Imbue #1

YOUNG WOMEN MAKING MEDIA

BUDDING

issue #1: budding ӋEғGѱƾ That buds; in bud, sprouting.

“Let us not go hurrying about and collecting honey, beelike buzzing here and there for a knowledge of what is not to be arrived at, but let us open our leaves like a flower, and be passive and receptive, budding patiently under the eye of Apollo.”

- John Keats

contents

the basics

this issue

ed’s letter

pg. 06

high rotation

pg. 07

moodboard

pg. 08

musings

pg. 10

elephant in the room

pg. 42

keep afloat

pg. 12

brave hearts

pg. 18

concrete jungle

pg. 24

know yourself

pg. 26

green queen

pg. 28

feeling blue

pg. 30

eyes wide shut

pg. 34

pillow talk

pg. 38

#selfielove

pg. 48

whenever you see this icon, scan the QR code for more content!

editor’s letter

Hello and welcome to the premiere issue of IMBUE, a hybrid magazine/zine designed to inspire creativity and innovation in young women aged primarily 18-25, although I hope to inspire all women. We aim not to alienate readers with academic jargon and hard-to-digest theories—but to instill understanding, respect and inspiration in engaging readers with hought-provoking content, while still keeping in the fun stuff.

Here at Imbue, we like to mix things up a little to keep it interesting, which is why we present a range of different content, no two pages being the same. Variety is the spice of life—we want present the same content through a fresh perspective.

With this being the first issue, it seems only fitting to liken its blossoming journey to the process of ‘budding’; from the bud to the bloom. We also liked it as it tied into the theme of Spring, which is the current season we are created in!

Our motto, READ, SEE, SEEK, DO is a call to action for our readers, helping all of you to take greater care in noticing the the spheres of space you inhabit and how you interact within these spheres.

Hope you enjoy issue #1!

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high rotation

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B E YO N C É

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A GL I M PSE OF OU R I NSPI R AT ION WA L L

F K A T W IG S

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SEE ME EAT

I AM WOMAN

keep afloat

A GU I LT-F R E E E AT I NG M A N I F E STO • 12

There seems to be a disturbing trend circulating–the policing of women eating in public. The normalisation of this bizarre belief that a woman’s choice of lunch is a public matter is exacerbated by its reflection in the media. So many headlines in trashy women’s magazines are beating down female celebrities who dare to eat in public. They plaster photos of them putting food into their mouths, with accompanying headlines reading “Pregnant Kim Kardashian succumbs to cravings and gorges on burger and chips” or “Not a model meal” about Helena Christensen.

The choice of language used in said articles drips with the implicit greed of the women–Christensen “feasts”, Kardashian “gorges”. The close connections with body shaming are there too–the Mail solemnly warns that Christensen “had better be careful with her eating habits in the future” in case she ruins her model figure (reminder: she ate a sandwich). And in case we weren’t all completely clear that attracting men is a woman’s sole function, and that it’s only our bodies men are interested in, it even continues: “She could end up losing the famous 35-24-35 measurements that have made her the toast of men everywhere. Basically, woman eats a sandwich, woman gets fat and woman gets dumped.

I’ve seen many advertisements make light of this strange notion that women in the public sphere should not be eating a big meal and I ask, why? Why should women fear ridiculing by others when eating in public? It isn’t right, or normal.

Maybe women eating publicly reminds some people that they are not just there for decoration, making some uncomfortable with this fact.

Comments such as ‘Are you actually eating ALL of that?’ or ‘Not too many chips, now!’ to actual anger are reactions that have emerged from the simple, harmless act of food consumption.

It is almost as if certain people consider the act of eating to be a male characteristic, rather that it just being a basic nonspecific act, which it of course is.

It is high time that girls and women of the world stop apologising for wanting and craving “bad” foods, or food in larger quantities that some might consider too much for a female-sized stomach to handle.

You see it everywhere—every café, every restaurant, every kitchen across the country. Women bargaining with waiters and friends about whether or not they should get a side salad or fries with their

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entrée. Women making demeaning jokes to one another about their desire for food, like “Once on the lips, forever on the hips” and “Well, it’s midnight, so technically your body doesn’t know whether it’s today or tomorrow, so the calories zero themselves out, hahaha” and women bonding with one another over their shared guilt! You’re being bad and getting the chocolate cake?

Ooh, now that you’re doing it, let’s both be really bad, and I’ll order the chocolate Danish and we won’t tell a soul, will we? Just between us girls!

Why are we apologizing for wanting food? What the hell? BODIES NEED FOOD. WE DIE WITHOUT IT. Food tastes good! And we’re programmed to crave it! Sure, some food is healthier than other food, but what is up with punishing ourselves for wanting pickle chips? Why is it

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acceptable—nay! encouraged!—in our culture for women to feel guilty and publicly “admit” our guilt for wanting to eat a cookie? Why are we rationalizing our “bad behaviour”— you know, our EATING—with statements like “I’ve been really good lately” or “I’m gonna need to walk this off later”?

I want women to allow themselves to want food. I want women to be hungry and ask for what they want to eat without apologizing.

I want women to stop looking for permission from others before they eat something that is not a carrot or spinach. I want my friends to get the chili fries if they want the chili fries, and not say something like,

“It all goes straight to my (insert random body part here)”. I want to see a girl sink her teeth into a huge cheeseburger and fries and not cut the burger in half to save some for later. I want my mother to allow herself more than one small square of dark chocolate per day. I want women to take pleasure in food, without punishing ourselves for wanting it.

and bodies of other women without feeling bad for doing so–after all, it’s all in the name of fun.

I only hope that one day, women will be able to eat in the public domain without criticism or contempt via others. Maybe someday people will come to realise that yes, women are human beings too and also need to eat to live–fun fact!

There is an Instagram account that has come to popularity of late, titled YOU DID NOT EAT THAT, which takes photos posted on the photosharing platform of women holding food which would be considered unhealthy or too large for a serving size (in contrast to the woman holding the foodstuff), calling them out as not actually eating it–just using it as a prop.

While I can see the humorous side to this account, I also see the negativity to it–it’s almost a form of body-shaming–making assumptions about the woman in the image (she’s thin, with model-like features)–and using her appearance as a measure for what her diet would consist of (salads, quinoa, chia seeds–the usual foods associated with those aiming to eat healthily).

Why should it be of anyone’s interest whether a women ate or didn’t eat the food she has taken of photo of herself with? While the creator has stated she intended it to be a bit of fun, it is providing a platform for others (mainly women) to judge each other and critique both the diets • 15

YOU C A N H AV E YOU R C A K E

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A N D E AT I T TOO.

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Each issue, we’ll compile a list of our favourite gamechanging females from the past, to inspire you to challenge yourself and the world around you.

B A DA S S H IS TOR IC A L F E M M E S

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Reasons why I love POCAHONTAS: She saved John Smith before he was about to be killed at the hands of her dad, Powhatan (or so the story goes).

Her union with John Rolfe brought peace between the Native Americans and the settlers for eight years.

She was treated like a princess upon her visit to England.

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Reasons why I love ANNE BOLEYN: She was a woman that knew what she wanted and would stop at nothing to achieve her goals, so she pretty much got her way in life (despite her untimely ending).

She had style and a flair for fashion - her time in France allowed her to acquire a taste for beautiful and elegant clothing.

Anne wasn’t an easy lover - she had a sharp wit and proved to be a challenge for the overtly pompous and spoilt Henry VIII.

Reasons why I love ANNE BONNY: Like Mary Read, she was a badass female pirate during the eighteenth century, when piracy was super trendy.

Read and Bonny were like soul sisters-kindred spirits that were initially attracted to one another until they reveal they were both women.

She seriously beat-up a wouldbe rapist; “…once, when a young Fellow would have lain with her, against her Will, she beat him so, that he lay ill of it a considerable Time.” (Johnson, 164). Clearly she wasn’t about to do anything she didn’t wanted and stood up well for herself. YOU GO GIRLFRIEND. Also used pregnancy as a “condition” to escape prison.

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Reasons why I love BOUDICCA: She was a fierce warrior lady.

Reasons why I love CECILY NEVILLE:

She was a strong ruler and ruled over her Iceni tribe when her husband passed away.

She was dubbed ‘Rose of Raby’ and ‘Proud Cis’ because of her pride and temper.

She was defiant until the very end, she committed suicide by poisoning - she wasn’t about to let those dastardly Romans take her alive. (though this fact isn’t completely set in stone, it’s still a good example of her sacrifices for the betterment of her people).

She was a SURVIVOR of her time, outliving her husband as well as eleven of the thirteen children she conceived during her lifetime. In a time where it wasn’t easy to live due to the numerous civil wars, plus being a woman, that’s no small feat.

She was almost forgotten from history, but regained fame during the Victorian times as a result of Queen Victoria’s want to be associated with a she-warrior so brave and stubborn.

She had poetry written about her

by Lord Alfred Tennyson.

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Reasons why I love CLEOPATRA: She wasn’t going to let anything prevent her from becoming supreme ruler over Egypt, and that included members of her family - she was determined.

She was an intelligent woman with plenty of charisma to punch.

She knew how to get want she wanted and that included Julius Caesar and Mark Antony.

She was the last ever pharaoh of Egypt before its collapse. The fact that she was a lady pharaoh is an added bonus.

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Reasons why I love QUEEN ELIZABETH (THE VIRGIN QUEEN): She wasn’t the Virgin Queen for no reason - she produced no offspring and wasn’t about to let marriage tie her down! She was a woman that ruled in solidarity and she did it pretty darn well.

She considered herself married to her country of England.

For the speech she gave to the Spanish Armada in 1588- “I know I have the body of a weak, feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king - and of a King of England too...I myself will take up arms - I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field... we shall shortly have a famous victory over the enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.”

Reasons why I love ELEANOR OF AQUITANE: She had a powerful personality.

She led her sons in rebellion against their own father - so she was quite a bad-ass.

She cared about arts and culture - a patron of music (troubadours), chivalry, art - my type of lady.

Reasons why I love HATSHEPSUT: She was a woman in a man’s role and even going so far as to wear the traditional men’s headdress and detachable beard, in order to assert her authoritarian position.

She meant business.

She was one of the two successful female pharaohs in Ancient Egypt, so clearly she was doing something right to stay in power (she remained in power for fifteen years, quite a long time for that age, really).

Her mortuary temple is the only one of its kind in Ancient Egypt.

She was pretty special.

She was intelligent politically and recruited many supporters during her reign.

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CONCR ET E

J U NGL E CI T Y L I V I NG VS . L I V I NG PL A N TS

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One of the most frustrating things about living in a city or highly urbanised environment is the experience of disconnect from your food sources.

Being cut off from nature is also another downside. I often find myself seeking refuge from the sprawling urban environment by immersing myself in another sprawling environment of a different nature–the Botanic Gardens. It’s the closest thing I have to a garden of my own.

However, plant-lovers who are city-dwellers, there is hope. Here are 5 plants which are tough enough to sustain life in small, urban spaces. If you have space for a garden but don’t have time to upkeep one, these plants are also good for you too.

of my own apartment.

It has a sculptural appearance, adds a bit of green, and seems to thrive on neglect.

S PI DE R PL A N T (Chlorophytum Comosum)

LUC K Y B A M B O O (Dracaena Sanderiana)

Adaptable bamboo is a great fit for dim rooms, and is inexpensive and easy to come across.

PE AC E L I L LY (Spathiphyllum Wallisii)

A popular houseplant when I was growing up, these interesting plants self propagate by sending out off-shoots, do well when their roots are crowded, and can thrive in low light conditions.

Z Z PL A N T (Zamioculcas zamiifolia)

Known as a great plant for improving indoor air quality, the Peace Lilly is also one of the few low-light friendly options that produces flowers.

S NA K E PL A N T (Sansevieria Trifasciata)

This is my favourite pick for the darker corners

A hardy plant that can tolerate both low light and watering neglect, the ZZ plant is great for those with a less than green thumb.

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KNOW

Alarming statistics have been recently released stating that half of young British women don’t understand the basic anatomy of their vaginas.

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1.

2.

3.

5.

YOURSELF

4.

Out of 1,000 women surveyed, just half of those aged 26 to 35 could locate the vagina on a medical drawing of the female reproductive system. So, how well do you know your own reproductive system?

1. labia minora. 2. labia majora. 3. clitoris 4. external urethral opening 5. vagina • 27

A TERRARIUM is basically a miniature ecosystem of plants, usually contained within glass.

The best thing about them is that they don’t need to be expensive or fancy, they can be made from the simplest of materials, even an old pickle jar! Their lowmaintenance makes them the perfect way for time-poor or apartment-living city-slickers to reconnect with nature.

O R IG I N S The invention of the terrarium in the modern sense is credited to Nathaniel Ward–a London doctor–in 1827. Dr. Ward built a fern rockery in his backyard, but the ferns kept dying, poisoned by the fumes from the city’s factories. Ward was also studying moths and caterpillars and, while experimenting with a cocoon in a covered jar for observation, he noticed that several plants had grown in the bit of soil at the bottom of the jar. Among the bottled plants was a fern and, unlike the ferns in his garden, it looked healthy;

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Dr. Ward concluded that plants could flourish in London if they could be protected from the city’s polluted air. Ward pursued his discovery in miniature greenhouses, which he named fern cases, and which are now known as Wardian cases or terrariums.

M AT E R I A L S The container–use something that is unique as it is one of the most important parts of the terrarium. Be creative!

3,5,or 7 plants (this odd numbered arrangement tends to be more interesting than even numbered arrangements)–the plants you choose are important

HOW TO M A K E A SI M PL E T E R R A R I U M 1 bag of potting soil 1 small bag of stones for the bottom of the terrarium (You can pick small stones the size of marbles from your backyard and save a bit of money here).

MAKE IT! I.

Put a one inch layer of stones in the bottom of your terrarium

II. Fill the container about half full of potting soil III. Remove the plants from their plastic pots and arrange them in your terrarium. Move this arrangement around looking for something that pleases you.

IV. Once you have found an arrangement you like fill the rest of the container with potting soil and gently tap it down so it is firm and the plants are supported.

V. Water with a moderate amount of water.

VI. Put the terrarium in a place with moderate or occasional sunlight

S H OW I T S OM E

for. Check on it every day and stick your finger in the soil. If it is dry then water it. Examine the bottom of the terrarium. If there is water among the stones then you should not water it for a few days.

PLA NTS TO USE A comprehensive list of terrarium-appropriate plants can be found here: http:// www.thegardenhelper.com/ terrarium~plants.html T O UG H E N U P !

You can add a step to this whole process. When at the Store purchase a bag of something called Spaghnum Moss, (Or Spanish Moss) This is a stringy material. After you put your drainage rocks in the terrarium put a one-inch thick layer of the moss as if it were a carpet covering the rocks. Then add your soil. What this does is prevent the soil from slowly over time draining down into the rocks. It will keep the roots of your plants drier and healthier.

A terrarium is really easy to care • 29

The past summer has be particularly hot and dry. There has not been as much yard work to do this year, as nothing seemed to be growing.

Plants are dry and spindly; grass is brown and prickly. Our town even had to impose a “sprinkling ban” to help conserve water to ensure enough water would be available in the event of a fire. As I looked out into my backyard this past weekend, I felt a little sad. The plants all looked neglected, as though they had been leftovers from a year that had long passed.

As I scanned the yard, I noticed a few green things that still seemed pretty healthy. Green stems with sharp prickly leaves poked their heads out in the middle of the lawn.

The flower beds had plants with wide, velvety leaves spilling over the borders of garden. The plants that would have normally been pulled or cut down were still flourishing; in fact, because of the lack of attention

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they were receiving, they were the only things that did seem to be growing.

These plants that were hearty enough to survive the hot summer were the weeds.

Our minds are very much like a garden. Just as seeds grow, so do our thoughts. When we think of our thoughts as seeds and our rooted beliefs as established plants in our garden, the connection is easily made.

If we do not properly water and care for our garden, newly sprouting seeds will die. The positive thoughts we planted will start to wilt when not tended to, and the thoughts that we do not want are left to grow wildly, just like weeds. Regardless of the hot temperature and dry soil, the weeds were strong, as their roots had burrowed deep within the earth and were holding on tightly.

Negative thoughts can grow like weeds. As we plant the garden of our mind, we must select thoughts that will grow into beautiful flowers. We prepare the soil by taking care of our

work

universit y

home

fears

guilt

insomnia

CU LT I VAT I NG P OSI T I V I T Y • 31

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Negative thoughts can grow like weeds. As we plant the garden of our mind, we must select thoughts that will grow into beautiful flowers.

We prepare the soil by taking care of our bodies. Good nutrition, adequate sleep, fresh air and exercise all contribute to a healthy garden. Meditating is another way to create fertile soil. When we learn to relax our minds, we become more aware of our thoughts and we have more control over which thoughts get planted into our garden. When we notice a thought spouting in our garden that we do not want, we need to remove it, just as we would pull the unwanted weeds when they begin to grow.

The plants and flowers that make the garden of our mind beautiful are the positive thoughts we nurture and help to grow. Just like plants grow and multiply, so do our positive thoughts. When we provide the plants with sunshine and water, they will grow strong and tall. Buds will begin to form next to the green leaves, and before long, flowers will bloom to fill our garden with brilliant colours and intoxicating smells.

Some people like to decorate their gardens with little gnomes, pinwheels and welcome signs, while others prefer a simple, clean, manicured look. It doesn’t matter how you landscape your garden, as long as it makes you happy.

How someone else decides to decorate their garden is not our concern, because as long as we feel

good about our own garden, we can be happy. Tolerance of other people’s gardens saves us valuable gardening time in our own garden, and we can share seeds with other gardeners and hope that through our sharing their garden can make them as happy as we are by ours.

By spreading beauty in the world, we can help make the world a beautiful place. We would never want to intentionally plant weeds in someone else’s garden, so it is important to be conscious of any negative thoughts or words that we share with others. Just like randomly blowing the fuzzy seeds of a dandelion into the wind, negativity can quietly take root and grow if we are not careful.

Our garden is where we can find peace and tranquillity, but it does take some work. We will get dirty, and sometimes we may get blisters on our hands from digging, but when the work is done, our garden is a place where we can relax and find joy. That peace and joy is what makes the work so important, and also what makes our minds such beautiful places. Be selective with what you plant into your garden, and be sure to water it frequently. When we feel good, we grow positive seedlings to plant in our garden, and we want to be prepared if ever a dry summer comes.

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Dreams are always out of reach—or are they? LUCID DREAMING is the phenomenon occurring when one is aware that one is dreaming. In relation to this phenomenon, Greek philosopher Aristotle observed: “often when one is asleep, there is something in consciousness which declares that what then presents itself is but a dream”.

R EA LIT Y CHECK In dreams, you might have a headless man chasing you or the clock on your night stand might just be letters and ampersands.

If you routinely check whether you’re dreaming while you’re awake (I do it every time I pass through a doorway), then you’ll be more likely to realize you’re dreaming when you’re asleep. Most everyone dreams each and every night, it’s just that often we don’t recognize we’re dreaming and we don’t register it as anything important. If you’re used to checking whether the people around you have all turned into half-zebras during the day then you’ll be more likely to notice

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something’s awry when you’re asleep.

Once you know you’re dreaming, then the fun can begin.

D R E A M JOU R N A L So as not to forget your dreams and to facilitate a keener memory in the future, you should start keeping a dream journal. Think about how many mornings you wake up, roll over, maybe grab your phone, and start thinking about the day ahead. Stop that. If you remain still immediately after waking up and think through your dreams, you’ll be able to mentally record them, write them down, and then recognize dreams when they’re actually happening (leading to a lucid dream).

M E DI TAT IO N 101 Train yourself to stay in a dream state for longer by meditating during the day.

You’re less likely to be jostled out of a lucid dream by changes in your real-life surroundings (e.g. light changes, noise,

S TAY I N T H E DR E A M S TAT E

wind from fans, etc.) if you practice staying in this state during the day.

TIMING Dr. Stephen LaBerge, a neuroscientist and lucid dream researcher at Stanford, recommends intentionally waking yourself up in the middle of the night, telling yourself that in ten minutes you will lucid dream, then going back to sleep.

The idea is to blur the line between sleep and real life so that your mind allows you to enter a lucid dreaming state. Ideally, you’ll have a lot of time and can wake up early at, say, 7 a.m., hit the snooze button, fall back into a lucid dream, awake with another alarm, and fall back asleep again. Reality and dreams will morph together so your mind can stay aware that it’s dreaming.

G. Scott Sparrow, a clinical psychologist and author of Lucid Dreaming: Dawning of the Clear Light, suggests looking at your hands to stabilize yourself once you’ve begun dreaming.

Sparrow writes, “…I walk on down the street. It is night; and as I look up at the sky I am astounded by the clarity of the stars. They seem so close. At this point I become lucid.

The dream ‘shakes’ momentarily.

Immediately I look down at the ground and concentrate on solidifying the image and remaining in the dreamscape. Then I realize that if I turn my attention to the pole star above my head, the dream image will further stabilize itself. I do this; until gradually the clarity of the stars returns in its fullness.”

You could rub your hands together so you don’t start to concentrate on the fact that you’re sleeping and lying in bed, which could wake you out of your dream state. You can do anything though, as long as it further immerses you in the dream state. ~ SWEET DREAMS! ~ • 35

A L L T H AT W E SE E OR SE E M IS BU T

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A DR E A M W I T H I N A DR E A M

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T H E V I RGI N I T Y CONCE P T

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After doing some research and reading the opinions of others, I’ve decided that the term VIRGIN and its associated term VIRGINITY are quite useless in present-day society. The words aren’t progressive and hinder perspectives of women. I myself would be considered a virgin in the traditional sense (no penis-to-vagina penetration), as well as a virgin in other sexual acts. I suppose I would be considered a rarity, or mythical (much like a unicorn!). But I don’t consider this a defining characteristic of my being, nor should it be a defining characteristic in any other woman.

The origin of the word “virgin.” The archaic definition simply meant “an unmarried woman,” and had nothing to do with sex. Over time, it grew into our modern concept because rigidly structured patriarchal societies wanted to know which kids had what father, and thus had to restrict women to one malelover. The modern sense of “virgin,” as defined by the Oxford American Dictionary and Thesaurus, is “a person (esp. a woman) who has never had sexual intercourse.” This definition then begs the question “what counts as sexual intercourse?”.

Our good friend Oxford says it’s “the insertion of a man’s erect penis into a woman’s vagina, usu. followed by the ejaculation of semen.”

Historically, virginity is defined differently in cultural contexts.

The Ancient Romans created the position of Vestal Virgins, who were

priestesses chosen between the ages of six to ten years by the chief priest. They were required to serve for 30 years and have their hymens kept intact, or be buried alive (sweet deal)!

Virginity is a concept, invented by humans–in specific, men. A virgin is traditionally a woman, and—with the given definition of intercourse—her virginal state would rest completely on a man. The “virgin” concept then promotes the idea of men controlling the sexual state of a woman’s body, and of a woman having little to no power in her own sexuality. While I can see why certain nefarious sorts found this concept appealing back in the day, I think most guys and gals in the present find such an idea repugnant, and would like to see it eradicated as soon as possible.

But while the concept of a woman’s body being under the control of a man is something that should be left in history, we might ask why we need to rid the word “virgin” from our vocabulary. Even if “virgin” traditionally referred to a woman, it can now be applied to a man.

Why not just change what “sexual intercourse” means as well?

I agree with that, to a point. “Sexual intercourse” isn’t a term that should only apply to erect penises in vaginas, usually followed by the ejaculation of semen. After all, lesbians, gays, and transgendered people have sexual intercourse without all the above criteria. A woman who’s slept with forty other women (but not one man) • 39

certainly isn’t a virgin, despite having no erect penises in her experience.

But then the question remains: what does count as sex? Is someone still a virgin if they’ve performed oral sex, or have had oral sex performed on them? What about anal sex? Would two seventeen-year-olds who’ve done mutual masturbation still get to keep their chastity rings? How about dry-humping? Are you a virgin if you keep your clothes on, but you lose it if you take them off? What if I give a guy a hand job—am I still pure?

As we can see, trying to put an exact definition on “sex” just opens a can of worms we really don’t want to sort through. And the primary importance of defining what exactly counts as sex is so we can determine whether or not someone is a virgin. What I want to know is, why care? If it isn’t affecting you, then it shouldn’t bother you. Simple, hey?

If a woman remains so focused on this concept of “what counts” and “staying pure,” she’ll miss the absolutely most important thing: What does she want to do? All this virginity crap does is distract people—especially women—from • 40

thinking about what they want and don’t want to do with their bodies.

What does she want to do? Maybe nothing—and that’s fine. But it’s a lot easier to come to that conclusion without social pressure to pop the cherry. Maybe she decides she does want to explore her sexuality. Maybe she decides she wants to experience vaginal penetration. Oh, but when?

It would be a lot easier to make that decision without the added pressure of “getting it done before going to college” (because having your hymen intact is such a burden) or “waiting for marriage.” Maybe she decides to wait until she finds the right person for what she’s looking for. Or maybe she decides the “who” doesn’t matter, or isn’t necessary, and she gets herself a nice silicone vibrator and sets exploring her sexual “likes” and “dislikes.” This whole process becomes significantly easier if she’s not worrying if what she’s doing “counts” as sex or not.

We see how omitting the whole virgin question can get rid of a lot of unnecessary complication with sexual activity and personal decisions. We see how it empowers women to

make their own choices about their own bodies; or at least give them breathing room to make those choices.

The reason so many people cling to this concept of virginity is because they’re concerned with remaining “pure.” This implies that sex is somehow “impure.” So I quote Bill Hick’s on this: “When did sex become a bad thing?”. Sexuality—whether you’re having intercourse with someone else or just masturbating— is a human function, just as much as eating and sleeping is. It’s something humans do once they hit a certain point in their physical development.

Sex is no more “impure” than enjoying a meal or taking a nap.

Sex is simply an optional function.

(Imagine how much time and money we could save if eating and sleeping were also optional.)

would do is give those who don’t share those beliefs and practices the ability to make their own choices without guilt, shame, or awkwardness. Just like we don’t let the practice of fasting by others impede on our ability to enjoy a meal. We don’t make up terms about people losing their purity when they taste chocolate for the first time; why do it for sex?

Whatever happens in the future, the moment I decided to perform a sexual act for the first time will be by my rules and my preferences, not judged by the standards of others.

Nor will it be considered as “losing virginity”, rather it will be viewed as gaining a new life experience.

I understand that there are several religions which advocate abstaining from sex until marriage. But I don’t see how eradicating this concept of “virginity,” and the concept of sex being impure, could hurt those religious practices or impede on anyone’s religious freedoms. All it • 41

I T ’ S A J U NGL E

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IN HERE . . . a nd I l i ke it .

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B ODY H A I R : W E N E E D TO TA L K The topic of FEMALE BODY HAIR seems to be one that piques different responses from people.

Many people are uncomfortable upon seeing noticeable body hair on women, because it disrupts traditional gender roles. The ways HOW to remove hair is frequently discussed, but we rarely hear the WHY. So let’s jump in a metaphorical time-machine and learn the brief history of female hair removal.

It is known that European women did not engage in the practice of hair-removal until the Elizabethan era. But they didn’t remove leg, armpit or pubic hair…they removed • 44

their eyebrows and the hair from their foreheads to give themselves a higher forehead. Women would have used walnut oil, or bandages soaked in ammonia (which they got from their feline pets) and vinegar.

In Ancient Egypt, Greece, and Middle Eastern countries, removing body hair was important. These women removed most of their body hair, except for their eyebrows. Egyptian women removed their head hair.

Having pubic hair was considered uncivilised.

elephant in the room In the Roman era, little body hair linked you to the wealthy classes.

Razors made from flints, tweezers, creams, and stones were all used to remove excess hair.

It wasn’t until 1915 that a razor specifically marketed towards women was developed. Gillette created the Milady Decolletée.

The early 1900’s also saw advertisements for depilatory cream hit the masses. In 1907 an ad for X-Bazin Depilatory Powder began circulating, promising to remove ‘humiliating growth of hair on the face, neck, and arms’. A decade later, a leading women’s fashion magazine ran an advertisement featuring a woman with her arms raised and her armpits bare, the first of it’s kind.

In 1940, Remington released the first electric women’s razor after the success of a male version. Due to a wartime shortage of nylon, more products and techniques for hair removal hit the market as women were forced to go bare legged more often.

But why remove body hair?

For some women, it is cultural practice–associated with the rituals completed prior to a marriage ceremony. For women of the Western world, it is a matter of aesthetics, identity or fitting into social norms. Or just because it feels better to some women to be hairless. But if you’re removing body hair against your own will, that’s when I think it’s a problem–it should come down to the individual’s decision, not anyone else’s.

In the Western world, unsightly body hair is regularly seen as an anomaly.

After all, it is culturally imbued in all of us to reject body hair on females (and sometimes on males) from.

If you ‘dare to go bare’ that’s cool.

Just as cool as if you want to let your lady locks grow freely. Frida Kahlo didn’t care about what others might have thought of her monobrow and moustache. she embraced it and let it form part of her character. Let’s face it, Frida Khalo was pretty bad-ass when it came to her appearance. Her body hair was essentially a big fuck-you to the cultural imperialism present in her society. When all’s said and done, your body hair is just that– yours–to remove or keep.

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BA

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RE . . . a nd I don’t ca re

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It comes as no shock that there’s no shortage of outcries from those who believe that selfies are emblematic of our collective cultural decay in a world dominated by social media.

In particular, these complaints feed off of the concern that selfies are the pinnacle of the passive narcissism and self-indulgence facilitated by social media.

Many undesirable characteristics are used to describe selfie-takers– superficial, vain, lazy, or desperate are also used as misogynistic insults against young girls.

To those not in the habit of taking selfies, it seems a weird ritual to perform. A short while ago, a video was posted on Youtube depicting a woman attempted valiantly to take the perfect selfie, posing in all sorts of different ways. The person behind the video was obviously intending to make fun of the girl, vilifying her

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actions as stupid and absurd just by the sheer fact that they shared her awkwardness on a global platform.

People start to wonder why you’re taking so many pictures without any discernible sentimental value. More often than not, those who take selfies are labelled attention-seekers.

The great thing about selfies is that they can be just what the name implies: all about you.

T H E R ISE OF SE L F I E S

The undeniably popular form of photography–the self-portrait (or ‘selfie’ as it is more commonly known)–is popular among many girls and young women. The Oxford Dictionary even declared “selfie” as word of the year, much to the dismay of many. Clearly the selfie phenomenon is ever-persisting.

I love taking selfies because there’s no pressure. You’re by yourself or with friends and you can take as few or as many as you like.

It’s simple, fast, and a subtle way of promoting positive self talk. I use the selfie as an opportunity to dress-up for my social media profile images.

Guiltily, I take around 100-200 images, posing different and from then, I select the best to edit. But we shouldn’t need to feel guilty for wanting to take photos of ourselves.

They are an instant confidence boost in almost any situation.

Headed to work? Selfie. Did your makeup perfectly? Selfie.

Procrastinating something? Selfie.

Selfies challenge the idea that you need a justification to be seen.

You’re announcing that you exist in the world and your life is just as valid as the next person’s.

Strategic selfies can also change the way you perceive yourself, both literally and metaphorically. Various effects like lighting, angles, and filters can turn your selfie into a work of art.

I might put on nicer clothes or do my hair, but it’s also about the psychological benefits of working through your insecurities. I look good and I know it. Your telling me I look good is going to make me feel even better.

On that note, selfies provide a sort of vehicle for raising the self-esteem of your friends as well. Instead of feeding my friends’ negativity by constantly having to reassure them about all the things that they’re not, I can like their new profile picture and compliment their appearance.

It’s the empowerment aspect of selfies that starts to make people squirm, particularly with respect to girls and women. After all, we are constantly bombarded with products claiming to fix all our imperfections, constantly promoting low self-esteem. Of course, not

all products marketed towards women are bad, but many have the underlying message of ‘there’s something wrong with you, so we’ve got this product to fix it’.

I don’t mean to suggest that anything marketed toward women is inherently bad. However, the predominant message often promotes negative self-image.

Societal norms are threatened– girls are taught from an early age that they can only feel good about themselves through the approval of everyone else, especially men.

Society romanticises self-loathing in women as an indicator of extreme virtue. There is nothing poetic about feeling uncomfortable in your own skin, and we need to stop encouraging girls to strive for that mentality.

Selfies can be a form of self-care, in generating a relationship with yourself. Use the selfie as a tool for generation self-love within yourself.

If taking selfies makes you feel good, then its a positive thing. Society should be more focused on teaching girls that confidence is not a sign of vanity, but rather a marker of healthy self-perception and positive thinking.

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