The Loafer 82

423-930-7319

www.theloafer.net

theloaferonlineprint@gmail.com

All advertisements are accepted and published by the publisher upon the representation that the agency and/or advertiser is authorized to publish the entire contents and subject matter thereof. The agency and/or advertiser will indemnify and save the publisher harmless from any lossof expense resulting from claims or suits based upon contents of any advertisement, including claims or suits for defamation, libel, right of privacy, plagiarism, and copyright infringement.

Founder: Bill Williams

week’s line-up

NOTE FROM THE PUBLISHER

Hello Friends!

Happy May!!!! I hope it’s true the rain brings us May flowers! I love Spring and Summer so much. Keep up with us on the events and festivals happening this season. This week we are absolutely delighted to feature Tiebreakers on our cover and inside. This place has brought so much joy to the area. We have needed it for a long time. If you don’t enjoy the games or bowling I promise you the food, there is worth the visit! We have eaten there several times and everything was delicious! It is nice to enjoy a meal while the kids play. That is a win in any family.

I hope everyone has a great week and remember this is the last month we have to drag those kids out of bed for school. Please remember us for your advertising needs.

Love, Lisa Durbin Publisher

Bristol TN/Va

WEDNESDAY May 3rd

Crash Test Radio 7:00pm at Cascade Draft House

THURSDAY May 4th

Allskate 6:00pm at Bristol Casino Bar

RJ Smith 7:00pm at Cascade Draft House

FRIDAY May 5th

Craig Street Ramblers 6:30pm at Bristol Casino Bar

The Knox By Night Band

7:00pm at Cascade Draft House

Blues Drivers 8:00pm at Delta Blues BBQ

Joshua Ray Walker 8:30pm at Bristol Casino Bar

SATURDAY May 6th

Julie Williams & The Hired Guns 5:30pm at Bristol Casino Bar

Cody Fair 7:00pm at Cascade Draft House

Red Dirt Revelators 8:00pm at Delta Blues BBQ

Victor Lawson & Boogie Chillen

8:30pm at Bristol Casino Bar

MONDAY May 8th

Anthony Childress 7:00pm at Cascade Draft House

Johnson City

TUESDAY May 2nd

Brim & Marci Leal 6:30pm at Rocks Wood Fired Pizza

WEDNESDAY May 3rd

HB Beverly 6:30pm at Rocks Wood Fired Pizza

THURSDAY May 4th

Irish Fiddle Tunes with Keegan & Rheva 5:30pm at Mulligan’s Gaming Pub

Justin Mychals 6:30pm at Rocks Wood Fired Pizza

Elderbug | HamRadio | Fairview

9:00pm at Capones

FRIDAY May 5th

Songwriters’ Night 7:00pm at the Down Home

Big Son 8:00pm at Mulligan’s Gaming Pub

Rusty Steel 9:30 at Wild Wing Cafe

Slick Cadillac | American Dropouts 10:00pm at Capone’s

SATURDAY May 6th

Wolf Jett 8:00pm at the Down Home

Coal Camp

9:30 at Wild Wing Cafe

Kris Rowdy & The Hellbillys | Bad Love 10:00pm at Capone’s

Kingsport

THURSDAY May 4th

Area 52 7:00pm at Market 2 Grille at Lakeview Marina

Kelly & Christian 7:00pm at The Sports Mill

Dan Herrell Acoustic 8:00pm at CJ’s Sports Bar

FRIDAY May 5th

Syren 7:00pm at Market 2 Grille at Lakeview Marina

Shooter Band 9:00pm at CJ’s Sports Bar

SATURDAY May 6th

Ali Randolph Band 7:00pm at Market 2 Grille at Lakeview Marina

Gypsy Moon Coalition 9:00pm at CJ’s Sports Bar

Elizabethton

SATURDAY May 6th

Kelly & Christian 7:00pm at Jiggy Ray’s

Johnson City Public Art to host Art·Struck Festival in May

The Johnson City Public Art Committee (JCPAC) will host its third annual Art·Struck Festival on May 6 at The Pavilion at Founders Park, 105 W. Main St., in downtown Johnson City from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. The festival will bring together artists and arts organizations to celebrate and support the arts community while highlighting the public art pieces that have been installed throughout Johnson City. Featuring art vendors, live music, a giant puppet march, road roller printmaking, art activities and demonstrations, and live performances, this family-friendly event is free and open to the public.

The Art·Struck Festival’s market will feature the work of over 60 artists ranging from painting, printmaking, and digital art to ceramics, fiber art, and jewelry. JCPAC member and artist Sage Perrott will oversee on-site road roller printmaking, generating oversized prints of an original, hand-carved design created by local artist Beka AddisonBrowder. The large-scale prints will be offered for sale to the public along with smaller prints on items such as bandanas and tote bags. The Cattywampus Puppet Council, a Knoxville organization, will lead a puppet march with giant paper mache puppets. Festival attendees are welcome and encouraged to participate in the march and will be provided with puppets and other items to carry. Attendees will also have the opportunity to enjoy hands-on activities such as a weaving fence, sculpture assembly, wand making, art puzzles, bucket drumming, and chalking.

Other Art·Struck highlights include a chalk art competition, a student

art display, and music, dance, and aerial acrobatics performances. Several bands will be located in the Founders Park Amphitheater including Whitetop Mountain Band, Charlie Maples, and Florencia & the Feeling. All these and more are brought to the public by generous sponsors: Bravissima!, Umoja Arts & Cultural Inc., and Fischman Gallery.

The following artists and organizations will be participating in the festival:

Art Demo/Activity Hosts

Girl Scouts of the Southern Appalachians

McKinney Center

Meraki Movement Studio / Dance

Renfrow Originals

Tennessee Craft

Informational Booths

ETSU Department of Art & Design

Washington College Academy

Watauga Valley Art League

Performers/Buskers

Cattywampus Giant Puppet March

11:30 a.m.-noon, 1-1:30 p.m.

Whitetop Mountain Band 12-1 p.m.

Martha Spencer 1-1:30 p.m.

Twirling Twins 1-3 p.m.

Charlie Maples 2-3 p.m.

Florencia & the Feeling 3:30-4:30 p.m.

Meraki Movement Studio’s Cultural Movement Art Exhibit

Art Vendors

Holly Allen

Melissa Gaffney

Emma Massick

Beth Andrews

Sonia Garcia

Will Morrison

Elise Askonas

Jean G’Fellers

Christina Nech

Sean Bailey

Richard Graves

Sarah Nobles

Adam Barnette

Erik Hansen

Taylor Norris

Marci Berkhimer

Ivy Hansen

Judy O’Hara

Kara Bledsoe

Raven Harmon

Marcy Parks

Kayla Byrd

Madison Hayton

Emily Parris

Judy Cable

Ashlee Hill

Xander Pope

Brett Cook

Deborah Hughes

Phoebe Proudlove

Elena Corradino

Nicole Hymowitz

Bill Russell

Kristen Dalpiaz

Willow Iverson

Brian Serway

Candice Davis

Sydney Jackson

Steven Shelton

Amy Deel

Kathryn Jenkins

Web Stevens

Misty Dempsey

Ryan Jenkins

Ginny Tallent

Sage Dinger

Haley Keene

Dianna Lynne Tucker

Aspen Draves

Tylynn Kilgore

Christy Ward

Tara Elouafi

Russell Lawson

Greg West

Kaitlyn Enderby

Elaina Blount Liles

Matt White

Lilith Erbach

Audrey Loveland

Stacie Williams

Jason Flack

Chelsea Magruder

Ashlyn York

Lamar Foster

Christina Majic

Angelique Fraley

Becky Hope Mallory

Sommer Franklin

Deborah Marshall

Grammy Nominated Folk Musician John McCutcheon at Heritage Hall

John McCutcheon

Fri. May 26

Mountain City

Heritage Hall Theatre

211 N. Church St. Showtime: 7:00p.m. Tickets: $25 heritagehalltheatre.org/event/ john-mccutcheon/

For fifty years now “Folk Music’s Rustic Renaissance Man” (Washington Post) John McCutcheon has been everywhere in the folk music scene. A breath-taking multiinstrumentalist, a traditional music archivist, one of the primary revivalists of the hammer dulcimer, a pioneering children’s and family artist, a prolific and wide-ranging songwriter, and the very definition of the touring Road Warrior. Until COVID.

Starting in March 2020, fresh from his twelfth Australian tour, he settled into homelife and wrote. And wrote. On September 2, 2022 he’s releasing Leap!, his third album of songs written during the pandemic. “These are not songs about the pandemic, they are songs because of the pandemic,” the multiple-Grammynominated McCutcheon mused.

The 18-song collection covers lots of ground. He takes you to backroad

Appalachian to Belfast, from a front-porch salesman to an immigrant’s first day of work waiting outside a steel mill, from a 9-yearold at recess to a chance meeting in a New York subway. McCutcheon’s legendary storytelling illuminates moments great and small, elevating the ordinary to the extraordinary, all delivered with his warm baritone and his long-time bandmates, fleshing each tale out perfectly.

Fiddle ace Stuart Duncan is omnipresent as a lyrical and emotive element on nearly every song. Keyboardist Jon Carroll, long the centerpiece of McCutcheon’s recordings is reliably brilliant, while bassist JT Brown adds the perfect foundational anchor.

Guest artists include drummer Robert “Jos” Jospé and guitarist Pete Kennedy, longtime McCutcheon collaborators, Irish flutist Seamus Egan, and singers Kathy Mattea, Tim O’Brien, and Tommy Sands.

“The Ride” starts the trip, a usually-timid kid taking a brave leap at the local quarry, recalling his grandad telling him, “If you ain’t livin’, then you’re dyin’!” “The Troubles “see the decades-long conflict in Ireland reflected in today’s polarized times. “Second Hand” honors the passing of Greece’s oldest Holocaust survivor, who

spent her life recounting her experiences to school children.

There are lighter moments as well. “Listen” opines that “They say that love is blind, love is deaf, as well!”, while “Song When You Are Dead” is a laugh-out-loud take on a commissioned eulogy.

Leap! follows on the heels of Cabin Fever: Songs from the Quarantine (2020) and Bucket List (2021) and brings to 54 the new songs written and released since the 2020 lockdown. “And that’s

less than half of what’s been composed, not counting at least that many from my weekly Zoom sessions with Tom Paxton and others!” said McCutcheon.

With this, his 43rd release in his 50-year career, John McCutcheon proves again that his is one of the most creative, prolific, reliable, and satisfying of American folk music’s stalwarts. Leap! puts a big exclamation point on his already impressive legacy.

TRI-CITIES NIGHTLIFE

WEDNESDAY

Karaoke with Absolute Entertainment at The Pub Out Back (The Italian Pizza Pub) - Johnson City 7pm

Karaoke w/ Eric Huskins VFW Post 2108 – Johnson City, TN 8pm

Karaoke Night at Wonderland Lounge and Bar - Johnson City, TN 9pm

Karaoke with Ron at Kingsport Moose Lodge 6:30pm

Loudmouth Karaoke at Michael Waltrip Brewing Company - Bristol, VA on Wednesday, April 5th at 7pm

THURSDAY

Karaoke w/ Absolute Entertainment at Tulips Grub & Pub - Johnson City, TN 8pm

Sing Your Heart Out Karaoke at Wild Wings Cafe - Johnson City, TN 9pm

Karaoke at Numan’s - Johnson City, TN 10pm

Karaoke at Jiggy Rays Pizzeria - Johnson City, TN

Karaoke at Tipsy Toad Tavern - Jonesborough, TN

FRIDAY

Karaoke with Absolute Entertainment at Rainbow Asian Cuisine - Johnson City, TN 9pm

Karaoke with Absolute Entertainment at The Sports Mill - Kingsport, TN 8pm

Karaoke w/ Eric Huskins VFW Post 2108 – Johnson City, TN 8pm

Karaoke at Numan’s – Johnson City, TN 10pm

Karaoke with Handsome Hodge Entertainment at O’Mainnin’s Pub and Grille - Bristol, TN 10pm

SATURDAY

Karaoke with Absolute Entertainment at Tulips Grub & Pub Johnson City, TN 8pm

Karaoke at Numan’s – Johnson City, TN 10pm

Karaoke w/ Eric Huskins VFW Post 2108 – Johnson City, TN 8pm

Karaoke at Numan’s – Johnson City, TN 10pm

Karaoke with DJ Clyde and Prestige Entertainment at Macado’s -Kingsport, TN 9pm

Karaoke with Handsome Hodge Entertainment at O’Mainnin’s Pub and Grille - Bristol, TN 10pm

TRIVIA BINGO DJ NIGHT

TUESDAY

Team Trivia at Wild Wing Café Johnson City TN

DJ Trivia at Union Street Taproom Erwin, TN 5pm

Trivia at The Corner Bar Bristol, VA 8pm

WEDNESDAY Trivia at Tipsy Toad

Jonesborough, TN 7pm

Trivia Night Mellow Mushroom Bristol, VA 7pm

THURSDAY

Mellow Trivia at Mellow Mushroom Johnson City, TN- 7pm

Trivia at Riverside Taphouse at South Fork Bluff City, TN 7:00pm

TUESDAY Singo at Riverside Taphouse at South Fork Bluff City, TN 6:30pm

WEDNESDAY Bingo at Tipton Street Pub Johnson City, TN 9pm

Singo at Holy Taco & Cantina Boones Creek, TN 8pm Blazin’ Bingo at Mellow Mushroom Johnson City, TN 6pm

THURSDAY Bingo at Mellow Mushroom Bristol VA 6pm

THURSDAY DJ B-Digital at O’Mainnin’s Pub and GrilleBristol, TN 10pm

FRIDAY Handsome Hodge Entertainment at O’Mainnin’s Pub - Bristol, TN 10pm

SATURDAY Handsome Hodge Entertainment at O’Mainnin’s Pub - Bristol, TN 10pm

SUNDAY DJ B-Digital at O’Mainnin’s Pub and GrilleBristol, TN 10pm

SODOKU CROSSWORD

Down

1. Seek's partner

2. Chief Theban deity

3. ___ time (immediately)

4. "You fell for it!"

5. Vietnamese specialty

6. Well-ventilated

7. Her, in Hamburg

8. Isle ___ National Park

9. Kenneth ____ (actor)

10. Symbol of strength

11. 106, to Trajan

12. 100-yr. period

13. Gerund's ending

18. Egg beater

22. Actor Moore, to friends (maybe)

24. Tbsp., et al.

26. Part of Edison's sig.

27. Squat, with "down"

28. Found, as a foundation

29. Keep for later

DROP QUOTE

ACROSS

1. Reagan's Secretary of State Alexander

5. Twosome

9. Italian bowling

14. "____ expert, but..."

15. "____! Cherry-O" (kids' board game)

16. Baltimore player

17. "Relax!"

19. Fit for ___

20. Methuselah's father

21. Ache

23. Peg game

25. Considers contemptible

30. Spring event

CRYPTOGRAM

ZCSAS BAS ZRT RTANVI RS NJMS JF: B

PBZSAJBN RTANV, ETQFV ED ZCS

NBRI TW LCDIJHI, BFV ZCS RTANV JFIJVS TQA

PJFV, RCJHC JI OQIZ BI JPLTAZBFZ.

33. Fla. city

35. "South Park" boy

36. 1953 John Wayne oater

37. Autumn mos.

39. One-person boat

Alan Moore

42. Toffee-based candy bar

43. Bread grain

45. Our group in Paris

47. Flock female

48. 1958 Paul Newman film

52. Like a drunkard

53. ___ for elephant

54. To the letter

57. Not too brainy

61. Region around Beersheba

65. Educationally apt

67. ____ fatale

68. Letters on Sputnik

69. Nada, to Nanette

70. Schoolroom group

71. "For ____ jolly good fellow... "

72. Some email attachments, for short

Answers to last week’s puzzles can be found on page 09.

30. Degree

31. Fraternal order member

32. Horse controls

33. Cheeks

34. It might prompt a "Gesundheit!"

38. Says, auf Deutsch

40. Crazy, in Paris

41. Show anger

44. Robbers

46. Adam or Will

49. Air platform?

50. Old-fashioned roofing

51. F, in other words

55. Singer Peniston

56. Some X's, in a game

58. Footnote wd.

59. Symbol on a staff

60. Kesey and Griffey

61. Saints' org.

62. Conger

63. Early morning show, briefly

64. Bad ___, Germany

66. Reviewer of books

OF THE WEEK PETS

may the 4th be with you

This beauty is 2 yr old Mila with blue eyes. She came in as an unsocialized older kitten and has come a long way since. Mila is still a little shy, but will seek attention

Mila Ryder

and with a quiet environment, she will adjust just fine. She is good with other cats, spayed, current on vaccinations and will be microchipped when adopted.

There are 5 R2D2s hidden in this issue of The Loafer. Can you find them all?

Last Week's Puzzle Answers

Sudoku Crossword

Meet Ryder!!! He is a handsome 7 year old Lab/Shepherd mix. Really, he is just an older gentleman who enjoys the simpler things in life, like napping in the sun and begging for treats. Ryder is not very high energy but gets excited for walks and the occasional zoomies

during play. He is dog selective and does not like cats. Ryder is on a poultry free diet due to skin allergies. He would prefer a home with adults or older children and a fenced in yard. Ryder is house trained, neutered, current on vaccinations and microchipped.

If you are interested in adopting : The Bridge Home No Kill Animal Shelter

423-239-5237 • 2061 Highway 75 Blountville, TN

Facebook: bridgehome

bridgehome.org

Cryptogram:

"It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too."

Dropquote:

"It is possible to fly without motors, but not without knowledge and skill."

3107 W. Market Street Suite 1 Johnson City, TN (423) 328-7991 • Criminal Defense • Juvenile/Family

JOHNSON CITY

SATURDAYS

ACOA (adult children of alcoholics) 1:30-3:00pm. Call for info Bill 423-444-6107 or Cheryl 423-262-6149

FRIDAY MAY 5TH

Johnson City Love & Hiking

Date For Couples (Self-Guided)

7:00am at Willow Springs Park

Springtime in Haynesville: Civil War Reenactment 4:00pm at Tipton-Haynes Historic Site

Travis Goyette: Artist Closing Reception 5:00pm at Sparks Plaza

Weekly YuGiOh Duel Night

6:00pm at CardFox

SATURDAY MAY 6TH

Johnson City Love & Hiking

Date For Couples (Self-Guided)

7:00am at Willow Springs Park

Johnson City Farmers Market

8:00am at Founders Park

Art Struck Festival

10:00am at Founders Park

Magic Show with Erik Dobell

6:00pm & 8:30pm at Tiebreakers

Knox by Night Musical Comedy

Trio 8:00pm at Wallace Theater

SUNDAY MAY 7TH

Johnson City Love & Hiking Date

For Couples (Self-Guided)

7:00am at Willow Springs Park

THINGS TO DO THINGS TO DO

BRISTOL

WEDNESDAY MAY 3RD

Comedy Open Mic 7:30pm at Blue Ridge Comedy Club

THURSDAY MAY 4TH

“May the 4th Be w/You”

Canvas Class 6:00pm at Kil'n Time Studio

FRIDAY MAY 5TH

Kate Willett 8:00pm at Blue Ridge Comedy Club

SATURDAY MAY 5TH

7th Annual Tri-Cities Best Spring Vendor Fling

10:00amat Delta Hotel

Museum Story Time: My GreatAunt Arizona 10:30 Birthplace of Country Music Museum State Street’s Summerween

11:00am at The Sessions Hotel

Board Game Night 5:00pm at Bristol Public Library

Kate Willett 8:00pm at Blue Ridge Comedy Club

KINGSPORT

THURSDAY MAY 4TH

May the 4th Be With You

4:00pm at High Voltage KPT

FRIDAY MAY 5TH

Cinco De Mayo Yoga Hike

11:00am at Bays Mountain Park

Eliza Slater: Artist Talk and Art Reveal! 6:00pm at The Inventor Center

SATURDAY MAY 6TH

Farmers Market 8:00am at Kingsport Farmer's Market

Nature: Wolf Howling

10:00am at Bays Mountain Park & Planetarium

JONESBOROUGH

TUESDAYS

Jonesborough Storytelling Guild

“Stories n’More” Show 7:00pm at The Intl. Storytelling Center

WEDNESDAY MAY 3RD

IBN Biz Lunch 11:30 at the Black Olive

THURSDAY MAY 4TH

Jonesborough: Star Wars Day 4:00pm at Jonesborough Repertory Theatre

SATURDAY MAY 6TH

Historic Jonesborough

Town Tour 1:00pm at Chester Inn State Historic Site

ABINGDON, VA

WEDNESDAY MAY 3RD

Bingo 5:00pm at Abingdon Community Center

FRIDAY MAY 6TH

Movies for Adults 2:00pm at Washington County Public Library

SUNDAY MAY 7TH

Bingo 5:00pm at Abingdon Community Center

ELIZABETHTON, TN

FRIDAY MAY 7TH

Blue Ridge Artisan DaysCrafters to the Rescue! 10am at Elizabethton Parks & Rec

SATURDAY MAY 6TH

Combined Art Opening

4:00pm at August Muse

SUNDAY MAY 7TH

Watauga Valley Art League Meeting 1:30 at Sycamore Shoals State Historic Park

Biker Events

sponsored by biker wear

Local Events:

1. Biblical Citizenship May 1st 6:30pm Calvary Chapel

2. Meet & Greet Red Rum MC 5/6/23

158 New Beason Well Rd. Kingsport, TN 8pm

2. State Street Tattoo Fest

May 19th to 21st State Street Bristol

3. Chapel Hart & 8 Second Ride

May 28th East TN Distillery

4. Bug Tussle June 2nd to June 4th Elizabethton, TN

5. Thunder Valley Nationals June 9th to 11th

6. WNCJeep Fest June 9th to 11th Maggie Valley

Bike Night:

1. Wednesday – 19E Pit Stop

2. Wednesday – Jonesboro VFW – Dog Tags

3. Thursday - Quaker Steak & Lube

4. Friday - Tulips

Rides:

1. TN18-8 Poker Run May 6th Black Wolf 9:30am

2. Ride To Fight Suicide May 27th 9am Black Wolf

Rallies:

1. Thunder Beach Bike Rally May 3rd – 7th

2. Thunder In The Smokies May 5th to 7th

3. Boozy Creek Rally May 12th to 14th

4. Myrtle Beach Spring Rally May 12th to 21st

5. True Son MC 37th Bike Rally June 2nd to June 4th

6. Boone Bike Rally June 2nd to June 4th

7. 9th Annual Snake Pit Bike Rally in Shady Valley, TN June 9th to June 11th

Beanz Biker Corner Beanz Biker Corner

Hello everyone, its riding season for those of us who ride. Due to the fact I have already lost a friend and have had other friends hurt in motorcycle crashes this year. It’s time to remind everybody who rides and those who are in vehicles that safety is very important. When you mow your yard DO NOT MOW THE GRASS IN THE ROAD! Grass is the road is like ice to someone on two wheels. If you do blow grass in the road and a motorcycle wrecks because of it, you will be held liable for the bike and the folks on the bike. Just because folks ride motorcycles does not mean we are bad people. We just like the feel of the open road.

Riding motorcycles on public roads carries several times the risk of riding in cars, which themselves are riskier than public conveyances like buses and trains. The human factors of motorcycle crashes are roughly equal between rider behavior and the actions of drivers sharing the roads. So

don’t be rude and mean when you see a bike rolling past you.

Motorcycle Safety Tips: 1. Never ride without a motorcycle license.

2. Always wear an adequate helmet. 3. Check your bike before you ride. 4. Sit down and hold tight. 5. Obey traffic laws and be aware of other vehicles. 6. Watch for damaged roads and obstacles.

7. Get a bike with an anti-lock brake system. 8. Adjust for inclement weather conditions. 9. Dress for protection and visibility. Safety Tips for Cars When you see or hear a Motorcycle: Remember, motorcycles offer very little protection to drivers and passenger, meaning accidents can be extremely dangerous. Decrease your chances of being involved in a motorcycle accident and keep these tips in mind next time you’re on the road. 1. Look before turning. The majority of car-versus-motorcycle accidents occur in intersections when a car turns in front of a biker. When you’re getting ready to make a turn through an intersection it is important to always look twice. The first look should be for other vehicles, and then take a second look specifically for motorcycles.

Beanz Biker Corner

By Anne Hartley

423-297-5675

2. Check blind spots. Often, motorcycles can go unseen on the roadway. Since motorcycles are much smaller than the typical vehicle, they can “get lost” on the road. It is imperative for drivers to check their blind spots, especially before making a turn or passing another vehicle. 3. Increase driving distance. There are several obstacles on the roadway for every driver, but especially motorcyclists. Motorcycles don’t have the luxury of riding over potholes or other debris in the road with little damage. Increase your driving distance behind a motorcycle in case they have to

avoid an obstacle on the road, or they hit something that was unavoidable. 4. Be conscious of the weather. Mother nature is known for causing problems on the roadway, enhancing the chances of accidents.

Useless Facts:

Inclement weather is extremely dangerous for bikers, making it necessary for drivers to use extra caution when driving in difficult weather.

DRESS FOR THE SLIDE NOT THE RIDE

1. Rainbows were called “bows of promise” in Victorian English.

2. The lint in the bottom of your pocket has a name, gnarr.

3. Hershey’s makes one million miles of Twizzlers every year.

4. Honey is the only food that does not spoil.

5. Americans eat an estimated 13 billion hamburgers each year.

Sycamore Shoals State Historic Park May 2023- Programs and Tours

Come Share in the Glorious Cause of Liberty!

Sabine Hill Guided Tour

Friday, May 26 1:00 pm

Adults - $9.00; Ages 7 to 17 years$5.00; 6 and under free

Tax included

Max: 12

Registration required - www. tnstateparks.com/parks/events/ sycamore-shoals

Join Park Ranger Cory Franklin for a guided tour of this stately home built by Mary Patton Taylor, widow of Brigadier General Nathaniel Taylor. The site has been described as one of the finest examples of Federal architecture in the State of Tennessee. During your tour you will have the opportunity to take

in the colorful and architecturally detailed interior while learning about the influential Taylor family who called Sabine Hill home in the early 19th century. Sabine Hill is located at 2328 West G Street, Elizabethton, TN.

Please note, only portable toilet facilities are available at this time. Accessibility to the home includes steps and an interior staircase. Tour may be subject to cancelation in the event of severely inclement weather.

Bird Walk with the Lee & Lois Herndon TOS Chapter

Saturday, May 6 8:00 am

Meet other birders and naturalists at Sycamore Shoals for a morning of birding during the migratory season.

Fellowship English Country Dancing

Saturday, 6 1:30 pm – 4:00 pm

Beginners and seasoned dancers alike are all welcome! The afternoon will include the opportunity to learn dances from different worldwide cultures. No cost to attend. Open to anyone, with or without experience or a partner. Meet in the Visitor Center. Sponsored by the Sabine Hill Social Society.

Watauga Valley Art League Meeting

Sunday, May 7 1:30 pm

All are welcome to join our area artists for their monthly meeting, highlighted by an art related presentation.

Siege at Fort Watuaga

Saturday & Sunday, May 20 & 21 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

It is the summer of 1776 and the Watauga settlement is at war. Join us as 200 colonial and Native reenactors present this dramatic retelling of the Cherokee attack brought on the settlers of the Watauga valley. Visit the living history camps, shop with period vendors, and witness battle reenactments both days. Hear the rattle of muskets, smell the campfire smoke, and see history come to life at the Siege of Fort Watauga. Contact the park for detailed schedule.

Spring Knap-In at Fort Watauga

Saturday, May 27 10:00 am – 4:00 pm

Knapping – with a “K”– has nothing

to do with sleep! Knapping is the art of making stone tools, and the KnapIn at Fort Watauga is our celebration of Tennessee Archaeology Week. Watch primitive skills craftsmen make arrowheads, spear points and other survival tools. There will be demonstrations of primitive tools such as a bow, arrow, and atlatl throughout the day.

Old Time Music Jam

Led by Art Lang

Sunday, May 28 1:30 pm – 4:00 pm

Enjoy the rich musical traditions of our region each month. Old time musicians of all levels are welcome. Don’t play an instrument? Come on over, kick back, and enjoy the tunes!

“Never Forget”

Memorial Day Concert

Monday, May 29

6:00 pm

Free Admission

Join us on Memorial Day as The Johnson City Community Concert Band, under the direction of Dr. Christian Zembower, presents “Never Forget” a special concert to remember and honor those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom. In addition to the concert a special ceremony will recognize those, from the American War of Independence to the present day, who have fallen in the service of our country.

Presented in the Fort Watauga Amphitheater.

A Few Things To Remember When You Start Your Business

When you open a new business there are a lot of ways to spread the word. Social media is the easiest, cheapest, and fastest way to grow. A few minor details can help your social media accounts shine a light on your business.

A complete profile allows potential customers to find out what they need to know about your business. Can they shop through your online store at 5:00 am? What time does your physical location open? How can customers contact you if they have a question or concern? All of those questions can be answered through your profile and will let your customers know you are focused on service.

Double check your usernames to make sure they are spelled appropriately, are relevant to your business, and consistent. Usernames can be changed, however updating your information after spreading the word will be rough. Clarity in your branding in the early stages will save you time and embarrassment.

Your profile photo shows the world who you are. What image are you projecting? Does it portray the essence of your brand? Your profile photo can make or break your brand and should be chosen with caution. Your community wants to see you succeed and grow. Becoming an active part of your community will create partnerships that can expand

your customer base. Seek out your local businesses and organizations and follow their pages. Sharing their content forms a bond and shows your followers that you are driven by a love of community, not money.

Keeping up to date in your industry helps you stay relevant. Follow pages that are in line with your industry and share relevant content on your pages. Allow your followers to educate themselves on your industry alongside you. Learning together helps you grow together.

Social media is the best way to grow a new business. Taking the time to craft a robust profile will help you connect with the community you serve.

Social Sentiments

By Wendy Hayden socialsentiments @outlook.com

Contra Dance Returns to Jonesborough

Submitted by Joan Ackerman, Secretary HJDS

Historic Jonesborough Dance Society will be returning the Jonesborough Visitor Center, 117 Boone St. on May 13th. Dancing to live music is open to community members of all ages. Dances will be held the 2nd and 4th Saturday of each month. There will be a lesson of basic contra dance moves for beginners at 7pm with dancing from 7:30pm to 10:30pm. Tickets are $12 for singles, $8 for students, and $25 for families.

Contra dancing originated in the 17th century in England and Scotland and has become

a joyful Appalachian tradition. The dance is led by a caller who teaches the sequence of figures in the dance before the music starts and then calls out the moves during each dance. There is no required footwork. No partner is needed as it is tradition to change partners for each dance. It is a great opportunity to meet people and make new friends.

Contra dances are family friendly, alcohol, tobacco, and fragrance free. Follow us for dates and announcements on Facebook (Historic Jonesborough Dance Society) and Instagram (jonesboroughcontradance).

Contra dance is energetic and lively folk dance for all ages. It is similar to square dance, but it’s done in long lines rather than four-couple squares.

An Afternoon on Elk Avenue

by Kathie Scalf

Sometimes it’s fun to play tourist in your own backyard, which is precisely what I did on a recent visit with Mom and Dad in Elizabethton.

Looking to stretch my legs after a long drive up from Nashville and try to wear down the dog who has been cooped up with Grandma Gail for several weeks while I’ve been traveling, I decided to park the car at the Covered Bridge and take a stroll down Elizabethton’s answer to Main Street, aka Elk Avenue.

I was struck by the quiet quaintness of my hometown, especially in comparison to the party buses full of screaming bachelorettes and miles of bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic to which I’ve become accustomed in Nashville. Walking along the familiar brick columns of downtown Elizabethton feels like taking a step back in time; quite frankly because not a whole lot has changed since I was a kid. While they’ve made some additions to the Covered Bridge Park with the building of the stage and there are some great new shops occupying the familiar storefronts, the downtown staples have remained for as long as I can recall.

As we began our journey winding around the river, I was able to fully appreciate the peace of the rushing water beneath the swaying branches of the willow trees. Being smack in the middle of April and having received tons of recent rainfall, the grass and leaves were lush with fresh greenery and the flowers were blooming. There’s just something about the rebirth of spring that can breathe life into even the oldest and most familiar settings. Crossing under the driving bridge, I was delighted to see one of my favorite waterfowl searching for a midday snack. A large blue heron was

standing not far off the riverbank, his long legs standing steady among the current while he waited for a tasty lunch to swim past. Pretty quickly he was joined by some ducks and pesky swallows who kept diving close to the water, so he gave up and flew to a more isolated spot a bit further downstream, but I was able to spend at least 15 minutes just observing this beautiful bird of pterodactyl proportions up close and personal. We made the obligatory loop across the covered bridge, then headed toward the business end of Elk Avenue. Riverside Taphouse has to be one of my favorite recent additions to downtown. They were just opening when I moved away 4 years ago, but in that time they’ve built on an expansive patio and kept a regular rotation of cold beers for thirsty customers. Not far up the street, Jiggy Ray’s is still rockin’ and rollin’ with live music and hot pies. I may enjoy my fair share of fine dining, but in my opinion there will never be a more perfect pairing than greasy pizza, frosty beers and good tunes. But we really can’t talk about downtown Elizabethton dining without mentioning the OGs- Dino’s and The Southern. Italian meets Appalachian, but both restaurants are both serving up home cooking and full stomachs daily. These restaurants have seemingly been here since time immemorial, greeting every arriving car at the first business block. If you’re in the mood for something a bit more exotic with some kick, Red Chili is a win every time. My go-to dish is the Bi Bim Bap with chicken and as spicy as the owner will make it. Just make sure you have plenty of time to eat; this dish comes out still cooking in a piping hot stone bowl, so it’s a true test of patience to give it time to cool and not scald your mouth. (Spoiler alert: I’ve never not burned my mouth.) Finally, if you’re up in time for breakfast, there’s nowhere better to enjoy a

hot cup of coffee than The Coffee Company. This restaurant has been serving up an excellent selection of rotating seasonal breakfast and lunch offerings for decades and it’s still my favorite quiet spot to crack open my computer and crank out emails when I’m on a work trip in Tri-Cities. Beyond getting your belly full, you can also feed your mind in Downtown Elizabethton. I moseyed into Bookworm Booksellers for the first time this week and was delighted to see books from floor to ceiling, filling this establishment with practically any printed work you could imagine. And for so cheap! There is still nothing more satisfying to me than the smell of ink covered pages and no amount of technology can ever replace the feeling of turning the pages on a good book. I highly encourage you to explore this store before adding another novel to your Amazon cart; chances are, he’s got it on-hand and for far less. Not to mention you’ll be supporting a local small business and not a billionaire stranger. And if you’re still hungry for more knowledge, go around the block to the big beautiful Elizabethton Library. This was my favorite place to go when I was a kid. I could spend hours in there reading Stephen King, Sweet Valley and Fear Street novels. It’s just a stunning Greek revival structure that is peaceful, smells like books and has a full room in the back dedicated to local history; basically my version of Heaven.

Finally, you can’t come to downtown Elizabethton and not go antiquing. You could literally spend the majority of your day browsing the shelves full of vintage knick-knacks at Duck Crossing and Picket Fence and never see it all. I always find something to take home, whether I need it or not. Being surrounded by all these relics of the past, it feels like they’re still holding so much energy, hiding secrets or a story to tell. I like to touch these things and imagine where they

sat in someone else’s home so many years ago, when life and the world was much simpler. In a society that’s going increasingly digital, I think its wonderful to have these tangible memories of the past to take home and cherish just as they were so loved by the people before us. It just seems like good karma, and lord knows I could always use more of that.

There are so many more retail shops and eateries I don’t have space to cover here, many of which have popped up in the years since I’ve been gone. It was nice to see this place with the fresh eyes of essentially a stranger. Elizabethton is a sweet little town with good people; these streets lined with dogwoods and churches and a rickety old wooden bridge tie together folks who genuinely care about their families and community and I’m proud to say I was raised in them. So whether you’re a tourist, a lifer or somewhere in between like me, go down and see what’s new on Elk Avenue. I promise you won’t leave empty handed or hungry!

XO - Kathie

The One Piece of Symphonic Music Every Child Should Hear

Sergei Prokofiev’s timeless “Peter and the Wolf” has delighted young listeners for generations, offering an introduction to instruments of the orchestra. The symphonic folk tale weaves the story of a young boy’s adventures in nature with each character seamlessly portrayed by different instruments. The audience will hear youthful Peter in the sound of the strings, his grandfather in the bassoon, the wolf’s approach in the sound of horns, the bird’s song in the trill of flute, and more, as each character comes vibrantly alive in music.

Symphony of the Mountains

performs “Peter and the Wolf” on Monday, May 8th at 7 p.m. in the Union High School Auditorium in Big Stone Gap. This family-friendly performance is free, open to all, and guaranteed to charm listeners of all ages. For more information and reservations, please visit proartva.org.

Former Barter Theatre actor Rick McVey will join the Symphony of the Mountains orchestra to narrate the imaginative story. In his time as a full-time member of the Resident Acting Company at Barter Theatre, America’s longest-running professional theater, McVey appeared in

more than 100 productions on Barter’s stages. McVey has also narrated over a dozen audiobooks, both fiction and non-fiction.

Symphony of the Mountains’ commitment to service encompasses the entire region, without regard for state or county boundaries. The orchestra consists of more than 70 professional musicians conducted by Swiss-born Cornelia Laemmli Orth who has been with the Symphony of the Mountains for 16 years. For more information about the symphony and to see a list of upcoming performances, please visit symphonyofthemountains.org.

Pro-Art partners with a variety of venues, therefore individuals with mobility issues or general questions

are encouraged to call (276) 376-4520 or email the Pro-Art office at pro-art@ uvawise.edu. For evolving conditions related to weather cancellations, or similar unforeseen circumstances, patrons are encouraged to check proartva.org for up-todate information.

This performance is made possible in part by a grant from the Virginia Commission for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts. ProArt is additionally supported by the Slemp Foundation, The University of Virginia’s College at Wise, Mountain Empire Community College, and the Columbus Phipps Foundation.

Murder Mystery 2

When the movie "Murder Mystery" was released in 2019, I was not sure what to make of the effort which teamed Jennider Aniston with Adam Sandler. I have always liked Jennifer, but Adam is another story for me. I can take him in small doses, and in movies where his voice doesn't sound like nails on a chalkboard. Nevertheless, after viewing "Murder Mystery" I was pleasantly surprised as the actors had great screen chemistry and Adam was less than annoying, and his character was actually likeable. The filmed proved a success, so Netflix has released "Muder Mystery 2" reuniting Jennifer and Adam, and I was actually looking forward to the sequel. The film is set four years after the original film and Nick and Audrey Spitz (Adam and Jennefier) have quit their jobs and started their own detective agency despite Nick refusing to do what it takes to get his detective license. The two are often bickering about their new line of work and decide to take a break from their poorly received detective work and attend the

Pop Life

By Ken Silvers theloaferonlineprint @gmail.com

wedding of their friend Vikram 'The Maharajah' Govindan (Adeel Akhtar), who will be married on his private island. When they arrive at the beautiful island, the Spitzes meet the French bride to be Claudette (Melanie Laurent), and are amazed at the opulent quarters where they will be staying. The couple are reunited with an old friend on the island, and during the night of the wedding party meet several new people including former soccer player Francisco Perez (Enrique Arce), Vikram's sister Saria (Kuhoo Verman) and snobbish Countess Sekou (Jodie Turner-Smith) and her snarky sidekick Imani (Zurni Villanueva). As the party proceeds, an elephant enters the room supposedly carrying Vikram, but it is discovered he has been kidnapped and is being held for ransom. Immediately after the discovery, Nick and Audrey get into detective mode, and plan to solve the mystery until some high-class detectives, led by former MI6 operator Connor Miller (Mark Strong) arrive at the island the next morning Navy Seal style. Miller wants the married duo to have no part in the hostage negotiation, but the kidnappers refuse to talk to anyone but Nick, who they nearly killed the night of the party. The kidnappers reveal to Nick their demand for $70 million dollars for the release of Vikram, and they must deliver the money to them at the Arc de Triomphe in Paris. Soon all are headed to France, and this is where the film really kicks into high gear. From this point forward there is plenty of over-the-top action, betrayals, and more witty banter between Nick and Audrey. There

are plenty of moments I didn't expect, and that only adds to the fun of the film. The film's climax is in the Eiffel Tower, and the scrimishes here are exciting and often heart pounding. The ending sets in motion for what I hope is a third film as I have come to really enjoy the adventures of Nick and Audrey. All the actors are great, with Jennifer leading the way with

their great comedy chops, and Strong proves to be as effective a villain as he was in the "Shazam" film. "Murder Mystery 2" is a fun action/mystery/comedy romp ready made for a movie night, and proves to be equal or better than the original. Now playing on Netflix. (Rated PG-13)

Bristol

PARAMOUNT

May 11 Steep Canyon Rangers

May 19 A Brothers RevivalTribute to The Allman Brothers

May 20 Paramount Chamber Players

May 21 Mac Powell

Jun 3 Sara Evans

Jun 13 Marcy Playground

Jun 15 Dave Mason

Jun 17 Nightrain-Tribute to Guns n Roses

Jun 24 Bored Teachers Comedy Tour

Jul 2 Ozark Mtn Daredevils

Jul 13 Farm and Fun Time featuring Rodney Crowell

Jul 22 Head Games-Tribute to Foreigner

Jul 29 Journeyman:

Tribute to Eric Clapton

Aug 12 Yellow Brick Road-

Tribute to Elton John

Sep 16 EW&F-Tribute to Earth, Wind and Fire

Oct 14 Lady Supreme-

Tribute to Diana Ross

Nov 11 Chi-Town Transit AuthorityTribute to Chicago

Dec 16 Soultown to MotownTribute to Motown

CAMEO THEATER

May 10 An Evening with Roger McGuinn

May 12 The Jerry Douglas Band

May 19 Jason Petty “Hank and my Honky Tonk Heroes”

May 20 Donnie Baker and Friends Howlin Wolf Moonshine Comedy Show

Jun 17 Vixen

Jun 24 Robert Randolph

Jul 9 Glam Slam Metal Tour with Enuff Znuff, The Quireboys and Bad Marriage

Jul 16 Stryper

Jul 17 Tommy Emmanuel

Aug 17 Foghat

JOHNSON CITY

FREEDOM HALL

Jun 2 Mr. Speed- Kiss Tribute

Nov 1 Foreigner

MARTIN CENTER FOR THE ARTS

May 20 The Black Jacket Symphony: Tom Petty’s Full Moon Fever

CONCERT SCHEDULE CONCERT SCHEDULE

KINGSPORT

FUN FEST SUNSET CONCERT SERIES

Jul 20 Danny Gokey with Ellie Holcomb

Jul 21 Boys II Men with JohnnySwim

Jul 22 Clay Walker with Brittney Spencer

RED, WHITE AND BOOM

Jul 1 Cheap Trick

GREENVILLE

NISWONGER PERFORMING ARTS CENTER

May 5 Wild World of Animals Free Community Concert Series

May 13 Marty Stuart & His Fabulous Superlatives

May 20 Get The Led OutLed Zeppelin Tribute

May 24 The Beach Boys

Jul 14 Dugger Band

Knoxville

TENNESSEE THEATRE

Apr 26 Ben Folds and a Piano

Apr 27 Wilco

Apr 28 Amy Grant

May 2 Gary Clark Jr.

May 10 The Flaming Lips

May 12 Keb Mo

May 13 Alice Cooper

May 20 Chelsea Handler

May 21 The Wood Brothers with Shovels & Rope

Jul 25 ZZ Top

Aug 15 Lyle Lovett and His Large Band

Aug 18 Kansas

THOMPSON BOWLING ARENA

May 16 Stevie Nicks

May 23 Breaking Benjamin /Bush and Another Day Dawns

Jun 23 Hank Williams Jr.

Jul 15 Thomas Rhett

Jul 29 The Chicks

Sept 12 Guns n Roses

Oct 6 Elevation Worship & Steven Furtick

Oct 16 Shania Twain

Nov 24 Kiss: End of the Road Tour

Dec 8 Lauren Daigle

KNOXVILLE CIVIC COLISEUM

Aug 24 Billy Strings

Sep 14 Parker McCollum

BIJOU THEATRE

May 18 Spyro Gyra

Aug 11 /12 The Steeldrivers

Aug 23 Devon Allman & Donavon Frankenreiter

Oct 7 Henry Cho

Nashville

RYMAN AUDITORIUM

May 8-10 John Mellencamp

May 12 Gov’t Mule

May 15 Tom Jones

May 19 Crowded House

May 24 Rick Springfield

Jun 2 Boz Scaggs

Jun 3/4 Tanya Tucker

Jun 11/12 Indigo Girls

Jun 15 LeAnn Morgan

Jun 17/18 Styx

Jun 18 Jackson Browne (Opry)

Jun 24 Tori Amos

Jul 6 Sam Bush

Jul 13 Rhonda Vincent

Jul 27 Ricky Skaggs

Jul 28 America

Jul 30 Melissa Etheridge

Aug 7 Sara Evans

Aug 19 Kansas

ASCEND AMPHITHEATER

May 6 Whiskey Myers

May 11 Koe Wetzel

Jun 23 Walker Hayes

Jul 11 Foreigner and Loverboy

Jul 18 Louis Tomlinson

Jul 19 Yungblud

Aug 27 Ghost

Sep 12 /13 Artic Monkeys

BRIDGESTONE ARENA

May 4 Janet Jackson with Ludacris

Jun 13 Duran Duran

Jun 17 Bryan Adams and Joan Jett

Jun 19 Drake

Jul 1 Kid Rock

Jul 3 Matchbox Twenty and The Wallflowers (new date)

Jul 16 Blink 182

Jul 24 Greta Van Fleet

Jul 29 Sam Smith

Aug 1 Nickelback

Aug 12 Luke Bryan

Sep 12 Alice Cooper and Rob Zombie

Sept 20 Wu-Tang Clan

Sept 22 Avenged Sevenfold

Sept 29 Thomas Rhett

Oct 11 John Mayer

Oct 19 Depeche Mode

Oct 3 Kiss End of the Road

Oct 25 Queen & Adam Lambert

Dec 22 Madonna

NISSAN STADIUM

May 5-7 Taylor Swift

Jun 11 CMA Fest

Jun 15 Beyonce

Jul 22 Ed Sheeran

Jul 28-29 George Strait, Chris Stapleton & Little Big Town

BROOKLYN BOWL

May 20 The Steel Woods

GEODIS PARK

Aug 26 Guns n Roses

BROWN COUNTY MUSIC CENTER

Apr 29 Blues Traveler

Apr 30 Buddy Guy

May 17 Chicago

Jun 6 Kenny Wayne Shepherd Band

Jun 9 Rodney Carrington

Jun 11 KC and the Sunshine Band

Jun 19 Jackson Browne

Manchester

BONNAROO MUSIC AND ARTS FESTIVAL

Jun 15-18 Foo Fighters, Paramore, Nil Nas X, Sheryl Crow, Kendrick Lamar, Korn, The Revivalists, Pixies, Umphrey’s McGee and more!

Chattanooga

RIVERBEND FESTIVAL

Jun 2-4 Maureen Morris, Nathaniel

Rateliff & The Night Sweats, Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue, Coin, Goose, Big Boi, Blackberry Smoke, Les Claypool’s Fearless Flying Frog Brigade and more!

BRISTOL TN/VA

GREENVILLE TN

Friends, Romans, Countrymen. There was one thing, in particular, that was a fixture of my childhood I remember being everywhere. I think it was a trend as I’m 99% positive that I’ve not seen these items in a bathroom since the nineteen hundred and nineties. I’ve not even seen them out for sale anywhere since then either. My dear readers, what I want to talk to you about today was something that was in our late ‘80s/ early ‘90s childhoods “forbidden fruit.” The speed and precision at which my grandmother moved was impressive and shocking. Within seconds of my hand moving towards the siren song of the shell soap, Grandma was standing at the door. My hand was hovering mere millimeters above the soap, I hadn’t even made contact with the soap when she was there and saying “No! What are you doing? Those soaps are not for you! They’re decorative! Don’t use those!”

I was so confused. I knew this bathroom had decorative towels that were forbidden, but now soaps were on the list too? What was the point of this bathroom? Was it also purely decorative? If so, why was I

The Forbidden Soaps

in there using it? Within seconds of being admonished for even thinking about using the fancy soaps, I felt the splash on my hands of the familiar amber-colored liquid dial soap that was all over her home. “Use this, sweetie,” she said. As I rinsed my hands with the “correct soap,” my grandmother took a dry washcloth and dabbed at the soaps to make sure I hadn’t ruined their shape with my wet hands. Now, maybe I’m misremembering it, but I’m 90% certain I thought I heard her quietly mutter “precious” to herself as well. It still confounds me as an adult. What was the point of those decorative soaps? If they were not to be used, why did they have to be made of soap? Couldn’t wax or plastic work just as well?

Was it because they needed to be scented? I know you could have added sent to wax. Were the soaps supposed to be an heirloom item? Were these soaps something my grandmother would pass down to her daughter, then pass down to me? Were these going to be soaps that my family could be acknowledged and recognized by much in the way of a tartan plaid?

“Sir, the gentleman is Lord Ross from the house of Rose Flower Soaps.” This news would be followed by a stunned gasp as some dude in a tux and tails stands to straighten this coat while saying “Show him in, Jenkins!” But this isn’t a thing anymore, right? I don’t recall the last time I saw a bowl of fancy soaps in any bathroom, let alone one that was strictly

off-limits. What was the point of it all? Who started the idea? I need answers.

Maybe we should bring it back again, I imagine if we get the youths on the TikTok to adopt this as a trend we could see a revival of fancy, never to be spoken of soaps. We should have this happen. America, it’s time for a forbidden soap revival. But this time I want it to be curated to things of my elder millennial generation. “No little Bobby, the fancy basket full of Mario soaps is not to be used. We just admire them. Use this pump of the foaming liquid dial.” This is the future I want. See you next week.

By Andy Ross theloaferonlineprint @gmail.com