Rockstar.Dinosaur.Pirate.Princess
4
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Winter 2018
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Issue 53
Current issues
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5
Experiences of women at gigs
7
Day by day by day
9
#creepinessintensifies
11
Guest article Feminism & BDSM
14
A painful reminder
16
Absences and beginnings
18
“I wish we talked more about...”
22
Thoughts on grief
24
. Help with the
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enemy within
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38
Deeper meanings
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26
Unsafe words
28
What do rapists look like?
30
Objection? sustained!
32
Just anxious
34
The apple doesn’t fall very far
36
feminist fatigue
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Fun stuff? 40
How to have a unicorn birthday
42
Dancing with myself
46
woman to woman
48
Dinosaurs for democracy
50
Consent!
52
On the bonfire
56
Dino’s for feminism
58
.
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. Not actually that complicated
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Taboos
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60
RDPP’s 9 super sex tips
62
What do rapists look like?
64
Our bodies, our future
66
Journey’s end?
68
epilogues and new adventures
70
last words and credits
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EXPERIENCES of women at gigs & clubs Co- blog with Amodelofcontrol.com Some time ago, Adam at
I leaped at the opportunity to help
amodelofcontrol.com got in
women’s voices be heard – as a former
touch with me as a few
singer in a metal band (yes, the “rockstar”
recent experiences and
is the one out of four that I managed to
conversations had made
achieve, albeit briefly) I’ve faced my (un)fair
him realise how little he’d
share of harassment both as a performer
known of the harassment
and a gig/club goer.
many of his fellow female
I have also experienced the
music fans experienced for
downright soul destroying experience of
the crime of Being Women In
trying to talk about it only to be shut down;
Public Spaces.
told I am over-reacting, exaggerating,
He asked if I would
complaining about nothing, not being
help gather stories from
flattered enough and all the other sorts of
my blog followers to help
things women get told when we talk about
him write a piece aimed at
the crap that happens to us, apparently
encouraging other men to
because some men can’t treat women as
understand the scale of the
humans deserving of either respect or
problem, and think about
bodily autonomy.
what men can do to help change the culture.
Unsafe Words Feeling safe is a privledge A few weeks ago, just before Christmas,
My body floods with adrenaline.
I was in a queue waiting to pay for some
Fear. Revulsion. I tense. There’s a
food I’d just ordered to eat on the train
stranger touching me, in public. I
home after my evening class.
freeze, a rabbit in front of a fox; a fox
I was listening to music playing as I
in front of a hunter. I hear a voice
often do. A man’s face appeared right next shouting. Some powerful and strong to my face, too sudden, too close. It made
Amazonian warrior steps in and she
me jump a little. I leaned back, pushing one is dealing with this man in a loud and earphone back as I realised he was talking
brave way. I am terrified and shaking
to me.
as all the memories of the other times
“Sorry darling can I just push in? My train is I’ve been touched without consent in five minutes”.
or approached by strangers, always
“So’s mine” I started to say.
men, wanting my time or my body and
The rest of the sentence would have been
reacting with fury and with all too
“and I have already ordered, so you’d need
coherent rage when denied one or
to check with the person behind me” but
both.
went unsaid. As I started to speak, this man, this
“DON’T TOUCH WOMEN YOU DON’T KNOW” this Amazonian is
stranger who had already inserted himself roaring. “Don’t touch women you into my personal space and called me
don’t know. You don’t know what’s
“darling”, placed his hand on my hip. It was
happened to them in the past. Just
the hand I couldn’t see, placed around
don’t.” She roars.
the other side of my body, effectively
I shake. She sounds like me. Who is
holding me in a light embrace, trapping me this women using my voice to make between his arm and the counter. It was a
such a scene? Everyone is staring at
gentle touch, not particularly forceful, and
her.
it seemed entirely thoughtless, careless, casual.