4 minute read
Scoundrels of Any Class
regard for legal niceties . They work within the law if doing so is the easiest path, but they are not beholden to it . Neutral good scoundrels are often kind people who get by on their charm or help others through the use of extraordinary skill .
Examples: Zorro and Spider-Man .
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Neutral: Scoundrels of this alignment are opportunists . They are concerned with themselves above all others, taking whatever they can get, although not purposely trying to hurt anyone else . Tomb robbers, wheeler-dealer merchants, and other purely selfish scoundrels typify this alignment .
Examples: Lara Croft, Han Solo (at least in his early appearances), and Lucy Westerna from Dracula .
Neutral Evil: Scoundrels of this alignment are selfish, taking whatever they can from whomever they wish whenever they can get away with it . Exploiting the needs and fears of others, these scoundrels are remorseless liars and cheaters . Some realize that patience can yield a greater reward than immediate action, and thus might slowly milk a patron or community over a long period . Snake-oil hawkers, cheating gamblers, and cruel brigands represent a few scoundrels of this alignment .
Examples: Mystique from X-Men and Sawyer from the Lost television show .
Chaotic Good: Chaotic good scoundrels use their skills to help others regardless of the consequences . They act as their conscience dictates without concern for the laws, traditions, or beliefs of others . Such scoundrels are likely to make sacrifices in the hope of attaining some future good . Benevolent brigands, revolutionaries, and other noble rogues possess this alignment .
Examples: Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly, Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica, and Robin Hood .
Chaotic Neutral: Scoundrels of this alignment have no concept of possession, right, or wrong . They take and do what they want on the slightest whim . They are concerned with their own needs and freedoms over those of anyone else . Chaotic neutral scoundrels are often mercenaries, pirates, or smugglers .
Examples: Captain Jack Sparrow from the Pirates of the Caribbean films, Al Swearengen from the Deadwood television show, and Snake Plissken from Escape from New York .
Chaotic Evil: Scoundrels of this alignment take whatever they can, disregarding the needs of others . Unlikely to plan, they don’t think about future necessities or gains but take what’s immediately available . Because these scoundrels care for nothing, sometimes not even themselves, they risk everything for even the slightest gain . Such scoundrels might be incorrigible con artists, assassins, or cat burglars .
Examples: Carl Denham from the King Kong film and Riddick from Pitch Black .
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behInd The Throne
“My lord, this must be decided now!”
“You can’t seriously expect the people of the ancient and noble Duchy of Ird to agree to those terms.”
“You could always surrender your lands, then, if you feel yourself unfit to sway the opinions of your rabble.”
“Wh—what did you say? The people of Ird are of a fine and gallant stock. Had you but one grain of wit you’d know that the fathers of our first great king were Irdmen, and their fathers . . .”
The two governors bickered on and on, just as they had for nearly an hour. With each new surge of outrage their greasy jowls and round bellies flapped wildly. The king had stopped listening long ago, watching the rolls of quaking flab as though gazing into the ocean surf—but these waves brought only renewed contempt and revulsion. He raised his hand for silence, but the nobles argued on. A quiet clearing of the throat was similarly ignored.
“That’s enough!” His Majesty rumbled, his voice loud but not enough to echo in the long hall. That silenced them, though neither of them looked to their liege with respect. “I have heard your dispute. I now seek the counsel of silence. Both of you will wait here for my return.” Hefting his thick robes, the king rose and departed his throne room, entering the airy and booklined space of his personal meeting chamber.
His Majesty sat upon one of the overstuffed leather chairs surrounding the hall’s large, circular conference table. He doffed his crown and laid his forehead against the cool, polished wood. “I should have the whole lot of them axed,” he sighed.
“Then who would send you all those shiny bribes—er, gifts?” came a hissing voice.
The king didn’t even look up until he felt a buffet of air and heard the click of tiny claws upon the table. He rolled his head to behold a reptilian visage covered with deep purple scales, fixing him with a pair of cunning, slitted eyes. The cat-sized dragonling had stretched over his crown, propping its long neck over one bejeweled crest, a snakelike tongue flitting from its wide mouth.
“You know I don’t care about their baubles.” He sighed again. “They keep the best for themselves anyway. The rest of it’s just junk they steal from their peasants.” The king sat up and flopped against the back of his chair. “I just wish they’d stop fighting and leave. There are better ways for me to waste my time.”
“Let them fight,” came the sibilant response.
“What?” scoffed the king.
“Go ahead. Why not?”
“They’ll be at each other’s throats and on to civil war, that’s why not.”
“So? Rivton is an incompetent, and Ird seeks to put his grandson on the throne. Both are nothing now, but they could soon become threats.” The pseudodragon flicked its tongue before continuing. “Let them war against each other. Then, when they’re both weakened, sweep them away.”
The king’s knitted brow slowly unfurrowed. Without a word, His Majesty stood and purposefully strode from the chamber. Smiling broadly, the draconic schemer took to the air, looking for a sunny spot to lie.
It was a good day not to be the king.