture Smoothing Brassica Seed & Shea Oils Silkening Blow Out Crème ($26; sephora.com). And because broccoli is rich in vitamin C , it helps your skin maintain a healthy glow. We recommend Elemis Superfood Facial Oil ($72; elemis.com).

One-Stop Hair Damage Repair

TRESemmé Repair & Protect 7 Conditioner ($5; drugstores), part of a new four-piece styling system, promises to correct the seven main types of hair damage (blow-drying, curling, and coloring to name a few) in just one use with the help of biotin, a B vitamin. Think of it as a reset button for your hair.

WOMAN: MARTIN RUSCH. BEAUTY PRODUCTS: JEFFREY WESTBROOK. BROCCOLI: VASILIKI VARVAKI/GETTY.

Broccoli for Better Hair and Skin

The latest gel-based lipsticks give you the vibrant color of a stain while also packing in hydrating ingredients like hyaluronic acid. Try Revlon Ultra HD Gel Lipcolor ($9 each; drugstores), shown here in (from left to right) Vineyard, Lava, and Dawn.

“

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CRUNCHY WHEAT. FROSTED SWEET.

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feeling fit

the right workout for you Jump-start the new year by signing up for one of these streaming services—whatever your fitness goal. by CHRISANNE GRISE Make exercise a habit. TRY Booya Fitness WHY IT’S GREAT In addition to more

than 100 enticing classes, it offers optional preset workout schedules that come with daily reminder e-mails to keep you accountable and encourage you to eat healthy. Don’t miss the Busy Mom’s 4 Week Workout Plan ($5), which features

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48 J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7

four classes per week, ranging from Barre to High Intensity Interval Training to Pilates. Prefer to create your own plan? Sort the videos based on your energy level, the equipment required, even how noisy they are. PRICE $10 for one month, $27 for three months, or $100 for a year of basic service; booyafitness.com

Have fun! TRY Crunch Live WHY IT’S GREAT Zany, high energy,

and surprising—that’s how to describe Crunch Gym’s streaming service. A few highlights: a fast-paced cardio dance class called Lyrical Hip Hop, a sweat-inducing Broadway Dance workout featuring music from Dreamgirls and Chicago,

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You’ll be smiling too once you quit schlepping to the gym.

one good thing leads to another. or 3 in this case. well, unless you have to share. then it’s 2. we did the math.

A little goodness is the beginning of greatness. Whole nuts with real fruit and dark chocolate. Plus 100mg of naturally occurring cocoa ﬂavanols—the good stuff in dark chocolate. And no, we didn’t just make that up. Check the Interwebs.

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feeling fit

and a challenging series starring the Brooklynettes dance team. There’s even a Stiletto Strength class to help you master the art of wearing heels. Short on time? Crunch offers 15-minute quickie videos. PRICE $10 per month, $90 for a year; crunchlive.com/what-you-get

Tighten up all over. TRY FitFusion WHY IT’S GREAT With a library of

more than 325 videos and an emphasis on intensity, this service may be your ticket to toned. Try Jillian Michaels Hot Body Healthy Mommy series—a trio of 30-minute high-impact workouts intended to reshape your upper body, lower body, and core. You can also sort videos by the body part they target. If you have access to a stationary bike, FitFusion’s cycling videos can transport you to beautiful locales, including the Irish countryside, South Africa, and the Ozarks. PRICE $10 per month; fitfusion.com

series designed to improve mental focus and an assortment of short meditations. Each time you log in, the service asks whether you’re feeling calm or energized and how vigorous a class you’d like. You can also filter the classes (there are more than 3,500!) based on your current priority—whether that’s improving digestion or including your kids in your practice. PRICE $18 per month; yogaglo.com

Stay in shape while you’re pregnant. TRY Moms Into Fitness WHY IT’S GREAT This site features

more than 75 routines designed for expectant and postpartum mothers, all led by Lindsay Brin, a pre- and postnatal fitness specialist. Choose an exercise schedule to follow (basic or advanced), or pick workouts as you see fit. Sort by pregnancy trimester, type of workout (upper body, core, or cardio), and time required. PRICE $13 per month; momsinto fitness.com

Find your Zen. TRY YogaGlo WHY IT’S GREAT All the classes are

filmed in a soothing, minimalist yoga studio; the selection includes a

corner—and the supportive users in this site’s online forum can be just that. Daily Burn streams a live 30-minute workout to its home screen every day at 9 A.M. EST. You can do it as it airs, watch the recording for the next 24 hours, or access the site’s archived workouts (everything from cardio to yoga to strength training) anytime. PRICE $15 per month; dailyburn.com

Lose the baby weight. TRY Daily Burn WHY IT’S GREAT It’s hard to drop

pounds without cheerleaders in your

A yoga class that actually fits your schedule? Ohm-azing!

Pocket Trainers Target your trouble zones with these apps. ARMS 30 Day

Toned Arms Challenge You’ll get a few quick, simple exercises (such as arm circles and power punches) every day; the daily workouts become increasingly strenuous as you progress. Free for iOS and Android (available as “30 Day Fit Challenge Workout” for Android); $2 for ad-free version; jozicproductions.com

ABS Runtastic

Six Pack Ab Workout Choose a plan (level 1 takes ten days; level 3 lasts for 25) and come back daily for a new routine designed to flatten your tummy. Free with $5 in-app purchase for iOS and Android; runtastic.com

BUTT Butt

Sworkit Rotate between three fun tushtightening video workouts. You set the length of time, from five minutes to an hour. Free for iOS; $3/month for premium version; sworkit.com

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Designated bins and totes help keep kid clutter under control.

messy no more! Four professional organizer moms share their secrets for controlling clutter and managing the unique breed of mess that families make. JANUARY 2017

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“Don’t expect to be organized overnight. Understand that you didn’t get to where you are in a day. It’s going to be a process.” Stephanie Christopoulos, mom of an 8-year-old daughter, lives in Atlanta. In addition to residential projects, she specializes in relocation services and home-office organization—and does it all with a slow-and-steady approach.

There are so many kitchen gadgets. Dream

Establish an out-box for your home. I have a

Drawer dividers (1) give your tools a designated home. Kitchen Dream

bin by the door; if I need to return something, it goes into the bin. That way it’s contained, I see it, and I don’t forget about it. (2) Kneatly Knit Rope Bins, $49 each; landofnod.com

Drawer Organizers, $15 for two; containerstore.com Binder clips are great multitaskers. I use them

to tie cords together, to organize my headphones in my purse, to close a bag of chips, and more. I use Post-it Notes for everything, especially

Your IRL out-box: the most colorful way to kick the mess out the door.

in the early stages of organizing when I’m putting things into categories. I even write my to-do list on a Post-it and put it by the door to grab when I go out.

When I work with families, I include kids in a family meeting. I ask them questions. I might say, “What games do you like?

Do you enjoy puzzles?” to better understand what motivates the kids, which gives parents ideas to get them more invested in keeping rooms organized.

Make a habit of productivity. When you have a minute to kill, instead of checking Instagram, look at your to-do list. (Save it on your phone.)

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THIS PAGE, FROM TOP: PORTRAIT: COURTESY OF STEPHANIE CHRISTOPOULOS. PETER ARDITO (3). OPPOSITE PAGE, FROM TOP: PORTRAIT: VIVIAN JOHNSON PHOTOGRAPHY. TOMATO AND PHOTOS: ALESSANDROZOCC/GETTY AND RICHARD CANO/GETTY. TOY: PETER ARDITO.

“Minimalism scares people: They’re afraid that they are going to be in a stark white box, but minimalism isn’t a lack—it’s the perfect amount of something. I help clients strip away all the things that they don’t use.” Shira Gill, a mom of two daughters, ages 5 and 7, is from Berkeley, California. Gill offers clients organization and styling services but says she really thinks of herself as a clutter coach.

Artkive is my favorite app to digitally store and organize kids’ artwork. (3) They offer a full-

service option where you can send in the art; it’s professionally digitized and you receive a hardcover portfolio book. $149 for one book with up to 50 pieces of art; artkiveconcierge.com

When you’re faced with a daunting organizing task, try The Pomodoro Technique, a simple productivity system that

helps you break a project into focused blocks of time (25 minutes) followed by a five-minute break to recharge. It’s helpful for tackling dreaded projects such as piles of unfiled paperwork.

who are you calling “babyish”?

Remember: There is no magic container. Getting organized is about reducing the clutter to begin with.

it organized.” For example, for incoming papers I like Nate Berkus’s Tabletop File with Hanging Folders (4) ($13; target.com)—it makes the daily act of filing more pleasant. It’s great to get kids involved in the process of purging. My trick is to ask them, “What feels babyish?” Kids love the idea of being a big boy or a big girl, which allows them to let go.

Any time you can elevate the appearance of your bins, your baskets, your file folders—or

ScanCafe is a brilliant service for restoring and digitizing old photos,

even your trash can—it reinforces the idea that “this is my home. I want to take care of it and keep

slides, and negatives for easy digital storage. Value Kit, 500 scans for $145; scancafe.com

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“People think, ‘Once I get organized, life will be perfect.’ It will get better, but it doesn’t end there. You have to maintain that organizing every day.” Master Cruz, mom of a 5-year-old boy and a 1-year-old girl, lives in Valencia, California. A former U.S. Army captain and chemist, Cruz’s background helps her create streamlined solutions. However, there’s nothing militaristic about her approach.

Corral like objects and edit through them. For

example, office supplies, such as pens and pencils or scissors, are spread all over the place. Once you consolidate them, you can figure out how many you need. I love hearing people say, “I didn’t realize I had two drawers full of pens!” I don’t understand why people keep empty boxes. You’ve got to let

If children assist you when you set up an organizing system, they have that sense of “I built this. I can maintain it.”

My son and I created bins with photo labels on them together, so he knows what belongs where. For closet and kitchen organizing, you need to measure to maximize the space, especially before purchasing organizing products. My favorite tool is my laser measure. (5)

It’s so zippy—I get exact measurements with the push of a button. Bosch Blaze GLM 20 Laser Measure, $50; amazon.com

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The best way to clean up toys is a time race. I say, “I wonder how long will it take to put the dinosaurs away? Let’s count!”

them go! Recycle them. If you need the information on the packaging, snap a digital photo of it. When helping clients edit their wardrobe, if there’s something they’re on the fence about, I’ll ask, “If you ran into your exboyfriend while wearing this, would you feel embarrassed or great?”

If they say “embarrassed,” I tell them to get rid of it.

Aunt Ada won’t mind. Really.

Memorabilia is hard because there’s personal history there. I ask, “Are you honoring your friend or family member by putting an object they gave you in a box?” Use it or let it go.

OPPOSITE PAGE, CLOCKWISE FROM PORTRAIT: ALAN SYLVA; JONNY VALIANT; PETER ARDITO; ANTAGAIN/GETTY; PETER ARDITO; ERIC FERGUSON/GETTY. THIS PAGE, PORTRAIT: COURTESY OF KATIE TRACY. SOCK: PETER ARDITO. SHELVES: JASON DONNELLY.

Shoes are such a problem because we kick them off everywhere. There’s

projects, we take a photo, print, and file.

a disconnect between where we store shoes and where we use them.

Mismatched hangers drive me insane. If you

The fix is storage cubbies near the door, or in my house it’s just a designated pile—whatever works!

“I like to compare professional organizers to personal trainers. We can help get you to your organization goals, just like a trainer helps you reach physical ones.” Katie Tracy, is a mom of two girls, ages 3 and 9, from Parlin, New Jersey. An organizer who calls herself a “Simplicity Expert,” Tracy creates systems that clients can keep up after she’s gone.

I recommend that my clients use something I call “up-down” baskets.

I have a basket at the top of the stairs and one at the bottom. Throughout the day, if I find something that belongs upstairs

while I am downstairs, I toss it into the basket. At the end of the day, as the kids are brushing their teeth, I empty the baskets, and it’s done. Triangle Baskets, $44 and $115; shophorne.com (6)

My system for school papers and artwork is to collect them for a year. If my kids worked

really hard on something, I put it in an open bin (the rest gets recycled). At the end of the school year, I go through it all with them and pick the top ten pieces and place them in a binder. For three-dimensional

change to just one type of matching hanger, even without doing anything else, you will instantly feel more organized.

Joy Huggable Hangers, $9 for ten; target.com (7) I mounted a shower tension rod in my daughter’s closet. It’s

below the main rod at her height and we hang all her dress-up clothes on the lower bar. She can reach them for playtime— and easily put them back.

I’m a huge fan of Big Brothers Big Sisters. In my area, they send me a postcard (in yours it may be a text) once a month that tells me when their truck will be nearby. I can go online to schedule a pickup. Leading up to our donation, I keep a bag in my closet for things to give away.

7 These bins help clutter find its home.

We waste so much energy matching socks. Start fresh: Throw out your singletons and buy a 12-pack of identical socks.

A Safe Haven Young children are curious, and they love to explore the world around them—especially their homes. As any parent will tell you, it only takes a second for accidents to happen, so it’s important to keep your home safe for little explorers.

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Clean Lint Traps Household ﬁres can start from uncleaned dryer lint traps, so it is

Iron & Ironing Board An iron on a shelf with a dangling cord is an accident waiting to happen. Always

important to keep them clean and inspect them often. Also, keep cords, pipes, tubes, and connections out of sight or out of reach. after each use.

Laundry Detergent & Supplies Detergents and other laundry products should be stored safely and out of reach of little hands. Make sure containers are sealed after each use, and stored up high. And take special care with laundry pacs—never let your children handle laundry pacs, and choose child safety products like Tide PODS® Child-Guard™ Pack whenever possible to help prevent children from opening the package.

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Keep laundry pacs away from children

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protect+ prevent

fireproof your family Only half of parents say their kids would know what to do in this emergency — and even fewer have ever practiced an escape plan. Learn the surprisingly simple ways to stop a fire from starting and safeguard your loved ones. by JEANNETTE MONINGER

WHEN A LOUD beeping roused Gina von Esmarch from a deep slumber early one morning last May, she assumed it was her alarm clock. But when she opened her bedroom door, she saw smoke filling the hallway and living room, steps from where her two kids were sleeping. The noise was the smoke alarm. Von Esmarch screamed for Alexander, 8, and his sister, Gabriella, 11, to get out of the house. As the kids scooped up the dog and raced

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out the front door, she called the security company that monitored the home for fires and break-ins, and asked them to send help. “I was in such a panic that I didn’t think to dial 911,” she says. As von Esmarch waited for firefighters to arrive, she doused the flames with a fire extinguisher that she kept in the kitchen. Gabriella and Alexander huddled in the driveway, worried about their mother’s safety. (Their dad was

out of town.) “It chills me to think about what could have happened that day,” she says. The fire department later traced the fire to a hot plate the family had been using during their kitchen renovation. The heat from the appliance—which von Esmarch says had been turned off two days earlier—ignited nearby dish towels, napkins, and a wooden cutting board. The home’s hardwired alarm system had been improperly

illustrations by BO LUNDBERG

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staying safe

safety schedule Add these check-ins to your calendar to keep your home and family prepared. ONCE A MONTH ... Press the test button on every smoke alarm in your home to make sure each device is working. (Gather the kids so they know how the alarms sound.) Use this time to recap your family’s fire-escape plan.

reconnected during the renovation, so it hadn’t detected the smoke. Fortunately, the battery-operated smoke alarms did their job. About 357,000 homes catch fire in the United States every year, leading to over 13,000 injuries and more than 2,400 deaths. Fire deaths often occur in homes with nonfunctional smoke alarms. The batteries are dead, wires are improperly connected, or the device itself is defective. Having working smoke alarms is critical, but they won’t get everyone in your home out safely. For that, you need to practice an escape plan for every room every six months. A survey in Public Health Reports found that only 52 percent of households have a fire-escape plan,

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and within that number, only 16 percent test the plan every six months. “Thinking about a potential fire should not scare most kids but instead empower them to stay calm,” says Mary Aitken, M.D., director of the Injury Prevention Center at Arkansas Children’s Hospital, in Little Rock. You can find tools to start the conversation (including activity sheets and a guide to drawing an escape plan) at safekids.org, the website of the nonprofit Safe Kids Worldwide. Kelly Burgo, of New Bedford, Massachusetts, wishes his family had practiced a fire drill at home. When a cigarette set his home ablaze in 2014, it trapped his wife and 22-year-old stepson in a bedroom. His son Jayden, then 9, was the only one who sprang into action and called 911. He remembered what he’d been taught in a fire-safety class at school. Although his mom and brother suffered third-degree burns, Jayden saved their lives that day. Master the fire-safety guidelines and strategies on the following pages, and you’ll be able to save lives too.

EVERY 6 MONTHS ... Review and practice your fire plan both during the day and at night. Replace smoke-alarm batteries. Some families like to do this the same day they change their clocks for daylight saving time. Check the manufacture date on your smoke alarm (you’ll find it on the back of the device, the face of the electronic horn, inside the battery compartment, or on the top sensing chamber). Because alarm sensitivity decreases with age, it’s important to replace any unit that has been around longer than ten years. (If you see a code instead of a date, that means the alarm was manufactured before 1999.) Even if your home has a hardwired security system that detects fire, you still need separate battery-operated smoke alarms as a safeguard.

Hot Spots Around the House Install a smoke alarm in every bedroom, outside each sleeping area, and on every level of your home. Then keep this room-specific advice in mind.

Kitchen TOP FIRE STARTER Food left unattended on the stove SMART SAFEGUARDS

Install the smoke alarm at least 10 feet from cooking appliances to minimize false alarms. Turn off the stove every time you leave the kitchen. Never leave home if the oven is on or the dishwasher is running. Wear short or close-fitting sleeves while cooking. Keep children at least 3 feet from the stove at all times. In the event of a small grease

fire, slide a lid over the pan and turn off the burner. Don’t move the pan; leave the lid on until the pan is completely cool. If faced with an oven fire, keep the door shut and turn off the oven. When in doubt, go outside and call 911.

Bedrooms TOP FIRE STARTERS

Cigarettes and

candles SMART SAFEGUARDS

Keep cigarettes, lighters, and matches up high in a locked cabinet, out of reach of children. Don’t smoke in the house.

how to use a fire extinguisher Keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen, master bedroom, garage, and upstairs hall. When should you use one? Only in these cases: the flames are not growing and are contained in a small area and the air is mostly smoke-free, the room temperature is comfortable, and you have access to a clear exit. Then think PASS: Pull the pin. Aim low, pointing the nozzle at the fire’s base. Squeeze the lever slowly and evenly. Sweep the nozzle carefully from side to side.

Besides being a fire hazard, it’s unhealthy for children and pets to be around secondhand smoke. If you do smoke in your home, use a proper ashtray and never smoke while in bed. Douse cigarette butts, ashes, and matches with water or sand before disposing of them. Extinguish candles whenever you leave a room. Keep candles out of the reach of children and pets. Never burn a candle on or near anything that can catch fire, and always place it on a flat surface so it won’t easily tip over.

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Laundry Room Dryer with a clogged lint trap, a leaking washer Scrape out your dryer’s lint trap before or after each load of laundry. Clean the lint from the dryer’s vent pipe every year or more often if you notice that clothes are taking too long to dry, or hire a professional to do it. Regularly check the dryer’s outdoor vent flap to make sure it’s not blocked by snow, leaves, or debris. Never leave home when the washing machine or dryer is operating. Plug appliances directly into the wall, not into an extension cord. TOP FIRE STARTERS

SMART SAFEGUARDS

hatch your escape plan Follow these steps to craft an exit strategy that gets your family out of the house as safely and quickly as possible.

Walk through your home together and identify all windows and doors. Find at least two exits in each room.

Store a collapsible escape ladder near a window in each upstairs room. Every family member should regularly practice setting up the ladder from a first-floor window to ensure he or she can do it.

Make sure all doors and windows can be opened easily and that all adults know how to operate the emergencyrelease devices on window guards in upstairs rooms.

Fireplace TOP FIRE STARTER

Basement Ash residue in

the chimney SMART SAFEGUARDS

Hire a qualified company to clean it every fall. Keep flammable materials, including furniture and firewood, at least 3 feet from the fireplace. Use a sturdy screen to prevent sparks from flying into the room. Allow ashes to cool completely before disposing of them in a nonflammable container kept a safe distance from your home.

Portable or fixed space heaters, woodburning stove, hot-water heater

TOP FIRE STARTERS

SMART SAFEGUARDS

Install a smoke alarm above the lowest step on the basement stairs to detect smoke before it reaches the ground level. Keep flammable objects 3 or more feet from heaters. Turn off space heaters when you leave the room or go to bed. Never plug a space heater into an extension cord.

Extra Help for Kids Who Need It Children with special needs often require additional fire-safety plans, says Lorraine Carli, vice president of outreach and advocacy at the National Fire Protection Association. For example, if your child is hearing impaired, he may need visual smoke alarms; if he uses a wheelchair, home fire sprinklers could give him more time to escape. For more information, consult the Emergency Evacuation Planning Guide for People With Disabilities at nfpa.org.

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Draw a floor plan of your home, marking all doors, windows, and stairwells. Use the diagram to show your children how to escape in case you aren’t able to help them.

Establish an outside meeting place, such as the mailbox, a light pole, or a neighbor’s porch.

If your family lives in an apartment or multi-unit building, review the building’s evacuation plan. Teach your children to always take the stairs if there’s a fire.

Demonstrate how to stay low to the ground (by rolling or army crawling) when moving through smoke.

Make sure your kids know to never reenter a room or the house to find a person or a pet.

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“You can’t get too much winter in the winter.” — Robert Frost

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Welcome to the big, messy, beautiful journey of #AMAZINGHOOD.

ages + stages

BABY 0-12 months

crying out loud It’s your infant’s natural way to communicate, but you can lessen unnecessary tears. by HARVEY KARP, M.D., creator, The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD/book

MOST NEWBORNS fuss and cry for about an hour and a half each day— typically because they’re tired, hungry, or under- or overstimulated. However, some infants cry for more than three hours a day and are much harder to soothe. Persistent crying has often been called colicky crying, although doctors have been moving away from using this term. It usually begins when a baby is 2 or 3 weeks

old and hits its peak around 6 weeks. It often starts improving by 2 months and is gone by 3 or 4 months. Getting through the in-between period requires a shift in what you may assume your baby needs.

Smooth the transition. The word colic comes from ancient Greek, meaning colon. For thousands of years, people thought that babies

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baby

were crying because they had intestinal pain. Of course, babies can have intestinal sensations, but there are several ways we know this type of crying doesn’t arise from pain. For example, going out for a car ride or turning on a hair dryer for white noise works to calm a lot of babies, but it wouldn’t do anything for pain. I believe that babies are born three months before they’re truly ready to interact with the world. I call this period the “fourth trimester.” That’s why the best way to soothe your baby is to help recreate the sensations she was accustomed to before birth. Inside the womb, there’s constant motion and sound—it’s louder than a vacuum cleaner 24/7. Your baby heard noise from the outside, like voices, as well as inside, like your heartbeat. She also felt a jiggling motion every time you walked.

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toddler

But when you bring your baby home, everybody says, “Tiptoe—the baby’s sleeping!” And you put her in a flat bed in a quiet room by herself, which is sensory-depriving for a baby who’s used to a rich environment of sensation. She can take it for only so long, and by the end of the day she loses it. That’s why people talk about the “witching hour.”

probiotics to breastfed or formulafed infants with colic does not appear to have any benefit. Ultimately, a lack of healthy bacteria in the gut can’t be the cause of crying in most cases. We know this because breastand bottle-fed babies have the same incidence of colic yet have a very different balance of intestinal flora.

Know when to get help. Improve your soothing. When you imitate the experience your baby had in the womb, it triggers a calming reflex, which is like an off switch for crying. As I outlined in my DVD and book The Happiest Baby on the Block, the 5 S’s can help simulate that womblike sensation. They are: swaddling until he is old enough to roll over; holding him on his stomach, side, or over your shoulder (for calming, but never for sleeping); loudly shushing; swinging; and offering a pacifier for sucking. These work for non-colicky criers too; the persistent ones are just more sensitive and get more upset by either too much stimulation or too much quiet. They need more rhythmic calming throughout the day to keep on an even keel. It also helps to carry your baby around, hold him skin-to-skin, go for long walks, do massage, use white noise, and put him in a swing or my SNOO smart sleeper. All these things won’t just make him feel happy; they’ll activate that calming reflex. And the more you do them, the longer your baby will stay tranquil. It’s like putting a deposit in the bank. Some parents are tempted to reach for probiotics to quiet crying. Probiotics are a million-dollar industry, but they are probably not a solution for the majority of fussy babies. Although small trials have suggested that they help some babies, a larger study published in The BMJ (formerly the British Medical Journal) found that giving

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When the 5 S’s don’t work, 90+ percent of the time it’s because you need to tweak your technique. If you’re doing them correctly and they still don’t work, then your baby is telling you that something else is going on. Occasionally, a baby who cries for three hours or more a day does have some sort of medical problem. She may have a food allergy, acid reflux, or a hernia. Those issues

may come out of the blue; your baby has been behaving normally and one day she starts screaming and acting strange. If that happens, you should call your doctor. Fortunately, persistent crying is not psychologically or physically damaging for babies. It can, however, cause very serious problems for parents. It may trigger postpartum depression, marital stress, child abuse, even car accidents. If your baby won’t stop crying, you might start doing unsafe things, like bringing her into bed with you. It can also encourage unhealthy behavior: You may start overeating because of the stress and stop exercising because you’re tired. Even though it doesn’t require medicine, crying is not trivial. It’s an important issue that needs to be addressed.

TODDLER 1-2 years

bizarre behavior Your child may start developing some very odd habits around now. We’ll tell you which are worth a closer look. by ARI BROWN, M.D., author of Toddler 411

FROM THE first smile to the first step, you watched your baby hit one milestone after another and recorded each with pride. Then he turned into a toddler—and suddenly he’s eating carpet tufts, banging his head against a wall, or exploring his private parts in public places. Of course, you may wonder whether these kooky habits are really on the developmental checklist or if you should be worried. In most cases, they help your child stay calm and feel in control of his world, but it’s helpful to know why they happen and which ones might be worth mentioning to your pediatrician.

Self-Soothing WHAT’S NORMAL?

When a kid this age is stressed, tired, or bored, she may comfort herself by moving her body repetitively. It’s common for toddlers to rock back and forth as a way to unwind, and in some cases to bang their head rhythmically against a wall, floor, or crib railing. While watching these actions can be scary, very few children hurt themselves this way, and they usually outgrow the habit by around age 3. (To further reduce the risk of injury, try to move your child to a carpeted area when she begins a head-banging episode.)

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ages + stages

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toddler

Some toddlers soothe themselves by sucking on a thumb, finger, or pacifier. Others bite their nails. These habits are endearing when your child is a baby but a lot less adorable when she’s a toddler. Still, they aren’t truly a concern until age 4, when incessant sucking raises the risk of dental and speech problems. Thumbs and Binkies aren’t the only items that may go into your kid’s mouth. A 12- to 24-month-old might chomp on carpet, dirt, or even your family pet’s food. NBD. Despite their deserved reputation for being picky eaters, toddlers love exploring things with their mouth. WHAT’S NOT?

Rocking her body, banging her head, or doing other repetitive movements all day long Eating nonfood items constantly in combination with other red flags, such as delayed language milestones and a lack of connectedness to parents or siblings

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Clinging to Rituals WHAT’S NORMAL?

Toddlers, like most adults, thrive on consistency and knowing what’s coming next. So it’s natural for your 1- or 2-year-old to demand that you stick to a particular routine, and for one tiny deviation to cause a major meltdown. Some kids like to line up their toys a particular way and become unglued if a single piece is moved. This behavior alone is not worrisome—as long as your child does this as part of a pretendplay narrative, such as needing to organize his trains at the station to sleep for the night. WHAT’S NOT?

Needing to carry out rituals to the point that it interferes with his eating, sleeping, or daily routine An obsession with lining up toys precisely but showing no interest in playing with them Having poor communication skills and seeming to be in his own world

Body Exploration WHAT’S NORMAL?

Let’s be honest: Little kids love to pick their nose. The buried treasure they find is fascinating to them (and a practical way to get rid of bothersome boogers). Encourage your kid to use a tissue. Otherwise, don’t sweat it. It’s also natural for toddlers to touch their private parts. And because it feels good, they like to repeat the behavior. A girl patient of mine used to enjoy rubbing herself on restaurant high chairs more than she enjoyed the meal itself. Her family ultimately decided to eat in for the rest of her toddler years. Teach your child that this behavior is perfectly acceptable, but the right place to do it is in the privacy of your home, not in public. WHAT’S NOT?

Being preoccupied with touching her body parts at the expense of reading, playing, and exploring

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ages + stages

•

preschooler

PRESCHOOLER 3-4 years

fickle friendships Relationships may seem rocky at this age, but you can help your child get along. by EILEEN KENNEDY-MOORE, Ph.D., author of The Unwritten Rules of Friendship

“I DON’T like my friends!” my daughter announced, scowling with irritation after a playdate. A couple of hours earlier, my 4-year-old had greeted her two friends with excited hugs when they’d arrived at our house. But after watching them play with her toys, ignore her instructions, wander off when she wanted them to stay near, and pursue their own ideas about what they wanted to do, she’d had enough. Preschool friendships often have more drama than a reality TV show. Most 3- and 4-year-olds care about having friends, but they can still struggle to be a good friend. One minute they announce, “You’re my best friend!” and the next minute they insist, “You can’t come to my birthday party!” At this age, friends are openly affectionate and eager to be together, but they also argue more than non-friends. Take these steps to help your preschooler build strong and healthy bonds.

Talk about feelings. Children at this age are beginning to understand that other people have thoughts and feelings that may be different from their own. This new ability means that preschoolers can care for and comfort a friend. While younger kids might bring their mom over to console a crying peer, preschoolers realize that the friend will often want his own mom. Research has shown that when parents discuss emotions as they

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come up in real life or in books and movies, children become better at grasping and imagining someone else’s point of view. This type of perspective-taking is a foundation for friendship. You could say things like, “He’s scared because he’s never done that before,” or “She feels happy because her friend shared the crayons and markers.”

Arrange playdates. Playing together gives kids an opportunity to practice getting along. Although bigger groups can be fun, your child will have the easiest time playing with just one other child. Preschoolers do have preferences for certain kids over others, so involve your child in deciding which friend to invite over. This is the age when pretend play takes off, and friends can work together to act out complicated imaginary scenes. They can have fun fighting bad guys, being veterinarians, or having the power to put someone else to bed. Because they know each other, friends are better at coordinating their pretend roles than preschoolers who have never interacted. But keep a playdate short—one to two hours is plenty.

Preschoolers can feel overwhelmed when trying to play with more than one person at a time.

Getting along with friends is hard work for preschoolers, so it’s better to end on a high note than to drag things out until both kids are feeling tired and cranky.

Coach friendliness. Although preschoolers are becoming more empathetic, they can sometimes be insensitive or even mean. They tend to assume that other kids think the same way they do, so when a friend doesn’t do exactly what they want, they may get upset and shout, “You’re not my friend anymore!” They argue about possessions, like who gets to ride the red tricycle or play certain roles, saying things like, “I don’t want to be the baby horse! I’m a tiger!” They will also often casually exclude a third child who tries to join them, announcing, “You can’t play with us! We were here first!” This happens partly because they are defending their turf, but preschoolers also can feel overwhelmed when they are trying to coordinate play with more than one person at a time. Encourage your child to greet friends, say please and thank you, take turns, and share. If the kids hit a rough spot, you can explain how the friend is feeling and ask your child, “What can you do to help her feel better?” You can also be there to redirect the argument and get the kids back on track to having fun together by suggesting, “Let’s go outside to play!” or asking, “Who would like to have a snack?” My own daughter’s frustration with her friends was short-lived. It was difficult for her to understand and accept that her friends didn’t necessarily want to do exactly what she wanted to do all the time, but fortunately, preschoolers’ feelings change quickly. By the next day, she was ready and eager to see her friends and play with them again.

Is getting your kids to sleep the holiday miracle you’re hoping for this year? Reclaim bedtime! “Will have your child asleep in minutes.” —The New York Post, on The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep

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—NPR on The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep

ages + stages

•

school-age & big kid

SCHOOL-AGE & BIG KID 5+ years

class wars If your child suddenly begs to stay home, you can figure out what else is going on. by JENNIFER MANN, Psy.D., author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy, Confident Kids

A FEW years ago, a mom came to me because her daughter, Lola, was having tantrums and refusing to go to school. She couldn’t understand why—Lola seemed to love her teacher and friends and had been enjoying first grade. After some digging, I found out that Lola had recently been home with the flu, where she got extra TLC from her mom and watched as much TV as she wanted. When she had to go back to class, she started throwing fits—she’d realized it was more fun to stay home! Trying to avoid school by faking sickness, crying and clinging to you, or protesting getting out of pajamas, is very common at this age. It’s often just a small step backward in your child’s natural progression toward independence, but it can sometimes be a sign of anxiety issues. Whatever the cause, there are many strategies you can use to get her back to school.

Recognize his fears. We think kindergarten and the early grades are low-key, but for kids, school is hard work! Following rules and practicing new skills takes energy and effort. So if your child just had a relaxing winter break, when he got to eat his favorite foods and cuddle all morning with you—or even if he was home sick, like Lola—he may decide that he’d rather be at home than work hard back at school. Also, starting at age 5, there’s a natural spike in anxiety as children begin to understand that we are

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vulnerable. No matter how stable their life is, kids may develop fears about death, injury, or losing a parent—especially if something scary is on the news. They may worry while at school that something bad can happen to their parents—or to themselves—and they won’t be there to protect each other. Kids enjoy their new independence at this age, but they’re also scared of it.

Reduce the fun factor. As Lola’s parents found, sometimes children want to skip school simply because home is a better place to be. The solution is to make staying home from school boring! When your child complains of a headache in the morning, assess whether she’s actually sick. If there’s no fever, vomiting, or other telltale signs, try to get her to go to school. You can say, “Let’s just try. I can always come pick you up later,” since getting her out the door is half the battle. On days when she does stay home, of course you should take care of her, but don’t give her any screen time or treats. Once she knows that a sick day isn’t a play day, she’ll likely be eager to return to class.

Suss out the situation. Your child may be concerned about a specific problem, from the bus to a bully, but can’t quite express or understand what he wants to avoid. If he says he doesn’t want to go to school because of a tummy ache, try

to help him connect the dots by saying, “You know, sometimes my tummy hurts when I’m worried about being late. But if I think about how to be on time, my tummy usually stops hurting. What are you worried about?” You might find out a kid is being mean to him in class or he’s afraid he’ll get taken like he saw on the news. If he isn’t able to verbalize what’s wrong, ask his teacher. Once you find the real problem, talk to his teacher (or school counselor), especially if the issue is bullying, about solutions. Often, a bit of extra attention from his teacher—perhaps coming in early to read and talk with her—can work wonders. It may also help to keep a lovey or a picture of your family in your child’s cubby.

Address deeper problems. If your child constantly resists going to school, is so distraught that she can’t stop crying, or shows other signs of anxiety like nightmares or a fear of being left alone, ask your pediatrician about seeing a therapist who focuses on childhood anxiety. Another mom I know realized something was wrong when her daughter was in first grade. Annie had always worried about saying or doing the wrong thing but managed in kindergarten with a nurturing teacher. In first grade, however, her anxiety became so bad she tried peeing herself, hoping her clothes would be too wet to go to school. After two years of therapy, Annie is making a lot of progress and doing well in school. Keep in mind that being in a new grade is a big step—and a step backwards often accompanies a developmental leap. Empower your child by saying, “This may be a little scary, but you’re capable of handling it!” Knowing she can overcome her problems may be one of the most important lessons she ever learns in or out of school.

Lake Jocassee at Devils Fork State Park

Your home away from home. Sip your morning coffee from the summit of a lush mountain trail, joyride through Lake Jocassee’s crystal-clear waters or unwind around the campﬁre as fresh-caught trout cooks over an open f lame. Set up camp somewhere beautifully unfamiliar, and come to ﬁnd that all the comforts of home are right outside your door.

DiscoverSouthCarolina.com

my kid’s weirdest habit is ...

“Petting and grooming my husband’s beard.” —Sarah Powell

“A kitchen utensil obsession! He carries a spoon, whisk, or spatula everywhere we go.”

•

—April Hawkins

“Packing food into her mouth like a little squirrel ... and saving it for a while.”

•

—ThriftyNiftyBeckyOh

“Spinning around before he flushes the toilet.” —Sarah Morse

• • “Smelling her hand immediately after shaking hands with someone.” •

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—Erika

“Drinking bath or pool water like a dog.” —Chelsea Del Valle

illustration by ALEX EBEN MEYER

PARENTS (ISSN 1083-6373); January 2017, Vol. 92, No. 1, is published monthly by Meredith Corporation, 1716 Locust Street, Des Moines, IA 50309-3023. Periodicals postage paid at Des Moines, IA, and at additional mailing offices. Subscription prices, $15.98 per year in the U.S.; $27.00 (U.S. dollars) in Canada; $49.00 (U.S. dollars) overseas. POSTMASTER: Send all UAA to CFS. (See DMM 507.1.5.2); NON-POSTAL AND MILITARY FACILITIES: Send address corrections to Parents, P.O. Box 37508, Boone, IA 50037-0508. In Canada: mailed under Publications Mail Sales Product Agreement No. 40069223; Canadian BN 12348 2887 RT. Return undeliverable Canadian addresses to Parents, 2835 Kew D, Windsor, ON, N8T 3B7. © Meredith Corporation 2016. All rights reserved. Printed in the U.S.A.

• parents last laugh

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