On March 2nd till 4th, 35 people got together for a good time of splashing fun and sun in a camp themed The Bumble Bee Camp. The group made up of mostly students from the Nottingham University in Semenyih, a few from UKM and a handful of young adults. It was interesting to see how people from all over Malaysia as well as overseas, having a good time making new friends, working together as a team and enjoying the time of worship unto the same God in heaven.
• Teambuilding
Pastor Clement Wong was the guest speaker and it was his amusing and witty personality that made the sessions out of the ordinary. On the last night of the camp, groups prepared beforehand and came up with remarkable performances, showing off to the crowd the talents each of them have. Each presentation brought much reaction from their audiences with their delighted cheers, laughs and sneers. The camp reached its objective of building bridges and giving CZoners an opportunity to know more of each other.
• Nubee
• Passionate worship sessions
• Ps Clement
• Bible quiz
• How is this supposed to work out between us
• Samson & Delilah
• Beengo
• Group pic
• Clean plates
• Hi bee
• Newspaper, sand & bucket monument
• Morning devotion
• Grace leading worship
On April 14th, rain or shine, a total of 1500 Christians from all over Kajang and beyond decided that they wanted to march and pray for Kajang. There was no stopping this army in red, armed with banners, flags, songs and dances of praise and their smiles as they throng the streets of Kajang town, painting it red. It was truly a wonderful sight to see believers from different denominations and languages coming together on this day itself for the event. The March started off from the Holy Family Church, up towards Kajang town through the Convent school, across the Police Station and the MPKJ building and ended back at the starting point through Jalan Bukit. It was sunny and then it was drizzling, but the light rain did not dampen the people’s spirits. The Kajang Traffic police provided great help in controlling the traffic and allowing the people to walk safely across vehicles. The whole event took 2 hours beginning from 4.00pm till 6.00pm.
• The long red trail
• Traffic stopper
• African friends
• Red for stop and green for go
• Keeping people in line
• Worship session inside the Holy Family hall
values I have inculcated in them all these years influencing them to make godly decisions. Parent C: Joy comes in daily packages. Clasped between sunrise and sunset are the times spent together in all sorts of activities. Joy is being together as a family. Parents D & E: Bringing up children is not a smooth journey. It is a joy of course when you see God’s work in them. Parent F: To see them serving and loving our God is one of my greatest joys. 3. What has been a difficult time for you? Parent A: To make each one of them feel that I love them equally; that in my eyes, each is special in his/her own way. Parent C: To know that God has placed this child in our care comes with a responsibility and it is a difficult responsibility.
Recently 180 Degrees asked some parents at KAOG about their parenting experience and it’s interesting and enlightening to hear it straight from their hearts. We apologise for not being able to obtain more views from other parents. 1. What would you say is one significant/memorable experience as a parent so far? Parents A & B: The day each child was born is significant and the process of each child growing up. Parent C: The birth of life is truly THE most significant and memorable! To see a baby grow under your care is an experience of life itself, all over again. Parents D & E: It is the witnessing of the birth of our child in the operating theatre. It is an experience that cannot be forgotten. Parent F: One of my memorable experiences is to receive a note from one of my sons saying that I am the most awesome mom in the world. Getting personal homemade cards with words of love from my children always thrill me. It shows that they take the time and they really care. 2. What has been a joy for you as a parent? Parent A: It has been a great joy for me to be there for them, to grow with them, to go through important stages in their lives and to see that the
Parents D & E: When we were both working parents, it was not easy to cope with the daily pace and requirements, especially when we faced trouble in bringing up our eldest one as we didn’t have any experience then. Even our neighbour had to run over to our house to teach us how to feed him correctly with a milk bottle! Parent F: When they first have their driving licence, they experience their new-found freedom. I often have to limit the time they should be back and the friends they go out with. That is stressful. 4. Have you ever felt that God was teaching you something through your parenting experience? Parent A & B: Yes, leadership. Being parents automatically put us in the position as leaders. More so the relationship between parents and children make us our children’s most relevant leader. This God-given leadership must be acknowledged and taken up. The important responsibility is foundation building. The foundation is trust in our Lord Jesus and dependence on Him. To carry this out, we face a constant struggle because it is against the value system of this world which favours self-confidence and independence. We fully trust that by taking up this firm stand and waiting upon Him, all His promises for us and our children will come to pass. Parent C: I’ve come to realise that if I love my daughter, how much more God loves me! Parents D & E: Yes. We have to be sensitive to
God’s word and believe that God has created each individual in a unique way. We have also learnt to be always grateful for what we have in our children, not what we do not have. Parent F: I always ask God for wisdom because every phase of parenting is different. One of the things I’ve learnt is that children are always watching what we do. They are quick to point out when we do certain things that are inconsistent with what we teach or ‘lecture’ them about. They keep us on our toes. 5. What strengths do you see in your child/children? Parent A & B: 1st child – very helpful, sympathetic, thrifty, responsible, trustworthy, reliable and has a strong determination, business acumen and leadership qualities; 2nd child - very helpful, sympathetic, patient, kind, empathizes with others, trustworthy, fair and has leadership qualities; 3rd child: clean, systematic, responsible and affectionate. Parent C: The strength in her is for her to discover in this journey of hers. As parents, we provide only the tools, the Bible being the manual of utmost importance. Parents D & E: Their strength is they can depend on their heavenly Father and to always have a positive outlook.
7. If you have a chance to start your parenting experience all over again, would you do it differently? Parent A: No. The process and timing that God has brought me through my parenting experience is more than acceptable to me. I fully trust that I am on the right track as long as I am following Him. Parent C: Given a chance, I would do it all over again exactly as it has been done. She is my first and only experiment. I don’t plan for the future. It’s the tomorrow that matters to me. Parents D & E: We do not know as the journey to bring up a child is not over yet. Children of different ages need different methods of guidance and we have different worries and headaches! One day we have to release our hands and pass them to the mighty hand of God. Parent F: I am glad that the Lord has guided me right from the start. I call on to Him each day for wisdom. I think that is the only way I know how to be a parent. 8. If your spouse and children are believers, have you been able to serve God together as a family? Parent A & B: Yes. It is our intention to minister to dysfunctional families - parents to parents, and children to children using our family as a model.
Parent F: I find that my children often praythe same way I pray, using the same words or Scriptures to pray. So it is important to pray with them and set consistent family time for praying and sharing of the Word.
Parents D & E: Everything needs to have a good balance. It is tough to decide between studies (or work) and church work. It is always a joy to serve Him as a family. How marvellous if we can see more families with more dedication to the work of God.
6. Have you ever felt sad/disappointed with your child/children? When that happened, what did you do? Parent A: Yes, I had - many times. I told my children how I felt, shared with my spouse and prayed about it.
Parent F: Our prayer is always “As for me and my household we will serve the Lord”. I realized God calls all of us to do different things. I always encourage my children to use their talents to serve God. So we individually do what the Lord has called us to do with the talents He has given us. As a family, I believe we need to declare God’s glory and my prayer is that my children will not depart from God when they grow up.
Parent C: Bringing up a child isn’t a bed of hibiscus! Yet, upon reflection, I could not recall the torns! Parents D & E: Of course, they are like us. They also make mistakes in life. We must be quick to correct them. Do not delay the correction. Parent F: Yes, when they fight and are not nice to one another. Many times I have to teach them to maintain peace at home.
Children are a heritage from the Lord; a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior…. (Ps 127:3-4a)
The first year of the child’s birth is stressful but adjustments come soon after, especially if there is support from the extended family. The primary school years are demanding on both the child and the parents but younger parents today are less ambitious than those from their parents’ generation, not having gone through deprivation in their youth and hence not having the compunction to succeed. Except for the tons of homework they need to go through with their child, the stress is bearable if their jobs are not over demanding. For many, the test comes when their child reaches his teens. The generally compliant child with chubby cheeks who usually likes to be with mummy and who will do his schoolwork with small bribes has become a total stranger!
‘A virus?’ I laughed. A psychologist on the radio talk show had offered the analogy that children were like viruses. My initial uncomfortable reaction was quickly replaced by recognition of some truth in that description. Basically, there are the bad and the good viruses, as our family doctor often tells us. The good viruses strengthen our body’s resistance to illnesses but when they invade in a ‘bad way’, we need to take care to prevent lasting damage to our system. Children are like viruses testing the foundation of marriages. The cracks will appear; with the onslaught of bringing up children these cracks will widen and cause irreparable damage if the foundation had fatal flaws in the first place.
The hair becomes spiky, the trousers two or three sizes too big, the pimply face moody and morose, and the slouch no amount of threats can correct! The phone is constantly engaged and the bedroom door is always shut. A simple request to tidy up the room becomes a huge battle of wills. There is some exaggeration here but some horror stories from friends are worse. Dr Kit Ng, a psychologist interviewed by The Straits Times in June 2005 commented, ‘Puberty is the time when teens look at their own feelings and want more time for themselves. It is not possible to search for an identity and still cling unto the parents as before. Nine times out of ten, the child won’t want to cling.’ That search for identity is important. This is why any broken relationships (be they childhood friendships or budding romances) are traumatic. In my experience as a principal of a junior college, teens even attempt suicide because of failed relationships. Counseling and addressing the issue
is important when your teen loses a friend or has serious tiffs with his peers. Your teen is now a stranger in the home. Previously you were his ‘significant other’. There is now a dramatic shift. You want to be important in his life. You deserve to be consulted. After all, you are responsible for him. You can still remember the countless sleepless nights catering to his needs and endless changes of soiled diapers. My advice is to give him space but monitor from a discrete distance and intervene (in a helpful way) only when you need to. How are you to intervene meaningfully in your teen’s identity journey? To be rebuffed will be painful to your ego and may lead to alienation. Dr Kit Chan, in the same interview, was reported to say that ‘Parents are like guardians to whom teens can look for answers. So, it is vital to develop a relationship with them early, and find out more about the process of puberty.’ It was therefore alarming when the newspapers reported of alienation between teens and their parents because they stop communicating. Parents, probably caught up with the demands of their jobs, fail to realize the importance of maintaining an open channel of communication. The alienation is so complete that for one particular teen, ‘talk is frustrating’ and each communication inevitably ends up as a shouting match. My personal experiences dovetail with the advice of Dr Kit Chan. It is important for parents to understand the process of puberty, know our teens and love them to the extent of allowing them to discover their interest, talents and preferences. Where there are disputes, it’s important to negotiate for a fair solution. A fair solution may not always be the solution your teen desires but it’s something he is willing to compromise on (not because he has no choice in the
mater or he has no opportunity to do what he likes behind your back) but because he respects you and knows intuitively that you love him. In the heat of passion during a disagreement the teen tends to be blinded by his own sense of right and wrong which can be either ‘black or white and nothing in between’, hence his confidence in your acceptance and love has to be ingrained! In most cases of disenchanted youths and their anti-social and disconnected behavior, it is easy to trace back to a history of neglect or absent/busy parents. Dr Kit Chan said, ‘Teens need a structure to their lives. Research has shown that 80 to 90 percent of teens who do not have authority in their lives get into drugs, alcohol and bad company as well as develop behavioral problems.’ Parents must be there for the teen (as a quiet and reassuring presence). The occasional bouts of anti-social behaviour at home and the irritability are normal. The teen can find comfort in the serenity of home when faced with betrayals or rejection from the outside. With that supportive structure, he is likely to turn to you for comfort or counsel. Communication is important but it’s not ceaseless chatter and telling your teen what’s good for him. You communicate your care and concern in listening when he’s ready to talk, in making his special or favourite dish when he’s moody or inviting his friends over for a short break (after the exams) and providing lots of ‘junk’ food (in my brother’s case, it’s instant noodles and coke!) May you have the thrill of understanding the word ‘impossible’ in your journey with your teen!
Tim, Lisa, Zach, Brette, Andrew, and Emily are all pushing 15. Since none of these teenagers is mine, the odds are good that we can have an actual conversation made up of complete sentences. Between the six of them, the one of me, a super-sized bucket of deep-fried chicken parts, eight king-size orders of fries, and seven 44 oz. bottles of pop, we have only two goals in sight: to eat the bountiful feast set before us, and to clarify what they wish parents (nutsy-weirdedout-totallyuncool and otherwise) knew about junior highers.
First, a few facts: I am pushing 40. My son is pushing 15. When I was pushing 15, I thought my parents were nuts. I swore I’d never be like them when I had kids of my own. Today, my son thinks I’m nuts. He swears he’ll never be like me when he has kids of his own. It appears that the universal life cycle is repeating itself only this time with me in the starring role of nutsy-weirdedout-totallyuncool-mother. Just what I needed. As if laundry and mopping weren’t enough to drag down my day. Even though I work with lots of teenagers who seem to like me just fine, the one in my house isn’t so sure. That’s why I set out on a mission to find out what is it about teenagers that makes them think we’re out to get them. I wanted to know what goes on inside their heads and how to navigate their ever-changing moods. I wanted to know what teenagers need from us as parents so I went straight to the source.
What I Wish You Knew. ... About School It’s like a soap opera. It’s horrid. And great. And awful. And fun. Do you know how hard it is to be myself? Just because I might be feeling okay about who I am doesn’t mean life is easy. I still feel like I need to always watch what I say, how I dress, and who I talk to. If I do something wrong, everyone might laugh at me, or think I’m an idiot, or make fun of me. If you could see how bad some of the kids get teased, you wouldn’t believe it. Sometimes I actually feel sick to my stomach when I hear what people get called. With the guys, there’s this whole “tough” routine. With the girls, there’s this whole who-aremy-friends-going-to-be-today gossip thing. One day, things are great. The next day, you’re just a nobody. Was it like that for you? It’s like that for me. Some days, it’s all I think about. Teachers aren’t always nice, right, or fair. You’ve got to believe me on this-my teachers are not always the same at school as they are at parent-teacher conferences. They’re not always friendly and smiley and chatty and encouraging to me, like they are to you. Some of my teachers are cool. They seem to really love teaching, and they seem to care about students. But some of the others, well, I don’t even know why they’re there. They obviously hate it. Do you know what it’s like to spend half of my day with
adults who treat me like a number instead of a person? It’s tough to be a Christian at school. Remember what I said about kids getting picked on? As a Christian, I know I should do something about it. But what do you want from me? Am I supposed to tell the bullies they should stop? Right. There goes any hope of getting through junior high in one piece. Am I supposed to make friends with the person getting picked on? If so, what if my other friends dump me because of it? I want you to know that I honestly try to think about being a Christian at school. I try to say “hi” to kids who usually get ignored. I try to avoid conversations that aren’t healthy. A few times in class, I’ve tried to say what I think about issues like sex (yes, sometimes we talk about it in class), certain movies, and other stuff. So far I haven’t been rejected by the other kids. But it scares me to think about them calling me names or talking about me behind my back. If that happens, what am I supposed to do? What I Wish You Knew. ... About Yourself You give The Look a lot. Both of you hate it when the other one gives you The Look. You know, Dad, the face Mom makes when you forget to take out the garbage for the 18th time. You know, Mom, the face Dad makes when he finds out that you spent a ton of money on an ugly piece of furniture. Well, guess what? I hate it when you give me The Look, too, even if I’ve messed up and I deserve it. School, grades, friends, the way my room looks, the music I listen to, the things I say. It seems like they all earn The Look. Do you know how The Look makes me
feel? Guilty. Small. Stupid. It’s like you think I’m too dumb to understand the English language, so instead, you just look at me to tell me how you feel. I wish you’d just say whatever it is you want to say, even if it might be hard for me to hear. At least then I don’t have to guess what The Look means. Sometimes you act like I’m not here. Sometimes when you and Dad talk to each other, or when one of you is talking to another adult, you talk about me-while I’m standing there and can hear what you’re saying. Sometimes the things you say about me are complimentary and loving. Sometimes they’re not. Either way, when you ignore me like that, I feel like I don’t even exist. I don’t want you to say negative things about me to other people, especially since some of them aren’t true. And the things that are true, well, I wish they could be more private. Just between you and me. Not between you and me, and everyone you know. You have bad timing. I know I’m not supposed to hate anyone or anything (believe it or not, I do pay attention in Sunday School) but I do hate this one thing: I hate it when I just start to do something for myself, like watch TV, listen to a CD, read a book, send e-mail to my friends, do homework, practice basketball, whatever, and then you ask me (or tell me) to mow the lawn, feed the dog, clean the cat litter, pick up my room, or do something else around the house. You don’t like it when I try to talk to you while you’re reading the paper. You don’t like it when I call and ask for a ride home from school while you’re making supper. You don’t like it when I want to watch a movie while you’re watching the news. You probably don’t mean to do it, but it feels like you watch for the very mo-
ment I’m finally relaxed or busy and then, Wham! “Honey, didn’t I ask you to put the papers out in the recycling bin?” I remember what I’m supposed to do (most of the time), but I don’t always feel like doing things the minute you ask me to do them. What I Wish You Knew. ... About Me I need to be alone. I know you like to do things as a family. I do, too. I’m glad that we eat dinner together. A lot of my friends don’t do that. I’m glad that we go on vacation together. I’m even glad we go to church together. I might not go otherwise.
When I make mistakes, it’s a huge deal. When you make mistakes, I’m supposed to drop it. Why? “Just because”? I don’t get it. I know you’re the parents and I’m the kid, but it doesn’t always seem fair. If you’ve got a good reason for doing or saying something, can you at least tell me what it is? I’m not a baby anymore. I feel stuck. I’m not old enough to drive. I’m not old enough to quit school. I’m not old enough to get married. I’m not old enough to live on my own.
But I’m getting older and I don’t want to do everything together anymore. You probably think it’s because I want to be with my friends all the time. Yes, I like being with my friends, but I also like being alone. When I’m alone, I can think, and believe me, I’ve got a lot to think about. I can write in my journal. I can try to work through confusing feelings. I can blow off steam after a rotten day at school. I can just be.
One minute, I really need you to tell me you love me. The next minute, I really need you to leave me alone and respect my privacy. Some days you get it exactly right. Other days, you get it all wrong. I wish it were easier for us to understand each other. I wish there were a way for us to really know what to do and say. I didn’t know it was going to be so hard to be a teenager.
I used to hate being alone. Not anymore. In some ways, it seems like the only time I can be really free and truly me is when I’m by myself. When I go to my room and shut the door, it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m mad, or that I don’t want to be with you, or that there’s some major problem. It just means I need some solitude. I’m not always wrong. Yeah, yeah, I’m not always right, either. But come on. There are times when I’m right. I guess it’s not a good idea for me to correct you in front of other people because I don’t like it when you do that to me. But is it okay for me to correct you when we’re alone? If you say, “I’ve asked you 20 times to clean your room,” can I say, “No, you’ve only asked me once,” or does that make you mad? I’m not trying to be disrespectful or snotty. Honest. I just don’t want you to exaggerate my mistakes.
But I’m not a baby, either.
By the way, I love you. I probably don’t say it enough. Maybe if I can get some of this other stuff off my chest-you know, clear the air-then it’ll be easier for me to say, “I love you, too.” Crystal Kirgiss is the mother of three and a leader with Young Life. She and her family live in Minnesota, where people drink pop. Copyright © 2001 by the author or Christianity Today International/Christian Parenting Today magazine. Click here for reprint information on Christian Parenting Today. November/December 2001, Vol. 14, No. 2, Page 28
dream turns out to be more a nightmare. Often the programs and especially the youths themselves do not turn out the way they should or as we would have preferred. Why? Often we say that the problem must lie with the youths of this generation – spoilt brats that they are! In the past we were never like that. Isn’t this what we naturally conclude?
I’m not a Girl. Not yet a Woman… Feels like I’m caught in the middle. -lyrics from ‘I’m not a Girl. Not yet a Woman’ by Britney Spears The words of the song are very simple but they echo a great sense of helplessness. The stage in life known as teenager/youth can be such a state. Wit the body undergoing numerous physical changes and zillions of hormones raging within, causing emotions to wreak havoc and the mind constantly in battle with thoughts, ideas and opinions, it is a really tough phase to handle. And remember teenagers are not men or women yet. This phase will pass, as they say, but how teenage years are handled will have a great impact on the rest of life. And we can play a part in making that outcome as positive as possible. As a young child grows, the realm of influence that he or she treasures changes too – from parents to teachers to friends. The teenage stage will see an increase in the importance of friends and the views that are held. Realizing this trend will help us to be more prepared and to adjust our expectations. So often when we join a youth ministry, we adopt a superhero mentality that we can change and mold the ministry into perfection and thus save all youths. We have big dreams. But with each passing day, the
If we want to be in youth ministry, we must stop living and reminiscing the past. Time has passed and the world has moved on. Youth of today are different. According to Alexis de Tocqueville (a French political thinker and historian in the 19th century), ‘Each generation is a new people.’ Thus new method and strategies will be needed to reach out to them. Before we (with our immense amount of enthusiasm) begin to jump into action, we better take a baby step first and try to understand the characteristics of the youths of today. Youths today no longer come from big families. And sometimes he or she may be the only child. And with both parents working, the child can get quite lonely and in place of quality time and relationship, material goods can become a substitute. The child is often quite sheltered too – from harm and danger and also from the world. With technology progressing with such tremendous speed and the ability to afford it, our youths are exposed to more and thus they become better informed and more exposed to ideas and influences. With more information, there is also more expectation, stress and peer pressure. It isn’t easy to be a youth today. The youth ministry and its leaders will need to catch up with technology too because this is the very medium of communication of the young generation – emails, sms, blogs, msn, etc. You can dismiss it by saying that it is impersonal and you may be quite right, but youths respond to such
medium and its language very readily and comfortably. If we do not learn their preferred medium, communication with them will gradually diminish. And besides, learning modern technology and language will benefit us too. With the youths becoming more knowledgeable and hopefully more intelligent, many of them will not accept an idea or concept or issue without questioning its authenticity. It is the same with relationship and friendship. Being real and gaining their trust will be important. Give them time and give yourself time because trust is cultivated through time. Our lifestyles as Christian leaders should speak about our faith in the Lord. Walk the talk and let the love of Christ shine forth. They are always watching us! As youth leaders, we must also bear in mind that youths do not need another set of parents or another school teacher. Rather, le us give them our time and a listening ear. Let us be a friend and a mentor. Help them develop accountability in our relationship with them.
If you can give an award to your mum and dad, what award would you give (for e.g. Most Patient Mum, Most Loving Smile, Most Understanding Dad, Best Cook, etc etc – be creative ; it is what YOU think about your mum and dad, not what others would think.)
Ministry is also about teamwork. You will need a team who shares the passion with you for the youths. Other than fellow ministry leaders, the team can also include parents. There is a lot of synergy when parents lend their support and approval to the ministry and the things that we do. Involve the older youths in the ministry too and not just adult leaders. Let the older ones learn from you. Give them responsibilities and you provide guidance and encouragement. And cheer them on. Remember that we are called to be good stewards of not just our own gifts but of those under us too. Empower the youths. We can help young people to fulfill 2 Timothy 2:22. Let us help them ‘flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.’ We can help them become youths with clean hands and a pure heart. And remember, have FUN with your youths!
ISAAC BOO 15
AARON LEE 14
MUM : Liew Mun Keng • Most kindest and Understanding Mum Always let me go outing with my friends and give me money whenever I really needed it
MUM : Anita Lee Because she gave birth to me, guide me, discipline me. She loves me the most.
DAD: Michael Boo • Most Patient Dad Because dad doesn’t get angry easily when I make situations that are very possible for him to get mad at.
DAD : Johnny Lee He’s the best father. He cares for me. The most is always give me money to spend.
VICTOR TAN 18
JOEL DASS 18
JEREMIAH DASS 15
MUM : Best Cook Because she has the best recipe.
MUM : Naomi Dass, Best Cook Every kind of food that she cooks for the first time rocks!!
MUM : Naomi Dass, Best Cook The food very nice
DAD : Best Driver Who drives me around.
DAD : George Dass, Coolest Dad He loves Planetshakers and Hillsongs United.
DAD: George Dass, Most Understanding Dad Very Understanding
I’ve learnt a lot as I attend Sunday service, courses and conferences. God has ministered to me through His word in the Bible. I have learned to have faith in Him, seeking His love, growing a lot as a believer. I was able to use tongue speaking to communicate with Him. (WELL, I was still really new and was really scared about it)… Slowly, I was able to understand God’s will in me and to trust in Him with all of my heart. I believe that someday He will show miracles to both my parents as I believe in this phrase ‘where one is saved the others in the family will be saved too!’. As I slowly see miracles begin to happen in my family where my uncle and his family started to attend Sunday service. (well…he’s a Buddhist believer before He started to attend church with his family). I believe that one day God will open up my parent’s heart.
I’ve accepted Christ as my saviour the past 2 years in a Christian youth camp. Well, my friend (Rachel Tan) is the one who has brought me to know Christ the Saviour. As I’ve accepted Christ, I’ve told my mum about it and she strongly disagree with my decision. God really answered my prayer. Slowly, my dad has started to accept me by allowing me to attend church activities and even reading the Bible. But he still warns me by asking me not to accept Christ. I’ve gone through a lot of trouble last year. As a new Christian believer, I am still learning in seeking God’s true love.
Well I just wanna tell you guys and gurls that Christianity is not a religion but it’s a walking journey together with God. Recently, I have faced a lot of troubles and trials but I still continue to trust in Him and I know that He is always just right beside me to guide me and to help me. The Bible really plays an important role as the words in it speaks to me when I am down. To be continue to be faithful to Him and that is what my heart has truly desire for. Today, as I’m standing here… to tell you guys and gurls that knowing God is truly something special where you will never regret. For I’ve never regret accepting Christ as my saviour. He’s unafailing and everlasting love towards you will never change. For God so love us that He send His only son (Jesus Christ) to die on that cross for our sin. By Lee Mei Ling
threatened not to attend. I cursed the cruelty of a God who took away my father and left me with an ill, elderly mother who seemed impossible to please.
As our Bible study group began focusing on the Ten Commandments in Exodus 20, I felt pretty smug. After all, I didn’t worship more than one God, steal, commit adultery or murder, lie about my neighbors, or plot to cheat them out of what was rightfully theirs. But one evening we came to the command to honor our father and mother (v. 12). Against my will, I thought of my mother, who’d passed away ten years earlier. Honor her, when I felt more relief than sorrow at her death? The tears I cried at her funeral were those of an adult daughter who had never heard the words I most needed from her: “I’m proud of you.” My birth was Mother’s “midlife surprise.” When my father died less than four years later, I gave her a reason to go on. But in many ways my mother treated me like a small adult, and our relationship developed into an unhealthy codependency. Her attempts to shelter me from the world’s influences only fueled my insecurities; I grew from a spoiled child into an anxious, introverted adolescent. Complicating matters, Mother battled deteriorating health and depression, but because of the rigid faith-healing religion she adhered to, she shunned medical intervention. By the time I reached my teens, my mother had sunk into a state of apathy. The more I attempted to earn her praise—with high grades, awards, and interscholastic competitions—the more rejected I felt by her indifference. During my senior year, I earned a major role in a drama production that she never attended. Her only explanation was, “I didn’t feel up to it.” The following years were the same. When at age 20 I met the man I’d later marry, my mother openly resented him. Her bigoted remarks about his ancestry horrified us both. During more rational moments, she showed brief motherly interest in our wedding plans, but at the last minute
After my wedding, Mother’s downward spiral continued. Our visits usually deteriorated into criticisms about how I raised my children, reproach for my leaving the church in which she’d raised me (my husband had led me to a true faith in Christ), and unfavorable comparisons to other family members who “obviously” loved her more than I did. Mother’s poor health made travel difficult, and as a busy mom of two, I came up with excuses to avoid traveling to visit her. I let my older brothers worry over her. In the meantime, I struggled through several rounds of counseling to deal with low self-esteem and depression, all of which I blamed on my mother. Mother’s health finally worsened to the point she committed herself to a nursing home. I attempted a few family visits, hoping she’d enjoy seeing her granddaughters. But she showed little interest in them and often received me with such hostility that I left in tears. Congestive heart failure finally ended her life; she died a bitter, lonely woman. It wasn’t until after my mother’s death that I made the connection between her physical illness and her mental state. When I discussed her health symptoms with my physician, he suspected the culprit was hypothyroidism, which left untreated can lead to serious physical and psychological problems, including personality changes and even psychosis. Grasping the role Mother’s illness played in our broken relationship, I resented even more her tenacious reliance on the pseudo-Christian faith-healing religion I already blamed for taking my father before his time. At my mother’s funeral, I studied her features as she lay in the casket. Even in death, her lips seemed pressed into a condemning frown, the same embittered expression that stared back at me from her last professional photograph. Two years after her death, a job-related move took my husband and me to another city. I didn’t even unpack the portrait, but hid it away in a box in the attic.
As we settled into a new church home, I found spiritual nourishment. Day by day I fell more deeply in love with God as he filled my emptiness and revealed himself as my perfect parent. My studies helped me recognize the spiritual growth I’d experienced during those difficult times with my mother. Her neglect of health increased my determination to take care of myself for my family’s sake as well as my own. Her disinterest in my life prompted my enthusiasm for my children. Her unwholesome dependence helped me release my now-adult daughters into God’s care as they went their own ways. Accepting the promise of Romans 8:28, that God works all things together for the good of those who love him, I stopped blaming God for giving me a “defective” mother and thanked him for the life lessons I’d gained. Yet repeatedly my spiritual path brought me to the fact I still carried a grudge. Finally, that night at the Bible study, I came face-to-face with my hardened heart. To harbor contempt and anger, to shut someone out of your life and memory because of perceived hurt or injustice—these aren’t the heart attitudes of forgiveness. I knew firsthand they punish the “victim” far more than the “villain.” I left the Bible class that night convicted to the core. Honor my mother? I asked God. In spite of everything? Yes, God answered, in spite of everything. But how was I to honor—to love, respect, and esteem—a parent I held responsible for so much heartache? I began by admitting I needed God’s help not only to confront my feelings toward her but also to confess my selfishness and lack of compassion. I acknowledged with gratitude that she gave me life and nurtured me the best she was able. I took into account the factors that had shaped her life, not the least of which were her own dysfunctional parents and later the lure of religious teachings that distorted God’s truth. The fact is, there are no perfect human parents, so I had no right to expect perfection from my mother. Since sin entered the world, every succeeding generation has carried its own “baggage” into parenthood. Hadn’t I done so with my children? As desperately as I wanted not to repeat my mother’s mistakes, when I battled recurring bouts of anger, resentment, and depression, my family inevitably suffered.
The next step was to let my mother back into my life, emotionally if not physically. Resolutely I climbed the attic stairs to retrieve her portrait, carried it to my desk, and stared at it a long time. I’m sorry, I silently told my mother. I haven’t honored you. I’ve tried to push you from conscious thought. I forgive you, and I pray you’ve also forgiven me for turning away from you. I want your memory to be a part of my life. An incredible peace filled me as God enabled me to do what I couldn’t do on my own: remember my mother with love. Suddenly I saw her as God created her to be, and was able to forgive—and in a small way forget—the hurtful things that had passed between us. Then an even more amazing thing happened. The bitter, condemning frown I’d always seen in Mom’s portrait now appeared as a serene smile. In my mother’s eyes I saw the acceptance and approval for which I’d yearned. Did the picture change? No. Nor were past hurts wiped out. What changed was my perception of the past, which in turn has positively affected my present and future. In forgiving and honoring her, I’m breaking the chains of bitterness in my life. My greatest regret is that I was unable to reach this place of forgiveness while my mother was still alive. For other adult children of “difficult” parents, there may still be time—even if you see little hope that he or she ever will become the loving, responsive parent for which you long. Our feelings toward hurtful parents, and our response to those feelings, can be healed only as we allow God to change our heart. We can choose not to carry the hurt inside us forever. We can choose to respect the good in them and forgive the rest. Mother, I honor you, I told her as I set the framed portrait on the bookshelf opposite my desk. Now I look at my mother’s image every day and imagine her looking back at me with love and pride. My heart swells with gratitude for the healing power of forgiveness and God’s command to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). Myra Langley Johnson is a freelance writer who lives in Texas. Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today International/ Today’s Christian Woman magazine. ]May/June 2007, Vol. 29, No. 3, Page 46
fasted for the first meal. It was not my first experience in fasting but what made it more meaningful to me was the session on prayer and fasting during that time. It was made clearer to me that my prayers will be more meaningful if I fasted. Later we had a session on the Holy Spirit. During this session, I began to realize that it would be really wonderful to have the Holy Spirit in me. The night session on intersession taught me that I was lucky to be able to talk to God about anything and anyone. I can not only pray for myself, my family but also all those people out there in the world whom I don’t know nor have I seen – all the nations of the world.
I want to thank God for the wonderful experience I had at the Sonshine Kids Prayer Retreat at Elim Centre from the 11/11 to 12/11. When I was first told about the Prayer Retreat, I was very curious. I really did not know what I would get out of it. I only had a rough idea that it would help to develop my relationship with Jesus. I wanted to find out more about it. So, I asked my parents if I could go. I found the retreat very interesting. When we arrived there, we had a short briefing and we were told that we are going to fast one meal during our prayer retreat. We
At the end of the session on intersession, we spent some time in prayer. During this time, I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. Maybe the feeling of how wonderful it will be to have the Holy Spirit in me that I was thinking about that evening started to make me want Him in my life. And God understood me better then I understood myself so I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. For me getting baptized in the Holy Spirit gave me an unusual feeling. I was really so very excited and happy. I don’t even know how to describe my happiness. All I know now is that the Holy Spirit is going to help me and be with me in every thing and every moment of my life. This camp has definitely done something to me which is so special. I’m sure this wonderful experience will help me grow much closer to God. I really want to thank and praise God for this great experience in my life. I also want to thank Pastor Calvin and all the teachers who made it possible for me to have this exciting experience and lots of other fun activities during the camp. Edwin Rakesh Chelliah
percaya disuruh mendoakan orang lain dan hamba Tuhan tumpang tangan untuk ayah saya juga. Pekerjaan Tuhan dan kuasa Tuhan terus mengalir dan ayah saya diubahkan dan hidup dalam pertaubatan.
Sedari kecil, saya dilahirkan dari keluarga Kristen (Kristen tradisi). Ayah saya juga seorang gembala di gereja. Setiap minggu, ayah saya sangat sibuk dalam hal penginjilan. Ayah saya juga memberkati orang dalam hal perkahwinan disamping memakai jubah hitam yang cantik yang hanya boleh dipakai oleh orang tertentu sahaja. Ayah saya sudah lama mengenal Tuhan. Namun dalam gereja tradisi ini, ayah saya juga seorang pemabuk, perokok dan adakalanya bermain judi (daun terup). Di gereja tradisi, itu tiada masalah (kerana itu sudah kebiasaan orang di sana khususnya orang kampung). Ibu saya tidak suka dengan sikap ayah saya yang selalu balik rumah dengan mabuk. Ibu sentiasa berdoa dengan tekun sekali. Kami anak-anaknya juga memang tahu tentang hal ini, tetapi kami tidak mempunyai pengetahuan yang luas tentang orang Kristen yang benar. Pada akhir tahun 1999, seorang pemuda tempatan yang sememangnya seorang pemabuk, perokok dan penjudi telah dipanggil Tuhan untuk kemuliaanNya. Setelah habis berpuasa 40 hari 40 malam dia memulai pekerjaan Tuhan di sekitar daerah dan mengubah sedikit cara menjadi orang Kristen yang benar. Kami tidak faham mengapa dia berdoa dengan bahasa roh. Ramai orang menyatakan itu adalah jampi mentera dari kuasa gelap. Pelayanan muda mudi dari rumah ke rumah menjadi semakin berjaya. Hampir setiap malam ada kebaktian di rumah. Kami juga melayani Tuhan tetapi bukan dengan kesungguhan. Ramai yang didoakan rebah dan menjadi tanda tanya kepada orang-orang di sekitarnya. Tidak lama kemudian, ayah saya yang kurang
Pada tahun 2000, saya ke ibu kota (Kota Kinabalu) untuk mencari pekerjaan. Saya juga sudah aktif dalam gereja. Setiap Ahad saya mesti ke gereja tetapi belum melayani. Saya mula dengan pelayanan baru pada Mei 2002. Majikan kami menyuruh kami pergi ke Kuala Lumpur untuk kerja dengan kawannya. Masa itu saya ke Bandar Teknologi Kajang. Dalam masa setahun saya tidak ke gereja kerana tidak tahu di mana gereja. Puji Tuhan setelah berdoa dengan lama, Tuhan membuka jalan. Seorang kenalan memperkenalkan saya kepada Pastor Julian. Pastor menyuruh saya ikuti keluarga Joel dan isterinya Jenny. Selalunya saya ikut mereka setiap Ahad. Kalau saya balik kerja lewat, saya jalan sendiri. Adakalanya khotbah sudah bermula baru saya sampai ke gereja, namun saya tetap bersyukur. Pada awal bulan Mei 2004, saudari Pui See memberitahu bahawa ada pekerjaan di Sungai Chua dan saya berpindah ke sana. Puji Tuhan sampai saat ini saya masih bekerja di sana. Saya sedang melayani Tuhan dan ada masa yang banyak untuk persekutuan di gereja. Dalam pelayanan, pada mulanya saya hanya susun kerusi hampir setiap minggu. Setelah itu, saya diberikan pelayanan penyambut tetamu, pelayanan pusat sumber, penyanyi latar, pemain muzik, pemimpin pujian dan di samping menjadi AJK kecil di KBM dalam pelbagai pelayanan yang lain. Terpujilah Tuhan atas segala kebaikanNya disepanjang hidup ini. Saranan saya agar kepada semua yang ada di luar sana, bergiatlah dalam Firman Tuhan. Kasih Tuhan tidak pernah berkesudahan dan berkatnya melimpah sampai akhir hidup kita. Kesaksian Pairin
door from the Lord. What is surprising was my husband did not refuse the invitation. For the first time, we went to church as a family. When the worship service started, I worshipped the Lord with my hands lifted up but my husband did not say anything. Pastor Hosea invited all the fathers to the front of the church and prayed for them. He also testified about the good things my husband had done as a father. That made my husband to shed tears. As we went back my husband mentioned that what our son did had touched him emotionally.
My name is Madam Thamilaham. I am 60 years old. I’m thankful to God for His goodness to enable me to share this testimony. In 1985, I accepted Christ Jesus as my personal savior. I came to know Christ Jesus through Rev. Rebecca and my son Hosea. During that time, Rev. Rebecca was conducting house meetings in my area. Because I’m Hindu, my husband stopped me from going to house meetings. But that did not stop me; my daughter and I continued to go without my husband’s knowledge.
In the year 2000, my husband had a serious stroke. He couldn’t speak. At that time I took the opportunity to share the Gospel in his ears. I told him that Jesus is the only one who can forgive his sins. I asked him to accept Jesus as his personal savior. He caught hold of my hands tightly and he wanted to say something but he couldn’t. after sometime, I repeated the Gospel and this time he nodded his head. Many pastors prayed for him and he accepted the Lord. A few weeks later, he passed away. The funeral service was held in a Christian service.
We got to know more about Christ and increased in our faith. I also shared the Gospel with my husband but he didn’t’ respond positively. Many days passed by but my husband still refused to accept Christ. During that period, I used to pray in the bathroom. Since my husband had stopped me from going to house meetings, Rev. Rebecca used to visit me in the morning. She taught and encouraged me to wait upon the Lord faithfully. As time passed, my husband did not bother much about me going to house meetings. That was the first open door from the Lord.
Although there were some who were against the idea of a Christian funeral service, the Lord enabled us to conduct the service smoothly. I have been praying earnestly for my children who were angry and who left me because I embraced Christianity. Recently, they came back after 5 years. Now my daughter and I are attending Kajang Assembly of God and she is serving as a staff in the church office. The Lord has faithfully blessed my family. Praise God for His love, grace and uncountable good things that He has done in me and my family.
During a Father’s Day celebration, my son, Pastor Hosea invited my husband to a church in Puchong. This is the second open
By Madam Thamillaham
Praise the Lord!
we are not only able to rehearse together in the church but we can also do our own rehearsals at home when the need arises since we know what is required and what programs would be carried out. My husband Tommy will oversee the musical aspect, be it technical or non-technical, including the praise and worship; my daughter Starling will handle the projector, backup, pledge reading, prayer warrior representative, ushering, at times choosing songs for care cell meetings (in one of the ministry nights with Pastor Kala, she chose a song that ministered beautifully to us) and whatever role that may be required of her; and, I will handle the various co-ordination tasks. At times, we encounter challenging situations or problems but we are able to sit down and discuss them. Thus, we handle the matter together instead of carrying the burden alone.
After Jesus had washed His disciples’ feet, He told us to serve one another just as He had. Thus serving God should not be an option but should be inculcated in the family which forms the basic unit of the body of Christ and the community. Mentoring our children to follow Jesus is the foremost duty of a Christian parent. Children will have a great opportunity to see the love and grace of God as parents follow and serve Christ. This can be an inspiration for them to follow and serve the Almighty God too. Though all of us have differing strengths, we are able to serve Christ together as a family within the same team in the Children Church and the care cell. As such,
As a result of serving Christ as a family, we are able to participate in activities and move along together without trying to “tag on” to each other. For instance, an outreach-on-the-park organized by our team or a retreat by the Children Church or a visit to an underprivileged home arranged by our care cell would see the 3 of us participating where each of our strengths can be employed to the maximum Though at times it can be trying and taxing serving God in such a manner, yet we feel good, honored and privileged doing His divine works together as a family. “But if you are unwilling to serve the LORD, then choose you this day whom you will serve……But as for me and my family, we will serve the LORD”. (Josh. 24:15) Jolly Ung
relationship. If the child goes to the father only because he wants things and never spends time with his dad, then there is no relationship. How will the dad feel? So is it with our heavenly Father. He knows our needs even before we ask, but first delight in(worship) Him. As for our other needs, He will make all things beautiful in His time. Spend quality time in the Word and approach Him with a heart of praise, thanksgiving and adoration for His many attributes - Omnipotent (Almighty), Omniscience (Powerful), Omniscience (Ever Present) to name a few. The aroma of God’s presence lingers in us wherever we go when we carry ‘worhip’ with us. I thank God for Bro Sebastian and Sis Harbir whom I partner with to go for the hospital ministry.
I always encourage a Christian to delight in the Lord, which is to obey and worship God for who He is and not because we want something from Him. Worship is therefore the lifestyle of a Christian. When we love someone, we do our utmost best to please the person. It’s the same with our heavenly Father. We need to spend time in the Word and the presence of God births forth peace. Fear can grip us for a short while but the peace of God will surely follow. See what Isaiah 24:3 says: “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Him, because he trusts in You.” Let us therefore delight in God. Just look at an earthly father-and-son
We share the gospel with patients, give them tracts and pray for them. A few patients have asked us why we took the trouble to do this. It is because of God’s love. Many of them even asked us to pray for them. We need more love, more power and more of God in our lives. Building an intimacy with God through worship (lifestyle,) Word, prayer, fellowship with Christians, etc, surely will help us to touch other lives and extend our borders to carry the good news to the people. Ps 34:10 “Even the young lions may grow weak and suffer hunger, but those who seek the Lord shall not lack anything good.” Sybil