LEADING HEARTS
“Leeana says out loud the things we all feel, and she says it with grace and eloquence. Reading these pages is like sitting with a friend.”
SHAUNA NIEQUIST, author of Bread & Wine
Breathing Room self-condemnation, a discovery of the rest that comes when we offer ourselves some space to breathe. Vulnerable and winsome, Leeana Tankersley shows you how to stop beating yourself up, how to be radically on your own team, and how to truly experience grace.
If you’ve been putting on a strong front and yet are you’ll find in these pages
“
IT’S
THAT TIME OF YEAR
WHEN STEAMING PUMPKIN AND CANDY CANE LATTÉS COME WITH YOUR NAME HAND-WRITTEN ON
THEIR PAPER-CUP FACES. “ Yes, it’s the season to be jolly, caffeinated and stressed.
Those picture-perfect family gatherings is enough to make any sane woman feel like her life is not measuring up to either her expectations or the expectations of her nearest relatives. Unfortunately, the one thing that will exceed our expectations will be the credit card bill that rings in the New Year.
I have good news. You don’t need to spend too much, bake like your grandmother, or decorate your home to look like it came off the cover of Southern Living in order to create the perfect holidays for yourself or your family.
All you really need is to slow down; slow down the spending, the busyness, the unrealistic expectations you put on yourself so that you can create a new holiday tradition of gratitude.
What if, this year, you gave a nod of appreciation, not only to coworkers, friends and family, but also to the Lord God?
What would this kind of gratitude look like? It could be as simple as a smile, a thank you, a warm welcome; sent not only to others who share your world, but to the one who created it.
Otherwise we could end up like a harried woman dashing through the department stores who was overheard to say, “Whoever invented Christmas ought to be shot.”
Well hello. Jesus is the one who invented Christmas when he was born of a virgin in the little town of Bethlehem. He wasn’t shot, he was crucified. He died to pay the penalty for our sins so that we could know and have a relationship with God. (See www.GodTest. com to learn more).
FROM THE PUBLISHER
“ SO WITH GOD’S GIFT TO US IN MIND, LET’S START A NEW TRADITION, A TRADITION THAT MIGHT INCLUDE A THANKSGIVING AS WELL AS CHRISTMAS SPENT COUNTING THOSE THINGS FOR WHICH WE ARE TRULY THANKFUL TO THE LORD.”
To help get you started, I’d like to share my abbreviated list with you:
I am grateful to God for my friends and family, not to mention, the gift God gave me to connect with you. I am grateful for the opportunities to lead in my home, work, church and community.
We all have been given a special gift, an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of those God has entrusted to us. Take time to make your own list and remember to give God the Glory for it all.
Happy Thanksgiving and have a wonderful, blessed Christmas season.
With
love,
LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD PUBLISHER, LEADING HEARTS MAGAZINE
EMPOWERING CHRISTIAN WOMEN FOR LEADERSHIP
LEADING HEARTS
NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2014
VOL. 1, ISSUE 5
EDITORIAL STAFF
PUBLISHER Linda Evans Shepherd
EDITOR........................A mber Weigand-Buckley
ART DIRECTOR............... Katie Mattiuzzo
ADVERTISING Linda Evans Shepherd, Angelina Locricchio
COPY EDITOR Amber Weigand-Buckley
EDITORIAL SECRETARY.....A ngelina Locricchio
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Angela Breidenbach, Rebekah Binkley Montgomery, Penelope Carlevato, Kathy Collard Miller, Michelle S. Cox, Saundra Dalton-Smith, Sharon Norris Elliott, Dr. Edna Ellison, Pam Farrel, Torry Martin, Aubrey Marie Peterson, Marilyn Luce Robertson, Rhonda Rhea, Candy Tolbert, Lisa Troyer, Karen H. Whiting and Heather Van Allen
RIGHT TO THE HEART BOARD MEMBERS
Linda Evans Shepherd (President), Dianne Butts, Sharon Norris Elliot, Dr. Edna Ellison, Karen Porter, Kathy Collard Miller, Rhonda Rhea and Carole Whang Schutter and Joy A. Schneider
INFORMATION
Leading Hearts magazine is published bimonthly by Right to the Heart Ministries 2014.
ADVERTISING | Display rates are available at leadinghearts.com. By accepting an advertisement, Leading Hearts does not endorse any advertiser or product. We reserve the right to reject advertisements not consistent with the magazines objectives.
MANUSCRIPTS | Writers guidelines are available at leadinghearts.com.
Leading Hearts | PO Box 6421, Longmont, CO 80501
phone: (303) 835-8473 | fax: (303)678-0260 email: amber@leadinghearts.com
MEMBER | Evangelical Press Association
All rights reserved. Copyrighted material reprinted with permission
Photos courtesy of: Dollar Photo Club, Duck Dynasty—Thomas Nelson, Torry Martin, Gotee Records, Jesus Culture, Kerry Kara Photography /KLS Photos & Imaging, Aubrey Peterson, Thomas Nelson, Lisa Troyer, Revell, Wind-Up Records, Word Entertainment and Zondervan.
“ I NEVER GREW UP GIVING MUCH
REVERENCE TO PLACES AND ICONS; BUT FOR SOME REASON I FOUND MY KNEES WEAK.
“ It was the third day of Chanukah and I was in Israel for the very first time standing in city of Nazareth. We had made our way past the shopkeepers and traffic lined streets to the Church of the Annunciation, which sits in the side of the hill of the city. The church was supposedly built on the spot where Mary was visited by the angel announcing her as the highly favored woman to give birth to Jesus Christ.
“Emmanuel: God with us.” In that spot I understood the power in that statement—the power in that name.
Under the church you can see the excavated remains of the old city…soon I began to imagine Jesus as a little boy as he grew spent his day helping Joseph in the carpentry shop, learning at Synagogue and playing in the streets. Even then, I wonder when or if his mother had informed him of his weighty “Savior of the World” title.
Our guide from the Israel Ministry of Tourism, Tzion Ben David, took time to explain to the journalists on our tour some of the symbols and traditions connected with Chanukah in the place where it all began.—a true an immersion experience. I learned that in the celebration of Chanukah the Jewish people have a saying “Nes Gadol Hayah Sham.”
The phrase translates, “A great miracle happened there.” An acronym of this is inscribed on the dreidel game, (but changed to say “a great miracle happened here.”). Because the Greek-Syrians outlawed Jews from learning the Torah, the Jews used the game to hide their studies.
Chanukah commemorates the great miracle of one day of oil light in the Golden Menorah lasting for eight days which gave light to the Jewish people who were in the middle of a heated battle with the Greeks. On the eighth day the Jews defeated their great foe. As I sailed across the Sea of Galilee, walked the streets of Capernum, and ran my hand across the aged temple steps it all came together: this wasn’t an isolated
FROM THE EDITOR
incident for God’s chosen people.
From Nazareth to Bethlehem, to the Sea of Galilee to Capernaum, all the way to Jerusalem to the most distant reaches of the holiest of lands—every rock had a miraculous story of provision and triumph to tell. The greatest miracle that ever was is represented in 10,840 square miles of the globe—a bit larger than the state of Maryland. A little bit larger space than the average size driedel, but it packs a load of meaning all the same. “A great miracle happened here.”
Those words came to remembrance two days later as I stood in Jerusalem at the Garden Tomb. The shakiness crept back in my knees. I realized it wasn’t just one “great miracle” but “the greatest miracle that ever was happened here.” God in flesh stomping out the darkness of death itself.
Within the mix of Chanukah driedles and Christmas dirt, my soul bears witness to the greatest miracle that ever happened in the Promised Land. I will walk in reverent obedience, selfless love and set my mission on being proclaiming Christ’s saving grace and love wherever I find my feet.
The greatest miracle of all time happens here...and I got to see it for myself.
Peace!
AMBER WEIGAND-BUCKLEY EDITOR, LEADING HEARTS MAGAZINE
A DYNASTY OF FAITH AND FAMILY
AL ROBERTSON WITH AMBER WEIGAND-BUCKLEY
MEET THE ROBERTSONS. THESE CAMO-CLAD CLAN OF MILLIONARIES FROM LOUISANA HAVE MADE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES AS OVERNIGHT REALITY SHOW SENSATIONS. I WAS ABLE TO SPEAK WITH PASTOR AL ROBERTSON, THE OLDEST, BEARDLESS BROTHER OF THE “DUCK DYNASTY” CLAN, ABOUT THE RICH LEGACY OF FAITH AND FAMILY THAT KEEPS THIS FAMILY ON TRACK.
YOU HAVE THIS BIBLE OUT AND YOU JUST GOT BACK FROM A DUCK COMMANDER CRUISE. IT MUST BE CRAZY TO SEE ALL THE OPPORTUNITIES GOD IS OPENING TO YOUR FAMILY TO SHARE THE GOSPEL.
AL: It is pretty crazy at times. We were on a boat with 3,000 of our crazy fans. It was a blast. We had duck calls going on the whole time. I reminded me of summer youth camp.
Personally, I have a great platform and opportunity to do this Bible project and other projects in the works. It really just broadened the ability to speak to a lot of people that I really could’ve never spoke to before. I’ve been chucklin’ the last few months because I got to meet Ravi Zacharias and Steve Farrar. Great writers and thinkers that are out there in the biblical world that I have always respected as a pastor, and it’s funny that they are the people I looked up to in my faith journey and I get to meet them now.
I THINK IT’S GOING TO BE AMAZING TO SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL BUY A
BIBLE FOR THE FIRST TIME BECAUSE IT’S A “DUCK DYNASTY” BIBLE.
AL: Yeah, that’s really how this whole thing came to be. I was excited about it obviously because nobody has studied the Bible more than Dad and I have in terms of our teaching and preaching through the years. Then, it hit me. There’s a lot of people that this may be their first Bible or their first gift from a family member, whoever is a big fan of our show, and they may never have spent. much time in the Word. That was the appeal to Dad and I both. We were excited about that.
When we sat down and worked on this material it was just like a big Bible study which we love. We sat down with our computers and our Bibles out and just really went through several days of workin’ on what we love to do, and that’s how the Bible came to life through practical application and life changes. It was a lot of fun. It was the most fun I’ve had on any of the projects we’ve done so far .
NOW FOR THE DUCK COMMANDER BIBLE PROJECT, YOU AND YOUR DAD FOCUSED ON THE ROBERTSON FIVE CORE VALUES OF FAITH, FAMILY, FELLOWSHIP, FORGIVENESS AND FREEDOM. WHY ARE THESE IMPORTANT TO YOU AS A FAMILY?
It was not an accident that we picked those values, because those are kind of our principles that guide us. We have started seeing a void of those concepts being talked about anywhere.
All of a sudden you have a fight in your home with your child or your spouse and you don’t know how to forgive because you have never been taught that—it’s not part of your life principles. Or, you’re in some cultural setting where freedom is not what it once was—people are enslaved to a lot of different things.
So those core values are things that people are looking for and one of the reasons, I believe the show has had a high appeal. It’s because those things are upfront and you see those concepts played out within the context of family.
That’s why we’re seeing thousands of people show up at appearances saying, “We want to know more. Tell us about faith.” To us, that’s the ultimate layup. We’re like, “Hey, that’s what we live for is to tell people about that.”
- continued on p. 10-
THERE’S NO TELLING HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN LED TO CHRIST THROUGH A SHOW ABOUT DUCKS.
AL: That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to do the Bible project. Because me being a teacher and preacher for 22 years, I made my living off of telling people about these people in the Bible that were just these little known, the runt of the litter, the crazy guy over here—all these people that are spread out between the Old Testament and the New Testament that are basically there because God used them in some powerful way.
That’s kind of the ironic thing that’s for us. You know you have these families here in Northern Louisiana, some of them crazy lookin’ or acting like Si, but who obviously love each other and serve a greater purpose. It really is
like one of those unexpected Gideons or Jonahs that you see in the Bible but never quite fit into their own culture but have this amazing ability to relate to God’s grace.
AS YOU’VE WORKED ON THIS BIBLE PROJECT WITH YOUR DAD, TELL US ABOUT SOMETHING NEW THAT YOU’VE DISCOVERED.
AL: I was sort of re-living life change because life-change is a big theme in this project. We start off with those 30 Life Changers at the beginning of the Bible which are basically like a devotional guide—an everyday devotional with a story of a different life that was changed—different people we have interacted with through the years.
These stories impact me deeply. Some were funny because they are about the crazy ways of how we came to meet these people. But in telling these stories, it has really showed me that God has been using us for a long time to
do what He needs done in the lives of others.
I KNOW THE ROBERTSON CLAN WEREN’T ALWAYS CHRISTIANS IN THE EARLY YEARS.
AL: Mom and Dad grew up in Christian homes but when they got to college, they left their Christian roots. They were very young when I was born. So for about 10 years for Dad and about 8 years for Mom, they were disconnected from God. So during my early years, I had no spiritual experience through them. The ironic thing is when Mom and Dad worked for a school system in Arkansas, we lived across the street from an older couple—a preacher and his wife.
When I was just 4-years-old, this couple took me to church. I remember the first thing that I went to was Vacation Bible School which I thought was awesome. You got cookies, Kool Aid and you got Bible stories.
The pastor was a blind lady. I was always amazed because she knew the words to every song and she knew so much Bible, even thought she couldn’t see. To us small kids, she was like a spiritual superhero because she knew so much. But she taugh and put a foundation in me. So even though I wasn’t in a Christian home at the time, God still found a way to reach me.
IN YOUR TEEN YEARS, YOU KIND OF HAD A PRODIGAL SON EXPERIENCE. HOW DID THE WAY YOUR PARENTS LOVED YOUR DURING THAT REBELLIOUS TIME IN YOUR LIFE IMPACT YOUR DECISION TO TURN BACK TO CHRIST?
AL: During my high school years, my parents returned to the faith, but I was in rebellion. So when I graduated from high school my parents told me, “Al, you can’t stay here at home to influence your brothers. You can’t be a part of our family and live apart from what we believe in. So if you want to choose to live your own way, then you’re going to have to go out on your own.”
Looking back, I was youthful, prideful and stubborn so I thought they were being jerks. After about a year and a half of living in New Orleans, I came to that realization that if I stayed in that place, living my own way, I wouldn’t live to see 19. I was a train wreck.
My parents were consistent to do what God says. So
now I very much appreciate that it was a hard thing to take this stand with me. That’s tough love. I tell audiences now, “Look, that’s not hate speech when you tell someone the Truth. That’s love speech because you are providing them a way out. Now, your kids may or may not want to hear it at that moment. But trust me, if they ever do, they will always respect you for saying the right thing and living it.”
Also, when I came back home, my parents who asked me to leave because I wasn’t livin’ the right way, totally embraced me just like that father did in Luke 15. They said, “We’re not going to hold any past mistakes you’ve made against you.” We never went backwards. We only went forward and that’s the beauty of it. That’s what true forgiveness is all about.
ON THE SHOW, YOU SEE THE STRENGTH OF THE FAMILY UNIT—HOW HAS THAT BEEN AN INTERGRAL PART OF YOUR LIFE.
AL: Lisa and I have been married 30 years. In fact, we’ve got a book coming out next year where we sort of tell our story. Like my parents, we got married young. We were 19 and 18, and pregnant the next year. We had our daughters, Anna, and then Alex when we were still young.
My wife and I connected when I was in my rebellious years. She was a good girl raised in a good home and was crazy about me. I was a negative influence on her. So we knew something about pain and difficulty through our relationship. We’ve had some difficulties along the way like any couple who has been married over 30 years. Still, we’ve managed to stay together, to love one another and to really understand the power of forgiveness.
My oldest daughter, Anna, got married when she was 18 as well. She had Carly, who is eight now—so we are young grandparents with seven grandchildren.
YOU’VE SEEN LIFE FROM BOTH SIDES— FINANCIAL STRUGGLES AS WELL AS THE POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE OF FAME. NOW YOUR KIDS ALREADY HAVE SPEAKING PLATFORMS. HOW DO YOU KEEP THEM GROUNDED?
AL: When Mama and Daddy became Christians, we didn’t have much and we had to bond together to start the business, to work together. Now, we’ve got suc-
cess. We have a thriving business and most of us are engaged in a part of it. We’re on television. Our kids are out there so that’s our biggest concern as we move forward with our children and grandkids. We want to keep that same love, commitment to God, commitment to forgiveness and be who we are as people and a family. We don’t want the success to be the thing that unravels us.
All four of us brothers live on the same street in West Monroe, Louisanna. We’ve been here about nine months. We moved in closer to town where Willie and Jase already lived, and Jep just bought a house. Jep, Jessica and their kids will be on the same street. We did that because we want to raise our kids together. My grandkids are about the same age as their younger kids. So we have that same sense of family, community, accountability for one another, like when we were growing up. We’re trying to instill our values into our children
WHAT’S ONE WORD OF ADVICE YOU WOULD LIKE TO LEAVE WITH FAMILIES FOR THIS TIME, THIS GENERATION?
AL: Families that have something bigger than themselves to commit to are happier families. I think that’s what you see on the show. You see generational group of people that love God and love each other. The reason we are able to do that is because there’s something bigger than ourselves. And that bigger foundation for your family needs to be your faith in Christ.
S
Read a review of The Duck Commander Faith and Family Bible on p. 38.
PRAYING WITH SOMEONE IN NEED
BY REBEKAH MONTGOMERY
“ … SWEET HOUR OF PRAYER
Thy wings shall my petition bear
To Him whose truth and faithfulness Engage the waiting soul to bless.
Hymn: Sweet Hour of Prayer. Lyrics by William W. Walford, 1772 –1850; Music by William B. Bradbury, 1816 - 1868
When I opened the envelope, out fell a scrap of paper roughly the size of a recipe card. Handwritten on plain paper was the following:
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to You on behalf of Rebekah—not because we are good, but because You are good and You said we could come boldly before Your throne.
You are the Great Physician. You know what the doc-
tors do not know. Please give them wisdom to help Rebekah…
The prayer went on with simple, heartfelt words addressed to the Almighty on my behalf. After the written “Amen,” my father signed his name at the bottom.
I needed prayer, but I was beyond tired. Simply put, I was too exhausted to pray for myself. Illness sapped the life—both spiritual and physical—out of me. I had stopped eating and was almost too weary to breathe.
But this prayer, personalized for my situation and me and written on the card, was just what I needed—divinely inspired just for me. I can’t tell you how many times I pulled it out and reread the prayer as I waited in hospitals and doctors’ offices. It transported me on borrowed wings of faith from hopelessness to health. I kept it long after I was well, until it disintegrated into confetti.
What was the prayer? I purposely have not included it lest someone mistakenly conclude there was something magical about the wording. However, when I asked my father, the author of the prayer, how he happened to choose the words he penned, he said, “I prayed about what to pray for you. I know that might sound a little strange, but I often ask God how to pray before I pray for someone. I guess it is similar to the disciples asking Jesus to teach them how to pray. (Luke 11:1) I don’t know what God has in mind for someone, but I want to pray his will be done, so I ask what his will is and agree with him.”
“ I OFTEN ASK GOD HOW TO PRAY BEFORE I PRAY FOR SOMEONE. I GUESS IT IS SIMILAR TO THE DISCIPLES ASKING JESUS TO TEACH THEM HOW TO PRAY. “
My father went on to say that he also asked the Lord to bring to his mind scripture to include in his prayers. This was typical of Dad. He and Mom both were longtime prayer warriors.
Although active in church ministry and missions throughout their lives, as Dad and Mom aged into their late eighties and nineties, praying for others became their main ministry. Dad kept a prayer list, and with morning coffee in hand, he brought each name and need on the list before the throne of God. It was during these morning coffee and prayer sessions with God he would be inspired to write and mail prayers to individuals, similar to the one he sent me.
Mom kept her list in her journal and wrote out her prayers longhand on its pages, then carefully recorded how God answered.
While they did a lot of their praying in private or by sending handwritten prayers, they were not shy about praying for people in person. Rarely did anyone leave their home without the blessing of a prayer.
This did not change when, in their twilight years, they lived in a nursing home. Often I have seen nursing home personnel come to Mom and Dad’s room requesting prayer. When that happened, they would move their wheelchairs together, enfold the person in their arms, and pray aloud for God’s intervention. At ninety-eight, Dad went on ahead to heaven. Mom
was also in her nineties when she left us. Although she had dementia and couldn’t remember what day of the week it was, when she prayed, her mind becomes crystal clear, her thoughts lucid. What was also extraordinary was that she prayed about situations of which she has no knowledge and couldn’t remember if she did.
When someone is in need, many people—even non-Christians—will promise to pray. That’s nice. But it truly makes a lasting impression on the soul is when someone transports him or her to the throne room of the Almighty on their wings of prayer. And it’s really not that hard; I promise.
Here are some tips I find helpful when praying aloud for someone:
No need to use fancy or religious words, such as “thees” and “thous.” Just speak to God using everyday language so the person you are praying for can follow you.
Address God by one of his many names: Great Physician, Mighty Counselor, God Almighty, Father in Heaven, the Lord Our Shepherd, Lord Our Healer, Lord Our Provider, Helper, Provider, and more.
Don’t spend your whole prayer telling God what to do. Ask him what you or the person you are praying for should do. For example, if Bill is sick, in addition to asking for God to heal him, you might pray, “Please help Bill know what he needs to do to get well. Give him the courage to walk the road to recovery.” If Bill’s family is there, you might pray, “Please help Bill’s family to know how to encourage and support him through his illness and recovery.” If Bill needs financial help, you might pray, “Please help Bill to be able to provide for the needs of his family.”
Try not to ask God to do things he already said he would do. He doesn’t need reminding, but we do. For example: There is no need to pray, “Be with Bill,” because Jesus said, “I’ll never leave you. I’ll never forsake you.” Pray instead, “Please give Bill an awareness of your Presence.”
Philippians 4:6 gives some simple but effective tips for praying: Don’t fret. Make your needs known to God. Pray with thanksgiving.
Focus on God when praying, not the problem.
REBEKAH BINKLEY MONTGOMERY is author of Faithprints. Find her online at www.rebekahmontgomery.com S
WHY ARE WE ARGUING?
BY PAM FARREL
“
DO EVERYTHING WITHOUT GRUMBLING OR ARGUING, SO THAT YOU MAY BECOME BLAMELESS AND PURE, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation .“ (Phil 2:14-15). In the small group Bible study for Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti we joke: “Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you’re right, but your mate just hasn’t realized it yet.”
“ WE JOKE ABOUT ARGUMENTS BECAUSE IT IS SO EASY FOR EVERYONE TO FIND THEMSELVES IN THIS ROUGH PLACE. WE BOTH GREW
UP IN HOMES WITH A DAILY DOSE OF DISAGREEMENTS.“
Once I refereed an hour long argument over if the Chevy my dad was driving was a 1959 or 1958!!! Couples can get into a cycle of disagreement where everything becomes a point of contention. We could have repeated this unhealthy, destructive, time-wasting way of life but instead, we made a simple choice: Let God’s Spirit select our words.
Psalm 141:3: Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.
Now that we have the principle in place to think and pray before you speak. In our book, A Couple’s Journey with God, we look a little closer at the type of words to avoid and why:
Proverbs 4:24: Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.
Perversity is words that are “bent,” “crooked,” or “twisted,” applied to persons involved in moral error.” You know when you twist words just to make your mate feel bad or look bad.
Corrupt talk is a pretty strong word meaning things like: to debase, brutalize, demoralize, degrade and ruin. This
goes to your motive, the “why” of your word choice. What was in your heart when you said what you said.
In Ephesians 5:4: Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Obscenity means filthy or shameful. Foolish talk is silly or unnecessary. Coarse joking is anything vulgar or nasty. To sum it up, ask “Would my mama, Nana, or pastor want to hear me say this?”Then Jesus wouldn’t want to hear it or have you say it either.)
But by far, the couples that allow poor word choice to destroy their love comes from one main source: tearing down their mate, word by word, like a slow steady drip. We live on the side of a mountain, and one winter, a gentle a rain soon turned into a full on storm, then a torrential downpour that pounded away at the mountain side. The puddles turned into streams, and the streams became rushing rivers, creating a flash flood until, in a moment, the entire side of our yard slid down the hill. It was gone in what felt like a heartbeat, but in actuality, it eroded one tiny raindrop at a time. We just hadn’t noticed until what was once ours was washed completely away. The devastation was immense, and everyone had a view of the catastrophe because it was so apparent.
“ BUT BY FAR, THE COUPLES THAT ALLOW POOR WORD CHOICE TO DESTROY THEIR LOVE COMES FROM ONE MAIN SOURCE: TEARING DOWN THEIR MATE, WORD BY WORD, LIKE A SLOW STEADY DRIP. “
In the same way, harsh words are like the consistent rain and it will wash away your love. Nit picking, criticizing, critiquing, name calling, fussing, cruel, unkind, inconsiderate, mean words will ruin your marriage and the devastation will be obvious to all around. There is an art to the unsaid.
PAM FARREL is an international speaker, author of 40 books, and co-director of www.Love-Wise.com
RELATIVE INSANITY
BY TORRY MARTIN
“ CHRISTMAS, A TIME WHEN
MOST PEOPLE EAGERLY SHOP
EARLY AND JOYOUSLY WRAP
THEIR PRESENTS WITH CARE. “
I however am not most people. I prefer to do my shopping on Christmas Eve. I know that sounds very last minute of me, but why shop early when I know there’s a convenient truck stop on the way to my parents house where I can purchase all my gifts at once and for under twenty dollars?
It’s the only place I know where I can buy bobble-heads in bulk. The helpful truck stop store clerk will even have them bagged, I mean, “wrapped” separately while I’m waiting for my car to refuel.
I like truck stop Christmas shopping. It allows me to get all the other things I’ll need for my trip. The Tums for mom’s turkey with Jalapeño stuffing, the aspirin I’ll need for the headache my screaming nieces give me, and the box of Band-Aids for the injuries my father and I will inevitably suffer while getting our Christmas tree. (We use our ATV’s to storm through the blockade that’s annually formed by The Friends of the Earth at the entrance to the Franklin Family Tree Farm.)
One of us is usually sprained, bruised or bleeding afterwards but it’s a tradition we both look forward to. Thankfully we’ve learned to wear helmets after past experience dictated that a smack in the noggin from a “Friends of the Earth” picket sign could leave a nasty bump on the head. (Note: If they’re really so concerned about saving tree’s why are their signs made completely out of wood?)
Christmas at my house has always been a little unusual. In fact in my teen years I used to be embarrassed to bring friends home for the holidays. I wasn’t embarrassed of my family however. It was just the way they were dressed that caused me some distress. Having my Mom wear a bear costume while serving Christmas cookies or dressed as Mary Poppins while my Dad dressed as Grumpy the dwarf always made me a bit uneasy about introducing new friends to the way we spent our holidays.
My family started the tradition of dressing up several years ago. We realized that the same aunt who would
bore us all at Christmas by forcing our entire clan to look at pictures from the annual summer vacation spent with her wealthy husband’s family, would also make her in-laws look at Christmas pictures of our family during their summer vacation.
Having a naturally competitive family, we knew we couldn’t compete with the wealthy family in the pictures on a monetary basis so we decided to simply make our photos funnier instead. At least they wouldn’t be bored with our pictures.
The interesting thing is that my friends were never embarrassed by my family’s odd and eccentric behavior or by our handpicked, ATV driven, broken and battered Christmas tree. They seemed to be envious of it instead. I remember one year having a buddy of mine wistfully saying, “Man, your family is funny! I wish we had a real tree like yours. Ours is plastic and smells like mold from the attic.”
That’s when I realized that seeing your family tree through another person’s eyes helps you to appreciate how good you really have it. I wouldn’t miss my family Christmas for anything now and I’m hoping you feel the same way about attending yours. One last word of advice for packing though before you depart; make sure to leave all of your family related emotional baggage behind but set your therapists number for speed dial. That’s what I call being “safe” for the holidays.
TORRY MARTIN is is an award winning Christian comedian actor and author who currently writes for “Adventures in Odyssey”, produced by Focus on the Family. Go to www.torrymartin.com to wish him a Merry Christmas.
ABOUT A MILE, COMPOSED OF BROTHERS ADAM, LUKE AND LEVI KLUTINOTY, HAIL FROM A LARGE GOD-LOVING, HARDWORKING
FAMILY IN PITTSBURGH. With little money, they sent a message to award-winning music producer Ian Eskelin asking him to help him record a song. To the band’s surprise, Eskelin messaged them and said he would see them at their next show. That show led to a trip to Word Entertainment that resulted in their self-titled album. Recently, About A Mile frontman/guitarist Adam spoke with contributing writer Jennifer Taylor about the band’s journey.
WHEN DID YOU AND YOUR BROTHER START PLAYING TOGETHER AS A BAND?
ADAM: We started playing together as a band six years in our youth group. From there, we just progressed to getting shows in the area. Then, we went around on a little tour of churches all around the U.S.—a bunch on the coast of California. That’s where we met Ian.
WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUTH GROUP, YOU HEARD A MESSAGE THAT INSPIRED THE NAME ABOUT A MILE.
ADAM: We heard somebody say that Jesus carried his cross about a mile. However, it wasn’t that main image
of Him carrying it about a mile that made the difference. We know Jesus, being the Son of God, could do anything. It was the reason why He did it.
YOUR MUSIC AND THE NEW ALBUM IS RECIEVING GREAT REVIEWS. WHO ARE YOUR MUSICAL INFLUENCES?
ADAM: Our musical influences are dcTalk, Steven Curtis Chapman and Petra. I like Petra a lot. I also love blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughn
WHAT ARE THE PRIMARY MESSAGES THAT YOU HOPE LISTENERS WILL TAKE AWAY FROM THE NEW ALBUM?
ADAM: However, I would have to say the message of the gospel is evident in every one of our songs. That’s what we want to get out. If you look at our first single, “Satisfied,” it’s about being satisfied in Christ. First Timothy 6:6 says that “godliness with contentment is great gain”— I remind myself daily. The fact that He would use me, and let me be used to carry His message, is the most humbling thing ever.
BEHIND THE SCENES
YOU WROTE THAT SONG, “SATISFIED,” WHILE YOU WERE BATTLING SICKNESS.
ADAM: My battle of sickness disabled me a lot. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I just had a lot of fog in my brain from being extremely unhealthy and in pain.
Writing that song was when I said that enough is enough. I’m not going to complain about this. I’m going to try to be the example of Job who went through a lot more than I am going through at this point.
The Bible says that God will work out all things for the good of those who love Him. That doesn’t mean it’s going to be in this lifetime. I’m have to be satisfied in Christ alone. Because if to live is Christ, then I know that to die is gain. In Heaven there won’t be any more sickness or tears. There won’t be any more pain.
So just realizing that and trying to stay in that attitude. That is why “Satisfied” was written. That’s what the song is about and I’m not saying that it’s an easy thing now that my health has been restored. Glory to God. It’s a daily battle to be satisfied in Christ alone.
HOW WAS THE ENCOURAGE FROM YOUR MOM IMPORTANT WHEN YOU WERE STRUGGLING WITH YOUR ILLNESS?
ADAM: The worst part of the sickness was knowing that I couldn’t lie to my mother. I could fool everybody else and say, “I feel okay,” even though I was walking around looking like a twig. But when my mom asked, if I would try to say I was doing okay, I would always break down and start crying. I couldn’t call her when everything was going wrong. I couldn’t talk to her; I didn’t call her at all because I didn’t want her to worry. But sometimes when I was feeling really bad I just needed to hear my mom’s voice. There was just something comforting about it. She would always encourage me and say, “God has a plan for this. He’s going to work everything out and you just have to be patient.”
WHAT
DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR LIFE VERSE?
ADAM: I have like a billion verses that I dedicate my life around. They are all so good. The Bible says that I have hidden the Word in my heart that I won’t sin against you. We all need to stay in the Word. Honestly. it’s the only thing that keeps us on track—and our hearts and minds focused in the right direction. S
ABOUT A MILE
LYSA TERKEURST New York Times bestselling author
TERKEURST, of 31 demands on your time, this book is your
Unglued and president of Proverbs Ministries he true remedy to stress, Linda Evans Shepherd says, is prayer. In this inspiring book, she shows you how to recognize God’s continual presence in your life and yield your troubles to the Prince of Peace. Through captivating stories, explorations of fascinating biblical characters, and examples of deeperthan-ever prayers, she brings within your grasp the peace that passes understanding. If you are overwhelmed by all of the urgent demands on your time, this book is your lifeline to true peace.
Also Available from LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD
WORD POWER
BY MICHELLE S. COX
“ I READ A FACEBOOK POST FROM MY FRIEND, CARRIE, AND
ASKED TO SHARE HER STORY. “
It’s a powerful example of how our words take root in the hearts of our children.
She was shopping recently when she noticed an adorable toddler. When Carrie and another woman said how cute he was, the mom responded, “I wanted a little girl, but I got a mean boy instead.” And then she poked him in the stomach, looking at him disdainfully.
A little later, Carrie ran into the mom a second time. She tried again, “I just love your little boy’s voice. His country accent is so cute.”
The mom replied, “I’m sick of it.”
As Carrie turned to walk off, she heard the tiny boy say something that broke her heart. “I’m a mean boy, huh, Mommy?”
I hope the mom had just had a rough day and that she isn’t always like that. The words she uttered that day certainly didn’t make that little guy feel loved or wanted.
Here are some things to remember about the way we use our words as parents:
• Our words can wound and discourage, or they can uplift and encourage.
• If the words are repeated often enough, children can come to believe that they ARE what you’re saying.
• Children listen a lot more than we think they do.
• Our words will often be remembered for the rest of their lives—in a good or a bad way.
Become the mom who’ll speak words of encouragement into the lives of your children. Tell them they’re special and you’re proud of them. Tell them you’re glad God gave them to you.
Our words are powerful tools. What are you building— or tearing down—with the words you say to and about your children?
MICHELLE COX is an author and speaker and the creator of the Just 18 Summers® brand of parenting resources and products. The Just 18 Summers novel is available now! To visit her parenting blog, to learn more about Michelle and the book, or to invite her to speak, go to www.just18summers.com and www.Facebook.com/just18summers.
WHAT IS YOUR ‘TUDE
BY EDNA ELLISON
“ SHE’S NEVER HAPPY. SHE HAS A ‘TUDE!. “ What’s your attitude? Is it one of constant gratitude or most of the time one of resentment or dissatisfaction? Do you often need an attitude adjustment?
“ AS A CHRISTIAN LEADER, YOU WANT TO MODEL HUMILITY AND STILL LEAD DYNAMICALLY. “
Even when those you are leading, coaching, or mentoring are demonstrating a feeling of entitlement, as if they think they should be the leader, remain calm and speak from a perspective of Christlike-ness.
Two ways you lead with a Christlike attitude are by words and by body language. For instance, instead of saying “Marie is stubborn,” say “Marie is persistent.” Instead of “Joan is rowdy and loud,” say “Joan is excited and passionate.” Instead of “I want to talk to you,”
say ”I want to talk with you.”
Choose your words wisely. Write a short email or FB note later, thanking those who participated so that written or oral words reinforce your thankfulness for their leadership.
When a leadership team meeting is lowering its attitude of thankfulness from the sublime to the ridiculous, perhaps picking over a minor point in your program planning or wandering from the topic at hand, use the old imperatives “Stop, Drop, and Roll.”
A) Stop talking and listen to what you and the rest of the group have been saying. Spend a few moments allowing others to interpret what they have heard in the group. Encourage those who have been silent to share their thoughts. If you are their fearless leader, then be fearless enough to stop talking for five or ten minutes.
B) Drop your eyes and pray, asking God’s leadership to be the authority in the room. You may say, “Ladies, we may be wandering in our own wisdom, moving in
continued
other directions than those from our ultimate authority, the Lord Almighty. Let’s go to the Lord and pray for specific directions from Him.” Allow leaders to pray aloud around the room. Allow time for silent prayer so each leader can meditate and listen to Him. If God puts a certain scripture verse in your mind, read or quote it aloud, as you lay it on the altar of submission. Then pray aloud, closing the prayer time by giving your own leadership to God.
C) Roll along with the meeting/training time, not allowing the group’s alert thinking to stop long enough for their enthusiasm to stall out after the prayer time. Make sure you have no “down” time, but that you fill the time allotted for a team meeting to roll along without wasting time. Quality time in a leadership team is exciting when it is productive; it becomes a waste of time when the quality time turns into just a quantity of time. Sometimes the mark or our Christian faith is the ability to stop, drop, and roll. This trio/method can also put out destructive fires in leadership teams.
Body language is as important as the words you choose . Don’t sit with your arms folded across your chest—or even worse—with your hands placed on your hips “akimbo” or your fists balled in your lap or at your side. Open your stance, relax your arms, and smile. Make eye contact with those who may hesitate to speak.
Ask if anyone feels God is speaking to them a word of wisdom. If God calls you to share, don’t be too intimidated by anyone as you speak the truth tenderly, in love. Above all, pray before and after each leadership team experience for your own example as a leader who shows a thankful attitude pleasing to God. Show your ‘tude. In word and body.
Having earned her PhD from the University of Alabama, Edna grins when some of her friends call her “Dr. E.” Other friends call her “clunky ol’ Edna”! She says her close friends have taught her to remain humble. Lol.
EDNA ELLISON, president of the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association and author of 32 non-fiction books, adapted today’s mentoring article from her book Friendships of Faith, a Shared Study of Ephesians (Unit 3: Studies 13-15), available from www.ednaellison. com and www.newhopepublishers.com.
DISCUSSION STARTER:
DISCUSSION STARTER:
Use these discussions points at your next leadership team meeting
1. Share with the group your last experience with someone demonstrating an Attitude of Gratitude.
2. Besides the examples above, share some other phrases leaders could use to show an Attitude of Gratitude:
3. Show examples of offensive or defensive body language. Show examples of warm, inviting body language that is appropriate with a leadership team:
3. Do you agree with Edna that the mark of our Christian faith is our ability to “stop, drop, and roll”? How? Why?
One last question: What’s the language spoken in heaven?
(Answer: A language of Thanksgiving. We will spend eternity praising God and thanking Him for who He is and what He has done—in nature, in others, and in our own hearts!
FINDING MY WAY BACK HOME
BY AUBREY PETERSON
AUBREY PETERSON SUMMER. WHAT
“AS A YOUNG GIRL I GREW UP WITH A VERY SIMPLE FAITH.”
I was blessed with a family who showed me Christ daily. My life and faith seemed fairly easy until my junior year of high school when I found out we were moving from Arizona to Missouri.
My dad knew God was asking him to leave the church he had pastored for 18 years. After a few short months we were in Missouri and for the first time in my walk with Jesus, I felt so abandoned.
I found myself spending more nights alone in prayer on my bed than ever before, making every attempt to keep my heart soft towards Jesus despite the pain I felt.
When I look back at those two years in Missouri I realize how pivotal it was in my walk with Jesus. It always had felt like I had an “easy” faith. I never questioned God much.
For the first time it was just Jesus and me. I wanted to be angry and wanted to question why God would allow such pain into our family and home church.
However, for the first time in my life I learned that God brings us through valleys not to leave us alone, but to meet us there. And that’s exactly what He did with me.
In Missouri. I just began to trust Jesus deeper than ever before. I knew I had to become content with
PETERSON WENT ON A MISSION TRIP TO INDONESIA THIS WHAT SHE DISCOVERED WAS MORE THAN A NEW LAND, BUT HER WAY BACK HOME.
loneliness in order to be pushed closer to the Lord. However, just a few years later, as I was preparing for a summer missions trip to Indonesia, I found myself in yet another “valley” of faith. The simplicity of a faith of just trusting God was falling away.
“I WAS LOSING A LOT OF MY FOUNDATION OF WHO CHRIST WAS TO ME.”
I didn’t even know if I could be effective sharing Jesus with others, and here I was in another country and this was was my mission. The need around me was so overwhelming I began to feel insignificant
But as I had learned in months before, God uses these valleys of confusion to draw us nearer.
As the trip progressed, my fear of being ineffective to the people of Indonesia began to dissipate. I saw God move despite the state of confusion my heart was in.
Over the last four weeks of the trip I saw God’s love in a way I’d never seen before. I saw it in the babies I held in the orphanage, in the hearts of people who had church underneath a bridge, and in the eyes of those He healed right in front of me.
“DAY BY DAY GOD BEGAN TO HEAL MY HEART AND REMIND ME OF WHO HE IS.”He is a God who never leaves us alone and who
He is a God who never leaves us alone and makes every part of our lives—both good and bad—beautiful.
Looking back, those few years in Missouri have become a sweet memory rather than one filled with tears.
One of the sweetest things God reminded me of on this trip was the groundwork of my relationship with Him. My greatest valley, ended up becoming a foundational place to grow in my faith.
Through this month in Indonesia I found my home in Jesus again and saw the purpose of the valley I had been walking through just a few years before.
I’ve always thought of my story with Jesus as pretty simple, but when I focus on the bigger picture of the Journey, I’m amazed at the detail of the story.
He is writing that story for each of us, we just have to trust and walk with Him.
He brings us into valleys just to bring us back to a place where we see His faithfulness and grace more than ever before. I am so thankful for my trip to Indonesia. It brought me back to seeing God’s simplicity in His love for us and I found my home again in Him because of it.
AUBREY PETERSON writes for Leading Hearts and Angelic Magazine from her home in sunny Arizona. She loves the opportunities she has been given to share Jesus whether she is leading worship, writing or ministering to the needs of her clients as an licensed esthethician at a local spa.
WHEN DEPRESSION NEEDS MORE THAN PRAYER
BY DR. SAUNDRA DALTON-SMITH
“ I BELIEVE
IN THE POWER OF
PRAYER. I’VE
SEEN PEOPLE EXPERIENCE A LIFE-CHANGING ENCOUNTER
WITH THE
PRESENCE OF GOD. “ I know the scriptures are bread for a hungry soul and water for the dry places of our life. But years of practicing medicine has also shown me there are times when depression needs more than a prayer and a scripture. There are times when falling on your knees must be paired with experienced counseling and appropriate medications to overcome the mental war raging within. This battle can be even more distressing when you are the pastor’s wife, the
Sunday school teacher, the prayer leader, or in any type of ministry.
Some biblical solutions sound so easy. Pray more. Spend more time in the word. Make quiet time with God a priority. If you are already overwhelmed, stressed, and weary this to-do list for stronger faith is just one more thing to feel you’ve failed at. So the cycle of defeat and weariness continues with no exit of this emotional rollercoaster ride. The collective echo through the pews can seem to taunt your very desire to regain you emotional equilibrium, “If you only had more faith you wouldn’t be depressed.”
It’s time to debunk the enemy’s lies about mental illness in the church. How much faith you possess (or lack) has nothing to do with clinical depression or
continued
any other type of mental illness. Your faith can help you in the healing process but it is not an aspect of the disease itself. There are levels of depression and the necessary treatment is dependent upon the severity of the symptoms. If any of the following sounds like you, speak to a medical professional to help you determine your best options for managing your depression
1. Situational Depression: When Life Gets You Lemons
This type of depression is sometimes called adjustment disorder. It is short periods of feeling down triggered by an event, such as the death of a loved one, job loss, a bad breakup, or emotional trauma. This type of depression can often be managed without medication because it improves as the shock of the event subsides. Symptoms can include excessive sadness, worry, or nervousness. If symptoms persist or begin interfering with your daily life, they may be warning signs of major depression.
2.Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder: When The Blues Hits Once A Month
“Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is a type of depression affecting 5 percent of women during their monthly menstrual cycle. Common symptoms include depression, anxiety, and mood swings but are much more severe than premenstrual syndrome (PMS), which affects up to 85 percent of women. PMDD is often disruptive to a woman’s relationships during this time of the month and interferes with her ability to function to her full capacity. Treatments include nutritional therapies, stress-reduction, counseling, and anti-depression medications.
3. Seasonal Affective Disorder: Winter-time Doldrums
Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) affects 4 to 6 percent of people in the United States, particularly those living in areas with very little sunlight during the winter season. The tell-tell symptoms of this disorders includes sadness, increased irritability, daytime fatigue, social withdrawal, and weight gain which occurs when the temperatures drop and improves when warmer weather returns in the Spring. This type of depression responds well to an increase in natural and artificial light. Early morning walks, sipping coffee or hot chocolate on the porch, or enjoying a midday bike ride can be effective at improving winter weariness in mild cases. More severe cases may require anti-depression
medications and counseling to manage symptoms.
4. Dysthymia: When Sadness Won’t Go Away
Dysthymia is a form of depression which results in a depressed mood over a long period of time, up to year or more. Women with this type of depression can function adequately, but not optimally. Symptoms include trouble concentrating, fatigue, changes in sleep habits (excessive sleep or inability to sleep), sadness, and changes in appetite (over or under eating). There is a lacking feeling of wellbeing, wellness, and joy within her life; but to those looking in from the outside all may seem well. Women with dysthymia are often the ones who fall through the treatment cracks because no one would know anything is wrong unless those suffering with this disorder make their feelings known. This is the classification of depression which responds best to verbal therapies including prayer, counseling, bible studies, and support groups. Those with dysthymia are at risk for progression to major depression and would then need a more aggressive treatment plan including medications.
5. Major Depression: When Hopelessness Become Debilitating
This is the most common form of depression. It affects up to 7 percent of the adult US population. If you have major depression, you may have feelings of hopelessness, extreme sadness, lack of energy, trouble concentrating, irritability, feelings of guilt, physical pain, changes in sleep or eating habits, and even thoughts of death or suicide. These debilitating symptoms must be present for longer than 2 weeks to be considered major depression. The medical consensus is that all major depression should be managed with anti-depressant therapy and closely monitored by a licensed professional. Additional therapies like prayer and counseling can be added but should not be considered a replacement to medical management. When given proper treatment, 80-90% of those with major depression can become free to fully enjoy life again.
DR. SAUNDRA DALTON-SMITH is an internal medicine physician, author, and speaker. She shares with audiences nationwide on the topics of eliminating limiting emotions, breaking free from mental bondage, and helps others see God’s plan for them to live free in Christ.
TRAIN YOUR BRAIN
BY KATHY COLLARD MILLER
“ THE CONCEPT ‘SHOW, DON’T
TELL’ IS ESSENTIAL FOR POWERFUL WRITING AND SPEAKING WHEN
YOU’RE SHARING A STORY. “ As I prepare a presentation, I use a technique I call “Brain Trainers” which builds a common thread through your speech.
These trainers help us remember key talking points and are little “hooks” that the audience can use to remember our words.
Here are some examples:
An acrostic. I use the acrostic “REACT” to share five principles for coping with stress: “R” stands for “ReAdjust goals;” “E:” Exercise; “A:” Attack Problem and Solve; “C:” Compromise; “T:” Turn Away (delegate). I can either use these five points as the wrap up challenge for a talk on stress or they can be the five main points of my talk.
Same letter starting each main point. When I give my talk on contentment, my main points are about possessions, problems, the physical body, and people.
Rhyming words. In my presentation giving five steps for constructively dealing with anger, I start each point with five rhyming words: realize, magnetize, recognize, analyze, verbalize.
Common phrases. These two are especially good brain trainers as the skeleton for a personal testimony: “yesterday, today, and tomorrow” or “past, present, future.”
At the end of your talk, review these main elements. You could even ask them to repeat the main points so that your important words will be cemented in their minds.
With “Brain Trainers,” I can give a talk at any time whether I knew about it or not. You never know when you’ll be called upon to substitute for someone else. Now you’ll be prepared.S
Excerpted from The Complete Guide to Writing Professionally by Kathy
Collard Miller, Copyright 2002, by Jubilant Press.
SERVING UP THANKS BY
PENELOPE CARLEVATO
“ THANKSGIVING IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AND WE BEGIN TO ANTICIPATE THE PUMPKIN AND APPLE INFUSED FOODS
WE TYPICALLY ENJOY ONLY IN THE FALL. ” For me, this is a time to reflect and remember all the blessings I have received during the past year. Cultivating a spirit of thankfulness gives honor to God and strengthens our faith, plus studies show that having a spirit of gratitude actually boosts our physical and emotional health.
Express your gratitude by creating this yummy and fall-inspired recipe for your family or friends. And, don’t neglect to tell others that you are thankful for them – it has a ripple effect and can have a huge impact on each of you.
“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord, my strength and redeemer,” Psalm 19:14 (NIV).
A crock pot, or slow cooker, is such a wonderful addition to any kitchen. This stew is so easy and every-
one in the household will enjoy. The apple cider gives this recipe a delightful taste. Serve with some crusty rolls and a green salad for a quick and nutritious fall dinner.
CROCKPOT CIDER STEW
1 1/2 to 2 pounds lean beef stew meat, cut into small cubes
8 carrots, sliced thin
6 medium potatoes, sliced thin
2 apples, chopped
2 teaspoons salt
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cups apple cider
Place carrots, potatoes, and apples in Crock Pot. Add meat and sprinkle with salt, thyme, and chopped onion. Pour cider over meat. Cover and cook on LOW heat for 8 to 10 hours. Thicken juices with a flour and cold water mixture (about 1 1/2 to 2 tablespoons flour and 2 tablespoons water), cooking on HIGH in slow cooker until thickened.
PENELOPE CARLEVATO is author of Tea on the Titanic. Find her online at www.penelopesteatime.com. S
FAITHPRINTS
of the opposite sex who is not a close family member. If I do have a meeting, it will be in a public place or with someone else present.
8. I will not pray with or privately counsel a member of the opposite sex who is not a close relative. I will leave the door open and plan for someone to be in an adjacent room.
9. I will not flirt in any way with a member of the opposite sex. (Except my hubby, and then watch the sparks!)
10. I absolutely will not discuss anything of a private sexual nature with a member of the opposite sex. I will not laugh at suggestive stories or jokes.
11. I will love and treat others as I wish to be treated, considering everyone as beloved by God regardless of their sexual orientation, social status, race, religion, criminal record, addiction, or lifestyle.
12. I am a servant, not a master. I wash feet, not stand on a pedestal.
13. I will not take money to pray for or with someone. Since I am not a trained counselor, I will not take money to counsel someone.
14. What someone tells me in confidence remains private unless he/she has committed a crime that by law I have to report.
15. I will not pretend to be perfect. But neither will I strip down to my emotional underwear for the purpose of attention.
16. I will be transparent and accountable. When I’m wrong or hurt, I’ll admit it. If I make a public mistake, I’ll admit it publicly.
17. I will be quick to apologize. I will seek restoration. 18. I will be scrupulously honest in any area that deals with money. I will take a loss rather than allow any suspicion of financial mishandling.
19. I will avoid personal habits (use of alcohol, smoking, gambling, etc.) that might cause others to sin.
20. I do not publicly discuss my own political views, but if someone asks privately, I will share my opinion.
21. Whether I am in public or private, I will be aware that I am a representative of Christ, and because He has entrusted me to teach His Word, my actions have greater repercussions.
REBEKAH BINKLEY MONTGOMERY is author of Faithprints. Find her online at www.rebekahmontgomery.com
BY KAREN WHITING
“ NO MATTER HOW RUSHED LIFE GETS, YOU SHOULD ALWAYS MAKE ROOM TO EXPRESS GRATITUDE. “
A grateful heart lifts your spirits and helps you cope better with stress and time crunches. Try these ideas:
Avoid doing everything and learn to delegate with gratitude. A simple, “I’d so appreciate your help with . . .” or “I need you to …” and add, “I know you are so capable that I thank God for such a great helper!”
Don’t overfill the calendar. Make room to be grateful. Schedule in time cushions to create little spare moments to recover, relax, or respond to the unexpected. When nothing unexpectedly fills those cushions, use them to thank God for the day and for quiet moments. Use the time to think of three reasons to be grateful.
Interruptions happen. One is unexpected, such as an emergency, and the other is quickly noted because it is a noisy distraction. Respond to both with a grateful heart. For interruptions, thank God that you are available and be grateful for your ability to help. For a disruption address the person with kindness. Express thanks that the individual wants your attention and schedule time to spend together.
Set aside an afternoon or other block of time to bless someone with your thanks. Take the person out for tea, spend time visiting, or plan an outing together that’s your treat. Let the person know it’s just because you are thankful to have her in your life.
Sprinkle thanks throughout the day. It only takes a few seconds or minutes to express gratitude. You can:
• Call or text a friend with a message of appreciation
• Make a special snack for a family member.
• Keep positive words close to your lips, so you can easily pass along an encouraging word.
• Be joyful and enthusiastic when you express thanks. You can even say, “My heart is jumping with joy because of your kindness.”
• Watch a sunrise/sunset and thank God for the day.
• Compliment someone.
• Be grateful for each item checked off your to-do list.
• Reframe a problem with a thought of thankfulness.
• Write and mail a thank-you card to someone who did something kind.’
• Begin a conversation with a smile.
• End conversations by thanking others for listening.
• End the day with reflecting on blessings received.
In making gratitude part of your daily life, you will fill your heart with thankfulness, and find that makes life more joyful and easier to face difficulties.
KAREN WHITING (www.karenwhiting.com) is an international speaker and award winning author of seventeen books. Check out her book: Secrets of Success for Women: Time for more time tips.
THE ROYAL LIFE
BY CANDY TOLBERT
A FEW YEARS AGO I LED A TEAM FOR A WEEK LONG MISSIONS
TRIP TO INDIA. “ Before we boarded our plane I took a moment to remind the women that we are guests in a foreign land, hosted by missionaries and others who sacrificed time and money to make our stay comfortable and worthwhile. We will leave our Americanism behind, I said, travel on a different time clock, struggle with a strange sounding language, and eat food placed before us with heartfelt gratitude. No complaining or whining allowed! Not on this trip. Why? Because we are women on a mission to serve and also because as Americans we have so much and yet take so much for granted.
It’s the unattractive side of our human nature I suppose. The side I see often as I root through my closet complaining that I have nothing to wear. Or the side I see as I gripe about the price of fresh asparagus and tomatoes in the supermarket. That is, until I take a moment to survey the long aisle of beautiful fruits and vegetables and think, What would someone from Ethiopia think of this extravagant produce section? But most of the time I’m too focused on my own expectations to remember the neediness of the rest of the world.
I am reminded again of a basic truth of human nature we all share — the more we have, the more we expect. The more we expect, the less grateful we are for what we have.
In Psalm 100, King David leads his people in true worship. They are to honor God with glad hearts and joyful songs. Not only are they to have a thankful attitude but they must say it aloud and “Give thanks.” David knows the real reasons for gratitude.
My own mom was my example of someone who practiced the art of gratitude. Growing up our family had a parade of people go through our home on Thanksgiving day.
Our table looked as if it had been transported from a church potluck just before “Grace” was said — totally covered with a huge turkey and bowls of good things just begging to be eaten. She was a great cook and regardless of the number of family and friends at our table, there was always a room for one more. She modeled for my brothers and me the importance of realizing that God has blessed most of us with more than we need and that we don’t have to wait for Thanksgiving to express our gratitude.
“ GOD HAS BLESSED MOST OF US WITH MORE THAN WE NEED AND THAT WE DON’T HAVE TO WAIT FOR THANKSGIVING TO EXPRESS OUR GRATITUDE.“
As we gather around our own holiday tables again this year, let’s do more than pay lip service to being thankful. Like David, let’s make thankfulness a habit and fill our thoughts with things, big and small, for which we can give thanks. Let’s go on a mental diet together, avoiding the whining and complaining that drains our spirit. Genuine thanksgiving can be celebrated every day by the people of God! Say it aloud. He will bless us above and beyond our needs.
CANDY TOLBERT is a published writer and public speaker at women’s and leadership events across the country.
FINGERPRINTS OF JOY
BY LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD
“ MY DISABLED DAUGHTER LAURA HAS NO FINGERPRINTS. “
That’s because in order to have fingerprints, you must have busy hands. Laura’s hands are warm to touch, but have little movement due to the paralysis she received upon being injured in a car accident when she was only eighteen months old. Still her hands are far from useless as I find that they are perfect for holding. Clasping my fingers around one of Laura’s warm hands often brings a smile to her face, a smile I love to receive, a smile I reflect back to her. But when I hold her small, misshapen hands, I feel as though I’m holding love itself, a love so pure it brings tears to my eyes. And you would think that with all the many difficulties my daughter must daily face, she would be devastated by her condition. Yet, my daughter never complains, instead she sings – happy, wordless songs of praise to a God she knows and loves. She sings out of the joy of her heart.
Thursday afternoons are special as a dear friend, Karis, stops by to give my daughter a fresh coat of colorful nail polish, decorating Laura’s nails with swiggles, bright colors, stickers and designs. Though Laura can’t raise her hands to admire her nails, she still loves to have a new coat of polish. She also loves it when we lift her arms, bringing her hands to her face. That’s when a little miracle happens— Laura extends her fingers so to look at her nails as she giggles in delight.
I’m always amazed by Laura’s joy; a joy she gladly shares to all in her life. She has a heart that sings when we play hymns of praise, a heart that ushers in the holy presence of God.
How I want to live like that—always in the presence of God; never mind my disabilities, my lack, my frustrations, or my fears. Never mind because God is near and my trust in him is complete.
So in other words, Laura has taught me to strive to be like her; to not only continually invite God into every area of my life, but to thank God for his many blessings.
Does Laura have blessings? Yes, she answers God’s highest call which is to love and to be loved. No wonder she is so filled with joy.
But what about you? Did you know that despite your influence on her development. She can hear incredible difficulties, you can find joy when you count your blessings? It’s the best shortcut to happiness that I know. Let’s try it:
Dear Lord,
In all the stress and busyness of the season, help me to open my eyes to your goodness toward me. Turn on your light of truth so that I can see your great love, your patience and your presence in my life. In fact, I want to stop and thank you now for several things that you’ve done for me, including: (list your blessings here before God.)
Thank you.
In Jesus name, Amen
If you were having trouble thinking of blessings, then be glad that you had the opportunity to enjoy this article, or have access to a device on which you could view it. If you open your eyes, you’ll see that even though you have troubles and stressors, you also have blessings. Stop and focus on those and you’ll have no trouble greeting not only the season, but your life with joy.
Story adapted from Linda Evans Shepherd’s latest book, The Stress Cure Praying Your Way to Personal Peace from Baker Revell. See: www.GotToPray.com for more information.
STUFFED WITH THANKFULNESS BY
RHONDA RHEA
“
I ALWAYS SEEM TO HAVE AT
LEAST ONE PAIR OF JEANS THAT I HAVE TO REFER TO AS “BREATHING OPTIONAL.
”
When my children were younger, I remember wearing a pair of the death jeans more than once and having to instruct the kids with something like, “Okay now if Mommy passes out, nevermind the CPR. Unbutton the jeans.”
I would’ve been wise to add the warning, “And do not look directly at the top button.” One bad thread and that thing could launch. I’m telling you, someone could lose an eye. I’m thankful every time I wear the danger-jeans without any incidents of unconsciousness or assorted maimings. So hey, I guess if nothing else, at least the jeans do prompt thankfulness.
It can’t help but to “pop out.”
Thanks-prompting is such an integral part of life. It’s a big part of our parenting lives for sure. My children are all now in their twenties, but I wonder how many times through the years I said the words, “What do you say?” in that sing-song motherly voice. Like a teleprompter only with audio.
IF YOU’RE A PARENT AND YOU’RE WONDERING IF YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO PROMPT YOUR KIDS FOREVER, I’M SORRY, BUT THE ANSWER IS, “YES.”
Just for fun I asked one of my twenty-somethings the other day, “What’s the magic word?” Know what the answer was? “Abracadabra.” I so should’ve prompted more often.
Ever find your personal worship time feeling a little trivial—not as joy-filled—but you can’t put your finger on why? Maybe a thanks prompt is in order there too. Sometimes in those times of listlessness we discover that we’ve neglected that important part of entering into worship.
In Psalm 100:4, the psalmist gives us some “keys to the gates” of worship, so to speak. We’re told to enter His gates with thanksgiving. He’s referring to the gates of the temple that represented God’s high and holy pres-
ence. The people were to enter into the presence of their holy God through the gates “with thanksgiving.” Again, Psalm 95:2 says, “Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving,” ESV.
Thanksgiving can open a door that leads us into deeper, more genuine worship. As we give thanks to God, we remember His faithfulness, His love, His provision and so much more.
Through thanking Him, we find our focus moving from the things we think we need or the things we want God to do to a simple place of relishing what He’s already done and recognizing areas where He’s already so graciously at work. We’re moved to love and adore Him all the more.
EXTRAORDINARY THINGS HAPPEN IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD THROUGH OUR THANKSGIVING.
So let’s allow the season be about more than just eating a boatload of turkey and even more pumpkin pie. We can let it remind us of His presence and the privilege and power in thanksgiving. There’s sweet worship there.
And when we focus on making thankfulness a habit, we will find that it pops out of our mouths at the most unexpected times, and even reminds others what they can be thankful for too.
Incidentally, the whole turkey and pumpkin pie thing does nothing good for the jean situation. I would sigh heavily about it but I might launch a button.
RHONDA RHEA Is an author, humor columnist and radio personality. She lives in the St. Louis area with her pastor-hubs and has five grown children. Find her online at www.rhondarhea.com.
BOOK REVIEWS
BY MARILYN LUCE ROBERTSON
RATING: 5 OUT OF 5
THE DUCK COMMANDER FAITH & FAMILY BIBLE
by Hal & Al Robertson
Drawing on combined 60 years of studying the Bible, Phil and Al Robertson of Duck Dynasty fame, “shoot straight” about relevant, everyday topics like love, grace, divorce, money, parenting, temptation, and much more in the New King James Duck Commander Faith and Family Bible. Offering 125 articles on personal issues and 30 days of first-hand, life-changing testimonials, Phil and Al (a pastor for 22 years) also share life applications and reading plans as insight for how God works in peoples’ lives regardless of circumstance. Based on the core values of Faith, Family, Fellowship, Forgiveness, and Freedom, the Robertson offer their trademark warm, personable wit and wisdom on biblical principles and how everyday people can apply them to their lives.
RATING: 5 OUT OF 5
RATING: 5 OUT OF 5 STARS
THE STRESS CURE
by Linda Evans Shepherd
In The Stress Cure, by Linda Evans Sheperd, readers discover the life-changing liberty of God’s peace in the midst of today’s chaotic onslaught of stressful situations. By highlighting numerous types of personal triggers, such as feeling frustrated, offended, anxious, hopeless or depressed, Linda warmly and eloquently responds with the story of peace. Replete with biblical encounters, Scripture, prayers, study questions and personal insights, The Stress Cure is an antidote for those of us trying to balance it all on our own.
ONE MORE TRY
by Gary Chapman
In One More Try, New York Times bestselling author Gary Chapman offers experiential advice to couples who are working to salvage their at-risk marriage. With real-life stories, biblical insight, and decades of experience in marital counseling, Chapman delivers practical, reasonable and realistic steps toward a healthy marriage. Not only an enlightening read, One More Try includes growth assignments, and areas for personal reflection designed to help “rebuild your marriage from the ground up.”
MUSIC REVIEWS BY HEATHER VAN ALLEN
AARON SHUST
Unto Us
Aaron Shust’s first Christmas album “Unto Us” (released October 14),blends the sacred with the modern, the album brings the listener to the joyous moment of Christ’s birth, and allows us to worship as we receive God’s great gift of grace. Backing Aaron’s vocals on several of the tracks is the powerful sound of the Prague Symphony Orchestra, which he recorded during a trip to the Czech Republic.
The traditional isn’t completely absent from “Unto Us,” as the album includes tracks such as, “Bethlehem” (“Oh, little town…”), “Rejoice” (“Good Christian men…”) and “Go Tell It.” However, every note, every refrain, bears Aaron’s innovative mark to, as Aaron says, “…give people something familiar, yet also to gift them with something else, a new experience.”
RATING: 4 OUT OF 5
MICHAEL W. SMITH & FRIENDS
The Spirit of Christmas
With “The Spirit of Christmas,” Michael W. Smith is joined by an all-star lineup of guests—Vince Gill, Lady Antebellum, Little Big Town, Martina McBride, Amy Grant, Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Nettles, Bono and Michael McDonald.
The album with classic tunes such as, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” and “Happy Holiday.s” The latter half, weaves in original songs, to reinforce the blessing of family and the true meaning of Christmas. In a particularly sweet moment, Michael’s granddaughter joins in on “Somewhere in My Memory” (from the movie, “Home Alone”). “The Spirit of Christmas,” is definitely worth adding to your holiday music collection.
RATING: 4 1/2 OUT OF 5
LISA TROYER & DAWN YODER
It’s Christmas Time—Macchiato Moments
Celebrate the Christmas season with music from songwriters Lisa Troyer and Dawn Yoder, of Circle of Friends. With tracks available to stream (and a few to download) on Sound Cloud (merrychristmassongs.com), their most recent addition, “Without You Near Me (It’s a Bleak Midwinter),” is a song, inspired by fiction author Tricia Goyer’s book Where Treetops Glisten. The song reminds us what it’s like for those with loved ones who cannot be home for the holidays. With a sort of country/pop beat, it offers a note of empathy for those with family members who are far away serving in the military or for some other reason. Updated arrangements of a few classic carols and originals combine to make a music package bursting with Christmas spirit.
RATING: 4 OUT OF 5
THE HEART OF THANKSGIVING BY SHARON NORRIS ELLIOTT
“ I LOVE THANKSGIVING “ It’s a day set aside originally to commemorate the thankfulness felt by the Pilgrims who first came to our shores. They braved the elements and survived a harsh winter, thanks to the help of the Native Americans.
Little did they know that their first settlement would be the ancestor of the beautiful nation we know today. All they knew was that God deserved thanks for getting them through these harsh circumstances.
God’s fingerprints continued to be all over the development of the U.S.A., right down to the underlying purpose of its reason for existence and pronouncement of its freedom mentioned in the Declaration of Independence: When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America… appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world… do… solemnly publish and declare, That these united Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States... And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.
“God deserves our thanks; after all. Psalm 100:4-5 (NIV) reminds us to “enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.”
Still sometimes, problems overwhelm us to the point that we just don’t feel like being very grateful to God. In fact, we feel like hypocrites saying the word - continued -
“thanks” when everything is upside-down in our lives. At times like these, although it’s hard, we must remember that God has not changed. He’s still the good, ever-loving, and faithful God He’s always been.
Our situation may change, but God does not. In hours of despair, thanksgiving is a choice and the gateway to our deliverance. The psalmist determined what we must resolve as well, “I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD” Psalm 116:17 (NIV).
A sacrifice requires a slaughter. To “sacrifice a thank offering” means we must kill our negative feelings about our circumstances and about God, and come to Him giving thanks anyway.
Paul lets us know how to approach God and what He will do when we draw near to Him with thankfulness. He writes, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:6-7 (NIV).
Wherever you are in the world, it may not be the American holiday, but it’s certainly another day in which to give God thanks, so Happy Thanksgiving!
SHARON NORRIS ELLIOTT’S engaging yet challenging messages touch the hearts and tickle the funny-bones of her audiences, making her a popular, sought-after speaker. She and her husband James are enjoying their empty nest in Southern California.
