ADVICE&REAL LIFE Parenting
“You should be grateful!” Unfortunately, simply telling kids how thankful they should be doesn’t make them feel actual gratitude. Here’s what does work.
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todaysparent.com November+December 2021
the same as cultivating it. Here’s how they recommend approaching the topic. DITCH THE EXPECTATIONS Telling kids to show gratitude isn’t an effective way to get them to do it. Instead, they sense the judgment or the pressure fuelled by our preconceived ideas about how they should behave, says Emily Edlynn, a clinical psychologist in Illinois. “It’s hard to preach gratitude,” says Laura Greenberg, a registered psychotherapist in Toronto. While parents should encourage kids
ILLUSTRATION: KIM SIELBECK
LAST HOLIDAY SEASON, RAMSEY HOOTMAN planned an activity for her sevenyear-old’s Cub Scout den. Because of COVID-19, the group had to forgo its traditional carolling and toy drive. Instead, Hootman had arranged for the kids to make cards for seniors at a local assisted-living facility. Unfortunately, the kids weren’t interested. “I had a really hard time getting any of them to participate,” Hootman says. She eventually persuaded her sons to make a few cards but felt disheartened by their lack of enthusiasm. Leading up to the project, Hootman had talked with her children about how lucky their family was to be together and how important it was to help others who weren’t able to see loved ones. Why didn’t her kids seem to be thankful? We all want our children to appreciate the good things in their lives—perhaps never more so than now. But experts say that asking children to show gratitude isn’t
