Editor’s Perspective
2020 PREDICTIONS 2020. 2020. 2020. Say it fast. It just has that cool, rapid fire vibe when you say it, agreed? I mean, it takes like 10 seconds to say nineteen fiftysix. Think of all the kids born this year — when they go to Sam’s Club pharmacy to get their Plavix prescription filled in 2083 and they ask for their date of birth, they can spit out 2020…BOOM! My phone number ends in 5050, and when someone asks me for it and I say fity-fity, just for a moment I’m In Da Club. Anyway, some interesting facts about the year 2020. It’s the year of the White Rat, but not just any White Rat, the Metal White Rat. According to “Trusted Psychic Mediums” if the number 2020 appears in your “session” it is a message from your guardian angels that you will achieve all your life goals. So you got that going for you. It is a leap year, so you have one extra day to achieve those life goals, or screw something up, depending on your perspective. It is the 400th anniversary of the Pilgrims landing at Plymouth Rock on the Mayflower. That is if you can believe ANYTHING we were taught in history class. Who says fake news only began a few years ago?? Some fun facts left out of the Pilgrim story: not long after they landed, they founded this country’s first moving company. A few years later, the Plymouth division of Chrysler produced their first sedan near the site, and at least in my neck of the woods the Pilgrims started the Mayflower Seafood restaurant chain. Doesn’t sound like a stuffy bunch of Puritans to me. On a darker note, 2020 is an election year. Because of this, I am going against the guidance of our VTC lawyers and The Man. Yes, I’m not issuing the official disclaimer for my prediction ramblings this year. I’m going out on a limb here I know, but I’m betting the things coming out of our glorious nation’s capital, on Facebook, Twitter, yada
Mark Vaughn, CGCS Virginia Turfgrass Journal Editor
yada will be much more slanderous than the few loose words written here in this little publication. And if Donnie, Nancy, Mitch or anyone else wants to take us on, we’ll just fall back on the immortal words of P.T. Barnum: “there is no such thing as bad publicity.” Following Boris Johnson’s lead with Parliament/Brexit, and fed up with the endless investigations into his presidency, DT asks Queen to suspend Congress indefinitely. Surviving members Brian May and Roger Taylor are flattered, but try to explain they have no influence in the political arena. Frustrated by their explanation, The Donald launches a Twitter tirade, calling them the biggest no-talent losers to host a sellout crowd at Wembley Stadium. Researchers at Virginia Tech proclaim a new day for struggling Southside Virginia golf courses. In keeping with the ever-changing economy, the university announces the Ziggy Marley School of Cannabis will be located at the Institute for Advanced Learning and Research in Danville. “We’ve long known there wasn’t an ounce of topsoil in Pittsylvania County,” states Doobie Dab, dean of the new school. “For prime golf conditions, this mix of red clay, sandstone, and gumbo is crap. But farmers have been growing that “death weed” tobacco on this junk for years. We’ve got hundreds of irrigated acres on area courses just waiting for a new cash crop. CBD beats the heck out of trying to sell golf for $20 per round. Plus, when the commonwealth is finally lighting up “miracle weed” in a few years, we’ll be sitting right at ground zero.” The PGA Tour announces their in-house study reveals they have no pace-of-play problem. Commissioner Jay Monahan declares “this is a conspiracy by the media to
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