THE FIGHT LGBT MAGAZINE JANUARY 2013 by MARK ARIEL

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THECONTENTS COVER STORIES AND FEATURES

15 HOME FREE LGBT Homeless Youth in LA

16 HEROES IN RECOVERY Heroes 6K Race In Palm Springs

18 THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY Supreme Court To Rule On Marriage 22 SEXUAL HEALING Raph Solo On “Conversion Therapy”

26 TILL DRINK DO US PART Double Winners, Couples & Addiction 30 TWO SPIRITS, ONE HEART Mother’s Fight For Her Son

34 THE MORE YOU KNOW Ann Rostow’s Annual News Quiz 36 NEW YEAR, OLD YOU Overcoming Bad Habits

THE DEPARTMENTS

THE EDITOR Dealing With Addiction

THE CITY Raise A Child In WeHo

THE EVENT Sold Out Clothing

THE CONTRIBUTORS Writers In This Issue

THE MEDIA Matt Damon, Josh Weston

THE CALENDAR Golden Globes Viewing Party

THE LETTERS Man In The Mirror

THE EPIDEMIC Possible Progress To Cure

THE RESOURCES Support Groups, Workshops

THE STATE Gov Appeals Injunction

THE FAMILY Becoming LGBT Parents

THE FINAL FIGHT Zinnia Jones On Mike Huckabee

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ON THE COVER PHOTO COURTESY OF PROJECT PUBLICITY

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THEEDITOR

n this issue’s cover story, Raph Solo talks to James Guay, LMFT, about his experiences undergoing so-called “conversion therapy” (“Sexual Healing,” page 22). The topic has been in the news as of late due to a court ordered hold on implementation of a California law that will ban so-called “ex-gay therapy” on minors, which was set to go into effect, January 1st, 2013. For James Guay, the interviewer, the subject hits close to home, as he himself was subjected as a teenager to this form of psychological abuse and, as a licensed psychotherapist, has been helping others heal from these experiences. “I had to go through a six-month program of constructive psychotherapy to get over my experience. That is how I regained my balance,” reveals Solo. “Ultimately, I have identified some of the pain caused in my childhood and I have made peace with it. I now realize that if it doesn’t work out with a potential partner, I can at least remain strong enough to hold my ground and try again… without feeling the need to run and re-orientate my sexuality as a result.” Dealing with addiction is an issue affecting many in our community, especially at the start of the new year. In a very personal and revealing article (“Till Drink Do Us Part,” page 26) Paulo Murillo writes about his 6-years of continuous sobriety, and his relationship with his boyfriend, who identifies as a “double winner”—meaning he attends Double Winner meetings, which is a program for friends, families and others affected by alcoholism known as AL-ANON Family Groups, who are also recovering alcoholics. “They say alcoholism is a family disease,” writes Murillo. “If alcoholism is in your gene pool, then you most likely qualify to be a double winner. People don’t just waltz into a 12-step program because they had a bad night. Chances are the whole family system is pretty messed up by the time an alcoholic makes that first step and admits powerlessness as a consequence of his drinking or drugging.” And finally, Thomas Mondragon, LMFT, explains how to overcome bad habits (New Year, Old You,” page 36). “The reality is,” writes Mondragon, “that from early childhood gay people suffered a daily erasure around their uniqueness and difference resulting in profound shame and invisibility. We should have been nurtured, encouraged, and celebrated around our budding queer sensibility, but due to intense heterosexism and homophobia in society, families, and religious institutions we ended up feeling empty, confused, lost.” “… Hopelessness, shame, self-hatred, and emptiness was something that was traumatically put into you and is about what happened to you versus about who you are,” Mondragon explains. “Retraining rigid negative belief systems is doable, but just like going to the gym on a regular basis is necessary for health and well being, so to is a practice of conscious concerted effort to change old stuck patterns.”

STANFORD ALTAMIRANO Editor-In-Chief

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Stanford Altamirano MANAGING EDITOR Mark Ariel ART DIRECTOR Nadeen Torio MARKETING CONSULTANTS Lisa Radamaker John Michael Gamban Stephen Marquez SOCIAL MEDIA Tim Kreslake WEBMASTER Nadeen Torio

GET THE FIGHT AT HOME Sent Via First Class Mail 12 Issues: $36 6 Issues: $24 Mail check or money order to: Third Step, LLC 611 S. Catalina St. Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 PUBLISHER Third Step, Inc. DISTRIBUTION Pride In Media The Fight Magazine is published monthly by Third Step, Inc. 611 South Catalina Street, Suite 307 Los Angeles, CA 90005 Telephone (323) 297-4001 Fax (213) 281-9648 Email info@TheFightMag.com

THE FIGHT MAGAZINE LEGAL CAVEATS By listing in The Fight Magazine, advertisers acknowledge that they do business in the spirit of cooperation, fairness and service, maintaining a high level of integrity and responsibility. Providers of products or services are fully and solely responsible for providing same as advertised. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for improper or negligent business practices by advertisers. Advertisers and their agencies assume responsibility and liability for the content of their advertisements in The Fight Magazine. Publisher assumes no liability for safe-keeping or return of unsolicited art, manuscripts or other materials. The Fight Magazine reserves the right to edit all material for clarity, length and content. All contents © 2013 Third Step Inc. All rights reserved. Content may be reproduced with permission. The Fight Magazine assumes no liability for any claims or representations contained anywhere in this magazine and reserves the right to cancel or refuse advertising at publisher’s discretion.

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THECONTRIBUTORS ZINNIA JONES

HENRY CAMPAGNA

Zinnia Jones is an atheist activist, writer, and video blogger focusing on the impact of religious belief, political follies, and LGBTQ rights. Since 2008 her videos have been viewed over 7 million times. You can reach her on Twitter @Zjemptv. Her YouTube channel is at www.zinniajones.com.

Henry Campagna recently received a M.A. in Clinical Psychology in the LGBT Specialization at Antioch University Los Angeles (AULA). He presently works as the Program Coordinator for both AULA’s LGBT Specialization and Colors.

PAULO MURILLO West Hollywood resident Paulo Murillo has been writing for gay media for over twelve years. He got his start writing a biweekly column called “Luv Ya, Mean It” for FAB! Newspaper. Visit his website at thehissfit.com, or friend him on Facebook.

Thomas Mondragon is a professor at Antioch University Los Angeles’ LGBT Specialization in Clinical Psychology, providing students the skills needed for LGBT affirmative psychotherapeutic practice. He can be reached at: (310) 779-3113 or via email: tjmondragon@mac.com

ANN ROSTOW Ann Rostow writes news analysis columns for THE FIGHT and other gay publications across the country. For weekly LGBT News updates, visit her blog at: annrostow.blogspot. com. Ann can be reached at: arostow@aol.com. THOMAS MONDRAGON, LMFT West Hollywood based psychotherapist

JAMES GUAY, LMFT James Guay is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mfc39252). He works primarily with individuals and couples interested in embracing their lives anew. For more details about James Guay’s background and specialties visit: www.jamestherapy.com or call 310-405-0840.

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THELETTERS ORDINARY PEOPLE Dear Editor, Just finished reading the interview with [NOH8 Campaign founders] Adam Bouska and Jeff Parshley (“Love Wins Out,” THE FIGHT, Issue 23). I highly recommend you print out a small pamphlet with that article and pass it out to as many LGBT people in California as possible. It shows how ordinary people can make a difference, and influence public opinion. Those guys are awesome! Michael Fine, via the internet

LET’S NOT FORGET Dear Editor, It’s nice that Ann Rostow is feeling all warm and fuzzy about [NJ Gov.] Chris Christie (“Rostow Report,” THE FIGHT, Issue 23) because of the fact that he praised the President’s response to hurricane Sandy, however let’s not forget that the same Chris Christie vetoed a bill last year that would have legalized same-sex marriage in New Jersey. J. Garcia, Hollywood

MAN IN THE MIRROR Dear Editor, Triangle Square is an important establishment in our community (“Golden Triangle,” THE FIGHT, Issue 23), however, as someone who has looked into the matter, it is sad that the waiting list is so long, as there are only a limited number of units available. To ensure a brighter future for the elder LGBT community we must act now, with fundraisers, benefits and partnerships to raise funds for our elders, because, before you turn around, the old man in the mirror will be you. Name Withheld, via the internet

LOVE OURSELVES Dear Editor, This is in response to David Landing’s letter “submit to Christ and be forgiven for your homosexual sins,” (“Letters,” THE FIGHT, Issue 23). Each generation and each culture is different. What may be a loving act in one culture may be cause for war in another. In spite of our differences, we are all given the same basic principle to carry out in our lives. That being that we are to love God first, and then we are to love others, as we love ourselves. If we embrace and follow this belief, we are following God’s will for our lives and we are not living in sin. Name Withheld, via the internet

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THESTATE

SUPREME COURT TO RULE ON PROP. 8

he Supreme Court announced last month that it would hear appeals of rulings striking down California's Proposition 8 and the federal law denying benefits for legally married same-sex couples. The court could decide in the Proposition 8 case whether the Constitution's promise of equal treatment gives gays and lesbians a right to marry. However, reports The Los Angeles Times, the justices also left themselves the option to rule narrowly or even to duck a decision. The justices are expected to hear arguments and issue decisions by late June this year. (For more information on this topic see "The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly," in this issue on page 18.)

ATTY. GEN. KAMALA HARRIS

GOV APPEALS INJUNCTION AGAINST GAY-CONVERSION LAW

ov. Jerry Brown appealed a court injunction that has blocked enforcement of a new law that prohibits

1 2 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2013

providing gay minors with therapy aimed at converting them to being heterosexual. The notice of appeal was filed on behalf of Brown and the Medaical Board of California by state Atty. Gen. Kamala Harris with the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, which decided Dec. 21 to block the law that was to have taken effect Jan. 1, pending a decision on its constitutionality. A small group of therapists and religious groups argued that the law infringes on their rights to free speech, but Harris, along with every major medical and psychological organization in the country, has called conversion therapy "unsound and harmful."

SAN DIEGO MAY LEASE LAND TO SCOUTS

RICHARD ADAMS (L), TONY SULLIVAN

Press. Adams and Sullivan were granted a marriage license in 1975 by a county clerk in Boulder, Colo., but for years fought in vain to see it recognized by governments and a population for whom the idea of two married men was still strange and foreign. "They felt that in the end, the most important thing was their love for each other, and in that respect they won," Soloway said. "No government or no law was ever able to keep them apart."

an Diego may lease public property to the Boy Scouts of America at a steeply discounted rate even though the group bans gays and atheists, a federal appeals court ruled last month. A threejudge panel of the U.S. 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, overturning a lower court decision, said San Diego was not engaging in discrimination by leasing valuable property to the youth organization in exchange for the group's commitment to improve and manage the land, reported The Los Angeles Times. The ruling stemmed from a lawsuit filed by two couples, one lesbian, the other agnostic, who said that the city was subsidizing a group with discriminatory policies.

GAY MARRIAGE PIONEER RICHARD ADAMS DIES AT 65

ichard Adams, who used both the altar and the courtroom to help begin the push for gay marriage four decades before it reached the center of the national consciousness, has died, his attorney said last month. After a brief illness, Adams died Dec. 17 at age 65 in the Hollywood home he shared with Tony Sullivan, his partner of 43 years, attorney Lavi Soloway told The Associated

HARVEY MILK

OC WILL MARK HARVEY MILK DAY

arvey Milk Day will now be officially recognized in Orange County. The decision, reports The Los Angeles Times, marks a reversal for Orange County supervisors, who twice previously refused to set aside a day to honor the birthday of the slain gay rights activist, who was a supervisor in San Francisco when he was gunned down in 1978. The state officially marked Harvey Milk Day in 2009, and this year San Diego named a street in his honor. Long Beach also broke ground on Harvey Milk Promenade Park earlier this year. n

JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 13

THECITY

JAMAR ROGERS

fostering and adoption, welcomed a crowd of over 100 prospective parents at the Hadid Gallery in West Hollywood last month. The recruitment event, featuring a performance by Alec Mapa (actor/comedian and foster/adoptive dad), was followed by a panel discussion with LGBT parents who have built their families through fostering and adoption. For more info on LGBT fostering and adoption visit RaiseAChild.US.

and Hundahl’s longtime friend and business partner. “I’m the eternal optimist, always seeing the glass half-full. Mark, on the other hand, was more like, ‘Where’s the glass? There’s water everywhere.’ He always saw that you could either ride its wave or possibly drown in it. We always had each other’s back, and we never let each other drown.” A public memorial for Hundahl will be held later in January.

NOH8 CAMPAIGN’S ANNIVERSARY PARTY

he NOH8 campaign held its fourth anniversary party last month at Avalon Hollywood, with over a thousand supporters, including many celebrities, showing up for the event, held free of charge. LeAnn Rimes (singer/songwriter), Skylar Grey (singer/songwriter), Australian DJ tyDi, Jamar Rogers (“The Voice’) and many other artists came out to support the cause and celebrate the anniversary. After the reception, Rimes, Grey, Rogers, DJ tyDi and others performed inside the venue. For more info on the NOH8 campaign visit www.noh8campaign.com.

ALEC MAPA

MARK HUNDAHL

BRIAN PUTNAM

RADIO HOSTS’ “MESSAGE OF HOPE”

he image of two gay radio hosts on the billboard near the corner of Beverly Boulevard and La Brea Avenue had been defaced not once but twice, reports The Los Angeles Times. After the second time, one of the hosts, Craig Olsen of “The Craig & Robbie Hour,” decided against a third reprinting of the billboard vinyl, which depicts him clowning with co-host Robbie Laughlin. Instead, he hired artist Jaime Ochoa to incorporate the defacement into an artwork he calls a “message of hope.”

LA PHOTOGRAPHER FRONTIERS CO-OWNER BRIAN PUTNAM DEAD AT 48 MARK HUNDAHL os Angeles photographer Brian Putnam HAS DIED

RAISE A CHILD IN WEHO

aiseAChild.US, a nonprofit whose mission is to encourage the LGBT community to build families through

1 4 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2013

ark Hundahl, 61, co-owner of the Los Angeles-based LGBT publication Frontiers, died of cancer early Thursday morning, Dec. 27, according to the magazine’s web site, www.frontiersla.com. “Those who knew us well and experienced how we worked together called us ‘the odd couple,’” said David Stern, Frontiers publisher

was found dead in West Hollywood last month, two days before Christmas. Putnam’s sister, Tracy, posted on his Facebook page that the death was an apparent suicide following a 15-year battle with alcoholism and depression, however the coroner’s office stated that an official cause of death has not yet been established. n

HOME FREE AN ESTIMATED 3,500 LGBT YOUTH EXPERIENCE HOMELESSNESS IN LOS ANGELES EACH YEAR. THE L.A. GAY AND LESBIAN CENTER’S TRANSITIONAL LIVING PROGRAM OFFERS A TEMPORARY SOLUTION. EXCERPTS FROM THE CENTER’S NEWSLETTER, VANGUARD. BY STEVIE ST. JOHN

ressed in crisp—even preppy— clothes, a clean-cut 19-year-old ambles down the sidewalk of Sunset Boulevard. If you spoke to Logan, who is polite and smart, you might guess he was on his way to a college class or his first job. You certainly wouldn’t guess that Logan is one of more than an estimated 3,500 LGBT youth who experience homelessness in L.A. each year. The reason you can’t tell: he found help at the Center. Now he has a place to eat, to shower, to get clean clothes, and even to sleep. Just as important, he has the support he needs to help turn his life around. This morning, Logan is headed from the site of the Center's 24-bed Transitional Living Program, where he’s found a temporary home, to the nearby Youth Center on Highland. It’s 8:30 a.m. and Logan joins about 30 other youth for breakfast at small round tables in the dining room of the bright and airy youth center. It’s a diverse group of young people; a majority are black or Latino. Most are in their late teens or early 20s, though some are younger. Today they’re eating biscuits and scrambled eggs. A few weeks ago, Logan still ate his meals in the Orange County house where he grew up—a house so conservative that brooms were verboten because of their connection with witches. Believing their son's sexuality was his “life struggle" from God, they told him to ”draw closer to Jesus" in order to cast out the demon they believed was making him gay. Logan, whose life largely revolved around his church, tried to be the person his fam-

Logan grew up in a house so conservative that brooms were verboten because of their connection with witches.

ily wanted him to be, but the pressure was stifling. His parents had rigid expectations; he wasn’t so much as to disagree with them about politics at the dinner table. He was also pressured into attending a religious college and to major in a subject of their choosing. After months of torment and two attempts to take his own life, Logan stood up to his parents. He told them it wasn’t possible to change his sexual orientation. His mother stopped speaking to him for more than a month. It was his father, though, who gave him the push that drove him out the door. He said Logan needed to undergo “ex-gay therapy,” which uses debunked techniques that purport to change LGBT people. At that point, Logan knew he couldn’t stay-home wasn’t (and hadn’t been) safe. He thought he’d have to travel all the way across the country to Washington, D.C., for help. But after finding and watching, through tearful eyes, an online video about the Center’s services for youth, Logan knew the support he needed was less than a twohour bus ride away. He packed a bag for L.A., leaving behind his beloved guitar but packing his laptop in case his parents want to contact him. (No word from them yet.) At the Center, he found a place where he is free to be himself... n If you’re a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or questioning young person without a place to call home, the L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center can help. Call 323-993-7471, or visit lagaycenter.org/youthservices. JANUAR Y 2013 | T H E F I GH T 15

HEROES IN RECOVERY

CREATING AN ENGAGED, SOBER COMMUNITY THAT EMPOWERS PEOPLE TO GET INVOLVED, GIVE BACK, AND LIVE HEALTHY, ACTIVE LIVES. THE UPCOMING HEROES 6K RACE TAKES PLACE IN PALM SPRINGS ON FEBRUARY 2, 2013. BY VICTOR MELAMED

“H

eroes in Recovery” is a movement ignited by Foundations Recovery Network and the widespread community of those who are in recovery from addiction and co-occurring disorders. The Foundations Recovery Network discovered that while 23 million people each year need help for addiction, only 3 million actually seek treatment. They’re looking for the other 20 million—those who may not be seeking help due to the overwhelming stigma that often surrounds substance abuse and mental health disorders. According to their web site (www.heroesinrecovery.com) Heroes in Recovery has a simple mission: to eliminate the social stigma that keeps addicted individuals from seeking help, to share stories of recovery for the purpose of encouragement and inspiration, and to create an engaged sober community that empowers people to get involved, give back, and live healthy, active lives. Their website

1 6 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2013

includes hundreds of inspiring stories of people from all walks of life, including the LGBT community, relating to recovery.

The mission is to eliminate the social stigma that keeps addicted individuals from seeking help. “We’re holding events across the country, seeking to inspire a sense of community wherever we can,” states their web site. One of their main events is the Heroes 6K race. Their inaugural 6K was held in 2011 on a race course in Leiper’s Fork, Tenn., during the month of September (National Recovery Month). It was sold out with 250 partici-

pants and around 100 volunteers. Since then, they have had a number of successful races across the country, and the amount of races—and participants—continues to grow. In California, the upcoming Heroes 6K race takes place in Palm Springs on February 2, 2013. The charity beneficiary for this race is the Soroptimist House of Hope located in Palm Springs. The focus of the Program is to provide women a safe, nurturing environment in which they can learn the life skills necessary to recover from their addiction and become productive members of society. The Program assists each client with continuing personal and vocational needs, in a clean and sober lifestyle, where they may ultimately reestablish their lives. n For more information on the Heroes 6K race in Palm Springs on February 2, 2013, please visit: www.heroesinrecovery.com.

, D O O G THE D A B E H T AND Y L G U E TH PROJECTING THE MOTIVES OF THE JUSTICES IS A FOOL’S GAME, BUT OF THIS, WE’RE CONFIDENT: THE COURT HAS NO INTEREST IN PREEMPTING DEBATE ON MARRIAGE EQUALITY AND FORCING SOME 40 STATES TO CHANGE THEIR STATUTES AND/OR THEIR CONSTITUTIONS.

1 8 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2013

BY ANN ROSTOW

hen I first heard that the Supreme Court had accepted the Prop 8 case I felt sick to my stomach. It was probably just as well that I was not operating under a deadline, because I would not have been able to temper my deep dismay. I mean, really. Can you think of a good reason for the Court to accept review of Prop 8? And by “good,” I mean “good for us.” Indeed, the only “good” reason would be if five members of the Court clearly wanted to rule that marriage equality is a constitutional right, legalizing marriage for all gay couples next summer. And how likely is that? Sorry, folks. It’s not likely. Projecting the motives of the justices is a fool’s game, but of this, we’re confident: The Court has no interest in preempting debate on marriage equality and forcing some 40 states to change their statutes and/or their constitutions. This is just a fact. (Keep in mind that if the Court wanted merely to keep the Prop 8 ruling limited to California, they could have denied review and allowed California marriage to be re-legalized.) But wait! Once the details of the Court’s announcement emerged, another plausible interpretation arose. In addition to reviewing the core question of whether a state has the right to define marriage at our expense, the justices raised the issue of whether the Prop 8 proponents have standing to appeal their case in federal court. Perhaps you recall that procedural question, which delayed the Ninth Circuit for over a year. Under federal law, the courts have jurisdiction over actual controversies, not over hypothetical questions. Further, the parties to a federal suit must have suffered (or imposed) actual harm. They can’t simply have a philosophical beef. In the Prop 8 case, the Ninth Circuit panel ran aground on this problem. The original lawsuit was filed against the State of California. As you may remember, the State refused to defend the proposition, leaving the job to the embattled Prop 8 campaigners. That was all well and good until the Prop 8 side lost their case in Judge Walker’s San Francisco courtroom. It was one thing for the Prop 8 proponents to defend in trial court. But did they have standing under federal law to appeal their loss to the higher courts? What “harm” would befall them if marriage was re-legalized in the Golden State? Hurt feelings don’t count.

Oddly, because this never really made sense to me at the time, the Ninth Circuit then asked the California Supreme Court to weigh in on the question of standing under state law. The California justices raised a key issue. It’s not fair to voters if a partisan state government can overturn a plebiscite victory it dislikes simply by refusing to defend it in a court case. Ergo, the measure’s proponents should have standing to pursue a defense. For whatever reason, the Ninth Circuit panel accepted this reasoning and went forward with the Prop 8 appeal.

You can fight for gay rights without dragging along pedophiles, necrophiles or other freaky friends. I can support equality and still believe that someone convicted of bestiality might be legitimately fired or denied a public teaching job. We can and do make moral judgments in society and some of them can be enforced by law. No nudity in the middle of Main Street at noon. Fine by me. Even on Castro Street. But why? Prop 8 was a federal case and California’s top court cannot articulate federal law. Meanwhile, the Supreme Court had been vague on this question. At the time, LGBT news bloggers had been busy poring over tedious articles on federal standing under Article III. But when the Ninth Circuit restarted the case, we happily abandoned that task. Who cares about federal procedure! If the Ninth Circuit doesn’t give a damn, why should we? When I say the High Court had been “vague,” it’s because the justices had never directly addressed the issue of standing in this context. However, they came close. In a case involving an Arizona English language-

only ballot measure, the state had refused to defend the challenged proposition and the measure’s proponents had been allowed to take up the defense. Sound familiar? Although the case was dealt with on other grounds (journalist lingo for “I forget what actually happened”), Justice Ginsburg mentioned in a footnote that she had “grave doubts” about whether the ballot measure proponents had standing under Article III to bring an appeal. So, in an era of proliferating ballot measures, is it not possible that the High Court intends to issue a definitive ruling on standing in this type of situation? I came to this conclusion even before famed SCOTUS analyst Linda Greenhouse wrote a great article on the several questions of standing now pending in our gay cases.

LEGAL GAY BASHING In her article, which you really must look up, Greenhouse also highlighted the equally interesting standing issues surrounding the Windsor case. First, does the government have standing to appeal the Windsor ruling, given that the Justice Department argued against the Defense of Marriage Act and so technically they won the case? In fact, this seems like an easy call. Although the Obama administration “won,” in the sense that the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit struck the Defense of Marriage Act, the government is still in a bind. Unless, or until, DOMA is struck down for good, the government is bound to uphold the law. In the Windsor case, for example, the IRS is still banking over $300,000 of Edie Windsor’s tax payments on her wife’s estate, even though a straight spouse would have been exempt. Surely the government has standing to call for a definitive ruling on this law. More interestingly, the High Court will examine whether or not the House “bipartisan” legal advisory group (BLAG) is qualified to defend DOMA under Article III. Keep in mind that BLAG is nothing more than a five-member ad hoc committee, composed of three Republicans and two Democrats. Bipartisan in name only, this obnoxious little group was quickly established after the Obama administration decided that DOMA did not pass muster under heightened legal scrutiny. Ever since that policy shift in February, 2011, the BLAG has run around allocating money for a legal gay bashing that has JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 19

never come up for a House vote. Don’t get me wrong, the House Republican majority would probably vote to fund the DOMA defense if forced to do so in a floor vote. But it would be another blot on the GOP brand, to borrow the recent meme. The High Court has also appointed an independent advocate to brief the questions of standing in the Windsor case. I’m guessing the administration will be given the thumbs up, but who knows what will happen to BLAG? If the High Court strikes DOMA, as we all hope and pray it will, BLAG’s authority will be moot. That said, there may be other federal gay cases without an antigay champion in the future. If BLAG is compromised, it will be interesting to see who or what fills their ugly shoes.

MORALITY PLAYS

Now, let me come to the defense of Justice Scalia, who has been roundly condemned for asking an audience of Princeton students why we can’t have laws against homosexuality given that we have laws against murder. Goodness gracious! You should have heard the hysterics coming from our side, who quickly accused the conservative lawman of comparing gays to murderers. Please, guys. Scalia was making a simple legal point, and it’s arguably at the core of our political and legal fight for civil rights. To wit: is there a legitimate moral argument against homosexual behavior, and by extension, to gay civil rights? I know, I know. Of course we know the answer's no. But that doesn’t mean that the question is settled. I’m old enough to remember the early days of the gay rights movement, back in the late 70s, early 80s. It was only a decade after Stonewall, and AIDS had yet to devastate our brothers in arms. Gay rights back then was conflated with a general right to be free of moral disapproval. It was strange. We seemed unable to simply say that there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Instead, we had to fight any and all limits to personal sexual freedom. Well, not all of us. I remember parading in New York City, when all the women, or at least most of us, split from the main group to protest NAMBLA. Remember them? They were pedophiles, for God’s sake! Yet they had their own pride parade group! You can fight for gay rights without dragging along pedophiles, necrophiles or other freaky friends. I can support equality and still believe that someone convicted of bes2 0 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2013

tiality might be legitimately fired or denied a public teaching job. We can and do make moral judgments in society and some of them can be enforced by law. No nudity in the middle of Main Street at noon. Fine by me. Even on Castro Street. There are those, Scalia among them, who put homosexuality on a list that includes all sorts of bothersome proclivities. They cannot separate the sexual orientation from the act. Some believe any gay act is immoral, even marital sex. Others equate gayness with a host of negative behaviors from promiscuity to child abuse.

Justice Scalia was making a simple legal point, and it’s arguably at the core of our political and legal fight for civil rights. To wit: is there a legitimate moral argument against homosexual behavior, and by extension, to gay civil rights? I know, I know. Of course we know the answer’s no. But that doesn’t mean that the question is settled. We may never convince those in the first category that gay equality is a civil right. But the others are beginning to realize that sexual orientation is neutral. Straight people can be pedophiles and gay people can have decades-long monogamous relationships. Sexual orientation is irrelevant. It is not a behavior. It is a status. Justice Scalia is barking up the wrong tree, not by comparing us to murderers (which he didn’t actually do) but by persisting in the notion that homosexuality is a moral issue. Not to mention that we criminalize murderers and thieves, not because they’re “immoral,” but because they are a direct threat to life and property. Indeed, the reason that the High Court has ruled that morality alone may not justify a discriminatory law is because our moral laws are invariably based on legitimate public interests that go beyond simple judgments of good or bad.

SCRUTINIZE THIS Finally, would you like to know my greatest fear? It’s this: I’m afraid the Court will issue a wishy-washy opinion on the most important legal issue that they face. This, of course, is the question of whether sexual orientation discrimination should be evaluated under heightened legal scrutiny, like race, religion or gender. It’s possible that the Court could duck, ruling for example that since DOMA fails the easiest type of legal analysis there is no need to tackle the thornier question of which type of analysis should generally apply. This was how they handled equal protection in Romer v Evans, for example. But it’s also likely that the justices won’t be able to escape so easily. The Second Circuit decision in Windsor argues for heightened scrutiny. So does the Obama administration. So does the trial court in Prop 8. The arguments in favor of heightened scrutiny are powerful. The criteria, to be brief, is that high scrutiny should be leveled at a law that targets a distinct class of people who have suffered discrimination for a characteristic that has no bearing on their ability to contribute to society. Although courts also take into account whether the class lacks political power or whether the characteristic is immutable, these factors are not binding on the definition. Religion, after all, is not immutable. And one can argue that women and other minorities do not lack a certain level of political power. But if it seems obvious, there’s a reason that the High Court might hesitate to weigh in. A clear call for heightened scrutiny from the justices would profoundly shift the legal balance of power in favor of gay and lesbian plaintiffs in every future discrimination lawsuit. As a matter of fact, it would be just as powerful as legalizing marriage equality for the nation. Let’s imagine that the Court strikes DOMA using heightened scrutiny, but rules that the Prop 8 proponents lack standing to appeal. That would leave us in limbo until another marriage rights case reaches the High Court, perhaps the two federal cases now heading to the Ninth Circuit from Hawaii and Nevada (which are being consolidated). Once those cases reached the Supreme Court, the table would be set for a national victory, a Brown v Board showdown for marriage equality. Did I mention that predicting the Supreme Court is a fool’s game? n

JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 21

SEXUAL HEALING MODEL, SINGER, SONGWRITER RAPH SOLO ON “CONVERSION THERAPY,” HIS ATTEMPTS TO “GO STRAIGHT,” AND LEARNING TO LIVE HIS AUTHENTIC LIFE. BY JAMES GUAY, LMFT

federal appeals court last month ordered a hold on implementation of a California law that will ban so-called “ex-gay therapy” on minors which was set to go into effect, January 1st, 2013. The law, signed by Gov. Jerry Brown in September, was the first of its kind in the nation to prohibit licensed therapists from using the scientifically discredited practice that aims to change a person’s sexual orientation from gay to straight. Other states including New Jersey and Pennsylvania are now proposing similar legislation. The three-judge panel from the Ninth Circuit Court Of Appeals ordered an injunction last month, stopping the law from taking effect until the case can be heard in future court hearings. The judge also granted a motion by EQCA to intervene in the lawsuit in order to defend the law alongside California Attorney General Kamala Harris, who represents the State of California defendants. Equality California is represented in the case by National Center for Lesbian Rights and the law firm of Munger Tolles & Olson LLP. 2 2 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2013

Liberty Counsel, a right-wing organization and party to the suit challenging the law, was overjoyed with the injunction. “This law is an astounding overreach by the government into the realm of counseling and would have caused irreparable harm,” said Liberty Counsel Chairman Mat Staver. “Ex-gay therapy,” has been condemned by every major medical and psychological organization in the country as harmful and dangerous. The state has an invested interest in protecting children from psychologically abusive practices from state licensed practitioners. They have a long-standing history of enacting consumer protections. “There has been no scientifically adequate research that therapy aimed at changing sexual orientation (sometimes called reparative or conversion therapy) is safe or effective,” said the American Psychological Association. In his recently published book, “The Memoirs of Angel King,” UK-based model, singer and songwriter Raph Solo chronicles his experiences with so-called “conversion therapy.” In an interview with THE FIGHT Solo talks about his attempts to “go straight,” dealing with guilt and learning to live his authentic life. WHERE ARE YOU FROM? WHERE DID YOU GROW UP? By descent I am three quarters Lebanese and one quarter Chilean, I was born and brought up in Nigeria, West Africa, and I was sent to a private boarding school at the age of 11 in Wilshire, England, where I have been living since. I moved to London following high school and I studied Marketing in College. My childhood was pretty privileged. I was born an only child to my parents who waited 12 years for me to be conceived. WHAT WAS THE COMING OUT PROCESS LIKE FOR YOU? I was a teenager, and I tried to have sex with a girl on holiday, and it didn’t quite happen the way I hoped it would. I had a crush on my roommate from high school and he was on my mind during the act and so it became self-evident that the object of my affection was a member of the same sex. I cried at first. I didn’t want to be gay and different from the other boys. But, I wiped my tears and I accepted it. I had a couple of experiences with girls following that and they didn’t work out either so I embraced my sexuality in my late teens... before changing my mind again in my mid-twenties, and undergoing “conversion therapy.”

WHAT WENT IN TO YOUR DECISION TO “COME OUT” ABOUT YOUR CONVERSION “PSEUDO-THERAPY” EXPERIENCE? I started journaling about my “pseudotherapy” experience while I was undergoing the process. I thought if this works then it’s worth sharing it. The therapy concedes that when you delve into your past and identify moments that “broke your masculinity,” you can “repair” it, “repair” what made you gay... It was a few months into my therapy when I ran into a guy I had been intimate with and I experienced a strong attraction towards him. It was a natural feeling. It didn’t feel this organic an attraction towards a girl. At that point I felt that it wasn’t going to work for me. FOR THOSE WHO ARE UNFAMILIAR WITH WHAT CONVERSION, REPARATIVE OR EX-GAY THERAPY IS AND WHY IT’S SO DAMAGING, CAN YOU PLEASE DESCRIBE WHAT YOUR EXPERIENCE WAS? My personal experience particularly was psychologically annihilating. I come from a strong religious background, which made the experience more intense, and not in a good way. A part of me felt like I had to kill this gay person inside of me. The danger in that thought process is, when a good set of morals and a life-long record of good deeds are identified with this person who has a preference for the same sex then, it leads you to question the merit of those good deeds too. In short, you freak out! I thought “if everything in my life was a lie up to this point, then what is real and who am I?” HAVING BEEN SUBJECTED AS A TEENAGER TO THIS FORM OF PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE MYSELF AND HELPING OTHERS HEAL FROM THESE EXPERIENCES AS A LICENSED PSYCHOTHERAPIST, I’VE OFTEN SEEN HOW THIS HAS BEEN PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMATIZING TO PEOPLE, SOMETIMES NEEDING DE-PROGRAMMING FROM A CULT-LIKE EXPERIENCE. CAN YOU DESCRIBE YOUR PROCESS OF LEAVING THIS PSYCHOLOGICAL QUACKERY? I had to go through a six-month program of constructive psychotherapy to get over my experience. That is how I regained my balance. Ultimately, I have identified some of the pain caused in my childhood and I have made peace with it. I now realize that if it doesn’t work out with a potential partner, I can at least remain strong enough to hold my ground and try again... without feeling the need to run and re-orientate my sexuality as a result. These issues are interlinked in my belief.

We have to believe it is okay to be gay. It does not serve us well to feel guilt and/or shame about who are. WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR OTHERS TRYING TO LEAVE AND HEAL FROM THIS? I actually left twice - I re-attempted the conversion a few years later due to the consecutive failures of my gay relationships. I thought maybe they were right? Maybe that is why I was experiencing difficulties maintaining my gay relationships. Are we meant to be straight? I bring this up because it’s an essential issue for gay people which is often side stepped. We are essentially human beings and we have a natural affinity to want to connect and solidify that connection with a partner at some point in life. If we are told that the essence of who we are is not acceptable, then how can we ever be in a position to give those unions our best shot? And, when those relationships do break down, as some do whether they be straight or gay relationships, how can we deal with them without questioning our identity. A lot of us end up down dark paths of self-destruction trying to find solace after a relationship has failed... Recovering is a work in progress and it is not an overnight process. Finding a constructive psychotherapist is a good start... Ultimately, I realized it doesn’t matter if you are straight or gay. It’s what you do in the context of being a humanitarian that counts. Hitler was straight and Elton John is gay. The former massacred people and the latter is saving young women and children’s lives in Africa by giving them medication for HIV/ AIDS ... which one would you rather be? HOW CAN LGBTQ PEOPLE SUPPORT OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED EX-GAY PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE? By sharing our experiences. We are making a difference. We have fought and we are helping those people to fight for their right to love with respect. By telling our people to remember, God loves you the way you are. n “The Memoirs of Angel King” by Raph Solo is available for download at www.lulu.com. Solo’s singles “Finally” and “Brand New Dime” are available on iTunes. James Guay is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mfc39252) who provides psychotherapy to individuals, couples and groups at his West Hollywood office. www. LivingMoreFully.com, www.Facebook.com/ JamesTherapy, 310-405-0840. JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 23

THEMEDIA MATT DAMON ON GAY RUMORS

CHAMPION, ROBIERB WED

Actor Matt Damon spoke to Playboy last month about his gay role in the upcoming HBO biopic on Liberace, reports The Advocate. In “Behind the Candelabra,” Damon plays Scott Thorson, the longtime partner of Liberace, the flamboyant pianist who remained in the closet his entire life. “These two men were deeply in love and in a real relationship—a marriage— long before there was gay marriage. That’s not an insignificant thing. The script is beautiful and relatable,” said Damon. Regarding gay rumors between him and actor Ben Affleck, Damon told Playboy: “I never denied those rumors because I was offended and didn’t want to offend my friends who were gay—as if being gay were some kind of fucking disease.”

Surrounded by fellow “Good Morning America” anchors, friends, and family, ABC weatherman Sam Champion was married in New York last month. Champion came out in October in a New York Times story about another television anchor’s marriage—Thomas Roberts of MSNBC and Patrick Abner. Champion had attended their wedding and then mentioned his own engagement to Rubem Robierb, a Brazilianborn artist. Champion was married in a small ceremony at Champion’s apartment that was officiated by N.Y. State Supreme Court Justice George J. Silver, according to ABC News.

AMAZING RACE WINNERS SUPPORT PRE-TEEN Josh Kilmer-Purcell and Brent Ridge (a.k.a. The Beekman Boys) were the first to cross the finish line on last month’s “Amazing Race” finale. Often referring to themselves as the underdogs, the gay couple, who have been together for 14 years, beat the odds and throughout the race maintained their integrity, reported AfterElton.com. While the couple was inundated with notes of congratulations, one stood out most—the mother of a bullied, gay, middle schooler named Colin, who wrote, “... I want you to know how inspirational you two are to my 12-year-old son. He is gay and is dealing with bullying and harassment in middle school. It’s so hard to see him going through this, and sometimes the ‘It Gets Better’ message is lost on a 12-year-old who feels that middle school will never end... My son was so incredibly thrilled when you two won last night (as was I!). Thank you for helping him see that not only does it get better, it gets amazing.” The Beekman Boys talked the entire Amazing Race cast into submitting images of support for Colin and they dedicated a page on their website showing their love and support for the pre-teen. Check it out at: http://beekman1802.com/colin-youre-amazing/

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HARVEY MILK DOC HONORED

JOSH WESTON DEAD AT 39 Josh Weston, the gay porn legend who was featured in numerous films from Falcon Studios, Hot House, Colt, and C1R, has passed away, reports gay.net. A rep from Hot House confirmed that the 39-year-old performer died from HIV-related complications. Weston got his start as a dancer in San Francisco at the Nob Hill Theatre where he was discovered by Chi Chi LaRue. From there, Weston became one of Falcon Studio’s most iconic stars after signing with them in 2001.

“The Times of Harvey Milk,” the Oscar-winning 1984 documentary about the martyred gay politician, is among the 25 films designated for preservation by the National Film Registry of the Library of Congress, reports The Advocate. Rob Epstein’s film won the Academy Award as Best Documentary. “These films are not selected as the best American films of all time, but rather as works of enduring importance to American culture,” Librarian of Congress James M. Billington said in a statement. “They reflect who we are as a people and as a nation.”

Psychotherapy & Consultation • Create more fulfilling relationships • Feel confident about who you are • Enhance your sense of aliveness • Learn how to be more effective • Reduce your stress JAMES GUAY, LMFT Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (#mfc39252) Beverly Hills

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JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 25

TILL DRINK DO US PART

FROM THE VERY BEGINNING OF OUR RELATIONSHIP, MY PARTNER SPELLED IT OUT TO ME OPENLY AND CLEARLY: IF I GET LOADED—MEANING IF I GET DRUNK AND/OR HIGH, I DO SO WITH THE UNDERSTANDING THAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS PRETTY MUCH OVER. BY PAULO MURILLO

y the time this issue of THE FIGHT hits the streets, I will have celebrated 6-years of continuous sobriety. I have also been in a relationship that recently reached a 2-year milestone to a man who has been clean and sober for almost 14 years, which is what we sobers like to call a gift of recovery, if not a freakin’ miracle.

2 6 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2013

From the very beginning of our relationship, my partner spelled it out to me openly and clearly: if I get loaded—meaning if I get drunk and/or high, I do so with the understanding that our relationship is pretty much over. He says that if I ever decide to pick up—be it a drink or a glass pipe, I’m pretty much choosing to

break up with him. He’s been in the rooms of recovery long enough to know that he’s not interested in being in a relationship with a newcomer, or someone who’s newly clean and sober. He considers a relapse worse than cheating with another man, because not only do you get the newcomer drama, but more likely than not, a relapse is usually attached to some form of extramarital creeping—especially if crystal meth is in the mix. “You would throw me away in my hour of need?” I protested incredulously. “No. You would be throwing us away.” He responded. “I would detach with love. Your hour of need should be at an hourlong meeting Boo. If your boat’s going down, I can’t do anything to stop it and I’m not going down with you. I would hand you a welcome chip and tell you to keep coming back.” Of course, all I heard was, he doesn’t love me, but I have enough sober time to totally get it. When they say you shouldn’t date a newcomer, they usually don’t say it for the benefit of the newcomer. I’ve seen it happen to the most solid couples in recovery. One guy has more time than the other. Everything is fine until the weaker link starts acting like a tweaker. He starts disappearing and his stories stop making any sense. Before too long he confesses that he relapsed, which is usually minimized to a glass of wine. Of course, one drink turns into a bump of crystal meth and the tiny bump of crystal meth turns into an eight-ball, which is like... a lot of meth. One drug binge usually means the guy has been tweaking for many months. Then you have a tweaker being fished out of a bathhouse and the relationship is over, or at least it should be. One guy ends up in rehab if he knows what’s good for him and the other guy doubles down on twelve-step meetings for friends, families and others affected from drug and alcohol abuse. It’s a messy story. I don’t want that to be part of my story. My boyfriend identifies as a double winner (I write this with his full consent) - meaning he attends Double Winner meetings, which is a program for friends, families and others affected by alcoholism known as AL-ANON Family Groups, who are also recovering alcoholics. Double Winners are not sanctioned or recognized by AA or Al-Anon, but groups are sprouting all over the country. They say alcoholism is a family disease. If alcoholism is in your gene pool, then

you most likely qualify to be a double winner. People don’t just waltz into a 12-step program because they had a bad night. Chances are the whole family system is pretty messed up by the time an alcoholic makes that first step and admits powerlessness as a consequence of his drinking or drugging. Behind every alcoholic’s story there’s a person who hid the vodka bottles, made excuses to the boss because the significant other missed work due to excessive drinking and there’s a person who waited up all night for that alcoholic (also known as a qualifier in AlAnon) to get home. Alcoholics get bailed out of jail when he or she should sit tight and be allowed to crash and burn on the rocks at the bottom.

Behind every alcoholic’s story there’s a person who e hid the vodka bottles, mad e excuses to the boss becaus the significant other missed kwork due to excessive drin ing and there’s a person who waited up all night for that alcoholic (also known as a qualifier in Al-Anon) t to get home. Alcoholics ge bailed out of jail when he or she should sit tight and be allowed to crash and burn . on the rocks at the bottom A person who is always out to save the day usually ends up at an Al-Anon meeting where people learn to set healthy boundaries and take care of themselves and not take responsibility for an alcoholic’s behavior, their disease, or their recovery. Members of Al-Anon strive for their own personal growth by using the same principles of a 12-step program. When you get sober, you turn to other alcoholics for help and then in return you help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. You

make friendships with recovering alcoholic/ addicts. Your best friend is sober. Your boyfriend is sober. You also watch your friends relapse and you start to recognize untreated alcoholism in your family, your boss and in your coworkers. You soon realize that crazy alcoholics are all around you. Before sobriety, I didn’t have much time for boyfriends. I was busy going places. Boyfriends got in the way. Then I cashed in my chips for sobriety, and I was confronted with feelings of loneliness and a hunger for affection that I never knew was in me. I told myself these were side effects of sobriety, but that loneliness was always there. I was too busy running amuck to pay these feelings any mind. I told myself I didn’t want to date anyone in recovery, yet dating a double winner with almost 14 years of recovery time has its advantages. He tries to stick to the dos and don’t of Al-Anon. The dos are: Do forgive, do be humble, do take it easy (tension is harmful), do play (find recreation and hobbies), do keep on trying whenever you fail, do learn the facts about alcoholism, do attend Al-Anon meetings often and do pray. I tend to like the Al-Anon Don’ts the most, which are: Don’t be self-righteous, don’t try to dominate, nag, scold and complain, don’t lose your temper, don’t try to push anyone but yourself, don’t keep bringing up the past, don’t keep checking up on the alcoholic, don’t wallow in self-pity, don’t make threats you don’t intend to carry out, don’t be over-protective and don’t be a doormat. The dos and don’ts can work wonders for just about anyone. “In Al-Anon, we have our own recovery slogans.” My partner tells me. “We can’t cause. We can’t cure. And we can’t control. Not wanting to be in a relationship with a newcomer is my own personal choice.” He adds. “Sometimes the hardest, most loving thing a person in Al-Anon can do is let an alcoholic face the consequences of his choices.” He says he would leave me if I got loaded. I think he’s bluffing. But I’m not willing to go down that slippery slope to put him to the test. I love the life I live. I love being clean and sober and I’m kinda/sorta in love with this man. n For more information about Alcoholics Anonymous, visit aa.org. For more on AlAnon Family Groups in the Los Angeles area, visit al-anonla.org. DECEMB ER JANUAR Y 2012 2013 || TH TH E E F F II GH GH TT 27 27

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HIV VACCINE ATTEMPT, POSSIBLE CURE NEW STUDY OPENS THE DOOR TOWARD A FUNCTIONAL CURE, OR THE USE OF THE THERAPEUTIC VACCINE THAT COULD THEN LEAD TO A CURE.

panish researchers may have discovered a major breakthrough in the path toward developing a therapeutic HIV vaccine, and possibly a cure, reports hivplusmag.com. A therapeutic vaccine is the type of shot that treats an existing disease rather than prevent it. Felipe Garcia, one of the scientists on the team at Barcelona University's Hospital Clinic, told the Agence France-Presse that the method involves giving "instructions to the immune system so it could learn to destroy the virus, which it does not do naturally."

According to the study, the viral load of half of the HIV-positive participants dropped 90% after using the therapy for 12 weeks. According to the study, the viral load of half of the HIV-positive participants dropped 90% after using the therapy for 12 weeks. However, effectiveness declined after 24 weeks, and within a year, the vaccine lost effectiveness, causing participants to return to their regular antiretroviral therapy. Though the effects were short-term, the researchers said this study opens the door toward a functional cure, or the use of the therapeutic vaccine that could then lead to a cure. "This investigation opens the path to additional studies with the final goal of achieving a functional cure -- the control of HIV replication for long periods or an entire life without anti-retroviral treatment," the researchers said in a statement. "Although we still have not got a functional cure, the results published... open the possibility of achieving an optimal therapeutic vaccine, or a combination of strategies that includes a therapeutic vaccine, and could help to reach that goal." The next step after this seven-year process, reports hivplusmag. com, would be to improve their vaccine, and then attempt combining it with other therapeutic vaccines over the next three or four years. n

JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 29

t r H a e e O n , s p it ir S Two

IN HER NEWLY PUBLISHED BOOK, LOS ANGELES BASED AUTHOR MARSHA AIZUMI SHARES HER STORY ABOUT THE JOURNEY TO LOVE AND ACCEPTANCE OF HER TRANSGENDER SON, AIDEN. BY HENRY CAMPAGNA “In a blizzard, cows are frozen in fear. They move away from the blizzard, until they are pushed against a fence and eventually die. Fear has caused these cows to retreat, until they can no longer move back further and the blizzard covers them with snow, in which they freeze 3 0 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2013

to death. A Buffalo sees a blizzard and does not retreat. The Buffalo moves into the unknown, persevering through the storm. As a result, the Buffalo either moves through the blizzard or continues to push through adversity and survives.” —Marsha Aizumi

mbodying the spirit of the Buffalo, Los Angeles based author Marsha Aizumi uses her courageous heart and voice to push through the storm of adversity and fight for LGBT people, and especially for her transgender son, Aiden. Aizumi, an educator, committed wife and loving mother, shares her story about the journey to love and acceptance of her son, Aiden, in her newly published book “Two Spirits, One Heart.” Following her passion for education, youth, and the LGBT community, Aizumi has also developed leadership and career development programs for “Options for Youth,” and most recently, collaborated on a high school diploma program partnership between the LA Gay & Lesbian Center's LifeWorks Program and Opportunities for Learning Pubic Charter School. Additionally, Aizumi serves on the National Board of Directors for Parents, Family and Friends for Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), an organization she holds dear to her heart for supporting and helping her family at the beginning of their journey when Aiden first came out. In an interview with THE FIGHT, Aizumi opens her heart and reveals her truth, as she discusses her fears as well as her favorite words: dreams, hope, and love. “Family is everything,” states Aizumi. “Family is the place where you learn about life, who you are, who you want to be, a place where you belong. That’s why it’s always so sad for me when I hear about homeless LGBT kids. Society can condemn you, but as long as you have a supportive family, there is at least one place where you can feel safe. I think that’s one of the reasons why Aiden and I were so committed on this journey, as difficult as it was, because we are committed to family.” Like many transgender children and adolescents, Aiden struggled with who he was, says Aizumi. Today, she is devoted to telling her son Aiden that “he is worthy of love, he has a place where he belongs, and he can make a contribution during his lifetime.” “As I began to write the book,” reveals Aizumi, “I dreamed of creating a safer world for both of my sons. I want to create a safer and more accepting world not only for my sons, but also for the entire LGBT community. But my passion is the LGBT community because of Aiden.” Aizumi, who is Japanese-American, was not always this passionate about the LGBT community. In fact, reveals Aizumi, she had little awareness about the issues affecting

LGBT people prior to her son coming out. She was born in Ohio and raised in Temple City, California, a predominately Caucasian, conservative suburb of Los Angeles. Aizumi describes her upbringing as “mixed,” because while her parents taught her to “care for others” there was a “belief in my parent’s generation to stay within your culture ... to have the best chance of having a successful marriage from the Japanese American community.” Aizumi married her husband Tad and adopted a baby from Japan, who they named

Initially, says Aizumi, she started writing because there weren’t many visible AsianAmerican/Pacific Islander faces and voices. “I was so alone when I came out. You feel that you’re the only one with an LGBT kid,” reveals Aizumi. “A lot of Asian families go into the closet because they are so ashamed.” Ashley. A few years later, they adopted their second child, Stefen. As a child, Ashley began displaying gender variant behaviors. She first came out as a lesbian in high school and then as transgender in 2009. Through discussions with her son, support from PFLAG, and encouragement of colleagues and friends, Aizumi began writing “Two Spirits, One Heart,” which chronicles her difficult but loving journey to acceptance. “When you share your story and you’re vulnerable, you make close connections. It’s been a way for me to heal. A way for me to bring hope for my family and for me, but also for others,” Aizumi explains. Initially, says Aizumi, she started writing because there weren’t many visible AsianAmerican/Pacific Islander faces and voices. “I was so alone when I came out. You feel that you’re the only one with an LGBT kid,” reveals Aizumi. “A lot of Asian families go into the closet because they are so ashamed.” Shame, saving face and honor are common for Asian families, says Aizumi. “You’re

not only carrying your current family’s honor, but your ancestors’ as well. It can be a big burden for many families.” But as Aizumi began to write more about her story, she realized she was talking about a mother’s love, which is “universal and can resonate with everyone.” Aizumi chose the title of her book, “Two Spirits, One Heart” for a number of reasons. “Two Spirits is a Native American term, and it talks about individuals that have two sides. I want to be able to balance male and female. I’ve always embraced that kind of concept. But as I wrote the book, I also thought it defined my spirit and Aiden’s. We are two different individuals. It’s a mother and a child... I think Aiden has two spirits. I have two spirits as well—we all do. But do we acknowledge and embrace it, or do we just not recognize it? Like boys that are considered effeminate—that’s part of their spirit. I want to teach my children to have that compassion and empathy which many times many macho guys don’t want to show. It’s two spirits coming together.” Aizumi also describes her love of the word heart. “You need to follow your heart because your heart tells you the truth, even though sometimes we're afraid to listen to it.” For Aizumi, “One Heart” symbolized love. “Even though Aiden and I were two separate spirits, we are connected, bonded, and committed to loving each other, our family, and even the people who may not even love us.” Marsha Aizumi loves with her whole heart and continues to explore who she is. And she attributes a lot of this to Aiden. “Each of us has a reason we’re here, and each of us has a gift we can give to the world. In order for you to give that gift, you have to be your true self. My son, in all the things that he's done to be courageous, speak his truth, share his story and find who he is, has been a gift to others but also to me as his mother. This journey began because Aiden asked himself who am I? He answered, this is who I am and this is who I’m going to tell the world I am. I have grown so much because of this journey, and I have been very blessed because of the choices he's made and the choices I've made. For me, I never thought I would ever have the voice I have today." n

“Two Spirits, One Heart,” is available at www.amazon.com. For more information, please visit www.marshaaizumi.com. JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 31

THEFAMILY

CSP Director Karen Synesiou: “We are proud to have been the first surrogacy agency to help a gay couple and we look forward to helping many more gay people create families in the future.”

BECOMING GAY PARENTS FOR MALE GAY PARTNERS WHO DESIRE THE OPPORTUNITY TO PARENT TOGETHER THERE ARE TWO CHOICES: ADOPTION AND SURROGATE PARENTING.

BY MARK ARIEL

or male gay partners who desire the opportunity to parent together there are two choices: adoption and surrogate parenting. Adoption offers a couple the opportunity to give a baby who already exists, a loving home that the child may not have otherwise enjoyed. Surrogacy offers a couple the option to be biologically related to the child, to cause this particular genetic child to come into existence, to actively participate in the pregnancy and to be recognized on the original birth certificate as the legal parent of the child. Both options allow a couple to experience the joys of parenting. For some gay couples surrogacy is the preferred journey towards parenting. The Center For Surrogate Parenting (CSP) is a surrogacy agency dedicated to helping intended parents achieve their dream of be-

3 2 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2013

come parents, regardless of sexual orientation. CSP helped its first gay couple become parents in 1987. “Every couple is special and we make no distinction between heterosexual intended parents and gay intended parents. We focus on the desire and the intent of a couple to create their own family,” states Center Director Karen Synesiou. CSP offers two surrogacy programs to their gay couples—IVF with an Egg donor (IVF/ED) and Traditional Surrogacy (AI). A question a gay couple needs to consider is who is to be biologically related to the child. These are the options a couple can consider: • One partner will become a parent for the first pregnancy and the second partner will parent the second child. • Both partners select an egg donor and these eggs are divided into two batches for

fertilization by each partner. One embryo created by each partner is then implanted into the surrogate mother. If twins are conceived then they are both biologically related to a child and the twins will have common genes because the same egg donor created them. If a single pregnancy is achieved then during the amnio, at birth or after birth genetic testing can be done to determine who the genetic father is. A second pregnancy can then be achieved by the using embryos created by the other father. • One partner can be genetically connected by choosing a relative to be an egg donor and the other partner then donates the sperm. Then there are the legal questions to consider: do you want a birth certificate with both fathers’ names on, or a birth certificate with one father and the surrogate mother or a birth certificate with one father and no second parent named? Most couples elect to have a birth certificate reflecting the names of both parents on the original birth certificate. There are a limited number of states that will permit a birth certificate to be issued listing Parent 1 and Parent 2. During your consultation at CSP they will discuss all the options with you, why you would consider one choice over the other and finally what is the best option for you as a couple. “We are proud to have been the first surrogacy agency to help a gay couple and we look forward to helping many more gay people create families in the future,” says Center Director Karen Synesiou. n For more information call CSP at 818-7888288 or visit: www.creatingfamilies.com.

Family Services Program Presents

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THE MORE YOU KNOW

? ? ANN ROSTOWâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TOTALLY AWESOME, ANNUAL LGBT NEWS QUIZ.

t's that time again, Dear FIGHT Readers. Time to take a short stroll down memory lane and revisit the idiosyncratic bits of flotsam and jetsam that wash ashore amidst the waves of our serious and important LGBT legal and political news coverage. Last year, conservative majorities in the New Hampshire legislature unexpectedly refused to repeal the Granite State's marriage equality law. Fine, fine, fine. But which gay icon had an asteroid named after him? Frank Kameny, of course! 3 4 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2013

In a historic leap of progress, we legalized marriage in Washington, Maine and Maryland. Three cheers for us. But do you remember the name of the woman who lay dead for a week in her London house while her husband did drugs in the next room? It was Eva Rousing and I forget the exact details. We won an anti-bullying consent decree against the Anoka-Hennepin school district in Minnesota. The EEOC determined that trans-bias was officially covered under Title

VII's workplace discrimination language. The Supreme Court accepted two major gay rights cases for the coming term. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But how about those TSA pranksters who taped a dildo to two gay guys' luggage and covered it with lube? And did you hear that famed chewy candies, "Mike and Ike," officially got divorced? They seemed so happy. I think you understand our priorities. So, without further introduction, let's proceed to our annual news quiz. Good luck, everyone.

PHOTO BY TONY BUCKINGHAM / ASSOCIATED NEWSPAPERS / REX FEATURES

??? ?

ANSWERS:

2. Which of these animals is openly gay? a) Winkleman, the squirrel who can paint holding a brush in his mouth, b) Leonard, a celebrity pug who lives in Tiberon, c) Tank, the Pomeranian who fell off a boat into the Chicago river but miraculously wound up at a city intersection, d) Romeo, a swan who lives in the Boston Public Gardens, e) Inca, a penguin living at the Madrid zoo. 3. What's my line? Match the name with the confession: a) I thought the guy sitting next to me on the bus was an alien, so I killed him and cut off his head with a knife, b) I ran naked down McArthur Boulevard in Miami, beat up a homeless man and chewed off part of his face, c) I was captured while googling myself in a Berlin coffee shop and arrested for dismembering a student in Montreal and mailing parts of his body to Canadian politicians, d) When my 12 year old son lost the sixth grade championship basketball game, I attacked the other coach and bit off his ear, e) I bit the nose off another inmate because he was gay. Is my name: Timothy Forbes? Luka Rocco Magnota? Vince Li? Timothy Schwartz? Rudy Eugene? 4. Which state decided to let school children select the official "State Insect?" Hint: almost all our states have butterflies or ladybugs or bees as their official insects. This state, by contrast, is represented by the "tarantula hawk wasp," a venomous flying hornet that lays its eggs on a paralyzed tarantula so the baby wasps can feed off the living spider when they hatch.

6. Which of these countries legalized same-sex marriage in 2012? a) Denmark, b) France, c) Tasmania, d) Australia, e) New Zealand, f) Israel, g) Taiwan, h) Argentina. 7. Who’s gay and who’s not? a) Gillian Anderson, b) Honey Boo, c) John Travolta, d) the Green Lantern, e) Kristy McNichol. 8. Either/Or: a) Which Catholic priest accidentally screened gay porn to the parents in his First Communion class? Was it Father Marcel Guarnizo, or Father Martin McVeigh? b) Which political leader left his daughter at a bar? Was it David Cameron, or Silvio Berlusconi? c) Which sociologist recanted his antigay research? Was it Robert Spitzer, or Mark Regenerus? d) Which high-level (theoretically heterosexual) power woman was caught in a lesbian scandal? Was it Florida Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll, or Immigration and Customs Enforcement Director Suzanne Barr? e) Which word means "duck fat?" Is it schmaltz, or shrift? 9. How will the Supreme Court handle the two gay rights cases next June? a) They will strike the Defense of Marriage Act using the rational basis test and uphold the Ninth Circuit's reasoning on Prop 8, b) They will deny standing to the Prop 8 organizers and strike DOMA using heightened scrutiny, c) They will deny standing to the Prop 8 organizers and also deny standing to the House Bipartisan Legal Advisory Group, but will acknowledge the Justice Department and strike DOMA in a vaguely worded decision d) They will restore Prop 8 and uphold DOMA using the rational basis test, e) They will issue multiple opinions on all aspects of both cases, creating a murky senseless hodgepodge, f) They will find that gay couples have a constitutional right to marriage in a 6-3 decision authored by Roberts, g) They will produce a different variation on the above combinations. n

ANSWERS:

5. Who said that? Match the quotes to six of the following twelve names. a) "Tu eras maricon" b) "I didn't know you had families." c) "Fucker!" d) "Ain't no homo gonna make it to heaven." e) "Do you think Callista's (Gingrich) hair snaps on?"

f) “If you do it (gay sex) you must know that you are wrong and it is rotten.” Jason Alexander, the King of the Zulus, Manny Pacquiano, Brad Pitt's mother, Dahrun Ravi, Tripp Palin, Ric Grenell, a toddler in an Indiana church, Mitt Romney, Yanel Escobat, Aaron Schock, Alan Chambers.

1: The answer is c), Jordan Addison. When Addison couldn’t afford repairs, several local businesses fixed his car for free. Joseph Baken was caught on video trying to replicate a Gabby Douglas backflip while drunk as a skunk. He subsequently blamed his head injuries on a gay bashing. Charlie turned out to be a nutcase, as did Kyle to a lesser extent. 2: The gay animals are b) d) and e), Leonard, Romeo and Inca. Winkleman and Tank have never commented on their sexual orientation, but Leonard, who belongs to Robin Williams, is openly gay. Romeo is in a long term relationship with her partner, Juliet. Inca and his partner, Rayas, recently adopted an egg. 3: a) Vince Li, b) Rudy Eugene, c) Luka Rocco Magnotta, d) Timothy Forbes, e) Timothy Schwartz. 4: It’s New Mexico, aka the Land of Enchantment. What if all policy decisions were based on a statewide vote by public school students? We might not be better off, but things could get more interesting. 5: a) Toronto Blue Jay, Yanel Escobat, who actually wrote it under his eyes, b) Mitt Romney, in a 2004 comment to the plaintiffs in the Massachusetts marriage case that came to light this year, c) Tripp Palin, age 3, to his Aunt Willow who refused to let him go swimming, d) The four-year-old at an Indiana church, who sang an antigay song to laughter and applause, e) Former gay Romney advisor Ric Grenell, who eventually resigned, f) The King of the Zulus, during an anniversary celebration of the 1879 victory against the British at the battle of Isandlwana. For the record, Jason Alexander said cricket was a “gay sport,” Manny Pacquiano said samesex marriage was against God’s law, and Brad Pitt’s mother wrote an antigay letter to an editor. Dahrun Ravi was sentenced to jail time for his role in the 2010 suicide of Tyler Clementi, Illinois Congressman Aaron Schock triggered gaydars around the country when he wore a pink shirt, white pants and a teal belt to a White House picnic, and Alan Chambers, the head of Exodus International, acknowledged that he still felt attracted to men. 6: It’s a), Denmark. France continues to debate the subject. Tasmania and Australia voted against marriage equality. New Zealand marriage equality passed an initial vote and might be legalized next year. Israel agreed to a gay divorce and recognizes marriage from elsewhere. Taiwan does not recognize marriage equality but a gay couple “married” in a ceremony last May. Argentina legalized marriage in 2010. 7: The correct response is e). Only Kristy, the star of “Family,” is officially gay. Gillian has had a few lesbian “flings.” Honey Boo is only seven or eight, but her Uncle Poodle is gay and likes to go “wallowing” with his husband. Travolta, well what can we say? The Green Lantern is straight, but another Green Lantern who lives on a parallel Earth is gay, so you get partial credit for d) if you honestly picked the parallel Green Lantern rather than the regular Green Lantern. 8: a) Martin McVeigh of Pomeroy, Ireland. Father Guarnizo was the guy who denied communion to a lesbian at her mother’s funeral in Maryland. b) David Cameron, who thought the child was in another car with his wife. c) Spitzer apologized for his 2001 work on reparative therapy. Regenerus stands by his study that compares the children of broken homes with a gay parent unfavorably to intact straight households. d) Oh My God. Jennifer Carroll was (allegedly) caught in the act having sex on her desk with a female aide. Suzanne Barr was forced to resign after (allegedly) sexually harassing various male subordinates. e) Schmaltz means duck fat. Shrift is priest-ordered penance after a confession. 9: g) One can never predict the Supreme Court, ergo it’s unlikely that anything I can think of will actually transpire.

1. Three of the following reported hate crimes were fabrications. Which one actually happened? a) Joseph Baken of Missoula, Montana, was beaten up outside a gay bar, b) Charlie Rogers, a Nebraska basketball player, was overpowered and slurs were carved into her body, c) In Roanoke, Jordan Addison's car was vandalized with antigay scratches, d) Gay Republican, Kyle Wood, was assaulted by gay Democrats for his work on a GOP campaign.

DECEMB ER JANUAR Y 2012 2013 || TH TH E E F F II GH GH TT 35 35

NEW YEAR, OLD YOU RETRAINING RIGID NEGATIVE BELIEF SYSTEMS IS DOABLE, BUT JUST LIKE GOING TO THE GYM ON A REGULAR BASIS IS NECESSARY FOR HEALTH AND WELL BEING, SO TO IS A PRACTICE OF CONSCIOUS CONCERTED EFFORT TO CHANGE OLD, STUCK PATTERNS. BY THOMAS MONDRAGON, LMFT “Another new year. How is this year going to be any different than last year? I dated a couple guys that didn’t work out. I go to the gym regularly. I have a couple of close friends. But this past year I still felt so alone, unfulfilled, like something was missing. And, honestly I’ve felt this way for a long, long time.”

his was coming from a very successful young gay man looking forward to the new year but not feeling hopeful that things could be different for him. It’s not surprising that so many gay people struggle with finding meaning in their lives beyond the constant partying, socializing, and the fabulousness of modern gay life. The reality is that from early childhood gay people suffered a daily erasure around their uniqueness and difference resulting in profound shame and invisibility. We should have been nurtured, encouraged, and celebrated around our budding queer sensibility, but due to intense heterosexism and homophobia in society, families, and religious institutions we ended up feeling empty, confused, lost. Hopelessness became a core feeling—and lingers years after coming out—shrouded in toxic shame reinforcing the vicious lie that homosexual 3 6 T H E F I GH T | J A N UA RY 2013

yearning for love and meaning is false, bad, disgusting and not attainable. Many ancient cultures and traditions honored individuals we would now call gay or homosexual. What was almost lost is the notion that there is a powerful transpersonal potential waiting to be discovered for gay people rooted in homosexual desire and

The reality is that from early childhood gay people suffer a daily erasure around their uniqueness and difference resulting in profound shame and invisibility. sexuality. And yet, when that hot guy for a gay man or sexy woman for a lesbian walks into the room and you feel the heat, the awe, the excitement in the image before you—we can say this is evidence of a deeply inner sourced and life-affirming gay spirit. How do we reconcile a gay vision of meaning with our daily existence that too often decries looking within at our feeling life, that

scoffs at a connection to a psychological/ spiritual inner guide? You can begin by understanding that hopelessness, shame, selfhatred, and emptiness was something that was traumatically put into you and is about what happened to you versus about who you are. You can learn to identify the voice of negativity within as a “person” in your psyche whose job is to spew homophobic toxicity wanting you to believe its message as real, but, that with practice you can learn to stand up to and counter this with the truth of your innate goodness and worthiness. Retraining rigid negative belief systems is doable, but just like going to the gym on a regular basis is necessary for health and well being, so to is a practice of conscious concerted effort to change old stuck patterns. Rather than only looking outside yourself—“if only I could find the right guy”— what is more effective is coming into a healthy relationship with yourself, rooted in working cognitive and practical steps to confront negativity and toxic feelings, held firm alongside the radical idea that there is a homosexual myth of meaning that unfolds transformational possibility and potential—which you so richly and finally deserve. n

THEEVENT

PHOTOS BY MIGUEL ANGEL REYES

DEREK PARKER JOSEF JASSO

ON THE RUNWAY

SOLD OUT CLOTHING BROUGHT 2012 TO A CLOSE WITH A STAR-STUDDED RUNWAY SHOW AT MICKYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S IN WEHO.

OLD OUT Clothing Co-owners Keith Webb and David Kahauolopua stage several shows throughout the year to showcase their new designs, bringing together an eyeful of visual treats for the audience. This year proved no different, with an army of models showcasing their Tom of Finland shirts as well as their line of original slogan designs. Explore their online shop at soldoutclothing.com.

JEREMY STEVENS

JOHNATHAN MYERS & ALESSANDRO DEL TORO 3 8 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2013

JOHN ODOM

ANTHONY DURAN & ADAM KILLIAN

RENATO MARCELLE & DOMINICK MUNAFO

DOMINICK MUNAFO

ADAM RUSSO

DALEND BILES

STEFANO ROSSO

CUTLER X AND ADAM RUSSO

KEITH WEBB AND ANTHONY DURAN JANUAR Y 2013 | T H E F I GH T 39

THECALENDAR GROUPS

PHOTO CREDIT- WWW.SILVER-IMAGE-PHOTO.COM

JASON & DEMARCO, AND SONS. SEE TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12

ASIAN/PACIFIC GAYS AND FRIENDS www.apgf.org GAY ASIAN PACIFIC SUPPORT NETWORK www.gapsn.org LOS ANGELES GAY AVIATION CLUB Pilots, Flights Attendants, Mechanics. www.unusualattitudes.info CLUB NUR Gay Middle Eastern. www.clubnur.com GAY MEN’S CHORUS OF LOS ANGELES www.gmcla.org THANK GAYS IT’S FRIDAY STANDUP COMEDY Every Friday, 8:30 p.m. MJ’s Bar, 2810 Hyperion Avenue, Los Angeles. (323) 650-1503 GAY & LESBIAN SALSA Every Monday, 8 p.m. Little Temple Bar, 4519 Santa Monica Blvd., Silverlake, 90029. gaysalsanight@yahoo. com or www.facebook.com/gaysalsanight

SUNDAY, JANUARY 13

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9

GLEH PRESENTS: GOLDEN GLOBES VIEWING PARTY Jim Henson Studios, Los Angeles. Event is from 4:00pm - 10:00pm. For tickets and/or more information visit gleh.org/goldenglobes or contact Brian McConnell, GLEH Community Relations Manager at 323-957-7200 Join Gay and Lesbian Elder Housing (GLEH) for The 1st Annual Green Room... A Golden Globes Viewing Party at legendary Jim Henson Studios. Wear your finest Muppet-inspired accessory; watch the Golden Globes while you mix and mingle with friends and fresh faces, bid on fabulous silent auction items, enjoy decadent hors d’oeuvres and desserts, and cocktails at the sponsored bars; and experience exciting live entertainment! Actress and philanthropist Julie Newmar will be receiving a Lifetime Achievement Award.

CREATING A FAMILY The Center Long Beach, 2017 E. Fourth Street, Long Beach, 9am, for more info visit: www.lagaycenter.org/familyservices, or call Porter at: (562) 434-4455 ext. 245. Thinking about starting a family, but don’t know where to start? Meet experts in the field of LGBTQ family formation, get answers to your questions about the many ways to create a family, and leave with resources that will help guide you on your journey to parenthood. Sponsored by: The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, The Center Long Beach and THE FIGHT.

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 2

HEROES IN RECOVERY 6K RACE Palm Springs, for more info please visit: www.heroesinrecovery.com. “Heroes in Recovery,” a movement ignited by Foundations Recovery Network, seeks to eliminate the social stigma that keeps addicted individuals from seeking help, to share stories of recovery for the purpose of encouragement and inspiration, and to create an engaged sober community that empowers people to get involved, give back, and live healthy, active lives. In California, the upcoming Heroes 6K race takes place in Palm Springs on February 2, 2013. The charity beneficiary for this race is the Soroptimist House of Hope located in Palm Springs. The focus of the Program is to provide women a safe, nurturing environment in which they can learn the life skills necessary to recover from their addiction and become productive members of society. 4 0 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2013

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 12

CELEBRATING FAMILIES OF DIVERSITY The NoHo Arts Center, 11136 Magnolia Boulevard, North Hollywood, for more info visit: www.jasonanddemarco.com. Pop singing duo and real-life partners, Jason & deMarco, together with their one-year old twin sons, Mason and Noah, and Jason’s parents, Bob and Karen, share their story during a time of inspiring music, presentations and Q&A. All kids 17 and under are admitted free. A portion of the evening’s proceeds benefit S.A.F.E., Jason & deMarco’s non-profit charity for GLBTQ foster children. THROUGH MARCH 24, 2013

IN FOCUS: ROBERT MAPPLETHORPE Exhibition at The Getty Center, 200 Getty Center Drive, Los Angeles. For more info visit: www.getty.edu Considered one of the great photographers of the second half of the twentieth century, Robert Mapplethorpe’s highly stylized explorations of gender, race, and sexuality became hallmarks of the period and exerted a powerful influence on his contemporaries.

GAY TRAFFIC SCHOOL Third Tuesday and Wednesday of every month, 6-10 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place, Los Angeles 90038. 1-800-Gay-4-You or www.laglc.org POP LUCK CLUB Second Sunday of every month, 11 a.m. Locations vary. Los Angeles based organization for Gay Dads, Prospective Dads, and their families. www.popluckclub.org PROSTATE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP 1st and 3rd Tuesday of each month, at the Gay & Lesbian Center. RSVP to Dennis@malecare.org or call (323) 860-7340. GREAT AUTOS OF YESTERYEAR The largest LGBT classic car club on the West Coast. www.greatautos.org LOS ANGELES PRIME TIMERS Social group for older mature gay men and admirers. www.laprimetimers.org LOS ANGELES GAY BRIDGE CLUB www.communityvisions.org/IAGLBC LOS ANGELES GAY/LESBIAN SCIENTISTS www.lagls.org LOS ANGELES GAY FOR GOOD Gays making a commitment to volunteer for social welfare and environmental service projects. www.gayforgood.org LOS ANGELES GAY NATURISM California Men Enjoying Naturism. cmen.info BI-OSPHERE P.O.V. Every 2nd Wednesday, 8-9:30 p.m., The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Topic-driven discussion for women and men who identify as, or are exploring bisexuality. MEN’S SPEAKEASY Every Tuesday at 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. Fun, alternative space for gay and bisexual men to meet and make new friends. LGBT BOOK CLUB First Wednesday of each month, 7:30-9:30 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302, M-F between 6-9 p.m. USC LAMBDA LGBT ALUMNI ASSOCIATION alumnigroups.usc.edu/lambda/ LOS ANGELES BLACK PRIDE www.myblackpridela.com GREATER PASADENA AID FUND www.greaterpasadenaaidfund.org POSITIVE IMAGES WORKSHOP Every Monday, from 7-9 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza,

> EMAIL YOUR EVENT OR GROUP TO 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. If you’re looking for ways to deal with HIV, the Live Life Better Workshop can help you learn coping skills, build a support system, and work toward your health goals. An RSVP is required. For more information or to reserve your place, call (323) 860-7321. The e-mail contact is positiveimages@ lagaycenter.org. TRANSGENDER PERCEPTIONS Every Friday, 8 p.m. The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302. M-F between 6-9 p.m. Social networking group offers a safe and welcoming opportunity for people of any age and gender identity to learn from others and to share experiences. GET CENTERED Meditation Class. Every Saturday, 10-11 a.m., $10. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd. Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7300. SENIORS SERVICES Ongoing, The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7359. DOMESTIC VIOLENCE SUPPORT Ongoing, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, 1625 N Schrader Blvd., Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-5806. MPOWERMENT WEEKLY WORKSHOPS Tuesdays and fridays, 6 p.m. APLA, 3550 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 300, Los Angeles. More info: Donta Morrison, tel: (213) 2011561. For young gay men of color—ages 18 thru 24—looking for a safe place to hang out. “Each week offers a great opportunity to vent, laugh, make friends, and simply celebrate who you are.” SUPPORT FOR HIV-POSITIVE WOMEN Second and fourth wednesdays, 7 p.m. The David Geffen Center, 611 south Kingsley Dr., Los Angeles. More info: call Women At Risk at (310) 204-1046. SOCAL SOCIAL CLUB For more info: www.Socalsocialclub.com. Southern California’s social & business network for lgbt professionals. 12 STEP GROUPS All groups meet at The Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N McCadden Place, Los Angeles. For more information, call (323) 860-7302 M-F between 6-9 p.m.

editor@thefightmag.com

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Mondays, 6:10-7:10 p.m. CRYSTAL METH ANONYMOUS Saturdays, 9:10-10:10 a.m. DEBTORS ANONYMOUS Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. MARIJUANA ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 8:15-9:45 p.m. Saturdays, 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Wednesdays, 7-8 p.m. SEXUAL COMPULSIVES ANONYMOUS Mondays, 8-9 p.m. Tuesdays, 8-9 p.m. Wednesdays, 8-9 p.m. Thursdays, 8:15-9:15 p.m. Saturdays, 12:15-1:45 p.m. WOMEN’S NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS Saturdays, Noon-1 p.m. SPORTS LOS ANGELES LESBIAN SOFTBALL www.lagaysoftball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN TACKLE FOOTBALL www.californiaquakefootball.com LOS ANGELES LESBIAN RUGBY www.eaglerockrugby.com WOMEN’S SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA GOLF www.womensgolf.org/wscga LOS ANGELES LESBIAN POKER www.lalpg.com LOS ANGELES WOMEN ON A ROLL Luncheons, Comedy Nights, and Conversation Groups. www.womenonaroll.com

SAGA LA Gay Ski & Snowboard Club. www.sagala.org V.O.I.L.A. Volleyball. www.lagayvolleyball.com GREAT OUTDOORS The largest gay outdoor recreational organization in Southern California. www. greatoutdoorsla.org GAY AND LESBIAN SIERRANS Camping, Outdoors, Hiking Angeles. www.sierraclub.org CHEER LA Cheerleading. www.cheerla.org

HOLY SPIRIT holyspirit-la.org, 4201 West Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90029 UNITED UNIVERSITY CHURCH uniteduniversitychurch.org, 817 West 34th St., Los Angeles, CA 90089 DIGNITY CENTER dignitylosangeles.org, 126 South Avenue 64, Los Angeles, CA 90042

DIFFERENT SPOKES Cycling www.differentspokes.com Rides start in various locations in the greater Los Angeles area.

HOPE LUTHERAN CHURCH-HLYWD hopelutheranchurch.net, 6720 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90038

SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA BLADES Ice Hockey. www.bladeshockey.com LOS ANGELES FRONTRUNNERS Running and walking club. www.lafrontrunners.com WEST HOLLYWOOD SOCCER CLUB Comfortable, supportive environment for learning and playing the world’s most popular game. www.gaysoccer.com LOS ANGELES GAY SCUBA CLUB www.barnaclebusters.org LOS ANGELES GAY ROCK CLIMBING www.lalgbtclimbing.com WEST HOLLYWOOD AQUATICS Swim and Water Polo Teams. www.wh2o.org

WORSHIP

LOS ANGELES GAY FLAG FOOTBALL www.laflagfootball.com There’s also lesbian tackle football.

METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH mccla.org, 4953 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027

WEST HOLLYWOOD GAY RUGBY www.larebellion.org

BETH CHAYIM CHADASHIM SYNAGOGUE bcc-la.org, 6090 West Pico Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90035

GAY & LESBIAN BOWLING LEAGUE www.tavernguildleague.com

HOLLYWOOD UNITED METHODIST CHURCH hollywoodumc.org, 6817 Franklin Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90028

LA ROWING www.larowing.org

LOS ANGELES GAY RODEO CLUB www.gsgra.org

LOS ANGELES POOL LEAGUE Friendly Billiard teams. www.lapl8ball.com

FIRST CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH OF LOS ANGELES fccla.org 540, South Commonwealth Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90020

KOL AMI REFORM SYNAGOGUE kol-ami.org, 1200 North La Brea Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90038

WEST HOLLYWOOD PRESBYTERIAN wehopres.org, 7350 W Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90046 MOUNT HOLLYWOOD CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH mthollywood.org, 4607 Prospect Ave., Los Angeles, CA 90027 IMMANUEL PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH immanuelpres.org, 3300 Wilshire Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90010 ST. MATTHEW’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stmatthewsnoho.org, 11031 Camarillo St., North Hollywood, CA 91602 CHRIST CHAPEL OF THE VALLEY christchapel.com, 11050 Hartsook St., North Hollywood, CA 91601 ST. PAUL’S LUTHERAN CHURCH stpaulssm.org, 958 Lincoln Blvd., Santa Monica, CA 90403 ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY stmonica.net, 725 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90403 WEHO CHURCH wehochurch.com, 916 N. Formosa Ave., West Hollywood, CA 90046 ST. VICTOR’S CATHOLIC CHURCH saintvictor.org, 8634 Holloway Dr. West Hollywood, CA 90069 ST. LUKE LUTHERAN stlukelutheran.com, 5312 Comercio Way, Woodland Hills, CA 91364

Decorative Sleep AIRELOOM BEDDING • SLEEPER SOFAS • CUSTOM FURNITURE CUSTOM MATTRESSES

Proudly Supporting The LGBT Community! Telephone: (310) 275-4655 257 North Robertson Blvd. Beverly Hills, CA 90211

JANUAR Y 2013 | TH E F I GH T 41

THEFINALFIGHT

THE WORLD ACCORDING TO MIKE HUCKABEE

IN THE EX-GOVERNOR’S TWISTED MIND, LGBT RIGHTS ARE PART AND PARCEL WITH SCHOOL MASSACRES.

BY ZINNIA JONES

have more respect for the Westboro Baptist Church—barely—than I do for disingenuous fools like Mike Huckabee and Bryan Fischer, who beat around the bush when it comes to school shootings because even they realize that the implications of what they’re saying are too repulsive to be stated openly. Consider Mike Huckabee’s simultaneous backtracking and doublingdown on his earlier remarks: ...it’s far more than just taking prayer or Bible reading out of the schools. It’s the fact that people sue a city so we aren’t confronted with a manger scene or a Christmas 4 2 T H E F IGH T | J A N UA RY 2013

carol. That lawsuits are filed to remove a cross that’s a memorial to fallen soldiers. Churches and Christian-owned businesses are told to surrender their values under the edict of government orders to provide tax-funded abortion pills. We carefully and intentionally stop saying things are sinful and we call them disorders. Sometimes, we even say they’re normal. And to get to where... we have to abandon bedrock moral truths, then ask, “Well, where was God?” And I respond that, as I see it, we’ve escorted him right out of our culture and we’ve marched him off the public square, and then we ex-

press our surprise that a culture without him actually reflects what it’s become. To Huckabee, it is a “bedrock moral truth” that LGBT people are not even “disordered” but sinful, that businesses providing insurance to their employees ought to be able to pick and choose whether those employees can have their birth control covered, and that the government should provide its official stamp of approval to the Christian religion. And when we no longer regard sexual minorities as abnormal and condemned by God himself, we’ve somehow created an environment conducive to the mass killings of children. In the twisted mind of Mike Huckabee, LGBT rights and women’s rights and the Establishment Clause are part and parcel with school massacres. Either we side with Huckabee’s God, a God that hates gays and contraception and secular government while also supposedly providing some measure of protection from tragedies, or we must accept the inverse: gaining our freedoms at the cost of children’s lives, which Huckabee’s God allows murderers to take freely. Where was God? Oh, he would have helped out somehow, if only we’d kept paying our dues of misogyny and homophobia and theocracy. It doesn’t sound so “rah rah God and country, amen!” when you put it that way, does it? But that’s what Huckabee means. Hate the queers, crush women’s reproductive freedom, disrespect the faith of everyone who’s not a Christian, or God will let your children be gunned down in their schools. Contrast that with the Westboro Baptist Church, who share this opinion but make no effort to hide it whatsoever. To them, the shooting was a direct act of God to punish an insufficiently homophobic nation, and they’re ready to tell the world. No evasions. No prettying it up. No circuitous, long-winded explanations to try and dance around what they really mean to say. They just say it: God sent the shooter. God hates fags. God will kill your children because you accepted gay people. So deal with it. They’re all scumbag religious vultures feeding on the still-warm corpses of children. But it’s even more insulting that some of them would try to disguise themselves as anything other than the revolting, merciless opportunists they are. n Read more commentary by Zinnia Jones at: www.freethoughtblogs.com/zinniajones