Lake Murray Fish Wrapper 7-9-15

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, July 9, 2015 | 1

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"Official Newspaper of the Lexington County Blowwsh Baseball Team"

You supply the fish, we supply the wrapper.

Steal this paper — please!

INSIDE THIS WEEK

What you’re missing in the Lexington County Chronicle & The Dispatch-News:

Senate votes to take flag down Critic: Natural gas will save you money Governor vetoes $250K for seniors protection plan Summer heat hurts farmers, not food prices Would proposed overtime rule benefit S.C. workers?

Subscribe for our print and online editions! Only

$45 a year!

Call 359-7633

Juli’s School of Dance was one of many floats that were in the Lexington County Peach Festival held on July 4th. For more pictures go to page 7.

Photo bY val augustine

2 | Thursday, July 9, 2015

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Fish Wrapper Fun Corner

RS E SW N A

Does your kitchen need?

We’re health partners Our pharmacy isn’t just for prescriptions. Our screenings, educational seminars and events help you stay healthy and informed.

Custom cabinets Cabinet re-facing Solid surface countertops Under-counter lighting Complete remodels

Homestyle...Yourstyle!

No subcontractors - Local business - Over 50 years experience

Thoughtful Services at a Thoughtful Price Direct Cremation $995 Traditional burial with casket and vault $5295

203-C Dooley Rd. Lexington, SC 29073

803-358-9120 866-604-0226 info@palmettohomestyle.com

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Ashley Steele 359-7633

Tech talk

Thursday, July 9, 2015 | 3

It’s app-solutely fantastic

|

_

A loyal Chronicle reader wants to know what exactly an app is?

The easy answer is that it is an application. A piece of software. Every smartphone, tablet, iphone, ipad and even computers (PC and MAC) have apps. They are small pieces of software that we buy to make our lives easier or simply more fun.

What are some of the more popular apps?

Social media apps are by far the most downloaded. After that comes games.

What are some apps you may not have heard of but should look into?

Zedge is the most fun, annoying, time consuming app ever. It allows you to download sounds to place as ringtones or notification tones. I’ll be honest, I have a minions ringtone.

Tripit is an app to organize your travel. It can also help by suggesting activities based on what you already have scheduled.

Spotify is your new radio. Listen to music based on an artist or a song. Find other songs like it. You might even find your new favorite artist.

Here is the crazy part. Apple, the creators of the iphone, ipad, ipod and MAC, has its own app store.

Windows, the creators of the most widely used operating software to date, has its own app store.

Android, the creators of the operating software for Droid phones and tablets has its own app store.

And they do not mix.

What if your best friend has an iphone and tells you about her new app Facetime. Sorry, Android or Windows users, you don’t get access to Facetime.

Or Siri for that matter.

Got a tech question. Fire it to me, Ashley Ward, at ashleysward58@gmail.com Questions/comments email me at AshleySWard58@gmail.com

FISHING REPORT

Lunch Hours: Thurs & Sunday 11am-2pm Friday & Saturday 11am-3pm Dinner Fri+Sat 4pm-8pm Breakfast Buffet: Saturday 7 a.m. - 10 a.m.

Lake Murray:

Bream: Good to very good. Shellcracker can still be caught in 6-10 feet of water. To locate shellcracker look for freshwater clams washed up on the shore and fish nearby with night crawler sections. The bream bite remains hot, and fishing is very strong around docks with crickets. Peak spawning activity should occur on the new and full moons, and fish can also be found on the beds in between.

Striped bass: Good. Striper have moved into a typical summer pattern where fish are grouping up in the big water on the lower end of the lake.

Fish are being caught 30-80 feet deep over humps and depth changes, with most fish being caught on down lined live herring. Fish can also be caught trolling plugs.

Exercise Combats

Depression Exercising regularly can help reduce the risk of depression , according to the latest evidence in JAMA Psychiatry. A Britis h study tracked about 11,00 0 people for 25 ye ars and found that tho se who were phys ically active were less like ly to exhibit symptom s of depression. Als o, sedentary partic ipants who began exercisin g thr Roberta P. Vining reduced their risk of de ee times a week pression five years lat er by 20%. Havin Pharmacist g trouble getting ac tive?

Try starting with a short 15-minute wa lk 15 to 30 minutes after dinner. This can als o aid digestion and help improve blood sugar levels.

Catering is available...

Call Today!

359-2587

1207 W. Main St. Lexington Mon-Fri 8:30-6 Sat 8:30-2

SINCE 1924

Serving the community for good health prescriptions • medical equipment • compounding

408 Ervin Price Rd. Gilbert, S.C. 803-892-2502 803-351-2851

These houses of worship invite you to attend this week.

LEXINGTON 308 East Main Street, Lexington www.lexingtonbaptist.org Sundays

9:00 & 10:30 am - Blended Services Wednesday Evening Activities for all ages Senior Pastor Mike Turner

United Methodist Church

Traditional Service 8:30am, 11:00am & Tuesdays at 6:30 pm Contemporary Service 11:00am on Sunday Pastor - Ken Owens Assoc. Pastor - Weston Pendergrass 309 East Main Street • Lexington 359-6838 • www.lexumcsc.com

-

Worship - 10:30am Sunday School - 9:30am Communion Every Sunday stdavid@alltel.net

www.fblex.org Sunday: 9am Blended Service 10:30am Contemporary Service Wed: 5pm Dinner 6:30pm Service

Great advertising rates!

Wednesday Bible Study 7:00 p.m.

HOLY TRINITY EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH

Let newcomers know about your church and fellowship. Advertise for just a few dollars a week right here.

Call 359-7633.

2920 Pella Ave. – West Columbia, SC 29170 • • •

We still believe and teach: Jesus Christ is the only Savior of mankind; baptizing and teaching “all things whatsoever” His Word teaches. (Mt. 28)

Come grow with us in the knowledge of your Savior and His peace.

SS. & Bible Class: 10a.m. • Sunday worship: 11a.m.

Pastor Vance Fossum • 803-796-0005 • www.LexingtonLutheran.org

Call us!

359-7633

Classified

4 | Thursday, July 9, 2015

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

LEXINGTON COUNTY

10,000 readers

Chronicle and The Dispatch-News—since 1870

16,000 readers

Classifieds on the internet at www.lexingtonchronicle.com

www.lexingtonchronicle.com

8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.

FOR SALE

201 Card of Thanks 202 In Memoriam 203 Misc. Announcements 204 Cemeteries 205 Lost & Found 206 Travel/Cruise 207 Business Notices 208 Instruction/Training 301 Misc. Services 302 Building/Contracting 303 Heating/AC

FOR SALE 101

Auctions

Abandoned Vehicle The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below. Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Quality Tractor Trailer Repair, LLC PO Box 758, Lexington, SC 29071 803-996-0977 1997 International 9400 VIN: 2HSFHAMR6VC029785 7-9

NOTICE Notice is hereby given that on July 24, 2015 at 10:00AM, a public sale will be held for the purpose of satisfyinga landlord lien against the following: AT: Q’s Quik Mini Storage 200 Industrial Drive Lexington, SC 29072 803-359-5883 Unit 70A - Cobbs Speakers, tires, safe Unit 164 - Evans - furniture, microwave, storage containers 7-9

PUBLIC NOTICE

FARM/PETS

that on July 13, 2015 at 10:00am, a public sale will be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien against the following: Unit A-7 and K-9 Rentor Mitchell - Contains office equipment and decors and desks. Minimum bid 1000.00 At: Johnson Mini Storage 3334 August Hwy. Gilbert, SC 29054 803356-9770 7-9

Public Notice SmartStop Self Storage located at 120 Northpoint Dr. Lexington, SC 29072 (803-808-6070) intends to satisfy its selfstorage lien arising from non-payment of Rent for the following Occupant’s of the Facility. If no description is indicated the contents are general household goods and furnishings.

Carlton Seabrook, last known address: P.O. Box 84432 Lexington, SC 29073 Unit # 919, Description of Property: Couch, box, etc.

The items will be sold on 30th day of July, 2015 at 12:00 p.m. o’clock at www.storagetreasures. com. The winner of the sale is subject to the terms and conditions of the website, preregistration to bid is required.

7-16

Public Notice Smart Stop Self Storage located at 890 St Peters Rd. Lexington, SC 29072, 803-996-3171 intends to satisfy its selfstorage lien arising from non-payment of Rent for the following Occupant’s of the Facility. If no description is indicated the contents are general household goods and furnishings.

Kristi McLeod, Unit #420, Description of Property: Nice Wooden Furniture,Dining Set,Dresser and Tables, 2 Boxes Meg Donadio, Unit #425, Description of Property: Wooden Couch,White

Table W/ 4 Chairs,2 Tables, Misc. Chairs The items will be sold on July 30th day at 12:45pm o’clock at www. storagetreasures.com.

The winner of the sale is subject to the terms and conditions of the website, preregistration to bid is required.

7-16

Deadline to Pay Notice

Palmetto Self Storage 150 Litton Drive Lexington SC 29073 803-359-2020 The following renter has until Noon time Friday, July 17, 2015 to pay IN FULL the rent on their unit or contents will be SOLD at a time of our discretion. #824 - Shana J Taylor 7-16

help wanted sales

Sales job of your DRE A M S Frustrated with cold calling?

Tired of prospects telling you that advertising doesn’t work?

We can teach you the inside secrets of selling by referral and direct response advertising that generates sales.

If you love sales and have a minimum two years sales experience, please contact Linda Sauls at lindasauls11@ yahoo.com UFN

A m b i t i o us b ut frustrated? Need money for rent, mortgage, school, clothes, kids, car, spendthrift spouse or retirement one day? Email Jerry Bellune@yahoo.com UFN

406

help wanted office garage/yard 24/7 Live Answering Service seeking sales

7-9

107

misc. for sale

Bush River Memorial Cemetery 2 spaces prime location.

Good Shepard’s One Garden $1400 each or best offer. Current Value $1895 Call 813333-9571 7-2

Patented Happy Jack Flea Beacon: Control fleas in the home without toxic chemicals. Results overnight! Horse Sense Tack & Feed (359-7714) (kennelvax.com) 7-16

employment 405

employees to grow with our company; for evening to include weekends & paid Holidays.

Excellent customer service skills, typing & spelling required. No experience necessary, call for initial interview 803-251-2882 7-16

real estate lots & acreage

waterfront lot on l ak e Mur r ay / 8/10acre w/150+ feet on lake approved for private dock. $120,000.

Call 803-732-2411.

2015

statewide classifieds ANNOUNCEMENTS

Legals: 5 p.m. Friday for following Thursday publication.

Line Classifieds: Noon Monday for Thursday publication. Holidays are an exception. Call for details.

900 Legals 901 Master In Equity Foreclosures Rates: $20 a week for 1 week $18 a week for 2 weeks $16 a week for 3 weeks $14 a week for 4 weeks

By Mail: Enclose payment with ad copy and mail to Lexington County Chronicle, PO Box 9, Lexington SC 29071

By Phone: Call 803-359-7633 to charge to your VISA or MC account.

All classified advertising is prepaid.

Struggling with DRUGS or ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares.

Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment. 866-6046857 7-9

Tuesday, July 14, 2015 is the last day to redeem winning tickets in the following South Carolina Education Lottery Instant Game: (SC725) CAROLINA RED 7-9

Got Knee Pain?

Back Pain? Shoulder Pain? Get a pain-relieving brace -little or NO cost to you. Medicare Patients Call Health Hotline Now! 1- 800815-6016 7-9

AUCTIONS EBIDLOCAL.com ABANDONED SAFE DEPOSIT BOX ONLINE AUCTION - per SC law national bank client selling contents, “As-Is / Where-Is”, No Warranties, Info Online: EBIDLOCAL.com (vaf#777) 7-9

Bank Owned, Online Auction w/ Bid Center, Subdivision Lots, Vacant Lots, Acreage, Commercial Property & More, NC, SC, VA & WV. Ends July 23rd & 24th at 3pm, Bid Center At: Iron Horse Auction Co. Office, www.ironhorseauction.com. 800997-2248. NCAL3936.

SCAL1684. VAAL580.

WVAL1033.

7-9

709

Deadlines:

855 Statewide Classifieds PUBLIC NOTICES

701 Home Rentals 702 Apt Rentals 703 Vacation Rentals 704 Manufactured Homes 705 Commercial 706 Homes for Sale 707 Apt. for Sale 708 Mobile Home Lots 709 Lots & Acreage 710 Commercial for Sale 711 Wanted to Buy 712 Misc. Rentals

102

moving sale - saturday July 11, 7am.

144 Governors Grant Blvd. Lexington.

851 Automobiles 852 Trucks 853 Motorcycles 854 Commercial

REAL ESTATE

CHILD/ELDER CARE

20 words or less for $20 25¢ for each additional word Ads appear in the Lexington County Chronicle, Lake Murray Fish Wrapper and on www.LexingtonChronicle.com.

TRANSPORTATION

601 Business Opportunities 602 Business Loans 603 Personal Loans 604 Investments/Stocks

401 Help Wanted - Misc.

402 Help Wanted - Drivers 403 Help Wanted - Labor 404 Help Wanted - Skilled 405 Help Wanted - Sales 406 Help Wanted - Office 407 Help Wanted - Management 408 Help Wanted - Medical 409 Help Wanted - Professional 450 Employment Wanted 501 Child Care 502 Elder Care

801 Boats 802 Campers/RVs

FINANCIAL

ADVERTISE YOUR AUCTION in 107 S.C. newspapers for only $375. Your 25-word classified ad will reach more than 2.6 million readers. Call Alanna Ritchie at the S.C. Newspaper Network, 1-888727-7377.

7-9

FINANCIAL SERVICES Sell your structured settlement or annuity payments for CASH NOW. You don’t have to wait for your future payments any longer! Call 1-800-

446-9734 7-9

HELP WANTED Can You Dig It? Heavy Equipment Operator Career! We Offer Training and Certifications Running Bulldozers, Backhoes and Excavators. Lifetime Job Placement.

VA Benefits Eligible!

1-866-362-6497 7-9

HELP WANTED - DRIVERS Are you ready to kick-start your new career? Now Interviewing Accredited Truck Driving School Graduates (With CDL-A) for our Entry Level Apprentice Program. Must have Good MVR, Work history and Criminal Background history.

Call Chris Blackwell at 843-266-3731 to discuss pay and benefits. www. bulldoghiway.com EOE 7-9

Experienced OTR Flatbed Drivers earn 50 up to 55 cpm loaded. $1000 sign on to Qualified drivers.

Good home time. Call: 843-266-3731 / www. bulldoghiway.com EOE 7-9

BONUS! Home weekly, benefits, vacation. OTR Drivers, CDL, Clean MVR, 2yrs exp., J & J Farms, 808 Byron Hicks Rd., Jefferson, SC. Call Glen or Ronnie: (843) 672-5003 7-9

Join our Team!

Guaranteed pay for Class A CDL Flatbed Drivers. Regional and OTR. Great pay /benefits /401k match. CALL TODAY 864.299.9645 www.jgr-inc.com ADVERTISE YOUR DRIVER JOBS in 107 S.C. newspapers for only $375. Your 25word classified ad will reach more than 2.6 million readers. Call Alanna Ritchie at the S.C. Newspaper Network, 1-888-727-7377.

7-9

MISCELLANEOUS AIRLINE CAREERS

begin here - Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 866-367-2513 7-9

MI S CELL A NEO U S FOR SALE DIREC T V S ta r t ing at $19.99/mo.

FREE Installation.

FREE 3 months of HBO SHOWTIME CINEMAX, STARZ. FREE HD/DVR Upgrade! 2015 NFL Sunday Ticket Included (Select Packages) New Customers Only. CALL 1-800-291-6954 7-9

Dish Network – Get MORE for LESS! Starting $19.99/month (for 12 months.) PLUS Bundle & SAVE (Fast Internet for $15 more/ month.) CALL Now 1-800-635-0278 7-9

REAL ESTATE 2 LOTS AT SANTEE - Beautiful & Priced to Sell! 1 acre combined, 5 minutes from Taw Caw Landing. Call for info 843 687-7062 or 803 794-8359.

7-9

E S T A T E A U C T ION Beautiful 4BR/3BA Home With Antiques & Collectibles Aiken, SC Online Only Ends July 30 at 4 PM 800-323-8388 RowellAuctions.com SC Lic# SCAL 1577-F 7-9

SCHOOLS MEDICAL BILLING TRAINEES NEEDED! Become a Medical Office Assistant! NO EXPERIENCE NEEDED! Online training can get you job ready! HS diploma/GED & PC/ internet needed! 1-888512-7118 7-9

VACATION RENTALS ADVERTISE YOUR VACATION PROPERTY FOR RENT OR SALE to more than 2.6 million S.C. newspaper readers. Your 25-word classified ad will appear in 107 S.C. newspapers for

Business Directory

Notice is hereby given

| B3

Special Rates for Special People!

BOATS/CAMPERS

551 Dogs/Cats/Pets 552 Livestock 553 Farm Products

EMPLOYMENT

ANNOUNCEMENTS

SERVICES

(803) 359-7633 Monday - Friday

304 Income Tax Service 305 Insurance 306 Landscaping 308 Pest Control 309 Plumbing 310 Painting 311 Healthcare 312 Clerical

101 Auctions 102 Garage/Yard Sales 103 Furniture 104 Appliances/TV 105 Computers 106 Spa/Pool 107 Misc. for Sale 108 Wanted to Buy

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Lexington County Chronicle AND The Dispatch-News—SINCE 1870

only $375. Call Alanna Ritchie at the South Carolina Newspaper Network, 1-888-7277377.

7-9

public notices 900

legals

PUBLIC NOTICE Town of Pine Ridge The Pine Ridge Council will hold a public hearing at Town Hall on July 14, 2015, at 6:30pm. In accordance with Zoning Ordinance, Section 521(l) - Council will consider an extension of a Planned Development District located at 624 Pine Ridge Drive (TMS#007833-01009). Copies of the extension request are available at Town Hall, located at 2757 Fish Hatchery Road or e-mail us at prtownclerk@sc.rr.com. Public and written comments are welcome and may be submitted.

7-9

PUBLIC NOTICE Town of Pine Ridge The Pine Ridge Town Council will hold a public hearing at Town Hall on July 14, at 6:30pm to consider the following changes: Ordinance 2015-07 Amendment to the Town Code, Article 3, Section 6-317: Noise. Copies of the proposed are available at Town Hall, located at 2757 Fish Hatchery Road or e-mail us at prtownclerk@sc.rr.com. Public and written comments are welcome and may be submitted.

7-9

Notice of Public Hearing for Zoning Amendment

County of Lexington Notice is hereby given that Lexington County Council will conduct a public hearing on Tuesday, July 28, 2015 at 6:00 p.m. in the Dorothy K. Black Chambers located on the Second Floor of the County Administration Building, 212 South Lake Drive, Lexington, South Carolina. The purpose of the public hearing is to receive public comments on Zoning Text Amendment #T15-03 (Creation of a Neighborhood Appearance District), Zoning Text Amendment #T15-05 (Article 2.-Application of Regulations, Chapter 5.

Signs) and Zoning Map Amendment #M15-06 (change in zoning classification of R1 and C1 to C2 for TMS#s 002797-02007, 002797-03-001,004.

If special accommodations are needed to participate in the public hearing, contact the Lexington County Zoning office at (803) 785-8121 or wmcpherson@lex-co.com at least 48 hours prior to the scheduled meeting date.

Anyone who wishes information prior to the public hearing should contact the Lexington County Zoning Office at (803) 785-8121.

Johnny W. Jeffcoat Chairman Lexington County Council 7-9 STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA COUNTY OF LEXINGTON IN THE COURT OF COMMON PLEAS

DOCKET NO. 2015-CP-3200949 SUMMONS

HOME MODIFICATION PROGRAM T O T H E DEFENDANT(S),Robin Keagle: YOU ARE HEREBY SUMMONED and required to appear and defend by answering the Complaint in this foreclosure action on property located at 254 Timbermill Drive, Lexington, South Carolina, being designated in the County tax records as TMS #004435-01-020, of which a copy is herewith served upon you, and to serve a copy of your Answer on the subscribers at their offices, Post Office Box 212069, Columbia, South Carolina 29221, within thirty (30) days after the service hereof, exclusive of the day of such service; and if you fail to do so, judgment by default will be rendered against you for the relief demanded in the complaint.

YOU WILL ALSO TA K E N O T I C E t h a t should you fail to Answer the foregoing Summons, the Plaintiff will move for a general Order of Reference of this cause to the Master-In-Equity or Special Master for Lexington County, which Order shall, pursuant to Rule 53(e) of the South Carolina Rules of Civil Procedure, specifically provide that the said Master-in-Equity or Special Master is authorized and empowered to enter a final judgment in this cause.

NOTICE TO THE DEFENDANTS ABOVE NAMED: YOU WILL PLEASE TAKE NOTICE that the Summons and Complaint, of which the foregoing is a copy of the Summons, were filed with the Clerk of Court for Lexington

Timberland Place Homeowners’ Association, Inc., Plaintiff, v.

Robin L. Keagle Defendant(s).

(NON-JURY) FORECLOSURE OF REAL ESTATE NON-ELIGIBLE FOR

Holly

Linda

To place your ad, call Linda or Holly at 803-359-7633.

FOR FIRST-CLASS PROFESSIONAL SERVICES AND PRODUCTS

Your Hometown Realtor!

803-206-7025

adamrepa@yahoo.com see all area listings at: www.adambedenbaugh.com

9-3

Call us, today!

803-359-7633

Why is she smiling?

Because her business is growing twice as fast as her competitor’s. She markets through the Chronicle.

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, July 9, 2015 | 5

King Features Weekly Service

PICKS OF THE WEEK Tangerines (R) — After the fall of the Soviet Union, a benevolent old farmer finds himself caught in war between Georgia and Abkhazian separatists. When the conflict comes right to his front yard, Ivo (Lembit Ulfsak) buries a few soldiers, and finds that two of them are still alive — one man from each side. As they recover in his small shack, Ivo asks each man to swear not to kill the other. The adversaries agree not to shed blood under his roof, but it’s a cramped, fragile peace between sworn enemies.

Before this film was nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars last year, most of us in the West had never heard of Estonian actor Lembit Ulfsak. After seeing this performance, it’s like finding out there there’s been another Ian Mckellen just hanging out, putting his awesome talent into stuff you’ve never seen.

The Wrecking Crew (PG) — This is another one of those music documentaries that introduces you to artists who are/were so good that you probably already love their work — but most folks have never heard of them.

In the 1960s and 1970s, the “West Coast Sound” that dominated the charts was mostly created by a handful of hardworking session musicians called “The Wrecking Crew.” With interviews, behind-the-scenes footage and a killer soundtrack, director Denny Tedesco — son of Tommy Tedesco, one of the Wreckers — explores the impact of the Wrecking Crew’s music and industry’s impact on them.

There have been a few similar documentaries in the past few years — “Twenty Feet from Stardom,” “Muscle Shoals” — because it’s a lot of fun hearing about the moment a legendary riff just popped into somebody’s head.

This one stands out because of the director’s personal connection with story, which adds family lore to rock history.

Wild Horses (R) — Written, directed and starring Robert Duvall, this meandering cowboy/family drama/ crime story has a lot of heart-to-heart talks, each one seemingly sprinkled

into the movie at random. Scott Briggs (Duvall) is a crusty ol’ cowboy who’s fixin’ to set up his last will. He reunites with his youngest son (James Franco), whom he kicked out of the house 15 years ago after catching him in the barn with another boy — that boy soon went missing. Now an oddly stiff Texas Ranger starts suspecting Scott is connected to the 15-year-old missing-person case. The cold-case stuff is boring as can be, and the family-bonding stuff has some stultifyingly cheesy dialog.

July 6, 2015

New DVDs Reviewed in This Column Will be Released the Week of July 20, 2015

Lembit Ulfsak in “Tangerines” Set Fire to the Stars (R) — Welsh poet Dylan Thomas was a man of gorgeous verse and terrifying appetite — a renowned writer almost as well-known for his drinking and shenanigans as for stirring poetry. This style-conscious black-and-white feature depicts a week when Thomas (Celyn Jones) was brought to New York for a speaking tour, held under guidance of tweeish American poetry professor John M. Brinnin (Elijah Wood). The madness and style of the movie is great, but it goes heavy on the morose and anxious elements of the characters.

TV RELEASES Ancient Aliens: Season 7 — Volume 1 Scooby-Doo! & KISS: Rock & Roll Mystery Robot Chicken: Season 7 Sharknado: Feeding Frenzy” Ford: The Man and The Machine — The Complete Mini-Series Son of the Dragon — The Complete Mini-Series The Fire Next Time — The Complete Mini-Series © 2015 King Features Synd., Inc.

More Detail With 3-D Detection.

Early detection is the best defense against breast cancer.

For women with dense breast tissue or those at high risk of developing breast cancer, 3-D mammograms can provide a clearer, more detailed view of breast tissue, and can lead to easier and earlier breast cancer detection.

As the first in the Midlands to offer this state-of-the-art technology, Lexington Medical Center is fighting breast cancer one millimeter at a time.

Call (803) 791-2486 to schedule an appointment or visit LexMed.com to learn more.

6 | Thursday, July 9, 2015

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

It’s a Dog’s Life

By Scoop Bellune

Trusting Parents

What a tangled web parents weave, thinking children are naive.

Phone Conversation

Several men were in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone that was laying on one of the benches began to ring. A man picked it up.

“Hello?” he said.

“Honey, It’s me.”

“Sugar!”

“Are you at the club?”

“Yes.” “Great! I am at the mall 2 blocks from there. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?”

“What’s the price?”

“Only $1,500” “Well, OK, go ahead and get, if you like it that much.”

“Ahhh and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new models.

I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price, and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year...”

“What price did he quote you?”

“Only $80,000...”

“OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

“Great! Before you hang up, one more thing...”

“What?”

“It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I think we can afford it. I drove by the house we had looked at last year and it’s on sale!! Remember? The one with the indoor pool, rose garden, tennis court, and beachfront property. I stopped by the real estate agent this morning to find out... “ “How much are they asking?”

“Only $4,500,000! Can you believe it? That’s a great price and we have enough in the bank to cover the down payment.”

“Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just offer 4.2 million. OK?” “OK, sweetie. Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”

“Bye, I do too.”

The man proceeded to close the flap on the phone

and raised it for everyone to see. Looking around, he asked, “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

Automobile Technology Many years ago the “high beam” switch used to be on the floor. Changes in technology, however, havemoved the this switch to the turn signal lever.

Now, my state’s motor vehicle code is mandating that the high beam switch be moved back down to the upper left corner of the floor board. Why you ask?

Too many dingbats are getting their feet caught in the steering column.

The Parent Test

THE MESS TEST Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains.

Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

THE TOY TEST Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen.

Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

THE GROCERY STORE TEST Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

THE DRESSING TEST Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

THE FEEDING TEST Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

THE NIGHT TEST Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand.

Soak it thoroughly in water.

At 3:00 pm begin to waltz

and hum with the bag until 9:00 pm. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard.

Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00am. Set the alarm for 5:00 am. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years and look cheerful.

THE INGENUITY TEST Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only scotch tape and a piece of foil.

Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs.

Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

THE AUTOMOBILE TEST Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.

Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies.

Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

There... ...perfect.

THE PHYSICAL TEST (Women) Obtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 1/2 of the beans.

Leave it on for the rest of your life.

THE PHYSICAL TEST (Men) Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

THE FINAL ASSIGNMENT Find a couple who already have a small child.

Lecture them on how they came improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child’s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them

that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience.

It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

I love my job

As Dr Seuss would write it.

I love my Job, I love the Pay! I love it more and more each day.

I love my Boss; he’s the best!

I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my Office and its location I hate to have to go on vacation.

I love my furniture, drab and gray, and the paper that piles up every day!

I love my chair in my padded Cell!

There’s nothing else I love so well.

I love to work among my Peers I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my Computer and all its Software; I hug it often though it doesn’t care...

I love each Program and every File, I try to understand once in a while!!

I’m happy to be here, I am I am; I’m the happiest Slave of my uncle Sam. I love this Work: I love these Chores.

I love the Meetings with deadly Bores.

I love my Job - I’ll say it again I even love these friendly Men These men who’ve come to visit today in lovely white coats to take me away!!

Perceptions

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.

“Next question,” announced the instructor.

“How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?”

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, “How do you spell ‘intellectual?’”

Guess What Day It

Is

Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, “I’ll bet you don’t know what day this is.”

“Of course I do,” he answered as if he was offended, and left for the office.

At 10:00 a.m., the doorbell rang and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box of a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1:00 p.m., a foilwrapped, two-pound box of her favorite chocolates was delivered. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.

The woman couldn’t wait for her husband to come home.

“First the flowers, then the chocolates and then the dress!” she exclaimed. “I’ve never had a more wonderful Groundhog Day in my life!”

Medical or Surgical?

The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children’s ward.

“Are you medical or surgical?” asked the first, who had been in the ward for a week.

“I don’t know what you mean,” replied the second.

“It’s simple,” replied the first. “Were you sick when you came in here? Or did they make you sick when you got here?”

A Child’s Glossary of Kitchen Terms

BOIL: The point a parent reaches upon hearing the automatic “Yuck” before a food is even tasted.

CASSEROLE: Combination of favorite foods that go uneaten because they are mixed together.

DESSERT: The reason for eating a meal.

EVAPORATE: Magic trick performed by children when it comes time to clear the table or wash dishes.

FRUIT: A natural sweet not to be confused with dessert.

REFRIGERATOR: A very expensive and inefficient room air conditioner when not being used as an art gallery.

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Chronicle

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The Ex

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.

The wife asks, “Do you know her?”

“Yes,” sighs the husband.

“She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My goodness!” says the wife. “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

Role Reversal

During the cold winter a family was preparing to go out for an evening activity.

The wife, who was normally bustling about getting the children ready to leave, was this evening instead standing right inside the front door, her arms full of coats. And instead of being prepared to leave, her four small children were busy running circles around her playing one of their non-stop games of tag.

Her husband, coming down the stairs, was shocked at the spectacle.

“Honey,” he said, “What are you doing just standing there? We’ll be late!”

“Here,” his wife replied, handing him the coats with a smug smile, “I thought that this time you would like to have the privilege of putting the children into their coats, while I go and honk the horn for you.”

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A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline checkin counter.

As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, “Why didn’t you bring the piano, too?”

“Are you trying to be funny?” she replied.

“No, I really wish you had,” he sighed. “I left the tickets on it.”

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Thursday, July 9, 2015 | 7

Lexingt on count y p each fest ival Photo bY val augustine

The Gilbert Peach Queens riding along during the Peach Festival Parade held July 4.

The Gilbert High School Cheerleaders enjoyed walking during the Peach Festival Parade .

Celebrate Your Independence with The Comporium float looking mighty patriotic during the parade.

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Your weekly guide to area events antebellum buildings and artifacts. Tues.-Sat 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Sunday 1-4 p.m.

Closed Mondays and holi-

$10.50; Members: Free; Children under one: Free. Info: 803 779 3100 LEXINGTON COUNTY MUSEUM: Collection of

events HISTORIC CEMETERY TOURS: Historic Columbia is offering two Elmwood Cemetery tours. Secrets From The Grave will be offered the 2nd Thursday of each month at 7:30 p.m.

Moonlight Cemetery Tours are offered the 2nd Thursday of each month through September at 8 and 8:30 p.m. Bring a flashlight. Tickets for adults $12, youth $6; member tickets $8 and $4. Purchase tickets at historiccolumbia.org or email reservations@historiccolumbia.com or cal 803-252-1770, ext. 23.

Tours last about an hour.

CANNING WORKSHOP: July 18, 10 a.m.-noon, Clemson Extension agents will show you how to preserve your garden’s harvest at Wingard’s Nursery, 1403 North Lake Drive Lexington, Cost is $25 and you get to take home canned goods. 803359-9091.

Wild Summer’s Nite Auction & Wild Game Feast: August 8, 6-10 p.m., , Seawells’s Restauramt. 1125 Rosewood Dr., Columbia. Sponsored by S.C. Wildlife Federation. Cost $75 to $85.

Enjoy raffles, games, silent and live auctions, dinner, and friends!

Visit scwf.org for info.

LAKE MURRAY STAND UP PADDLEBOARD CLASSIC: September 26, 8 a.m.-4 p.m. on Lake Murray with more than 25 participants. Proceeds benefit Special Olympics..

Spectators free. SCE&G Public beach and park, Lexington side of the dam. After party at the British Bulldog, 1220 Bower Pkwy, Columbia. Contact Rick or Grace for race registration information (903) 994-9535.

FOOD & FUN The 34th Annual South Carolina Peanut Party is accepting applications from new food vendors, homemade crafters, and exciting entertainment groups for consideration this year. Our event is August 7 & 8, 2015. Anyone interested in applying for this year’s festival should contact Susan Enlow at 803.606.9522 or senlow1@ gmail.com.

150th anniversary: The Pleasant Hill Missionary Baptist Church will celebrate its 150th year at 2 p.m. Sunday, July 12 at the church, 300 Hermitage Road, Lexington 29072.

For information call Rev. Eugene Rush, Jr., at 957-8877.

Lessons/seminars 4-H SEWING CLASS: ​July 28, 9:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Clemson Extension Office, 605 W. Main St., Lexington. $75 fee covers lunch and materials to make a tote bag. Youth should register by July 21 (limited to 10 youth). Call (803) 359-8515 ext.

0 or email aliviag@clemson.edu for information or to register.

WHAT’S THIS WEED: Seminar on identifying backyard weeds July 30, 9 a.m.-noon, Clemson Extension Office, 605 W. Main St., Lexington. Fee $20. Bring weed samples from your own landscape. Register by July 22. Call (803) 359-8515 ext. 0 or email vbertag@clemson.edu to register or for additional information. Limited to 35

registrants, first come-first served.

SQ. DANCE/LINE DANCE LESSONS: Sundays, 2-4 p.m., Hugh Dimmery Memorial Center, 680 Cherokee Ln., West Columbia. $5 per class. Sponsored

by The Columbia Twirlers, 803-7720546 or http://www.scsquaredance.com/ or http://www.thebarnsc. com/ HELP FOR COUNTY VETERANS: Veterans’ Affairs Officer Ed Lundeen meets Veterans, surviving spouses, dependents and beneficiaries at area Gaston Library first Thursday each month – 10 a.m.-12 p.m.; Chapin Library, first Friday of each month – 9 a.m.-11 a.m.; and BatesburgLeesville Library, second Friday of each month – 10 a.m.-noon. The office provides education, advice and assistance in filing VA claims and information regarding VA programs. Appointments encouraged, call 803785-8400 Monday-Friday 8am-5pm.

meetings PINE RIDGE WOMEN’S CLUB: Meets 3rd Thursday each month September through May at Pine Ridge Town Hall. Info: Hazel Kanipe, 803-755-9995.

CAREGIVER RELIEF: Babcock Center is launching WOW! Seniors Program, made possible through a grant from the United Way of the Midlands, to provide caregiver relief opportunities on the weekends for those caring for people with intellectual disabilities, autism and related disabilities age 55 and older within their home. Program runs 8 a.m.–4 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays at sites located in Richland and Lexington counties.

Free to individuals who are not currently receiving supports through the Department of Disabilities and Special Needs. Information, call Marcus Smith, 799-1970.

music Pianist Jim Hendrick’s in Concert: Save the Date- Sunday, July 12th – 4 pm at Ashland United Methodist Church on Ashland Road Columbia SC. Come and enjoy traditional Gospel and contemporary Christian music. His concerts are filled with fun, humor and energy. Jim has performed in churches, the Glenn Miller Orchestra and Della Reese, and others!

Park Street Baptist: Bob Michalski, saxophone will be in concert Sunday, July 19th at 6:00 pm. 2204 Park Street, Columbia, SC 29201. Call 252-6434 for more information.

museums EDVENTURE CHILDREN’S MUSEUM: A learning experience especially for children 12 and under, MondaySaturday 9 a.m.-5 p.m. and Sundays noon to 5 p.m. 211 Gervais Street, Columbia, Children and Adults: $11.50; Seniors (62+): $10.50; Military (with ID):

Fish Wrapper storm team forecast friday Saturday mostly mostly sunny sunny HI 99|LO 73 Prec chance: 20%

HI 98|LO 74

Prec chance: 0%

days. 231 Fox Street at U.S. 378 (Columbia Ave.) Adults $5, children $2. Info: 359-8369.

SC ARCHIVES & HISTORY CENTER: Open MonFri, 8:45 a.m. - 4:45 p.m., at 8301 Parklane Road, Columbia.

COLUMBIA MUSEUM OF ART: Corner Main and Hampton, Columbia. Tu. - Fri. 11 a.m. - 5 p.m.

Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. 12 p.m.-5 p.m. Closed Mondays.

Adults $10, Students $5. Every Sunday is free. Info 799-2810.

Free admission to all active duty military personnel and their families.

S.C. STATE MUSEUM: 301 Gervais St., 8984921. Adults $7, seniors $6, children 3-12 $5, under 3 free, Military discount.

reunions ​MTC RADIOLOGY REUNION: Midlands Technical College will have a radiology reunion and a celebration of the retirement of Dr. Bill Mulkey Nov. 6, 6:30 p.m., at DoubleTree Hotel on Bush River Road. Contact mulkeyradreunion@gmail.com​for details and reservations.

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