The dogs are having a ball today, Roll up for the canine cabaret!
Sit back and enjoy this rollicking canine caper. It's barking mad!
CAN $24.95
www.andersenpress.co.uk
Andersen Press
ÂŁ10.99 (U.K. only)
Peter Bently & Mei Matsuoka
It started one fine summer night When every pooch and mutt in sight Was jumping and jiving to the band But things didn't turn out quite as planned . . .
THE GREAT DOG BOTTOM SWAP
T HE G REAT D OG B OTTOM SWAP
Peter Bently & Mei Matsuoka
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:08
Page 1
This book belongs to ........................... ...........................
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:08
Page 2
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:08
Page 4
For Dan, Trini and Elijah, and Uncle Hen — PB To my Pedigree Chums, Eri and Lucy — MM Other books by Mei Matsuoka Burger Boy (written by Alan Durant) Footprints in the Snow First published in Great Britain in 2009 by Andersen Press Ltd., 20 Vauxhall Bridge Road, London SW1V 2SA. Published in Australia by Random House Australia Pty., Level 3, 100 Pacific Highway, North Sydney, NSW 2060. Text copyright © Peter Bently, 2009 Illustrations copyright © Mei Matsuoka, 2009 Designed by Ian Butterworth The rights of Peter Bently and Mei Matsuoka to be identified as the author and illustrator of this work have been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988. All rights reserved. Colour separated in Switzerland by Photolitho AG, Zürich. Printed and bound in Singapore by Tien Wah Press. 10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data available.
1
We cordially i
nv ite Peter Bent ly & Mei M atsuoka to write and to illust rate the unmissa ble event of
The Great D o g Bottom Sw ap
ISBN 978 1 84270 828 6 This book has been printed on acid-free paper
ss e r P n e s r Ande
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
Th
ed
12/9/08
Page 6
mmer Bal u S ’ s g o arrived for the D
l.
ay h ad
14:08
aA tt
he
All the dogs in
rld were lined up o w e th a
NOW PLEASE BE SO KIND AS TO KEEP YOUR cOAT ON BUT REMOVE YOUR BEHIND.
hall
.
Wh ere
, d i a s a sign on the door
aA
aA PLEASE HANG UP YOUR BOTTOM ON ONE OF THE PEGS
AND REMEMBER, NO GROWLING OR cOcKING OF LEGS.
aA
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 8
So as they went in – every dog, pooch and pup – They took off their bottoms and hung them all up.
Hundreds and hundreds of little pink ‘o’s All neatly arranged in methodical rows.
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 10
What a feast the dogs had at the ball on that night! The table was quite a magnificent sight. They dined on fresh giblets and dog-biscuit stew
With slippers and old dug-up sheep bones to chew. Then doggy-choc ices all creamy and brown And fresh puddle-water to wash it all down.
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 12
And a labrador told a rude joke about cats.
When the poodles had cleared all the food bowls away It was time for some fun from the dogs’ cabaret. a song in ridiculou d i d s e k s hat e p e s, Th
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 14
onjurer got c e h t a huge o c o c laugh Then
!”
B
yp lmatian in h a d rete a alf. nding to saw
aid, to great woo s o c o c f s of ” , w app no i n c g n , a s d o d l au e up on h n t r A o se, f “ y e o u rp im t aw s ’ t s “I
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 16
” ! s u t a “Look said an over-excited young hound As he whisked a fox terrier clear off the ground.
“Watch out!”
cried a sensible boxer named clive As the hound and the terrier started to jive.
They swirled and they twirled ever faster and faster Until –
! e h p o r t s a g ! o r d e t s h o isa d a t wha
The twirling was more than the afghan could handle – He suddenly tripped and knocked over a candle,
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 18
Which fell on the curtains, which promptly caught fire (Being old and quite cheap), sending flames ever higher. Some dogs broke the rule that forbade hind-leg-cocking But the fire soon spread with a speed that was shocking.
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 20
“Don’t panic!” barked clive in a great fit of passion, “Let’s all try to leave in an orderly fashion!” But that was an order they chose to ignore As they scurried and scuttled like heck for the door.
As the last dog shot out of the hall with a bark The lights all went phut! and the whole place went dark. “Wait a minute!” said clive to the panicking mutts. “Our bottoms! Our bottoms! We must save our butts!”
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 22
As every dog grabbed the first bottom they saw
bled So into the cloakroom they bumbled and tum
And soon all t he b otto ms wer e ho pele ssly
jum bled
th i w e r i f t a e r eg h t d e l f And
m u b a
. w a p r i e in th
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 24
Luckily every dog got out alive And no one was caught by the fire, except clive And some others whose tails had been singed all away (Which is why all those dogs have no tails to this day).
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 26
as well. d e u c s e r e r e w s m o uld tell t o c t y g o g o b d ’ o s n s g s e o n d k r e a h ed h la l t t of d e n s A au c e b t Bu
Whose bottom was wh o s e in So each dog w the ent hom pani e wit c an h an ds othe r do crum g’s bum .
12/9/08
14:09
Page 28
str
, when a pai n e h t e c n i s r of d er v e o gs And me u n d o , r t g h y a e l p et w e h t o o r o ds k r a or p e the h t In
, eet Of the bottom they lost on the night of the ball When the dogs hung their bums on the hooks in the hall.
Ea ch
ni s a
ff
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
dog m o gives t t o the other dog’s b ff i h w To see r a l u if it has the partic
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 30
Dogs Bottoms_250x245
12/9/08
14:09
Page 32
Stuck down