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ALL ABOARD THE LOVE BOAT BECOME A DATING EXPERT AND FIND YOUR SOUL MATE WITH JUDITH GOTTESMAN BY DEBORAH VIETOR
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udith Gottesman’s father, Rabbi Aaron Gottesman served as her inspiration. He performed many weddings she attended, providing much pre-marital and couples counseling. Her books “The Lost Art of Dating,” and “Your Soul Mate Awaits,” are a guide to the ever-confusing modern times of finding love. Gottesman assists clients in reframing their mindset, as many people inadvertently eliminate many great potential matches. As a dating coach and matchmaker, she describes how to navigate the world of online dating, how to meet people, find a date, write a profile, connect and find the right match. “The Lost Art of Dating” illustrates how to locate your potential match. Gottesman believes your match should be your best friend and lover, with the same values, interests and other qualities you share. Her advice includes where to locate a potential soul mate, dating etiquette, and even how to say goodbye if it doesn’t work out. If you are dating online, your first photo should be a really great headshot with good lighting. The second one would be a full body shot, as everyone deserves to know who they are meeting. Your profile should be positive and light, sharing your likes, interests, hobbies and nothing too personal. You may have just visited Hawaii, had a great time snorkeling and would love to find someone to share these activities. Describe how you are available, a caring and 22
L’CHAIM SAN DIEGO MAGAZINE • FEBRUARY 2022
enthusiastic person. Gottesman encourages as much face-to-face meeting as possible. Dating sites may work for some yet offer too many choices, encouraging “shopping” where people think they can find someone who checks all the points on their list. Keep your heart and mind open, go to meetups, volunteer, join a club or form one, or attend church or synagogue functions. You found a date, fantastic! Gottesman says on the first date to “Be Brief, Be Bold and Be Gone!” An hour at a local coffeehouse or going for a brief walk in a public place is a nice way to get acquainted. Keep the conversation light and positive. If the other person doesn’t feel like your perfect match, give them another chance. The more you have in common, the better. Do your interests match the other person’s? A focus including your exercise routine, diet, cultural interests, travel or religion might make a difference. Our check-boxes illustrate what we can measure and quantify. Gottesman cautions us not to make the list too long and to think outside the box. Your potential match may not share all of your hobbies and interests. There are 3 columns to complete according to Gottesman before jumping into the dating pool. The first is asking yourself if you are over your last relationship. Number two: We broke up, you or the
