JULY/AUGUST/SEPTEMBER
He
GET PERFECT
beach babe
Awakened MY Love
How One Woman Finds True Love
WAVES
I Love My
Body BECAUSE . . . Learning to love the skin you’re in
Looks That
Flatter Not Make You Look
FATTER
the
BODY Issue
Beautifully & UNapologetically you
DEIIR A SMITH-COLL AR D
Founder/Editor- In - Chief/Creative Director
JOSEPHIN E SLOAN Managing Editor
Jessica Douglas
India Henderson
Dalana Bryant
Jennifer Leviston
Marketing Director
Beaut y Editor
Copy Editor
Contr ibuting Wr iter
Tia Griffin
Kim Bob
Marketing
Contr ibuting Wr iter
Khahelah Thornton Contr ibuting Wr iter
DESIGN & PHOTOGR APHY Depictions of Life Photography & Design
MAILING ADDRESS EMAIL Le Char me Magazine info@lecharmemagazine.com 3 4 0 N. Sam Houston Pk w y E WEBSITE Ste. A10 0 G w w w.lechar memagazine.com Houston, Texas 77060
2015
J U LY AU GU S T S E PT E M BE R
FASHION & STYLE Looks That Flatter Get Swim Wear Ready
BEAUTY & HAIR WHAT’S YOUR LINE? Beach Babe Waves
LOVE & SEX
CONTENTS ON THE COVER
Tif fa n y G ar cia
(center)
Tiffa ny M ar t in e z
(left)
Stev edr a A lle n
(right)
Photography Makeup Styling: DeiIra Smith Collard Hair: Josephine Sloan
Is T.V. Programming, Programming Women to Settle?
HEALTH & FITNESS E xcercise : I t ’ s A M ind - S tyle
M editation :
W hy you S hould
LIFE & LIVING He Awakened My Love
IN EVERY ISSUE TAKE IT FROM TIA.
THE VENT
SHE DID THAT
FEATURE
I Love My Body BECAUSE
Letter from the Editor
Le Charme Magazine has been a long-standing vision that has finally come to fruition. The concept of bringing just a portion of our knowledge and ourselves started with a statement, it was a mere thought that would merge the worlds of my writing and design skills that has transcended into greatness. This magazine is founded on the beliefs of sisterhood, unity, empowerment, strength and love. It is our goal to share our thoughts, passions, trials, concerns and accomplishments with the world, by first starting in the great city of Houston.
deiira@lecharmemagazine.com FACEBOOK
facebook.com/deiira INSTAGRAM
@deiira
We are a publication that embraces strength, integrity, and individuality. We want to empower women to know their worth and beauty inside and out; and embrace who you are and prosper as mothers, wives, daughters, sisters, friends and professionals. Le Charme Magazine invites you to connect with us, grow with us and thanks you for embarking on this journey with us.
Meet the team
Josie Sloan Managing Editor
Jessica Douglas Marketing Director
Chole Leviston Contributor
Khahelah Thornton Contributor
Tia Griffin Contributor
India Henderson Beauty Editor
Kim Bob Contributor
STYLE
By: DeiIra Smith-Collard
Have you ever had the shopping window whammy pulled on you? I’m sure we all have, it’s the moment you walk into a store after seeing an amazing dress in the window display. With uninhibited excitement, you grab your size and rush to the dressing room. Once you step into it you face the mirror expecting to see a show stopping, jaw dropping look, but instead you look like you’ve just stepped into a paper sack. This gorgeous dress is
Hideous on you!
So what do you do to stop the embarrassment of your wardrobe fitting you in al the wrong places? The first step to solving any problem is acceptance. YEP! We can no longer live in denial, believing that any and everything will look great on us. We have to accept our bodies and embrace them for what they are. Knowing your body shape will help you find the looks that always flatter.
STYLE Body Shape 1 The Apple If you’re an apple, chances are you have voluptuous breast, sexy arms, killer legs, and perhaps a few extra pounds in the midsection. Even though that troubling tummy always seems to get in the way, you can learn to play to your strengths and hide those not so flattering parts. The goal for the apple is to draw attention away from the tummy, slim your waist, and add structure to your rounded shape, making your upper body appear proportional to your bottom half.
Fashion that Flatters V-necks/Lower and Wider necklines this helps to elongate your upper body
Empire waist and halter dresses
adds the illusion of a smaller upper body and hides the middle
Pencil skirts/A Line
draws attention to your great legs and gives your body structure
High Waist Pants
adds curves and volume to your lower half to create balanced proportion with your fuller upper body
These Make you Look Fatter Clothing that fits tightly at the waist Creates the dreaded undesirable muffin top
High Necklines
these add even more bulk to your already full top
Tight Clingy Shirts
these will expose your fuller midsection
Shapeless garments
Apple Bodies need structure, shapeless, baggy clothing will make you appear larger
STYLE
Body Shape 2 The Pear Sexy pears have full rounded hips, small feminine upper bodies, and an enviously tiny, well defined waist. If you’re blessed with this body shape, you are full and shapely on your bottom half, while small and narrow on your upper half. Unlike the apple, the pear’s upper body is where you want to draw the eye and away from your fuller bottom half. Pears can rock layered looks up top without looking too bulky, this creates depth and visual appeal while giving balance to your pear shaped body.
Fashion that Flatters embellished neck lines, patterned tops
because you’re so dainty up top you can wear patterns and design around your neckline and upper body
A-Line Dresses/Tops
gives you focus up top while accenting your bottom curves
Wrap Style Dresses
these accentuate your waist while fitting loosely around your ample hips
These Make you Look Fatter High waist pants/pleated skirts
these looks will just make your bottom bulkier
Patterns/Lighter colored pants
the busy pattern across the pears curvy bottom may cause unwanted and unflattering attention
Pleats
these your heavy bottom look heavier
STYLE
Body Shape 3 The Hour Glass The hour glass body shape is the envy of them all. This body shape is one sexy bombshell that commands attention in almost everything that she wears. If you are an hour glass you tend to have big full breast, an itty bitty waist, and curvy full hips. You naturally have the balance that the other shapes are trying to achieve. Because of this, some hour glass women think they can throw anything on, but you should still look for styles that reduce bulk. Too much will cause you to look boxy Fitting clothes work well on this body type. Dresses and tops that fit snuggly around your waist will help to elongate your waist area.
Fashion that Flatters Vneck Shirts/Narrow Necklines these will help to slim down your breast
Wrap Dresses/Shirts
This will accentuate your amazing waist
Short Jackets
These will minimize your breast area and place the attention on your curves
Soft Fabrics
For you the soft flowing fabrics will cling to all your best assets
These Make you Look Fatter Ruffled/Embellished Shirts
these will add volume to your already full top, half causing you to look bigger
Excess Fabric
For the hour-glass to much fabric or gathers will cause you to look boxy
Excessive Print
Adding to much print to the hour glass figure will disguise your figure rather than enhance it
STYLE
Body Shape 4 The Ruler/Rectangle Ruler women are are athletic, lean and very lucky. The ruler proportions make them easy to shop for and easy to dress. This body type lacks curves. The chest ,waist and hips are all roughly the same size. With their long, lean limbs, small breast and straight waist, the ruler looks like an athlete with little effort. Because the ruler is so athletic looking, she will want to soften her body at times by using clothing that create curves.
Fashion that Flatters drapes,halters/off the shoulder shirt
these help to round out your straight lined physique high/low waisted pants - take your pick, these options will help to highlight your body and create curves
Pockets/pleats
this can help to add volume and curves to your lower half
Layered looks
because of your small upper body you can layer without adding unwanted bulk
These Make you Look Fatter There’s not much that will make the ruler look fat, but avoid straight lined clothing, and square necklines, this tends to add a boxier look to your already rectangular body.
Sometimes it’s hard to acknowledge what we consider flaws, but once you do then GAME ON. Your body’s type is not flawed but unique. Using the right tools to further enhance your fabulous features will help you change the way you view your reflection.
STYLE
Swim Wear
5 2015 Swimsuit Trends that will Rock Your Beach Body!
READY
By: DeiIra Smith-Collard
The Cutout Cutout s and Monok inis definite ly have their place in Summe r 2015's swimsu it line up. These sexy suits help accent uate your natural curves . For fuller figures cutouts can give the illusion of a slimme r waist while playing up your assets!
The High Waist This sexy retro, 50's inspired look will have you feeling like a sexy beach bombs hell. And just in case you carry a little extra in your mid section , this classic look can help you tame your tummy .
The Fringe
STYLE
Who doesn' t love the sexy sway of fringe as they strut across the room. This trend will give you a bit of sexy, a bit of sass and is versati le and flatterin g to many body types.
The Crochet Croche t and mesh add a delica te feel to your beach /pool wear. This swim suit will allow you to show all while showin g nothing at all.
The Animal Print This swim suit style is for the bold and fierce!. If you're not afraid of attention and want to make a statment the animal and tribal print suit is for you!
I Love My
Body BECAUSE
7
of the relationship I have with it. It dances, it runs, it has characteristics such as freckles, scars and s t r e t c h m a r k s that makes me unique... oh yes!! And I can't forget about the impressive gut instinct it has when it lets me know something isn't right. I say if your body has stretch marks, you've Definitly earned your strips!!! Be your inner Tiger! -Tiffany Danielle
BEAUTY
By: India Henderson
BEAUTY Subtle, classic, or bold, eyeliner has been a make-up staple for centuries. The history of eyeliner goes as far back as ancient civilization, when it was worn by both men and women alike. Used in Egypt and Mesopotamia in 10,000 BC, eyeliner, along with other cosmetics were not only used for aesthetics, but as a protective shield for the skin from the damaging desert sun. Research has also speculated that eyeliner was worn to protect the wearer from the dreaded “evil eye ”. In addition, Ancient Egyptians added lead salts to their black eyeliner for medicinal purposes. This practice was believed to ward off bacterial infections. Over the centuries, the ingredients and myths have changed but the purpose remained constant. The discovery of King Tut’s tomb fascinated the world by the Egyptian queen’s beauty; more specifically American women who had finally won the right to vote and began to assert their independence more freely. The 1920s is a decade that is commonly
associated with many changes in women’s fashion. Women during this time felt freer to apply makeup more liberally, recreating the “Egyptian eye” by using eyeliner without any restrictions. In these days, thick eyeliner was the popular trend. In the 30’s eyeliner was applied very close to the lash line, a method which is now known as “tight lining”. The use of eyeliner “tight” against the waterline under the lashes of the upper lid and above the lashes of the lower lid is one of the most simple but powerful applications in makeup history. Some even placed it directly underneath or into the lash line to make the lashes appear fuller. Clean and simple was the face of World War II era women. Very little, if any, eyeliner was worn. However, the shortage of items during World War I led to an interesting use of eyeliner in the years following. The scarcity of silk stockings lead inventive young women to use their eyeliner to draw a black line up the back of their legs to simulate a stocking seam. This method was genius in its creativity.
BEAUTY
The 50’s brought the liquid eyeliner and invented the famous “cat eye”. This, too many, may be the most classic beauty trend in history. Black eyeliner trimming the entire eye and waterline created an undeniable influence in beauty. With the ability to instantly make the eyes appear “sexier”, this timeless technique quickly became popular in makeup fashion with designers like Mary Quant, and is still relevant today. Taking it another level, the 60’s ushered in the art of “graphic” makeup. Lines became very thick and dramatic, sometimes accented with white to create a more eye catching effect. The model Twiggy popularized the graphic winged liner and heavy mascara. There are several variations of the winged liner. You can wing it up, wing it out, keep it thin, or make it thick. One of the most commonly worn style is created by placing liner thin on the inner half and gradually increasing its width as you get to the end. Most importantly, don’t forget to point the tip of your wings!!! The beauty industry then decided to stay natural and use warm, nude tones for the next decade. It is safe to say that the 70’s eyeliner was practically nonexistent. Not to worry, eyeliner made its huge comeback in the 80’s. This can be accredited to Madonna. Her preferred use of heavily lined eyes in black and bright neon colors brought eyeliner back with a vengeance. Now commonly used as a daily makeup
routine, eyeliner defines the eye and/or changes the look of the eye to make it appear wider or smaller. Its primary purpose is to make the lashes look lush, but it also draws attention to the eye and can enhance or even change the eye’s shape. Whether you are keeping it tight or winging it out, using the product that works best for you is key. Eyeliner is available in various types. Each type has its own advantages and disadvantages. The variations are Powder, Cake, Liquid, Gel, and Pencil.
POWDER Powder eyeliners are versatile and can provide a soft, subtle definition or look dramatic as you define your eyes and make precise and perfect curves. Made in powder form, it is often applied with an angled eyeliner brush either dry or dampened. A great powder line is Trish McEvoy’s Eye Definer Powder Eyeliner $18.
CAKE An early form of eyeliner that required users to add water to a cake of eyeliner pigment, cake eyeliner was applied with a small brush which was used to paint the liner around the eye. Using cake eyeliner can be messy and complicated to many, this was why several users switched to liquid eyeliner. However, if you still prefer this method, there are three that we recommend. Laura Mercier Tightline Cake Eyeliner $24, Makeup Forever Cake Eyeliner $18, or Ben Nye Cake Eyeliner $9.
BEAUTY LIQUID Unlike cake eyeliner, the liquid variety is pre-mixed and can be applied around the eye without having to add water. Liquid eyeliner offers a smooth application with sharp and precise lines. This formula is offered in a plethora of colors with shiny, metallic, and even glitter finishes. Some brands offer a waterproof option which guarantees a long lasting line. Liquid liner is great for fun and bold statements but I must admit, it requires a pretty steady hand. If you’ve got it down like a pro, here are some suggestions for you to have a little fun. Maybelline Line Stiletto Liquid Eyeliner $5, Urban Decay 24/7 Liquid Eyeliner $19, and Lancôme Artliner $31.
GEL A semi-solid form that can provide a more subtle look than liquid, gel eyeliner is applied in the same way as cake eyeliner. A small brush is required but once you are comfortable with the technique, perfectly crafted lines that are sure to draw attention directly to your eyes should be the end result. Also referred to as crème eyeliner, most professionals prefer this formula because you can get the precision and smoothness of a liquid liner but with a more natural matte finish. This formula is becoming more and more popular and brands are now offering more than just your basic black, brown, and navy colors. Some of my favorite black gel/crème liners are Wet ‘n’ Wild Fergie – On the Edge crème liner $5, Inglot Matte Collection AMC Gel liner $14, and Estee Lauder Double Wear Stay in Place Gel liner $25.
PENCIL Eyeliner pencils are the oldest kind of eyeliner used by humankind. As the name suggests, they are pencil shaped eyeliners, which glides easily when applying them. Different brands vary slightly. Some pencil eyeliners need to be sharpened while others are retractable and do not need sharpening. More confusing still, eyeliner pencils are now offered in different formulas. There are gel pencils, glide pencils, glitter pencils, and kohls. Talking about overwhelming, I KNOW!!! However, they are the best eyeliners for newbies or nonprofessionals and they come in many amazing colors to choose from which could give you both natural and dramatic looks. One of the easiest ways to add a pop of color to your eye makeup is colored liner
on the lower lash line. Give one of these a try to see how much fun you can have. MAC Eye Kohl Pencil $16, Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-on Eye Pencil $20, Milani Liquid Eye Eyeliner Pencil $7 Now that I have your eyes crossing lines from all of this eyeliner talk, let me complicate things just a bit more, LOL. Once you’ve decided which type of eyeliner suits you, be prepared to select the best formula. You have the option of waterproof, long lasting, glitter liner, kohl liners, and we didn’t even speak about semi-permanent and permanent tattoo liner. This has no doubt been a very lengthy discussion, but very informative I must say. Not everything has been covered here; I have briefly shared some basic knowledge of eyeliner. I have chosen a few of the popular types of eyeliner and gave some of their best brands. With the flooding of the cosmetic market, it can be quite overwhelming to decide on a brand, select the style and then the formula. I hope I have set you up for success. When you go out to make your next purchase, I have equipped you to be ahead of the line!!
I Love My
Body BECAUSE
it doesn’t define ME!! It shows that I have strength to withstand. My body shows how perfectly imperfect I am. I was beautifully created in the image of the one whom I trust, believe, and serve (God).
-Be’setta
Hair
Hair Sand between your toes, warm yet cool breeze kisses your face. The smell saltwater engulfs you. We have been waiting patiently for the heat to kick it up a few notches to announce the arrival of summer. It’s time to show off those smoking bodies in your swimwear, while walking along the beach, with those long luscious locks dancing in the wind. Well reality has kicked and that stroll on the beach has turned into you daydreaming at work. Vacation is usually a week long, but you can still achieve the Beach babe wave look with these simple tricks. Wave What? Not everyone is blessed with naturally curly or wavy hair. We are natural with an afro/ kinky texture and not a wave in sight. Flat twist can help you achieve the wavy look. Wash, condition, and deep condition the hair as usual. Add your favorite oil to your scalp and hair. Apply a conditioning holding mousse all over and distribute it from root to tip. Part your hair vertically in cornrow fashion and twist the hair while picking up additional pieces of hair until you have made it to the bottom of your head. Do this all over and allow to dry overnight, or sit under a hooded dryer for one hour to one hour and thirty minutes on high. Once it is dry, began carefully unraveling the twist. Spray with oil sheen and finger comb into style of your choice.
style, and Spray with holding spray for a lasting look.
Just Weave it.
Let’s Heat Things Up
You see them all of over YouTube from the professional user, to the experienced user, to the why in the hell is she making a video and burnt all her hair up user. You guessed it curling wands. Curling wands come in various sizes from the small tapered 9-18mm, to the large barrel 32mm, all giving varying curl and wave patterns when using the following technique. Be sure that your hair has been washed, conditioned, deep conditioned, and blow dried straight. Check the temperature of your curling wand. You want it to be between 350 and 400 degrees. Part hair into small workable sections and apply heat protectant to each section. Hold the curling wand in a downward motion in one hand. The other had should have on the protective glove and use it to wrap and twist the hair around the barrel. Release the hair after ten seconds and either pin curl in place with small hair clip, or hold in curled position for ten seconds. Repeat process all over head. Finger comb into desired
If you wear wigs or hair weaves, I would opt for virgin hair. You have been apply heat to them all winter and now it’s time to give those curling wands a rest and wear your Peruvian Wave, Malaysian Curly, or Brazilian Deep in their natural states. Summer virgin hair favorites are body wave, deep wave, and kinky curly. These textures are most common because of their easy maintenance, whether you have a handmade wig or a full sew-in. Wash and go styling is must when on vacation. You have the kids rushing you because they are ready to build sand castles, and your husband just rushing because that’s what they do. Besides those factors, what’s the point in making a huge fuss over hair that is about to get wet anyway. Defining those Curl/ Wave Patterns I know we like to wear our U-part wigs or full wigs, but I do have a favor to ask? Please when going on vacation, can we wear a sew-in or sew our wig down? The last thing you want to happen is to dive in the ocean to walk out to shore, getting your Baywatch walk on and your wig is floating on the side of you. That’s not sexy! Save yourself some embarrassment and do not pin
your wig down. Leave all heating middle sectioning the hair into appliances at home and make two ponytails on either side of your sure you have the following items: head. With a paddle brush, began to detangle the hair from the tips • Co-washing conditioner working your way up to the root. • Wide-tooth comb Leave on hair for seven to ten • Paddle brush minutes and rinse with luke-warm • Spray bottle water. Wring as much water out • Light-weight hair oil serum by hand as possible. With a wide • Leave-in Curl Cream Conditioner tooth comb, part the hair down the middle. Either spray or pump For Body Wave hair, spray hair a small amount of light weight oil with water in spray bottle. Using serum into your hands. Apply to the wide tooth comb, part the hair section of hair concentrating on down the middle sectioning the hair into two ponytails on each the tips and working your way up. side of your head. With a paddle Use the paddle brush to distribute brush, began to detangle the hair evenly. Then apply a small nickel from the tips working your way up size amount of leave in curl to the root. Either spray or pump cream conditioner. Use fingers to a small amount of light weight oil distribute evenly. Repeat process serum into your hands. Apply to on the other section of hair and each section of hair concentrating allow to air dry. Style as usual. on the tips and working your way I hope this was helpful in allowing up. Repeat process on the other your day dream to become a section of hair. Allow the hair to reality when it comes to achieving air dry, do not towel dry. Towel the waves without the beach. drying can make the hair frizzy, and causes tangles which leads to excess shredding. Style as usual. For Deep Wave and Kinky Curly hair, saturate hair with water in spray bottle and apply a generous amount of co-washing conditioner. (Due to the tighter curl pattern this technique will differ slightly from the Body Wave and Deep Wave technique.) Using the wide tooth comb, part the hair down the
Bob m i K H IT W
Is T.V. Programming,
Programming, to
SETTLE?
Is He Dating A Dutchess? Photo Courtesy of @DutchessofInk
Love & Relationships My mother loves daytime talk shows and dating shows. Maury Povich, Bill Cunningham and The Bachelor are her favorites. I, on the other hand, despise them. I don’t understand why 25 beautiful intelligent women would knowingly publicly compete for ONE man! I cannot for the life of me fathom why a woman would bring her significant other on national TV to take a lie detector test to determine if they are cheating! Why do you need a test to tell you what you already know? You would think his actions, his lies, his inconsistency, would be proof enough. No, they need scientific proof to believe it and then that still is not enough, because they stay with the man who you have now shown the whole world is a lying cheat. What was the purpose? Is it me, or do you to see a rapid steady decline in women’s values?
WHY?
Why do women tolerate such blatant disrespect from men who claim to love them? Are we truly that desperate for A man that we accept ANY man? Has a man’s ability to spit game gotten so good that we can’t discern truth from fiction? Now ladies, we all love flattery. I love sincere flattery. Sincere flattery is when someone compliments you because it’s the truth and they expect nothing in return for the compliment. However; I am not, nor have I ever been easily impressed or swayed by words. I am a woman of action. I don’t put a lot of weight on words because a good communicator can talk to you and quickly determine your likes and dislikes and tell you what you want to hear. A skillful manipulator will listen and later use your own words against you. A person’s actions will tell you more than their words ever can! Which brings me back to the lie detector test. Why do you need a lie detector test to confirm what you pretty much already know? COME ON CHIC, do you really need a test to tell you he cheating? The
Love & Relationships lying, the intimate or inappropriate text with other women, the unaccounted funds and hours he was missing didn’t clue you in? Women are literally dying to be loved. The rapid increase in women getting HIV proves that theory. The fear of being alone has made women desperate. That desperation is driving women to tolerate the intolerable and to audition for shows like The Bachelor, or Match Made In Heaven. The bachelor has been on TV for 18 seasons, yet only three of the couples are still together today and married. Only one of the couples came from the show The Bachelorette. I would also like to add as a side note, there have never been a black bachelor or bachelorette. A lot of the popular reality shows don’t show us in a good light. We are continuously being bombarded with images of women being rewarded for degrading their selves. Society rewards women of no morals with popularity and these women become rich from their moral decay. When I was young, I was attracted to bad boys. My mother attributed it to my youth. She would say I was young and dumb and she was right! In your teens and twenties, that’s acceptable. In your thirties, you should know what you want? The bar should be raised at this point. In your forties, you too damn old to be playing games. In Tamar Braxton’s words “Ain’t nobody got time for that”. By thirty five, The standard should be set. Maybe we should be more mindful of what we are allowing to go in our minds. But the big question is, If we as women don’t know our worth, How do we expect men or anyone for that reason to know our worth? People will only do what you allow or tolerate. So, what are you teaching men, people, or the younger generation by what you are allowing? Maya Angelou said when we know better, we do better so, I challenge you, my sisters of every race, age, size, religion, TO KNOW YOUR WORTH AND TO DO BETTER.
I believe in you.
-INDEPENDENT WOMAN, KIM BOB
I Love My
Body BECAUSE
it has given me a boost of confidence in what i wear and how i wear it. I feel
encourageD
Curves
with my and feel that the best way to get the word out is
through me loving who i am while rooting others to love what they were blessed with and who they are. So through this message be encouraged to not only just be you you that you but be the can possibly be just being yourself. xoxo
best
-Stevedra
@TakeItFromTia
By: Tia Griffin
Hello Danielle, Where do I start with you, Honey?! Only thing holding you back is YOU! Stop, and think about who you are. Ask yourself questions that force you to answer yourself? Psychologists at the University of Houston say studies show when we ask ourselves questions that we have to answer, we hold ourselves more accountable for negative behaviors and are more compelled to change them. Ask yourself questions like: Who are you? What do you do? Are you independent? Are you easy to talk to? Are you good at being you? What is your favorite personal personality trait? What kind of people do you like to hang with? These are the type of questions that help you find your “authentic self.” These questions demand you to come face to face with yourself. Make sure you are honest, unafraid of your truth, and nowhere near denial. Be ready to commit to the changes you will surely undergo! That’s where your “authentic self” lays in wait for a turn to rock your world! Besides, you have to be yourself because everybody else is taken! Dear Tia, I am 26 years old. I am so insecure, and I constantly worry about what other people think of me. It has caused me to become a prisoner in my own skin. I want to be confident. I want to be like you!
Out With The Old, In With The New
Dear Tia, My last boyfriend cheated excessively, so I dumped him. Now I am with a new boyfriend, but I find it hard to trust him because of what happened in the previous relationship. How do I keep from bringing that insecurity into my new relationship? Heather L. (Sarasota, FL)
Hey Heather, Ex-boyfriend was an isolated affair in your life. No one should ever have to serve another man’s sentence. You will never trust your ex again, he is your ex… but the new boyfriend doesn’t deserve the same premeditated outcome. Now, if new boyfriend is doing some of the similar things that ex did, then you need to step back and evaluate your taste in men. Are you a serial romantic or a naïve thinker? It is time to date yourself. Figure out who you are, what you are, and what you want. Once you figure all that out, that’s when you begin to date again.
Questions for Tia?
Do you have a question for Tia, let us know takeitfromtia@lecharmemagazine.com
Counting Your Coins By: Josie Sloan
Okay so you are at the point where you want to quit your nine to five, but you can’t because those bills won’t allow you to. You sit at work and shop or play Facebook games and get mad because they block it from all employees, knowing that you have things to do. Kevin Gates says, “I got six jobs, I don’t get tired” and your first thought is obviously neither of those jobs are a mother or wife. It is time to start working on planning a vacation. So at least you have been saving your money correct? No really you have been saving your money, right? Well that’s okay since you are so hard headed and didn’t take advice from the previous Counting Your Coins articles; let’s review some tips and tricks for planning a budget friendly vacation. Avoid Peak Season Traveling Summer and holidays should be avoided when traveling. Travel agents, hotels and airline know that people are more apt to travel when school is out. So they decide to jack up the prices and say it’s for fuel or increase of needed employees to accommodate the crowds. Try to travel the first week in June and the second week in August. Peak season is normally over and you will see major price drops on Hotels and Airfare. Research Hotel Amenities Just because it is the cheapest hotel doesn’t mean it’s the best value. When searching for a hotel search by the best deal. They may have free Wi-Fi, hot breakfast, or parking. These are hidden cost at some
hotels, and can really throw a wrench in your budget. Also you can save time and money if the hotels have a game room, a resort style pool with water slide and lazy river or nightclubs. You don’t have to plan as much if it’s on location and included in the price of your hotel. Bring Travel Friendly Food When choosing a hotel, be sure that it has fridge and microwave. If a road trip, you can bring cases of water, soda, and juice to store in the refrigerator. If flying, visit the grocery store to have these things on hand. Also bring things that can be eaten for lunch. The last thing you want to do is to spend fifty dollars on a burger and fries for a family of four because you are starving in an amusement park. Make sandwiches to pack with you when you visit. Keep nuts, granola bars, chips, or any items that can’t melt to fight off the temptation of expensive snacking. Pack Smart Airlines are making a killing off of the baggage fees. Make sure that you plan your trip out to the T. Bring clothes for what you will wear during day activities as well as for evening activities. If you don’t workout, vacation is not the time to start. Save room in your luggage for other things that you will need. Don’t Go I would rather deal with my job a little longer than to go on vacation thinking about all the debt I’m racking up on a trip. If you have to rob Peter to pay Paul, forget about it. Use this time to work on planning your vacation and creating a budget for next year using these tips.
FEATURE
I Love My
Body BECAUSE . . .
Learning to love the skin you’re in By: DeiIra Smith-Collard
23
FEATURE
In the world of waist trainers and body shapers, it’s easy to become lost and misguided when it comes to loving your body. We all have undeniable traits that we sometimes wish we could change, however the combination of social media selfies, celebrity six-packs and bikini ready model bodies have caused a senseless need to keep up with the image that the media perpetuates. All women both young and old, and even those in between can struggle with their own sense of self and body image. If you were to ask any woman what is body image, she would more than likely respond with “what I think of my body”. Loosely speaking this is correct but your
body image is deeper and can be influenced by many different factors. Body image is all about your perception. It’s how you have come to view your body. This is the part most of us know, but we rarely think of those things that have influenced the way we have come to view our reflection. On a daily basis we are exposed to both internal and external influences. Internally we sometimes compare ourselves to what we see on the internet or the world’s perceptions of what is beautiful or attractive. We look in the mirror and mentally judge the image we see, wishing and hoping it “better”. External influences can come in many different forms. For
FEATURE me, it was a friend. This friend jokingly compared what she felt were her best assets to what she felt were my short comings. At first, I didn’t pay much attention to it, I mean it was just a joke right? I didn’t know it had effected me as it had until I found myself staring at my body in the mirror wondering if she was right. I started to compare myself to her perception of me, causing me to question my body image. These are the small things that we don’t think about, we don’t question but they still open us up to negatively viewing ourselves. Even though you can’t change society’s views, you can overcome your false or negative perceptions of yourself. You can learn to love the person you see, the woman you are and embrace your uniquely made body. First things first, stop the comparisons. There is no need to compare yourself to anyone else or listen to someone compare themselves to you. Each and every one of us has been given something special and individually made. There is no comparison you are you and no body can do you better than you. Once you stop the comparisons and acknowledge the cause of your negative images you can move forward in having a healthier body image. Release the labels, opinions and insecurities that people, yourself included, have placed on you. My friend projected her opinions on to me, and I foolishly allowed her words to penetrate my own perception of me. Knowing that I accept and acknowledge my own truth, there is nothing anyone could say to me
FEATURE that will sway how I feel about me. I challenge you to truly see and love yourself. I love my body because it is uniquely designed, extraordinarily distinctive, and perfectly flawed. It is both perfect and imperfect, which is undeniably me. My body is one of God’s many masterpieces. How about you?
I Love My
Body BECAUSE I Bore Legacy!! (My Sons) -Chelsea
I Love My
Body BECAUSE it is mine to
care for, nurture and
dress it well which I love to do! -Tiffany Nichole
DID With DeiIra Smith-Collard
Deandrea
Shantele
motiv ation al sp busin eake e s r s me enco ntor urage m
ent c oach
Sometimes, in the sea of people you meet, you will come across someone so extraordinary and inspiring that their presence will stop you where you stand. When they speak you take notice. When they walk into a room it quiets and most will wonder what’s her secret. Deandrea Shantele is this type of woman. She’s the woman that rises against the odds, the one that aspires to greatness and pushes forward in her purpose to fulfill her goals with relentless ambition. Deandrea is a motivational speaker, encouragement coach, and business mentor. In addition she is the founder of The Pinc Project (Purpose INC), an organization dedicated to the uplifting and encouragement of Women. Deandrea Shantele gives Le Charme Magazine a glimpse into her world to let us know just how SHE DID THAT!!!
LM: A “ She Did That ” woman is a woman of excellence, a woman of purpose, what traits do you believe make a successful woman? DS:The traits that I believe make a successful woman are: Believing in yourself and your ideas even when others may not, having passion for your work, compassion for others and definitely being humble and approachable. LM: Would you tell us more about your background and how you found your purpose? DS: I have a very diverse background from the food restaurateur to the entertainment industry as well as in healthcare industry, corporate arena and business consulting. But, I accepted my purpose in a prison cell in Bryan Texas. I always had a passion to help people. I’m the person that everyone calls for advice, business and personal. So I know that I am here to HELP people, encourage and motivate them to go to their next level LM: Do you believe your experience and trials have helped to shape the person you are today? If so, how? DS: My experience and my trials have most definitely helped to shape the person I am today. I know people think that the older we get the wiser we get, but that is not always true. Most of the time it isn’t until we have that rock bottom experience that we tend to get our “minds right”. So it doesn’t matter if you are 36 or 26…it’s just a matter of what season and what mindset you are in at that moment. So it wasn’t until I was 31 years old that I realized that life was more than money, cars and handbags…I realized it when it was all taken away from me.
LM: What is your mission and purpose of The Pinc Project? DS: The mission and purpose of the Pinc Project (Purpose INC) is to uplift and encourage women by education, counseling and referral of needed resources. The organization focuses on women but extends services and resources to men, teenagers and children alike. The focus of the organization is to be a resource to everyone that no matter what your past or current situation is, there are people out there who have been where you have been and have the testimony that they made it out and are living successfully and walking in victory and PURPOSE. LM:You are a woman that has many different roles, how do you make sure you are successful with all things that you do? DS: I know it may be a cliché but honestly, I keep God first. When I had everything and when I had nothing, I still gave God the same honor and praise because deep down I knew and He showed me that He alone was my source and my provider and yes there were times that I was tested and got scared, that’s a natural reaction, but I didn’t waiver in my faith and faith is a supernatural reaction. So, I gave myself a pep talk and got back on the road to redemption. Faith in God = Success. Period. LM: Along the way, have you ever felt that the journey was to hard or have you always known there was a higher purpose for you? DS: I have always known that there was something greater; I just didn’t know what it was or how to tap into it. And yes, I have also felt that the journey was hard. But nothing comes easy…if it did we wouldn’t want it or appreciate it.
One of the things that was birthed out of a period in my journey is “Monologues and Confessions” A Night of Truth and Confessions. This production is a series and platform for people to share their personal stories allowing the audience to know that others have gone through and overcame what some may feel is unbearable. It’s a part of breaking the silence… from this production came the mantra is “Keep the Conversation Going”. Be on the lookout for Monologues and Confessions-The Gentleman’s Edition coming soon to a city near you!
LM: Your organization is growing and has seen success, how do you plan to keep moving forward in your vision? What is the next step for The PINC Project? DS: I plan to keep moving forward in my vision by acting on those small “ideas and thoughts” that come to my mind. In essence, those are seeds that are being planted inside of us. It’s up to us to nurture and water the seed and see it grow to its fullest potential. The next step for The PINC Project is to acquire an actual building/facility where people can come and be serviced. We will offer Continuing Education, Life Skills Counseling and Health Information as well as direction to Housing Resources if needed. There will also be volunteer and employment opportunities for individuals who complete courses provided at the facility. LM: What advice would you give a woman who feels her past is hindering her from moving forward in her present? DS: My advice to a woman who feels her past is hindering her would be to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start WALKING again. If you feel that you’re too weak and you need help, find someone that you can confide in, that you trust and that you know genuinely cares about you and ask for help. And if that isn’t available to you contact the PINC Project and let us help you to get on the path that God purposed for you… Email: deandreashantelespeaks@gmail.com IG: @deandreshantelespeaks Facebook: Deandrea Shantele
I Love My
Body BECAUSE
it’s the body that God gave me so I embrace it because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
-Techelle
THE
Do you have something you want to sound off about. email us at: khahelah@lecharmemagazine.com
WITH Khahelah Thornton
WATCH YOUR KIDS
Watch your kids. So I took my two kids to swim practice and stood with them in line until it was time for the swimming instructors to open the door and allow the children to enter the pool area. My kids were first in line and after standing there for about two minutes other kids began to line up after behind them. One little boy who had to be about four years old jumped off his mother’s lap (mind you she was sitting about three seats to the left of the line) and decided to stand in front of my children. I stood there, waiting for the mother to say or do something, but she consciously attempted not to make eye contact, the little boy kept looking back at my children as my children continuously verbalized their upset about the little boy cutting in line. After two minutes of the mother not doing anything, I grabbed my kids and put them both directly in front of the boy and dared the mother or the child to do something about it. Obviously the mother decided to glance up after intentionally pretending to leave her child unattended for all of 5 minutes, but did she dare say anything to me? NOT
NO SHOULDER DRIVING When most of us sit in traffic it’s usually because we have somewhere we need to be, whether it be home, work or where the hell ever. It infuriates me to no end when I see people driving on the shoulder of the road (you know the lane that is for emergency only) as if they got lucky and ended up in the no traffic lane, until they get to the front of the line or are forced to enter the traffic like the rest of us and someone allows them to enter. If it is a true emergency and this person has hazard lights flashing, I understand, but if this is not the case, get in line.
FAKING IT A friend of mine was raised in damn near poverty for at least 25 years of her life. She married a man that was able to take her out of her circumstance and afford her an okay life. Not poor, not middle class. Now that she has some money, she acts as if she has always had money, attempting to live lavishly above her means and speaking as if her life has always consisted of such. It is so annoying watching someone pretend to forget about their past and pretend to be something they are not! FAKE!!
Healthy Meal Remix By: Josie Sloan
Summer Grilling Done Light
First and foremost I would like to give thanks and honor to E. G. Kingsford for inventing the modern day charcoal briquette. This has given men the opportunity to play with fire, and have given women the chance to kick back while they cook dinner. Yes I am talking about a good old fashion barbecue. Throw a few sides together, and let that man feel like he’s doing the damn thang. Although the break is warranted, we need to help them eliminate all those additional calories and fat. Face it, summer is not the season of the fat pants, but the season of short shorts, crop tops, and banging swimwear. So let’s lighten up that grill with some healthy alternatives to the traditional barbecue, and help you with those side dishes.
You Will Need 1lbs of boneless, skinless chicken thighs onion red and gre en bell pepper mushro om
zucchini yellow squash onion powder garlic powder Mrs. Dash All Natural Seasoning
whole lemons Black Pepper and Sea Salt Light Italian Dressing Large Ziploc bag bambo o skewers
Let’s Get Started Open package of chicken thighs and rinse well. Pat dry and get your knife ready to remove any visible fat. Chicken thighs can be very fatty with the skin and bones on it, but with the removal of skin and bones and any additional fat makes it flavorful and healthy. You can use chicken breast as well if you do not like dark meat. Season liberally both sides of thighs with onion and garlic powder, Mrs. Dash and black pepper. Lightly salt both side of chicken. Place seasoned chicken in a Ziploc bag. Squeeze the juice of a lemon and pour about half a cup of light Italian dressing. Let the chicken set out for 15 minutes until it becomes room temperature. Cut all your veggies into a half inch sizes. Run water on the bamboo skewers and, began to alternate, in a pattern of your choice the vegetables on the skewer choice. Season the skewers with black pepper and sea salt. Coat each skewer with the Italian dressing. The grill should have a temperature of 250 – 350 degrees. Place the chicken thighs on the direct heat. Allow the meat to cook all the way for one hour and thirty minutes. Turn the meat after cooking for forty-five minutes. The vegetables will cook faster than the chicken so place the skewers on after the second half of cooking the chicken. Place them on the rack located in the lid to avoid the direct heat. Allow to cook for thirty to 45 minutes turning frequently.
I Love My
Body BECAUSE
beautiful I am
I am
confident
when I walk, and confidence makes you
Sexy.
-Lanell
Health & Fitness
EXCERCISE By: Tia Griffin
A
Lifestyle and a Mindstyle
Saying the word “exercise” is like saying a four-letter word to me. I repel exercise. I would rather scrub toilets than walk a mile! In a recent visit to my doctor, he told me, “It’s time to exercise, Tia.” I begin to ask him in my own sarcastic way, “Are you telling me I’m fat?” He chuckled and said, “I don’t know, is it working?” I wanted more motivation to hit the gym than a few lost lbs. My doctor initiated my attention when he said it stopped the aging process! #PumpTheBrakes #Screeeeech #SayWhat Yes, exercise not only stops the aging process but reverses it as well! I said, “Tell me more.” Hanging on his next word, he told me that it reverses detrimental effects of stress. So you mean to tell me, if I began to work out, I will age in reverse and not stress? His answer, ladies, was YES! Jumping on a treadmill for 30 minutes a day can oppose tension by increasing the levels of “happy” brain chemicals including serotonin, dopamine, and nonrepinephrine. Studies show exercise actually works on a cellular level to reverse stress’s
aging process. A study conducted by Baylor College of Medicine suggests burning off 350 calories three times a week can reduce symptoms of depression about as effectively as antidepressants. The reason being that exercise appears to stimulate the growth of neurons in certain brain regions damaged by depression. Exercise also improves the production of brain molecules that improve connections between nerve cells and those “happy” chemicals we talked about earlier. Exercise also increases the level of brain chemicals called “growth factors.” Which means we also get smarter as we work out! “Growth factors” allow your logic to push the boundaries of your own neurological growth. Your ways of thinking sharpens, and your problem solving skills improve. According to German researchers, “Like muscles, you have to stretch your brain cells to get them to grow stronger.” Building self-esteem and improving self-image are among the highest benefits of exercising. Most people exercise to shed
Health & Fitness
excess weight or weight related health issues, but it is true that when you began to lose weight, you feel better about yourself. Who couldn’t use a little more of that? The benefits of exercising are overwhelmingly helpful. Knowing that I am creating a healthy lifestyle is also initiating a great new mind style. As I lace up my Nikes, join me. Let us all launch ourselves into a better self! Look younger, stress less! Who’s with me?
Tweet me @TakeItFromTia #BenefitWeightloss
Why YOU should be doing it By: Tia Griffin
To
some, meditation is a ridiculous notion. Something for the ancient monks, or fitness gurus. We all assume its time consuming, but it’s a practice that only takes two minutes a day. All you need is two minutes and a quiet space. Studies have shown that meditating in as little as two minutes a day will reduce stress, relax your brain, and initiate self-improvement. Aren’t you tired of being emotion-ally drained and stressed out? Meditation is a practice that strengthens the brain through focus on absolutely nothing. Strange-ly enough, your focus is NOT to focus. Just let your mind relax. As a wife, mom, employee, friend, sister, etc., we never get a chance to just stop thinking. Meditation is a chance to stop thinking, so your brain can tell you what you need. Thoughts will not stop, ob-viously, but you have to allow them to float by with no attention. The benefits of meditating are beyond helpful. A study performed at the University of Notre Dame noted significant rise in creativity, production, and brain power. Researchers noticed that stress de-creased by as much as 35% and emotional stability increased by 46% in students and faculty studied. They slept better. Their problems seemed smaller, and therefore propelled clarity. The vol-unteers of the study committed to five minutes alone in a quiet space every day. That was it. Meditation is an exercise. It’s difficult in the beginning, but just like any other muscle, it gets stronger with practice. Reclaim your self improving power through meditation! Start with two minutes, and began to see your own benefits.
Health & Fitness
4 STEPS ON HOW TO MEDITATE 1) Find a quiet place and sit down. 2) Sit Up Straight 3) Focus on your breathing 4) Relax your brain
What happens to your brain while you meditate? *Dials back your emotions *Increases focus *Increases blood flow *Reduces anxiety *Better memory
I Love My
Body BECAUSE
God gave it to me as my temple. I do my best to take care of it by eating right and exercising daily.
Ashley
-
Photography: DeiIra Smith-Collard Makeup:
India Herderson
He
Awakened
MY Love By: Brandee N. Nelson
39
I
don’t think I have ever taken in the beauty of the clouds and sun by day, and the stars and moon by night. Well that’s until my love was awakened by this wonderful guy. Honey, stay with me as I tell you this story of my life. You might be saying something like this, “Who is this woman? Why should I listen to her concerning love? What’s so special about this love she has?”. I truly can say that I have had my share of heartbreaks, through kiddie love, divorce, and losing some of the dearest people to me. Even in those turn of events, I lost who Brandee was. Growing up we believed that love was what we seen on television, especially those of us who were forced to watch Young & The Restless, Falcon Crest, Dallas, or As The World Turns. These shows were consistent, which is why they have lasted so long. Consistent in drama! Some of us can admit that our love life would be a magic fit for these shows of the past. Let me ask you a question that you might want to really answer honestly, what does your life of love look like now? Is it what you have always dreamt your life would be? Or have you settled for less? I will take a quote out of the book of Erykah Badu chapter 5: I’m a recovering undercover over lover, recovering from a lover I can’t get over. Read it again and let it sink in. I have been in countless situation-ships (relationships that was more of a situation), where I thought that I had met the one. Oh, ladies don’t leave me out here by myself! I was in these circumstances for several reasons, I gave “it” up too quickly, I
trusted too easy, or I wanted love so bad anything that would be a reflection of love I accepted it. Being raw and straight to the point has caused me to take responsibility for my actions. I have made some stupid decisions, but in those decisions I have learned who I really am. Now what I want to help you to see, is YOU. Most of the time we find people who love us based off of what they think of us. When the love that you need is far beyond what you can imagine. I have been divorced for 9 years now, and it has not been an easy task being single. When you have the demands of being a mother, friend, entrepreneur, leader, and minister this life can get a little twisted up. I was lost for a long time in my life, because I wanted something so bad that I felt that I didn’t deserved. You wouldn’t think that I would feel this way, when I come from great stock. My father loved me more than I could ever devise, and a mother who showed her love for me in countless measures. Yes, I am the spoiled baby of the bunch. However, outside of that unit finding love became very difficult. Until one day a person that I had over looked all my life became my friend. It was not love at first sight, or even butterflies in my stomach, it was love that grew. He unlocked
something in me that I had always possessed but gave away to every other man. He had keys to my heart that I never knew existed, and he didn’t force himself in. I was so broken when he came into my life but he didn’t care about that. Anger was a heavy coat I wore, but that didn’t seem to bother him. This man knew I had trust issues, but he proved to me every day that I could trust him. There were days we sat and talked for hours while he revealed to me his heart and wisdom. If you are anything like me an intelligent man is EVERYTHING. I am telling you he knew so much
about me that I didn’t have to go through the awkward questions. He knew ME! He had the fore knowledge that I had a heart of stone for protection, but actually creating a prison for my heart and he spoke these words to me. “Ezekiel 36:26 26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” He did just that, he awakened my love with the intent to use it. His name is GOD!