Lake Murray Fish Wrapper 5-14-15

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, May 14, 2015 | 1

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"Official Newspaper of the Lexington County Blowwsh Baseball Team"

You supply the fish, we supply the wrapper.

Steal this paper — please!

INSIDE THIS WEEK

What you’re missing in the Lexington County Chronicle & The Dispatch-News: County libraries to be privatized?

Donald Trump wows at Freedom Summit Local officials praise Volvo jobs impact Sheriff’s election cost taxpayers $38K Lexington 1 budget, taxes could rise

Subscribe for our print and online editions! Only

$45 a year!

Call 359-7633

Photo by thomas grant, Jr. GW_Lexington_GO_LCC.pdf 1 5/6/15 playoff 10:17 PMmatch between Chapin and Berea.

A group of young fans join together to spell out “Go Chapin” during the May 9 Class 3A boys soccer Chapin won 4-1. More about it in the The Lexington County Chronicle or at lexingtonchronicle.com.

REGISTER TO WIN AN APPLE IPAD MINI Drawing will occur on Sunday, May 24th.

No purchase necessary. You do not have to be present to win.

9am – 9pm Monday – Saturday | 12 – 6pm Sunday | www.goodwillsc.org

Our employment specialists will help you conduct your job search.

Hours: 9am-12pm, 1pm-5pm Monday – Thursday A free service of Goodwill

2 | Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Fish Wrapper Fun Corner

Holy Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church - CLC

(Church of the Lutheran Confession) will celebrate “50 Years of God’s Grace” on Sunday, May 17th at 11:00 a.m., in the second of four special services throughout the year The congregation was formed by Lutheran Christians who came out of several churches that were no longer faithful to the teachings of the Bible, nor holding to the confessions of the Lutheran Reformation. Rev. Paul D. Notling, of Mankato, Minnesota, a “son” of the congregation, will deliver the message from Scripture: “A Time for Remembering.” Our church and school are located at 2920 Pelia Avenue, West Columbia, SC.

All are invited to come and hear the Word of God we still hold dear!

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The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Ashley Steele 359-7633

Tech talk

|

_

Blue Screen of Death You are diligently working on your computer.

You are furiously trying to get that last sentence in before you hit save.

Suddenly the computer screen goes to a blue screen and rudely beeps at you.

All it tells you is that Windows”encountered an error.”

What did you do to create this error?

What do you do to fix it?

Before you call Geek Squad and they charge you the price of a new computer to fix it, try a few simple things on your own first.

• Hold the power button down and let the computer shut off.

Generally this takes up to 10 seconds.

If it doesn’t shut off, unplug the computer.

If it’s a laptop take out the battery.

• Once off, turn the computer back on.

If it reboots normally, rejoice. Your prayers are answered.

It is simple from here.

Thursday, May 14, 2015 | 3

Chances are your computer encountered a simple runtime error and the reboot fixed it.

Essentially your computer found a spot on the hard drive it was too tired to handle.

Now after rebooting, it has handled it and can move on.

Even if this is the case, run all anti-virus scans and make sure your Windows is up to date.

If your computer does not reboot or it does and then blue screens again, we have a bit of work to do.

Each time Windows sends you a blue screen, it should (note that word should) print out an error

number.

If you Google this error number, someone will be able to tell you exactly what happened.

As there are hundreds of error numbers, let’s skip that and go directly to how you can fix it.

Have you made a recovery disc?

Sometime during the Windows 7 craze, Microsoft stopped making the install discs for each computer to send out. So now if you receive a new computer you must create your own recovery drives.

When you first received your computer, you should have made a recovery drive.

Each computer will suggest it as one of the first things to do.

This is important to give you a way to fix your computer.

It should be done as soon as that new computer is setup.

If you were crafty and managed to get it done, pop that drive into your computer and let it run.

This should allow for a recovery and a repair option.

Always repair first and then recover. This way you lose less data and programs.

If you insert your drive and it doesn’t auto try and repair, try restarting the

FISHING REPORT Lake Murray: Striped bass: Fair to good. Striper remain scattered out all over the lake. Fronts are keeping the bite from being totally stable and there have been some slow days, but most of the time fishing has been good. Free-lining across points remains effective as lots of fish are still shallow, and anglers should continue to watch the birds as they are still pointing the direction to the fish. Fishermen should keep their eyes open for schooling activity as schooling fish have generally been keeper-sized. The most improved bite across the lake has been cut bait fishing which is strong in 3-20 feet of water. The herring spawn has not yet begun.

Largemouth bass: Good. Fish are spawning heavy, and one popular pattern is aggravating the fish until they will take a lure. Fish can also be caught on crankbaits and jigs fished around docks. Fish are beginning to take topwater lures and very soon post-spawn bass should begin to key on herring spawning off of points.

computer.

If you still can’t get it to do anything, try removing all extra equipment attached to your computer except for keyboard and mouse. And I do mean ALL. If you didn’t make a lovely recovery disc, all I can suggest is to call a friend and see if they can swing by.

At this point the Blue Screen of Death has made a visit to your house and you need serious help my friend.

Got a question? Email it to AshleySWard58@gmail. com

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Experts theorize tha t these kinds of ac tivities may help to keep bra in nerve connectio ns intact and may even create new ones. Th ey may also help reduc e stress and have benefits akin to those of meditation.

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These houses of worship invite you to attend this week.

LEXINGTON 308 East Main Street, Lexington www.lexingtonbaptist.org Sundays

9:00 & 10:30 am - Blended Services Wednesday Evening Activities for all ages Senior Pastor Mike Turner

United Methodist Church

Traditional Service 8:30am, 11:00am & Tuesdays at 6:30 pm Contemporary Service 11:00am on Sunday Pastor - Ken Owens 309 East Main Street • Lexington 359-6838 • www.lexumcsc.com

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Classified

4 | Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

LEXINGTON COUNTY

10,000 readers

Chronicle and The Dispatch-News—since 1870

16,000 readers

Classifieds on the internet at www.lexingtonchronicle.com

www.lexingtonchronicle.com

8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.

FOR SALE

101 Auctions 102 Garage/Yard Sales 103 Furniture 104 Appliances/TV 105 Computers 106 Spa/Pool 107 Misc. for Sale 108 Wanted to Buy

ANNOUNCEMENTS 201 Card of Thanks 202 In Memoriam 203 Misc. Announcements 204 Cemeteries 205 Lost & Found 206 Travel/Cruise 207 Business Notices 208 Instruction/Training

SERVICES

301 Misc. Services 302 Building/Contracting 303 Heating/AC

FOR SALE 101

Auctions Abandoned Vehicle The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: True Automotive 150 Kitti Wake Dr W. Cola SC 29170 8034672387 2000 Honda Accord VIN: 1HGCG6694UA084946 5-14

Abandoned Vehicle The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and

(803) 359-7633 Monday - Friday FARM/PETS

304 Income Tax Service 305 Insurance 306 Landscaping 308 Pest Control 309 Plumbing 310 Painting 311 Healthcare 312 Clerical

REAL ESTATE

CHILD/ELDER CARE

Abandoned Vehicle The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Days Paint & Body Shop 900 Mack St, Gaston, SC 29053 803-796-7847 1999 Buick VIN: 1G4HP54K3Y4277359 1999 Honda Accord VIN: 1HGCG1652XA019351 2005 Hyundai Elantra VIN: KMHDN46DX6U263324 2000 Pontiac Sunfire VIN: 1G2JB5241Y7458181 1998 Honda Civic VIN: HGEJ6123WL083955 1996 Chev PKP VIN: 1GCCS19X1T8161671 1999 To y o t a Celica VIN: JT2DG02T2X0057193 1997 BMW VIN: WBACC0329VEK21315 1998 Subaru VIN: JF1SF6356WG754317 2005 Pontiac VIN:

701 Home Rentals 702 Apt Rentals 703 Vacation Rentals 704 Manufactured Homes 705 Commercial 706 Homes for Sale 707 Apt. for Sale 708 Mobile Home Lots 709 Lots & Acreage 710 Commercial for Sale 711 Wanted to Buy 712 Misc. Rentals

1G2NE52E65M214072 5-14

Abandoned Vehicle The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Rolling Meadows 3941 Charleston Hwy #169, West Columbia, SC 29169 803-796-1535 1984 Plywood VIN/SERIAL: SHZWGA33834917 5-14

Abandoned Vehicle The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

20 words or less for $20 25¢ for each additional word Ads appear in the Lexington County Chronicle, Lake Murray Fish Wrapper and on www.LexingtonChronicle.com.

TRANSPORTATION

601 Business Opportunities 602 Business Loans 603 Personal Loans 604 Investments/Stocks

401 Help Wanted - Misc.

402 Help Wanted - Drivers 403 Help Wanted - Labor 404 Help Wanted - Skilled 405 Help Wanted - Sales 406 Help Wanted - Office 407 Help Wanted - Management 408 Help Wanted - Medical 409 Help Wanted - Professional 450 Employment Wanted 501 Child Care 502 Elder Care

801 Boats 802 Campers/RVs

FINANCIAL

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: ARS Towing & Recovery 310 Quartermaster St W. Columbia SC 29170 2003 Ford Escape VIN: 1FMYU03123KA40841 2000 Chevrolet Monte Carlo VIN: 2G1WX12K2Y9366109 1 9 8 3 C h e v rolet TK K10 VIN: 2GCEK14H9D1115325 23’ Roll-off container, color blue, NO VIN/ Southland Sanitation 5-14

Abandoned Vehicle The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder

|4

Special Rates for Special People!

BOATS/CAMPERS

551 Dogs/Cats/Pets 552 Livestock 553 Farm Products

EMPLOYMENT

are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Toot’s Towing and Recovery Service 438 Day Dr. Swansea SC 29160 2 0 0 6 To y o t a Ta c o m a V I N : 5TEKU72N26Z169203 2000 Nissan Maxima VIN: JN1CA31D9Y500734 2000 Olds Alero VIN: 1G3NL52F44C218054 2001 Dodge Neon VIN: 1B3ES46C41D268358 1994 Toyota Camry VIN: 4T1GK12E4RU850268 5-14

Thursday, May 14, 2015

851 Automobiles 852 Trucks 853 Motorcycles 854 Commercial

Deadlines:

855 Statewide Classifieds PUBLIC NOTICES

Legals: 5 p.m. Friday for following Thursday publication.

Line Classifieds: Noon Monday for Thursday publication. Holidays are an exception. Call for details.

900 Legals 901 Master In Equity Foreclosures Rates: $20 a week for 1 week $18 a week for 2 weeks $16 a week for 3 weeks $14 a week for 4 weeks

By Mail: Enclose payment with ad copy and mail to Lexington County Chronicle, PO Box 9, Lexington SC 29071

By Phone: Call 803-359-7633 to charge to your VISA or MC account.

All classified advertising is prepaid. has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Tillman Towing (803)794-5060 2007 Pontiac G6 1G2ZG58N474209636 2002 Buick Century 2G4WS52J621277617 1999 Chevrolet S10 1GCDT19X7X8184749 1999 Ford E150 1FDRE14L7XHB36135 1994 Ford Ranger 1FTCR10A5RUB15250 5-14

Notice Notice is hereby given that on May 22, 2015, at 10:00 a.m., a public sale will be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien against the following: A-27 Kostrzewa washer, dryer, mattresses, bike, misc.

D-18-19 Hatchell Chair, Ent. Center, washer, misc.

G-31 - Dawkins - mattresses, table, chairs, misc.

At: Airport Self Storage

4025 Edmund Rd. West Columbia, SC 29170 (803)755-1313 Sealed bids will be taken and rooms sold to highest bid over minimum.

Winning bidders will be announced immediately following sale. Payments in cash only. Rooms to be emptied within 24 hours.

Rooms subject to be deleted from sale. Owner reserves right to reject any or all bids.

5-14

Public Notice SmartStop Self Storage located at 120 Northpoint Dr. Lexington, SC 29072 (803-808-6070) intends to satisfy its selfstorage lien arising from non-payment of Rent for the following Occupant’s of the Facility. If no description is indicated the contents are general household goods and furnishings.

Jeff Nelson, last known address 1925 Cypress Branch Ct. Charleston, SC 29414 Unit #344, Description of Property: Couch, dresser, TV Stand, Mattress, Bed frame, Wardrobe, Pictures, Kitchen supplies, Sports cards, Etc. Troy Cauldwell, last known address 4610 Arlington Columbia, SC 29203 Unit #213, Description of Property: Dressers, Mattress, Futon chair, Bed frame, Mirror, Lamp, Fan, Dryer, Weight bench, etc.

The items will be sold on May 28, 2015 at 12:00 p.m. o’clock at www.storagetreasures. com. The winner of the sale is subject to the terms

Business Directory Lexington County Chronicle AND The Dispatch-News—SINCE 1870

and conditions of the website, preregistration to bid is required.

5-14

Public Notice Notice is hereby given that on 5-26-2015, at 10am, a public sale will be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien against the following: Unit L-32 Dennis Christmas Decor, Old Dryer and Misc. - Min bid $300 Unit C-9 Hayes and Bass - Furn, Bedding, Fish tackle, Misc Household items. Min bid $800 Unit E-11 Mosier Misc Household items.

Min bid $800 Unit D-20 Bethen Clothes, shoes, DVD G.F. Clock, etc. Min bid $600 Unit D-5 Riley - Clothing, Furniture & Household Items. Min bid $800 At: Johnson Mini Storage 3334 Augusta Hwy. Gilbert SC 29054 803-356-9770 5-21

107

misc for sale 2014 24 Foot Kaufman Car Trailer with hidden ramps, spaire tire, tool box and wheelchocks.

803-520-4580 or 803-201-9713 New 26” female bike, 7 speed made by Specialized, Inc 803-520-4580 or 803-201-9713 6-4

employment

EARN EXTRA $$MONEY$$ Deliver Phone Books Lexington, SC -Flexible Hours -Have Insured Vehicle -Have Valid Driver’s License -Must Be At Least 18 Yrs. Old

855-955-7337 or Apply on-line Ref Job # SC11 www.sddsdelivery.com

401

HELP WANTED MISC. FULL TIME NANNY POSITION in the Chapin area. 8am-2pm Mon-Fri. Contact patsnannies. com 803-348-1341 5-14

402

help wanted drivers EARN EXTRA $$MONEY$$ Deliver Phone Books Lexington, SC - Flexible Hours Have Insured Vehicle - Have Valid Driver’s License - Must Be At Least 18 Yrs. Old 855-955-7337 or Apply on-line Ref Job # SC11 www.sddsdelivery. com 5-14

Dr i v e rs ( CDL - A Truck) Home Daily!

Paid Weekly, Health/ Den/Vision Ins., 401K. Stable Ops 49 Years Strong. Bill or Albert: 1-855-995-7188

help wanted sales Sales job of DREAMS your Frustrated with cold calling?

Tired of prospects telling you that advertising doesn’t work?

We can teach you the inside secrets of selling by referral and direct response advertising that generates sales.

If you love sales and have a minimum two years sales experience, please contact Linda Sauls at lindasauls11@ yahoo.com UFN

Ambitious but frustrated? Need money for rent, mortgage, school, clothes, kids, car, spendthrift spouse or retirement one day? Email Jerry Bellune@yahoo.com UFN

5-21

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Because her business is growing twice as fast as her competitor’s. She markets through the Chronicle.

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, May 14, 2015 | 5

Nifty, Nifty!

Looks Who’s 50!

Patricia Harmon

More than 85 people celebrated with her at a party at Pisgah Lutheran Church.

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Jeff Bridges in “Seventh Son”

COUCH THEATER -DVD PREVIEWS

By Sam Struckhoff EDITOR’S NOTE: DVDs reviewed in this column are available in stores the week of May 25, 2015.

PHOTO: Jeff Bridges in “Seventh Son” --PICKS OF THE WEEK “Seventh Son” (PG-13) -- An ancient order of mystical knights once kept the world safe from evil CGI monstrosities, until their numbers dwindled to one.

Jeff Bridges stars as the last of the “Spooks,” monster slayers who are all the sev-

enth sons of seventh sons.

Bridges rambles his way to a little farm, where he recruits Tom, youngest of seven brothers (a bland teenage protagonist played by Ben Barnes, who is well into his 30s). Together, they set out on a formulaic adventure to battle a superwitch (Julianne Moore) and her menagerie of monsters.

Much like Moore’s archvillain character, this fantasy adventure was sealed away, locked in a purgatory by production wizards, until it stirred within its cage and found its way into our realm. The special effects are impressive, but aging in the barrel has not helped this film ripen.

“The Loft” (R) -- Five wealthy urban professionals share a luxurious loft apartment as their secret clubhouse, available whenever one of them has a rendezvous with a mistress or fling. One day, the guys open the loft to find the handcuffed body of a murdered blonde, totally killing the mood. The story is told in flashbacks, as the guys (Karl Urban, James Marsden, Eric Stonestreet, Mat-

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thias Schoenaerts and Wentworth Miller) recount what happened -- in sleazy detail -- to a pair of detectives.

Nothing tests the patience more than a movie full of tedious plot twists and set-ups all building to a tragically predictable conclusion. The five dudes are so greasy and unlikable that it’s a struggle to feel for their struggles.

“Cut Bank” (R) -- Tucked away in rural Montana, Dwayne (Liam Hemsworth) wants to get himself and his peppy blond girlfriend (Teresa Palmer) out of town, but witnesses a murder instead. By total coincidence, he had his video camera rolling and pointed in the right direction when the town’s first murder takes place in a canola field. Well, maybe it wasn’t a coincidence, and maybe it wasn’t a murder -- the plot twists itself into knots, but it’s not a tight fit. The movie owes a lot to the Coen brothers, mostly an apology for doing such a poor job of copying “Fargo.”

“See You in Valhalla” (R) -- A death in the family re-

unites a bunch of dysfunctional siblings. At first it’s awkward, then they bicker, fight, laugh, hug and cry.

This should sound familiar by now -- it’s been the drama-trope of choice for the past year or so. This time, it’s “Modern Family’s” Sarah Hyland playing the prodigal daughter, returning home for the funeral of her troubled brother. Her father and two living brothers are waiting with their own bundles of issues, and she also must deal with the latent drama of an old boyfriend she left behind. It’s supposed to be a tearjerker drama, so it’s a bad sign that the only laudable bit is the cartoonish comic relief (Stevie Howey), but kudos to him.

TV RELEASES “The Nanny: The Complete Series” “Major Crimes: Season 3” “Ray Donovan: Season 2” “The Wonder Years: Season 3” “The Rockford Files: Movie Collection -- Volume 2”

6 | Thursday, May 14, 2015

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

It’s a Dog’s Life

By Scoop Bellune

King of the Jungle A lion woke up one morning feeling rowdy. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!

Later, the lion confronts a deer and bellows, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

The terrified deer stammers, “Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!”

On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”

Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times, the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion

till it looked like a corn tortilla, and ambled away.

The lion hollered after the elephant, “Hey! Just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so angry!”

Sleepy Accounting The accountant came to work looking exhausted.

Finally, his boss took him aside.

“Barry,” he said, “you look terrible! What’s wrong?”

“Sorry,” he replied. “I just couldn’t get to sleep last night.”

Trying to be helpful, Barry’s boss asked, “Why didn’t you try counting sheep?”

“I did,” he answered.

“THAT was the problem.

I made a mistake, and it took me the rest of the night to find it.”

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While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, “Excuse me. This is my stop.”

Since she wasn’t blocking his way, she was confused. “Well,” she said, “go ahead.”

“And this is my pole,” he said.

My mother was completely perplexed until the

young man added, “I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain.”

And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.

Chinese Cuisine A couple decides to go out for a nice meal on their anniversary and after some deliberation settle on their local CHINESE restaurant .

They peruse the menu and finally agree to share the chef’s special chicken surprise.

The waiter brings over the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.

Just as the wife is about to start in on the meal, the lid of the pot rises a tiny amount and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

“Did you see that?” she asked her husband. He hadn’t, so she asks him to look in the pot.

He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and this time he sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid firmly slams back down. Rather perturbed he calls the waiter over and recounts what is happening and demands an explanation.

“Well, sir,” says the waiter, “What did you order?”

“We both chose the same,” replies the husband, “the chicken surprise.”

“Oh, I do apologize, this is my fault,” says the wait-

er...

“I’ve brought you the Peking Duck!”

Fatherly Knowledge A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, “How does this boat float?”

The father thought for a moment, then replied, “I don’t really know, son.”

The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, “How do fish breath underwater?”

Once again the father replied, “Don’t really know, son.”

A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”

Again, the father replied.

“Don’t really know, son.”

Worried he was going to annoy his father, he said, “Dad, do you mind me asking you all of these questions?”

“Of course not son. How else are you ever going to learn anything?” replied his father.

Physical Fitness At one Army base, the annual trip to the rifle range had been canceled for the second year in a row, but the semi-annual physical fitness test was still on as planned.

One soldier mused, “Does it bother anyone else that the Army doesn’t seem to care how well we can shoot, but they are extremely interested in how fast we can run?”

Trees Everywhere A state trooper pulled a car over on a lonely back road and approached the driver.

“Ma’am, is there a reason

that you’re weaving all over the road?”

The woman replied, “Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me.

I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!”

Reaching through the side window to the rearview mirror, the officer replied, “Ma’am, that’s your air freshener.”

Great Discovery It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime.

As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, Dr. Lowenstein, the head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.

He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. “Mr. President,” said Dr. Lowenstein, grinning broadly, “after 12 years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars.”

He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown.

He said, “But that’s impossible... We could never do it... Yes, sir, Mr. President,” and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously.

“I have some bad news,” he said, “The President said that now that we’ve found intelligent life on Mars... ...he wants us to try to find it in Congress.”

We make forgetting a prescription less of a headache.

With so much going on, getting your prescription refill can fall through the cracks. Don’t worry. Call our pharmacy any time day or night to order refills.

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, May 14, 2015 | 7

COME HELP US CELEBRATE THE 35TH ANNIVERSARY OF HARVEST HOPE AND JIM HUDSON DURING THE

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Chronicle LEXINGTON COUNT Y

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This message is sponsored in support of the Jim Hudson 2000 Sales Race and the Harvest Hope Food Bank by the Lexington County Chronicle, The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper and Lexington Chronicle.com

803-359-7633

8 | Thursday, May 14, 2015

events HISTORIC CEMETERY TOURS: Historic Columbia is offering two Elmwood Cemetery tours. Secrets From The Grave will be offered the 2nd Thursday of each month at 7:30 p.m.

Moonlight Cemetery Tours are offered the 2nd Thursday of each month through September at 8 and 8:30 p.m. Bring a flashlight. Tickets for adults $12, youth $6; member tickets $8 and $4. Purchase tickets at historiccolumbia.org or email reservations@historiccolumbia.com or cal 803-252-1770, ext. 23.

Tours last about an hour.

YARD SALE: May 16, 8 a.m.noon, 211 American Legion Dr., Lexington, sponsored by American Legion Post 7 and Auxiliary Unit 7 to support veterans projects. Donations accepted May 14, 9 a.m.- 2 p.m. and May 15, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Donations tax deductible. Ask for receipt when you drop off items. Info: 3591278.

BAND MATTRESS SALE: The Brookland-Cayce Band is having a mattress sale on Saturday, May 16, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., in the BCHS cafeteria. All the mattresses are brand new, all sizes are available, name brands like Simmons, Beautyrest, and more!

FAMILY FUN DAY: Cayce-

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

West Columbia Rotary Club celebrates its 60th anniversary with a fun day May 16, 6-8:30 p.m., Saluda Shoals Park.

Tickets $10 for two persons or $15 for a family, includes BBQ dinner. Access to splash park $3 per child. Come learn about Rotary and meet your neighbors. RSVP to Elizabeth Gressette, 803-796-1482 or egressette@bellsouth.net.

Love for Lennon: Friends and family are holding a benefit for Lennon Cureton of Lexington to help the infant get a heart transplant. Lennon was born Jan. 9 with Dilated Cardiomyopathy (DCM). The benefit includes a carnival, bake sale and silent auction at Pisgah Lutheran Church in Lexington from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. on May 16. To learn more call 359-0917 or follow Lennon on Facebook at “Baby Lennon’s Battle” or donate at www.GoFundMe.com/BabyLennonsBattle.

BLOOD DRIVE: May 17, 1-5 p.m., Broadacres Baptist Church in the Fellowship Hall, 2350 Taylor Rd., Cayce. Call the church office, 794-7762 or Larry Berry, cell 260-0504 for an appointment. Walk-ins are also welcome!

Sheriff’s Foundation Jailbreak: 5K Run & Walk May 23 to benefit Lexington County Sheriff’s Foundation. Packet pick up and late registration begin at 6:15 at Sheriff’s Department, 521 Gibson Rd., Lexington. 5K run and walk begins at 8 a.m. Course is USAFT Cetification #SC 97911BS. Entry fee $25 prior to race day, $30 race day. Register at www.strictlyrunning. com.

YOUTH SAIL CAMPS: For ages 7 to 18, sponsored by Columbia Sailing Club, June 8-12 and June 15-19. Boats are provided.

Includes sailing instruction for beginners and intermediates.

Visit www.columbiasailingclub. org to download application or call Maria DeHart, 803-7309310. Camps fill quickly so hurry.

Club is at 292 Shuler Rd., Columbia.

FOOD & FUN FREE DINNER & A MOVIE: May 29, 6 p.m., Grace United Methodist Church, 410 Harbison Blvd, Columbia, famous Hot Dog Supper with Chili, Kielbasa, Ice Cream and Door Prizes. The movie, “The Good Lie,” for adults and a movie for children at 7 p.m. with popcorn. Adult movie is about “The Lost Boys” orphaned by the Sudanese civil war and the humanitarian effort that brought 3,600 lost boys and girls to American, starring Reese Witherspoon.

The 34th Annual South Carolina Peanut Party is accepting applications from new food vendors, homemade crafters, and exciting entertainment groups for consideration this year. Our event is August 7 & 8, 2015.

Anyone interested in applying for this year’s festival should contact Susan Enlow at 803.606.9522 or senlow1@ gmail.com.

Lessons/seminars FREE LEGAL CLINIC: May 18, wills, estate and probate issues ar Chapin LThe SC Bar Pro Bono Program will sponsor a free legal clinic at the chapin Branch Libraru. 129 NW Columbia Ave.Sponsred by the SC BAr Pro Bono Program. Info: www.

scbar.org/clinics. or call (803) 799-6653, ext. 158.

BUILD A RAIN BARREL: Collect rain water to use in your garden or elsewhere and reduce stormwater runoff. Workshop sponsored by Lexington Countywide Stormwater Consortium is May 22, 9 a.m. to noon, at Public Works Building, 440 Ball Park Road, Lexington. Reducing stormwater runoff helps you save water, save money, and reduces stormwater pollution. Fee $25 to take home your own barrel. To register, call Tina Blum, (803) 359-3165 ext. 3 or tina. blum@nacdnet.net.

SQ. DANCE/LINE DANCE LESSONS: Sundays, 2-4 p.m., Hugh Dimmery Memorial Center, 680 Cherokee Ln., West Columbia. $5 per class.

Sponsored by The Columbia Twirlers, 803-7720546 or http://www.scsquaredance.com/ or http://www.thebarnsc. com/ HELP FOR COUNTY VETERANS: Veterans’ Affairs Officer Ed Lundeen meets Veterans, surviving spouses, dependents and beneficiaries at area Gaston Library first Thursday each month – 10 a.m.-12 p.m.; Chapin Library, first Friday of each month – 9 a.m.-11 a.m.; and BatesburgLeesville Library, second Friday of each month – 10 a.m.-noon. The office provides education, advice and assistance in filing VA claims and information regarding VA programs. Appointments encouraged, call 803-7858400 Monday-Friday 8am-5pm.

museums EDVENTURE CHILDREN’S MUSEUM: A learning experience especially for children 12 and under, MondaySaturday 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays noon to 5 p.m. 211 Gervais Street, Columbia, Children and Adults: $11.50; Seniors (62+): $10.50; Military (with ID): $10.50; Members: Free; Children under one: Free. Info: 803 779 3100

LEXINGTON COUNTY MUSEUM: Collection of antebellum buildings and artifacts. Tues.-Sat 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Sunday 1-4 p.m. Closed Mondays and holidays. 231 Fox Street at U.S. 378 (Columbia Ave.) Adults $5, children $2. Info: 3598369.

SC ARCHIVES & HISTORY CENTER: Open MonFri, 8:45 a.m. - 4:45 p.m., at 8301 Parklane Road, Columbia.

COLUMBIA MUSEUM OF ART: Corner Main and Hampton, Columbia. Tu. Fri. 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. 12 p.m.-5 p.m.

Closed Mondays. Adults $10, Students $5. Every Sunday is free. Info 7992810. Free admission to all active duty military personnel and their families.

S.C. STATE MUSEUM: 301 Gervais St., 8984921. Adults $7, seniors $6, children 3-12 $5, under 3 free, Military discount.

music THE MARTINS IN CONCERT: May 15, 7 p.m., First Baptist Church of Lexington, 415 Barr Rd., Lexington. Internationally acclaimed trio has performed at The Grand Ole Opry, The White House and many other venues.

Winner of six Dove Awards from the Gospel Music Assn. and a Grammy nomination. Info: www.fblex.org or www. martinsonline.com. park street baptist church: Joshua Evanovich in concert will be playing the piano/organ.

Sunday May 17 at 6pm.

Public is invited to attend. 2204 Park Street, Columbia 29201. 803252-6434 for additional information.

‘64 AND “65: Reunion is May 16 at American Legion Hut on American Legion Drive in Lexington Social Hour begins at 5:30 with dinner at 6:30 p.m.

For info or reservations, contact Dannette Tumblin Bickley, 803269-9063 or email dannette@ sc.rr.com, or Amelia Bowers Price, 803-794-7073 or email ameliabp@bellsouth.net.

Shumpert reunion & homecoming: St. John Lutheran Church.

Calks Ferry Rd. in Pelion.

Sunday, May 17. Sunday School 11:30am. Worship service at noon.

Lunch at 1pm. For more information 803-8943527.

WOLFE-GEIGER: May 17, 12:30 p.m., Sandy Run Community Center, Old State Road (Highway 176 at the intersection of US 21). “Historian, Dean Hunt will give a short presentation on Emily Geiger. There will be fun activities for the kids. Please bring your favorite dish. Ice and paper products will be provided.

Info: Angie Culler-Matthews, 803-429-8662.

SENIORS TRIP TO WASHINGTON, DC: Travel with other seniors June 5-8 for $399 per person, double occupancy. Price includes transportation, lodging, most breakfast and dinners, and guided tours. Reservations by March 30 with $75 deposit. Call Lexington County Aging Commission, 356-5111, or visit your local Senior Center.

theater ANNIE GET YOUR GUN: Irving Berlin masterpiece runs May 8-17 at Village Square Theatre in Lexington. Show times are Fridays at 7:30 pm, Saturdays at 3:00pm and 7:30pm, and Sunday May 17 at 3 p.m.

Adults $19, seniors and students $17, and children under 12 $12. Call (803) 359-1436 or visit www.villagesquaretheatre. com.

Reunions AIRPORT HS CLASS OF

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Items included: lawn mowers, power tools, guns and rifles, air compressors, cast iron pots, antiques, collectibles, old lanterns, tonka toys, pottery, and much more.

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