Lake Murray Fish Wrapper

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, October 2, 2014 | 1

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You supply the fish, we supply the wrapper.

Steal this paper — please!

INSIDE THIS WEEK

What you’re missing in the Lexington County Chronicle & The Dispatch-News: •

Kenny Bingham withdraws from S.C. House Speaker race • SCE&G customers to pay for $200M mistake • S.C. Ethics Commission to investigate Chapin town clerk complaint • Attorneys seek gag order in case involving deaths of 5 children • Justin Britt announces candidacy for sheriff’s post

Subscribe for our print and online editions! Only

$45 a year!

Call 359-7633

PHOTO BY JUDY TURNER FOX

Batesburg-Leesville High School senior, Jill Derrick, was crowned 2014 Homecoming queen during the B-L vs. Gilbert football game on September 26. Jill is the daughter of Clay and Andrea Derrick. First runner up was Bailey Dawkins, daughter of Michael and Christy Dawkins and second runner up was Shakeyma Irving, daughter of Melvin and Karen Irving. Pictured are: Shakeyma Irving, Jill Derrick and Bailey Dawkins.

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2 | Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Carolina Pulmonary proudly welcomes

Richard W. Monk, MD Dr. Monk has joined the board-certified physicians at Carolina Pulmonary to provide quality adult pulmonary and critical care services.

He graduated from the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston, where he completed his internal medicine internship and residency, as well as a pulmonary and critical care fellowship. A member of the American College of Chest Physicians and the American Thoracic Society, Dr. Monk is board certified in internal medicine and pulmonary disease. He joins Francis Dayrit, MD, FCCP, Sarkis Derderian, DO, Paul Kirschenfeld, MD, Christopher Marshall, MD, and Mohammed Soliman, MD, who are board certified and specialize in pulmonary, critical care and sleep medicine.

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The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, October 2, 2014 | 3

White Knoll Timberwolves

The Timberwolves ran onto the field to start the game this past Friday night.

The White Knoll Timberwolves cheerleaders.

ANSWERS

We make forgetting a prescription less of a headache.

With so much going on, getting your prescription refill can fall through the cracks. Don’t worry. Call our pharmacy any time day or night to order refills.

These houses of worship invite you to attend this week.

LEXINGTON 308 East Main Street, Lexington www.lexingtonbaptist.org Sundays

Rev. Rev. Raymond Carlo

9:00 & 10:30 am - Blended Services

2350 Augusta Hwy.

Wednesday Evening Activities for all ages Senior Pastor Mike Turner

United Methodist Church

Traditional Service 8:30am, 11:00am & Tuesdays at 6:30 pm Contemporary Service 11:00am on Sunday Pastors - Ken Owens and Miyoung Paik 309 East Main Street • Lexington 359-6838 • www.lexumcsc.com

-

Worship - 10:30am Sunday School - 9:30am Communion Every Sunday stdavid@alltel.net

www.fblex.org Sunday: 9am Blended Service 10:30am Contemporary Service Wed: 5pm Dinner 6:30pm Service

Wednesday Bible Study 7:00 p.m.

HOLY TRINITY EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH

Let newcomers know about your church and fellowship. Advertise for just a few dollars a week right here.

Call 359-7633.

2920 Pella Ave. – West Columbia, SC 29170 • • •

We still believe and teach: Jesus Christ is the only Savior of mankind; baptizing and teaching “all things whatsoever” His Word teaches. (Mt. 28)

Come grow with us in the knowledge of your Savior and His peace.

SS. & Bible Class: 10a.m. • Sunday worship: 11a.m.

Pastor Vance Fossum • 803-796-0005 • www.LexingtonLutheran.org

Great advertising rates! Call us!

359-7633

CLASSIFIED

4 | Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

LEXINGTON COUNTY

10,000 readers

CHRONICLE AND The Dispatch-News—SINCE 1870

16,000 readers

Classifieds on the internet at www.lexingtonchronicle.com

www.lexingtonchronicle.com

8:30 a.m. - 5 p.m.

FOR SALE

201 Card of Thanks 202 In Memoriam 203 Misc. Announcements 204 Cemeteries 205 Lost & Found 206 Travel/Cruise 207 Business Notices 208 Instruction/Training 301 Misc. Services 302 Building/Contracting 303 Heating/AC

101

AUCTIONS

ABANDONED VEHICLE The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Extreme Recovery LLC 147 Vera Rd, Suite E Lexington SC 29072 Phone:(803)422-8924 2004 GMC Yukon VIN: 3GKEC162346125590 2012 Yanaha Scooter VIN: RKR5A20A3BA910435 2001 Ford Taurus VIN:

CHILD/ELDER CARE 501 Child Care 502 Elder Care

ABANDONED VEHICLE The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Copart 4324 Hwy 321S Gaston, SC 29053 Office (803)794-3252 Fax (803)794-3718 1)02 ISU RODEO S/ LS BLACK VIN: 4S2DM58W124318995 2)05 HOND ACCORD EX SILVR VIN: 1HGC-

M66585A005666 3) 02 HYUN ELANTRA GL GREEN VIN: KMHDN45D72U255211 4)12 HYUN SANTA FE S BLACK VIN: 5XYZH4AG6CG097934 5)08 FRHT CASCADIA 1 BLUE VIN: 1FUJGLCK78LAA7348 6)07 KIA SEDONA EX/ BLACK VIN: KNDMB233376138765 7)03 CHEV IMPALA WHITE VIN: 2G1WF52E939232520 8)13 OTHR HOMESTEAD BLACK VIN: 5FJUF07161M173576 10-2

ABANDONED VEHICLE The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed

801 Boats 802 Campers/RVs

851 Automobiles 852 Trucks 853 Motorcycles 854 Commercial

601 Business Opportunities 602 Business Loans 603 Personal Loans 604 Investments/Stocks 701 Home Rentals 702 Apt Rentals 703 Vacation Rentals 704 Manufactured Homes 705 Commercial 706 Homes for Sale 707 Apt. for Sale 708 Mobile Home Lots 709 Lots & Acreage 710 Commercial for Sale 711 Wanted to Buy 712 Misc. Rentals

of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: Tillman Towing 1749 Airport Blvd.

Cayce, SC 29033 (803)794-5060 (803)794-8060 fax 1991 Nissan Truck 1N6SD11S6MC419698 1993 Nissan Maxima JN1HJ01F1PT130531 2002 Saturn 1G82K527X2Z235040 1994 Geo Tracker 2CNBJ18U8R6931297 10-2

ABANDONED VEHICLE The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder,

Deadlines:

855 STATEWIDE CLASSIFIEDS PUBLIC NOTICES

REAL ESTATE

Special Rates for Special People!

20 words or less for $20 25¢ for each additional word Ads appear in the Lexington County Chronicle, Lake Murray Fish Wrapper and on www.LexingtonChronicle.com.

TRANSPORTATION

FINANCIAL

401 Help Wanted - Misc.

402 Help Wanted - Drivers 403 Help Wanted - Labor 404 Help Wanted - Skilled 405 Help Wanted - Sales 406 Help Wanted - Office 407 Help Wanted - Management 408 Help Wanted - Medical 409 Help Wanted - Professional 450 Employment Wanted

1FAFP55UX1A118007 1996 Oldsmobile Bravada VIN: 1GHDT13W9T2703114 10-2

BOATS/CAMPERS

551 Dogs/Cats/Pets 552 Livestock 553 Farm Products

EMPLOYMENT

ANNOUNCEMENTS

FOR SALE

FARM/PETS

304 Income Tax Service 305 Insurance 306 Landscaping 308 Pest Control 309 Plumbing 310 Painting 311 Healthcare 312 Clerical

101 Auctions 102 Garage/Yard Sales 103 Furniture 104 Appliances/TV 105 Computers 106 Spa/Pool 107 Misc. for Sale 108 Wanted to Buy

SERVICES

(803) 359-7633 Monday - Friday

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Legals: 5 p.m. Friday for following Thursday publication.

Line Classifieds: Noon Monday for Thursday publication. Holidays are an exception. Call for details.

900 Legals 901 Master In Equity Foreclosures Rates: $20 a week for 1 week $18 a week for 2 weeks $16 a week for 3 weeks $14 a week for 4 weeks

By Mail: Enclose payment with ad copy and mail to Lexington County Chronicle, PO Box 9, Lexington SC 29071

By Phone: Call 803-359-7633 to charge to your VISA or MC account.

All classified advertising is prepaid.

or other interested party should contact: Furtick’s Auto Service & Repair 230 Bitternut Ct. Gaston, SC 29053 803-794-4731 2000 Chevrolet Cavalier VIN: 1G1JC12433879 10-2

PUBLIC NOTICE The below listed vehicle has been abandoned in Lexington County and is currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner or any lien holder has the right to reclaim the motor vehicle within thirty days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle into custody. The failure of the owner or lienholders to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle within the time provided is deemed a waiver by the owner and lien holders of all right, title, interest in the vehicle and consent to the sale of a vehicle at a public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above. The vehicle may be disposed of according to above stated law. Any owner, lien holder or other interested person should contact the County Towing and Recovery, LLC, 3085 Princeton Road West Columbia, South Carolina 29170 OR 6072 St Andrews Road, Columbia, South Carolina 29212 Phone 803-955-3003 OR

803-708-6017.

1994 Dodge Grand Caravan 1B4GH44R3RX195424 10-2

F3CY602094

ABANDONED VEHICLE

The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: C&D TOWING, LLC PO Box 2705 West Columbia 29171 1995 Chevrolet Blazer VIN: 1GNDT13W0S2187480 1979 Buick Lasebre VIN: 4P69Y9H519301 10-2

The below listed vehicles have been abandoned in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: M&W Towing, LLC PO Box 2716 West Columbia 794-7004 1997 Pontiac Grand Prix VIN: 1G2WP12K1VF281082 2012 Tao Tao Moped VIN: L9NTEACB4B1006562 2013 YY50QT6 Moped VIN: L8YTCAP-

10-2

ABANDONED VEHICLE

ABANDONED VEHICLE The below listed vehicles have been abandoned

in Lexington County and are currently housed with the company listed below.

Pursuant to applicable South Carolina law, the owner and or lien holder has the right to claim the motor vehicle within thirty (30) days after the date of this notice upon payment of all towing, preservation, and storage charges resulting from placing the vehicle in custody. The failure of the owner and or lien holder to exercise their right to reclaim the vehicle with the time provided it is deemed as a waiver by the owner and or the lien holder of all rights,title,interest,in the vehicle and consent to the sale of the vehicle at public auction. If not reclaimed within the time period outlined above the vehicle may be disposed of according to state law.

Any owner, lien holder, or other interested party should contact: A-1 Wrecker Service 1113 Hall Street West Columbia, SC 794-0077 1995 Chevrolet Blazer VIN: 1GNCS13W9S2210219 1996 Oldsmobile Bravada VIN: 1GHDT13W1T2702118 10-2

NOTICE OF SALE Notice is hereby given that on October 10, 2014 at 10:00AM, a public sale will be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien against the following: At: Q’s Quick Mini

Business Directory Lexington County Chronicle AND The Dispatch-News—SINCE 1870

Holly

ROUTE DRIVERS

Looking for responsible, hardworking route drivers with reliable transportation. Route is Wednesdays and/or Thursdays every week in Lexington County. Please send qualifications to Blind Box, PO Box 9, Lexington, SC 29071 or email maryannesoupy@gmail.com UFN Storage 200 Industrial Drive Lexington SC 29072 803-359-5883 Unit 54 - Brown, I Furniture, clothing, toys Unit 127 - Addy - Furniture, misc. household items 10-2

NOTICE OF SALE Notice is hereby given that on October 14, 2014 at 1:30 p.m. an Auction will be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien.

C58 – David Gibson – File Cabinet, Plastic Bins, Couch, Boxes, Chairs E189 – Marquita Davis – Hand Truck, Couch, C h a i r, Ta b l e , C h a i r s , Rocker E226 – Carla Glover – Table, Chairs, Sink, Pedestal, Dresser, Boxes, Totes, Head Board, Mattress, Boxspring F290 – Lynda McCaskill – Totes, Boxes G339 – Sandra Martin – Couch, Small Bed, Totes, Boxes, Pictures G367 – Martie Williams – (2) Carseats, (2) Vacuums, Fishing Rods,

Mattresses, Box Springs, Bike, Dresser w/ Mirror G372 – Martie Williams – Desk, Tote, Boxes, Chair, Couch, Storage Table G385 – Daniel Huggins – Chest, TV, Microwave, Mirror G392- Jazmaine Jeffery-Printer, Lamps, Vacuum, Cabinet, Stand, Table, Boxes, Bags J501- Johnny Prince – (2) Turntables, Speakers, Table, Chair, Stool, Gas Cans, Sofa At: UHAUL STORAGE JAMIL ROAD 882074 156 Jamil Road Columbia, SC 29210 (803) 798-6184 10-2

NOTICE OF SALE Notice is hereby given that on October 14, 2014 at 12:30 p.m. an auction will be held for the purpose of satisfying a landlord lien.

E119 – Altovise Good

Linda

Chuck

To place your ad, call Linda, Holly, or Chuck at 803-359-7633.

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The Cooperative Ministry 3 8 2 1 W. B e l t l i n e B l v d Columbia, SC 29204

Quality Repairs 35 years Experience 4735 Augusta Rd., Lexington

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10-9

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Do you want to be my partner?

I’m looking for a highly-motivated individual to join me in an exciting adventure -- developing sales for clients of the Lexington County Chronicle and the Lake Murray Fish Wrapper.

If you’re the one I’m looking for, you need to have: 1. The experience and conviction that selling is your calling.

2. The smarts to build relationships with business owners and entrepreneurs.

3. The savvy to help your clients develop advertising and marketing campaigns that will increase their profits and incomes.

Obsession Bows

4730 B Augusta Road Lexington SC 29072 www.lexingtonoutdoorsandarchery.com 1-8

4-3

GUNS & AMMO Main 803.957.2483

4. The coachability to learn to sell by referral rather than cold calling.

5. The brains to learn the power of direct response advertising to help your clients sell more to more people more often.

As my partner, we both work on commission. That means we can make a great income if we are willing to get out and work for it.

If you believe in your heart that this is for you, call me at 359-7633.

— Linda Sauls

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, October 2, 2014 | 5

RAVELIN’ T

6 | Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

WITH THE CHRONICLE

The Yorktown picks up Apollo 8 in the Pacific

PHOTO BY MARK BELLUNE | CHRONICLE

David Clark, Director of Museum Services at Patriots Point, right, discusses the Apollo 8 mission with Chronicle Editor, Emeritus Jerry Bellune while on tour of the USS Yorktown at Patriots Point recently.

Dramatic recovery of first moon orbit flight Over the next weeks, MacLeod, Mark and Jerry Bellune will take you on their adventures to exciting places where history was made in our state. You may follow their footsteps in your own adventures.

Charleston, S.C.

The closing days of World War II were just as stressful for the Yorktown’s crew.

On August 13, 1945, her aircraft hit Tokyo for the last time. Two days later, Japan agreed to surrender.

Air strikes planned for that day were canceled but she stood by as peace negotiations continued.

Her aircraft were then ordered to provide cover for forces occupying Japan.

After Japan’s formal surrender on board the battleship Missouri September 2, the Yorktown began airdropping supplies to Allied prisoners of war still confined to prison camps.

That was her last action in World War II. But there were more missions for her to come.

Recovering Apollo 8 The Yorktown received the Presidential Unit Citation, and earned 11 battle stars for service in World War II. Much of the 1944 Academy Award-winning documentary “The Fighting Lady” was filmed on board.

In the 1950s, an angled deck was added to the car-

rier to better operate jet fighter planes.

In 1958, she was designated an anti-submarine aircraft carrier and earned five battle stars for service off Vietnam (1965-1968).

She played an important role in the American space program when she recovered Apollo 8’s astronauts in December 1968.

Apollo 8, you may remember, was the second human spaceflight mission in the U.S. space program.

It was launched on December 21, 1968, and became the first manned spacecraft to leave earth orbit, reach the moon, orbit it and return safely.

The three-astronaut crew — Commander Frank Borman, Command Module Pilot James Lovell and Lunar Module Pilot William Anders — became the first to travel beyond low earth orbit, the first to see directly the far side of the moon, and the first to witness earthrise over the moon.

Lovell, in fact, was later commander of Apollo 13 who engineered its safe return after a disastrous accident in space almost cost the crew their lives.

The story has been retold in his book, “Apollo 13,” and the movie of the same name in which Tom Hanks played Lovell.

The Apollo 8 mission was the third flight of the Saturn V rocket, that rocket’s first manned launch and the first human spaceflight launch from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida.

The mission was originally planned for early 1969 as the second test of

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the complete Apollo spacecraft, including the Lunar Module and the Command/Service Module. But when the Lunar Module proved unready to make its first test, NASA officials decided to fly Apollo 8 as a more ambitious lunar orbital flight without the Lunar Module.

This meant the crew was to fly three months sooner than originally planned, leaving them less time for training and preparation.

It put more demands than usual on their time.

Apollo 8 took three days to travel to the moon.

It orbited 10 times in 20 hours, during which the crew made a Christmas Eve TV broadcast where they read the first 10 verses from the Book of Genesis.

At the time, the broadcast was the most watched TV program ever.

Apollo 8’s success led to Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin fulfilling President John F. Kennedy’s goal of landing a man on the Moon before the end of the 1960s.

On December 27, 1968, the Apollo 8 astronauts splashed down in the Northern Pacific Ocean and were picked up by an excited Yorktown crew.

The astronauts were named Time Magazine’s 1968 Men of the Year.

On the Yorktown today, you can visit her Apollo 8 exhibit with a space capsule replica that will give you a similar experience to what the astronauts saw, heard and felt on board.

Travel series If you missed earlier installment’s of this series on S.C. battlegrounds, you can read them at LexingtonChronicle.com

Apollo 8 astronauts, Frank Borman, William Anders and James Lovell whose historic orbital moon flight is honored on board the USS Yorktown.

Next: The hall of heroes

PLACE YOUR AD IN 107 S.C. NEWSPAPERS

and reach more than 2.5 million readers using our small space display ad network

Statewide or regional buys available Donna Yount 888.727.7377 scnewspapernetwork.com South Carolina

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The Pumpkin Patch Train

is a Family Treat!

October 18th and 25th

10:30 a.m., 11:30 a.m., 1:30 p.m., 2:30 p.m.

Take a one hour scenic round trip to our Pumpkin Patch. Meet our friendly Scarecrow and enjoy many fall activities.

Reserve your tickets TODAY! For more information visit www.scrm.org or call 803-712-4135

RAILROAD

110 Industrial Park Rd., Winnsboro, SC Just 5 miles off I-77 Exit 34

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

Thursday, October 2, 2014 | 7

It’s a Dog’s Life

By Scoop Bellune bicycles and wear name tags because they don’t Sales Dogs know who they are anymore.

There was a hound dog They go to a building laying in the yard. An old called a wrecked center, but man in overalls was sitting they must have got it fixed on the porch. because it is all okay now, “Excuse me, Sir, but does they do exercises there, but your dog bite?”, the visiting they don’t do them very salesman asked. well.

The old man replied, There is a swimming “Nope.” pool too, but they all jump So the salesman stepped up and down in it with hats out of his car. The dog ran on. over snarling and growling At their gate, there is a and bit him on his arms and doll ho use with a little old legs. man sitting in it. He watchAs the dog was dragging es all day so nobody can eshim away, the salesman was cape. Sometimes they sneak flailing around in the dust out, and go cruising in their and yelled, “I thought you golf carts. Nobody there said your dog didn’t bite!” cooks, they just eat out.

The old man replied, And, they eat the same “Ain’t my dog.” thing every night --- early birds.

Retardment Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the After Christmas, a teach- doll house. The ones who er asked her young pupils do get out, bring food back how they spent their holito the wrecked center for day away from school. pot luck. My Grandma says One child wrote the folthat Grandpa worked all his lowing: life to earn his retardment We always used to spend and says I should work the holidays with Grandma hard so I can be retarded and Grandpa. They used to someday too. live in a big brick house but When I earn my retardGrandpa got retarded and ment, I want to be the man they moved to Florida . in the doll house. Then I Now they live in a tin box will let people out, so they and have rocks painted can visit their grandchilgreen to look like grass. dren.

They ride around on their

Traffic Ticket

“What am I supposed to do with this?” grumbled the motorist as the police clerk handed him a receipt for his traffic violation.

“Keep it,” the clerk advises. “When you get four of them, you get a bicycle.”

Youthful Thinking When a man of fifty falls in love with a women of thirty, it isn’t her youth he is seeking but his own.

Monkey Bath Two monkeys are getting into a bath.

One says, “ooo oooo oooh ahhh ahhh ahhh” The other replies, “put some cold water in it then!”

Planning Ahead One rainy evening, my husband and I emerged from a restaurant, only to find that he had locked the keys in the car. He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found.

He then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a coat hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open, and we climbed in.

As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, “Now if this ever happens again, I’ll have one.”

Shaving Technique A man enters a Barber Shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problem he has getting a close shave around his cheeks.

“I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.”

The client places the ball in his mouth and proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced.

After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, “And what if I swallow it?”

“No problem” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does!”

Medical Terminology A man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.

When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it.

Introductory October Massage

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Thoughtful Services at a Thoughtful Price

Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”

“Well, in plain English,” the doctor replied, “you’re just lazy.”

“Okay,” said the man.

“Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.”

and inquires further, “It’s that event with the CANVAS tent, right?

Bartender asks, “Yeah, so?”

“Well, what the heck does he want with a drywall worker?”

Duck Work

Shady Church Practices

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. In amazement, the bartender exclames, “HEY. you can talk!”

“Yes, I do. So what?” asks the duck as he flies up to the stool.

The bartender asks what else the duck does.

“I work across the street doing construction on the new building going up, and I’d like to come here during lunch to have a beer once in a while.”

The bartender says that it would be fine with him, so the duck comes in day after day during lunch for a brew.

Then one day the circus comes to town and the ringmaster comes into the same bar, but he’s there earlier than the duck’s usual time.

The bartender finds out this guy is the ringmaster of a big circus and says: “Hey, you ought to check out this talking duck that comes in for a beer everyday around lunchtime!”

“Really?” Asks the Ringmaster. “I could sure use one of those. Tell the duck that if he wants to make a lot more money than he makes now, to come by and see me.” Then, after drinking his beer, the ringmaster leaves the bar and heads back to work.

So the duck comes in to the bar that day at lunch, and the bartender jumps up and tells the duck the good news.

“Hey, the circus is in town and their ringmaster wants you to be part of their circus for MORE BUCKS than you’re getting now!!”

The duck says, “Wow, that’s great! But is it that big event down at the fairgrounds with the high-top deal?”

Bartender says “Yeah, so what?”

The duck cocks his head

Stacy Hendrix Pharmacist

Direct Cremation $995 Traditional burial with casket and vault $5295

The youth director of a local church had been trying for months to get the boy down the street to come to church to be with his third grade Sunday school class. Finally after talking to the boy and his mother for what seemed to be the hundredth time the boy finally agreed to go this next Sunday.

He managed to show up on Sunday, and seemed to enjoy all of the proceedings, except as the baptismal service began he ran out the back door and ran all the way home.

His mother asked him why did he run home instead of riding with the youth minister.

The little boy answered, “Its all a racket, They get you there and let you make all those nice things and tell you great stories just to get you relaxed so they can drown you at the end of one of the services.”

Funeral Cookies An elderly man was at home, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died.

He fell out of bed, crawled to the landing, rolled down the stairs, and crawled into the kitchen where his wife was busily baking cookies.

With waning strength he crawled to the table and was just barely able to lift his withered arm to the cookie sheet.

As he grasped a warm, moist, chocolate chip cookie, his favorite kind, his wife suddenly whacked his hand with a spatula.

“Why?” he whispered.

“Why did you do that?”

“They’re for the funeral.”

Vitamin D & Deme ntia Risk Researchers found an association be tween low vitamin D levels and the risk of developing de mentia. The study tested the vitamin D blo od levels of abou t 1,600 people over age 65 and followed up on them for about 5-1 /2 years. Participa nts who had low levels of vitamin D were 53% more likely to deve lop demntai, and those who were severel y deficient were 12 5% more likely than pe ople with normal vitamin D levels. Vitam in D can be obtai ned from exposure to the sun, via supp lements and from foo ds such as milk, eggs, cheese and fatty fish.

359-2587

SINCE 1924

1207 W. Main St. Lexington Mon-Fri 8:30-6 Sat 8:30-2

Serving the community for good health prescriptions • medical equipment • compounding

8 | Thursday, October 2, 2014

The Lake Murray Fish Wrapper | www.lexingtonchronicle.com

YOUR WEEKLY GUIDE TO AREA EVENTS EVENTS YARD SALE:$1 Yard Sale. All items $1, Clothes, shoes, and miscellaneous items. Saturday Oct. 4 7am-12pm. Sponsored by the Steward Board. New Bethel AME Church 500 South Lake Drive Lexington, SC. 3RD ANNUAL CARDIO FOR THE CURE: Join the fun Saturday, October 4 at 9am. $5 donation collected at class. All donations go directly to Palmetto Health Walk for Life. Saxe Gotha Aerobics Angels. Saxe Gotha Presbyterian Church Fellowship Hall 5503 Sunset Blvd. Lexington, SC 29072. For more information call 803-260-5817.

LYBRAND: Descendants of Samuel W. and Beulah Fikes Lybrand, Oct. 12, 1 p.m., Holiday Shores Point 11 miles west of Lexington on U.S. 378. Bring picnic lunch and beverage.

Plates, cups and ice furnished.

Info: 803-892-5145.

PARTY WITH A PURPOSE: Lexington Woman’s Club is preparing for it’s 2nd Annual Party with a Purpose.

Friday October 17, 6:30pm9:00pm at Reflections, 1937 Augusta Hwy. The fine wines and popular craft beers will be featured as guests enjoy heavy horsd’euves and consider bidding on 30+ silent auction items. $25 per ticket. For more information and tickets contact Miriam Williams at 803-4472511 or mermiwilliams@yahoo.com.

OUT OF THE DARKNESS COMMUNITY WALK: Support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in a walk at Columbia Riverfront Park Oct. 26, 2 p.m. Park is on corner of Huger and Laurel streets. Register online at www.outofthedarkness.org until noon October 24. Donations can be made through January 1 at 12 a.m.

LEXINGTON COUNTY VETERAN’S PARADE; Nov. 2 on Main Street and South Lake Drive, downtown Lexington. Parade begins at 3 p.m. A memorial service will be held at the Veterans Monument following the parade. No entry fee. For info, call Sharon Willis, 785-1454 or Veterans Affairs Office, 785-8400.

HALLOWEEN SPIRITS ALIVE! CEMETERY TOUR: Grab your flashlight and join Historic Columbia for guided tours presenting some of Columbia’s eerie and peculiar past by the light of the moon on Thursday, Oct. 9 at Elmwood Cemetery.

Tours begin every 30 minutes, 6 – 8:30 p.m. Tickets $12 for non-member adults, $6 for non-member youth (17 and under), $8 for HC member adults and $4 for HC member youth.

Reserve tickets online at historiccolumbia.org, by emailingreservations@historiccolumbia.org or by phone at 803.252.1770 ext. 23.

WICKED COLUMBIA: Oct. 2, 2 p.m., take a tour through Columbia’s villainous past led

by Wicked Columbia author Alexia Jones Helsley. From triple hangings at Potter’s Field to

SANCTUARY Pastoral Care Center presents:

the lure of ladies of the evening, Columbia has a history as famously hot as its weather, and this guided bus tour will explore several sites discussed in Wicked Columbia. Meet at the Robert Mills Carriage House, 1616 Blanding St. The tour is $12 for non-member adults, $6 for non-member youth, $8 for Historic Columbia member adults and $4 for HC member youth. Admission for children 5 and under is free. For reservations, visit historiccolumbia.org or contact us at 803.252.1770 ext. 23 or reservations@historiccolumbia.org.

HAUNTED HISTORY HALLOWEEN: Ghoulish guides lead you on an educational tour through the Lexington County Museum grounds telling ghost stories from the past. The 45-minute tours start at 231 Fox Street in Lexington Oct. 16 and 17 at 7 and 8 p.m.

Tickets are $6 for adult nonmembers and $3 for children nonmembers. Members free with membership card. Info: 803-359-8369 or email JRFennell@lex-co.com.

TRICKS OR TREATS: S.C. State Museum hosts its annual Halloween event Oct. 18 and Oct. 25, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Includes haunted Halloween party with games and prizes, a scavenger hunt, crafts, balloon art and much more! In the planetarium, guests can see HalloScream Laser Lights, a thrilling family fun laser show featuring Halloween music and Legends of the Night Sky: Perseus and Andromeda, a laser light cartoon that looks at the myths and stories associated with fall constellations. Wear a costume and receive $1 off museum general admission for the day. Activities are included with museum general admission or membership. There is an additional fee to see the laser light shows. Visit scmuseum.org to learn more.

HOWL-O-WEEN: Halloween dog event Oct. 25, 11 a.m.- 2 p.m., at Sesquicentennial State Park on Two Notch Road in northeast Columbia. Free with park admission. Admission: adults $2, children 15 and under free, 65 and over, diabled and military 75¢. Dog costume contest with variety of categories and prizes, photos with your dog, vendor of pet-related items. Proceeds benefit Friends of Sesqui and Sesqui Dog Park.

Info: (803) 788-2706 or e-mail sesqui@scprt.com.

SCARECROWS IN THE GARDEN: Oct. 1-Nov.2 at the Robert Mills House gardens. Free exhibit features handcrafted scarecrows made by local families, businesses, organizations and classrooms.

Enter the Scarecrows in the Garden Contest by Monday, Sept. 29 to see your creation on display; entries are $10 for families and individuals, $20 for businesses and organizations and $10 for classrooms. Register for a $15 scarecrow kit for

by Wednesday, Sept. 17 to help you get started on your scarecrow, or join us at our scarecrows workshop on Saturday, Sept. 20 for guided instructions, a scarecrow kit and inspiration from scarecrows that have visited the gardens in previous years. Workshop admission is $15, and don’t forget to bring clothes and items from

Everyt you wan hing ted to kn about ra ow ising tee nagers, but didn ’t know w ho to ask...

home to personalize your scarecrow.

LESSONS HELP FOR COUNTY VETERANS: Veterans’ Affairs Officer Ed Lundeen meets Veterans, surviving spouses, dependents and beneficiaries at area Gaston Library first Thursday each month – 10 a.m.-12 p.m.; Chapin Library, first Friday of each month – 9 a.m.-11 a.m.; and BatesburgLeesville Library, second Friday of each month – 10 a.m.-noon. The office provides education, advice and assistance in filing VA claims and information regarding VA programs. Appointments encouraged, call 803-7858400 Monday-Friday 8am-5pm.

MUSEUMS MUSEUM ROADSHOW: Oct. 11, 9:30 a.m.-4 p.m., you can get informal appraisals of your fine art, textiles, military memorabilia, furniture, jewelry and more at the S.C. State Museum in Columbia. Limit: four items per person. Tickets are $25 for first item, $35 for two, $45 for three and $50 for four (discounts for museum members).

Tickets can be purchased in advance by calling 803-898-4999 or visit scmuseum.org.

LEXINGTON COUNTY MUSEUM: Collection of antebellum buildings and artifacts. Tues.-Sat 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Sunday 1-4 p.m. Closed Mondays and holidays. 231 Fox Street at U.S. 378 (Columbia Ave.) Adults $5, children $2. Info: 3598369.

SC ARCHIVES & HISTORY CENTER: Open MonFri, 8:45 a.m. - 4:45 p.m., at 8301 Parklane Road, Columbia.

COLUMBIA MUSEUM OF ART: Corner Main and Hampton, Columbia. Tu. -

Fri. 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. 12 p.m.-5 p.m.

Closed Mondays. Adults $10, Students $5. Every Sunday is free. Info 7992810. Free admission to all active duty military personnel and their families.

EDVENTURE CHILDREN’S MUSEUM: 211 Gervais St., Columbia.

Open Tues. - Sat. 9 a.m.

-5 p.m. and Sunday noon-5 pm Adults $9.50 per person (discounts for military and seniors). The second Tuesday of each month is Family Night, 5-8pm with $1 per person admission. (803) 779-3100 or visit www. edventure.org.

S.C. STATE MUSEUM: 301 Gervais St., 8984921. Adults $7, seniors $6, children 3-12 $5, under 3 free, Military discount.

MEETINGS PINE RIDGE WOMEN’S CLUB: Meets 3rd Thursday each month September through May at Pine Ridge Town Hall. Info: Hazel Kanipe, 803-755-9995.

CAREGIVER RELIEF: Babcock Center is launching WOW! Seniors Program, made possible through a grant from the United Way of the Midlands, to provide caregiver relief opportunities on the weekends for those caring for people with intellectual disabilities, autism and related disabilities age 55 and older within their home. Program runs 8 a.m.–4 p.m. on Saturdays and Sundays at sites located in Richland and Lexington counties. Free to individuals who are not currently receiving supports through the Department of Disabilities and Special Needs. Information, call Marcus Smith, 799-1970.

MUSIC SONGBIRD CAFÉ: Rock concert to benefit SisterCare Oct. 2 at 100 E. Exchange Blvd., Columbia.

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KLECKLEY REUNION: Kleckley/Cleckley descendants, from far & wide, are encouraged to come renew friendships & build new ones. WHEN: Sunday, Oct. 5 at 1:00 p.m. WHERE: At the Kleckley Reunion Grounds off Corley Mill Rd. Lexington. (Look for sign) The very site where the first 3 Kleckley brothers settled in the mid-1700’s. WHAT TO BRING: Covered dishes to share.

(Folding chairs, optional.) Fun & game area is provided for children. QUESTIONS: Contact George Goodson, Pres. (803) 645-1133.

SELF IMPROVEMENT BUILD CONFIDENCE: Lexington County Toastmasters teaches effective speaking and leadership skills. Meets at Lexington Medical Park, 2728 Sunset Blvd., West Columbia, Thursdays, 7-8 a.m. http://lexingtoncounty. toastmastersclubs.org/directions.html

THEATER THE BUTLER DID IT!: GHS Main Street Players present “The Butler Did It!”October 2–3, 7 p.m., Gilbert High School Theater. $5 at the door. This is a murder mystery that will keep you on the edge of your seat. Is the butler really to blame?

GREASE: Lexington County Arts Association presents

VOLUNTEER THE LEXINGTON COUNTY VOTERS REGISTRATION AND ELECTIONS: is recruiting poll managers to help in the November General Election. Interested, please call the Lexington County Elections office at 785-8361.

TUTORS NEEDED: Teach adults to improve reading and writing skills or learn English as a new language. Training and all materials are provided. Call Director Chris Mathews Tuesday or Thursday at 782-1210.

ARTHRITIS FOUNDATION: Do you have arthritis or know someone who does? If so, you’re not alone. There are 1.2 million adults and 4,000 children in South Carolina who have been diagnosed with 1 of the 100 forms of arthritis. The Arthritis Foundation can help you take a proactive stance against the pain of arthritis by getting involved. Join the fun and help the Arthritis Foundation plan the Jingle Bell Run/Walk in the Midlands. Together we can cure arthritis! Please contact Gerald Talley at gtalley@arthritis.org or call 1.800.365.3811 ext. 4899 for more information.

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$25 per person or $40 per couple

Limited seating.

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REUNION

“Grease” directed by Becky Croft September 26 through October 12. Shows are Friday and Saturday nights at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 3p.m. Tickets are $19 for adults, $17 for students and seniors and may be purchased online at www.villagesquaretheatre.com. Village Square Theatre is Lexington just off Columbia Avenue (U.S. 378) at 105 Caughman Road, behind Firestone Auto Care. Info: Tonya Hammond at tshammond@ windstream.net or Becky Croft at croftbecky@yahoo.com, Village Square Theatre at www.villagesquaretheatre.com or by phone at: 803-359-1436.

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“I have been on the weight loss program for 7 days and have lost 8 lbs.

My clothes are feeling lose; I am sleeping so much better, I just feel great!! -Penny Z.

How to Survive & Thrive the Turbulent Years Includes continental breakfast, snacks, and seminar materials.

Doors open at 7 p.m., concert begins at 8 p.m.

Heavy hors d’oeuvres, beer, wine and live music with Emerson Hart of Tonic, Ken Block and Drew Copeland from Sister Hazel and Hobart Trotter. Tickets in advance only, $100. Purchase at www.songbirdcafe.eventbrite.com or call 803-926-0505. SisterCare provides shelter and services to battered women and their children.

“I lost 30 lbs in just 38 days! In my first week I lost 12 lbs. I went from a size 14 to a size 8. In the beginning I was very skeptical, but I am so excited I followed through with this. Thank you Dr. David” Shinique P.

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803.359.0793

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