venience foods, doing what they have to do to get by—and losing connection with one another in the process,” says Grey says. Large-scale research studies by social scientists back up Grey’s speculation. The last quarter of the 20th century saw a drop of a third in the number of people who regularly invite friends over and a 58 percent drop in the number who join community clubs and civic organizations (and actually attend the meetings), according to research by Robert Putnam, Ph.D., the author of the now iconic Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. In the 1960s, half of Americans said they trusted other people, even strangers; fewer than a third say so today. And a survey published in 2006 by University of Arizona and Duke University researchers drawing on 20 years of data found—hold on to your hat—that 25 percent of us lack a single close confidant (defined as someone with whom you can discuss “important matters”), while 50 percent of us are just one friend away from social isolation. “And social isolation is a strong predictor of premature death,” says Thomas Sander, the executive director of the Saguaro Seminar: Civic Engagement in America, a program of the Harvard Kennedy School, in Cambridge, Massachusetts. So we’re lonely and less involved, and it might be killing us. Lovely.
WHAT HAPPENED TO COMMUNITY? “Members of ‘the Greatest Generation’ [adults during World War II] were much more civicminded than their children and grandchildren
“We’ve lost many of our ‘third places’—the Main Streets, coffee shops, post offices, and pubs that served as central meeting spots in a community. Without those places, we don’t get to know the people around us.” —SOCIOLOGIST R AY OLDENBURG
seem to be: They voted more, joined more, gave more, trusted more,” says Sander. Since that time, families have become increasingly scattered. More than 60 percent of Americans move away from their hometowns, and 43 percent leave their home states, according to data collected by the Pew Research Center. We spend more time than ever in our cars, and we’ve lost many of what sociologist Ray Oldenburg calls our “third places”: the Main Streets, coffee shops, post offices, and pubs that served as central meeting spots in a community but that no longer exist in many suburbs. “Without these third places, we don’t get to know the people around us,” says Oldenburg. “We have no ‘place on the corner’ that can serve as an easy escape. And life without community means a lifestyle of the home-to-work-and-backagain shuttle.”
WHY CONNECTING MATTERS Socializing is good for our health, both physical and mental. When we have strong connections, we’re more likely to respond to stressful situations by joining together for comfort and protection. This is especially true for women. Psychologists call it the “tend and befriend” theory, and neuroscience research has shown that it wreaks far less havoc on the nervous system than the more primitive fight-or-flight response. “Other species have thick skin, sharp teeth, quick reflexes, or camouflage to protect themselves,” writes Shelley Taylor, the social psychologist at UCLA who pioneered the theory. Human beings adopted group living as their primary solution to the problem of survival. And on a physical level? Having a strong network of in-person connections can reduce your mortality risk as much as quitting smoking or booze. And it may have a bigger impact on your health than your weight or activity level does, according to a 2010 review of 148 studies published in the journal PLOS Medicine. Breast cancer patients who participate in support groups report less pain than do those who don’t. And one group of patients with a particularly aggressive strain even lived longer, according to research out of Stanford University.
APRIL 2015
196
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