STEPS&STAGES
How to transition your toddler from napping to quiet time. TO D D LE R
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BABY
“I ONLY HAVE to make it to naptime” was my refrain every single morning when I was juggling a baby and a toddler. Amid the diaper blowouts, unending tantrums, and tears from all three of us, the one thing I could count on was the midday snooze. Until, that is, my son stopped napping. I panicked. How was I going to survive without a break? Enter Quiet Time. Though it might seem impossible at first, this is where a nap-resistant toddler can be taught to spend an hour or so quietly playing on their own in their room. For a cranky or over-stimulated kid (or parent), it can feel like hitting the reset button. “Explain to kids that quiet time is something our bodies need,” says Susie Allison, a former teacher and the creator of the popular Instagram account Busy Toddler. She notes that screen time can be a part of quiet time, but it shouldn’t be the sole focus. “Unstructured free
todaysparent.com November+December 2021
TODDLER
PRESCHOOL
play totally by themselves, independent of an adult, is the most beneficial type of play,” she says. After quiet play, she lets her kids watch a show before launching into the rest of the afternoon. My son started out doing 15 minutes of solo time in his room. I brought up a highly coveted box of train tracks, left some library books open on his bed, pulled out a puzzle, then closed the door and crossed my fingers. Back downstairs, I checked the video monitor: The train tracks were a hit, and he sat on his bed looking through some books. The next day, he did 20 minutes, and then 25, until we were at an hour. A solid, beautiful hour, followed by 30 minutes of TV. It wasn’t an instant success, and the number of times I wanted to give in and rely on Netflix was embarrassingly high, but I knew I needed to play the long game. IS MY TODDLER READY? There are a few signs, says Rosalee Lahaie Hera, a Toronto sleep consultant. Perhaps they’re resisting naptime altogether, or they do a long snooze in the afternoon but then take forever to fall asleep at night. “This is a sign that their drive to sleep is too low at bedtime and their sleep needs are decreasing overall. Switching to quiet time can help them settle more easily later.” Your toddler may drop their nap as early as two and a half years old, though it ranges widely, says Lahaie Hera. “Most kiddos are either resisting their nap, or pushing bedtime later as a result of their nap, by age three.” It can take a few weeks for kids to adjust to no nap; try to do an earlier bedtime for a while. SAFETY FIRST So how do you make this magical hour hap-
SCHOOL AGE
pen? First up: Toddler-proof the space. “Go through your child’s room and make sure it’s ready for them to be in there successfully and safely by themselves,” Allison says. Anchor furniture, secure any cords and remove any choking hazards, like Lego, from the bedroom. “The goal is to have an environment that the child can be both independent and safe in,” she says. WHERE TO DO IT My kids now do downtime separately, in their rooms, but Allison says that this can vary from house to house. “That might mean children in their bedrooms alone or siblings together in a playroom,” she says. VISUAL TIMERS Allison also recommends using a visual timer. “Time is very abstract to kids. A sand timer or a countdown clock helps them understand how long they’re going to be in this setting.” BOOKS AND AUDIOBOOKS I always start quiet time by reading—similar to our bedtime routine, to remind my kids that they’re going to be slowing their bodies down. Katherine Boyes, a mom of two kids in Ottawa, swears by audio books. “We have a very energetic oldest kid and the only time he slows down is with an audiobook,” she says. “He goes up to his room and quietly creates his own worlds with toy cars and planes while he listens.” BE FIRM AND CONSISTENT “If quiet time is important to your family, then you need to keep working on it,” says Allison. “That might mean walking your child back to their room and having firm conversations about the expectations, but don’t give up. It’s won’t happen on the first day, but they will begin to understand this new routine.”—Lindsay Zier-Vogel
PHOTO:STOCKSY ILLUSTRATION: VÉRONIQUE JOFFRE
PREGNANCY
