Every February 14, around the world, candy, flowers and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint, and where did these traditions come from? Find out about the history of this centuries-old day, from ancient Roman rituals to the customs of Victorian England. THE LEGEND OF ST. VALENTINE The history of Valentine’s Day–and the story of its patron saint–is shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine’s Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. But who was Saint Valentine, and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl–possibly his jailor’s daughter–who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and–most importantly–romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France. ORIGINS OF VALENTINE’S DAY: A PAGAN FESTIVAL IN FEBRUARY While some believe that Valentine’s Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine’s death or burial–which probably occurred around A.D. 270–others claim that the Christian church may have decided to place St. Valentine’s feast day in the middle of February in an effort to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia. Celebrated at the ides of February, or February 15, Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. They would then strip the goat’s hide into strips, dip them into the sacrificial blood and take to the streets, gently slapping both women and crop fields with the goat hide. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed the touch of the hides because it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city’s bachelors would each choose a name and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. VALENTINE’S DAY: A DAY OF ROMANCE Lupercalia survived the initial rise of Christianity and but was outlawed—as it was deemed “un-Christian”–at the end of the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine’s Day. It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds’ mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of Valentine’s Day should be a day for romance. Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine’s didn’t begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. (The greeting is now part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.) Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois. TYPICAL VALENTINE’S DAY GREETINGS In addition to the United States, Valentine’s Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France and Australia. In Great Britain, Valentine’s Day began to be popularly celebrated around the 17th century. By the middle of the 18th, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Readymade cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one’s feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine’s Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Howland, known as the “Mother of the Valentine,” made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as “scrap.” Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Women purchase approximately 85 percent of all valentines.
Games of chance don’t have to be all that chancy. Here are some hints on how to get the odds on your side. BY ANDY SIMMONS BE A “PICK A NUMBER” FRIEND
This method works if two of you have been asked to pick a number and the closer number wins. Usually, the range will be between one and 10. In this case, let your foe go first. Say he picks seven—you pick six. This gives you a 60 percent chance of winning. If he smugly shouts, “Three feels lucky,” you counter, “Four feels luckier!” And it should, since it gives you a 70 percent chance of winning. Should he put everything on five, you put it all on six. At least your odds are 5050. Source: everything2.com
Have you ever answered "no" when someone asked you if you were upset—even when you were fuming? If so, you just entered passive-aggressive territory.
YOU PUT PEOPLE DOWN Being passive aggressive is a way to subtly put someone down to make yourself feel better, says Jodi Aman, a psychotherapist based in Rochester, New York. "This is many times unconsciously done—usually when someone feels bad or guilty about themselves, and they want to turn the spotlight," Aman says. "That's why being aware is helpful. But then, of course, you have to want to change. Some people fail to see how hurtful it is."
BY ERICA LAMBERG YOU SAY YOU AGREE, BUT YOUR ACTIONS SAY OTHERWISE When given a task they don't really want to do, a passive-aggressive person might appear to agree (sometimes even enthusiastically), but they won't fully comply with the request, Daniel K. Hall-Flavin, MD, explains to Mayo Clinic. Instead, he or she might express anger or resentment by failing to follow through or missing deadlines. YOU’RE ANGRY BUT NEVER SAY SO Saying you're not mad when you're actually seeing red won't do anyone any favors. "Denying feelings of anger is classic passive-aggressive behavior," Signe Whitson, a licensed social worker and childhood therapist said. YOU SULK Another strategy of a passive-aggressive person is withdrawing from a confrontation by sulking. Whitson explains, "Since passive aggression is motivated by a person's belief that expressing anger directly will only make his life worse, the passive-aggressive person uses phrases like 'fine' and 'whatever' to express anger indirectly and to shut down direct, emotionally honest communication." YOU PROCRASTINATE Putting off tasks, making excuses, and being unreliable are also telltale signs of passiveaggressive behavior. "They are master procrastinators," says Whitson. "While all of us like to put off unpleasant tasks from time to time, people with passive-aggressive personalities rely on procrastination as a way of frustrating others and/or getting out of certain chores without having to directly refuse them." YOU STIR UP TROUBLE According to Whitson, "passive-aggressive people are masters at remaining calm and feigning shock while others, worn down by his or her indirect hostility, blow up in anger." Even worse, this person can take pleasure out of setting others up to go off-the-handle and then comment on why they are overreacting. YOU GIVE OFF MIXED MESSAGES A passive-aggressive comment is one that feels like a knife but is difficult to respond to directly, says Charlotte Howard, PhD, a psychologist in a private practice in Austin, Texas. "This may be because it is either buried in a nice tone or some other large seemingly nice point. It also might be because the comment is so indirect that if you express you're hurt, you may seem too sensitive." Alternatively, passive-aggressive comments may be true statements that bring to light an unflattering angle on a person or situation. "Therefore, it's difficult to argue with the statement, but it still stings because of what it implies about you," she explains.
YOU GIVING PEOPLE THE SILENT TREATMENT According to Kimberly Williams, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and neuropsychologist in New York, giving someone the silent treatment in person is prime passive aggression. "You want them to know you're angry but aggressively make an effort not to discuss the issue," Williams says. YOU MAKE A POINT TO AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA INTERACTION Giving someone the silent treatment via social media is also a telltale sign of passive -aggressive behavior. When you normally "like" or comment on a person's post then suddenly stop doing so implies you no longer care about what that person is doing. "Not responding to a post is out of routine and visible for all to see," says Williams. This makes it clear to others that there is a feud, and it perpetuates conflict because it makes people want to take sides. Meanwhile, the passive-aggressive person intends to stir more trouble by doing nothing." YOU SUDDENLY CHANGE YOUR “RELATIONSHIP STATUS” Have you ever updated your relationship status to "single" after arguing with your partner? If you did it to intentionally hurt their feelings without having a proper discussion about the problem, you're deep in the passive-aggressive zone—and you just made a big social media mistake. You're basically saying, " I am upset with you," without doing anything about it. "A passive-aggressive person's goal is to punish and make the target person sad and angry, which is, of course, far from productive in resolving conflict," says Williams. YOU’RE NOT STRAIGHTFORWARD An interesting passive-aggressive approach is telling other people that you have a conflict with a person without telling the target person. "This is passive aggressive because the aggressor wants to alienate the target person from the larger clique," Williams asserts. "Unfortunately when the group is made aware of the conflict by the aggressor, the group cohesiveness trends towards the person telling the story about conflict, making it so much easier to alienate the target (since no one hears their side). Passive-aggressive behavior in this manner is actually a form of bullying." she says.
AARTAPPEL SOSATIES OOR DIE KOLE
Kook baba aartappels tot 95% gaar. Draai om elke aartappeltjie ‘n repie spek. Ryg nou die aartappels saam met ‘n groen of rooi kersie en sampioene op ‘n sosatie stokkie. Jy kan ‘n sousie maak van ‘n teelepel appelkooskonfyt, botter, garlic, droe pietersielie, sout en gemaalde swartpeper en dit oorsmeer terwyl dit op die kole le – Of jy kan selgs bbq sous of Jimmy sous oorsmeer.
In this organization, horseback riding is more than just a pastime; it's a chance to change your life. BY CHRISTINA PFENNING CRAIG Debra Avery has been a horse lover since she was a little girl in San Diego. Her family couldn’t afford a steed of its own, so Debra borrowed rides at the local equestrian center, gaining the confidence only found atop a horse. Years later, she married into an equally equine-crazed family and fell in love with a black-and-white American Paint Horse named Skunk on her father-in-law’s ranch in central California. Debra remembered those early days, and the lessons she learned with the mares and ponies at the riding center, and wanted to help other young women reap the benefits of connecting with horses. “I always wanted to run a horse program for girls like me,” says Debra. “I wanted to help them gain the courage to be around a horse and to care for a horse.” Serendipity struck one day at the Los Angeles Equestrian Center as Debra trotted Skunk beside fellow rider Judith Hopkins. Debra mentioned an inheritance from her father-in-law and her desire to use it to serve underprivileged girls. Judith had the same dream— and a name for the organization. They founded Taking the Reins (TTR) in 1998. Today it occupies 2½ acres along the Los Angeles River, just minutes away from the Hollywood sign and Dodger Stadium. The organization serves more than 400 young women per year in after-school, weekend, and summer programs that feature horse riding and care, gardening and even competitive horse showing. Most participants live below the poverty line and often have not had reliable housing for more than six months at a time. Few have previous horse experience. Modeled after 4-H’s six pillars of character, TTR uses farm and ranch experiences to teach its own four pillars of development: responsibility, leadership, teamwork, and self-confidence. Says Executive Director Dr. Jane Haven, “A large number of our girls are on the autism spectrum. I can’t count how many of them have found their first social friends thanks to sharing this hobby and activity. Horses bring them out in such a wonderful way.” Jane also sees members of TTR’s mentoring program excel in school—100 percent of the women involved for four years or more have graduated high school. Ninety-nine percent of those participants have gone on to attend four-year colleges. Debra sees a more tangible impact—after a few weeks in the TTR program, the young women sit a little higher in their saddles. “There’s just something about sitting up on the back of a horse that gives them a boost of confidence.”
From cancer to migraines to arthritis, researchers have recently made some exciting advances in early diagnosis and treatments. BY MARY S. AIKINS
Imagine the day when a blood test could predict whether you are likely to have a heart attack within five years, thus allowing you and your medical practitioner to do everything possible to prevent such an event. Well, another simple blood test, developed by researchers at the National Heart and Lung Institute, Imperial College London, promises to do just that. If clinical trials are successful, instead of using age, sex, cholesterol and blood pressure levels and medical history to evaluate your risk of heart problems, the new test looks at protective antibodies that already exist in your system. These immune-system-produced antibodies, called IgG, seem to shield the body from a heart attack, even when cholesterol and blood pressure are high. In the trial, those with the highest number of IgGs had a 58 percent lower risk of developing coronary heart disease or having heart attack. These individuals also had a 38 percent lower chance of suffering a stroke during the five-year trial period.
Professional contortionist Leilani Franco (UK) attempts to break her own record for the Most full body revolutions maintaining a chest stand in one minute. This physically demanding exploit requires Leilani to lie with her chest against the floor, her back arched and her legs stretched over her body with her feet on the ground in front of her face. Her legs then make full revolutions around her seemingly-elastic body. Leilani achieves a total of 29 revolutions, successfully breaking her former record of 25. Since joining the circus at the age of 19, the extremely-flexible performer has perfected her contortion act and has already entered the record books on a number of occasions. She first attempted this particular challenge on television competition Britain’s Got Talent back in 2012, where she reached the semi-finals. Her unique skills impressed judge Simon Cowell, who said: “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life.” Leilani also holds the record for the Fastest time to travel 20 m in a contortion roll (17.47 sec), which earned her a place in the Guinness World Records 2014 Edition. “I grew up reading the Guinness Book of World Records every Christmas with my family and to be part of it and in it is the funniest, strangest feeling,” she said during an interview at the time.
FEBRUARY 11/02/2017
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Did You Know? Approximately 150 million Valentine's Day cards are exchanged annually, making Valentine's Day the second most popular cardsending holiday after Christmas.
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