ADVICE&REAL LIFE Relationships
Friends and neighbours Families and friendships have been strained by conflicts over pandemic behaviour. Should we forgive and forget, or has COVID just revealed our true colours?
ILLUSTRATION: CÉCILE GARIEPY
IT WAS ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE MONTHS into the pandemic when Lisa Francis’s* eight-year-old daughter started getting sleepover invites from another family. Francis, who lives in Orillia, Ont., had been diligently following public health guidance, so she said no. “And the other mom said, ‘Oh, right, you’re still doing the whole pandemic thing,’” Francis recalls. She knew the two families had very different approaches to COVID rules and restrictions. Francis was limiting any contact beyond the members of her household, and they were avoiding indoor hangouts in particular. But this other family was going to the cottage with various groups of relatives, and their kids were regularly having sleepovers.
“It was clear from day one we had totally different points of view.” But because the kids have been friends since kindergarten, Francis would sometimes try to let her daughter participate in playdate invites in a way that felt pandemic-safe. The situation came to a head in early January of this year. At the time, Ontario was under a second stay-at-home order: You were supposed to leave your home only for exercise, work, groceries and medical appointments. Schools throughout the province were closed. The doorbell rang and Francis opened the door to find the other mom standing there with her three kids, none of them wearing masks. They asked if Francis’s daughter could come to the park. Francis saw that her daughter was excited to see her friend, and after weighing the potential mental-health benefits of this outdoor interaction with the public health risks, she decided she’d be OK with an outdoor playdate at the park as long as her daughter wore a mask. As she stood at the window, watching them walk away, she saw her daughter talk with the
28
todaysparent.com Summer 2021
